I never saw my parents fight, or even raise their voices toward the other. I know that many people will be skeptical of this claim, but it is true. One of the reasons for this peace is that each loved the other more than they loved themselves. Another is that my father only exercised his authority to resolve disputes when the dispute was over something especially important, and even then he did not do so in a domineering manner. He also greatly valued my mother’s council.
Hi Morris! I know exactly what you mean. My parents were married for 53 years and my mother stayed to my father after he died and was buried. She made the statement that she was still marred to my father and wanted no other man. I can say truthly, like you, I never once heard them argue or fight. They were married in 1942 before my father went over seas to Australia and the Pacific for WWII. I was born in 47. My father died in 95 and my mother in 06. Again, I never heard across word between them. That makes for a magnificent childhood. We were both blessed with fantastic parents.
I don't know if it's just me that thinks that godly women keep looking for ways to make their marriage better by reading books or watching videos like this but the men don't usually watch these things. It's either sports or politics so it's hard to explain certain things to them.
ghost sauce I know it’s late but I appreciate that 😊 Can we talk ? I know you LEGIT don’t know me but I want to ask a man questions (crazy I know .) thank you 😆
To the men who replied, I think the point is that MOST men won't. There are always exceptions to just about every rule. But generally speaking, women are more geared towards relationships and therefore more apt to seek for ways to improve their marriages. Men are much less apt to do so IN GENERAL. I congratulate you who are the exceptions. I think that as a man seeks God and draws closer to God, he is more likely to want to learn how to be a better husband.
Just over a month ago I did everything Pastor John said with my husband after the Lord through His wisdom brought some things to my attention. My husband turned around and blamed me 100% for what he was doing. My heart was crushed and I cried so much but God comforted me and gave me peace that I had done the right thing.
I have lived alot of my life as a single Mum, have hung with muso's and druggo's and worked in disabilities (violent ones), so i have copped alot of yuk in my life, so if you think you will shock me you are probably mistaken. I would just like to say that my life is happier than ever now and having a Christian husband has made for a wonderful relationship here on earth. My husband has a very responsible role as leader and i am very blessed to have him.
Love you Pastor. Ive learned and grown more from watching one yr of your videos than i did in all my 14 yrs as a believer. Im truly truly thankful for you, especially on days like today when I am overwhelmed with stress
“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 As a wife, I can say I’ve failed many times to have a gentle response to some things my husband has done or said, likewise my husband has also failed at this many times. I believe this specific jewel of wisdom found in proverbs can guide us in the righteous direction in terms of how we deal with each other in marriage in order to avoid conflict and discord. One thing that is extremely important in marriage as well is for both parties to be of one accord when it comes to being open for self-improvement and not shifting blame on one another. At the end of the day , we are all imperfect , we are all flawed and a lot of times we are also blind to our own faults as well.. sounds like a recipe for disaster doesn’t it?!😭😩🤦🏻♀️ so like John said, our first response should be to go to the one who holds the heart of our spouse in His hands. Pray! Fast & seek the will of God concerning every situation in your marriage.
Am fasting to restore my marriage 🙌🙌have gone through alots this 2years...God please restore marriage,show my husband that am going to be a proverb 31, woman (virtuous woman).. I will keep my marriage standing in Jesus name..🙏🙏🙏
I wish my husband knew this. I find a lot of men don't know the fundamental things of how to be a husband and a father, especially the broken and damaged ones. They go around breaking lives as they go along.
@@elainnajones9107 True, but the problem is now in marriage you have become one person, with equal responsibility for the other. Ultimately it is his choice of course, and we can not fix other people. But we also have to fight through prayer for our loved ones, especially the one we love the most, even if our feelings are not the same as they once were.
In contemporary society I don't think most of us are aware of or prepared for the roles of humility and sacrifice in our relationships and vocations and just the everyday dealings of day-to-day life. I know that until a Christian friend pushed me to read the bible regularly I wasn't. Having this awareness - though I still stumble with both humility and sacrifice so often - has changed me and my life for the better. Thank you for wonderful answer to that question.
Great insight yet again from #JohnPiper, I hope we can all appreciate the wisdom shared. Piper brings us first to the significance of the word of God on our perspective but he leans further as he wakes us up to a wrong, sometimes complacent attitude we can have in our relationships. Thanks again John, may our Lord Jesus Christ continue to faithfully lead you in these discussions. Grace and Peace to you all.
Wow I like what you said at 1;58... We are under the Lord for themselves... Very true we see problems faster Nd before something arises. Thank u so much for your counsel 🙏😍
What a humble wonderful man of God Pastor Piper is. Thank you Pastor for sharing the wisdom our Almighty Lord provides you. To God be the glory forever and ever, Amen 🙏
God is the King of logic He's also one who is direct and straight to the point no in between with Him.If He said to love Him you have to,same thing if He said you will die you will there's no arguing with God. We shouldn't argue with someone who can't lie
@@mel8469 A man I dont fear will never be a King to me. You kneel to a fake puny King, and i pity you for this. The hand of your so called King has no weight on my shoulder.
Then you have shared demonic lies. The proper God-ordained order is, despite Piper's lie, Kids submit to and be instructed by parents, wife submits to and is instructed by the Husband as to God, and the Husband submits to and is instructed by God. You are trying to do God's job and you suck at it and are complaining that God is not doing his job well enough. Repent and the fighting will end.
Ladies I prayed and it WORKS!! Bow on your knees covering your feet and head like Moses and ASK. Fast if you have too because it works faster. YIPPIE!! Hubby cant see it, Pastor too focused on the men being the head. GO TO GOD THROUGH CHRIST. He sees it, he knows it, he understands it, and he is "no respecter of persons". Please do yourself a big favour, Go to the ultimate authority and you will never complain about your husband again even if you coke has no ice.
@@framboise595 Really? So if you husband told you to have group sex you would? Remember what you just said, be submissive now. No need to go to Christ in prayer. You need to focus on your relationship to Christ, because that is who we should be following and HE is our Saviour.
@@framboise595 There are plenty of prophesying Christian men who turn to prostitutes, in fact many preachers are their best customers. Many preachers rape, and steal and do all manners of sin. GET REAL with Christ and STOP WORSHIPPING MEN. Worship Jesus Christ the Son of the LIVING GOD.
Oh thank you and God bless you for this. I was having a pity-party and was so about ready to just say enough is enough... but here we go, words of wisdom being poured out on me and I’m being reminded who I am :). Thank you and God bless you richly!
Except that what Piper said was all lies and folly he proper God-ordained order is, despite Piper's lie, Kids submit to and be instructed by parents, wife submits to and is instructed by the Husband as to God, and the Husband submits to and is instructed by God. Yu are trying to do God's job and you suck at it and are complaining that God is not doing his job well enough. Repent and the fighting will end.
I disagree with you saying that he is wrong. Each has a responsibility of seeking out Christ as individuals to have an independent relationship with our Lord and Savior. We also have a responsibility to stay within our God designed and created roles. Husbands - through love - lead, protect, and provide. Wives, out of love, submit to the headship of the husband. What you are describing is the functionality of roles within the confines of the marriage, for which is a representative of the image of the relationship between Christ and the church. We both are created in the image (likeness and essence) of God; however, in our differences we have different functions.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33
That wife in the example may have been creating the conflict & John gives her a total pass! Yikes! He says the husband "blew it" but my guess is that was perhaps not the case. How about the woman be thankful that the man got her something at all? Drink it without the ice or the complaint? Wives in general are better than this, & it grieves me that he set this up as some normal occurrence & that the "solution" was for this poor guy to remember his marching orders next time & get whatever most pleases this woman. How's that conducive to her growth? Ladies, we have to grow up because it would appear that our credibility with too many men is far lower than it needs to be.
I did notice this, and it may be because he puts instruction on men harder given their role as a leaders. Yes, of course a wife should also be forgiving and gentle and thankful, but anyone with an earthly leader or authority of any kind will want the utter best out of them. Just think about how we naturally behave with our own parents, or police, or even presidents when we don’t get what we want. ( I’m not even all that political or taking sides it’s just an analogy) you are both utterly for each other and under the same mission. I’m not trying to defend him, intact i agree that this question was something that should have been answered more towards her. But it was for good intent, for to whom much is given much is required.
@@crosscollisionhope A wife has to SUBMIT in everything . But of course cowards are harder on men because society hates men and it is very easy to follow society.
Great wisdom in this video, however, I'm not quite sure if it is a flawed cultural interpretation or a divine scriptural interpretation that if a man is dejected about the way he has been spoken to and this affects his performance as a servant leader, that this equates to "sulking" and "self-pity". Is there a biblical mandate for men to be emotionally bulletproof? Or was this just a way to take the edge off the culturally uncomfortable topic of women's specific responsibility?
I missed it... I heard that the husband is supposed to pray, admit fault, be humble when he’s wrong if his wife corrects him... Wife is to pray, point out her husband’s blindspots, and correct her husband? Is that all? I didn’t see how the Christ/Church marriage analogy applies in his answer. Please forgive me being so forward, but it seems that many teachings in Christian circles tend to speak boldly towards husband responsibilities, but not towards those of the wife.... Are wives not also to be confronted on their sins and blindspots?
@ John Michael But you should not be ashamed to be so forward because there is such a lack of frankness and boldness in modern Christian circles ..may not be too politically correct to address all the evils of modern women . Actually , women are NOT told about their duties anymore . Where has Titus 2:4 gone ?? In my own church , yet not in the same country as Piper , the teacher focused on how a husband should "love "his wife but not a word on my duties as a wife. There is an evil feminist spirit screwing the whole western Christianity. I don't want to hear those "pastors" anymore.
He's dealing with the one place where the analogy of Christ and the Church break down. The husband is not sovereign like God, therefore he needs a "helper" fit to support him. He's also showing that even though God is sovereign and in control, he still involves the agency of his church to act. Therefore women need to act and be dynamic supporters of their husbands. They should have their own relationship with God that leads them to advise their husbands, not just take a back seat.
What is a wife's responsibility in solving marital conflict? I thought this was the question, it has turned out to be whats the husbands responsibility. Can't any question touching how women behavior be answered without mingling men? That's a problem with the society, women are not being told the truth about what is their role in life e.g according to...Proverbs 31:10-31...*17 She is a hard worker, strong and industrious.---Today she is a...fill in the gaps.....not all women though!
I agree John piper was supposed to read first Peter chapter 3 verse 1 to 6 and not read verse seven… jcrockett and Ted m, you guys are right, and acharich speaks didn't see it... I would also include Titus 2:3-5... 1 Tim 2: 9-14, 1 Tim 2:14, Genesis chapter 3.... God's punishment to Eve and every women... God's punishment to Adam and every man... God punished Adam for obeying his wife...
@@tuaregcreative According to numerous passages in the Bible from Genesis 3 on to Eph 5:22-33 and I Peter 3:1-7 the real answer is that she should fully submit to her husband as unto God. If she stops rebelling, the conflict is over. It really is that simple.
He gets a direct question about a wife's responsibility, and turns it into a mocking, finger-pointing lecture to men about their faults (in this case, a _manufactured_ fault). And he wouldn't even give *that* until he first got defensive over a man being the head of his wife, smh. I kept listening, as he didn't even mention a responsibility; he mentioned two things she "should" do--both of which come from a belief of her being intrinsically "better." I am seeing more direct answers from some of the women in the comment section! How are pastors going to help people have better marriages when they spend 96% of their time and energy emphasizing responsibilities of *only* men?
You are right. If you listen to many of John Piper's videos you will find him almot always in direct opposition to scripture teaching and common sense. This man is Satan's minion on Sheepdog's clothing. He is not a man of God. He always sides with woman and to the destruction of the family.
@@des711 des, I found God decades ago. He was not hiding. Exactly what words of Jesus are you referring to. He said many things. I suggest you read Paul's commands on marriage in Eph 5. If a wife is in subnission to her husband there can be no prolonged marital conflict since she will submit to her husband/s leadership. and not argue with him. It really is that simple, 1) Christians marry other Christians. 2) The wife submits to her own husband as God;s representative in her family. 3) The husband leads with love, not perfectly but with good intent. It is near impossible for a husband to fight with a wife who says and reaaly means, "yes, dear." Our culture has reversed this and chaos has resulted.
The question is about “…a wife’s responsibility in solving marital conflict,” yet the response ends up being about what the man needs to do better, different, etc. Should a husband go sulk because he was shown a lack of gratitude by his wife? No - but neither should he say “I’m sorry, let me try again.” In the example given, her responsibility is to first show gratitude and appreciation for his efforts, adding that she would appreciate ice and reminding him that their child needs a different type of juice. (He also needs to be responsible to remember some simple needs & preferences, because a thoughtful act isn't very thoughtful if it's not with the other persons' needs & preferences in mind). Too often, however, women are deprived of the feedback they need to improve, and men are told to follow the destructive (even if well-meaning) advice of the sort given here, and the consequence is an absolute plague of narcissistic wives running their marriage and the entire household using methods of guilt and manipulation. I suspect that very few of them are doing so consciously. Most, I think, are actually doing so subconsciously out of habits formed by their poorly instructed husband following the kind of advice being given in this video. Relying on such advice, we reward and reinforce negative behaviors until our wives are narcissistic and self-centered; then we become bitter and resentful, and go “sit and sulk.” Eventually that sulking becomes a divorce, an affair, or worse. It's past time that we confront the responsibilities of women & wives; not just men & husbands.
naturallysimple How ? This man just circles around and does not give husbands the TOOLS that go hand in hand with an authoritative position in order to rebuke and correct a wife's bad behaviour. It is as if he told fathers something like : your son disobeys you , disrespects your authority ? It's OK , take him to Toys Are Us. That is how you get more and more spoiled children with dysfunctional behaviours. Same thing for wives .
Why does it come down to finding a way to submissively tell your husband he’s wrong? That’s seems to me contradicting. Can we as the church find a way to submissively tell Jesus he’s wrong? I don’t think that would go over too well. You don’t just humbly find ways to cut your husband down a notch. He’s a lot smarter than you give him credit for, just in different ways than the wife. If he’s a godly man he’ll correct his actions as the Holy Spirit convicts him. As far as the soda goes, I think there’s a bit too much neuroticism in someone who gets upset over that. If my wife were to bring me a soda, ice or no ice I would be thankful and drink the darn thing. Who with a healthy mind criticizes someone’s acts of service. That’s probably a big part of what’s wrong with today’s church. If you have someone that cares enough about you to be of service to you (which is what spouses should do) DO NOT take them for granted. You may one day find yourself alone and realize how insignificant you are to everyone else.
Piper's This Momentary Marriage (free on the Desiring God site!) Is outside of the Bible the best book on marriage I have read, & used for further study. It has been extremely helpful & I encourage anyone reading this to go buy or download the book.
Many modem Christian women just don't have this anymore! They see the problems yes but when they pray to God on how to solve them it's very much like this: God make my husband see we need more money and have him work a part time job or overtime but have it be just the right amount and not a penny too much because he still needs to come home and keep me company for 4 hours a day and still sleep in bed with me for atleast 8 hours. The issues is more about expectations being all out of whack a husbands be responsible for way more then they should be. A healthy Christian women should be able to run her home and have help from other family when her man has to be away with not woe is me crying! To much wining with women to much babying then they up and leave her husband for a man that does not give into her crying and complaining. She don't leave him for a man in no apron!
Married in 1987 , my husband and i had 7 children. For years i disobeyed God by refusing to stay away from him during his drug addiction. It hurt me and the children - not physical abuse but financial and emotional abuse definately. He was also involved with other women but i chose to forgive and stand in faith for his deliverance from all that and his conversion. But i was in disobedience by not leaving him completely in Gods hands and waiting patiently from afar. I dragged my children thru so much l9ss and hardship - homelessness and lack. After awhile i became bitter and took the first opportunity to be comforted by another man. ( adultery) i told my husband over the phone that i was going to. I didnt want to be deceitful. How dumb bcause i was being deceitful and sinning against God. So my Husband & i have been apart now for 15 years - we are grandparents now. He claims to be married to someone else but he claimed that the last relationship he was in. But i never got any papers of divorcement. The last time he said he married another - it was annulled soon after on the grounds of him already being married to me ( he hadnt divorced me) Here we are hes 60 now and im in my fifties - and im still hoping our legacy
Ooops accidently tapped the button but the end of my sentence is -- i want family wholeness in Christ. I fully repented years ago and want the live and mercy of God to be displayed by us to our children & grandchildren. He acts like he hates me but i know he is just hurt bcause he thought i would never be with another man. In Gods eyes im forgiven and never have done that. Glory to God forever
@@eileenfisher587 Hello Miss Eileen, I'm hoping you have the love of God restored in your marriage and may he bless your doings always. You have recieved that your heart is right and renewed with God right? then your God shall renew all things according to his riches in glory. if I may be blunt, though, it wasn't that you were being disobedient by staying with him. It was that your heart didn't have true love for him because love endures all things like 1 Corinthians 13 says. Secondly, it was the Devil's deception that caused you to think that you should be apart from him in his time of need. Yes, your children suffered, and yes you struggled, but there is nothing that God cannot heal nor any thing he can't provide. He was hoping you would stand still instead of trying to make your own way. Now, though, you have renewed hope in God and a fresh perspective on the situation and here is all you should do: reconcile. If you are still married than you are still responsible for one another and that means we don't wait until someone is better to try to make it work we go in and we preach the Gospel like never before. We hope and we tryst and we patiently wait for the salvation of the Lord. Or, as an aside, you have all right to ask for a divorce, now that he has consented to go unto others. Your heart though sounds willing to accept him again, so I give you my God's word that there is nothing impossible, including for God to save am unbelieving husband or restore dead or broken things so for decades. Remember the woman with the issue of blood was sick 15 years before she was found by Jesus. Yet she was restored and that in abundance of the life and joy and inclusion of Christ with himself because God called her a daughter
Please pray for my husband Jeremy. He has bipolar disorder and is in a very dark place. He has become bitter and angry. He has been saying he wants to give up on life. He is a believer but he has quit going to church and reading the Bible. He says he can no longer hear Gods voice and is lost. He's making financial mistakes that are concerning me. We have a young son who needs his daddy to be okay again. Please pray for him. Thank you for your prayers ♡
What is a wife's responsibility in solving marital conflict? I thought this was the question, it has turned out to be whats the husbands responsibility. Can't any question touching how women behavior be answered without mingling men? That's a problem with the society, women are not being told the truth about what is their role in life e.g according to...Proverbs 31:10-31...*17 She is a hard worker, strong and industrious.---Today she is a...fill in the gaps.....not all women though!
Because they pay him. He is also Satan's man, not God's. Most everything he says is in opposition to scripture. What he should have said i "submit to your husband. Quit fighting him and the fight will be over immediately."
I agree on the response in that a Husband should lead and overcome the offense and not sulk, but Im amazed that He did not address the ungratefulness and disrespect that the wife showed the husband, especially when she disrespected him publicly. I feel that too many tiptoe around anything that is confrontational to women. Truth is there is an epidemic of irresponsible men that don't Love their wives as they should and don't lead their families spiritually or otherwise, but there also is an epidemic of women that don't respect, value or honor there husbands. Word needs to be done on both side. Its not only WHAT is said, but he WAY it is said. I would argue that both are equally important. What good is truth without love?
He is not just beating around the bush, he is deliberately turning the truth inside out and lyyind as his father the devil does. The proper God-ordained order is, despite Piper's lie, Kids submit to and be instructed by parents, wife submits to and is instructed by the Husband as to God, and the Husband submits to and is instructed by God. Wives are trying to do God's job and they suck at it and are complaining that God is not doing his job well enough. Repent and the fighting will end.
Its so hard when you have been treated wrongly by your husband or want better treatment (the Way You feel loved), and when he doesnt do it, how do you tell him or not tell him at all. Maybe submission here would mean to just pray and let God deal with him..its hard if your hurting and want to solve the issue
+John Forcey The only thing is that he has been known by so many people by now that he cannot answer all of us any more. But there should be many as (both theologically and character-wise) qualified pastors in your area as He is. Please let me pray for you so that you can find more meaningful fellowship than asking him online -- because Dr. Piper may not know where your question comes from very well if without knowing you through personal relationship with you.
The account describing the husband getting the wrong beverages for his family is completely backwards in its logic. “Men today are expected to have 100% responsibility in relationships, but 0% authority”-Rollo Tomassi
I have to agree. There has to be a sense of compassion from the wife in this situation... imagine being a husband and watching football upstairs and asking for your wife to bring you something cool to drink only to get a warm drink. The results would not go like this neither would it be consider that she needs to correct the drink. In fact it would suggest he is demanding, over the top, and has no sense of consideration for her efforts.
what do you do when your wife says 'because i told you that is why you do it and if not you will not' when you humble yourself and do it when she reminds or mention to you?
@@framboise595 thank you. You sure you are a lady replying? Sorry don't mean anything personal but your response seems like from a male response. In anyways I appreciate your comment and advice
@@InjoyTech Thanks. It seems like from a male response because I'm using the Bible and the Bible is certainly the manliest book ever. Last advice : a man should humble himself before Christ. Not before a woman , let alone his. It's devastating. Women don't respect such men who don't resist them a little. He already provides for her and protects her. What else does she want ?
@@loveoflife709 sorry ,I juz knew about his faith late..I'm a late bloomer Christian..and I asked God to forgive me of not praying and consulting Him about whom to marry
Nonsense, you always seem to change the word just slightly to make it sound good.... Scripture doesn't say it's Christ and then wife it says Christ then husband then wife...
Not sure why all these people are arguing in the comments, but I just wanted to say that, as a God-fearing wife, this has really helped me! It's a great reminder for me to be gentle, humble, and loving when approaching my husband about an issue, and I just love videos like this that help marriages from the Christian perspective. Thank you :)
"Fie, fie! unknit that threatening unkind brow, And dart not scornful glances from those eyes, To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor: It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads, Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds, And in no sense is meet or amiable. A woman mov'd is like a fountain troubled, Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty; And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it. Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper, Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee, And for thy maintenance commits his body To painful labor both by sea and land, To watch the night in storms, the day in cold, Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe; And craves no other tribute at thy hands But love, fair looks and true obedience; Too little payment for so great a debt. Such duty as the subject owes the prince Even such a woman oweth to her husband; And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour, And not obedient to his honest will, What is she but a foul contending rebel And graceless traitor to her loving lord? I am ashamed that women are so simple To offer war where they should kneel for peace; Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway, When they are bound to serve, love and obey. " Shakespeare , Taming of the Shrew Act 5 scene 2 This is what should be said to an ungrateful wife who seeks for rule , war and supremacy instead of kneeling for peace. I don't know if Shakespeare was Christian , but what he put in the mouth of his character Catharina is 100% biblical ..and suppressed by the church system , isn't it Mr Piper ?
What was Sapphira's responsibility in her marriage to Ananias? What was Ananias's responsibility in his marriage to Sapphira? What was the responsibility of any underage and/or adult children who may have been part of Sapphira and Ananias's marriage to both their parents and to their neighbors at the time too? I have thought about those questions without resentment and fear whenever reading the bible passage in Luke 9:48. Is the only reason I do not fear when reading that passage because I can say that I came from a working class family or what? Since I cannot explain my own feelings fully then I have no right to explain the nature of someone else's feelings during their entire life.
I have just begun to truly look deeper into submission of a Christian wife, and I so strongly dislike it. Not because I disagree with it, but because it is so bloody hard to submit, especially for someone incredibly stubborn and proud like me.
Yes I agree I trip up in when he is throwing at me Al ways I not a godly wife. While I am Sharing What God has done for me. Husband acts like I trying to outdo him, I m grieving my husband not seeing and acts Ike God would not talk to me and it’s in you head. Or I didn’t understand. Insidious
@@xavierthomas5835 Any man can recognise easily if his wife is worthy or not. Please just take a look at the man in Proverbs 31 and see if he does not praise his wife for being a godly woman.
@@framboise595 You don't know what manner of spirit your are of, do you? Do you recognize that the Fatehr has called the least things as though they were the greatest? And the poor as though they were rich? JAH himself has said that the least shall be called the greatest. Yet you would say that a man is worthy to judge this woman? Go and ask your husband if he will save you and let you into heaven, and then come and tell me again if he will save you. He is a breath away from death every moment and you would laud him like this? Cease from man, whose breath is in his nostrils, and his mind in the lower parts of the Earth. Blessed is the man whose hope is in the Lord, for he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, bearing his fruit in due season, and plenteously rewarded for his proud doing.
@@xavierthomas5835 You must love Piper so much as you dodge the topic as much as he does. In Proverbs 31 , it is the husband -and the sons who call the wife blessed . It is the husband who trusts her because she is trustworthy. It's all about the husband first since the woman was made for the man , and not the man for the woman as Piper and plenty of liars preach today . So he does have a right to judge her conduct towards him. This is perfectly scriptural. What is not however is the way piper and co encourage wives to judge their husbands and usurp their authority. But those wolves are nothing but feminists in "complementarian " guise. They preach the "he for she "feminist abomination. Not the godly she for he .
But what do I do when my husband is combative, condescending and defensive, no matter how submissive or lovingly I bring anything up? I’m praying. That’s all I can do.
And if you listen to Piper you will remain a single girl. Piper is a satanic liar. he proper God-ordained order is, despite Piper's lie, Kids submit to and be instructed by parents, wife submits to and is instructed by the Husband as to God, and the Husband submits to and is instructed by God. Yu are trying to do God's job and you suck at it and are complaining that God is not doing his job well enough. Repent and the fighting will end.
" I am ashamed that women are so simple To offer war where they should kneel for peace; Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway, When they are bound to serve, love and obey. " Shakespeare Taming of the Shrew Act V scene II Perfect illustration of 'marital conflict'
Obedience is not the same as submission. They have different meanings in Greek and English. And there is a tendency to forget Paul's admonition in Ephesians "as unto the Lord". There's a caveat here. "As unto the Lord" is required by both spouses." The whole passage in context also includes the need, the necessity, at times for mutual submission. "The Taming of the Shrew, while a Shakespearean play, reminds us that a Christian wife should NOT be a shrew, if she is submitted to Jesus 1st. If she persists in such behavior, please see my comment about personality disorders.
congradulations! This means you've passed the test and are a child of light and will recieve the anointing to be taught by the Christ and have the coded meanings unveiled for you. If not, too bad-you fell for the parable that was given to decieve those who are without and have wickedness in their hearts because they had no problem believing evil things about God and show themselves quite glaringly to those who have found the key of knowlege and entered within. Your choice, who's your dady
With that being said I think he's oversimplifying the coke/juice example. There might be a backstory there and the wife might be extremely difficult to satisfy. Or perhaps Piper is right (after a fashion) and the best way to teach your wife is to serve first (even when she is being demanding and unreasonable) so she will listen to you, watch you, and wonder why you are serving. She is seeing you wake up every morning and praying right? She is hearing you always talk about the importance of 'you' living God's will and purpose for your life above your own wants and desires right?
Everything is not necessarily prayer, a simple counseling can save your marriage from hell, my home was once a hell on Earth until I came across Dr. Gbenga on RUclips who gave me counsel on what to do, since September 23, 2020 till date, my home has been peaceful and I live happily with my wife.
As a "responder" and "follower" it is not the wife's responsibility in solving marital conflict. But, as a Christian, it IS her responsibility to be Christlike. Meaning, asking forgiveness when necessary, repenting, and loving her husband with a fearful respect.
@ Michael Sayen It is her duty to SUBMIT but she does not and of course plenty of modern cowards disguised as "pastors" won't tell her to do so . Actually it is the Sound Doctrine that is being willfully overlooked and disliked as predicted by Paul 200 years ago. What do those "pastors" fear ? The first Christians feared the lions yet they were courageous. Modern "pastors" do not have lions to fear but they fear women ? !!! What a joke !
@jrswordfish1 and sorry if i offended you. again i thought you were coming from a Christian point of view and saying what's in the bible isn't true. and Merry Christmas to you too!
I love John Piper. The overspiritualization in Christianity can be rampant though. Sometimes it are the police, sometimes a counselor, the relatives, a separation etc. ways along with prayers out of marital problems though. Love Mark Gangor when it comes down to such questions. Blessings.
What if he doesn’t think he ever does anything wrong? What if he isn’t receptive? What if he doesn’t lead spiritually as he should? Coke without ice…really? This is a serious question about marital problems.
These guys always assume that the man is always the problem, and that the wife always has the answers that the man has to submit to and that’s called leadership 🤦♂️
The problem is that some women today don’t appreciate what is provided for them and even if he goes to get what was missing, she sees it not as servant leadership but that he is her pet. Guys pay better attention to your woman, and women be more graceful towards your man.
I never saw my parents fight, or even raise their voices toward the other. I know that many people will be skeptical of this claim, but it is true. One of the reasons for this peace is that each loved the other more than they loved themselves. Another is that my father only exercised his authority to resolve disputes when the dispute was over something especially important, and even then he did not do so in a domineering manner. He also greatly valued my mother’s council.
I was raised the same what a awsum marriage.
What a wonderful thing!
Hi Morris! I know exactly what you mean. My parents were married for 53 years and my mother stayed to my father after he died and was buried. She made the statement that she was still marred to my father and wanted no other man. I can say truthly, like you, I never once heard them argue or fight. They were married in 1942 before my father went over seas to Australia and the Pacific for WWII. I was born in 47. My father died in 95 and my mother in 06. Again, I never heard across word between them. That makes for a magnificent childhood. We were both blessed with fantastic parents.
💥❤💥
Morris Wilburn I wished I was your sister and they my parents
I don't know if it's just me that thinks that godly women keep looking for ways to make their marriage better by reading books or watching videos like this but the men don't usually watch these things. It's either sports or politics so it's hard to explain certain things to them.
Well I'm a man watching this video.
ghost sauce I know it’s late but I appreciate that 😊
Can we talk ? I know you LEGIT don’t know me but I want to ask a man questions (crazy I know .) thank you 😆
@chewmanga drostodsadly, I think you are right. I apologize on behalf of all the women who don't appreciate the efforts men put in.
I'm a man. I just watched it. And I dont watch sports or politics.😊
To the men who replied, I think the point is that MOST men won't. There are always exceptions to just about every rule. But generally speaking, women are more geared towards relationships and therefore more apt to seek for ways to improve their marriages. Men are much less apt to do so IN GENERAL. I congratulate you who are the exceptions. I think that as a man seeks God and draws closer to God, he is more likely to want to learn how to be a better husband.
Just over a month ago I did everything Pastor John said with my husband after the Lord through His wisdom brought some things to my attention. My husband turned around and blamed me 100% for what he was doing. My heart was crushed and I cried so much but God comforted me and gave me peace that I had done the right thing.
When doing what God wants us to do is never in vain
He has to meet you half way. Pray for God to open His eyes- if God is leading you hold on, a breakthrough in your marriage is coming. Keep going
@@TheWarriorLV Amen. Thanks for the encouraging words. God bless you
C D 💛
C D don't give up! Your response and reactions are to ultimately glorify God and your reward will be in heaven. God work on her husband's heart!
I have lived alot of my life as a single Mum, have hung with muso's and druggo's and worked in disabilities (violent ones), so i have copped alot of yuk in my life, so if you think you will shock me you are probably mistaken. I would just like to say that my life is happier than ever now and having a Christian husband has made for a wonderful relationship here on earth. My husband has a very responsible role as leader and i am very blessed to have him.
Love you Pastor. Ive learned and grown more from watching one yr of your videos than i did in all my 14 yrs as a believer. Im truly truly thankful for you, especially on days like today when I am overwhelmed with stress
“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”
Proverbs 15:1
As a wife, I can say I’ve failed many times to have a gentle response to some things my husband has done or said, likewise my husband has also failed at this many times.
I believe this specific jewel of wisdom found in proverbs can guide us in the righteous direction in terms of how we deal with each other in marriage in order to avoid conflict and discord. One thing that is extremely important in marriage as well is for both parties to be of one accord when it comes to being open for self-improvement and not shifting blame on one another. At the end of the day , we are all imperfect , we are all flawed and a lot of times we are also blind to our own faults as well.. sounds like a recipe for disaster doesn’t it?!😭😩🤦🏻♀️ so like John said, our first response should be to go to the one who holds the heart of our spouse in His hands. Pray! Fast & seek the will of God concerning every situation in your marriage.
Read: Laura Doyle
First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors and then put it into
practice.
@@mj7335 will definitely check it out!
@@SingMiaSong Let me know if you find anything better or as good. Thank you.
@@mj7335 ok! thanks!
Am fasting to restore my marriage 🙌🙌have gone through alots this 2years...God please restore marriage,show my husband that am going to be a proverb 31, woman (virtuous woman).. I will keep my marriage standing in Jesus name..🙏🙏🙏
I wish my husband knew this. I find a lot of men don't know the fundamental things of how to be a husband and a father, especially the broken and damaged ones. They go around breaking lives as they go along.
@S M. Thanks but you know what he chose the world and got snared' by it
I disagree. Its not up to women to fix men and show them. They need to fix themselves before seeking marraige. I didnt break him I cant fix him.
@@elainnajones9107 True, but the problem is now in marriage you have become one person, with equal responsibility for the other. Ultimately it is his choice of course, and we can not fix other people. But we also have to fight through prayer for our loved ones, especially the one we love the most, even if our feelings are not the same as they once were.
@@elainnajones9107
As if women did not need fixing ...
@S M. Fairytale women, think they're in beauty and the beast
Popped up on my feed this morning 🌞!!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!! and thanks for sharing sir....
This one touched my heart. The Lord Jesus bless Pastor Piper for his love of the Way, Truth, and Life!!
In contemporary society I don't think most of us are aware of or prepared for the roles of humility and sacrifice in our relationships and vocations and just the everyday dealings of day-to-day life. I know that until a Christian friend pushed me to read the bible regularly I wasn't. Having this awareness - though I still stumble with both humility and sacrifice so often - has changed me and my life for the better. Thank you for wonderful answer to that question.
This is so helpful and what was needed. Thank you! 🙏🏽💗
Wow. This helped me Alot.
Please Lord I ask that I would rise and step up my leadership
I can appreciate this right here. Thank you for sharing this
If only my husband will listen on certain difficulty situations; good suggestion Pastor Piper, I will follow it, thank you. Praise God
Remember God gives us different seasons. pain is better than laughter for it has a refining effect on our souls.
That's beautiful
😅
Absolutely agree.
Amen Thank you Lord Jesus
Difine pain sister? Sinfulness is the greatest kind of pain. How do we endure throughout that.
Thank you, this is exactly what I needed this morning!
I love what he said at 3:40
Whew! Great teaching MOG!
Great insight yet again from #JohnPiper, I hope we can all appreciate the wisdom shared. Piper brings us first to the significance of the word of God on our perspective but he leans further as he wakes us up to a wrong, sometimes complacent attitude we can have in our relationships. Thanks again John, may our Lord Jesus Christ continue to faithfully lead you in these discussions. Grace and Peace to you all.
Wow I like what you said at 1;58... We are under the Lord for themselves... Very true we see problems faster Nd before something arises. Thank u so much for your counsel 🙏😍
What a humble wonderful man of God Pastor Piper is. Thank you Pastor for sharing the wisdom our Almighty Lord provides you. To God be the glory forever and ever, Amen 🙏
Godless men will forever be weak men.
Men who love the LORD will do as the Lord requires it's pretty simple if you ask me.
Mel amen
Not quite that simple though😳
Your first son is weak.
God is the King of logic He's also one who is direct and straight to the point no in between with Him.If He said to love Him you have to,same thing if He said you will die you will there's no arguing with God.
We shouldn't argue with someone who can't lie
@@mel8469 A man I dont fear will never be a King to me. You kneel to a fake puny King, and i pity you for this. The hand of your so called King has no weight on my shoulder.
I came across this I shared it with so many wives.
Then you have shared demonic lies. The proper God-ordained order is, despite Piper's lie, Kids submit to and be instructed by parents, wife submits to and is instructed by the Husband as to God, and the Husband submits to and is instructed by God. You are trying to do God's job and you suck at it and are complaining that God is not doing his job well enough. Repent and the fighting will end.
This is exactly what I needed
Ladies I prayed and it WORKS!! Bow on your knees covering your feet and head like Moses and ASK. Fast if you have too because it works faster. YIPPIE!! Hubby cant see it, Pastor too focused on the men being the head. GO TO GOD THROUGH CHRIST. He sees it, he knows it, he understands it, and he is "no respecter of persons". Please do yourself a big favour, Go to the ultimate authority and you will never complain about your husband again even if you coke has no ice.
@ Sally Ironic
God does not tell wives to pray but to be SUBMISSIVE in everything.
@@framboise595 Really? So if you husband told you to have group sex you would? Remember what you just said, be submissive now. No need to go to Christ in prayer. You need to focus on your relationship to Christ, because that is who we should be following and HE is our Saviour.
@@framboise595 Oh and PS God answered my prayers, so HE HEARD ME, and helped me, are you also telling me that God was WRONG in answering my prayers?
@@sallyironic4251
Group sex ? You really think a man who serves the Lord would want to have "group sex" ?
@@framboise595 There are plenty of prophesying Christian men who turn to prostitutes, in fact many preachers are their best customers. Many preachers rape, and steal and do all manners of sin. GET REAL with Christ and STOP WORSHIPPING MEN. Worship Jesus Christ the Son of the LIVING GOD.
As a fiancè with a 3 year old, this hits home lol thank you John
Beautifully said
Amen brother Piper..Amen
Great great advice 👍
thanks for the knowledge
So good thank you😊
Perfect! Sir.
Prayer and patience
Oh thank you and God bless you for this. I was having a pity-party and was so about ready to just say enough is enough... but here we go, words of wisdom being poured out on me and I’m being reminded who I am :). Thank you and God bless you richly!
Except that what Piper said was all lies and folly he proper God-ordained order is, despite Piper's lie, Kids submit to and be instructed by parents, wife submits to and is instructed by the Husband as to God, and the Husband submits to and is instructed by God. Yu are trying to do God's job and you suck at it and are complaining that God is not doing his job well enough. Repent and the fighting will end.
I disagree with you saying that he is wrong. Each has a responsibility of seeking out Christ as individuals to have an independent relationship with our Lord and Savior. We also have a responsibility to stay within our God designed and created roles. Husbands - through love - lead, protect, and provide. Wives, out of love, submit to the headship of the husband. What you are describing is the functionality of roles within the confines of the marriage, for which is a representative of the image of the relationship between Christ and the church. We both are created in the image (likeness and essence) of God; however, in our differences we have different functions.
Thank you
Words of Wisdom 💕
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33
That wife in the example may have been creating the conflict & John gives her a total pass! Yikes!
He says the husband "blew it" but my guess is that was perhaps not the case. How about the woman be thankful that the man got her something at all? Drink it without the ice or the complaint?
Wives in general are better than this, & it grieves me that he set this up as some normal occurrence & that the "solution" was for this poor guy to remember his marching orders next time & get whatever most pleases this woman. How's that conducive to her growth?
Ladies, we have to grow up because it would appear that our credibility with too many men is far lower than it needs to be.
Melissa Haneline
yes, i thought this, too. i have seen both parties act like this and i cringe.
but i think he was just trying to show an example
hallelujah for the truth
I did notice this, and it may be because he puts instruction on men harder given their role as a leaders. Yes, of course a wife should also be forgiving and gentle and thankful, but anyone with an earthly leader or authority of any kind will want the utter best out of them. Just think about how we naturally behave with our own parents, or police, or even presidents when we don’t get what we want. ( I’m not even all that political or taking sides it’s just an analogy) you are both utterly for each other and under the same mission. I’m not trying to defend him, intact i agree that this question was something that should have been answered more towards her. But it was for good intent, for to whom much is given much is required.
@@crosscollisionhope
A wife has to SUBMIT in everything . But of course cowards are harder on men because society hates men and it is very easy to follow society.
Great wisdom in this video, however, I'm not quite sure if it is a flawed cultural interpretation or a divine scriptural interpretation that if a man is dejected about the way he has been spoken to and this affects his performance as a servant leader, that this equates to "sulking" and "self-pity". Is there a biblical mandate for men to be emotionally bulletproof? Or was this just a way to take the edge off the culturally uncomfortable topic of women's specific responsibility?
Head covering is a must in the house of GOD .
I like the anecdote.
Men can put things in the heart. Simply speak
His answer was a husbands responsibility, not the wives.
I missed it... I heard that the husband is supposed to pray, admit fault, be humble when he’s wrong if his wife corrects him... Wife is to pray, point out her husband’s blindspots, and correct her husband? Is that all? I didn’t see how the Christ/Church marriage analogy applies in his answer. Please forgive me being so forward, but it seems that many teachings in Christian circles tend to speak boldly towards husband responsibilities, but not towards those of the wife.... Are wives not also to be confronted on their sins and blindspots?
@ John Michael
But you should not be ashamed to be so forward because there is such a lack of frankness and boldness in modern Christian circles ..may not be too politically correct to address all the evils of modern women .
Actually , women are NOT told about their duties anymore . Where has Titus 2:4 gone ??
In my own church , yet not in the same country as Piper , the teacher focused on how a husband should "love "his wife but not a word on my duties as a wife.
There is an evil feminist spirit screwing the whole western Christianity. I don't want to hear those "pastors" anymore.
He's dealing with the one place where the analogy of Christ and the Church break down. The husband is not sovereign like God, therefore he needs a "helper" fit to support him. He's also showing that even though God is sovereign and in control, he still involves the agency of his church to act.
Therefore women need to act and be dynamic supporters of their husbands. They should have their own relationship with God that leads them to advise their husbands, not just take a back seat.
He dodged the question because he is too afraid.
What is a wife's responsibility in solving marital conflict? I thought this was the question, it has turned out to be whats the husbands responsibility. Can't any question touching how women behavior be answered without mingling men? That's a problem with the society, women are not being told the truth about what is their role in life e.g according to...Proverbs 31:10-31...*17 She is a hard worker, strong and industrious.---Today she is a...fill in the gaps.....not all women though!
Not sure about that..
I agree John piper was supposed to read first Peter chapter 3 verse 1 to 6 and not read verse seven… jcrockett and Ted m, you guys are right, and acharich speaks didn't see it... I would also include Titus 2:3-5... 1 Tim 2: 9-14, 1 Tim 2:14, Genesis chapter 3.... God's punishment to Eve and every women... God's punishment to Adam and every man... God punished Adam for obeying his wife...
He dodged the question because he is evil and serves Satan. He does this way to much for this to be a mistake.
@@tuaregcreative According to numerous passages in the Bible from Genesis 3 on to Eph 5:22-33 and I Peter 3:1-7 the real answer is that she should fully submit to her husband as unto God. If she stops rebelling, the conflict is over. It really is that simple.
Love it
He gets a direct question about a wife's responsibility, and turns it into a mocking, finger-pointing lecture to men about their faults (in this case, a _manufactured_ fault). And he wouldn't even give *that* until he first got defensive over a man being the head of his wife, smh. I kept listening, as he didn't even mention a responsibility; he mentioned two things she "should" do--both of which come from a belief of her being intrinsically "better." I am seeing more direct answers from some of the women in the comment section! How are pastors going to help people have better marriages when they spend 96% of their time and energy emphasizing responsibilities of *only* men?
You are right. If you listen to many of John Piper's videos you will find him almot always in direct opposition to scripture teaching and common sense. This man is Satan's minion on Sheepdog's clothing. He is not a man of God. He always sides with woman and to the destruction of the family.
@@johnbreitmeier3268 Seek God. Read Jesus's words in the new testament
@@des711 des, I found God decades ago. He was not hiding. Exactly what words of Jesus are you referring to. He said many things. I suggest you read Paul's commands on marriage in Eph 5. If a wife is in subnission to her husband there can be no prolonged marital conflict since she will submit to her husband/s leadership. and not argue with him. It really is that simple, 1) Christians marry other Christians. 2) The wife submits to her own husband as God;s representative in her family. 3) The husband leads with love, not perfectly but with good intent.
It is near impossible for a husband to fight with a wife who says and reaaly means, "yes, dear." Our culture has reversed this and chaos has resulted.
Leadership is about initiating with humility, submission and wisdom to show him what she sees
If she's so much better, she should be the leader and not him, don't you think?
The question is about “…a wife’s responsibility in solving marital conflict,” yet the response ends up being about what the man needs to do better, different, etc. Should a husband go sulk because he was shown a lack of gratitude by his wife? No - but neither should he say “I’m sorry, let me try again.” In the example given, her responsibility is to first show gratitude and appreciation for his efforts, adding that she would appreciate ice and reminding him that their child needs a different type of juice. (He also needs to be responsible to remember some simple needs & preferences, because a thoughtful act isn't very thoughtful if it's not with the other persons' needs & preferences in mind).
Too often, however, women are deprived of the feedback they need to improve, and men are told to follow the destructive (even if well-meaning) advice of the sort given here, and the consequence is an absolute plague of narcissistic wives running their marriage and the entire household using methods of guilt and manipulation. I suspect that very few of them are doing so consciously. Most, I think, are actually doing so subconsciously out of habits formed by their poorly instructed husband following the kind of advice being given in this video. Relying on such advice, we reward and reinforce negative behaviors until our wives are narcissistic and self-centered; then we become bitter and resentful, and go “sit and sulk.” Eventually that sulking becomes a divorce, an affair, or worse.
It's past time that we confront the responsibilities of women & wives; not just men & husbands.
This was WONDERful.
+naturallysimple Wonderfully unbiblical .
how?
naturallysimple
How ? This man just circles around and does not give husbands the TOOLS that go hand in hand with an authoritative position in order to rebuke and correct a wife's bad behaviour.
It is as if he told fathers something like :
your son disobeys you , disrespects your authority ? It's OK , take him to Toys Are Us.
That is how you get more and more spoiled children with dysfunctional behaviours.
Same thing for wives .
Isabelle M Wow. I disagree with your point of view. Oh well.
I really liked your answer, God give more and more knowledge to answer all of this questions!! Be bless brother!!
Why does it come down to finding a way to submissively tell your husband he’s wrong? That’s seems to me contradicting. Can we as the church find a way to submissively tell Jesus he’s wrong? I don’t think that would go over too well. You don’t just humbly find ways to cut your husband down a notch. He’s a lot smarter than you give him credit for, just in different ways than the wife. If he’s a godly man he’ll correct his actions as the Holy Spirit convicts him. As far as the soda goes, I think there’s a bit too much neuroticism in someone who gets upset over that. If my wife were to bring me a soda, ice or no ice I would be thankful and drink the darn thing. Who with a healthy mind criticizes someone’s acts of service. That’s probably a big part of what’s wrong with today’s church. If you have someone that cares enough about you to be of service to you (which is what spouses should do) DO NOT take them for granted. You may one day find yourself alone and realize how insignificant you are to everyone else.
Piper's This Momentary Marriage (free on the Desiring God site!) Is outside of the Bible the best book on marriage I have read, & used for further study. It has been extremely helpful & I encourage anyone reading this to go buy or download the book.
Many modem Christian women just don't have this anymore! They see the problems yes but when they pray to God on how to solve them it's very much like this: God make my husband see we need more money and have him work a part time job or overtime but have it be just the right amount and not a penny too much because he still needs to come home and keep me company for 4 hours a day and still sleep in bed with me for atleast 8 hours. The issues is more about expectations being all out of whack a husbands be responsible for way more then they should be. A healthy Christian women should be able to run her home and have help from other family when her man has to be away with not woe is me crying! To much wining with women to much babying then they up and leave her husband for a man that does not give into her crying and complaining. She don't leave him for a man in no apron!
If you're with someone like that, then help her/him fix the problem.
Married in 1987 , my husband and i had 7 children. For years i disobeyed God by refusing to stay away from him during his drug addiction. It hurt me and the children - not physical abuse but financial and emotional abuse definately. He was also involved with other women but i chose to forgive and stand in faith for his deliverance from all that and his conversion. But i was in disobedience by not leaving him completely in Gods hands and waiting patiently from afar. I dragged my children thru so much l9ss and hardship - homelessness and lack. After awhile i became bitter and took the first opportunity to be comforted by another man. ( adultery) i told my husband over the phone that i was going to. I didnt want to be deceitful. How dumb bcause i was being deceitful and sinning against God. So my Husband & i have been apart now for 15 years - we are grandparents now. He claims to be married to someone else but he claimed that the last relationship he was in. But i never got any papers of divorcement. The last time he said he married another - it was annulled soon after on the grounds of him already being married to me ( he hadnt divorced me) Here we are hes 60 now and im in my fifties - and im still hoping our legacy
Ooops accidently tapped the button but the end of my sentence is -- i want family wholeness in Christ. I fully repented years ago and want the live and mercy of God to be displayed by us to our children & grandchildren. He acts like he hates me but i know he is just hurt bcause he thought i would never be with another man. In Gods eyes im forgiven and never have done that. Glory to God forever
@@eileenfisher587 Hello Miss Eileen, I'm hoping you have the love of God restored in your marriage and may he bless your doings always. You have recieved that your heart is right and renewed with God right? then your God shall renew all things according to his riches in glory. if I may be blunt, though, it wasn't that you were being disobedient by staying with him. It was that your heart didn't have true love for him because love endures all things like 1 Corinthians 13 says. Secondly, it was the Devil's deception that caused you to think that you should be apart from him in his time of need. Yes, your children suffered, and yes you struggled, but there is nothing that God cannot heal nor any thing he can't provide. He was hoping you would stand still instead of trying to make your own way. Now, though, you have renewed hope in God and a fresh perspective on the situation and here is all you should do: reconcile. If you are still married than you are still responsible for one another and that means we don't wait until someone is better to try to make it work we go in and we preach the Gospel like never before. We hope and we tryst and we patiently wait for the salvation of the Lord. Or, as an aside, you have all right to ask for a divorce, now that he has consented to go unto others. Your heart though sounds willing to accept him again, so I give you my God's word that there is nothing impossible, including for God to save am unbelieving husband or restore dead or broken things so for decades. Remember the woman with the issue of blood was sick 15 years before she was found by Jesus. Yet she was restored and that in abundance of the life and joy and inclusion of Christ with himself because God called her a daughter
@@xavierthomas5835You have a real self righteous tone about you. The woman admitted she made mistakes and no one is perfect.
Please pray for my husband Jeremy. He has bipolar disorder and is in a very dark place. He has become bitter and angry. He has been saying he wants to give up on life. He is a believer but he has quit going to church and reading the Bible. He says he can no longer hear Gods voice and is lost. He's making financial mistakes that are concerning me. We have a young son who needs his daddy to be okay again. Please pray for him. Thank you for your prayers ♡
I feel like the question in the heading is not the question he answered, or maybe it's just me
What is a wife's responsibility in solving marital conflict? I thought this was the question, it has turned out to be whats the husbands responsibility. Can't any question touching how women behavior be answered without mingling men? That's a problem with the society, women are not being told the truth about what is their role in life e.g according to...Proverbs 31:10-31...*17 She is a hard worker, strong and industrious.---Today she is a...fill in the gaps.....not all women though!
@@tuaregcreative 👀👀👀
He didn't address the question at all. His entire response was about what men are to do, and nothing about women.
Why is he so afraid of women?
Because they pay him. He is also Satan's man, not God's. Most everything he says is in opposition to scripture. What he should have said i "submit to your husband. Quit fighting him and the fight will be over immediately."
Wow!!
I agree on the response in that a Husband should lead and overcome the offense and not sulk, but Im amazed that He did not address the ungratefulness and disrespect that the wife showed the husband, especially when she disrespected him publicly. I feel that too many tiptoe around anything that is confrontational to women. Truth is there is an epidemic of irresponsible men that don't Love their wives as they should and don't lead their families spiritually or otherwise, but there also is an epidemic of women that don't respect, value or honor there husbands. Word needs to be done on both side. Its not only WHAT is said, but he WAY it is said. I would argue that both are equally important. What good is truth without love?
The only flavor they had was grapefruit juice. The ice machine was broken. The divorce is imminent.
And the husband will be far better off.
Piper and the art of beating around the bush
John 'the politician' Piper dodges a hard question once again!
He is not just beating around the bush, he is deliberately turning the truth inside out and lyyind as his father the devil does. The proper God-ordained order is, despite Piper's lie, Kids submit to and be instructed by parents, wife submits to and is instructed by the Husband as to God, and the Husband submits to and is instructed by God. Wives are trying to do God's job and they suck at it and are complaining that God is not doing his job well enough. Repent and the fighting will end.
I have yet to master the submissive way to tell a man he is wrong and have him humbly respect it.... 😕
Same, sis.
Don't worry about that, just do your part and allow the Lord to do the rest.
"Without FAITH it is impossible to please God".
You have, however, completely mastered the art of absolute lack of self awareness.
I’ve almost never hear or observe a women try to be submissive.
Its so hard when you have been treated wrongly by your husband or want better treatment (the Way You feel loved), and when he doesnt do it, how do you tell him or not tell him at all. Maybe submission here would mean to just pray and let God deal with him..its hard if your hurting and want to solve the issue
Depends on HER understanding or believed.
Is Piper still making these videos? How can I ask a question?
+John Forcey The only thing is that he has been known by so many people by now that he cannot answer all of us any more. But there should be many as (both theologically and character-wise) qualified pastors in your area as He is. Please let me pray for you so that you can find more meaningful fellowship than asking him online -- because Dr. Piper may not know where your question comes from very well if without knowing you through personal relationship with you.
I think so, check the Desiring God website..
@@acharich
Full of feminist heresies . Great site indeed lol
It seems that woman have swapped place with God.
Enjoy !
Wow
The account describing the husband getting the wrong beverages for his family is completely backwards in its logic.
“Men today are expected to have 100% responsibility in relationships, but 0% authority”-Rollo Tomassi
@ John Alba
It is clearly the work of Satan
@@framboise595 Right as usual, Isabelle. Can people not read what the Bible says?
I have to agree. There has to be a sense of compassion from the wife in this situation... imagine being a husband and watching football upstairs and asking for your wife to bring you something cool to drink only to get a warm drink. The results would not go like this neither would it be consider that she needs to correct the drink. In fact it would suggest he is demanding, over the top, and has no sense of consideration for her efforts.
Yeah ever since I heard that Ive thought Piper is a huge simp. My opinion has not changed. lol
@@academision
The way he panders to women , the sex first in rebellion , is appalling .
wisdom to listen,
Gentleness to reaction...:))
what do you do when your wife says 'because i told you that is why you do it and if not you will not' when you humble yourself and do it when she reminds or mention to you?
@ josloh
You don't let her rule over you if you are not a beta man .
If you are , let her rule and do the opposite of God's will .
@@framboise595 thank you. You sure you are a lady replying? Sorry don't mean anything personal but your response seems like from a male response. In anyways I appreciate your comment and advice
@@InjoyTech
Thanks.
It seems like from a male response because I'm using the Bible and the Bible is certainly the manliest book ever.
Last advice : a man should humble himself before Christ. Not before a woman , let alone his.
It's devastating. Women don't respect such men who don't resist them a little.
He already provides for her and protects her. What else does she want ?
@@framboise595 thank you and will keep going back to Jesus 😁
@@InjoyTech
We are living in a psychological hell now. Those female-dominated societies are just awful.
You are blessing me with your Godly counsels
I will forever ask. What should happen here?
"she likes ice" - I will remember that one John
That woman was an ungrateful fool. She was insisting on being in charge. Piper is a liar.
John piper is a man of God 🤍🙏 bless him
Wow JeffersonDinedAlone...
This is so hard since my husband even questions my being biblical and Godly.. What to do with his narcissistic traits? Im tired
@@loveoflife709 sorry ,I juz knew about his faith late..I'm a late bloomer Christian..and I asked God to forgive me of not praying and consulting Him about whom to marry
@@rizzamaycanonero8016 alright, I wish you best, sister in Christ ^_^
If a wife is submitting to her husband as the bible instructs her to, will their really be any marital conflict?
Nonsense, you always seem to change the word just slightly to make it sound good.... Scripture doesn't say it's Christ and then wife it says Christ then husband then wife...
Not sure why all these people are arguing in the comments, but I just wanted to say that, as a God-fearing wife, this has really helped me! It's a great reminder for me to be gentle, humble, and loving when approaching my husband about an issue, and I just love videos like this that help marriages from the Christian perspective. Thank you :)
Respect and obey
"Fie, fie! unknit that threatening unkind brow,
And dart not scornful glances from those eyes,
To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor:
It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads,
Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds,
And in no sense is meet or amiable.
A woman mov'd is like a fountain troubled,
Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty;
And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty
Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it.
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee,
And for thy maintenance commits his body
To painful labor both by sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe;
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks and true obedience;
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
And not obedient to his honest will,
What is she but a foul contending rebel
And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
I am ashamed that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace;
Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway,
When they are bound to serve, love and obey. "
Shakespeare , Taming of the Shrew Act 5 scene 2
This is what should be said to an ungrateful wife who seeks for rule , war and supremacy instead of kneeling for peace.
I don't know if Shakespeare was Christian , but what he put in the mouth of his character Catharina is 100% biblical ..and suppressed by the church system , isn't it Mr Piper ?
What was Sapphira's responsibility in her marriage to Ananias? What was Ananias's responsibility in his marriage to Sapphira? What was the responsibility of any underage and/or adult children who may have been part of Sapphira and Ananias's marriage to both their parents and to their neighbors at the time too? I have thought about those questions without resentment and fear whenever reading the bible passage in Luke 9:48. Is the only reason I do not fear when reading that passage because I can say that I came from a working class family or what? Since I cannot explain my own feelings fully then I have no right to explain the nature of someone else's feelings during their entire life.
i guess you missed the part where it says the temple of God is made without human hands.
I have just begun to truly look deeper into submission of a Christian wife, and I so strongly dislike it. Not because I disagree with it, but because it is so bloody hard to submit, especially for someone incredibly stubborn and proud like me.
Yes I agree I trip up in when he is throwing at me Al ways I not a godly wife. While I am Sharing What God has done for me. Husband acts like I trying to outdo him, I m grieving my husband not seeing and acts Ike God would not talk to me and it’s in you head. Or I didn’t understand. Insidious
Don't let yourself be swayed by his anger and vile attitude because it is God who judges our hearts and our minds and our souls
@@xavierthomas5835
Any man can recognise easily if his wife is worthy or not.
Please just take a look at the man in Proverbs 31 and see if he does not praise his wife for being a godly woman.
@@framboise595 You don't know what manner of spirit your are of, do you? Do you recognize that the Fatehr has called the least things as though they were the greatest? And the poor as though they were rich? JAH himself has said that the least shall be called the greatest. Yet you would say that a man is worthy to judge this woman? Go and ask your husband if he will save you and let you into heaven, and then come and tell me again if he will save you. He is a breath away from death every moment and you would laud him like this? Cease from man, whose breath is in his nostrils, and his mind in the lower parts of the Earth. Blessed is the man whose hope is in the Lord, for he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, bearing his fruit in due season, and plenteously rewarded for his proud doing.
@@xavierthomas5835
You must love Piper so much as you dodge the topic as much as he does.
In Proverbs 31 , it is the husband -and the sons who call the wife blessed .
It is the husband who trusts her because she is trustworthy.
It's all about the husband first since the woman was made for the man , and not the man for the woman as Piper and plenty of liars preach today .
So he does have a right to judge her conduct towards him. This is perfectly scriptural. What is not however is the way piper and co encourage wives to judge their husbands and usurp their authority.
But those wolves are nothing but feminists in "complementarian " guise. They preach the "he for she "feminist abomination. Not the godly she for he .
But what do I do when my husband is combative, condescending and defensive, no matter how submissive or lovingly I bring anything up? I’m praying. That’s all I can do.
i'm sorry, i just realized you were being sarcastic with that remark.
Piper u r an amazing person !!! amen :-D from a single girl !!!
And if you listen to Piper you will remain a single girl. Piper is a satanic liar. he proper God-ordained order is, despite Piper's lie, Kids submit to and be instructed by parents, wife submits to and is instructed by the Husband as to God, and the Husband submits to and is instructed by God. Yu are trying to do God's job and you suck at it and are complaining that God is not doing his job well enough. Repent and the fighting will end.
Did John Piper take a break? How is he still making these videos? Not that I don't like them, just curious.
Those who sling 1 Peter 3:1-7 in the comments don't have a problem with Piper but with their own manhood
" I am ashamed that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace;
Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway,
When they are bound to serve, love and obey. "
Shakespeare Taming of the Shrew Act V scene II
Perfect illustration of 'marital conflict'
Obedience is not the same as submission. They have different meanings in Greek and English. And there is a tendency to forget Paul's admonition in Ephesians "as unto the Lord". There's a caveat here. "As unto the Lord" is required by both spouses." The whole passage in context also includes the need, the necessity, at times for mutual submission. "The Taming of the Shrew, while a Shakespearean play, reminds us that a Christian wife should NOT be a shrew, if she is submitted to Jesus 1st. If she persists in such behavior, please see my comment about personality disorders.
congradulations! This means you've passed the test and are a child of light and will recieve the anointing to be taught by the Christ and have the coded meanings unveiled for you. If not, too bad-you fell for the parable that was given to decieve those who are without and have wickedness in their hearts because they had no problem believing evil things about God and show themselves quite glaringly to those who have found the key of knowlege and entered within. Your choice, who's your dady
So funny how the question is about what a "wife" should do and it turns into what the husband should do lol....sigh 🤦♂️
The husband should lead. In vision, execution, and example 🤗
With that being said I think he's oversimplifying the coke/juice example. There might be a backstory there and the wife might be extremely difficult to satisfy. Or perhaps Piper is right (after a fashion) and the best way to teach your wife is to serve first (even when she is being demanding and unreasonable) so she will listen to you, watch you, and wonder why you are serving.
She is seeing you wake up every morning and praying right? She is hearing you always talk about the importance of 'you' living God's will and purpose for your life above your own wants and desires right?
Read: Laura Doyle
First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors and then put it into
practice.
@@TimothyGott nope, just don't marry an insubordinate woman and cry about it 😂
Everything is not necessarily prayer, a simple counseling can save your marriage from hell, my home was once a hell on Earth until I came across Dr. Gbenga on RUclips who gave me counsel on what to do, since September 23, 2020 till date, my home has been peaceful and I live happily with my wife.
As a "responder" and "follower" it is not the wife's responsibility in solving marital conflict. But, as a Christian, it IS her responsibility to be Christlike. Meaning, asking forgiveness when necessary, repenting, and loving her husband with a fearful respect.
@Deb Harris 😅😅😅
Read first Peter chapter 3:1-6, Titus 2:3-5, 1 Tim 2:9-14, Genesis chapter3... Let the scriptures speak, not acharich, or piper...
When a husband is not obeying the word of God, that is a marital conflict .... Win your husband... A winning wife Wins for life, 1 pet 3:1-6
@@saulcuello9622
Marital conflicts come from wives because they do not submit . That's all.
@ Michael Sayen
It is her duty to SUBMIT but she does not and of course plenty of modern cowards disguised as "pastors" won't tell her to do so .
Actually it is the Sound Doctrine that is being willfully overlooked and disliked as predicted by Paul 200 years ago.
What do those "pastors" fear ? The first Christians feared the lions yet they were courageous. Modern "pastors" do not have lions to fear but they fear women ? !!! What a joke !
To get lost , they are more than likely the conflict .
@jrswordfish1 and sorry if i offended you. again i thought you were coming from a Christian point of view and saying what's in the bible isn't true. and Merry Christmas to you too!
I love John Piper. The overspiritualization in Christianity can be rampant though. Sometimes it are the police, sometimes a counselor, the relatives, a separation etc. ways along with prayers out of marital problems though. Love Mark Gangor when it comes down to such questions. Blessings.
What if he doesn’t think he ever does anything wrong? What if he isn’t receptive? What if he doesn’t lead spiritually as he should? Coke without ice…really? This is a serious question about marital problems.
These guys always assume that the man is always the problem, and that the wife always has the answers that the man has to submit to and that’s called leadership 🤦♂️
The problem is that some women today don’t appreciate what is provided for them and even if he goes to get what was missing, she sees it not as servant leadership but that he is her pet. Guys pay better attention to your woman, and women be more graceful towards your man.
Women today scorn their husbands because no woman can respect a man who serves her .
The servant leadership junk is a work of the devil .
Getting a Coke for your wife in the first place??? COKE!