Giving Feedback

As leaders, one of the best ways to grow ourselves and others around us is by giving and receiving feedback. Feedback helps us to grow, to become more aware, to become more efficient and to innovate.
But many of us struggle with feedback: we give too little, too late, we forget to mention the positive and we leave the negative for the annual performance review.
Why is giving feedback so hard? Often, we fear we will damage the relationship if we are too critical. We fear it won’t change anything and for most of us, feedback is not considered part of the normal workflow, meaning we have to stop our actual work in order to focus on giving feedback.
When giving feedback, it’s good to consider that:
● The only feedback we can give is our feelings and experiences. There are many subjective perspectives. And, however strongly we feel about our point of view, it’s difficult to point to one source of truth. It’s therefore better to express the feedback as how we experienced something.
● We grow the most from feedback when we feel comfortable and cared for. People take feedback personally if they don’t feel safe. As a result, their amygdala - the lizard brain - takes over and reduces the feedback into a fight or flight response. No rational argument will stand when this happens. So, it’s important to create a safe environment when giving feedback.
● When we suggest how to do something, we run the risk of forcing our way of doing things on people who have a different style. While sometimes there are best practices, we must allow the person receiving the feedback to find their own methods of working.
● Finally, feedback is not just about things that don’t go well. As a matter of fact, research shows that positive feedback works best to improve performance.
So, what are good ways to give feedback? At THNK, we use two different methods depending on what you want to give feedback on. If it’s behavior you’re seeking to address try this method: Start by telling the other the behavior you observed.
Then tell them what that makes you feel and wait for their reaction. Ask many questions and get them thinking and talking. By doing this you will make them responsible for the behavior change and allow them to come up with their own method of getting there. Make sure to review your conversation so that the next steps are clear for everyone.
If it’s feedback about a product or output, consider giving a good note originally developed at Pixar Animation Studios: Tell people “what works/doesn't work for you” and explain why. Then, to help them along in the process, make a suggestion and see what the response is like.
So what kind of feedback do you need to give most urgently? To whom? And how will you create a safe environment for it?
For this and other perspectives on growing your leadership visit @www.thnk.org
Narrated by Christina Williams
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Additional written content by Bechara Abi Assi (www.thnk.org/c...)
Animation by Sarah Nguyen
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Written and Directed by Rod Ben Zeev
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Executive Produced by Mark Vernooij
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