Sometimes worse!! Grass always greener even crab grass .. The myth of self importance the teaching of buddha is to be egoless . most people are egotistical i guess thats what amerikas about the me me me Generation which really no fault of their own selfishness is the new norm. When is the last time you helped a random stranger and dont expect any thing cleaned up after your self at a restaurant so the waiterss or busser would have a easier time. Society is really going. Down no Self displine. You go to to a public I am scared to touch anything need i say more...........
Tasheri girl when I tell black mothers can be toxic!!!! My mother would wear my clothes and bring strange men in her home that would try to sleep with me. I’m out the house now and I’m with a guy that takes me traveling and he put me in a nice home. & she tried so hard to destroy it but the funny thing is she has no control anymore.
My pick me mom would actually get angry and berate me when I would break up with dusty abusive men. It was like she resented me for having the strength that she didn’t.
Angel Nicole so close to home for me right now....I’m about to move out of state leave my entire craptastic fam....giving zero shits...these people don’t fully love us sis....moms n dads included
@@omphilemoerane2569 She probably never wanted that fool..LOL That's why she got engaged so fast....Probably was just using him...He stays getting used by "other" women...lol
Deborah Samson But also know it’s okay to be alone if there’s no good man because it’s not about just finding another man but finding your peace and respect.
Me too! I didn’t sleep in the middle of the bed and still stayed on my side for months but now I’m in the middle, I’m stretched out and sleeping wonderfully! Thanks you Jesus.
I will keep listening to this. Dated my ex for years. He told me I no longer had any leverage in the relationship. I left him and he’s been begging me to talk to him for the last 18 months. I realized I had the ultimate leverage: the ability to leave. I did and never looked backed.
@@ClaireHaire darling even with your baby, I'll leave your a$$ when you start to be disrespected,and messing around etc.....No jokes.(even if I'm broke )I know my value and won't allow nobody even my blood siblings to wronged me.
Remember ladies you don't keep investing in something that has not paid you any interest...you cut your losses and find another investment which should now be yourself.
Walked away from a very successful man after dating him for 3 months and finding out he was married. He was very good to me. He paid my bills and took me on a couple of trips. He was able to hide it because he travels a lot. I don’t do married men. I will never be part of another woman’s pain. I am not your play thing. He is still trying to contact me. Put I don’t respond. It’s been five months now.
I am so glad that you made this decision I know so many woman that wouldn’t care if he was married as long as they are benefitting. These men are very sneaky! A lot of times the other women just don’t know.
Keep your standards.....you can be heartbroken over a man...that was close but if you stay in that place too long you’ll miss on a man that meets all your standards
Broke up with this guy, he just didn’t see me as a prize and was not doing the most for me. Comes over yesterday to beg me back, and this video pops up!!! I took him back and the moment he left I regretted taking him back. Something was screaming out to me, could not make out what it was saying. I just woke up now opened up my RUclips and this video was right there with the “play” sign. Before I even pressed play I called him to tell him I made a mistake and I don’t want him back. I finally know now what the voice was saying, it was screaming out that better is on the way. I’m 26 and I’m donnnnnnneee with these dusty men!!!
Honestly, the reason why I have so many standards is bc of my mom. She’s always has been very feminine, positive and zero tolerance. Show me a woman and I’ll tell you who her mother is.
I agree for the most but the last sentence is not always the case. My mother has been with dusties all her life & still is. Seeing this shit go down in my own household is the reason why I choose not to go down the same road.
Years ago, my mother's friend said she broke up with a dude in college because he asked her for money to get his layaway out. She said she really liked him too. At the time, I didn't understand but now I do...
I just got the strength to walk away from my second fiancé a week ago. Im 26. This gives me hope, the first refused to keep a job , my last was toxiccccc and textbook abusive. I need to rebuild myself again.
It’s the Hardest thing to do!! And it’s not taught it is learned. Let go. You will be ok sistas❤️ And yes be hot and cold. Never show your true feelings to these dusty men. And when it’s not right I move on so quick and don’t look back. Don’t need to
Walking away is entering the unknown, something a lot of people struggle with understandably. It's hard to leave what you're comfortable with even if you shouldn't be comfortable with it. But it's when we enter new territories that we experience tremendous growth and our new lives continue.
Confidence is silent....insecurities are loud...I love your channel...always well thought out! Chloe I love your channel! Self-love is the best Love ❤️
Juuust this morning I had to give someone I really care about the peace sign. Putting myself first and knowing my worth however, doesn't make hurt less.
You must walk away from Toxicty,period,I would rather be by myself than unhappy with a person that does not know how to treat you properly......I am the prize....
I never skip adds for your vids you deserve to get your coin because your hardworking and bring out great content. I really benefited from your channel
Girl me too. I'm the queen of walking away as soon as I see red flags. PPL stuck in toxic situations try to clown me for it and say I "give up too easy" or that I'm "dating 50 men". At first it bothered me but not anymore. Those miserable ppl just want my company. I know in the end I will have what I deserve and be happy.
Yes, but know how!!!! I'm about to devorce my husband, but I'm preparing, moving money, reviewing my finances, getting more certifications. He thinks all is good, but I'm mentally, emotionally DONE...
I actually walked away from my dusty ex a couple months ago after almost 9yrs. During that time I worked on myself as well. He didn’t have goals. It was driving me nuts! I listed to a podcast that talked about “giving till you get sick” and I was so done. I told him I turned 30 and didn’t see him being the father of my kids! After listening to you and other women relationship coaches I’ve been working on my femininity and long behold, it freaking works. I have a guy that I met through work flying me this weekend to come meet him. He has also planned to take me to a concert in New York and bought pretty nice tickets so we can sit up closer to the stage. I also started talking to another guy who just bought a Lamborghini and he also wants to take me out! I am SO HAPPY I CHANGED THE WAY I LOOK AT MYSELF AND THE WORLD! Law of attraction and femininity are working 💁🏻♀️👼🏻! By the way I am latina, but I honestly appreciate everything u talk about bc in my culture women are also made to feel they have to carry everything and everyone on their shoulders and still have a smile on your face! Machismo is huge in our culture so I love and appreciate all u do for us women! Literary feel so much love for u!
Self love is my fav topic. Once you learn how to love and value yourself, you become limitless and you automatically attract who you are: that includes Mr.Right, the right friends, the right opportunities and so on. That is the best investment you will ever make.
Walking Away is powerful! I finally did that after this guy dragged me along for 6 months....and God shook me and told me that He didn't create me to chase and tear myself up for a man. The most defining moment of my life.
When you embrace the idea that YOU ARE THE PRIZE!!!!!!!!!!! And any man that attempts to step into your life MUST meet your standards, providing for you protecting you and securing you and your future generations. It's easy as hell to accept nothing less. LEAVE THEM FAILURE MEN/DUSTY MEN/ BROKE MEN ALONE SIS.
Glad I’ll never be pathetic enough to dislike a video encouraging women to love her existence and elevate her standards. Thanks for your upload Chloe 🥰
I walked away In dec blocked him AND moved got a new number ... he found me came running back in feb and thought he was here to say ...blocked him and cut him off again because he was repeating the same behavior... I love to cut people off COLD TURKEY
Wow!!! This video was 10/10 and i needed it today. I’ve been dealing with the guilt of leaving my ex...I need to put myself first and just trust that better is coming!!!!
Alyssa Harris I read a quote that said when you take the trash out you don’t leave it at the door cause it stinks. But like you I struggle with the guilt of cutting toxic people out. I got some advice that said if someone is making you miserable you’re not responsible for their feelings 💞
I left my husband today. I’m so upset but I know it’s what was needed for myself. This video makes me feel so much better I can’t even tell you. Thank you thank you thank you 🙏🏻
I can say I am proud of what I have become. Just about every woman on my moms side of the family are broken from dusty men, domestic abuse and wasted youth and drained from a Man who really didn’t care about them. I refuse to be that. I want to become the opposite and be the prize and break the cycle 💯❤️
Shout out to all the women here breaking generational curses! I am on a mission too. Sometimes its hard due to heavy programing from childhood but I am teaching myself new behaviour day by day. I just know if I stick to it, nature will make it automatic habit.
I walked away after 14 years... we co-parent our 3 children. I feel awesome! The universe sends me messages that confirms I’m on the right path... I can also feel it in my heart that I made the right decision. 🙌🏽
It's easy to walk away once you get rid of what makes you feel insecure for me it was my hair👧🏾,unevenskin tone,and clothes👖 so I changed that and instantly got better also get clarity on why you have low self esteem and mental problems therapists channels on youtube helped me so much
I just wish I knew this woman 10-15 years ago. I walked away finally. I am now in the process of weight loss, confidence building, and raising my value. I will not make a mistake like this again. I am more than worthy of a real man, and I wish my parents would have taught me how to embrace my femininity, instead of teaching me how to be a masculine. I was the nice girl, low maintenance, easy as pie. My vocabulary word for 2020 is "NO". I've been the giver, and now I'm learning to be a reciever.
When my mom passed away a few days after my ex accused me of cheating and told me if this wasn’t working I can leave. When he came from work the next day I pack Everything. Before my new place was finish painting I was out. He my ex was sleeping with his cousin friend🙄. Boy bye my momma is gone you sir will not treat me like shit. Two years later I have a wonderful husband and a 🏠. Now, lesson that I learned is that if you can’t be there for me during tuff times you serve no purpose. I used to ask my friends with kids if your child bring home him/her because you want to fight and argue al the damn time you have no one to blame because that is YOU hun
You speak the truth! Watching my grandmother, mother and aunts put up with cheating and mistreating and secret babies all my life as if thats all they deserved...I very nearly did the same. Thank the sense in my head!!! I walked away before I got stuck trying to make a diamond out of a dusty, like so many black women feel they should. Breaking the cycle means showing my future daughters, we are worth more than this.
I was in a 13 year relationship 19-32 hurt to let go but I had too tired of self sacrificing myself for his benefit. We have a beautiful 7 year old daughter but I want nothing to do with him anymore. I had to leave
Why did you leave and why did it took you that long? I am thinking about leaving my boyfriend ive been with from 17 to 28. We have one daughter together. Its a 50 50 relationship. But i earn more money working less hours. He earn less working sometimes 6 to 7 days a week. Has borrowed my money a couple of times. He still owes me a lot of money.
Sorry ladies men don't love, they are naturally selfish. Your ability to dust your shoes and leave is highly invaluable. Also grow an internal scale to know when a man's "infatuation" has begun to cool.... and skip away.
Tasheri so true because it has nothing to do with women most of the time its just who the dusty man is. The problem is we look at ourselves as lacking something or not being good enough when the man fails to commit
@Star n' Stripes /////// for men it comes naturally that's why there are more cases of boyfriends and husbands hitting on their women's friends, sisters, aunts etc. A man will always look out for his best interests while you play good loyal down ass chiq.
Star n' Stripes /////// I believe she’s saying men love differently they DO NOT love the way we love. You’ll know a Mans love by how much he provides and protects . I’ve heard countless men tell me this . That is why they buy their wives those huge rings it’s a symbol of his love so in some what she’s correct they love physical not emotional
I just left a relationship that wasant adding a damn thing to my life. I couldn’t get this man to even hold a conversation with me I’m sick of it. I went back once I saw it wasant working I walked away with poise and dignity. He hasn’t heard a peep from me in two weeks. I love it
A lot of immigrant mothers don’t support divorce options for their daughters. It’s seen as shameful. I’ve seen so many women in my culture who literally never smile.
Make a silent exit strategy and plan plan plan. Do not announce your plans. In the meantime work on your mind...that is going to be key because he has your mind really...hearts can be mended and minds can be strengthened. See a counselor it will help identify your fears...your only afraid of the unknown because you doubt yourself...trust me once you remove fear, the sky is the limit.
My white female co worker is a bob the builder/ pick me. She is in her 50's and I feel so bad because I KNOW what is coming, and she has no clue. She was a beautiful young lady who married for love, had two kids, works full time. Has arguments with her dusty when she asks to go to the mall, she never gets pretty and talks about how her husband would complain if she went out to get items to enhance her beauty. She says that he is so far ahead of her - she cant keep up, he asked a young hot woman to be his aid at his school, which she will be working at soon. I told my co worker about Betty Broderick This is can happen to any color women with any color man. LISTEN TO HER. Never again. My family calls me mean, rude, stuck up, white, bourgeouis, ugly. They want me to be mammys to grown a$$ dusty men in the family. I refuse. And I am now the beautiful black sheep of my own eden, getting everything I deserve.
If your a pick me or bob the builder at age 40 (my age) your gonna probably is regret that in the future old people years....I’ll stay single...keep the TV off until I meet a match
I'm learning to love myself and make better decisions for myself. Walking away is very difficult especially when you're invested but when you do it's so worth it. Too many times I've settled for struggle love and situationships but no more I'm done with that foolishness. I know now that I do deserve real love from a man of quality. I'm working on me to prepare for that man and beautiful family I'm going to have☺🙏🏾💕
I truly appreciate your videos!! I’m a 33year old, single, black women. I can honestly say I’ve always was in situations with men that I’ve treated men like the prize instead of valuing myself to walk away. Growing up my mother never had conversations with me about what I should expect from men because she was being abused by my father! I just grew up knowing I I wouldn’t tolerate a man physically abusing me but I stayed in numerous situations that I wasn’t being valued or being appreciated. Even though I’m late in my journey of truly leveling up, I’m optimistic about my future because I never had true direction until now. Thank you!
I am 32 and just this year started my feminine journey. A lot can happen in a year. When I look back at just my body it is a HUGE difference what I have accomplished in my physique and eating habits. Persistence and commitment are key.
Came here after I found out my crush has a girlfriend 😅. I have to let him go and walk away from my fantasies about him🙃. Thank you so much for this master piece ❤.
I got a ex from my past from the 1995 era...we reconnected this year and dated for 6 months.....Can’t marry me..(trust fund kid thats never grown up) mamas boy
Just walked away from a relationship that isn’t what I want. He was good but not great. There were issues and I can do better. Watching this video makes me feel better about this decision
Wow. My dad never let me learn to think for myself. When I had a thought in something or disagreement with him he would strong arm me or laugh at me. I can't believe I had to have all this time to think for myself
I moved away from all my family at 25. Older people I worked with right away, told me I'm sheltered because I carried with me standards my family put on me. I moved by myself to two states, and grew so much. I'm back with family now to pay off my student loans... and its so hard to talk with them because they have such old fashioned beliefs. I'm finally making my own decisions instead of listening to others. I can't wait to be debt free, save, and travel or live somewhere else again 🔥🙌🏽
I had to walk away emotionally first. I walked away from their praise or criticism, their desires or demands. Once I made their opinion irrelevant emotionally, it was then so easy to do that physically. Then you won't be apt to posting on social media to get a reaction from them. They will just be gone but in your mind, you were Gone Already--- Faith Evans
“Completely responsible” is my next level up focus. No longer reactive or baited to emotional puppeteering in 2020. Able to respond implies knowledge and choice. Throw a dash of patience in the sauce.
Out of all my years on youtube, this is hands down the best channel I have ever subscribed to you. You are doing God's work! This channel gave me the courage to finally get rid of my ex bf of 5 years who was the biggest dustbunny and constantly dragging me down. I struggled with walking away from men and not taking care of my looks. But no more. I will continue to invest in myself because I know that the best version of me will change a mans life. Thank u Chloe!
I had an emotionally abusive male best friend. My family adore him and would say, "y'all will get married one day, you guys are in love!" mind you, he showed BLANTANT signs of being manipulative and abusive signs and traits. After 14 years and therapy I cut him out of my life. My mother would throw our breakup in my face and that it was my fault why me and him weren't friends. It would hurt because It was confusing for me because I knew he was abusive and I told her she was abusive but somehow she was telling me that I should be okay with that and accept it to keep him in my life - haha. She's a HUGE pick me
This vid is right on time..wrote on my tumblr this morning that “I’ve walked away from so many people, places, and things..I have no regrets”. I know exactly who I am and what I want so every choice I make need to be aligned with that.Thanks 💖
The seals cake was privileged when it slipped in the pool but the car pushed it in furthermore also n or get pin n burst ants overgrown honey filled abdomen causing chaos n confusion in all its surroundings forcing creature into submission bringing shame to all who get graced by it's presence
Your wisdom is divine! I am grateful for your channel and the fundamental truths you tell. Not just about how we as women should relate to men, but also about our own self-love, worth and respect. THANK YOU SO MUCH! You are such a light in these dark times!!❤️❤️💖💓
I'm listening to your videos on repeat because in order to change the subconscious mind we need to repeat so many times until it becomes automatic. once the subconscious mind is reprogrammed, your life shifts completely. thank you Chloe for everything you do.
This is a great video Chloe. I think that bw are beat down on a daily basis which is why on some level they don't know how to move away from it. Just know bw you are enough. Repeat that to yourself daily. And ladies, please stop entertaining negative things that do not serve you, such as music, people (family/friends), environments, relationships, social media outlets etc. When you are leveling up, its not just your outer appearance you should tending to you have to cultivate your mind and protect it. It reminds me of those people that get weight loss surgery but they have not addressed the negative relationships they have with food so they put the weight back on. You can lap band your body but if you haven't lap banded your mind, you will find yourself back at square one. Ladies I know we think we are strong but on a subconscious level entertaining ideas and things that do not add value into your life is affecting you more than you realize. I don't listen to or entertain anything that does not uplift me or make me better as a bw. Receiving negativity from anywhere is sabotaging your success in all areas of your life. And when you walk away, you don't have to make a public service announcement. Surprise the world by your level of success, higher standards, femininity and self-confidence.
Vanessa yep i have cut out alot of stuff myself. I only listen to rap music during workout because it keeps me aggressive to complete it but i don’t listen or watch anything that beats us down. The black youtube mess I stopped watching all that too. Only channels like this that build us up. Reality tv i laid that to rest a few years ago women acting thirsty like hoes and arguing not for me because i dont act like that.
'I wish I could have watched this video years ago' is a common comment I read under your videos. A lot of us have sold ourselves short to win the hearts of men in the past . But that time is up! Thank you for your content, it gives me hope that it's a new dawn for women❤💅🏾👸🏾
I’m having a hard time moving on, I was in three years relationship, he took me for granted and it’s my fault, I’m very nice and soft - when he started to not take time with me I looked at the positive and asked him why, he used to always tell me babe I know I’m not giving you my time but work is hectic and I’m sorry, forgive me and things like that, I believed those words because I’m soft . It got to the point where he don’t apologise for it and one of the last days I spoke to him - I remember him saying I ask too many questions blabala - no I’m not I want to see if you’re still interested I mean I can see you aren’t but a part of me can’t let go, I want to cut him I haven’t spoke to him for a month, I said no to be intimate with him and he completely disregarded me acting hurt, I’m hurt and I have been for three years yet I can’t find the courage to forget him I’m pissed with myself at this point. I think I vented a bit
I’m currently in a relationship where I fell off on my self care and doing things to make me happy. I decided to go back to school and haven’t had time to pick up hours at my job but to my surprise my fiancée has taken up all the financial responsibilities. I didn’t expect how happy he seems to be taking on all of it. I’m a lil nervous about it because I’ve never been in this position before but I noticed I’ve been seeking out my feminine nature. Been working on getting in shape and buying make up, smell goods.....I remember as a kid. Preteen. My aunt told me feminism is NOT for black women. I didn’t understand that until now. I will be teaching my daughter to stay in tune with her femininity and to avoid broke dusties!!!
I had to recently walk away from a dead end relationship and I can honestly say it feels like a weight lifted of me! I know God gave me the strength to do it because of the peace I have now in my life🙌🏽🙏🏽
I overstayed my welcome. I really really really stayed way longer than I should have. I looked at it like I've invested 2 years in this man. I can't go back out there and start all over. Until he did the unthinkable then I was out. Fuck that.
Just want to tell you. I love your content. I am a 44 yo only child whose mother had no interest in teaching me ANYTHING!. She provided and took care of all my needs which I am very thankful, but the information you are blessing these young women with is so valuable.
I definitely have a problem with walking away, im in a toxic relationship, I can't seem to pull out. I don't trust myself, Maybe I don't love myself the way I think I do. You're on point Chole'
You’re so right! I like what you said... “ what one man won’t do, another one will” it’s just finding the full package of everything that matters to you.
One of your best videos...I like that tip about keeping a journal... It does help..and sets your intentions!! Do not deviate from the standards u set! I walk away anytime I don't like what's served at "the table" or even in female relationships... It has brought better people in my life. I have better options because I didn't settle!!!.
Follow The Hypergamous Hive on Instagram:
instagram.com/hypergamoushive/
The act of walking away helps to open better doors.
I left a job today that i started one month ago. And 2 companies called me this same day giving me appointement on friday and next week.
Fuck them
@@petitpimentglace7063 I did the same a couple of months ago and I don't regret it one bit!
Sometimes worse!! Grass always greener even crab grass .. The myth of self importance the teaching of buddha is to be egoless . most people are egotistical i guess thats what amerikas about the me me me Generation which really no fault of their own selfishness is the new norm. When is the last time you helped a random stranger and dont expect any thing cleaned up after your self at a restaurant so the waiterss or busser would have a easier time. Society is really going. Down no Self displine. You go to to a public I am scared to touch anything need i say more...........
Tochukwu Njoku yes lordt!
True
Some black mothers don't realise how much they have set their daughters up for failure.
True samia, true!
And abuse. A lot of parents set up their daughter for predators.
Yep...mine definitely didnt and wonders why I dont like her now
💯
Tasheri girl when I tell black mothers can be toxic!!!! My mother would wear my clothes and bring strange men in her home that would try to sleep with me. I’m out the house now and I’m with a guy that takes me traveling and he put me in a nice home. & she tried so hard to destroy it but the funny thing is she has no control anymore.
Walking away shows that you wont settle for less!
That's shouldn't settle for less, cause lots of females leave one dusty for another an create a pattern until they get out for good if not too late..
noname yesss
When guys walk away from me I get happy because they were never good enough for me they never cared
My pick me mom would actually get angry and berate me when I would break up with dusty abusive men. It was like she resented me for having the strength that she didn’t.
Angel Nicole so close to home for me right now....I’m about to move out of state leave my entire craptastic fam....giving zero shits...these people don’t fully love us sis....moms n dads included
Angel Nicole my mom was a pick me back in the day....
She probably did
Yes!!! We do NOT have to repeat a past mistake....I’m putting myself first
Please tell more
The last sentence got me: what 1 man won't do another man will. Oh yeah!!!! 👍🏾
Yup Cassie is proof. She just got engaged to her new man.
@@omphilemoerane2569 She probably never wanted that fool..LOL That's why she got engaged so fast....Probably was just using him...He stays getting used by "other" women...lol
Deborah Samson But also know it’s okay to be alone if there’s no good man because it’s not about just finding another man but finding your peace and respect.
Also don’t forget to Pray.
AmaraMoses absolutely
G iiiiii r l sometime we alone ain't enough......s u r r e n d e r.
💯right!
“It is human nature to respect the things that we have to EARN”. TRUTH.
its human nature to respect a human
Yup just left my dusty in the dust. And I’m sleeping like a baby 👶🏾 😂😂😂
Me too! I've been so cheerful!
Amber same here
Me too! I didn’t sleep in the middle of the bed and still stayed on my side for months but now I’m in the middle, I’m stretched out and sleeping wonderfully! Thanks you Jesus.
I will keep listening to this. Dated my ex for years. He told me I no longer had any leverage in the relationship. I left him and he’s been begging me to talk to him for the last 18 months. I realized I had the ultimate leverage: the ability to leave. I did and never looked backed.
That’s why men will trap you with a baby bc they know you will never be able to up and leave.Salute to you.
@@ClaireHaire darling even with your baby, I'll leave your a$$ when you start to be disrespected,and messing around etc.....No jokes.(even if I'm broke )I know my value and won't allow nobody even my blood siblings to wronged me.
KUDOS SIS
wow. *slop clap* 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
👏🏽👏🏽I hope I am soon able to do what you did. I want to.
Remember ladies you don't keep investing in something that has not paid you any interest...you cut your losses and find another investment which should now be yourself.
True🙌🏿
Walked away from a very successful man after dating him for 3 months and finding out he was married. He was very good to me. He paid my bills and took me on a couple of trips. He was able to hide it because he travels a lot. I don’t do married men. I will never be part of another woman’s pain. I am not your play thing. He is still trying to contact me. Put I don’t respond. It’s been five months now.
Travel with Gemini Queen you are such a great person
I'm the same way I dont mess with married men
I am so glad that you made this decision I know so many woman that wouldn’t care if he was married as long as they are benefitting. These men are very sneaky! A lot of times the other women just don’t know.
Jasmine S I would get that wrong back to me if I continued knowing the situation. I love a peace of mind.
👏👏👏
Keep your standards.....you can be heartbroken over a man...that was close but if you stay in that place too long you’ll miss on a man that meets all your standards
Rj Toney FR 💯
Rj Toney 💯
Amen!🙏
Thanks for this
Rj Toney exactly I need this! I recently finally got rid of a dusty I had let go a long time ago mentally
Yes. I was guilty of this in the past. Absolutely not anymore. I AM THE PRIZE.
What one won't another will beg to do.
Broke up with this guy, he just didn’t see me as a prize and was not doing the most for me. Comes over yesterday to beg me back, and this video pops up!!! I took him back and the moment he left I regretted taking him back. Something was screaming out to me, could not make out what it was saying. I just woke up now opened up my RUclips and this video was right there with the “play” sign. Before I even pressed play I called him to tell him I made a mistake and I don’t want him back. I finally know now what the voice was saying, it was screaming out that better is on the way. I’m 26 and I’m donnnnnnneee with these dusty men!!!
you go gurl 😁💯🙌
Periodddd ❤️
"dead end situations" we don't talk about these enough.
Honestly, the reason why I have so many standards is bc of my mom. She’s always has been very feminine, positive and zero tolerance. Show me a woman and I’ll tell you who her mother is.
I agree for the most but the last sentence is not always the case. My mother has been with dusties all her life & still is. Seeing this shit go down in my own household is the reason why I choose not to go down the same road.
@P T I know that I Just wish it was different let me be
That's true!
My mother keeps telling me to stay in contact with my very abusive father so I dont look bad or disrespectful
@@raniachaya897 choose yourself.
Years ago, my mother's friend said she broke up with a dude in college because he asked her for money to get his layaway out. She said she really liked him too. At the time, I didn't understand but now I do...
Lol
A woman knowing her worth and her power is equivalent to her ability to get what she wants in life.
I just got the strength to walk away from my second fiancé a week ago. Im 26. This gives me hope, the first refused to keep a job , my last was toxiccccc and textbook abusive. I need to rebuild myself again.
Can you expand on this I dissed someone with this traits too . It just felt toxic
You dodged two bullets I hope the third time is the charm!
Good job!! I’ve let go of toxic men and Friends and Much Much Better people are Now in my life :D
I’m 31 yo
It’s the Hardest thing to do!! And it’s not taught it is learned. Let go. You will be ok sistas❤️ And yes be hot and cold. Never show your true feelings to these dusty men. And when it’s not right I move on so quick and don’t look back. Don’t need to
Pamelafountain60 jones 💯💯💯💯 they will not learn unless they are done the way they do Periodt.
Walking away is entering the unknown, something a lot of people struggle with understandably. It's hard to leave what you're comfortable with even if you shouldn't be comfortable with it. But it's when we enter new territories that we experience tremendous growth and our new lives continue.
I needed to read that
Confidence is silent....insecurities are loud...I love your channel...always well thought out! Chloe I love your channel! Self-love is the best Love ❤️
The timing of this video is 👌🏾
Ephie G I promise it is, just broke it off with my ex dusty.
I swear!!
This and the last one.
Juuust this morning I had to give someone I really care about the peace sign. Putting myself first and knowing my worth however, doesn't make hurt less.
I needed this video. Thank you.
You must walk away from Toxicty,period,I would rather be by myself than unhappy with a person that does not know how to treat you properly......I am the prize....
This is The Most High's work.
Amen.
I never skip adds for your vids you deserve to get your coin because your hardworking and bring out great content. I really benefited from your channel
Me too
Lol the ads are fine I watch them too so I can support her
I pay for RUclips Red so I don’t see them. But I swear 25% of her views are from me so I hope that makes up for it 😂
Sooo, they don't get credit if we skip the ads??
sometimes it's about walking away from a friendship, or a job, or a toxic family member, as well.
I stay walking away! its because I LOVE ME FIRST! I literally created a video about loving myself more. lol
Girl me too. I'm the queen of walking away as soon as I see red flags. PPL stuck in toxic situations try to clown me for it and say I "give up too easy" or that I'm "dating 50 men". At first it bothered me but not anymore. Those miserable ppl just want my company. I know in the end I will have what I deserve and be happy.
@@emerypride7098 Amen im so happy for you👏❤👍
Queen
Ur channel is soo good n i hope u get the recognition u deserve
Gonna give it a watch
Starting my 20s with a bang
Lucky girl! Enjoy this decades ;)
Yes, but know how!!!! I'm about to devorce my husband, but I'm preparing, moving money, reviewing my finances, getting more certifications. He thinks all is good, but I'm mentally, emotionally DONE...
Smart move!
I am trying to do the same thing but I dunno how much more I can take. I rather be in a shelter than with my boyfriend another freaking day!
I actually walked away from my dusty ex a couple months ago after almost 9yrs. During that time I worked on myself as well. He didn’t have goals. It was driving me nuts! I listed to a podcast that talked about “giving till you get sick” and I was so done. I told him I turned 30 and didn’t see him being the father of my kids! After listening to you and other women relationship coaches I’ve been working on my femininity and long behold, it freaking works. I have a guy that I met through work flying me this weekend to come meet him. He has also planned to take me to a concert in New York and bought pretty nice tickets so we can sit up closer to the stage. I also started talking to another guy who just bought a Lamborghini and he also wants to take me out! I am SO HAPPY I CHANGED THE WAY I LOOK AT MYSELF AND THE WORLD! Law of attraction and femininity are working 💁🏻♀️👼🏻! By the way I am latina, but I honestly appreciate everything u talk about bc in my culture women are also made to feel they have to carry everything and everyone on their shoulders and still have a smile on your face! Machismo is huge in our culture so I love and appreciate all u do for us women! Literary feel so much love for u!
Self love is my fav topic. Once you learn how to love and value yourself, you become limitless and you automatically attract who you are: that includes Mr.Right, the right friends, the right opportunities and so on. That is the best investment you will ever make.
Walking Away is powerful! I finally did that after this guy dragged me along for 6 months....and God shook me and told me that He didn't create me to chase and tear myself up for a man. The most defining moment of my life.
When you embrace the idea that YOU ARE THE PRIZE!!!!!!!!!!! And any man that attempts to step into your life MUST meet your standards, providing for you protecting you and securing you and your future generations. It's easy as hell to accept nothing less. LEAVE THEM FAILURE MEN/DUSTY MEN/ BROKE MEN ALONE SIS.
Not disagreeing or agreeing with u but how are women the prize just curious why u think that
Glad I’ll never be pathetic enough to dislike a video encouraging women to love her existence and elevate her standards. Thanks for your upload Chloe 🥰
It's hard but if you are strong you can do it. Don't let others make you miserable.
The Beautiful One YES!! Don’t let others make you miserable
The Beautiful One Thanks❤
The Beautiful One yes chile
walking away is the true virtue.
This applies with friends also, the amount of times iv cut people off. Hopefully I can do that when I finally start dating 😂
Tabbitha Ncube haha yeah it’s not easy when it comes to guys you really like, wishing you lots of luck 😁
I walked away In dec blocked him AND moved got a new number ... he found me came running back in feb and thought he was here to say ...blocked him and cut him off again because he was repeating the same behavior... I love to cut people off COLD TURKEY
I officially walked away today 🙌🏾
Good for you!!! Sending you positive Prosperous vibes!
Wow!!! This video was 10/10 and i needed it today. I’ve been dealing with the guilt of leaving my ex...I need to put myself first and just trust that better is coming!!!!
I admire your courage. I've never broken up with a guy no matter how bad things got cause I always feared that I might regret it later.
@@michellecruse7763 At least you don't have pick me friends. You have real friends that value themselves and the people they care about.
Alyssa Harris I read a quote that said when you take the trash out you don’t leave it at the door cause it stinks. But like you I struggle with the guilt of cutting toxic people out. I got some advice that said if someone is making you miserable you’re not responsible for their feelings 💞
Me too 😊
I left my husband today. I’m so upset but I know it’s what was needed for myself. This video makes me feel so much better I can’t even tell you. Thank you thank you thank you 🙏🏻
Walking away is a SUPER POWER 🔱
I can say I am proud of what I have become. Just about every woman on my moms side of the family are broken from dusty men, domestic abuse and wasted youth and drained from a Man who really didn’t care about them. I refuse to be that. I want to become the opposite and be the prize and break the cycle 💯❤️
Les Lavy of course they are. Good luck to you 😚
Shout out to all the women here breaking generational curses! I am on a mission too. Sometimes its hard due to heavy programing from childhood but I am teaching myself new behaviour day by day. I just know if I stick to it, nature will make it automatic habit.
Same here!!!
I walked away after 14 years... we co-parent our 3 children.
I feel awesome! The universe sends me messages that confirms I’m on the right path... I can also feel it in my heart that I made the right decision. 🙌🏽
Perfect video for the day Cassie announced her engagement! ❤️
👏👏👏
❤️🔥
Cheve Cheve Cassie who dated p.diddy for 11 years.
It's easy to walk away once you get rid of what makes you feel insecure for me it was my hair👧🏾,unevenskin tone,and clothes👖 so I changed that and instantly got better
also get clarity on why you have low self esteem and mental problems therapists channels on youtube helped me so much
I would be grateful if you could list some of the channels that helped you level up mentally.
Walking away from men should come easy to those of us who’s fathers walked away from us when we were infants and children.
Oops! Say it! Lol
I would think it would be the opposite.
@Kapinga Yamba opposite as they are normally trying to fill that void
I just wish I knew this woman 10-15 years ago. I walked away finally. I am now in the process of weight loss, confidence building, and raising my value. I will not make a mistake like this again. I am more than worthy of a real man, and I wish my parents would have taught me how to embrace my femininity, instead of teaching me how to be a masculine. I was the nice girl, low maintenance, easy as pie. My vocabulary word for 2020 is "NO". I've been the giver, and now I'm learning to be a reciever.
No is my favorite word too 🤣
Sis it’s 2023 and I have learned NO is powerful. How has it gone for you the last 3 years? ❤❤❤❤
When my mom passed away a few days after my ex accused me of cheating and told me if this wasn’t working I can leave. When he came from work the next day I pack Everything. Before my new place was finish painting I was out. He my ex was sleeping with his cousin friend🙄. Boy bye my momma is gone you sir will not treat me like shit. Two years later I have a wonderful husband and a 🏠. Now, lesson that I learned is that if you can’t be there for me during tuff times you serve no purpose. I used to ask my friends with kids if your child bring home him/her because you want to fight and argue al the damn time you have no one to blame because that is YOU hun
You speak the truth! Watching my grandmother, mother and aunts put up with cheating and mistreating and secret babies all my life as if thats all they deserved...I very nearly did the same. Thank the sense in my head!!! I walked away before I got stuck trying to make a diamond out of a dusty, like so many black women feel they should. Breaking the cycle means showing my future daughters, we are worth more than this.
I'm teaching my 6 year old daughter this life skill when it comes to her friends. It's never too early to learn self love.
I was in a 13 year relationship 19-32 hurt to let go but I had too tired of self sacrificing myself for his benefit. We have a beautiful 7 year old daughter but I want nothing to do with him anymore. I had to leave
Why did you leave and why did it took you that long? I am thinking about leaving my boyfriend ive been with from 17 to 28. We have one daughter together. Its a 50 50 relationship. But i earn more money working less hours. He earn less working sometimes 6 to 7 days a week. Has borrowed my money a couple of times. He still owes me a lot of money.
Sorry ladies men don't love, they are naturally selfish.
Your ability to dust your shoes and leave is highly invaluable.
Also grow an internal scale to know when a man's "infatuation" has begun to cool.... and skip away.
Tina kai exactly
Tasheri so true because it has nothing to do with women most of the time its just who the dusty man is. The problem is we look at ourselves as lacking something or not being good enough when the man fails to commit
"skip away"...haha but so true
@Star n' Stripes /////// for men it comes naturally that's why there are more cases of boyfriends and husbands hitting on their women's friends, sisters, aunts etc. A man will always look out for his best interests while you play good loyal down ass chiq.
Star n' Stripes /////// I believe she’s saying men love differently they DO NOT love the way we love. You’ll know a Mans love by how much he provides and protects . I’ve heard countless men tell me this . That is why they buy their wives those huge rings it’s a symbol of his love so in some what she’s correct they love physical not emotional
I was saying this to my 6 year old last night. She has a loose tooth and the new one is already right behind it.
Simple analogy but very prophetic
I just left a relationship that wasant adding a damn thing to my life. I couldn’t get this man to even hold a conversation with me I’m sick of it. I went back once I saw it wasant working I walked away with poise and dignity. He hasn’t heard a peep from me in two weeks. I love it
A lot of immigrant mothers don’t support divorce options for their daughters. It’s seen as shameful. I’ve seen so many women in my culture who literally never smile.
What culture are you part of?
I would love to have a one on one with you. This video made me cry, because I’m struggling with walking away.
Verona Russell 🙏🏽
Look into getting a counsellor who can help you. I don't think Chloe is qualified to do so in a professional capacity.
Make a silent exit strategy and plan plan plan. Do not announce your plans. In the meantime work on your mind...that is going to be key because he has your mind really...hearts can be mended and minds can be strengthened. See a counselor it will help identify your fears...your only afraid of the unknown because you doubt yourself...trust me once you remove fear, the sky is the limit.
Pamelafountain60 jones you ain’t never lied those sweet nothings these fools can make you forget things.
My white female co worker is a bob the builder/ pick me. She is in her 50's and I feel so bad because I KNOW what is coming, and she has no clue. She was a beautiful young lady who married for love, had two kids, works full time. Has arguments with her dusty when she asks to go to the mall, she never gets pretty and talks about how her husband would complain if she went out to get items to enhance her beauty. She says that he is so far ahead of her - she cant keep up, he asked a young hot woman to be his aid at his school, which she will be working at soon. I told my co worker about Betty Broderick This is can happen to any color women with any color man. LISTEN TO HER. Never again.
My family calls me mean, rude, stuck up, white, bourgeouis, ugly. They want me to be mammys to grown a$$ dusty men in the family. I refuse. And I am now the beautiful black sheep of my own eden, getting everything I deserve.
If your a pick me or bob the builder at age 40 (my age) your gonna probably is regret that in the future old people years....I’ll stay single...keep the TV off until I meet a match
I'm learning to love myself and make better decisions for myself. Walking away is very difficult especially when you're invested but when you do it's so worth it. Too many times I've settled for struggle love and situationships but no more I'm done with that foolishness. I know now that I do deserve real love from a man of quality. I'm working on me to prepare for that man and beautiful family I'm going to have☺🙏🏾💕
😍😍
Nique Speaks @ Amen honey ❤️💯💋😉☺️
I truly appreciate your videos!! I’m a 33year old, single, black women. I can honestly say I’ve always was in situations with men that I’ve treated men like the prize instead of valuing myself to walk away. Growing up my mother never had conversations with me about what I should expect from men because she was being abused by my father! I just grew up knowing I I wouldn’t tolerate a man physically abusing me but I stayed in numerous situations that I wasn’t being valued or being appreciated. Even though I’m late in my journey of truly leveling up, I’m optimistic about my future because I never had true direction until now. Thank you!
I am 32 and just this year started my feminine journey. A lot can happen in a year. When I look back at just my body it is a HUGE difference what I have accomplished in my physique and eating habits. Persistence and commitment are key.
Came here after I found out my crush has a girlfriend 😅. I have to let him go and walk away from my fantasies about him🙃. Thank you so much for this master piece ❤.
I got a ex from my past from the 1995 era...we reconnected this year and dated for 6 months.....Can’t marry me..(trust fund kid thats never grown up) mamas boy
Rj Toney oh hell no!
Ugh...I can't stand mama's boys..Like go take your mom on a date boy since you're so up her arse...
Just walked away from a relationship that isn’t what I want. He was good but not great. There were issues and I can do better. Watching this video makes me feel better about this decision
Wow. My dad never let me learn to think for myself. When I had a thought in something or disagreement with him he would strong arm me or laugh at me. I can't believe I had to have all this time to think for myself
I moved away from all my family at 25. Older people I worked with right away, told me I'm sheltered because I carried with me standards my family put on me. I moved by myself to two states, and grew so much. I'm back with family now to pay off my student loans... and its so hard to talk with them because they have such old fashioned beliefs. I'm finally making my own decisions instead of listening to others. I can't wait to be debt free, save, and travel or live somewhere else again 🔥🙌🏽
You are worthy of being loved in the way you desire. ♥️
I had to walk away emotionally first. I walked away from their praise or criticism, their desires or demands. Once I made their opinion irrelevant emotionally, it was then so easy to do that physically. Then you won't be apt to posting on social media to get a reaction from them. They will just be gone but in your mind, you were Gone Already--- Faith Evans
“Completely responsible” is my next level up focus. No longer reactive or baited to emotional puppeteering in 2020. Able to respond implies knowledge and choice. Throw a dash of patience in the sauce.
Yes! Use your cold head instead of your warm heart, especially in the beginning when vetting.
Out of all my years on youtube, this is hands down the best channel I have ever subscribed to you. You are doing God's work! This channel gave me the courage to finally get rid of my ex bf of 5 years who was the biggest dustbunny and constantly dragging me down.
I struggled with walking away from men and not taking care of my looks. But no more. I will continue to invest in myself because I know that the best version of me will change a mans life. Thank u Chloe!
If I had this info in my 20's I would be a powerhouse right now.
The video doesn't even start and I automatically hit thumbs up because I already know the content is going to be great!!🤗
My #fallback game is 💪🏾 Both of my grandmas been married 4 times 😂 they take no shit #shared
I had an emotionally abusive male best friend. My family adore him and would say, "y'all will get married one day, you guys are in love!" mind you, he showed BLANTANT signs of being manipulative and abusive signs and traits. After 14 years and therapy I cut him out of my life. My mother would throw our breakup in my face and that it was my fault why me and him weren't friends. It would hurt because It was confusing for me because I knew he was abusive and I told her she was abusive but somehow she was telling me that I should be okay with that and accept it to keep him in my life - haha. She's a HUGE pick me
This vid is right on time..wrote on my tumblr this morning that “I’ve walked away from so many people, places, and things..I have no regrets”. I know exactly who I am and what I want so every choice I make need to be aligned with that.Thanks 💖
The seals cake was privileged when it slipped in the pool but the car pushed it in furthermore also n or get pin n burst ants overgrown honey filled abdomen causing chaos n confusion in all its surroundings forcing creature into submission bringing shame to all who get graced by it's presence
Your wisdom is divine! I am grateful for your channel and the fundamental truths you tell. Not just about how we as women should relate to men, but also about our own self-love, worth and respect. THANK YOU SO MUCH! You are such a light in these dark times!!❤️❤️💖💓
I'm listening to your videos on repeat because in order to change the subconscious mind we need to repeat so many times until it becomes automatic. once the subconscious mind is reprogrammed, your life shifts completely. thank you Chloe for everything you do.
I walked away from my husband and so many women congratulated me on having the courage to leave
This is a great video Chloe. I think that bw are beat down on a daily basis which is why on some level they don't know how to move away from it. Just know bw you are enough. Repeat that to yourself daily. And ladies, please stop entertaining negative things that do not serve you, such as music, people (family/friends), environments, relationships, social media outlets etc. When you are leveling up, its not just your outer appearance you should tending to you have to cultivate your mind and protect it. It reminds me of those people that get weight loss surgery but they have not addressed the negative relationships they have with food so they put the weight back on. You can lap band your body but if you haven't lap banded your mind, you will find yourself back at square one. Ladies I know we think we are strong but on a subconscious level entertaining ideas and things that do not add value into your life is affecting you more than you realize. I don't listen to or entertain anything that does not uplift me or make me better as a bw. Receiving negativity from anywhere is sabotaging your success in all areas of your life. And when you walk away, you don't have to make a public service announcement. Surprise the world by your level of success, higher standards, femininity and self-confidence.
I AM ENOUGH I love your comment ♥️ so true!
Vanessa yep i have cut out alot of stuff myself. I only listen to rap music during workout because it keeps me aggressive to complete it but i don’t listen or watch anything that beats us down. The black youtube mess I stopped watching all that too. Only channels like this that build us up. Reality tv i laid that to rest a few years ago women acting thirsty like hoes and arguing not for me because i dont act like that.
I am so happy i subscribed .You make real sense. No bs. Love it. It's empowering and straight forward.
I walked away from a Man who never did anything financially for me a total waste of my 5 years with this bum
'I wish I could have watched this video years ago' is a common comment I read under your videos. A lot of us have sold ourselves short to win the hearts of men in the past . But that time is up! Thank you for your content, it gives me hope that it's a new dawn for women❤💅🏾👸🏾
I’m having a hard time moving on, I was in three years relationship, he took me for granted and it’s my fault, I’m very nice and soft - when he started to not take time with me I looked at the positive and asked him why, he used to always tell me babe I know I’m not giving you my time but work is hectic and I’m sorry, forgive me and things like that, I believed those words because I’m soft . It got to the point where he don’t apologise for it and one of the last days I spoke to him - I remember him saying I ask too many questions blabala - no I’m not I want to see if you’re still interested I mean I can see you aren’t but a part of me can’t let go, I want to cut him I haven’t spoke to him for a month, I said no to be intimate with him and he completely disregarded me acting hurt, I’m hurt and I have been for three years yet I can’t find the courage to forget him I’m pissed with myself at this point. I think I vented a bit
Let go
Self love. Take sex off the table until you have your husband.
Yep! I held on for years... he left and found another lol Just let go ladies!
I’m currently in a relationship where I fell off on my self care and doing things to make me happy. I decided to go back to school and haven’t had time to pick up hours at my job but to my surprise my fiancée has taken up all the financial responsibilities. I didn’t expect how happy he seems to be taking on all of it. I’m a lil nervous about it because I’ve never been in this position before but I noticed I’ve been seeking out my feminine nature. Been working on getting in shape and buying make up, smell goods.....I remember as a kid. Preteen. My aunt told me feminism is NOT for black women. I didn’t understand that until now. I will be teaching my daughter to stay in tune with her femininity and to avoid broke dusties!!!
Chloe_ you have a really great voice. I hope that one day you will make an audio version of your book. Thanks again for your content.
Yasss, Men have BEEN encouraging each other men to treat us like trash. Thanks for the motivation Chloe
I had to recently walk away from a dead end relationship and I can honestly say it feels like a weight lifted of me! I know God gave me the strength to do it because of the peace I have now in my life🙌🏽🙏🏽
I overstayed my welcome. I really really really stayed way longer than I should have. I looked at it like I've invested 2 years in this man. I can't go back out there and start all over. Until he did the unthinkable then I was out. Fuck that.
Just want to tell you. I love your content. I am a 44 yo only child whose mother had no interest in teaching me ANYTHING!. She provided and took care of all my needs which I am very thankful, but the information you are blessing these young women with is so valuable.
I'm glad i walk away from someone who liked me to second option to him
Walking away not looking back I'm done with everyone putting God 1st then loving myself from now on
Everyday is a chance to let go and create a new life 🤍🤍🤍
Haven't even watched the video yet, but just liked it because i know i will enjoy it ! #notificationgang #loyalsubbie
Word
Yup
I definitely have a problem with walking away, im in a toxic relationship, I can't seem to pull out. I don't trust myself,
Maybe I don't love myself the way I think I do.
You're on point Chole'
You’re so right!
I like what you said... “ what one man won’t do, another one will”
it’s just finding the full package of everything that matters to you.
One of your best videos...I like that tip about keeping a journal... It does help..and sets your intentions!! Do not deviate from the standards u set! I walk away anytime I don't like what's served at "the table" or even in female relationships... It has brought better people in my life. I have better options because I didn't settle!!!.
I watch this everyday