I always thought of a nervous break down as referring to when someone had gotten to the point where they couldn’t function because they couldn’t take it anymore. Whatever IT is.
@@joanlynch5271 a mid-life crisis is the feeling one gets after reaching a point in life when mortality becomes a more serious factor compiled with worry over one’s place in the world and accomplishments. Often, rather than constructively face age head on and see life for what it is, denial is experienced where the individual tries to “recapture youth” compiled with a need to appear as successful as the person believes they should be by now regardless whether or not they’ve attained such material wealth. From the outside it’s seen as a fifty year old man leaving his wife for a younger woman, buying a sports car, and trying to appear in a younger age group That said, women experience these crisis as well. They’re not solely the realm of men. And nervous breakdowns aren’t strictly female
@@joanlynch5271 WELL IF IM HAVING MY FEMALE MIDLIFE CRISIS BEFORE IVE EVEN GOTTEN TO COLLEGE I CANT FUCKING WAIT TO HAVE MY MAE MENTAL BREAKDOWN HAHAHA ILL FUCKING EXPLODE
Misanthropic Bihhh 🙋 it was a nightmare!! so exhausting!!! I'm so glad that's over and that is why I stay alone, not to mention all the physical injuries from abuse I endured for years but I will say by the way I escaped was brilliant!! I basically did physiological reverse on him and I hope & pray that God doesn't bring me something or someone who is NOT for me ever again
@@kaym.h.3583 nah, look at it like this, if you left him in a crafty mischievous manner, dont think karma will come back at you. I personally dont believe in karma. How the abuser treated you, do you believe the abuse you endured was karma? No. Shitty things that happen in our lives is just random.
I absolutely had such a breakdown years back, trying to raise 4 kids with a narcissistic dolt who could only be described as “non” at best and passive aggressive in general. I finally lost it, and went into a “sleep situation” (?) when I slept for several days. I could hear my kids talking to me keeping me in the loop of things, they were teens and could look out for themselves basically. But I simply could not respond. It was bizarre and trance-like. I didn’t even get up to use the bathroom for at least two -three days. I simply couldn’t move. My body and mind shut down. Somehow I came around eventually and realized I needed to make a life change. He really almost drove me out of my mind. These days Im still close with my kids. And he still has no interest in anyone basically unless they contact him. It was a real wake up call and I am stronger for it, but narcs can really destroy you.
Sophia Lahen oh my gosh yes I remember that too, your there physically but your not able to interact your numb to reality. I am so grateful and happy for anyone who has survived this debilitating experience and came out unscathed to a degree.
Thank you doctor. I am sure this happened to me when my dog died. I cried more in 30 days than my entire 50 years combined. For a few hours I was begging God to give her back to me. Very unrealistic expectation. For some reason, I think I really needed to go thru this.
Pain and loss is a very personal journey. It takes about 18 months to process grief, according to Compassionate Friends (a support group for parents coping with the loss of a child). I have lost a child, and my loving dog. Its the same grief.
I had a “nervous breakdown” it was so scary due to prolonged narcissistic abuse. I am not experiencing any symptoms now over one year no contact. It was the scariest experience I ever went through besides near death. To me the symptoms were sever panic attacks, loss of reality, short term paranoia, extreme anxiety loss of appetite and crying and a general overall impending doom feeling following extreme exhaustion, physical full body trembling dizziness and wanting to be alone and self isolation and thoughts of suicide and fears of a reoccurring panic attack in the future. If you realize your defiantly in a relationship with a narcissist you can escape you can heal you can have a new life and you will feel happy and love again. You will have your joy back when you just accept your not the problem solver and your worthy of a healthy life. Side bar: my timing belt just fell of my van and I had to abandon my vehicle tonight and fix it once the parts store opens tomorrow, it’s so funny you used that analogy ;)
I appreciate your story of narcissistic abuse. I filed for a divorce from my narcissistic husband many years of mental financial emotional abuse!!! I have custody of my kids with autism spectrum disorder. Your absolutely right you can't help THESE people. They will destroy your value of life!!! Thanks I appreciate your courage and strength to tell your story. Much peace and blessings happiness peace of mind. 👍👏👏😊 it's not our problem to fix narcissistic ppl.
Exactly what happened to me. After 25 years of narcissistic abuse. I developed agoraphobia and severe panic attacks. My reality wasn't real. I wished for death. Five years later, I was well enough to make him leave. The awakening is like walking through hell. How many years were you in that relationship? Blessings and love.
I know someone who had a nervous breakdown after losing her daughter. She never recovered and has never been the same. She just stopped eating and had to be hospitalized. Since then she has remained in a depressed state with a flat affect most of the time. All of the bubbly effervesence she once had is gone. I find this to be a sad, but necessary topic. Thank you Dr Grande. I think you spelled that out quite well. 🌹👍
@@dantescave1 My heart goes out to you (from New Zealand). I am certain that our minds can over load and something breaks. Such a breakage takes years to heal and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Can you make a compound fracture less painful or go away by thinking about your other unbroken limbs? No. And most people simply don't understand. I hope your healing is now complete. If not, I am thinking about you from far away.
MrJohnverkerk ❤️ you are so very kind and understanding. I am surprised you understand this...I thought I did, until it happened to me personally. I am healed now, thank you. I was shocked at not being able to overcome my grief, having been taught that a person’s Will was the more powerful force, able to overcome adversity with the right character, values, perseverance. I believed I was someone who would always weather adversity well! Of course, now I perfectly comprehend that such beliefs are a kind of ‘magical’ thinking. Anyone can be broken..It was a very unwelcome discovery however! At first I believed there must be a serious flaw in my character. I embarked on a journey to discover that flaw so I could end the suffering of grief. There was no flaw, and nothing I could fix, I helplessly had to wait for time to do its work.
When you are overwhelmed by anxiety or misfortune, you should take a step back, knowing the fact that you have had similar experiences before and you know that you made it through. Believe in yourself, and nothing will stand in your way.
Not exactly helpful for single parents overwhelmed and not even able to poop in peace during these Covid times. We can admit to needing help, but its not likely we'll get it.
Really? Cuz I'm going blind due to a rare eye disease I never even knew existed. It's so rare there's no studies or treatments because not enough people have the disease so they will not fund studies for the 1 in 40000 who have it. I have a TBI and slowly dying as well. I can no longer see my kids (or anyone's) facial features, peripheral vision doesn't exist to me. Even with the little things I can figure out I never know where I am to even go for a walk. My other senses are so strong they are disturbing & offensive. They almost hurt. I can no longer drive, leave home by myself, or be by myself which is important to me. I have painful treatments and iv infusions. I'm on so many meds that make me feel horrible, have horrible side effects and make me out of it. All of this is the easy stuff and not nearly everything. I no longer have control over my life nor do I have one. I had to stop my career I loved. I couldn't get my master's to be a school psychologist. I've never even seen colors.
@@lkjonez13 I’m not really sure what I can possibly say other than I see you and your struggle and I hope you can find as much peace and joy in the truly important things in life. Keep going until you can’t go on anymore and leave a positive legacy with your children. I’m going through my own hell at the moment. I’ll keep going too.
Thank you for helping me to understand what my daughter suffered when she had a breakdown. She used to telephone me telling me she couldn’t live anymore. She did it so often that I moved from Florida up to Vermont in order to take care of her. When I saw her, she would break out into sobbing, shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. I am shaking, could not be left alone and followed me from room to room, again, breaking out with sobbing. I could not find a local psychiatrist in Vermont to see her. I wound up going to the emergency psychiatric facility at Dartmouth Hitchcock Hospital in Lebanon New Hampshire where they took her immediately. She had a kid anxiety and depression and treated her with Clonopin and Effexor. It took One year for her to regain some control. It took many more years for her to be able to enter a store with me, or be among people, or to be left alone. 20 years later she still has anxiety and is on medication but thank goodness she no longer wants to die to escape her anxiety and depression. Thank you so much, Dr. Grande. Your videos and podcasts are incredibly satisfying, interesting and understandable . the sound of your voice is extremely comforting. I so appreciate your not talking down to your listeners. Please continue with your work and thank you for sharing your knowledge with us.
My understanding of a "nervous breakdown differs slightly from the description in the article. Certainly the nervous breakdown is triggered by stress, but the duration of the stress reaction may or may not be "time-limited." Someone might have a nervous breakdown and never return to full function, or the breakdown may make the person more likely to have another. Also, the person having the nervous breakdown may or may not have a prior mental disorder. A prior mental disorder may make a person more vulnerable to a nervous breakdown.
I AGREE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN. I HAD A "nervous breakdown" DUE TO WORK RELATED STESS THAT BECAME TOO MUCH TO BEAR. LOOKING BACK THERE WERE SIGNS THAT I WAS HEADED FOR A BREAKDOWN. I LEFT WORK ONE DAY ATFER HAVING BEEN THROUGH TREMENDOUS STRESS AND PRESSURE FROM MANAGEMENT FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME. I LEFT WORK ONE DAY AND WAS NEVER ABLE TO RETURN PER MY DOCTOR'S INSTRUCTIONS. I HAVE NEVER BEEN THE SAME AS I WAS PRIOR TO MY BREAKDOWN. THIS IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME BECAUSE WAS ALWAYS ABLE TO DEAL WITH AND PUSH THROUGH THE STRESSES OF MY JOB PRIOR TO BEING TREATED SO HORRIBLY BY MY MANAGER. I DON'T ME TO BE VENGEFUL, BUT, I HOPE KARMA DOES EXIST FOR THOSE THAT DERSERVE IT.
Definitely with this pandemic and a lot of other personal stressors going on, I had an intense panic attack mid July that had me in fight or flight for months. Developed anxiety and panic disorder that left my nervous system extremely sensitized. Now I’m slowly but surely healing but it’s the toughest battle of my life: not sure if this ties in as a nervous breakdown but it’s definitely affected my nervous system. God bless every and anyone going thru this. You’re stronger than you think
Whilst I understood that a nervous breakdown isn't a term used now, I always assumed it was a term used years ago by doctors. My mother had what she always described as a nervous breakdown 40 years ago and I'm sure she said this is what the doctors told her that she had experienced. Although something could have been lost in translation here. My mother wandered out of a supermarket without paying for her shopping, but when confronted, the staff realised something was seriously wrong with her. Luckily they called the authorities who admitted her to hospital and took my sister and I into care. My mother was experiencing catatonic depression, suffered with dry eyes (because she hardly blinked) and an inability to feel pain. She said that it would take ages for her to light a cigarette but then she would just let it burn down to her fingers and she wouldn't even feel it. She had to re learn even simple things like making a cup of tea (which left her exhausted afterwards) and spent two years in a psychiatric ward. I know that she experienced severe panic attacks at some point in those two years also but that's about the extent of my knowledge. Unfortunately she still wasn't very well when she was released and I was returned to her. She never seemed to fully recover mentally and had severe depressive episodes for the rest of her life. Apparently, she was a fun loving, bright and enthusiastic person until her 'breakdown.' I wonder how differently things may have turned out if she was treated nowadays. Although the saddest part is that she was left on her own with two children and no support, meaning no one noticed how ill she had become to begin with. She weighed 6 stone when she wandered out of the supermarket as she had stopped eating, so there were physical signs too. It speaks to how we really do need to take care of each other as a community and how damaging isolation can really be.
yes i believe the term was used back in the day. i remember in high school in the eighties a schoolmate told me her dad had a nervous breakdown. somehow I seem to remember understanding what she meant
Inability to cope. Inability to function. Hysteria. Regression. Maybe an inability to care for oneself. Temporary. These are a few of the "descriptors" that passed through my mind as I watched your video. As I recall, dimly, it was, many years ago, a fearful term; more like a colloquial word for a psychotic break. Screaming, the "men in the white coats," straight- jackets, "mental hospitals." And it was socially stigmatized. These days, my sense is that it's been almost normalized--as in: everyone deserves one; as soon as the rush is over, I'm going to take mine, etc. Edit: I wanted to say something about "creative illness," a term I think originated with Freud or Jung, but I don't know enough about it (although I have read Jung's autobiographical writings, "Memories, Dreams, and Reflections" more than once, and so I know that he had an EXTRAORDINARILY creative approach to his nervous breakdown, or whatever it was). I try to approach my problems, small and large, creatively, and I think all of us should. We should study our problems; do something with them, make something of them, include them in our life's work. Sometimes a breakdown is more than just a breakdown; it's an opportunity, a door, a portal into all we've been missing.
While in the ER for an anxiety attack due to direct report who was a bully, the Dr advised that I leave that company if I wanted to survive. Within 3 months, I had a complete breakdown that lasted a year, now understood as 'adjustment disorder'. The medical community needs to be more aware, like this ER Dr, to advise us because , at the moment, we are only able to focus on breathing, and we don't do that well either. I have only found a solution to stay home in my safe space until I am well enough to venture back out in the world. This video contents should be blasted so more people are aware of the terminology.
After my home burned down, I thought that I was having a nervous breakdown, I was feeling an amplified sense of overwhelming stress, that seemed to scramble my thought process for a brief period. I agree, being a mechanically minded person myself, It was like having a bunch of mixed up pieces, & not knowing how to reassemble them. It was my most stressful experience.
I have heard the same echo that breakdowns are just natures way of saying.... oops what you have been doing for a while is just not working and your brain flips the switch for you. It can be a good turning point if does not result in more chaos.
i had a nervous breakdown & feel the term captures what happened. i simply melted. I could no longer function. i left work and was never able to return in any meaningful way. i flopped on the couch for 18 months and it was all i could do to get my kids to school and many days I couldn't even do that. I've never been the same since when before I used to be the quintessential multitasking single parent high profile career woman who 'had' & 'did' it all. i was subsequently invalidity retired out of work at 40 when i could not keep either a government job down or one at a laundromat
The comment you made in the video about how much more stressful it would be to think about ALL of the steps of changing a timing belt at once, instead of just one step at a time is really helpful to me thanks.
It takes me 1/2 a day to complete a simple household chore, I no longer function correctly. if I make a plan, I get extremely, overwhelmed, trying to get ready, am very late. I randomly Burt out crying & hide from everyone. Thank you Dr.
Thanks Dr. Grande. This helps a lot. My mom had two nervous breakdowns as my family called it. One in front of my eyes. She literally started hallucinating. A few days after she was admitted to the hospital she seemed fine. Now I understand what this was. I knew she was under a lot of stress at the time but I didn't know why it happened to her.
I grew up hearing this term. I thought of it as someone not able to function usually relating to was was termed Axis I such as depression, anxiety, or panic. The key is that someone cannot function day to day.
My understanding is that a Nervous Breakdown is caused by outside , real world issues becoming totally overwhelming . As opposed to a mental disorder could be biological or Spiritual in nature . Thanks for the info on adjustment Disorder, this will be helpful for my communication with my counselor . 😊
I had such a breakdown and the therapists told me I was mentally ill. But this is not the case. They didn´t understand in what position I have been for three years. I was STRESSED! I had a narcissitic partner who made my life a MESS! I never was depressed, full of anxiety ect before. I couldn´t cope any longer! So..
A nervous breakdown in my experience is anxiety, panic attacks, depression, insomnia, inability to function, derealization, that’s what happened to me. It almost killed me. I took antidepressants and benzodiazepines. It took me many years to recover.
I had a mental breakdown from years of stress and abuse, untreated anxiety and depression and then immigrating to a new country. I think breakdowns are often caused by prolonged, severe or multiple sources of stress. The breakdown lasted 2 years until I was finally able to get help (medication and counseling) The breakdown totally changed me..I didn't recognize myself..I would get extreme rage, frequent mood swings, severe depression, crippling anxiety, I'd cry every day, (often all day) etc My new husband stood by me even though I was unbearable to live with. I would rage at him, slam doors, say awful things to him, have extreme frequent mood swings like a roller coaster, get anxious and paranoid over minor things...every day was HELL. When you can't take anymore stress, and/or an underlying mental health disorder becomes too much, you break. I'm not the same person I was before the breakdown. My mind doesn't function properly. I have difficulty concentrating (and speaking at times). I've lost my bubbly carefree nature. I used to be an extrovert, now I often wish to be alone, and people irritate me. But, I'm grateful for the people who held my head above water and told me 'it WILL get better, hang in there'
Very informative. When I was 10 years old I was had told by my mother that a neighbor “had a nervous breakdown”. When I asked her what that was she told me that the woman had wrapped her refrigerator in a blanket because it was cold. That she was subsequently institutionalized for a time. Sounds like this was not what is usually meant by a” nervous breakdown” at all.
Maybe it's what she thought you would understand and didn't want to use a term like "went crazy". I was about that age when Mom told me a neighbor lady had a breakdown. Reflecting back it was more that she just couldn't cope with a drunken husband, raising four boys and trying to be the good housewife. The good news, hubby stopped drinking and started to help raise the boys after her hospital stay.
Is it possible that if what people experience when they say they had a nervous breakdown was a psychological return to a more primal level of emotion? I relate to the term only once. No psychosis. No delusions or any such thing, nothing like PTSD, personally I couldn’t even term it depression or anxiety. Just a complete feeling of being stripped of any coping mechanism. A rawness. A few years back I was told I had cancer (the MRI said so) by an oncologist. I had laparoscopic surgery and was told I would be sent an appointment to discuss treatment. A week later I received an appointment for 3 months into the future. I coped reasonably well for about 2mths, then one day I sat on the stairs and fell apart, sobbing extremely deeply, curling my knees up to my chest. No one was at home, and I didn’t want anyone to fix me, comfort me or anything. Need or want was gone. Rock bottom tanked out. That passed within a couple of hours after which I accepted my diagnosis. Fully. Eventually I had my appointment and literally passed out cold when I was told “sorry, we made a mistake, you don’t have cancer”. I’m sharing this not because I really want it public, but because it might help you and others to hear what some of us would term a nervous breakdown. Thank you very much for sharing this video, Dr Grande. I’ve missed quite a lot lately due to long work hours. Have a very happy day ☺️
not that i wanted to make this public either, but had a similarly stressful situation(no pass out thankfully, but i dropped my purse). Planned Parenthood: general pap smear, urine test done beforehand. The moment I leave the bathroom after passing the specimen through the little slot inside the restroom, a nurse is waiting right outside the door. She is beaming and happily says, "You're pregnant Mommy!" This is when my purse fell to the ground&I started feeling faint. I was in my mid-thirties, bf was told by a doc@age 18 it would be unlikely he would be able to get anyone pregnant due to low sperm count, but he had made it clear he did not want children. In the waiting room b4 giving the sample, I had to fill out a questionnaire about what my wishes were for the baby if I was pregnant. I filled in the radio button that said I wanted to keep it. He was looking over my shoulder and said, "Are you sure?" All kinds of thoughts were racing through my head: "How could they possibly check my sample so quickly? Am I going to end up a single Mother working two jobs just like my own Mother did when I was a latch-key kid? How am I going to be able to afford this situation I was never expecting on my $7/hr grocery store cashier wage? I don't have health insurance. How do I tell my bf? Do I tell my bf? What is my Mother going to think since she hates my bf? I am sat down inside a back room with the door closed about to call my Mother w/the good news when the door opens. Prior to this, they would not stop calling me "Mommy" while taking my blood pressure as I was having a panic attack. Nurse Ratchet told me to calm down and "think about the baby." The door opens, it's a different nurse. She apologizes and tells me the urine samples got mixed up and I actually am not pregnant. The call to my Mother was just seconds away from going through. I hang up on her. A wave of relief mixed with regret and remorse washes over me. "This means your $75 pap smear is going to be FREE on the house today!" I feel ambivalent in response. I wonder if this person is going to make a mistake during the pelvic examination and have anxiety about being a patient in this facility...but it's been years since I've had an exam, and I'm already here...and my bf is at the library waiting for me to call when I'm done. At least all I have to do is lie on a table. I clutch the welcome baby pack I was given for would-be mothers and get the exam. It goes swimmingly, thankfully. All Clear. As I leave the facility, the nurse who told me I was preggers tells me, "You don't have to tell your bf about this." Are you KIDDING ME???! I'm telling everyone: my co-workers, my family, anyone who will listen. Then she notices the piece of paper I have in my hand that reads: Confirmation of Pregnancy. "We need that PAPER!." Without thinking I hand it to her and she IMMEDIATELY SHREDS IT! Then she eyes the welcome package for new mothers that contains an actual diaper. She wants this as well! I tell her I want to keep it and she lets me. I still feel like there may be a possibility I'm pregnant and wonder about getting a second opinion and was it a mistake to get the pap smear? For the next week, and months later...I am a basket case.
All the reading I've done on psychiatric disorders, and I've never heard of adjustment disorder. I'm diagnosed and being treated for ADHD and anxiety, but adjustment disorder perfectly describes what I'm feeling. I've always equated nervous breakdowns with panic attacks, which I have fairly regularly. I'll be discussing this with my ARNP at my next appointment.
Amanda, hope this helps. I started hearing about adjustment disorder in the late 80s/ early 90's while in a social work program and in basic psychology classes.
Thank you again for a very clear, informative and helpful explanation. key word for me is"overwhelmed." A word that I am sure resounds with many in our fast -paste society.
Nervous breakdowns are extremely painful. This is not something I hear others describing it. It takes a while to heal. Its frustrating to experience. Others say, just snap out of it. But you cant WILL yourself back to wellness. Much like recovering from a heart attack. It is a slow healing process to regain your emotional strength.
My new favourite channel!! I’ve just learned something new. Thanks! 😊Adjustment Disorder. I had a ‘nervous breakdown’ and was sectioned. This followed years of psychological abuse and then my father died and my ex boyfriend commit suicide. I just couldn’t cope and my brain malfunctioned. My mind couldn’t process any more pain.
I think anybody can have a nervous breakdown, if you suffer enough losses at one time, it pushes you over the edge. I had a breakdown when I lost the love of my life, but it wasn't total, because I never stopped bathing or grooming myself, or eating. Oddly enough, I never could cry. I cried inwardly, but wasn't able to shed tears, which is unusual for me.
Wonderful description of the term "nervous breakdown". I personally used this term to describe a year in my life after my loving husband of 43 yrs pass away from an illness. About a month after he passed I felt like I'd been hit by a truck emotionally and that extreme emotion took about 2 months to slowly get better to a livable grief. Thank you Dr. Grande, when I look back on that time, you describe it perfectly.
I had Nervous Breadown 2002, when my husband was diagnose of Psycosomatic Illness 2001. Since 2017 I have Depression. Thank you for your explanation. I learn many good lessons and advice from you.
I have been following you for many months; this is one of your finest presentations. You probably helped millions of people understand the normal experience of adjustment disorder. Kudos to you !
Great description of the nervous breakdown due to overwhelming life circumstances . Thank you doctor. Invaluable insight into a very serious and common mental issue.
indeed. i had a "nervous breakdown" in 2007. my mother died and i had to take over the care of my dad who didn't get along with my husband and i was dealing with their issues till dad went to an (superb) adult foster home. it was about 2 years after my mother died and one day i simply couldn't do anything. it was like unplugging a radio. i felt like i weighed a million pounds, had a minimal appetite, sleep was not refreshing, and it lasted 6 weeks. it took some time to get back in mental shape. i do have depression (treated), but this was something else altogether. thanks for the information. btw: i drive a 1978 toyota corolla.
This information is really helpful and it is comforting in a way because Dr. Grande gives valid reasons for emotional meltdowns and shutdowns. Stress is a very real thing. I had a meltdown last week, from feeling the pressures of selling & buying a house, moving 3000 miles, dealing with COVID-19, having financial challenges, graduating from college, and losing my 5-year-old pet in death,.. all within 6 months. I don't think I had an adjustment "disorder," though because I feel that my psychological response was very natural. Anyone who goes through a lot of stress in a short time is going to have an adjustment issue. I just needed to step back a bit, count my blessings, and pick myself back up. I sure wished that I could have spoken with a counselor at the time though.
I agree with your description. Car trouble w fear it won't pass inspection even though a lot of $$ has been spent, an upcoming surgery where there's fear that the presently tamed Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome will be triggered, plumbing problems requiring $$ you don't have, harassment from a neighbor, untreated severe Central Sleep Apnea w a recalled CPAP machine that is not working, ADHD adding to being behind on paperwork including taxes even though money is owed rather than due ... The list goes on yet it's too depressing to keep listing more. This video is the best description I've seen or heard.
I found your explanation to be kind and generous. Non specialists don’t talk technically and can’t be expected to. The professional can tease out what the person means. Thank you.
my ex dumped me before because he felt depressed during our long distance relationship. As a psychology student, I felt awful and was accepting of the breakup as I was far more worried about his mental health and well-being. I organised our whole separation process e.g. Taking my stuff from his apartment, removing contact, removing our legal obligation (which he was not co-operating with me for 3months). And in the end, I realise he didn't even think through what he said. He never thought of the consequence of using such words and actually losing me. He admitted that he didn't actually wanted to break-up and he wasn't totally depressed.... Omg. So yes - also frustrates me when people can blatantly use terms for disorders or mental illnesses to describe their short-term 'sadness'. Anyways thank you Dr. Grande! I educate myself more by listening to your videos at work:)
For years I thought it was a point of pride to be the person that was told, “I don’t know how you do it” on a regular basis. It became my gauge to know when I might be slacking. This is not a good long term plan and I had what I consider a “mental breakdown”. I was caring for my mother who was losing her battle with cancer. I was caring for my teenager with nonverbal autism and seizures. At the same time I was being triangulated and in a terrible relationship. One day I tried to get medication my son needed and couldn’t. It was the straw… it was like my ability to hold any more fear worry loss or emotional pain was at capacity. I lost my ability to speak and couldn’t drive anywhere. It was like the world was a different place and I no longer knew how to navigate in it. I tried to call family and was able to say where I was, my son is sitting in the back of my car this whole time. My sister showed up to take me to the hospital and as soon as she asked me a question this sound came out of me I had never heard from anyone. I have only realized today what the sound was and it has been 6 years. It was keening. In the hospital someone asked a question and I started keening again. I was given an injection of Ativan and it all stopped and I was able to speak and everything else. I went to a doctor and was told that wasn’t a mental breakdown. At the same time she told me I was close to losing myself. I’m not sure of the difference. I’ve never experienced this again and wonder what exactly it is.
This is exactly what I needed! I’ve been trying to explain this to others. Thank you for taking the time to do these :) Your videos are so easy to follow and I love your calm demeanor.
Very insightful! My mother, a senior citizen, is having some trouble with something like this. She has not been given an official diagnosis, but I often think that she's having "a breakdown". I was unable to put any other terms to it. This video helps a lot.
I've had several nervous breakdowns. Every time I have one I loose something. My personality changes permanently. My memory doesn't work well since the last one ten years ago. The first one took out religion. The second one I can't remember what I lost but after the last one ten years ago, I started having memory issues and I stopped listening to music for years. I used to have music on ALL THE TIME and for years I didn't want music on. There were other changes that like I said I forgot. My mom's side of the family has breakdowns. Everyone who has them on that side of the family reports damage. They pick up things like stammers in speech inability to access words and memories reliably etc. SO I don't buy this. Someone has to characterize the problem better but we can't do that if there is nothing but denial because denial never goes looking for a cure.
Excellent way to show how sometimes we know exactly what one is trying to express when using this term despite it not being an official diagnosis. The challenge is to determine the degree.
I was sexually abused by my adoptive mother. At the age of 20 I saw a clip of a movie ,Sybil, that depicted this type of abuse. I remember my mind "breaking" right then. I was hospitalized in a deeply depressed and comatose state. I've always just revered to it as a nervous breakdown.
OMG You poor thing. I saw that movie and it horrified me. I'm so sorry you had that happen to you. Trauma just never completely goes away. I know that for a fact now, since I had several and kept trying to 'walk through it'. People don't understand unless they've "been there"
I'm not buttering your muffin, Dr Grande but I really wish you were my therapist. I really don't know of a human being that makes as much sense as you do and as fair and objective. Thanks for being you and sharing all your insight
I enjoy your channel My first husband was a narcissistic abuser who committed suicide 12 years ago My second husband ( not a narcissist) passed away suddenly six weeks ago Can you address severe grief and how to survive/move beyond severe grief?
Quit a few years ago my sister suffered from what many called a nervous breakdown. She was 8 months pregnant and came home one evening with her little 8 month old daughter near Christmas to find her husband had hanged himself. For several months we had to take care of her and her daughter, then her little newborn. My sister was physically and mentally unable to function. She had a complete collapse and needed psychiatric treatment for a few months. So many things you said describing what is meant by the term "breakdown" fit perfectly! It was an incredibly terrible and painful time, but it wasn't a state that still exists today.
Nervous breakdown .... I had one. Helplessness, hopelessness, emptiness, emotions with lack of words or ways to express them plus no emotional support in sight when I found out my 14 yr. old son was sick. Yes, I did lose my mind temporarily and if my son hadn’t needed me I can’t say I would have been able to gather the pieces of myself up or even had the desire to do so. I wasn’t the same nor have I ever fully recovered from my breakdown..., my personality changed completely and I suffer from PTSD as well. Also diagnosed with BPD type II comorbid BPD.
Thank you for this video Dr. Grande. Can you please do a video regarding when a person loses their resiliency to keep recovering from extreme traumatic events. This is only a handful of experiences of mine. My parents trying to drown me in the ocean. Losing 8 friends to suicide, my neck being fractured. Even so, I still kept rebounding & decently recovering. Finally a last straw was my only brother dying from abuse from these parents & then my husband deceiving me. We are still together & things worked out, yet, I have a flat affect & have never regained my grounding. Something within me broke. Even my voice inflection changed to more monotone. I have some recordings of me talking from before my brother's horrible death & my voice is lively and it is literally like listening to another person of days long past. I feel like I literally died inside from who I used to be. I am not giving up though, but it is like I am doing time in some waystation between who I used to be & how I may become in my future. This is the best way I can explain all of this. I know many people commenting on your channel have had more than their fair share of extreme happenings that have brought them here attempting to get their bearings back. I would like to know how you would frame this. Your ideas might very well be helpful to myself & others.
Thank you for reading what I shared Dr. Grande. There is one thing I forgot to say that is relevant. It has been over 5 1/2 years now since my brother died & my husband deceived me. Just to make clear that it wasn't recent & I have never been the same again. It is like the person I was does not exist anymore and maybe never will come back. This limbo type state leaves me feeling very lost & uncomfortable. I rarely feel even momentary happiness & feel trapped within myself.
@@ciganyweaverandherperiwink6293 Thank you so much. 😊 💓 Your comment just made my day. Perfect timing to hear from someone who is wishing me well. I hope you are having a nice day.
@@cheatednomore6430 i’m sorry you’ve experienced such terrible things 😲. I don’t know the answer to your question, but 10 years ago I experienced a major depression that lasted about a year. I thought I was never going to recover from it, and it took a long, long time for me to start to feel like myself again. There is still a difference though. I used to have great intuition, and I lost it completely. I’ve only got about 5% of it back. It’s hard because that was my navigational system in life. I’m glad that I feel grounded in myself again. It’s something that I’ll never take for granted. I’m wondering if it would help you to see a grief therapist? It sounds like you’ve been around some very creepy people and have been through so many losses that it might help to talk to someone about it if you haven’t. What you’ve experienced is so intense, I hope that you’re able to get the answers that you need so that you can come home to yourself.
@@attheranch873 Thank you Birdsong 😊 You just took the time to leave me such a beautiful & caring message. I do know what you mean regarding losing your intuition & navigation system. I truly believe that it will come back to you incrementally to exceed way more than 5%. When the life-force is zapped from depression and other similar taxing situations the intuition we have is siphoned away. I can't tell you what a blessing your message is to me. It is like a message from a kindred spirit. I was born with psychic abilities and that includes intuition. They have all but flatlined when depression has taken over. I still get some messages when I have been taxed beyond my limit, but not as many. I like the idea of a grief therapist. I also like the idea of a trauma therapist. Because my parents, who should have been in prison, got everyone to believe that I and my brother were lying about their abuse NO ONE helped us. They even abducted me when I was 21 when I went on the run to hide in another city to get away from them & threw me into their car & took me back to their house. Police did not help me, in high school when a counselor tried to get help for me to be removed from their home, the person above her told her he would not allow it because my father was wealthy & he did not want a lawsuit. Doctors knew I was being abused and refused to report it. This is why I feel it would be useless to get any type of therapy. Where do you find a therapist who actually bothers to believe the person trying to get help. 🤔 I am still considering it though. I really like your name. Birdsong is such a peaceful name. I have always loved birds. I saw 2 huge red tailed hawks fly over our porch yesterday. I also saw 3 California Condors fly directly in front of my bedroom window last year. They are magnificent birds. Their wingspan blows your mind (it is roughly 9.5 feet) We live above a beautiful wash in the hills and there are so many birds. I saw 2 owls last night & a falcon. I hope you have a wonderful evening 💜
Makes sense to me. As a retired reformed hardcore mainstream mediciner this one dig demonstrates how an in-touch and curious psychologist can uncover data lost in the vapor of public misnomers, possibly opening up a new source for informative, peer-reviewed publications.
Thank you Dr Grande this term puzzled and frightened me for years. It seems as if, reading the comments that the suffering at the hands of Narcissistic abusers is mainly the cause of this type of suffering. I had a similar episode after the birth of my baby years ago. It was very painful and it took a while to recover but thankfully has never happened again. I am just so thankful that there is is much information open to us about Narcissistic abuse now. These people are underhand and the abuse is often subtle but devastating. It’s the price of being a loving and innocent person. We need to arm ourselves and carry on our loving but wiser outlook.
A few years ago, I was under an incredible amount of stress. And then one day I had a seizure. A big one. I was sick and confused for days afterward. My doctor told me that sometimes someone is just so stressed that they can have a one-off seizure without warning or history. I always considered this a mental breakdown.
I totally had a nervous breakdown! I refer to it, though, as brown out because 1) I worked wounded for a long time, a year and a half before I went out on FMLA 2) then had to work practically full time for another two years to win my federal disability case! I had to "heal" whilst on the run- I did not have the luxury of break down, no spouse, no live-in support, had to pay my rent etc. Did not get to rest for quite a while, really. And even then, there is no real relaxing b/c disability is not permanent, I have to keep up my care and not become complacent in s system that does not care and will excrete me if it can when I get reviewed. Plus, oh, yeah, gotta look for that disability housing! That's a job in a crazy housing scene. I appreciate that I don't have a schedule anymore, and I can be lazy, but... i also worked wounded in a work society that values having a headache as a badge of toughness. I have a super complex set of feelings about being disabled, some it a big FU to hurting myself to not look like I couldn't handle a headache in front of other people working with headaches. ha AAA! OK, now I'll watch the video haha THANK DR> GRANDE!
I never knew a person could have so many over and over. I figured you would would end up sitting in a straight-jacket drooling. Now that I think about it, thats basically what DOES happen but the whole damn relationship is the straight-jacket! And the effects on the brain have shown to be similiar to someone that gets a concussion. 🤕
@@ertaskwn Yes, one of my past narcs was an Aquarius. Ive had more than my share including a Sagittarius and a Libra but the Aquarius was the WORST. He would admit himself into impatient psych wards or join support groups and then prey on vulnerable women. I had been through 16 years of abuse and went in the hospital with a black eye and a "breakdown". The meds they gave me made me sick. I was in a group session and they wouldnt let me leave to lay down. This total stranger stood up and announced he was helping me get to my room. And went on to admonish them for being insensitive and even negligent by not attending me. And when I left he gave me his number in case I needed help in any way. Almost immediately, the abuse started back up when I got home and guess who I called? Biggest mistake of my life. Truly a psychopath.
Exellent explanation of this term, my mother has had several "Nervous Breakdowns" and all the symptoms you mentioned in Adjustment Disorder fit perfectly. Thank You for this Video
When I had to put my dog to sleep, I came home, and just broke down crying, whereby I couldn't catch my breath, and felt I could not go on. This behavior went on for some days. I felt I was having a nervous breakdown. And one time when I was young we had a family picnic and my father was drinking and picking on my mother to the point that she came into the kitchen and collapsed to the floor crying. We all went to her and calmed her down, That's what I always considered nervous breakdowns to be.
I had always wondered how do you know if you are having a nervous breakdown and what it actually means. Finally I have a good answer! I was once diagnosed with adjustment disorder, so I now get the idea what it's like.
I was experiencing terrible pain that I could not express, but it came to the level that just broke me to the point that I was laughing at it for 3 days and cried it finally out for years
I was 14 when my collapse occurred. I’ve always thought it was me being weak. Our family was so dysfunctional with mom being so high on the mod spectrum and all the men in and out...tyvm
One of the things that makes for an enjoyable lecture is when the speaker remembers that listeners may not be familiar with industry language. The way he slipped in the definition of etiology (thanks, btw) made me think "Skillful teacher!"
"Borrowing worry". A new term learned that I definitely did in a attempted relationship before you knew it wasn't on the same plateau of reasoning. That would now be a huge red flag to cease rather than chasing an illusion of eventual demise.
Nervous/mental breaks are like a gateway for all other symptoms of the anxiety/depression spectrum. I got severely overloaded with school and a really ugly breakup (like really ugly), and my minor social/general anxiety morphed into full-blown panic disorder with a lot of OCD thoughts/tendencies and reoccuring derealization. It's like whatever your baseline is for your day-to-day mood, getting to a crisis point takes that baseline and multiplies it exponentially to a point where you miss your normal level of anxiety. And the worst part about it all is the ingrained conviction that you're fucked forever, and that the sun will never shine again and that you'll forever remain a shell of your "former self". Quite the spooky experience, especially when it drags on for 6+ months. Definitely encourage anyone in that dark place to stay away from self-medicating cuz all that'll do is add layers of anxiety and depression along with multiplying the confusion about life and who/what you are.
I think so too . a moment.. clearity .. where, .. if you're really paying attention w' some coping skills.. you can see it for what it is ... it's them .. not you ..
Not necessarily. Those I’ve met who have experienced conditions considered a “breakdown” suffer them after becoming so overwhelmed by every one of life’s issues bearing down on them at once. Rather than a “breakthrough” it’s akin to “the straw that broke the camel’s back”. The problems are still there, but the mental framework that had been balancing so many on a knife edge has crumbled and refuses to be rebuilt
Thank you for that excellent explanation. It shows the importance of getting professionally evaluated and treated in order to mitigate suffering. I learn a lot from your videos and appreciate your generosity.
My job is having this effect on me atm. I have a stressful job and it makes me feel depressed. I usually rely on my auto pilot to get me through, but my auto pilot has become broken. I've never experienced this before and I'm at the end of the line in regards to my work I think. I can't continue feeling this way as it's scary.
I understand. I hope that since you wrote this that you have moved on from your toxic job....It's not easy, I know because I had to move on after over 30 years.
You have just answered SO many questions that I have had about my experience with a "nervous breakdown" early in my first semester of college (away from home) back in 1972. It was definitely triggered by a specific event (nothing violent or invasive) causing prolonged emotional and physical pain sufficient to send me to see a school psychiatrist for help. I only saw her once (I did not get the feeling she could help me), and after about 5-7 days, I was back to feeling normal again. I have not experienced that since, but I have often wondered, "What the hell happened back then!?" Now I am fairly sure it would have been diagnosed as "adjustment disorder." And talking it through with a mental health counselor once or twice probably would have provided some helpful insights and a speedier recovery. As it was, I found it extremely frightening to be in that state. Thank you for the fantastic explanation!
Thanks for this video, Dr. Grande. I am a neuroscientist and until I saw this video I assumed a "nervous breakdown" was a catch-all term for depressive episodes, manic episodes, or psychotic episodes.
Well done. Approximately three decades ago I was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder (post-divorce plus relocating across the country). Completely on my own and very young. I went to Dr., initially for feelings of anxiety. Fast forward four years ago worst ever symptoms due to weaning off of SSRI, enduring a huge move/relocation, overwhelmed was an understatement. Then to learn I really didn’t like the place we moved into where we invested so much… My focus was too much on what needed to be accomplished instead of taking it one step at a time one day at a time. I wish I had the “so what” attitude aka practicing the serenity prayer! I also wish I went onto alternative RX for anxiety and depression. But I’m back on bupropion and very low dosage of SSRI. My only concern now is because the way the world is that patients will perhaps be facing shortages of Rx. That would be a matter of life/death for many. I would then go back to substitute i.e.5HTP or SamE to boost serotonin and L tyrosine to boost L-dopamine. Hope my sharing helps someone else. Don’t know where I would be without good friends, comforting and supportive church body, power prayers and relationship with Holy Spirit incidentally Christ calls Him “the advocate” which Christ left 4us on earth. The “Advocate” translated from Latin is “Lawyer.” Advocate/Holy Spirit has our backs! He is our best defense while we are here. He is our counselor, guide, healer, Protector, comforter, 24/7 Companion, just for the asking to be baptized in the Holy Spirit inviting Christ into my life and heart has changed everything. No more confusion chaos. He provides:)
My first symptoms were shaking and tremors in the mornings. Then I felt like I was watching myself going to work and I felt like I was a “ double negative “ of myself like in a photograph. I wanted to get OUT of my body but I didn’t want to die either. Upon waking in the morning I would run down the path behind my house in my pajamas until I threw up beside a tree. Then I let out these gutteral cries in the woods. I lost much of my body weight. I would scream and cry in my car alone. I prayed to God for peace. I am recovering slowly day by day after six years.
I had one. I lost my mom to suicide in 2019, then job and license all in one month! I went into the deepest depression ever. YOU MUST REACH OUT FOR HELP!
It may not be a clinical term but a person can go to the ER for a nervous breakdown. I did not know this so many times I did not get the help I needed. I think part of the reason there is so many suicides and mass shooting is people don't know that they can go to the ER for a nervous breakdown. Some of them might have tried to get help from a private psychologist and found they could not afford it. I think there should be a course in wellness and mental health in high schools.
I've been having panic attacks / heart palpitations lately, really bad when driving and other stressful situations to the point where I couldn't work last week. when I'm home im fine. Im pretty sure it's stress related. My stresses have been piling up the past few months and that's an understatement. I also tend to burry things and keep trucking. I think its all comming up physically, mabey exacerbating a heart issue that normally goes unnoticed. Not sure but I do need to see a Dr. But if I had to describe it in a phrase I would say I'm having a nervous breakdown. My "nerves" are shot would be another phrase.
Yes this was interesting. I remember a story told to me as a child by my Grandmother. She was talking about the divorce of my Grandfather from his first wife and how it affected my Uncle, ( one of 5 children). I had asked questions about where my Grandma grew up and about why my Uncle had lived on her family farm for awhile. She told me my Uncle developed “ St. Vitas Dance” after the divorce and went to live at her family’s farm. I never knew what that meant but had funny ideas about it. My Dad finally explained that his brother had a “nervous breakdown”. My Grandma didn’t like how many questions I asked and was a proud person. I usually didn’t give up until I thought my questions were answered so I could understand. Have you heard of this before?
Thank you for doing this video. I'd love to see a video differentiating adjustment disorder from major depressive disorder or generalized anxiety disorder.
I think anyone who has been through one, can honestly say that they HAD had a "nervous breakdown". That's exactly what it feels like, and there's no other term that quite describes it so well. Whether clinicians want to validate the term or not, it's real! The closest definition I could give is: losing the ability to COPE...with ANYTHING and everything becomes TOO MUCH. You are 100% correct in saying that it is a case of being all at once OVERWHELMED. I wanted to roll up into a little ball and disappear, not being able to deal with even one more tiny iota of life, because it was unbearable. In the moment, even breathing became too hard. In my case, it manifested by me bursting into tears at work and not being able to stop crying. We are talking embarrassingly loud, wailing, UGLY crying. I was only too grateful to agree with my supervisor that I needed mental help because I "couldn't seem to cope". My therapist wrote that I had had a depressive episode in response to several "noxious life circumstances". I told her I had had a nervous breakdown!
When I think someone is going threw a nervous breakdown I think of a scale one side is the good that's happening in your life and the other side is the bad.If the bad is out weighing the good by a large amount then it's like your knee if you put to much pressure on it its gonna cause an injury.Same with the brain.
Oh yes, nervous breakdown. Been there done that. Agree. It’s over stimulus of a bunch of shit that rained down upon my shoulders, no help in sight. The mind / body literally disconnect and have no relationship with one another. It’s a blackout without alcohol or drugs. Crazy experience.
I always thought of a nervous break down as referring to when someone had gotten to the point where they couldn’t function because they couldn’t take it anymore. Whatever IT is.
Like a female form of mid life crisis?
@@joanlynch5271 a mid-life crisis is the feeling one gets after reaching a point in life when mortality becomes a more serious factor compiled with worry over one’s place in the world and accomplishments. Often, rather than constructively face age head on and see life for what it is, denial is experienced where the individual tries to “recapture youth” compiled with a need to appear as successful as the person believes they should be by now regardless whether or not they’ve attained such material wealth. From the outside it’s seen as a fifty year old man leaving his wife for a younger woman, buying a sports car, and trying to appear in a younger age group
That said, women experience these crisis as well. They’re not solely the realm of men. And nervous breakdowns aren’t strictly female
@@joanlynch5271 WELL IF IM HAVING MY FEMALE MIDLIFE CRISIS BEFORE IVE EVEN GOTTEN TO COLLEGE I CANT FUCKING WAIT TO HAVE MY MAE MENTAL BREAKDOWN HAHAHA ILL FUCKING EXPLODE
Yeah that’s essentially what he’s saying .
And I never considered it an out of proportion reaction. I don't think Adjustment Disorder even with depressed mood captures how the term is used.
Excellent explaination Doc.
I bet a lot of people suffered this with narcissistic abuse.
I did.
Those devils literally make you lose your mind.
Misanthropic Bihhh 🙋 it was a nightmare!! so exhausting!!! I'm so glad that's over and that is why I stay alone, not to mention all the physical injuries from abuse I endured for years but I will say by the way I escaped was brilliant!! I basically did physiological reverse on him and I hope & pray that God doesn't bring me something or someone who is NOT for me ever again
@@kaym.h.3583 nah, look at it like this, if you left him in a crafty mischievous manner, dont think karma will come back at you. I personally dont believe in karma. How the abuser treated you, do you believe the abuse you endured was karma? No. Shitty things that happen in our lives is just random.
I absolutely had such a breakdown years back, trying to raise 4 kids with a narcissistic dolt who could only be described as “non” at best and passive aggressive in general. I finally lost it, and went into a “sleep situation” (?) when I slept for several days. I could hear my kids talking to me keeping me in the loop of things, they were teens and could look out for themselves basically. But I simply could not respond. It was bizarre and trance-like. I didn’t even get up to use the bathroom for at least two -three days. I simply couldn’t move. My body and mind shut down. Somehow I came around eventually and realized I needed to make a life change. He really almost drove me out of my mind. These days Im still close with my kids. And he still has no interest in anyone basically unless they contact him. It was a real wake up call and I am stronger for it, but narcs can really destroy you.
Sophia Lahen oh my gosh yes I remember that too, your there physically but your not able to interact your numb to reality. I am so grateful and happy for anyone who has survived this debilitating experience and came out unscathed to a degree.
@Grumpy Granny At least Dr Grande offers bibliographies on most of his videos, so you know he consults the research and not just social media.
Thank you doctor. I am sure this happened to me when my dog died. I cried more in 30 days than my entire 50 years combined. For a few hours I was begging God to give her back to me. Very unrealistic expectation. For some reason, I think I really needed to go thru this.
Our furry friends are very special. I still cry once in a while over my cats passing 3 years ago.
A healing journey?
Pain and loss is a very personal journey. It takes about 18 months to process grief, according to Compassionate Friends (a support group for parents coping with the loss of a child). I have lost a child, and my loving dog. Its the same grief.
I'm so sorry for the losses you've experienced. I can't even imagine. Please take care of yourself.
I am so sorry for your loss. 😔. And what happened because of it.
I had a “nervous breakdown” it was so scary due to prolonged narcissistic abuse. I am not experiencing any symptoms now over one year no contact. It was the scariest experience I ever went through besides near death. To me the symptoms were sever panic attacks, loss of reality, short term paranoia, extreme anxiety loss of appetite and crying and a general overall impending doom feeling following extreme exhaustion, physical full body trembling dizziness and wanting to be alone and self isolation and thoughts of suicide and fears of a reoccurring panic attack in the future.
If you realize your defiantly in a relationship with a narcissist you can escape you can heal you can have a new life and you will feel happy and love again. You will have your joy back when you just accept your not the problem solver and your worthy of a healthy life. Side bar: my timing belt just fell of my van and I had to abandon my vehicle tonight and fix it once the parts store opens tomorrow, it’s so funny you used that analogy ;)
I'm kind of new to here (referred by favorite colleague), but I love this channel.
I appreciate your story of narcissistic abuse. I filed for a divorce from my narcissistic husband many years of mental financial emotional abuse!!! I have custody of my kids with autism spectrum disorder. Your absolutely right you can't help THESE people. They will destroy your value of life!!! Thanks I appreciate your courage and strength to tell your story. Much peace and blessings happiness peace of mind. 👍👏👏😊 it's not our problem to fix narcissistic ppl.
Hugs!!! I understand!
How did your vehicle repair go?
Exactly what happened to me. After 25 years of narcissistic abuse. I developed agoraphobia and severe panic attacks. My reality wasn't real. I wished for death. Five years later, I was well enough to make him leave. The awakening is like walking through hell. How many years were you in that relationship? Blessings and love.
I know someone who had a nervous breakdown after losing her daughter. She never recovered and has never been the same. She just stopped eating and had to be hospitalized. Since then she has remained in a depressed state with a flat affect most of the time. All of the bubbly effervesence she once had is gone.
I find this to be a sad, but necessary topic.
Thank you Dr Grande. I think you spelled that out quite well. 🌹👍
That is so sad
After my husband died unexpectedly, it took 6 years for me to recover from the shock, grief, loss...
@@dantescave1 My heart goes out to you (from New Zealand). I am certain that our minds can over load and something breaks. Such a breakage takes years to heal and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Can you make a compound fracture less painful or go away by thinking about your other unbroken limbs? No. And most people simply don't understand. I hope your healing is now complete. If not, I am thinking about you from far away.
MrJohnverkerk ❤️
you are so very kind and understanding. I am surprised you understand this...I thought I did, until it happened to me personally. I am healed now, thank you. I was shocked at not being able to overcome my grief, having been taught that a person’s Will was the more powerful force, able to overcome adversity with the right character, values, perseverance. I believed I was someone who would always weather adversity well! Of course, now I perfectly comprehend that such beliefs are a kind of ‘magical’ thinking. Anyone can be broken..It was a very unwelcome discovery however! At first I believed there must be a serious flaw in my character. I embarked on a journey to discover that flaw so I could end the suffering of grief. There was no flaw, and nothing I could fix, I helplessly had to wait for time to do its work.
When you are overwhelmed by anxiety or misfortune, you should take a step back, knowing the fact that you have had similar experiences before and you know that you made it through. Believe in yourself, and nothing will stand in your way.
👏👏👏
@@toolboxevolution7456 yes.. some clearity .. a deep breath .. some reality .. they don't have to matter.. you do.. right now ..'
Not exactly helpful for single parents overwhelmed and not even able to poop in peace during these Covid times. We can admit to needing help, but its not likely we'll get it.
Really? Cuz I'm going blind due to a rare eye disease I never even knew existed. It's so rare there's no studies or treatments because not enough people have the disease so they will not fund studies for the 1 in 40000 who have it. I have a TBI and slowly dying as well. I can no longer see my kids (or anyone's) facial features, peripheral vision doesn't exist to me. Even with the little things I can figure out I never know where I am to even go for a walk. My other senses are so strong they are disturbing & offensive. They almost hurt. I can no longer drive, leave home by myself, or be by myself which is important to me. I have painful treatments and iv infusions. I'm on so many meds that make me feel horrible, have horrible side effects and make me out of it. All of this is the easy stuff and not nearly everything. I no longer have control over my life nor do I have one. I had to stop my career I loved. I couldn't get my master's to be a school psychologist. I've never even seen colors.
@@lkjonez13 I’m not really sure what I can possibly say other than I see you and your struggle and I hope you can find as much peace and joy in the truly important things in life. Keep going until you can’t go on anymore and leave a positive legacy with your children. I’m going through my own hell at the moment. I’ll keep going too.
Thank you for helping me to understand what my daughter suffered when she had a breakdown. She used to telephone me telling me she couldn’t live anymore. She did it so often that I moved from Florida up to Vermont in order to take care of her. When I saw her, she would break out into sobbing, shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. I am shaking, could not be left alone and followed me from room to room, again, breaking out with sobbing. I could not find a local psychiatrist in Vermont to see her. I wound up going to the emergency psychiatric facility at Dartmouth Hitchcock Hospital in Lebanon New Hampshire where they took her immediately. She had a kid anxiety and depression and treated her with Clonopin and Effexor. It took One year for her to regain some control. It took many more years for her to be able to enter a store with me, or be among people, or to be left alone. 20 years later she still has anxiety and is on medication but thank goodness she no longer wants to die to escape her anxiety and depression. Thank you so much, Dr. Grande. Your videos and podcasts are incredibly satisfying, interesting and understandable . the sound of your voice is extremely comforting. I so appreciate your not talking down to your listeners. Please continue with your work and thank you for sharing your knowledge with us.
Wow your poor daughter. Glad she made it through. What a trial. People are just awful
My understanding of a "nervous breakdown differs slightly from the description in the article. Certainly the nervous breakdown is triggered by stress, but the duration of the stress reaction may or may not be "time-limited." Someone might have a nervous breakdown and never return to full function, or the breakdown may make the person more likely to have another. Also, the person having the nervous breakdown may or may not have a prior mental disorder. A prior mental disorder may make a person more vulnerable to a nervous breakdown.
Totally agree
I agree with this… I wish there was a way to get the loved one back to where they were before it happened..
@@atdepaulis pray
I AGREE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN. I HAD A "nervous breakdown" DUE TO WORK RELATED STESS THAT BECAME TOO MUCH TO BEAR. LOOKING BACK THERE WERE SIGNS THAT I WAS HEADED FOR A BREAKDOWN. I LEFT WORK ONE DAY ATFER HAVING BEEN THROUGH TREMENDOUS STRESS AND PRESSURE FROM MANAGEMENT FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME. I LEFT WORK ONE DAY AND WAS NEVER ABLE TO RETURN PER MY DOCTOR'S INSTRUCTIONS. I HAVE NEVER BEEN THE SAME AS I WAS PRIOR TO MY BREAKDOWN. THIS IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME BECAUSE WAS ALWAYS ABLE TO DEAL WITH AND PUSH THROUGH THE STRESSES OF MY JOB PRIOR TO BEING TREATED SO HORRIBLY BY MY MANAGER. I DON'T ME TO BE VENGEFUL, BUT, I HOPE KARMA DOES EXIST FOR THOSE THAT DERSERVE IT.
@@kathycabral5489 I think bosses who mistreat their employees have a lot of problems themselves.
Definitely with this pandemic and a lot of other personal stressors going on, I had an intense panic attack mid July that had me in fight or flight for months. Developed anxiety and panic disorder that left my nervous system extremely sensitized. Now I’m slowly but surely healing but it’s the toughest battle of my life: not sure if this ties in as a nervous breakdown but it’s definitely affected my nervous system. God bless every and anyone going thru this. You’re stronger than you think
Whilst I understood that a nervous breakdown isn't a term used now, I always assumed it was a term used years ago by doctors. My mother had what she always described as a nervous breakdown 40 years ago and I'm sure she said this is what the doctors told her that she had experienced. Although something could have been lost in translation here.
My mother wandered out of a supermarket without paying for her shopping, but when confronted, the staff realised something was seriously wrong with her. Luckily they called the authorities who admitted her to hospital and took my sister and I into care. My mother was experiencing catatonic depression, suffered with dry eyes (because she hardly blinked) and an inability to feel pain. She said that it would take ages for her to light a cigarette but then she would just let it burn down to her fingers and she wouldn't even feel it. She had to re learn even simple things like making a cup of tea (which left her exhausted afterwards) and spent two years in a psychiatric ward.
I know that she experienced severe panic attacks at some point in those two years also but that's about the extent of my knowledge. Unfortunately she still wasn't very well when she was released and I was returned to her. She never seemed to fully recover mentally and had severe depressive episodes for the rest of her life. Apparently, she was a fun loving, bright and enthusiastic person until her 'breakdown.' I wonder how differently things may have turned out if she was treated nowadays.
Although the saddest part is that she was left on her own with two children and no support, meaning no one noticed how ill she had become to begin with. She weighed 6 stone when she wandered out of the supermarket as she had stopped eating, so there were physical signs too. It speaks to how we really do need to take care of each other as a community and how damaging isolation can really be.
yes i believe the term was used back in the day. i remember in high school in the eighties a schoolmate told me her dad had a nervous breakdown. somehow I seem to remember understanding what she meant
Inability to cope. Inability to function. Hysteria. Regression. Maybe an inability to care for oneself. Temporary. These are a few of the "descriptors" that passed through my mind as I watched your video. As I recall, dimly, it was, many years ago, a fearful term; more like a colloquial word for a psychotic break. Screaming, the "men in the white coats," straight- jackets, "mental hospitals." And it was socially stigmatized. These days, my sense is that it's been almost normalized--as in: everyone deserves one; as soon as the rush is over, I'm going to take mine, etc.
Edit: I wanted to say something about "creative illness," a term I think originated with Freud or Jung, but I don't know enough about it (although I have read Jung's autobiographical writings, "Memories, Dreams, and Reflections" more than once, and so I know that he had an EXTRAORDINARILY creative approach to his nervous breakdown, or whatever it was). I try to approach my problems, small and large, creatively, and I think all of us should. We should study our problems; do something with them, make something of them, include them in our life's work. Sometimes a breakdown is more than just a breakdown; it's an opportunity, a door, a portal into all we've been missing.
I think your descriptions described nervous breakdown perfectly. I feel all those components need to come together for it to happen.
While in the ER for an anxiety attack due to direct report who was a bully, the Dr advised that I leave that company if I wanted to survive. Within 3 months, I had a complete breakdown that lasted a year, now understood as 'adjustment disorder'. The medical community needs to be more aware, like this ER Dr, to advise us because , at the moment, we are only able to focus on breathing, and we don't do that well either. I have only found a solution to stay home in my safe space until I am well enough to venture back out in the world. This video contents should be blasted so more people are aware of the terminology.
After my home burned down, I thought that I was having a nervous breakdown, I was feeling an amplified sense of overwhelming stress, that seemed to scramble my thought process for a brief period. I agree, being a mechanically minded person myself, It was like having a bunch of mixed up pieces, & not knowing how to reassemble them. It was my most stressful experience.
Great description. I've used that term to describe a time in my life at 16, years ago.
I have heard the same echo that breakdowns are just natures way of saying.... oops what you have been doing for a while is just not working and your brain flips the switch for you. It can be a good turning point if does not result in more chaos.
i had a nervous breakdown & feel the term captures what happened. i simply melted. I could no longer function. i left work and was never able to return in any meaningful way. i flopped on the couch for 18 months and it was all i could do to get my kids to school and many days I couldn't even do that. I've never been the same since when before I used to be the quintessential multitasking single parent high profile career woman who 'had' & 'did' it all. i was subsequently invalidity retired out of work at 40 when i could not keep either a government job down or one at a laundromat
I've had narcissistic abuse due to several things, I.have CPTSD. i crash when overwhelmed to stress, after many.years of stress and cruelty.
Same here. Stress brings freakouts. I used to be able to deal with things logically. It sucks!
The comment you made in the video about how much more stressful it would be to think about ALL of the steps of changing a timing belt at once, instead of just one step at a time is really helpful to me thanks.
I am grateful to have come through a mental breakdown. It could have easily finished me.
It takes me 1/2 a day to complete a simple household chore, I no longer function correctly. if I make a plan, I get extremely, overwhelmed, trying to get ready, am very late. I randomly Burt out crying & hide from everyone. Thank you Dr.
I hope you are better now! Did anything help?
Thanks Dr. Grande. This helps a lot. My mom had two nervous breakdowns as my family called it. One in front of my eyes. She literally started hallucinating. A few days after she was admitted to the hospital she seemed fine. Now I understand what this was. I knew she was under a lot of stress at the time but I didn't know why it happened to her.
I grew up hearing this term. I thought of it as someone not able to function usually relating to was was termed Axis I such as depression, anxiety, or panic. The key is that someone cannot function day to day.
My understanding is that a Nervous Breakdown is caused by outside , real world issues becoming totally overwhelming . As opposed to a mental disorder could be biological or Spiritual in nature . Thanks for the info on adjustment Disorder, this will be helpful for my communication with my counselor . 😊
I had such a breakdown and the therapists told me I was mentally ill. But this is not the case. They didn´t understand in what position I have been for three years. I was STRESSED! I had a narcissitic partner who made my life a MESS! I never was depressed, full of anxiety ect before. I couldn´t cope any longer! So..
Narcissism seems to be a common problem in modern society
@@paulden3158 it's all over
Narcissists make a person very ill, they destroy you
A nervous breakdown in my experience is anxiety, panic attacks,
depression, insomnia, inability to function, derealization, that’s what happened to me. It almost killed me. I took antidepressants and benzodiazepines. It took me many years to recover.
I had a mental breakdown from years of stress and abuse, untreated anxiety and depression and then immigrating to a new country. I think breakdowns are often caused by prolonged, severe or multiple sources of stress. The breakdown lasted 2 years until I was finally able to get help (medication and counseling)
The breakdown totally changed me..I didn't recognize myself..I would get extreme rage, frequent mood swings, severe depression, crippling anxiety, I'd cry every day, (often all day) etc
My new husband stood by me even though I was unbearable to live with. I would rage at him, slam doors, say awful things to him, have extreme frequent mood swings like a roller coaster, get anxious and paranoid over minor things...every day was HELL. When you can't take anymore stress, and/or an underlying mental health disorder becomes too much, you break.
I'm not the same person I was before the breakdown. My mind doesn't function properly. I have difficulty concentrating (and speaking at times).
I've lost my bubbly carefree nature. I used to be an extrovert, now I often wish to be alone, and people irritate me. But, I'm grateful for the people who held my head above water and told me 'it WILL get better, hang in there'
Very informative. When I was 10 years old I was had told by my mother that a neighbor “had a nervous breakdown”. When I asked her what that was she told me that the woman had wrapped her refrigerator in a blanket because it was cold. That she was subsequently institutionalized for a time. Sounds like this was not what is usually meant by a” nervous breakdown” at all.
Maybe it's what she thought you would understand and didn't want to use a term like "went crazy". I was about that age when Mom told me a neighbor lady had a breakdown. Reflecting back it was more that she just couldn't cope with a drunken husband, raising four boys and trying to be the good housewife.
The good news, hubby stopped drinking and started to help raise the boys after her hospital stay.
She probably had a psychotic break. The nervous breakdown comes from stressful events or shocking situations.
Is it possible that if what people experience when they say they had a nervous breakdown was a psychological return to a more primal level of emotion? I relate to the term only once. No psychosis. No delusions or any such thing, nothing like PTSD, personally I couldn’t even term it depression or anxiety. Just a complete feeling of being stripped of any coping mechanism. A rawness. A few years back I was told I had cancer (the MRI said so) by an oncologist. I had laparoscopic surgery and was told I would be sent an appointment to discuss treatment. A week later I received an appointment for 3 months into the future. I coped reasonably well for about 2mths, then one day I sat on the stairs and fell apart, sobbing extremely deeply, curling my knees up to my chest. No one was at home, and I didn’t want anyone to fix me, comfort me or anything. Need or want was gone. Rock bottom tanked out. That passed within a couple of hours after which I accepted my diagnosis. Fully. Eventually I had my appointment and literally passed out cold when I was told “sorry, we made a mistake, you don’t have cancer”. I’m sharing this not because I really want it public, but because it might help you and others to hear what some of us would term a nervous breakdown. Thank you very much for sharing this video, Dr Grande. I’ve missed quite a lot lately due to long work hours. Have a very happy day ☺️
❤️
not that i wanted to make this public either, but had a similarly stressful situation(no pass out thankfully, but i dropped my purse). Planned Parenthood: general pap smear, urine test done beforehand. The moment I leave the bathroom after passing the specimen through the little slot inside the restroom, a nurse is waiting right outside the door. She is beaming and happily says, "You're pregnant Mommy!" This is when my purse fell to the ground&I started feeling faint. I was in my mid-thirties, bf was told by a doc@age 18 it would be unlikely he would be able to get anyone pregnant due to low sperm count, but he had made it clear he did not want children. In the waiting room b4 giving the sample, I had to fill out a questionnaire about what my wishes were for the baby if I was pregnant. I filled in the radio button that said I wanted to keep it. He was looking over my shoulder and said, "Are you sure?"
All kinds of thoughts were racing through my head: "How could they possibly check my sample so quickly? Am I going to end up a single Mother working two jobs just like my own Mother did when I was a latch-key kid? How am I going to be able to afford this situation I was never expecting on my $7/hr grocery store cashier wage? I don't have health insurance. How do I tell my bf? Do I tell my bf? What is my Mother going to think since she hates my bf?
I am sat down inside a back room with the door closed about to call my Mother w/the good news when the door opens. Prior to this, they would not stop calling me "Mommy" while taking my blood pressure as I was having a panic attack. Nurse Ratchet told me to calm down and "think about the baby." The door opens, it's a different nurse. She apologizes and tells me the urine samples got mixed up and I actually am not pregnant. The call to my Mother was just seconds away from going through. I hang up on her. A wave of relief mixed with regret and remorse washes over me. "This means your $75 pap smear is going to be FREE on the house today!" I feel ambivalent in response. I wonder if this person is going to make a mistake during the pelvic examination and have anxiety about being a patient in this facility...but it's been years since I've had an exam, and I'm already here...and my bf is at the library waiting for me to call when I'm done. At least all I have to do is lie on a table. I clutch the welcome baby pack I was given for would-be mothers and get the exam. It goes swimmingly, thankfully. All Clear. As I leave the facility, the nurse who told me I was preggers tells me, "You don't have to tell your bf about this." Are you KIDDING ME???! I'm telling everyone: my co-workers, my family, anyone who will listen.
Then she notices the piece of paper I have in my hand that reads: Confirmation of Pregnancy. "We need that PAPER!." Without thinking I hand it to her and she IMMEDIATELY SHREDS IT! Then she eyes the welcome package for new mothers that contains an actual diaper. She wants this as well! I tell her I want to keep it and she lets me. I still feel like there may be a possibility I'm pregnant and wonder about getting a second opinion and was it a mistake to get the pap smear? For the next week, and months later...I am a basket case.
All the reading I've done on psychiatric disorders, and I've never heard of adjustment disorder. I'm diagnosed and being treated for ADHD and anxiety, but adjustment disorder perfectly describes what I'm feeling. I've always equated nervous breakdowns with panic attacks, which I have fairly regularly. I'll be discussing this with my ARNP at my next appointment.
Amanda, hope this helps. I started hearing about adjustment disorder in the late 80s/ early 90's while in a social work program and in basic psychology classes.
Thank you again for a very clear, informative and helpful explanation. key word for me is"overwhelmed." A word that I am sure resounds with many in our fast -paste society.
Fast-paced
@@bricy6437 Sorry, I'm terrible at spelling, even when I'm not "overwhelmed." Next time I'll ask a fifth grader.
@@bricy6437 if you are ever up for a serious spelling challenge you can go through my text messages. Lol
@@Estelle-Maureen Lol
@@carriemedina8244 don't apologise for that, you've done nothing wrong! :)
Nervous breakdowns are extremely painful. This is not something I hear others describing it. It takes a while to heal. Its frustrating to experience. Others say, just snap out of it. But you cant WILL yourself back to wellness. Much like recovering from a heart attack. It is a slow healing process to regain your emotional strength.
This entire playlist is so compassionate and specific, light hearted & absolutely extraordinary… ✨💕✨
My new favourite channel!! I’ve just learned something new. Thanks! 😊Adjustment Disorder. I had a ‘nervous breakdown’ and was sectioned. This followed years of psychological abuse and then my father died and my ex boyfriend commit suicide. I just couldn’t cope and my brain malfunctioned. My mind couldn’t process any more pain.
I think anybody can have a nervous breakdown, if you suffer enough losses at one time, it pushes you over the edge. I had a breakdown when I lost the love of my life, but it wasn't total, because I never stopped bathing or grooming myself, or eating. Oddly enough, I never could cry. I cried inwardly, but wasn't able to shed tears, which is unusual for me.
You suffered a loss it takes time to heal Friends help us heal and prayer take care
ironically this has calmed me down from my "nervous breakdown" from the very bad anxiety attack that I just had
Wonderful description of the term "nervous breakdown". I personally used this term to describe a year in my life after my loving husband of 43 yrs pass away from an illness. About a month after he passed I felt like I'd been hit by a truck emotionally and that extreme emotion took about 2 months to slowly get better to a livable grief. Thank you Dr. Grande, when I look back on that time, you describe it perfectly.
I had Nervous Breadown 2002, when my husband was diagnose of Psycosomatic Illness 2001. Since 2017 I have Depression. Thank you for your explanation. I learn many good lessons and advice from you.
I have been following you for many months; this is one of your finest presentations. You probably helped millions of people understand the normal experience of adjustment disorder. Kudos to you !
Great description of the nervous breakdown due to overwhelming life circumstances . Thank you doctor. Invaluable insight into a very serious and common mental issue.
indeed. i had a "nervous breakdown" in 2007. my mother died and i had to take over the care of my dad who didn't get along with my husband and i was dealing with their issues till dad went to an (superb) adult foster home. it was about 2 years after my mother died and one day i simply couldn't do anything. it was like unplugging a radio. i felt like i weighed a million pounds, had a minimal appetite, sleep was not refreshing, and it lasted 6 weeks. it took some time to get back in mental shape. i do have depression (treated), but this was something else altogether. thanks for the information.
btw: i drive a 1978 toyota corolla.
This information is really helpful and it is comforting in a way because Dr. Grande gives valid reasons for emotional meltdowns and shutdowns. Stress is a very real thing. I had a meltdown last week, from feeling the pressures of selling & buying a house, moving 3000 miles, dealing with COVID-19, having financial challenges, graduating from college, and losing my 5-year-old pet in death,.. all within 6 months.
I don't think I had an adjustment "disorder," though because I feel that my psychological response was very natural. Anyone who goes through a lot of stress in a short time is going to have an adjustment issue. I just needed to step back a bit, count my blessings, and pick myself back up. I sure wished that I could have spoken with a counselor at the time though.
I agree with your description. Car trouble w fear it won't pass inspection even though a lot of $$ has been spent, an upcoming surgery where there's fear that the presently tamed Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome will be triggered, plumbing problems requiring $$ you don't have, harassment from a neighbor, untreated severe Central Sleep Apnea w a recalled CPAP machine that is not working, ADHD adding to being behind on paperwork including taxes even though money is owed rather than due ... The list goes on yet it's too depressing to keep listing more. This video is the best description I've seen or heard.
I found your explanation to be kind and generous. Non specialists don’t talk technically and can’t be expected to. The professional can tease out what the person means. Thank you.
my ex dumped me before because he felt depressed during our long distance relationship. As a psychology student, I felt awful and was accepting of the breakup as I was far more worried about his mental health and well-being. I organised our whole separation process e.g. Taking my stuff from his apartment, removing contact, removing our legal obligation (which he was not co-operating with me for 3months). And in the end, I realise he didn't even think through what he said. He never thought of the consequence of using such words and actually losing me. He admitted that he didn't actually wanted to break-up and he wasn't totally depressed.... Omg. So yes - also frustrates me when people can blatantly use terms for disorders or mental illnesses to describe their short-term 'sadness'. Anyways thank you Dr. Grande! I educate myself more by listening to your videos at work:)
For years I thought it was a point of pride to be the person that was told, “I don’t know how you do it” on a regular basis. It became my gauge to know when I might be slacking.
This is not a good long term plan and I had what I consider a “mental breakdown”.
I was caring for my mother who was losing her battle with cancer. I was caring for my teenager with nonverbal autism and seizures. At the same time I was being triangulated and in a terrible relationship.
One day I tried to get medication my son needed and couldn’t.
It was the straw… it was like my ability to hold any more fear worry loss or emotional pain was at capacity. I lost my ability to speak and couldn’t drive anywhere. It was like the world was a different place and I no longer knew how to navigate in it. I tried to call family and was able to say where I was, my son is sitting in the back of my car this whole time. My sister showed up to take me to the hospital and as soon as she asked me a question this sound came out of me I had never heard from anyone. I have only realized today what the sound was and it has been 6 years. It was keening. In the hospital someone asked a question and I started keening again.
I was given an injection of Ativan and it all stopped and I was able to speak and everything else. I went to a doctor and was told that wasn’t a mental breakdown. At the same time she told me I was close to losing myself. I’m not sure of the difference.
I’ve never experienced this again and wonder what exactly it is.
This is exactly what I needed! I’ve been trying to explain this to others. Thank you for taking the time to do these :) Your videos are so easy to follow and I love your calm demeanor.
Very insightful! My mother, a senior citizen, is having some trouble with something like this. She has not been given an official diagnosis, but I often think that she's having "a breakdown". I was unable to put any other terms to it. This video helps a lot.
Nervous breakdown is the most simple description of the physiological experience. Simplicity is healing in itself.
I've had several nervous breakdowns. Every time I have one I loose something. My personality changes permanently. My memory doesn't work well since the last one ten years ago. The first one took out religion. The second one I can't remember what I lost but after the last one ten years ago, I started having memory issues and I stopped listening to music for years. I used to have music on ALL THE TIME and for years I didn't want music on. There were other changes that like I said I forgot. My mom's side of the family has breakdowns. Everyone who has them on that side of the family reports damage. They pick up things like stammers in speech inability to access words and memories reliably etc. SO I don't buy this. Someone has to characterize the problem better but we can't do that if there is nothing but denial because denial never goes looking for a cure.
Excellent way to show how sometimes we know exactly what one is trying to express when using this term despite it not being an official diagnosis. The challenge is to determine the degree.
I was sexually abused by my adoptive mother. At the age of 20 I saw a clip of a movie ,Sybil, that depicted this type of abuse. I remember my mind "breaking" right then. I was hospitalized in a deeply depressed and comatose state. I've always just revered to it as a nervous breakdown.
Was the clip the scene where the mom was giving the daughter an enema.
So sorry to hear you were sexually abused and you are suffered a breakdown.I have seen the film Sybil.
OMG You poor thing. I saw that movie and it horrified me. I'm so sorry you had that happen to you. Trauma just never completely goes away. I know that for a fact now, since I had several and kept trying to 'walk through it'. People don't understand unless they've "been there"
I'm not buttering your muffin, Dr Grande but I really wish you were my therapist. I really don't know of a human being that makes as much sense as you do and as fair and objective. Thanks for being you and sharing all your insight
Spot on! You described exactly what I went thru 15 years ago. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
I enjoy your channel
My first husband was a narcissistic abuser who committed suicide 12 years ago
My second husband ( not a narcissist) passed away suddenly six weeks ago
Can you address severe grief and how to survive/move beyond severe grief?
Julie Shedron I’m sorry for your loss . Sit with your grief and one day create space for that feeling
I lost a year of my life due to the death of my husband. Grief certainly aggravated my MDD and anxiety.
So sorry Julie. What a shocking loss. It is good to find you reaching out here on Dr. Grande's channel ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤ Wishing you all the best!
Lol maybe everyone die because not fault of them.. maybe fault of u
Excellent, I can see this will be very helpful to a lot of people
Very helpful. I have heard this term all my life, and now understand it as a response to overwhelming stressors.
Quit a few years ago my sister suffered from what many called a nervous breakdown. She was 8 months pregnant and came home one evening with her little 8 month old daughter near Christmas to find her husband had hanged himself. For several months we had to take care of her and her daughter, then her little newborn. My sister was physically and mentally unable to function. She had a complete collapse and needed psychiatric treatment for a few months.
So many things you said describing what is meant by the term "breakdown" fit perfectly! It was an incredibly terrible and painful time, but it wasn't a state that still exists today.
Nervous breakdown .... I had one. Helplessness, hopelessness, emptiness, emotions with lack of words or ways to express them plus no emotional support in sight when I found out my 14 yr. old son was sick. Yes, I did lose my mind temporarily and if my son hadn’t needed me I can’t say I would have been able to gather the pieces of myself up or even had the desire to do so. I wasn’t the same nor have I ever fully recovered from my breakdown..., my personality changed completely and I suffer from PTSD as well. Also diagnosed with BPD type II comorbid BPD.
Thank you for this video Dr. Grande. Can you please do a video regarding when a person loses their resiliency to keep recovering from extreme traumatic events. This is only a handful of experiences of mine. My parents trying to drown me in the ocean. Losing 8 friends to suicide, my neck being fractured. Even so, I still kept rebounding & decently recovering. Finally a last straw was my only brother dying from abuse from these parents & then my husband deceiving me. We are still together & things worked out, yet, I have a flat affect & have never regained my grounding. Something within me broke. Even my voice inflection changed to more monotone. I have some recordings of me talking from before my brother's horrible death & my voice is lively and it is literally like listening to another person of days long past. I feel like I literally died inside from who I used to be. I am not giving up though, but it is like I am doing time in some waystation between who I used to be & how I may become in my future. This is the best way I can explain all of this. I know many people commenting on your channel have had more than their fair share of extreme happenings that have brought them here attempting to get their bearings back. I would like to know how you would frame this. Your ideas might very well be helpful to myself & others.
Thank you for reading what I shared Dr. Grande. There is one thing I forgot to say that is relevant. It has been over 5 1/2 years now since my brother died & my husband deceived me. Just to make clear that it wasn't recent & I have never been the same again. It is like the person I was does not exist anymore and maybe never will come back. This limbo type state leaves me feeling very lost & uncomfortable. I rarely feel even momentary happiness & feel trapped within myself.
Fascinating comment. You sound stronger than so many out there. Hope you're having a great day today at least. :)
@@ciganyweaverandherperiwink6293 Thank you so much. 😊 💓 Your comment just made my day. Perfect timing to hear from someone who is wishing me well. I hope you are having a nice day.
@@cheatednomore6430 i’m sorry you’ve experienced such terrible things 😲. I don’t know the answer to your question, but 10 years ago I experienced a major depression that lasted about a year. I thought I was never going to recover from it, and it took a long, long time for me to start to feel like myself again. There is still a difference though. I used to have great intuition, and I lost it completely. I’ve only got about 5% of it back. It’s hard because that was my navigational system in life. I’m glad that I feel grounded in myself again. It’s something that I’ll never take for granted. I’m wondering if it would help you to see a grief therapist? It sounds like you’ve been around some very creepy people and have been through so many losses that it might help to talk to someone about it if you haven’t. What you’ve experienced is so intense, I hope that you’re able to get the answers that you need so that you can come home to yourself.
@@attheranch873 Thank you Birdsong 😊 You just took the time to leave me such a beautiful & caring message. I do know what you mean regarding losing your intuition & navigation system. I truly believe that it will come back to you incrementally to exceed way more than 5%. When the life-force is zapped from depression and other similar taxing situations the intuition we have is siphoned away. I can't tell you what a blessing your message is to me. It is like a message from a kindred spirit. I was born with psychic abilities and that includes intuition. They have all but flatlined when depression has taken over. I still get some messages when I have been taxed beyond my limit, but not as many. I like the idea of a grief therapist. I also like the idea of a trauma therapist. Because my parents, who should have been in prison, got everyone to believe that I and my brother were lying about their abuse NO ONE helped us. They even abducted me when I was 21 when I went on the run to hide in another city to get away from them & threw me into their car & took me back to their house. Police did not help me, in high school when a counselor tried to get help for me to be removed from their home, the person above her told her he would not allow it because my father was wealthy & he did not want a lawsuit. Doctors knew I was being abused and refused to report it. This is why I feel it would be useless to get any type of therapy. Where do you find a therapist who actually bothers to believe the person trying to get help. 🤔 I am still considering it though. I really like your name. Birdsong is such a peaceful name. I have always loved birds. I saw 2 huge red tailed hawks fly over our porch yesterday. I also saw 3 California Condors fly directly in front of my bedroom window last year. They are magnificent birds. Their wingspan blows your mind (it is roughly 9.5 feet) We live above a beautiful wash in the hills and there are so many birds. I saw 2 owls last night & a falcon. I hope you have a wonderful evening 💜
Makes sense to me. As a retired reformed hardcore mainstream mediciner this one dig demonstrates how an in-touch and curious psychologist can uncover data lost in the vapor of public misnomers, possibly opening up a new source for informative, peer-reviewed publications.
Thank you for such a compassionate and empathetic video. I appreciate your ability to look at things from various perspectives.
Thank you Dr Grande this term puzzled and frightened me for years. It seems as if, reading the comments that the suffering at the hands of Narcissistic abusers is mainly the cause of this type of suffering. I had a similar episode after the birth of my baby years ago. It was very painful and it took a while to recover but thankfully has never happened again. I am just so thankful that there is is much information open to us about Narcissistic abuse now. These people are underhand and the abuse is often subtle but devastating. It’s the price of being a loving and innocent person. We need to arm ourselves and carry on our loving but wiser outlook.
A few years ago, I was under an incredible amount of stress. And then one day I had a seizure. A big one. I was sick and confused for days afterward. My doctor told me that sometimes someone is just so stressed that they can have a one-off seizure without warning or history. I always considered this a mental breakdown.
I totally had a nervous breakdown! I refer to it, though, as brown out because 1) I worked wounded for a long time, a year and a half before I went out on FMLA 2) then had to work practically full time for another two years to win my federal disability case! I had to "heal" whilst on the run- I did not have the luxury of break down, no spouse, no live-in support, had to pay my rent etc. Did not get to rest for quite a while, really. And even then, there is no real relaxing b/c disability is not permanent, I have to keep up my care and not become complacent in s system that does not care and will excrete me if it can when I get reviewed. Plus, oh, yeah, gotta look for that disability housing! That's a job in a crazy housing scene. I appreciate that I don't have a schedule anymore, and I can be lazy, but... i also worked wounded in a work society that values having a headache as a badge of toughness. I have a super complex set of feelings about being disabled, some it a big FU to hurting myself to not look like I couldn't handle a headache in front of other people working with headaches. ha AAA! OK, now I'll watch the video haha THANK DR> GRANDE!
May be a video examining the feelings and attitudes toward life that someone goes through we may become disabled.?
Dr Grande, you just cured my Nervous Breakdown! (for the moment) Thanks!
Nervous breakdown = relationship with a narcissist
Αn Aquarius specifically 👏👏👏👏
Ai Love Yeshua I did too. So awful.
Had both.
I never knew a person could have so many over and over. I figured you would would end up sitting in a straight-jacket drooling. Now that I think about it, thats basically what DOES happen but the whole damn relationship is the straight-jacket! And the effects on the brain have shown to be similiar to someone that gets a concussion. 🤕
@@ertaskwn Yes, one of my past narcs was an Aquarius. Ive had more than my share including a Sagittarius and a Libra but the Aquarius was the WORST. He would admit himself into impatient psych wards or join support groups and then prey on vulnerable women. I had been through 16 years of abuse and went in the hospital with a black eye and a "breakdown". The meds they gave me made me sick. I was in a group session and they wouldnt let me leave to lay down. This total stranger stood up and announced he was helping me get to my room. And went on to admonish them for being insensitive and even negligent by not attending me. And when I left he gave me his number in case I needed help in any way. Almost immediately, the abuse started back up when I got home and guess who I called? Biggest mistake of my life. Truly a psychopath.
Exellent explanation of this term, my mother has had several "Nervous Breakdowns" and all the symptoms you mentioned in Adjustment Disorder fit perfectly. Thank You for this Video
When I had to put my dog to sleep, I came home, and just broke down crying, whereby I couldn't catch my breath, and felt I could not go on. This behavior went on for some days. I felt I was having a nervous breakdown. And one time when I was young we had a family picnic and my father was drinking and picking on my mother to the point that she came into the kitchen and collapsed to the floor crying. We all went to her and calmed her down, That's what I always considered nervous breakdowns to be.
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I had always wondered how do you know if you are having a nervous breakdown and what it actually means. Finally I have a good answer!
I was once diagnosed with adjustment disorder, so I now get the idea what it's like.
I was experiencing terrible pain that I could not express, but it came to the level that just broke me to the point that I was laughing at it for 3 days and cried it finally out for years
I was 14 when my collapse occurred. I’ve always thought it was me being weak. Our family was so dysfunctional with mom being so high on the mod spectrum and all the men in and out...tyvm
Npd not mod
One of the things that makes for an enjoyable lecture is when the speaker remembers that listeners may not be familiar with industry language. The way he slipped in the definition of etiology (thanks, btw) made me think "Skillful teacher!"
"Borrowing worry". A new term learned that I definitely did in a attempted relationship before you knew it wasn't on the same plateau of reasoning. That would now be a huge red flag to cease rather than chasing an illusion of eventual demise.
Nervous/mental breaks are like a gateway for all other symptoms of the anxiety/depression spectrum. I got severely overloaded with school and a really ugly breakup (like really ugly), and my minor social/general anxiety morphed into full-blown panic disorder with a lot of OCD thoughts/tendencies and reoccuring derealization. It's like whatever your baseline is for your day-to-day mood, getting to a crisis point takes that baseline and multiplies it exponentially to a point where you miss your normal level of anxiety. And the worst part about it all is the ingrained conviction that you're fucked forever, and that the sun will never shine again and that you'll forever remain a shell of your "former self". Quite the spooky experience, especially when it drags on for 6+ months. Definitely encourage anyone in that dark place to stay away from self-medicating cuz all that'll do is add layers of anxiety and depression along with multiplying the confusion about life and who/what you are.
A breakdown is really a breakthrough.
I think so too . a moment.. clearity ..
where, .. if you're really paying attention w' some coping skills.. you can see it for what it is ... it's them .. not you ..
Not necessarily. Those I’ve met who have experienced conditions considered a “breakdown” suffer them after becoming so overwhelmed by every one of life’s issues bearing down on them at once. Rather than a “breakthrough” it’s akin to “the straw that broke the camel’s back”.
The problems are still there, but the mental framework that had been balancing so many on a knife edge has crumbled and refuses to be rebuilt
Wow I never saw it this way
I am so glad you fixed that for me.
@Renee Hust
You’ve taken the Landmark Forum, haven’t you?
Have often wondered about the definition of a nervous breakdown; think I've had one or two during times of major unremitting stress. Thanks.
Elizabeth when I had one I was crying uncontrollably that’s definately a sign ,another you feel you are going to. blow your top
Thank you for that excellent explanation. It shows the importance of getting professionally evaluated and treated in order to mitigate suffering.
I learn a lot from your videos and appreciate your generosity.
I imagine we'll see a lot of "nervous breakdown"/Adjustment Disorder during this pandemic.
I find Dr. Grande very validating.
So true i am going throw it now 🙏🏾
My job is having this effect on me atm. I have a stressful job and it makes me feel depressed. I usually rely on my auto pilot to get me through, but my auto pilot has become broken. I've never experienced this before and I'm at the end of the line in regards to my work I think. I can't continue feeling this way as it's scary.
I understand. I hope that since you wrote this that you have moved on from your toxic job....It's not easy, I know because I had to move on after over 30 years.
You're the real deal Dr. Grande! So glad to have discovered your videos, I've been bingewatching daily. Thank you❤
Thank you for the explanation, I found this video very interesting and informative, also delivered in a manner I was able to understand.
You have just answered SO many questions that I have had about my experience with a "nervous breakdown" early in my first semester of college (away from home) back in 1972. It was definitely triggered by a specific event (nothing violent or invasive) causing prolonged emotional and physical pain sufficient to send me to see a school psychiatrist for help. I only saw her once (I did not get the feeling she could help me), and after about 5-7 days, I was back to feeling normal again. I have not experienced that since, but I have often wondered, "What the hell happened back then!?" Now I am fairly sure it would have been diagnosed as "adjustment disorder." And talking it through with a mental health counselor once or twice probably would have provided some helpful insights and a speedier recovery. As it was, I found it extremely frightening to be in that state. Thank you for the fantastic explanation!
So - would you go over the symptoms of a nervous breakdown / Adjustment disorder episode? Ty for addressing this topic.
Thanks for this video, Dr. Grande. I am a neuroscientist and until I saw this video I assumed a "nervous breakdown" was a catch-all term for depressive episodes, manic episodes, or psychotic episodes.
Well done. Approximately three decades ago I was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder (post-divorce plus relocating across the country).
Completely on my own and very young. I went to Dr., initially for feelings of anxiety. Fast forward four years ago worst ever symptoms due to weaning off of SSRI, enduring a huge move/relocation, overwhelmed was an understatement. Then to learn I really didn’t like the place we moved into where we invested so much… My focus was too much on what needed to be accomplished instead of taking it one step at a time one day at a time. I wish I had the “so what” attitude aka practicing the serenity prayer! I also wish I went onto alternative RX for anxiety and depression. But I’m back on bupropion and very low dosage of SSRI. My only concern now is because the way the world is that patients will perhaps be facing shortages of Rx. That would be a matter of life/death for many. I would then go back to substitute i.e.5HTP or SamE to boost serotonin and L tyrosine to boost L-dopamine. Hope my sharing helps someone else. Don’t know where I would be without good friends, comforting and supportive church body, power prayers and relationship with Holy Spirit incidentally Christ calls Him “the advocate” which Christ left 4us on earth. The “Advocate” translated from Latin is “Lawyer.” Advocate/Holy Spirit has our backs! He is our best defense while we are here. He is our counselor, guide, healer, Protector, comforter, 24/7 Companion, just for the asking to be baptized in the Holy Spirit inviting Christ into my life and heart has changed everything. No more confusion chaos. He provides:)
"Most mechanical work won't lead to a nervous breakdown." With the emphasis on the word "most" :)
My first symptoms were shaking and tremors in the mornings. Then I felt like I was watching myself going to work and I felt like I was a “ double negative “ of myself like in a photograph. I wanted to get OUT of my body but I didn’t want to die either. Upon waking in the morning I would run down the path behind my house in my pajamas until I threw up beside a tree. Then I let out these gutteral cries in the woods. I lost much of my body weight. I would scream and cry in my car alone. I prayed to God for peace. I am recovering slowly day by day after six years.
I had one. I lost my mom to suicide in 2019, then job and license all in one month! I went into the deepest depression ever. YOU MUST REACH OUT FOR HELP!
Nervous breakdowns can turn into a chronic disorder of the mind
Interesting indeed 👍🏾... I proffer the contemporary vernacular “meltdown”...
I'm glad this was covered, because I'd heard "nervous breakdown " used so much without it ever being clearly defined.
The part about dealing with problems, like the vehicle repair that requires several steps, is great all-around coping advice.
Nervous breakdown for me was everything broke and I was no longer the same person. I felt crippled and lost with no way back.
I’ve experienced this also, did you ever end up feeling like yourself again?
@@attheranch873 Me too. I've been 6 years into my losses with narc abuse. i still don't feel llike myself, but i do feel better. How about you?
How are you doing now 😊
It may not be a clinical term but a person can go to the ER for a nervous breakdown. I did not know this so many times I did not get the help I needed. I think part of the reason there is so many suicides and mass shooting is people don't know that they can go to the ER for a nervous breakdown. Some of them might have tried to get help from a private psychologist and found they could not afford it. I think there should be a course in wellness and mental health in high schools.
Dr. Grande is correct..we all use these terms while none of really know what they actually mean.
I've been having panic attacks / heart palpitations lately, really bad when driving and other stressful situations to the point where I couldn't work last week. when I'm home im fine. Im pretty sure it's stress related. My stresses have been piling up the past few months and that's an understatement. I also tend to burry things and keep trucking. I think its all comming up physically, mabey exacerbating a heart issue that normally goes unnoticed. Not sure but I do need to see a Dr. But if I had to describe it in a phrase I would say I'm having a nervous breakdown. My "nerves" are shot would be another phrase.
Yes this was interesting. I remember a story told to me as a child by my Grandmother. She was talking about the divorce of my Grandfather from his first wife and how it affected my Uncle, ( one of 5 children). I had asked questions about where my Grandma grew up and about why my Uncle had lived on her family farm for awhile. She told me my Uncle developed “ St. Vitas Dance” after the divorce and went to live at her family’s farm. I never knew what that meant but had funny ideas about it. My Dad finally explained that his brother had a “nervous breakdown”. My Grandma didn’t like how many questions I asked and was a proud person. I usually didn’t give up until I thought my questions were answered so I could understand. Have you heard of this before?
Thank you for doing this video.
I'd love to see a video differentiating adjustment disorder from major depressive disorder or generalized anxiety disorder.
I think anyone who has been through one, can honestly say that they HAD had a "nervous breakdown". That's exactly what it feels like, and there's no other term that quite describes it so well. Whether clinicians want to validate the term or not, it's real! The closest definition I could give is: losing the ability to COPE...with ANYTHING and everything becomes TOO MUCH. You are 100% correct in saying that it is a case of being all at once OVERWHELMED. I wanted to roll up into a little ball and disappear, not being able to deal with even one more tiny iota of life, because it was unbearable. In the moment, even breathing became too hard. In my case, it manifested by me bursting into tears at work and not being able to stop crying. We are talking embarrassingly loud, wailing, UGLY crying. I was only too grateful to agree with my supervisor that I needed mental help because I "couldn't seem to cope". My therapist wrote that I had had a depressive episode in response to several "noxious life circumstances". I told her I had had a nervous breakdown!
When I think someone is going threw a nervous breakdown I think of a scale one side is the good that's happening in your life and the other side is the bad.If the bad is out weighing the good by a large amount then it's like your knee if you put to much pressure on it its gonna cause an injury.Same with the brain.
Oh yes, nervous breakdown. Been there done that.
Agree. It’s over stimulus of a bunch of shit that rained down upon my shoulders, no help in sight. The mind / body literally disconnect and have no relationship with one another.
It’s a blackout without alcohol or drugs.
Crazy experience.