I needed to hear this. I get a lot of behaviors in my class because I have good classroom management, but I’m not going to lie, sometimes I feel like because I’m that teacher I get all the hard kids. It is mentally and emotionally draining.
Let me tell your something. I've been doing this for 30 years and that's what they do. I can manage but there is something called burn out. I love the challenges but I refuse to take all of them every year! You have to start saying no at some point. Do it and start this year from the first day of school. Please!
You can say yes to every request and the moment you say no it changes the whole dynamic at work. They don’t care about the teacher. They care more that they aren’t being called every day and that the kid is not in their office.
Gurrrll you need to be doing PDs across the nation. Not only do we need to learn to say no because of behaviors parents NEED to hear why. I’m sure this child was being moved to show that everything was being done to help them. BUT at the expense of the other childrens’ education and teachers peace?? No thank you!
@@OneFABTeacher I agree with R Aguilra, have you ever thought about doing a nationwide PD? I think a lot of teachers would be able to push on with your type of humble encouragement.
I'm so ready to blast this out to EVERYBODY... not just teachers. Thank you for sharing such a truthful and respectful way to help other people understand it's okay to say no.
The shade is real. I had a similar situation. Around October I got a student who was getting in fights (2nd grade) with another student in another classroom. Come December admin comes and tells me I’m getting his fighting friend since I helped the first student “flourish in a healthy classroom environment” I said no even though they didn’t ask my input. I had to call HR and make a whole deal 🙄 they started making me feel like I couldn’t help behavior students….no, end of the day it’s student success and we are not punching bags. Preach May!
I am so glad 😊 you applied boundaries! You are right about not people pleasing. It is so sad that teachers are being gas lighted about how much teachers can really handle. At the end of the day, it's about mental health. When I taught kindergarten '18-'19,(1st year) that was a down fall for me. Then, it turned into burnout and family issues at home. I chose to leave and take care of family issues. Saying yes all the time can eventually turn into mental and emotional trauma issues. Thank God for you. 😍
I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I ended up in the hospital 3 years ago year due to stress-induced illness. That was the beginning of my setting boundaries with admin on all kinds of issues. Keep speaking the truth, Miss May ❤️
“And I know there’s only one person I’m gonna have to meet at the end of the day, and that’s my Lord and Savior!” AMEN! Me too sister! ❤️ Thank you for this!
YOU IS SO RIGHT! IT IS OKAY TO SAY "NO!!!" I WORK AT DAYCARE FOR OVER 23 YEARS SAME ONE AND THEY TELL ME THE SAME THING AS THEY WAS TELLING YOU. YOU CAN DO IT THE KIDS LOVE YOU, YOU HAVE YOUR ROOM STRUCTURE AND THEY LOVE IT BUT " NO! MEANS NO!!!" HAVE A BLESSED WEEKEND.
Great advice as always. It is so true that you have to have healthy boundaries AND no one has your back but JESUS! People want what they want but Jesus wants what’s best for you, always. Love you girl!
Thanks for sharing this reality that we live dayly. I used to please people before bu,t one day I realised that nobody was pleasing me , since that day I started to say "NO" without feeling guilty. Also I read a book about this topic, may years ago.
Well said Ms May. I experienced the same issue here in Jamaica. I was having serious breathing issues due to ill health and my principal was adamant that I leave my class with less students and supervise two classes which had about 70 students, because their teachers were absent. After explaining that I wasn’t well he insisted that I ‘EXTEND MYSELF’. I categorically told him no and made him know that I was willing to receive a memo as my health came first.
Thank you for sharing this. Another good reason to say "no" is for the sake of your existing students. I had a room full of drama-mamas, which was enough on its own, but I also had one student for whom I was pushed to get an ISP (I'm in a private school). I spent hours just doing paperwork and notes home for that one child. I loved her dearly, but at the end of the day, she probably robbed us of a good 40 minutes per day with her disruptive and inappropriate behaviors. It's rough on the kids who actually want to learn when their teacher is constantly having to stop and regroup.
I have a sticky note on my mirror that says "Don't give away your peace." I resigned as a para this year, for many reasons. One of those reasons was that I was tired of giving away my peace, and feeling like I wasn't getting any support in return. 😔
What I find irritating is the teachers who dump these kids with behavior issues to other teachers because they have good classroom management. My experience has been that they pile on all the behaviors in the co teach classes because they have “extra help” and “extra teachers”.
I hope this is an awesome year for you. I feel like I am hyperventilating with so much left to prepare for school, the expectations for this year, all the changes that are taking place, and the usual beginning of the year challenges. I was too tired to get up yesterday and was scrolling through my You Tube subscriptions, organizing them, and deleting most of them. After the challenges of last year, I am in a different place... I saw your video and felt like I was experiencing a reunion and realized how many people have struggled these past two years. None of us are unscathed or will be who we were before COVID. Seeing you and hearing your voice was like a ray of hope snapping me out of my funk. As tired as I have been after one of the toughest years I can remember, I still struggle sleeping without worries of how this year will be. I had so many behavior issues and kept getting kids other teachers couldn't handle. The kids that were missing out on support needed us at that time, too. I hope something improves this year or more behavior specialist are hired.
Bravo Ms May!!! Learning to say NO will save our sanity, our salvation and even our lives!!! Thanks for this reminder for those of us TRYING to hang in there with U.S. education 😌💖🙏
I’m not a teacher, but this is really something l struggle with, and am continuously working on. I quit one of my jobs where my boss was a bully - l stood up for myself. It’s a process but l’m learning to put myself first, vs any job. At the end of the day, they’ll replace you, so never compromise yourself. ❤️
I love you! God bless you and give you the strength to continue to be your true self and take care of yourself. Your support for teachers is invaluable! Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing this video. I have been there and felt so bad for saying no. I felt like I let everyone down. I feel so much better after listening to you. As always you are my inspiration. Be blessed. 🐅💙🤗
I experienced that last year, and was proud of myself for saying “No”! I realized that it’s ok to say “No”. I don’t have to feel guilty. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing 🙌 a lot of us need this message over and over to get through to ourselves. I’m so sorry that they didn’t care for your well-being. But I’m so glad you made your boundaries heard!
So proud of you! I learned this lesson the hard way. I had one of those kiddos that you described at the beginning but I worked really hard with him and he got on track but barely. Then in the second semester I helped interview a student. I suggested that he should be put in the other section because I felt he would affect my kiddo but unfortunately administration didn't listen and put him in my section. By the end of they year I was super exhausted that I was considering quitting teaching altogether . But hanging in there. God bless you Miss May 🙏 You are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing ❤
I was in your shoes too! The first few months until my student was on medicine for mental health, it was very bad! I have seen so many behaviors and I was okay with handling them, but this was a new ball game alltogether! Even the special education teacher said WOAH to the situation and wasn't sure what to do! A lot of my students, teachers, and other adults getting injuried and one person got a broken bone. I am thankful he was put on medicine! Sometimes students need it! This student was very unstable and had a hard time functioning for two minutes even with three adults in the classroom and someone holding the student down. Sometimes I was alone with the student that caused panic attacks. Thankful they were put on medicine. My school year would be so hard for me and probably would have quit if the student was not on the meds.
It was a breath of fresh air to hear this from you. I start my 3rd year of teaching this year and I have experienced similar things. I was the least experienced teacher on my team and I feel like I got most of the behaviors simply due to that. It is so draining not to have support.
I am not a teacher yet, but I had to set boundaries at my office job. I was always given the tasks no one else wanted to do, and you are exactly right: the boss feeds you a bunch of bull to butter you up. They even admitted they came to me because they knew I wouldn't say no, and I would just do it. It was a rough lesson, and I unfortunately learned my lesson (burnout), but I have made a promise to start having a backbone and saying no.
Miss May exactly! This is why I didn't mind teaching SPED this year after 18 years. I was able to focus on my small group although behaviors were higher.
I can relate.. Back in our country in the Philippines 🇵🇭, minimum of 38 to 50 students without even assistant Teacher..just imagine..It was really unbearable 😫 😩 😪. Take Care Miss May and God Bless
Nope! They don’t care. “It’s about the kids. What about the children?” 😒 If something happens to you, they can and will replace you in a second. Take care of yourself. Good for you for saying no.
I have absolutely enjoyed your videos. I have gleaned and learned so much from you. I found your channel at a critical time. Thank you so much. Can you direct me to the video that shows how you have labeled your books in your library? I have looked for it again and again and I simply haven't been able to find it. Thank you so much.
Whenever they ask me questions like that, things about extra kids, or any other random question where I clearly don't truly have a choice in the matter....I straight up am like...Are you asking me, or do I not have a choice? Asking me first doesn't make it my choice.
Administrators shouldn’t be moving kids from classroom to classroom. Instead, administrators should have the same confidence in all of their teachers and communicate to families that their child will receive the same great treatment in all of our classes.
I needed to hear this. I get a lot of behaviors in my class because I have good classroom management, but I’m not going to lie, sometimes I feel like because I’m that teacher I get all the hard kids. It is mentally and emotionally draining.
Let me tell your something. I've been doing this for 30 years and that's what they do. I can manage but there is something called burn out. I love the challenges but I refuse to take all of them every year! You have to start saying no at some point. Do it and start this year from the first day of school. Please!
You can say yes to every request and the moment you say no it changes the whole dynamic at work. They don’t care about the teacher. They care more that they aren’t being called every day and that the kid is not in their office.
Wow..."It is okay to protect your peace." Thank you...that's an important statement, and we all need to hear it.
Gurrrll you need to be doing PDs across the nation. Not only do we need to learn to say no because of behaviors parents NEED to hear why. I’m sure this child was being moved to show that everything was being done to help them. BUT at the expense of the other childrens’ education and teachers peace?? No thank you!
Thank you for sharing. Many ((Hugs))
@@OneFABTeacher I agree with R Aguilra, have you ever thought about doing a nationwide PD? I think a lot of teachers would be able to push on with your type of humble encouragement.
This needs to be a PD by itself!!
"Protect ur Peace" by Ms. May (2022) ---- Hallelujah!!!!! Love u!! Great post! (Smile; Thumbs Up)
LOLOL it's so important! Many ((Hugs))
I'm so ready to blast this out to EVERYBODY... not just teachers. Thank you for sharing such a truthful and respectful way to help other people understand it's okay to say no.
The shade is real. I had a similar situation. Around October I got a student who was getting in fights (2nd grade) with another student in another classroom. Come December admin comes and tells me I’m getting his fighting friend since I helped the first student “flourish in a healthy classroom environment” I said no even though they didn’t ask my input. I had to call HR and make a whole deal 🙄 they started making me feel like I couldn’t help behavior students….no, end of the day it’s student success and we are not punching bags. Preach May!
I am so glad 😊 you applied boundaries!
You are right about not people pleasing.
It is so sad that teachers are being gas lighted about how much teachers can really handle.
At the end of the day, it's about mental health.
When I taught kindergarten '18-'19,(1st year) that was a down fall for me. Then, it turned into burnout and family issues at home.
I chose to leave and take care of family issues.
Saying yes all the time can eventually turn into mental and emotional trauma issues.
Thank God for you.
😍
Saying, "Yes" all the time is not healthy at all. I agree. ((Hugs))
I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I ended up in the hospital 3 years ago year due to stress-induced illness. That was the beginning of my setting boundaries with admin on all kinds of issues. Keep speaking the truth, Miss May ❤️
“And I know there’s only one person I’m gonna have to meet at the end of the day, and that’s my Lord and Savior!” AMEN! Me too sister! ❤️ Thank you for this!
You better preach!! Amen and Amen!! ((Hugs))♥️
Yes!❤️
You cannot care for others if you don’t take care of yourself. 💕
Amen! ((Hugs))
YOU IS SO RIGHT! IT IS OKAY TO SAY "NO!!!" I WORK AT DAYCARE FOR OVER 23 YEARS SAME ONE AND THEY TELL ME THE SAME THING AS THEY WAS TELLING YOU. YOU CAN DO IT THE KIDS LOVE YOU, YOU HAVE YOUR ROOM STRUCTURE AND THEY LOVE IT BUT " NO! MEANS NO!!!" HAVE A BLESSED WEEKEND.
Great advice as always. It is so true that you have to have healthy boundaries AND no one has your back but JESUS! People want what they want but Jesus wants what’s best for you, always. Love you girl!
I’m glad you had the option… I’ve never had the OPTION. We just have to go along with
Thanks for sharing this reality that we live dayly. I used to please people before bu,t one day I realised that nobody was pleasing me , since that day I started to say "NO" without feeling guilty. Also I read a book about this topic, may years ago.
Amen to this. No is an anointed word.
Amen, to saying No, & being okay with it! 💗
Protect your PEACE!! Love it!💛
Well said Ms May. I experienced the same issue here in Jamaica. I was having serious breathing issues due to ill health and my principal was adamant that I leave my class with less students and supervise two classes which had about 70 students, because their teachers were absent. After explaining that I wasn’t well he insisted that I ‘EXTEND MYSELF’. I categorically told him no and made him know that I was willing to receive a memo as my health came first.
Good for you! I'm glad to hear that you stood up for yourself. Many ((Hugs))
Thank you for sharing this. Another good reason to say "no" is for the sake of your existing students. I had a room full of drama-mamas, which was enough on its own, but I also had one student for whom I was pushed to get an ISP (I'm in a private school). I spent hours just doing paperwork and notes home for that one child. I loved her dearly, but at the end of the day, she probably robbed us of a good 40 minutes per day with her disruptive and inappropriate behaviors. It's rough on the kids who actually want to learn when their teacher is constantly having to stop and regroup.
This made me feel more confident to be bold, but respectful. I am so glad you are posting again. Also, I care! Hugs.
Amen to all you said !
I never had a choice about kids being added to my class!
Bless 🙌 you
I have a sticky note on my mirror that says "Don't give away your peace." I resigned as a para this year, for many reasons. One of those reasons was that I was tired of giving away my peace, and feeling like I wasn't getting any support in return. 😔
This makes me sad, because paras are soooooooo important in our schools. Your peace is so much more important. May God continue to bless you. ((Hugs))
Amen, Miss May!!
Miss Tiffany May taking the words right out of my mouth 💞. New teachers especially need to know this.
Thank you for standing your ground. Protecting one's peace is important. Take care.
What I find irritating is the teachers who dump these kids with behavior issues to other teachers because they have good classroom management. My experience has been that they pile on all the behaviors in the co teach classes because they have “extra help” and “extra teachers”.
I hope this is an awesome year for you.
I feel like I am hyperventilating with so much left to prepare for school, the expectations for this year, all the changes that are taking place, and the usual beginning of the year challenges.
I was too tired to get up yesterday and was scrolling through my You Tube subscriptions, organizing them, and deleting most of them. After the challenges of last year, I am in a different place...
I saw your video and felt like I was experiencing a reunion and realized how many people have struggled these past two years. None of us are unscathed or will be who we were before COVID.
Seeing you and hearing your voice was like a ray of hope snapping me out of my funk.
As tired as I have been after one of the toughest years I can remember, I still struggle sleeping without worries of how this year will be. I had so many behavior issues and kept getting kids other teachers couldn't handle. The kids that were missing out on support needed us at that time, too. I hope something improves this year or more behavior specialist are hired.
I’ve observed that this happens quite often with high performing teachers, administration will push and push with teachers that get results.
Bravo Ms May!!! Learning to say NO will save our sanity, our salvation and even our lives!!! Thanks for this reminder for those of us TRYING to hang in there with U.S. education 😌💖🙏
I’m not a teacher, but this is really something l struggle with, and am continuously working on. I quit one of my jobs where my boss was a bully - l stood up for myself. It’s a process but l’m learning to put myself first, vs any job. At the end of the day, they’ll replace you, so never compromise yourself. ❤️
I love you! God bless you and give you the strength to continue to be your true self and take care of yourself. Your support for teachers is invaluable! Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing this video. I have been there and felt so bad for saying no. I felt like I let everyone down. I feel so much better after listening to you. As always you are my inspiration. Be blessed. 🐅💙🤗
Be feeling the same way
Thank you for sharing how to say "NO" I really needed to hear what you said. You are so motivational - God bless!
You are so welcome, sunshine. ((Hugs))
Yesssss!!!!! Truth!!!!!!
Thank you Ms. May!! It is so helpful to hear you speak so honestly. It helps to know that you feel this way too!
I never want to come across like I haven't experienced issues during my career. I always want to speak my truth to help others. ((Hugs))
I’ve been there. Glad you didn’t give in. I unfortunately didn’t and paid the price. Almost quit at that point.
This is what makes me sad and upset. You paid the price. Not cool at all. Sending you big Texas ((Hugs))
At least your administrator respected you enough to ask.
Very thankful for that. ((Hugs))
Thank you so much, Ms. May! I learned a lot from you! God bless your good heart.
Yay! You are so welcome. God bless! ((HUGS))
I experienced that last year, and was proud of myself for saying “No”! I realized that it’s ok to say “No”. I don’t have to feel guilty. Thanks for sharing your story.
It really is ok to say, "No!" We are often looked at, as not a team player or being rude. That's not the case at all. ((Hugs))
Thank you for sharing 🙌 a lot of us need this message over and over to get through to ourselves. I’m so sorry that they didn’t care for your well-being. But I’m so glad you made your boundaries heard!
Thank you for sharing your truth. Have a lovely summer!!
Thank you! You too! ((HUGS))
Thank you for being so vulnerable! 💕
You are so welcome! ((HUGS))
So proud of you! I learned this lesson the hard way. I had one of those kiddos that you described at the beginning but I worked really hard with him and he got on track but barely. Then in the second semester I helped interview a student. I suggested that he should be put in the other section because I felt he would affect my kiddo but unfortunately administration didn't listen and put him in my section. By the end of they year I was super exhausted that I was considering quitting teaching altogether . But hanging in there. God bless you Miss May 🙏 You are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing ❤
I was in your shoes too! The first few months until my student was on medicine for mental health, it was very bad! I have seen so many behaviors and I was okay with handling them, but this was a new ball game alltogether! Even the special education teacher said WOAH to the situation and wasn't sure what to do! A lot of my students, teachers, and other adults getting injuried and one person got a broken bone. I am thankful he was put on medicine! Sometimes students need it! This student was very unstable and had a hard time functioning for two minutes even with three adults in the classroom and someone holding the student down. Sometimes I was alone with the student that caused panic attacks. Thankful they were put on medicine. My school year would be so hard for me and probably would have quit if the student was not on the meds.
It was a breath of fresh air to hear this from you. I start my 3rd year of teaching this year and I have experienced similar things. I was the least experienced teacher on my team and I feel like I got most of the behaviors simply due to that. It is so draining not to have support.
Having positive support on your campus is so important. I pray your 3rd year is amazing, sunshine! ((Hugs))
@@OneFABTeacher thanks so much! I pray you have an amazing year as well! 🥰
I am not a teacher yet, but I had to set boundaries at my office job. I was always given the tasks no one else wanted to do, and you are exactly right: the boss feeds you a bunch of bull to butter you up. They even admitted they came to me because they knew I wouldn't say no, and I would just do it. It was a rough lesson, and I unfortunately learned my lesson (burnout), but I have made a promise to start having a backbone and saying no.
I feel you
Thank you, I needed to hear this. I appreciate your wisdom, love and truth so much. You are a blessing to me!
Such a great video that I wish more admins watched! Thanks for the encouragement and wise words. 😘🙋🏻♀️
Thank you! ((Hugs))
Miss May exactly! This is why I didn't mind teaching SPED this year after 18 years. I was able to focus on my small group although behaviors were higher.
Victoria, I hope you're getting some good rest and enjoying your summer. ((Hugs))
Thanks. I am taking notes this my first year teaching.
Thanks for your honesty in your videos. I took my first assignment as a sub starting 7/5/22 and will be following you and watching your other videos.
No problem! Congrats on taking your new adventure. God bless! ((Hugs))
Yes!!! Thank you once again for your wisdom.
Many ((Hugs)) Stephanie. You have been so supportive! ((Hugs))
Hi Mss. May. Thank you so much for such wonderful advice. You truly been my inspiration as a teacher 😍😘
Awwwww, thank you so much! I appreciate you and you got this! God bless! ((Hugs))
I can relate.. Back in our country in the Philippines 🇵🇭, minimum of 38 to 50 students without even assistant Teacher..just imagine..It was really unbearable 😫 😩 😪. Take Care Miss May and God Bless
Oh my goodness! God bless you, sunshine! Many ((HUGS))
This great advice for us future teachers. Thank you 😊
You are so welcome! ((HUGS))
Thank you for this ❤
You're welcome 😊 ((HUGS))
Nope! They don’t care. “It’s about the kids. What about the children?” 😒 If something happens to you, they can and will replace you in a second. Take care of yourself. Good for you for saying no.
Amen 💯
We all have that point🙏
Thank you for sharing Miss May. 💕
♥️ ((HUGS))
Great advice. Thank you! ❤️
I have absolutely enjoyed your videos. I have gleaned and learned so much from you. I found your channel at a critical time. Thank you so much. Can you direct me to the video that shows how you have labeled your books in your library? I have looked for it again and again and I simply haven't been able to find it. Thank you so much.
No, I don't but I plan to add them as a freebie soon. ((Hugs))
Whenever they ask me questions like that, things about extra kids, or any other random question where I clearly don't truly have a choice in the matter....I straight up am like...Are you asking me, or do I not have a choice? Asking me first doesn't make it my choice.
I just love your whole vibe! I really enjoy your channel!God Bless you!!
Fantastic video! Thanks for sharing your story.❤
Love your haircut!!
Administrators shouldn’t be moving kids from classroom to classroom. Instead, administrators should have the same confidence in all of their teachers and communicate to families that their child will receive the same great treatment in all of our classes.
Yes! This!
((Hugs))
❤️ this & you!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Love you, back! ((Hugs))♥️♥️
The toxic positivy its intense 🤦♀️
No is a complete sentence
Amen ((Hugs))
Ms.May, Where are your brag tags?❣️
I no longer have them. ((Hugs))
Are you still a teacher?
Yes, I am. ((Hugs))