Can I Spot or Catch A Sociopath In My Life? |Traumatizing Relationships | Psychotherapy Crash Course
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- Опубликовано: 16 июл 2024
- #trauma #personalitydisorders #familytrauma
I once had a client (with a lot of family trauma) who asked me a difficult question during an intake appointment. She asked "can I spot or catch a sociopath in my life?"
Dealing with a sociopath feels almost impossible. It's really hard to survive with a sociopath. If you are genetically kin to a sociopath or related in some other way, life can feel very unsettling -- and traumatizing at other times.
Catching or spotting a sociopath in your life will require an understanding of what they look like, how to spot them, and what to do once you spot them. In this video, I will be discussing how to catch or spot a sociopath in your life.
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DISCUSSED IN THIS VIDEO:
intro 0:00
How to identify a sociopath 2:12
-WORDS/Language 2:44
-EMOTIONS (how you feel in response to them) 6:46
-BEHAVIOR 8:28
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I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally/Board certified trauma mental health therapist, with over 12 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness.
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Being around ppl with no empathy is dangerous the rage they have for you is undeniable
It’s indeed dangerous no doubt about it was around a sociopath just like that no emotion no empathy well the emotion was all fake or more likely copying at times I cried sometimes because of what went on with this sociopath it was difficult so maybe she was mimicking me because she doesn’t have real emotion like a normal person has.
Next week we'll talk about complex PTSD in families. Stay tuned.
Please consider a video about adhd, cluster b personalities, and bi polar. About the similarities and co morbidity surrounding them. If that made sense 😆
@@T.d0T. These suggestions are great!! ✌
@@ALLfemalesLiecheatnsteal Mark Mark be well. I know it's hard but you made it. In spite of the evil life threw at you. Sounds like off-gridding works for you. I'm glad!! 😀 Just know Mark that you won!! I will keep you in my prayers always. I take melatonin and CBD gummies. When I can't sleep. Just a suggestion. Again, Mark Mark be well and stay strong. You're stronger than you realize. God bless you. ✌
@@T.d0T. That does makes sense ... a lot of sensr ... to me, at least. But, I'm not the expert here. I hope Dr. Hill does address your request.
I agree with your observations about flat affect Támara. It's pretty telling when someone's face remains stoic during naturally upsetting or emotional situations. Something I've noticed with certain narcissists and some sociopaths is how the laugh just by moving their jaws while they fail to display any emotions through their eyes or face muscles. It almost feels like watching a robot mimmicking human laughter.
That's important stuff to pick up on and understand. We also have to be able to discern the difference between healthy Stoic self-control and genuinely not giving a crap. And you can test that. If you inform the person of something tragic/upsetting ... especially upsetting to you personally. If you get an innappriately cold/uncaring response, that's a real jackass. So, call him/her a jackass right then & there. If you get a reflexive anger response, that is NOT a Stoic. That is NOT someone in control of his/her emotions ... obviously.
Thank you very much for this. I've been in /out of a relationship with an individual for 3 years now. I have a childhood history of abuse & brainwashing which I have been working on healing with a therapist and small groups for about 13 years. I have voiced my concern to him about various behaviors that I find hurtful, but he implies that's my paranoia from past relationships and past abuse, and that he just forgives me so I should just forgive him without him getting outside help or him looking at /acknowledging & working to heal his inner world. I feel like I'm going crazy because 1/2 the time I see the situation as he describes it, how wonderful he is and how much I love him & he loves me, and 1/2 the time I see him as very covertly disturbed & dangerous for my health. I feel that he is a really good liar but he's also perhaps containing both realities, that's why it's been so confusing. 2 days ago I finally told my understanding of God that if He/She will help untangle me from this situation, I am willing to walk away from it. Im talking with him tomorrow or sometime next week & will be having this difficult conversation. Thank you so much for sharing your expertise- it confirms everything I already was picking up on. 🙏
I hope your "conversation" works out and you get your situation resolved in proper fashion. Sounds like you've got yourself a bona fide Jeckyl & Hyde with a penchant for gaslighting. I hope you have some healthy friends & family who can act as reliable reality checks.
Best,
~ TD, Boston
All of these signs didn't miss with every sociopath I've experienced, spot on!
Your intuition will save your life 🙏🙏🙏with these demonic spirits
Thank you Tamara. So much. I actually distanced myself from someone after she was unnecessarily rude to wait staff and it was totally unprovoked. She had always been fine to me but this was pretty much a deal breaker in my life and I am so glad you addressed this
🥰 You're welcome!
And I'm glad you distanced yourself. If she's like that to others a time will come when she 8s like tyat to you. Sadly.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Absolutely. It had already started so I cut her off fairly abruptly. I don't have the time or desire to have any of that in my life anymore. Thanks so much for all you do
💖
Hey Tamara, this video was great, thank you so much for posting!
Could you maybe do a video on differences between a sociopath and a person who is just arrogant, insensitive, ignorant, lazy and immature? I've never met an actual sociopath and for me personally it creates a confusion when someone is just a "bad" person who needs to grow up.
I would maybe rather hear your opinion on immature men and how does one become mature and what does it make an immature adolescent or a man. I think that's also a very important topic in case someone confuses sociopathy with immaturity as well. You would say some symptoms match but again, they're not the same thing.
Thanks Miss Hill!! I will remember the WEB sociopathic protocol. It makes a lot of sense. Have a great Sunday!! ✌
You are so welcome! Thanks and you too🙂
Thank you for the information 😊. I met a sociopath It was my friend and it was terrible. I struggle to get ower it I don't know if it is because I see her every day.
You're welcome!
Sorry to hear that. It is difficult to get over for sure.
Same here I had a friend who was a sociopath I saw her a lot we hung out at times eventually she changed quickly she was somewhat happy but mainly depressed unhappy and very unpredictable at times so pretty sure she had lots of problems and she lashed out at cussing at me for things I never did and I never got apology from her so it’s definitely a sociopath they make terrible friends am so sorry this happened to you.❤️
Excellent, as always! I personally have a very high level of confidence in my ability to spot incongruities. And good luck to anyone who may try to gaslight their way out of it, should I call 'em out. But that's a logic-based thing for me. Your advice about trusting my own internal emotional response as evidence (a flag): Now, that's something I need to work on, because I'd typically feel it, but still need the logic-based evidence to support and trust my emotional experience. They typically do sync pretty well, but your advice on that head is meaningful. Perhaps, what I needed was to hear that advice. And you stated it clearly & firmly. That matters to me.
Thank You Very Much!
TD, Boston
I didn’t understand the signs for 10 years with my MIL. I saw them, I felt them, but I was being slapped back whenever I started to doubt... It wasn’t until I lost my mother, that she showed herself even nastier. I had to go to therapy to understand what she was...
According to my therapist I was possibly dealing with a sociopath / borderliner. I’ve CO’ed her and my life has been so freeing - I can never repay my therapist for her help in this.. I’m finally out of her web.
Thank you miss miss Hill yes I recently cut off a sociopath who was a caregiver to it’s a strange combination but they do exist in the workplace she did everything to manipulative towards me by the way I have autism sometimes need help so I hired this person to help me by the way never knew what a sociopath was until I read about it I knew something was off with her she became verbally abusing with me made me cry to it was so difficult she was aggressive always putting others down taking it out on her family and gossips so much about her disabled sister because she now diabetic and amputee that breaks my heart she likes to talk so bad about her sister like that so eventually I got rid of her she tried to manipulative towards me like I said and I didn’t see a heartfelt apology from her none so it’s sad sociopaths are this bad to anyone around them I see why they wear a mask to hide there true self there toxic underneath!
Thank you for this confirmation of what I have always felt!
Welcome!!🙂
Thank you for sharing this.
My pleasure! Thanks for watching
Thank you for this you’re so helpful
You're welcome! 😊 Glad this is helpful.
You’re amazing… I’m learning so much from your channel! You break things down in easy to understand chunks of info…SOOOO appreciative of you!
Thanks so much Julz! I'm really glad these videos are helpful. And welcome to the channel!
thank you love! I will use this method for sure. I needed this.
Glad it was helpful! You're welcome 😊
Learning to Trust Me. Feel much Safer, and Hopeful, as well
as Grateful.
Wishing That Many More Will Learn Grow Improve & Share .
🫂
You talk about the little signs (like a pregnant woman trying to cross the road).
Early in our relationship, my gf and I went out partying. At the party, a random guy gave her his phone number (while I was standing next to them) In addition, they talked for 2 hours afterwards and I was excluded from the conversation. Of course I was pissed off, but my gf just asked me what my problem actually is. As I told her that her behaviour was disrespectful, because she should have at least asked me what I thought about exchanging phone numbers with a stranger and if we were going out together she should not ignore me for hours.
She said that I was very territorial and insecure and that my behaviour was restricting her freedom, and she is very sensitive to her freedom bcause of bad experiences in her past.
I assume that is a huge warning sign....and also gaslighting. Or am I too dramatic?
Thank you. How can i identified covert sociopath,narcissist?
Have you ever ask yourself who am I?
You never did a video on the non psychotic stalker! You said it in one of the videos but I searched high and dry, didn’t find it.
Check outy playlists for sociopaths and narcissists. You'll find my stalker series there.
I remember my best friend in my 20's who is a sociopath we bought blow guns with darts I'm thinking we were going set up targets to shoot at were riding on our way back to the house this idiot starts trying to shoot people at bus stops freaking nuts he was.
Taking on any new patients, have referrals?
I'd love to! But I'm booked until January 2022.🙃
Thank you so much for this video. I just recently was able to get away from a male sociopath and he was dangerous. I do have a question for you. Is it common for them to have crazy mood swings? Hot and cold behavior? Mine would love me one minute and then hate me the next. There was never no in between with him. I was either with him or against him? Why do they behave this way? What really causes it? A lot of my research has told me to get away far away from them if possible. If you have to deal with one and you can't get away from one. What do you do?
You're welcome! And thanks for watching.
To your first question, yes. Sociopaths often have anger management issues and aren't able to control their emotional reactions to things. Some are very irritable and violate the rights of others almost daily, while others may manipulate their colleagues at work and walk around arrogantly all day. So it really just depends on the sociopath. These are certainly questions for a live chat. Stay tuned as I will be bringing this topic back to the live chats!
@@TherapistTamaraHill That would be great! When do you normally do your live chats? Is there a way where I could get an alert about it?
One minute he loved me and next minute he hated me. His moods would shift so fast that I could barely keep up with them all the time. It was the same way with his decision making as well. He never kept plans either and never followed through with anything either. Is that also common too?
I do live chats on Fridays after 6pm. I welcome you!
This is a common behavior pattern for these type of personalities. That's the sad reality for so many.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you so much! I really thought I was the problem. I actually asked my therapist if I’m the one who’s at fault here? I asked her if I’m the narcissist or the one with the problem? She told me no. He makes me feel that way though. He reeled me in and tried to destroy me but I broke free from him and his evil behavior. I’m having difficulty breaking the trauma bond and the withdrawals are hard as hell. I made a deal with myself to try and break my last record of 128 days.. today is 128 days of no contact. It’s disgusting that I have this urge to reach out to him. I know logically it’s not a good idea at all. Sociopaths are dangerous when they get their hooks into you like that. I honestly have been praying to god for help with this. It’s hard grieving for the man that I fell in love with, only to find out he’s some evil soulless being who does nothing but destroy people for fun. I apologize for going off topic here. I just wanted to tell someone how I feel. Thank you for listening and thank you for your videos. I started my own RUclips channel too.. I have been telling my story about this. Doing the videos really do help a lot..
Does a person with this know they are? Or are they like a narcissist and can't see they are?
This is a good question Ralf! Some high functioning socipaths know they are uncaring, cold, and nonchalant about things. They also can identify when people do not like them. However, for the most part, they are blinded by their own disillusioned self-concept. They don't see themselves as the problem 90% of the time which is why they often do not seek out psychotherapy or any other kind of treatment without be forced by the law, an angry spouse, loss of employment, etc. And even when they do go to psychotherapy when forced they typically talk about everyone else and not themselves.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Okay. Thanks for such a detailed response!