Dark and Ugly? (The Desi Obsession with Fair Skin)
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- Опубликовано: 9 июл 2024
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I was pregnant with my son and was at a get together of friends. When the chai time came, a friend said I should not be drinking tea, cause my baby will get dark skin.
I replied, I am dark, so is my husband, if my baby is not, then that will be a problem. Now give me my tea.
So yeah, not even fetuses escape colorism here.
yaaaaas 👏👏👏
I was laughing at the " if my baby is not, there will be a problem ' :D
Wow, the ignorance of those people. Unbelievable.
We Irish drinks buckets of strong tea and we are not getting any darker. If tea can give us dark skin, then we have no need to buy tanning products, as we have tanorexia as opposite to fair skin obsession. I use tanning wipes to darken my skin.
When foreigners come to my country and see tanning products in shops, they abandon skin whitening as they see tan being put on pedestal.
@@pinklady7184 I think it's obsessing over what you don't have. No one wants to be where they are in the spectrum.
Also, I do think we brownies should stop, cause you white people wants to be tanner and the darker skinned black people wants to be lighter, in the middle we brownies have the perfect complexion I think ;)
"Even the tea cannot escape the pressures of society!" Lmao
hahahahhahahaa
I remember when I was a child my older cousin had turned off the lights and my sister went "where’d yusuf (me) go?" I laughed it off but that was the first time I felt insecure about my dark skin
This happened in my class
😂😂😂
@@madihahshazadi6410 lol me and my African friends use to me how my black friend could hide in the dark
I'm sorry u went through this. Your skin is Attractive and Very Beautiful.... ❤Cute Amazing Sexy ❤️❤️
It’s a global problem that exists in Africa Jamaica Thailand and the Philippines 🇵🇭 Its sad how much colorism is engrained in the minds of young children.
it is very sad
@Etio 206 lol Europe is the result of colorism because of colonialism
All of Asia bleaches
Not only do they look ghostly but they look super ashy and grey with all these fairness products. Not attractive at all.
I appreciate you being a light skin south asian and talking about this issue. Most do not.
White skin shouldn't be demonize Black skin shouldn't be demonize or any complexion in between ... Or Worshipped
Stopped Traumatizing Little Girls ... It's So Sick
They look like Ghosts
incoco2 I am white and I hate how hostile blacks and browns look at my skin colour. I get hostilities occasionally. Online, they are friendly, until they see my white skin that represents many negative things to them. In social media like Facebook, I hide my race and gender so to put others at ease.
My white cousin is married to a desi Indian man whose skin is darker than many Africans. They produced a child who is medium brown. As a doting mother, my cousin calls him "my beautiful boy" and never made issues of his skin colour. As result, child grew to be well-adjusted and confident, bubbly happy with his looks. My cousin is Pollyanna kind and treats her child as her Little Lord Fauntleroy.
When communities see my cousin's child, they expect his mother to be an Indian of same colour, but they get a shock when they see a Lady Gaga lookalike with blondest hair, bluest eyes and whitest white skin. My cousin daily suffers blonde discriminations, while her husband suffers colourism within Indian society.
I just re-editted my last comment.
Agree, they do look so pale and ashy it don't look natural at all. like a ghost alright
When I was in school, around 14-15 yrs old, a girl asked me “why are you so dark” because Im sure she was comparing my skin tone to my mom and sisters who are a lighter shade than me. I replied saying “ I take poty and rub it on my face and then bake it at 200 degree celcius until its burned and thats how I got dark”. She was so amused by my answer she laughed it off, called me crazy in jest and walked away. She was however not the first or the last person to say that to me. It did still make me angry though, that someone could ask me such a question.
Lol
I'm a dark skin guy (not dark as compared to common South Asian standards) in a very fair Pashtun tribe and I get to listen a lot of questions like this.... Many guys also say that "You don't look Niazi / Pashtun".... And I think you should've handled the question well and there's no point to get angry because it's normal to get such questions when you look different than your family
@@arminius6506 There are three ways I can respond to that suggestion; a) This was 12 years ago, I should've handled many things well. b) My reaction was appropriate to my audience, I know best the dynamics/intentions of the questioner more than anyone else but I'm with you on your comments about "when you look different than your family. c) however, only I know why my insecurities lead me to where they did, and I don't need to list "all racist comments" on a youtube comment to feel validated or accepted by a stranger's empathy on the issue of cultural racism passed down from one generation to another. It is from the adab of the sunnah to be wise with our naseeha. Thank you for feedback if it was shared with sincerity, May Allah reward you for your intention. Asalamalikum my fellow dark human.
@@Chewkelso have a good day 😊✌
@@arminius6506 SAME. I have a medium brown skin tone, but I have it even worse, because I'm a girl and also Pashtun (so most of my family is very white). Not only does the colourism hurt, but they also make me feel like I'm less Pashtun😔
Jazakallahu khairan! The entire desi population needs to watch this!
Finally.
So imagine being an African and your fiancé is pakistani🤣story of my life.
@Sandeep Chauhan learn English you itcel
You lucky girl, your man is really a gem for not falling for what is a norm in his country. Protect him at all cost.
Aww, you are both blessed. That is true love right there
You should vlog
Girl I hope ur in-laws don't give u shit 😭 thankfully my household doesn't care at all abt skin colour since my grandpa was coal black while my grandma was very pale, so we're used to diversity 🫠
Arabs have this same thing. I’m a white revert and my husband and his family is Yemeni. The way they idolize my skin is soooo creepy. I get so uncomfortable going to gatherings because of it. My sil used to bathe is BLEACH. And she still gets thoughts of bleaching her skin. And they use foundation that is WAY to light for their skin and just makes their make up look so weird lol. It’s just so weird and sad.
I’m married to a Yemeni too and also a white revert. I noticed a lot of Yemenis are more white than me lol.
@@baseemabaseema1415 some yemenis are pale with light eyes and those yemenis are considered the most beautiful in their community and the world becous of their pale skin midle easterns are not different than south asians when it comes to colourism pale people are treated like royalty in midle east and darker people are discriminated
@ZI abaayo maryooleey yaa cadaan ka jecel wey cabudaan cadaanta naagaheena maad arkin miya badankood siday midabkoodi u badaleen dermovate siday isu marinaayeen marqaarki goo go ay oo loo maleeyo dhiig la aan iney hayso dhibka gabadhaan ka hadashay anaga ba faro kuluul buu nagu haya
What is 'white revert'?
@ZI loads of Somalis bleach though.
I work as a makeup artist and the bride wanted minimal foundation as she was not used to makeup. Bride was very happy with end look but the mother came in and said you've made my daughter dark!! Put whiter makeup on. The bride had to tell her mum to leave as she was happy. It was a very natural look. 🤦🏾♀️
This is such a pan Desi thing... Not just Indian or Pakistani... Hindu or Muslim thing.. Just all across South Asia.
As a result, we're not only racist against our own with darker skin, but also Black people, which is so messed up.
I faced it throughout my childhood. And it was only in America, where I learnt to be proud of my color.
Thank you for bringing this up.
I'm Brown and Proud ✊🏾
The arabic word mü§lim, translates into English via etymology concordance as 'saviour'.
Hindu means a river through Pakistan.
@@ummerfarooq5383 so Indian muslims are hindu too lol ?no they arent hindu ,only sanatani people are hindus
@@chonkycat9033 youtube video: 'indian army officer's this reply will stun you'
Pakistanis are literally white
Actually, colorism is the worst in America. Due to history. Dark skin is beautiful, the media conditioned us to think otherwise. Conformity.
Preach girl!! Hate it when Desi girls hate on a girl just bc of being fair skinned...it's pathetic. I'm glad u haven't changed. ...much....after marriage. Very refreshing to see.
💛
Is not only a desi obsession. My father's family is Syrian and I remember every time we used to go visit when i was little... Im talking 6-10 years old. My aunties in Syria would spend lots of time applying to my face masks to become white. And different creams and other stuff.
Also i used to get some burns from the sun so, every time i used to hear my aunties and cousins saying... oh poor Fatima, she is getting darker every time. Besides when we would go to the beach. My aunties literally would forbid my girl cousins to go outside because they would get darker skin. I mean🤯 i never really understood why all these crap, but now that i look back and remember is so sad how much discrimination there is in our cultures.
Same in Morocco.
Yes! Super common in middle eastern culture, the number of wedding pictures I've seen where the brides are literally white as paper is insane!
@@rtred3_ omg i remember a makeup cream in a little bottle. literally color white. They would apply ALWAYS before going out.
@@FR-ud4ux They'll go to those crazy lengths but won't use sunscreen to protect their skin 😅
it is the same in africa where i am from being beautiful means having light skinn you can have ugly face ugly body if you have light skinn you are the most beautiful just becous of your skinn coloure most black men are obessed with light skinned women with european features and straight hair
I've always been told that I'm dark, even some makeup looks supposedly shouldn't make me look "Darker" I'm a butterscotch colored bengali which is beautiful in western society . One time after I got married another female member from my husbands family came to my room to give me an "Imported" whittening soap from Pakistan. My husband is probably 1 or 2 shades lighter than me so that woman felt the need to tell me that I need to bleach and scrub myself into looking more like his complexion. I threw that soap out so quick. Idk why colorism is such an obsession, we are really making ourselves look pathetic.
That is so cringe, why would people think you need to be the same skin tone as your husband to be his 'equal'.. Ugh.
the soap belongs in the trash. you did the right thing!
3:49 can we just take a moment to acknowledge how pretty your friend is.
I was going to say that.
Mashallah
Yes!! she is very pretty
Rebelliousbrownie the fashion lifestyle instagrammer is gorg
Colourism needs to stop. The comment “tea makes you dark” makes no sense logically at all. I have heard this many times in passing conversation. But I started thinking that traditionally people who are British (who are naturally white) mainly drink tea (tea is a huge staple of British culture) and those who are of British blood are mostly naturally white so what logic is behind tea can make you dark. What’s sad is many people are told these things.
I'm a pale skinned Desi and I drink tea ALL day. I have been ,for years. Before that it was coffee. If tea makes you dark better not have olives or dates lol. Ridiculous.
@@Trollika_Devi yep
I was like 7 when my neighbour auntie told me that drinking bournvita and tea is the reason I'm not "gori"> I'm angry about this to this day
I'm white, like Super Pale freckled Nordic who doesn't tan. Hubby is Desi. Some of his relatives were already excited about what "pretty fair babies" we'll have, and quite frankly it was a bit shocking to me. And of course, eye colour got mentioned too. How lovely it would be if our kids get my eyes. It's sad.
The both of you, please teach your children the insidious meaning behind compliments they will inevitably get from their desi relatives. Tell them why this mindframe is not alright. Break the cycle.
@@psi9899 I agree. Teach any future kids to question that. I’m Black and my husband is white. our baby gets many compliments for her cuteness (which of course we think she is) but I know comments will be inevitably based in her “different” skin or hair. Her hair has already been investigated twice by strangers and once at a month old about we got a comment that her hair wouldn’t be like Black people’s hair. I said “Baby hair changes and it is nothing wrong with our hair.”
The joke is fair skin does not glow. You need melanin for that.
Naturally white skin does, whitened "fair" skin doesn't. It just ruins skin. The trick is to maintain healthy skin and that means not ruining your own natural skin tone, whether it's dark or light or any shade between. Healthy, moisturised and cared for skin glows.
Korean people skin glows
Perioddddd
@Personal Jesus then what is their skin tone?
@Personal Jesus a lot of Koreans are pale, wtf are you smoking
Mexican lady here, same. I went on more outdoor trips last year and my mom would bring up how dark my skin was (along with my weight but that is another thing). I told her I was putting on sunscreen to be safe and all, but she was fixated on how dark it was.
I was also graduating and got a new job at the same time but my skin took over the conversation. And my mom still tells me to avoid that again.
I would be like, Why you so obsessed with me?
Mexican here too, and exactly the same situation. When I travelled to Morocco and later Greece, my mum and grandmother were less than thrilled to see how tan I was after each trip. I made a comment on how they were so fixated over skin colour, they tried to justify it saying that it is for “skin health” and stuff but you can just feel it is just a lame cover-up for the real concern which was darker skin. Colourism is a sad reality that is still very much in ingrained across Latin American culture.
@@SkylarLux it's ingrained across world culture tbh. I don't think there are very many places in the world where lighter skin is not given preference.
@ZN not saying this is how it should be. Just that it's the way it is. Mostly because being fair/untanned in most places always meant you were rich enough to stay indoors and not have to work out in the sun. So fair skin has always been correlated with high socioeconomic status. And there's no part of the world where people do not admire, envy, and try to imitate the rich.
Actually there is something I've experienced that I want to share. I'm Turkish and have pale skin. And I didn't care or realize this cause this isn't much of a topic on Turkish communities like no one cares. But when I started university and I was surrounded by mostly Indian pakistani and Bengali friends people would touch my arm and say oh you are so fair. Or I've had a few Indian guys propose to me or tell me they found me attractive for my pale skin. And I can't explain this but I felt so digusged by them and myself. Something felt so off and I kept trying to explain this complex was given by the English who occupied those lands but it's so ingrained there isn't much to say. This is a comment from someone who isn't part of the desi community but grew up around many Pakistani friends. It's creepy i know I sound rude but I feel gross when this happens.
It's not solely the result of colonialism/england but also a history of afghan, turko-mongol, and arab empires & dynasties that ruled india for much longer than britishers.
Desis are creeps with skin color it's too much
@@pantoroy4064 no the route is the Hindu caste system. But everything else you mentioned is still relevant since it introduced the ‘pale skin’ into the subcontinent.
@@unapologetic7281 hindu cast system mein colourism ke saath koi link nahi hai........ jaake dhang se padhle
Stop blaming colonialism and blame the people that are doing the description.
Not South or West Asian but we have colorism in Mexico too. I’ve always wanted beautiful brown skin like a lot of my peoples. It would bum me out that I didn’t look like my indigenous looking mom. I have skin issues and inflammation disorders and would take healthy skin at any complexion over this light but unhealthy skin.
A year or so ago my grandmother was visiting and gushing about how beautiful my very white cousin is and then she turns to me and said something along the lines of 'you're a bit dark but still good looking'...like ok...I personally love tanned skin, I love my copper complexion, and these things never really get to me but I'm still flabbergasted by how blind some people are. Like wow.
Thank you for making this video. My family is African and let me tell you how bad colorism is too in Subsaharan Africa. Many people bleach their skin and continue to do so because they see fair/ white skin is beautiful and better. Even though I'm in the US, I myself as a teenager was told not to play outside in the summer because I'll be "too dark and ugly" and sadly I was contemplating buying whitening products when I was in high school. Thankfully I never went that far and felt good in my skin from the last years of my high school years. It's a disease unfortunately that is in many communities around the world.
All of Africa is light skin obsessed, including North Africa infact especially North Africa because they genuinely want to be anything else but brown& black Africans that they are
The “brown where?? Brown here!!!!” Got me so bad😂 . And I just want to add im so proud of you for making quality content . Thank you for bringing light to the wrong we see around us but are so accustomed to it to even bring conversation to the table about how messed up that is.
I have a Moroccan background and the only reason for me to avoid the sun is because I don't want my skin to age faster. Other than that, I wouldn't mind a nice tan. You know what's funny, my family comes from the northern region of Morocco where people are typically lighter, but the government still sees us as less than people from other parts of the country. But within our own region, there is still colorism, but I don't think it is as bad as on the Indian subcontinent, especially with the Moroccan diaspora.
it is as bad a moroccan girl i know told me her aunty who has light skinn avoids the sun her family fear she becomes darker and the black moroccans who live in the south are discriminated alot when north africans show beautiful people from their community they only show the lighter ones with light eyes and hair
Hta ana chamaliya and I've heard stuff like "zin kayen fe chamal" and "nti chamalia dakchi 3alach zwina." It's so weird when the person saying that isn't light themselves or their brother sister or mother is dark. I don't take it as a compliment because you can't respect someone who thinks like that and has that obvious sense of self-hatred. It is an inferiority complex too
C'est triste mais oui je pense que en asie du sud ce problème de couleur et beaucoup plus présent et même en terme ethnie
Chez beaucoup de personnes la peau blanche est symbole de richesse
Genre bbbralao wtf
Je sais que c'était le cas il y a des années auparavant mais merde ce n'est plus le temps de la colonisation
I'm a Bengali and I'm lighter than the average Bengali people would compliment how light i was, i was flattered but now i know it's wrong.
The transition to "gLoW" and lovely is clearly just so so hypocritical . They even came out with a new song just to mask their racism in hopes of saving their business smh
DiSguStAnG!
Hey Tazzy, this is kinda unrelated, but kinda is. You reminded me of it when you where talking about how South Asian people refer to themselves as Brown. I've noticed people's kind of aversion to darker skin even in when it comes to terminology. I converted to Islam so I often get Arab and Asian sisters ask me where I'm from/ what I am ethnically and when I tell them I'm Black they almost always say something along the lines of like "Oh no dear, you're not that dark! Your brown so it's okay..." And I'm like... nooo... I'm Black-American that's what it's called (and obviously I'm proud of that and love myself). It's like they expect I automatically hate and need to deprecate myself because my skin is not white. Love the video, Tazzy.
I was told not to drink chai because I'll get darker too...
I was so pissed. I like being dark skin.
Lol i'm making it a point to drink more chai then if that's true 😁😊
What about green tea , will it lighter up ?
Same
You r dark.. İts not problem.. But you not beautiful... İts problem... U look at mirror.. Ur eyes so much scary....
Eh? Isn't it the reverse
Tea normally cleans your blood and helps to the circulation of your blood flow which makes you healthy
I don't especially like tea but i know it has it's good
This video needs to be aired on South Asian television networks
I am a dark Indian girl who has a fair-skinned sister. Growing up a lot of people (other kids, relatives etc.) would comment on my colour, I was often asked why am I so kaali (dark). However, I was never bothered by this, I always knew I was cute and never had any insecurity about my colour, often I would always have a comeback for any rude comment. But I have heard stories from my dark-skinned friends, incidents from their childhood, that traumatized them. Also, a lot of my fair-skinned friends still use products to make their skin paler, turns out you can never be fair enough.
Thank you for bringing this to "light."
When I was in Ethiopia I went to get a facial and the lady asked me if I used face creams. I thought she was complementing my skin care regimen. When I told my cousin she told me that She was asking about skin bleaching. I was appalled and I wanted to go back and tell her that I don’t believe in that lol. Ethiopians are highly obsessed with lightness. Which is sad because we’re black.
Damn Tasneems content hits different. So unique and much needed!
💛💛💛
I know a lady who puts soo much fair and lovely on her children. Her youngest child is like 3 years old. She also puts foundation on them that is 10 shades lighter. She dyes their hair blonde and now her kids have a skin allergy from the sun. It's soo shocking.
It is self hatred period.
We can all agree clear and even skin is beautiful, no matter how light or brown you are?
You've been on fire with the content lately.
Say. It. Louder. For. The. People. At. The. Back. 🙌🏾
I find dark skinned lovely feature/face indian girls most beautiful in the world. I didnt know fair-complexion is sooo fancied in that culture.
It's because of media
Most indian actress(bollywood)are choose for having fair to white skin
Except the south indian film industry
And also hollywood movies
Most of these people just tend to idealise white skin due to that
And also light skin was a sign of being a bureaucrat and having a higher status
It is not only a thing in south asia
But also in east asia,some countries in africa and in latin America
People’s colorism is as bad as ever - a Pakistani here who was told by grandma etc etc to use ubtan etc and stop going to university to become “fair” 😂😂😂 needless to say - I just show them all the middle finger
@The Truth so what skin color y'all prefer lighter or darker
@@cutecutie1845 The preference is not important. Sure we all have a skin color that we like but that does not mean that we should try and change people that are other colors.
@@cutecutie1845 Color does not matter. Hating someone because of it is wrong. Treating people poorly because of skin color is wrong.
I went into The Body Shop once to buy something and of course started chatting with the sales girl the entire time I was in there. Towards the end, she rang up my purchase and said the store received the wrong shipment of samples that was intended to go their Asian markets but somehow ended up in the US and gave me some. The packet legit said skin brightening serum when the same product in the US is marketed as something totally different. So freaking bizarre
This topic needs to be addressed so much now than ever.
After watching the Megan and Harry interview regarding a royal enquiring about a future royals skin colour being dark.
I was thinking welcome to the toxic South Asian cultures obsession with colourism.
It has been around forever the subtext of every conversation directly or indirectly being about the tone of a newly born baby or a bride on her wedding day.
It would make me so very uncomfortable when someone's outer appearance being discussed so nonchantly as though they are entitled to discuss it.
Skin is the bodys largest organ it is their to protect us so let's stop with the obsession with aesthetics and live caring,meaningful not harming others kind of life.
I've also been told I'm too dark from a potentials family.. even though they were all much more tanned than myself. Bare confusion lol
Thank you for raising awareness of this sister 🙏
For the record, Kajol was way more gorgeous with her brown skin! She looked exotic. 🥰🥰
I think alof of this is the same in my community. I think people of color have an inferiority complex compared to our "western" counterparts. Bleaching is becoming popular in latin america and africa too. Colonialism plays a big factor. I hated being dark skin when I was a kid as well. Keep up the good content Inshallah
Thanks for bringing awareness to this topic! 👏🏽👏🏽 You made sooo many excellent points as usually... it's seriously so sad that it is more acceptable to hate your natural skin color than to hate colorism. Brown is beautiful! Black is beautiful! Love the skin you're in. 🖤✊🏽✊🏿
I'm so glad you made this video. Since I was 13 my mum instilled this idea into me that I needed to scrub my neck in the shower because it was too dark/dirty.
It was only about a year or 2 ago that I learned this had happened due to post inflammatory hyperpigmentatikn. As I've grown older my PIH has gotten worse and it's made me so self conscious. I'm 20 now and it's heartbreaking to see that girls have had to be deal with comments about dark skin and have had it much worse than me.
I used to be called tall, dark and handsome by various friends in highschool, and family. but the downside was that classmates would joke that I would scalp them. as if I had a violent bone in me. I actually have many races in my blood, from white, to brown and black.
I want to make my girls confident in their skin colour but I do worry about how the colourist world will treat them. The world needs to change.
I very recently discovered you and just want to say YOU ARE HILARIOUS and sooo insightful! Loving your content! 😍 The desi community neeeeds this.
We need more desis talking about this issue! Thanks Tazzy for bringing this up . I love how you always address “real” issues
OMG love you Tasneem, i've never been this early!!!
This conversation is so important
we all agree that your content is really informative and important and well documented, but I wanted to add that you're also super funny and that your jokes land right on the spot every time. Keep the good things coming please o/
I love your videos so much and I've been subscribed for ages, but so rarely get notifications for your awesome and much needed content. Thank you for this as a dark skinned Canadian with desi roots.
Your editing makes the video 100X better. I was dying half the time from laughing lol
I loooove your content! All the best Tasneem
Thank you so much for addressing this and including our experiences. I'm going to share this with my family, its safe to say that it won't make a difference, but if we all can do our best, the girls in the upcoming generation will be free from this stupidity.
I am of Indian descent, very fair with green eyes, I never saw myself as a colour and until I went to college I never knew this on a conscious level, until it was pointed out to me over and over again as if I had anything to do with it. It got worse after I got married as I moved abroad, and if I ever made a friend I was always told by my in-laws that it was because of the colour of my face or the colour of my eyes, or the length of my hair that attracted people to me, It was as if my identity was purely physical, otherwise I didn’t exist, as if I couldn’t be liked for me but only for my colouring. It’s very sad that some people see colour and not the human. It’s messed up.
When my daughter was born, I had family and friends visit just so they could see if my daughter had green eyes and then was told by a particular in-law “Don’t worry you can have another soon who will have your colouring “ my daughter was only 7 days old. I felt hurt for my daughter and disgusted that people felt it was okay to say such things to me. Unfortunately it’s backwards and still continues to this day. I made sure my daughter grew up feeling valued and embracing her Indian identity, colour and all.
Wtf what a mess up family
Only 7 days and ....
On top of that a child skintone changes
It reminds me of me
My dad has south european traits as my grand father has balto-slavic features very white skin like east europeans
My grandmother is light fair skin
My mother has double skin tone part brown&fair
And when i was born
I was very dark
Everyone expected that i would be white tan like my dad
A few months my skin got brown
And as years past i get more fair especially during teen ages the body makes drastic changes
Now i look like my dad
Same traits and honey brown eyes with mixture of my dad's and mother skin tone
My brother was born very white with grey eyes
Everyone says he looks just like my grandfather
And the last is my sister she is very light skin but not white nordic like my brother
Masha'Allah on you Tazzy for making this video.
THANK YOU!!!
I am sick of hearing colourism, so thank you for bringing up this topic.
This is such an important topic to address, I'm glad you done this and still managed to add a bit of humour into it! I'm considered a dark skinned asian and growing up even my own sibling would taunt me about how dark I am. Thank God I'm more comfortable with the way I look but my mother to this day will ask why my lips are so dark and if I've started smoking -_-
We have this same problem in the African American community. I use to hear the same thing about drinking coffee. It has given gone as far as people thinking that my children are not mine because they are “white.” It’s very hard not to teach your children about color and to be happy with who they are when it is all around us.
@Amin Ali yes Black people are very and are good at sports and well as every other ethnicity of people. Most things that people associated with a race or ethnicity is based on a stereotype or some idea that they crated in their mind. I want my child to know that they are more than a stereotype and what ever talents they have are from Allah and not some Darwinistic idea.
I used to tell my students that I loved and drank so much hot chocolate to keep my coloring😄 Seriously, I love my skin color! On a make-up color spectrum, I'm cocoa medium and coco light (exposed parts darker).😂
Preeeeaaach Taz preach!
I'm a light-skinned Arab and have always gotten compliments on my complexion by Arabs and non-Arabs alike. I started to recognize the privilege it gave me in high school and it ended up creating in me a fear of tanning (I tan easily and it takes months to fade). I became afraid of losing my privilege. And there even came a tiny part of my brain that whispered, "thank God I was born light." I hate that we live in a world that makes me think that way. I'm happy whenever I see someone calling out this bullshit or when I see media with good representation.
I was the opposite. I always felt like my skin tone brought attention to me so I would try to tan to fit in with the rest of my cousins, despite my mother's protestations. It never worked and to this day I'm still uncomfortable that I'm marked as "different" for something I didn't choose. It probably makes me sound ungrateful but I just wanted people to stop commenting on it
Light skin south Asian here too. Totally agree on the benefiting privilege of being light skinned. Had a child hood friend who began resent and distance away from me. The comparison culture is toxic.
You should definitely keep doing this sort of videos. Love from Morocco
💛
Here's a question - when did this obsession with fair skin take hold? My mother once asked her father about this light skin/dark skin commentary that occurs in the desi community (she asked around the 80s and 90s). Her father told her that in his day (1930s, 40s and 50s), talking about other people's skin colour was considered extremely rude and backward.
When I was born, my uncle (from my father's side) apparently commented on my darker complexion. My mother was furious with him, and still is 36 years later :D My mother is quite fair (she takes on after her mother before her, her father was darker). My father himself is also darker. I am a glorious shade right in the middle. My parents raised me to (thankfully) never be self conscious about my skin colour. It was quite the culture shock to be visiting Pakistan, watching tv and seeing skin whitening cream being blatantly advertised. Add to that Bollywood actresses who are already quite fair, advertising these products, then getting airbrushed in pictures to look even lighter (sometimes the magazines get called out for it, but not always).
Also, my younger brother takes on after my mother, on the fairer side. When people see he and I together, they can't believe we're related.
Given that my mother is really fair, you may be thinking...she's never had to go through the same bullsh*t darker people go through. SIRENS, FLASHING LIGHTS, NEON RED WARNING SIGNS!!! Wrong! The makeup used on her for her wedding was atrocious (80s trends aside). She had so much white powder put on her, she literally looked like a clown/ghost/ghost clown. No joke. She hates those pictures so much. And I feel so bad for her because she couldn't say anything to the person putting it on her, without making it seem to everyone else that she was insulting them.
But it doesn't matter whether you're desi, or Caucasian, or anything else. Women face incredibly sexist and unfair beauty standards...standards which have usually been set by men.
Omg love this video 👏🏼👏🏼
You are such a beautiful soul. Thank you, I was never insecure about my skin colour ever but recently I began to feel my life would be much better if I had white skin.
I believe Kajol because I was darker when I was younger too to being in the sun so much. I am lighter skinned now not due to any skin treatments but simply because I’m no longer in the sun and I use sunscreen.
1:47 "slightly happier" and then that lil chuckle she has to herself yeah i know that look 😂😂😂
Awesome video Tasneem!!!
I went to high school in Pakistan; lots of the Pakistani kids used to comment on my dark skin. Having grown up in America up to that point, it was perplexing.
When I came back to the United States I realized that attitude had been here all along as well. So disappointing.
Aren't most of the pakistani fair skin like I'm indian I can't say but yeah most of my classmates in my school have lightskin
Lool yes I relate even our own friends and family start having a problem with your skin colour
I just found you and have been watching out of order. I think it's funny that the video I watched before this was your 28 and unmarried video. And in this one you're married 🤣 so happy for you 💘
Bro I LOVE your content. Keep it up queen
You called her "bro" 😭😂😂
@@EsaChinita haha I just noticed, I call everyone that looool 😂😂😂
fun fact: this all started when the british colonisers came to india and they favoured lightskins so yeah, thats why we have this colourism
I am extremely light skinned for my ethnic background so I try to recognise my privilege as much as I can but most of my relatives are very dark skinned including my dad, but sometimes he makes very offhanded comments about non-eurocentric facial features even though he's very dark himself and it makes me uncomfortable. So I wonder if it is a projection of internalised feelings and whether other dark skinned individuals do this, especially if they come from affluent backgrounds like we do (only in Lebanon, not here in the UK)
when i was a little girl i was told by an elder in my family to drink milk with starch to make me whiter 😂 , where as my blonde cousin would look at me and be like dude why aren't you tanner don't you ever go out in the sun !!
you should never concern yourself with looking a certain way to please everyone because it's impossible
Good job girl be an inspiration
Assalamualaikum Tasneem! The last video I saw of yours was 28 brown and unmarried and so happy to come back a year later to your married video. Also, I’m more of a silent RUclips watcher, never commenting on videos. But this one compelled me to thank you for creating awareness about the issue of colorism in South Asia. I’m obviously dark skinned compared to my elder sister. I have a memory from my early teens about a conversation between my brother and my mom
regarding how I look good but ‘sirf rang aur wazan main maar khaagaye’. Before you hate them for their words or feel upset for me, I just want to say that even though that and other incidents and comments led me to develop self-hatred (which is my struggle even today), now, when I look back at all the comments/remarks, I actually feel sorry for my mom, brother and others. Both were a victim of ‘kaala tang’. I even remember my brother used to use fair and lovely. My mom would make aswell but I was too lazy and didn’t really believe in it’s usefulness. Over the years, I convinced myself that I’m ugly because I’m fat and dark. What’s funny is that when I moved here and noticed how my dark skinned cousins don’t feel bad for their skin color, that’s when it hit me about the brain washing and obsession that is only in Pakistan and other similar countries. A part of me is relieved to have moved away. I still look at myself in the mirror with disgust sometimes but Alhamdulillah that has changed. I am Allah’s perfect creation. He picked my color because He knows that it’s perfect for me. It’s work in progress for me but while I have been lucky, I know others who are still fighting this white obsession in Pakistan with no choice but to burn their skins using ‘fair and ugly’.
It doesn’t matter to me that you’re privileged. What’s important is that you care, you’re aware and that you’re making others aware too. Even if one person changes their maladaptive thinking through your video, it would be worth it.
Happy marriage and a blessed Ramadan! ❤️
this was a great watch tazzy phe. I think you did a good job with addressing the issue and the anonymous comments towards the end brought out the seriousness of the problem. not gonna lie, this affects me in a way and in a way it doesn't affect me at all. I tend to be comfortable being tanned. but I also have an edge about losing my sense of personal identity if my skin gets too tanned or too light. it shouldn't matter though.
It was funny when you said "TO BE FAIR, there is a lot of people who spoke out" ;-) you're great tazzy
I learning about Culture and your helped me a lot , as an American, for me different cultures are amazing
This doesn't fit with this video, but wanted to let you know that I'll be writing my term paper on your thesis about Halima and the whole representation topic!
That’s so cool, good luck!!
@@daniatahir2494 thank you!! :)
:)
The tea whitener 😂 was not seeing that coming
What's funny is that they changed it to glow and lovely in markets that opposed but in markets like the middle east where I live, fair and lovely is everywhere! You would think a company would be consistent in their values across the globe.
9:08 omggg thank you!! I could never put that into words! :0
i admire this woman
WHY DONT YOU HAVE MORE SUBS I AM NOT COMPREHENDING
Because she doesnt have consistent uploads now alhamdulilah shes uploading more her channel will grow but the youtube algorithm recommends you the more consistently you upload
this is true. 💛
Great work.....it's not about the mindset,it's about status beliefs.....till people see everyone like themselves these madness will not end and this requires belief in kindness by the soul. Allah hafiz.
Love you tazzy
THANK YOU
I am from Ethiopia. There is colorism in my country too, but on the contrary in my family, my siblings who are very light skinned used to get name called like “ blood less” ( I think it’s basically saying melanin less lol) “ breeds” implying being mixed with someone white skin who is not from my country. It’s hard if you are too dark or too light in my country. you have to have this glowish brown color.
here i am working very hard on getting a tan every time i go on holiday lol and people want to bleach their skin........
Woww thats crazy how many skin whitening ads there are on that mag.
Im desi...and i dont care skin colour AT ALL....
i love your channel