BON JOVI BODY COUNT: What To Say When A Guy Asks Your Body Count or Sexual History | Shallon Lester
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 1 ноя 2024
- 💎XOSTYLEBOX, first month free: bit.ly/3vDuZLb
👑 JOIN THE SHALLONTOURAGE: EXCLUSIVE VIDS & CHATS WITH ME! hdly.me/shallon
Save 25% on 2 months with code BFF
✨MANIFESTING COURSE: bit.ly/3TwV9Hy
Use code SHALLONXO for 20% off!
❤️ 1-on-1 HELP FROM ME: CUSTOM VIDEOS! www.passes.com...
💜 Watch More Shallon Lester💜
Latest Uploads: bit.ly/31jN8cg
⭐Kardashian Psychology: bit.ly/31nX2cR
⭐Confidence & Body Image: bit.ly/2SYo87c
⭐The Truth About Taylor Swift: bit.ly/2T7zkyx
⭐Gigi & Bella Hadid: bit.ly/2Ti93NX
⭐College Dating & More: bit.ly/2ZqfAIP
⭐Players & F**kboys: bit.ly/2SY8cSF
⭐The Truth About Shawn Mendes: bit.ly/2ZC04ti
💜About Shallon Lester💜
CELEB GOSSIP AND LOVE LESSONS!
Got a love, dating or friendship question? You've come to the right place! I'm Shallon Lester, a two-time published author, NYC magazine editor and star of Howcast's viral kissing videos. I spill the tea on celebs like Kylie Jenner, the Kardashians, Beyonce, Shawn Mendes, Justin Bieber, Hailey Baldwin, Rihanna and more, breaking down their relationships, scandals and psychology to see what lessons WE can learn, and give you no-nonsense advice and real-world tips on everything from dating apps and players, to family and friends!
I’ve been asked twice in the last year! First, by my 40 year old boyfriend at the time and second, by a 30 year old I was casually seeing. Both times they started off by telling me their body count then asking what mine is. Both times I didn’t answer saying something like “I’m not saying, that’s personal.” They both played it off like they respected it but I can tell it bothered them I wouldn’t say.
Oooo this is a scenario I didn't address--if THEY volunteer it first! Classic "gifting manipulation" technique--we feel beholden to people if they give us a gift or go out of their way, and this falls under that category, psychologically speaking. "Well I told you!!" Cool I didn't ask? Don't make me feel indebted to a "gift" I didn't want, ask for, or value.
I would lose interest if someone had taboo subjects, it points to insecurity and I don't like it. I like people who shamelessly put cards on the table and are fine with being seen and comfortable with being judged. In relationship, I mean.
@@shallonlesterThere's a very similar psychological concept which I believe applies called “reciprocity" which is when you are given a small gift, you feel compelled to give one back that is often bigger or more costly.
@@joannawinters6592It's true that withholding any information can definitely trigger trust issues, but I think there’s privacy and then there’s secrecy. If you’re withholding information from your partner that's harmful, it’s secrecy, which is a red flag. But everyone is entitled to some privacy whether you’re in a relationship or not. Sometimes someone can seem overly forthcoming in an effort to hide something more sinister and sometimes respecting other’s boundaries can actually make those walls come tumbling down.
Recently, I was seeing a guy casually and he was 24 and I’m 23 and I basically saw him down and told him that I wasn’t connecting with him on a sexual level just for various reasons and he took it pretty well and he said I’ve never had a girl tell me that, he said “I’ve had sex with more than 30 women at least” and I’m like okay???? And I almost felt like I should tell him mine which is more 😂😂but I didn’t
Men asking about body count and then bitching about the answer is the epitome of 'play stupid games, win stupid prizes'
@@Newlife-ol6pk I'm not mad at dudes that care. I'm not mad at men who think they can 'risk assess' by asking. I just think it's stupid. And my belief it's just a stupid thing to care about is bolstered by what men I've seen hyper fixated on it, two dimensional knuckle draggers who have not much else to say for themselves, or, insecure children. If that's the type of topic someone would want to talk to me about, instead of discussing thoughts about politics, travels, philosophy, art, etc.....yeah, they're just playing stupid games. It goes the same for women, if I met a woman who only cared about talking about 'rich' people, or how expensive someone's car is.....yeah, they're just stupid. 🤷♂🤣
@@FishareFriendsNotFood972But would a woman accept a man who abused 10 women in the past? And before you say that it's not the same thing.. From one point of view it's the same thing because both are trying to see if they can have a healthy relationship with the person in front of them. Maybe the person in front of them made a mistake in the past and maybe he has changed, but there is a much greater risk of committing the same things again. The man does not want to invest time, energy, and even often make a financial effort if there is a risk that that woman will change him like she changes her socks. If you, as a woman, don't think this thing is important, then be honest and say so, call him a misogynist, if you like it, but be honest because if he values it and you don't, why bother each other? What I don't understand is the woman in the comments who says that it's good to lie and that with the video.. If she thinks it's not a bad thing, why is she hiding it? And if you think that the men who ask this are bad, why do you hide and want to be in a relationship with them??? It makes absolutely no sense at all. Unless you're a pretend hypocrite (I'm not talking about you, but about the situation)
They want a preview of how loose the box will be (and how alpha widowed and damaged the girl is)
I don't think I get the connection. Why do you think that is?
My personal opinion from my own experiences is that men with high body counts usually aren’t good in bed like no one came back for seconds lol
Yes, the worst sex I’ve ever had was with men that due to their high social status, have a high body count.
LMFAOOOOOO that's so funny and probably true. Or their personalities were so problematic
Yes!
Oh Yesssss
😂😂😂 "Personal experience" ..Are you aware the men who are interested in your number are not the one you had your experiences with? 🤣🤣🤣 You are mad at those with values and you dotn realize i has nothing to do with the rest of men ,the men who donr want to marry a woman with "personal experience"
I remember in college an older guy (31) I was seeing said his body count was in the 90's. I thought he'd be amazing in bed-he was the worst I ever had. I learned then how little that number mattered with that unfortunate experience. Apparently his number was high because like me, no other woman wanted to give him a second chance.
Right!!
Why did you waste your youth on an old guy?
Truer words have never been spoken 👏
That's the main reason why women don't care about men's body count they want experience for ''bed''
But for men it matters cuz of psychological things of women cuz the more you engage in sex with different partners, then the probability of maintaining the long term relationship declines that's why we ask about body count cuz at the end we have to lose our half of all earned money
My biggest concern is STD’s and not so much about their body count. I’m from a small town and my sisters told me all the boys in this town are off limits, they just spread and share the diseases. All my friends from high school who never got the talk from their older siblings got incurable diseases by the time we were in our 20’s. I don’t care about body count honestly as long as you protected yourself, and kept it sanitary so that I can reap the benefits of all those hours of practice.
Hmmm if only we could figure out how these things spread ..
@@windsong8275 I know I know. Unprotected sex, probably with multiple partners. But hear me out. I’ve got a friend, best friend even we met in our mid twenties and she’s an escort and is not ashamed of it, her and her escort friends call themselves businesswomen, hustlers and whatever. They’ve been at it since they were teenagers at a different high school. Her and her escort friends learned about safe sex early and take every precaution necessary to prevent contracting anything.
So clearly it is possible to stop the spread of std’s and hopefully men take the necessary measures to make sure they stay healthy too.
Do you think it’s too much to ask when I say “I dont care about your body count as long as you don’t make me sick?”
@@windsong8275 I know I know. Unprotected sex, probably with multiple partners.
But hear me out. I’ve got a friend, best friend even, we met in our mid twenties and she’s an escort and is not ashamed of it, her and her escort friends call themselves businesswomen, hustlers and whatever. They’ve been at it since they were teenagers at a different high school. Her and her escort friends learned about safe sex early and take every precaution necessary to prevent contracting anything.
So clearly it is possible to stop the spread of std’s and hopefully men take the necessary measures to make sure they stay healthy too.
Do you think it’s too much to ask when I say “I dont care about your body count as long as you don’t make me sick?”
@@windsong8275 I know I know. Unprotected sex, probably with multiple partners. But hear me out. I’ve got a friend, best friend even we met in our mid twenties and she’s an escort and is not ashamed of it, her and her escort friends call themselves businesswomen, hustlers and whatever. They’ve been at it since they were teenagers at a different high school. Her and her escort friends learned about safe sex early and take every precaution necessary to prevent contracting anything.
So clearly it is possible to stop the spread of std’s and hopefully men take the necessary measures to make sure they stay healthy too.
Do you think it’s too much to ask when I say “I dont care about your body count as long as you don’t make me sick?”
Great point!!
Women get judged for having sex women get judged for not having sex , we can't win.
Men get judged for being good ,men get judged for being bad...
@Newlife-ol6pk the only difference is that women lose their lives when men act badly.
Men rarely lose their lives when women act badly
@Newlife-ol6pk Nope. Men never get judged for being good. And since most guys are AWFUL than we know that women are so amazing to always look for excuses for them, like them regardless and many times even marry them.
Where I come from body count relates to the number of people killed by a hitman. So if I was asked this I would kindly explain that I’ve never killed anyone.
😂
"Have I murdered anyone through my sheer sexuality?? Well then yes, I have."
@@shallonlester I have to agree you’re guilty as charged! You dress to kill with your amazing clothing subscription service. It’s also criminal how beautiful you are!
Seriously, I love your content. I especially love it when you do a British accent (which is really good). I know you love our British crime shows and once said you love it when we use the terms like; old bill, coppers, bobbies, guvner. Yes they are still in use by us Brits. ❤😂
Same!! That’s what that term actually means anyway.
Personally I don’t like the language of “body count” because I think sex is about more than just a body but about who you are with. Like I wouldn’t want the guy I’m with to refer to me as just a “body” in this context.
Thank you!! I’ve said too friends in the last month “I’m sick of being spoken to like I’m a fleshlight with teeth” I’m mind body and soul not just body.
correct, its foul language. Cant we be adults and say "how many people have you had sex with? "
Amen
@hollygrace6814 or be an adult and understand that's not your business. It's one thing to ask if they are responsible with their sexual health, but their past sexual partners have nothing to do with you.
But many times it's just sex
Instead of body count, I think that a more productive question would be to find out your partner’s outlook on sex -ie are you comfortable with casual sex, would you prefer to be in a committed relationship before becoming intimate sexually, etc - because I think that’s what people are really trying to figure out. That might be a worthwhile conversation but not on date 1
00:30 as a rock/metal geek I have to answer this 😂 so basically back then they made music as a group so it was all the members of that group owning it - but obviously it wasn't as simple as that. Bands disbanded all the time and they could kick you out even if you are the most valuable member/frontman or the founder of the group and keep profiting off your work with the renowned name of that band. One of the best examples of this is the Misfits-Danzig drama. By making that band's name your own surname you are basically guaranteed to never be tossed aside by your backstabbing bandmates. Van Halen and Ramones also did this - both were bands that were founded by brothers. It was a way to protect your work.
Thank you for putting this out there!! personally, I love the name Bon Jovi for the band name ❤
@@Lauren_22613 me too ❤
That's pretty interesting, never thought of it that way!
@tinycindy2977 Except for The Ramones, since none of them had the surname Ramones, and none were related 😎
@@Mrs.Tarasevitch oh, thanks for correcting me. I probably confused their backstory with some other group at some point in time and it stayed LOL
If a man ask for your body count ask how much money he has in his bank account Sprinkles sprinkles ✨
exactly
Well, I don't think the way to fight sexism is with....sexism. In patriarchy, if women (the group disadvantaged by patriarchy) try to 'out sexism' men, they will lose 100% of the time. If you think the question is disrespectful, just say so. Making men feel like their only value is their bank account just digs us all into the hole further.
Oh my! Nice to see you here! Cross Platform
No, better ask their mom's body count.
@@grazielaalmeida8438 Please don't. It's such a bad look trying to tear down another woman just to make your point.
Tbh just bc a guy has a lot of sex that doesn’t mean they’re good at it 😂 they view sex as a sport
Exactly! I've found that the sleazier the guy, the worse he is in bed. I think maybe it's because they only do one night stands, so they never get any feedback.
The man who had the highest body count who I was with was the WORST. I actually had to hold back laughing from how mortified I was.
@@CHK12319 omg 😂 I'm begging for some details
@@Li_Tobler I will provide 😂😂 while going down on me, he shook his head violently side to side while giving me rasberries… there was so tongue involved at all-just lots of air. I was very confused 😂 then he attempted to finger me by ferociously rubbing me like 5 inches too high on my pubic bone. To finish it off, he kept asking me if I liked his “big long d*ck” repeatedly when it was not big or long… confusion and mortification ensued is all I can say 😂 I came to find out after he had slept with 100+ women. The whole thing was substantially worse than when I lost my virginity at 16. I assume had to keep serial dating to find new partners because no woman would want to sign up for that long-term.
Ooof so true, they bounce before a girl can get bored or sober or realize he's mid at best. Huge motivation for fuckboys.
You can practice and be a pro even if you sleep with one person. Also we have the internet, porn, literature etc. to learn from. Not necessarily you have to sleep with hundreds randoms and risk your health and go through so many heartbreaks to be good at it.
If I had to choose between 100 times with 1 person and 100 times with 100 people I'd choose the 1st
@@freyjaalmighty6764 exactly! Practice makes perfect but only with the right partner ;)
Precisely
I want to understand the psychology of wives and long-term girlfriends that are totally fine sharing their husband/boyfriend. Like, does the thrill of "winning" - being the woman with the title - superscede the need for their man to be faithful? At what point does a woman go through her adult life being like - I'm okay sharing my boyfriend/husband. Did the maternal figures in their life teach them this? This kind of nihilistic, machiavellian idea that the man is the prize, and since she has the title, she WON, and that's all that matters?
Umm, well, I'm a non monogamous woman and I'm totally fine 'sharing' partners because sex is not the primary thing that bonds me to my partner. My partner does not own my body either so I can do what I please so long as we are honest. It's like saying, 'how can your husband play chess with other women??' Well, it can just be a fun activity sometimes, it doesn't need to be deeper than that, and just because they sometimes play chess with other people doesn't mean I'm not their favorite chess partner or who they want to sleep beside and share a life with. Sex can be meaningful, sex can be shallow. Some people make a really big whoop out of it, others don't. I'm lucky to love someone who sees eye to eye with me on this, and I hope everyone else can find that with their partner! I think monogamous folks are lovely and wish them all the best, just I wish they could accept diversity of opinion on this matter a bit more sometimes.🙂
Babes it’s called money 😂 most of these celeb wives and gfs will tolerate cheating so long as a baby isn’t made
@@amarjotsingh8455 Well, maybe for girlfriends, not wives. Even with a prenup (which can and does get disputed in divorces) most wives would have more access and control of money if they divorce rich men than if they stay. I've seen plenty of divorces with 'trophy wives' (I'm an attorney). This whole trope of wives who tolerate cheating for money is patently untrue. They stay because they actually do love their partner, which I see as sad but sympathetic. Never underestimate the ability of a woman to make terribly self defeating choices out of love for a man who mistreats her!
@@FishareFriendsNotFood972”love” is money 😂 when Kobe cheated on his wife she kept her mouth shut during the press conference and played her position 😂 where is a woman like her going to go, she has no skills or talents
There's a famous actress in my country that come out recently saying that she not only let her husband do whatever he wants with her but also opened the marriage to prevent him from being bored, 5 months later after thia public confession her husband left her.
How about responding with: "Thank you so much for bringing up this topic! Would you mind if we both get tested before any, and I mean any, physical intimacy? Your treat!"
Exactly
Then ''Thank you for saying that and we can do that but why do you mind just answering the question, do it, but if u don't tell the bye''
I went down on a guy and he stopped me to shame me in the dumbest way. “Why are you so good at that?!?” “Are you for real dude?” 🤨
I do think that would be an appropriate moment for a 'your Dad' joke 🤣
"Harry Potter fanfiction"
That's [super] creepy..
@@courtneyunpluggedthe real answer!
Someone doesn't want any more blow jobs
I personally find it distasteful for men to ask me that and would never divulge that information simply because it’s none of their damn business.
but its NOT disrespectful... its only disrespectful for wimen who who-ed around and are ashamed for it... sooo, whats your bodycount.? LOL :-)
@missopinionated0000 Their past sexual experiences have ZEROOOO to do with you. It's one thing to make sure they are responsible regarding their sexual health, but their past sexual partners don't define them nor is it your or anyone else's business.
@@julie-mt2xr but it does defind you some way !!!
@missopinionated0000 in what way ?? When I'm single I have fun and have sex with who I want, when I'm in a relationship I'm extremely loyal and am in it for the long term. Sexual history is literally irrelevant unless it has some bearing on the present like an STD or a child. It's very strange for a grown woman to think any of that is her business and shame other people for being sexually experienced.
The past is the best predictor of the future. There are countless studies correlating promiscuous behaviour with mental illness, drug/alcohol usage, higher chance of infidelity, higher chance of divorce and less Martial satisfaction.
Not to mention its literally disgusting and is a sin.
In my 40s here. I would just laugh and say. Thats such a highschool question. Your not in highschool. Then change the subject. I wouldn't give them the satifaction of them thinking they offended me.
Definitely! It’s an extremely immature and disrespectful thing to say.
If a man were to ask me that, the date is over. No exceptions….because…really what sane person asks that? That’s like asking a woman how much she weighs or asking her for her SSN. Classless.
Or asking a guy to send a pic of his dick soft 😵😂
Ohh so you can ask a man how much he make. Single queen bye, DS
Seems like an odd thing to ask. I would never ask someone that.
Good for you ma’am. It definitely is.
I'm still young and learning in the dating world. I sadly actually answered this question when a guy I was talking to asked me. I wish I would've seen this video before. I feel like the question, "what's your body count/ how experienced are you?" is disrespectful yet I gave him information that he didn't have the right to know. That's a personal matter that a guy should never ask. I needed to see my value and worth in myself and not answer him. If I could do it all again, I would've come back with "why are you asking me that? you're weird" I guess I did think it was 'normal' for a guy to ask when it isn't appropriate and makes him very immature. You give great advice and you're so funny. I hope to grow as a confident person and learn to set more boundaries. I need to stop being nice to people who don't deserve it & be more assertive
Don't beat yourself up ! That's why dating is for. We all have made mistakes and are better at it now. You'll do better with time and learn so many things. I'm so excited for youuuu :)
@@haryel5058 thank you for the motivation ! 🩷 I hope that the next time I will be better at rejecting guys & making sure he likes me for me and not just for one thing haha
ahhh I'm also excited about dating and finding someone who matches my interests ;)
A 304 should not talk about value and morals and worth and etc
@@sweet4sweet wdym?
This is the monologue that the barbie movie needed
“I shame and gaslight them 🙂” lol pls you’re so funny 🤣
Thanks for bringing up this topic for the younger women who feel pressured to answer. When asked I come back " None of your business" I'd they don't like it, I bounce.
Good for you ma’am.
@@MalloryNewcombnaah, actually its good for him
I used to think that men wanted a girl with the lowest possible number. Until I had a guy ghost me after figuring out that I was still a virgin, even though he went on shaming older and higher body count women. So I went on Reddit to ask, what is the ideal body count for woman, and no one could come up with an definitive answer. The closest thing I got was “less than his”.
Losers will find an issue with both. It can actually be useful and a way to filter out trash
That dude just wanted to find someone to sleep with. Obviously it's harder if it's a virgin so he ghosted.
Virgin is ideal for wife still.
He was there just to have sex nothing long term but a man who wants long term relationship or marriage he will definitely choose a virgin over high body count any day
Less than five ideally, and they should be boyfriends.
My response is that’s a loaded question; you are damned no matter your answer. Just bc you are asked a question doesn’t mean you need to answer it
This! It really took me decades to realize this--I dont owe ANYONE an answer on ANY topic. Not my BFF, not my partner, hell not even my doctors sometimes! My life, history and heart belong to ME.
13:00 but it is very common these days for women in their 20s to have a higher body count than women in their 40s. Even if those 40 year olds have never been married or they've been divorced a long time. In one Facebook group I belong to there was a long discussion one time of how many women in their 40s and 50s had a lower body count than many women in their 20s. A few women were actually upset that their daughters were in their early 20s and had slept with 30-40 men and when the mothers were that same age in the 1990s , they'd slept with maybe 5-10. They also compared how many younger women are very open with their body count and just sex overall. I've noticed that myself. I'm 52 and when I was in my 20s, body count was only discussed among close friends.
Overall my motto is less history, more mystery. I think social media has caused women to just blab too much 😅
Girl that thing about the options is not true, as I’m married to someone who’s turned down multiple chicks we were all in a friends circle with. He just cares more about being smart, nerdy shit and video games honestly 😅 there are all kinds of people out there
Imo it's fine if you match up to your own standards. If you want someone with a high/low bodycount, does yours match? There's a lot of triple digit men (or so they claim) who think they're entitled to chaste virgins like....no.
to be fair, you are ones spreading your legs for them and increasing their count
THIS is the best take on the “body count” question I have seen so far. Thank you so much.
I’m truly hoping that the next generation of women entering the dating market squash out this dysfunctional norm. Whether they have a “body count” in the 100s or are wholesome virgins - NOBODY should be asking/answering this question. There are ways to discuss bodily health (if it’s necessary) without preeminently assigning moral judgment. At the end of the day it’s misogyny - and I say that as someone who DOES NOT agree with feminism.
Thank you! Right, I feel like some people dress it up as "UHHH WELL I'm just being responsible about STDs!" bro shut up no youre not. That's an entirely different question.
@@shallonlesteror maybe he is afraid of losing his half 🤷
Hey Shallon, I would like for you to make a video on how to be better at speaking. Your videos are unedited yet you manage to express everything without stuttering, you have a way with words.
I don't even take umbrage with being asked my body count, so much as I do someone actually using a term as utterly douche-cringe as "body count" in real life. 🤢
Yeah, the term sounds a bit like we're talking to a serial killer, doesn't it? Like.....where are these 'bodies' buried, might I ask??? 🤯🤡
@@FishareFriendsNotFood972 Exactly! Big Yikes.
"You may not be the first, but you'll be my last"... is the only answer I'll give.
I always own up to my body count. If a guy can't handle the competition and isn't challenged by it, he's not the guy for me
wider than the grand canyon!
I actually get complaints that I'm too (up)tight sometimes. 🤣 I didn't sleep with a lot of men, but I don't feel the need to hide anything. I will never be shamed into hiding the truth
@@neledemeulemeester754
Oh, I thought u had a high count.
If you have a low count, it’s good. Guys will be happy to hear it.
Just the way you said it “can’t handle competition” made me think u had a high count.
lol good pun with (up)tight
Side note..you held the flute perfectly when you mimed it. So impressed!! 😯😂👏
Can I add a fourth reaction? It also works if you...just don't answer! I've completely ignored the question altogether. I've responded with, "What do you think you're having for dinner tonight?" or "I just finished up that work project I was telling you about, the presentation went well!" and they chuckle and get the hint. It feels very passive and calm.
Edit: Oh and if they keep pressing, I literally just turn around and leave the conversation. Or stop responding if it's online.
I think the reason men ask for body count is to see if someone is promiscuous. Men are territorial so I just think that they don't seek a promiscuous person as a long term relationship. Unfortunately there are double standards for females. Men don't get emotionaly attached as us females do when we have sex. Men and women are different. Just my honest opinion.
*women
Yup men and women are different. Women release more oxytocin when being intimate.
That's the main reason we ask about body count because of psychological things of women cuz the more you engage in sex with different partners, then the probability of maintaining the long term relationship declines that's why we ask about body count cuz at the end we have to lose the half and our kids too 🤷
@@sweet4sweet I enjoy sex so I have sex. If I’m not getting the emotional attachment I want out of it then I leave. But I most certainly would love a trust worthy long term relationship. I’m very maternal I’d love to take care of my boyfriend, I did with my exs(pack them lunch, write them notes, be faithful etc.) just because a woman likes sex doesn’t mean she doesn’t want a long term relationship.
You can have great sex without experience because it’s mostly psychological. Even pain can feel like pleasure when you do it with love and passion. When you do it with many different people the passion goes away.
Oh I agree having only a few partners or waiting until marriage does not mean you’re not a sexual person. I’ve got married friends who tell me… haha the wait was worth it! I think the quality of the experience has a lot to do with the quality of the partner.
I dont even buy that men ask the question out of concern for their sexual health. Men rarely go get tested on their own accord, not to mention, you can get an STI with a low body count or just by having oral sex one time. Like. The two don’t go hand in hand
The last ten minutes of this video was so POWERFUL! I love that. It gave me so much courage to tell it how it is when asked something about myself thats innapropriate.
To be completely frank here Shallon, I do think this is more of a 'young person' thing than a 'man' thing. I am bisexual and have encountered similar levels of fixation about body count from never married men and women in their 20s, and I have NEVER been asked 'body count' by a potential partner over the age of 40, because by that age, no one I've met cares. So if someone does care about this, I would just see it as a sign of their maturity level. I don't see some 22 year old guy caring as all that much of a red flag, because they are young and silly and insecure and that often comes out in the wash with age. I used to think sex mattered so much when I was 22 and now, ehhh, there are more important things. If some 45 year old man were to ask that, (which has never happened personally), I think I would find it so immature I would immediately guffaw. I think it can also be age gap related? As in, a part of the allure of dating an older person is curiosity about how their life experience may be different from yours, so there may be more exoticizing the numbers.
If he doesn’t care, he also doesn’t see a future with you and doesn’t care about you either
@@kiuk_kiks You can speak for yourself, but you certainly can't speak for all men, lolololol
@@FishareFriendsNotFood972
Whenever men don’t care about your past, they don’t care about your future either because they won’t be in it anyway.
@@kiuk_kiks OK, this is all ridiculous. I have always been completely open with people about my number, because it's no big deal to me. If men were really as hung up on this dumb number thing as this whole convo makes it seem, then I would have a harder time getting committed partners the older I get, because my number has gone up with age. But my life experience has been the exact opposite, the older I get, the more opportunities for serious partners I've had, and have taken, because I'm wiser and better at being a partner. That has been the case with every single friend I've had too, they get older, their 'number' goes up, they become better people, they settle down. This comment section really just needs to go touch grass and stop acting like the opinions of internet weirdos reflect real life.
@@kiuk_kiks OK, this is all ridiculous. I have always been completely open with people about my number, because it's no big deal to me. If men were really as hung up on this number thing as this whole convo makes it seem, then I would have a harder time getting committed partners the older I get, because my number has gone up with age. But my life experience has been the exact opposite, the older I get, the more opportunities for serious partners I've had, and have taken, because I'm wiser and better at being a partner. That has been the case with every single friend I've had too, they get older, their 'number' goes up, they become better people, they settle down. This comment section really just needs to go touch grass and stop acting like the opinions of internet weirdos reflect real life.
Shallon I say this every video but you fucking crack me up, your impersonations have me laughing fr 😂
shallon: "People should shame you if you judge them for their body count"
Shallon immediately after: "If he says 500, I'm like ughh you probably aren't picky about who you are sleeping with, side eye, probably doesn't have standards"
I guess off topic but he's a smoke, i found him attractive when i was 15 and now at 29 🙌🏼😄
Shallon I wish to know how did you become an author at 22
Please tell more about that. That's is such an amazing thing to do.
JON BON JOVI on the beginning of this video, YES!!!❤❤ I was pleasantly surprised to see this, he was my first crush and first love when I was 4 years old in 1985….been a huge Jovi fan ever since, so just wanted to say thanks for this 😁🥰😍 I think it’s extraordinary and sweet how he and his wife Dorothea are still in love and are so grounded after all these years and growing up together, they have such a beautiful love story ❤❤
He is so dreamy. Blaze of Glory took me OUT!
@@shallonlester yesss girl 😍 that’s one of my favorites!! Basically all of their 80s videos took me out, haha 😍🤤
Haha. My first crush too. At 7 years old.
This is a very western take. On one hand I understand the “you do you” take but for me it’s the intention that matters. Personally if I am having a good time with a guy and I enjoy his company I would never ask this question to him. Maybe I will ask him if we get into a serious relationship and just having a conversation about it. For me it is important to know the intention behind sleeping with a “lot of” people. If it’s because you are seeking validation and just hooking up with randos for a prolonged period of time to boost your ego or to get over an ex that seems problematic to me. You chose to do this instead of getting therapy?! You are then in fact INSECURE because you don’t sleep around for your own sexual pleasure and to learn more about your body!
That does still live in your own insecurity and perception of others.
First that’s your own insecurity and I’m not from the west, second you’re judging someone on their past.
I swear Shallon hits it on the bulls eye every single time 😍👏🏻👏🏻
The answer is 5. It is always 5 because those who want to know are asking with an acceptable number in mind and that number is 5.
A lady that lies, why am I not surprised.
It doesn’t matter if you can’t find the bodies.
There's a saying in Spanish that translated goes loke this, "if it wasn't in your year, it did you no harm".
Real men don’t care about body count. It tells you a lot about them like you said, it’s a good way to see who is secure vs insecure.
The same way he reacts to you getting attention from people when you are out, if a guy starts giving soft insults because he doesn’t like me getting attention I’m outtttta there. Insecure men will break you down to the level they are secure with if you let them. Let’s be honest that’s just an empty echoing shell.
Is not wrong for a man or a woman to not desire a person who has a crazy sexual
My main issue with the body count conversation is
1) STD’s; please practice safe sex and don’t infect me with anything
2) jealousy; practice with me 😫 lol
3) really wanted to be a virgin till I got married and all my friends asked if that meant I wanted to marry a virgin too. I was like oh heavens no, that would be so boring, 2 inexperienced people being awkward in the bedroom 😂😂😂
Personally I just ask for their own count... and then laugh. 😂 They always change the topic then.😉
😂
"That's private. Could be 3, could be 30. If you want to stop this train and go get tested because you fear for your life, we can do that."
His reaction to that will tell me everything I need to know. Will he let it go? Will he accuse me if being ashamed to try and manipulate me into telling him? I'd rather know sooner than later.
It's amazing how fuckboys like to keep a woman unbalanced and guessing but can't handle uncertainty themselves 🤷♀️
You realise that fboys are like 5% of men. The other 95% of men are not piping girls every night, and are lucky to have a count above 5.
So yes, most of you girls have far more bodies than the guys that you end up 'settling' for.
That chicken and flute example is amazing! Haha 👏👏👏
I agree.. this doesn't need to be even asked bc it's a metric to automatically devalue women ironically regardless of where they are at. My curiosity is how can we know that a guy thinks like this before we get involved with them in any way. I'd want to identify this right in the beginning.
My husband never asked. We been married for five years and together for 8. He knows I have a past and he knows he does it. Never once utter it.
this style on u girl!!!! YUMMMM u stunner
Just pay attention to the lyrics of "Bed of Roses" there he confesses about his indiscretions with lovely vocabulary.
I’ve never been asked. Mainly because I give off the energy that you aren’t allowed to ask.
it’s funny because I am a traditional woman with a low body count and I would never date a guy with a high bodycount 🤣
some ppl aren’t themselves what they ask others to be and it’s funny and sad
You know there are traditional men with low counts that are looking for a girl with a low count.
The guys asking the question are after a low count.
And lets do some math. A regular 20 year old man with a body count of 100 is impressive. A rock icon that is 61 years old with a body count of 100, not so much. That means that between 20 and 61 he had sex with less then 3 women a year. Being a rock star with women throwing panties on him...
Touché
Was hoping you’d get into the story about hanging w Bon Jovi’s dad. Jon was beautiful back in the day. Had such a crush on him.
When my boyfriend and I were talking about sex, it turns out we both assumed the other person had a higher body count. We never asked eachother for the number explicitly, but we assumed it was higher. It turns out, we have the exact same bodycount. It was never a problem, and 3 years later, still not a problem.
THISSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! OMG ALLLLL of this. As a musician, I have always been attracted to other musicians. But male musicians have it hardwired somehow that they get to bypass all the normal rules of engagement.
Your text chime at the end had me going nuts trying to figure out who was texting m
same lol
If I was a guy I would def pay attention to body account. Knowing how a woman chose to carry her and her body and how much self respect she had would hold meaning to me especially if I plan on spending my life with her. In the same breath I would expect the man to have done the same in his own life.
you can lie about it 😂
we were all young, made mistakes, and had no self respect
@@imshooketh1500 forreal. who hasn’t had a messy hookup or two 😂 it’s part of being young and dumb. people grow up and mature 🤷♀️ i believe in judging someone for who they are in the present, not holding their past against them forever.
@@coolchameleon21 exactly, half my body count was guys I didnt like to spite a fuckboy I loved when I was 23
@@imshooketh1500 same. most of them were just random hookups in college. literally everyone i know has had college hookups. it’s just what you do when you’re young and learning about yourself and your sexuality. it’s just sex it’s not that big of a deal 🤷♀️ it’s fun
They are not worth an answer because a lot of women have maybe 1 or 2 experiences and the men will laugh about it and claim they're lying.
Yep! That's a question I will not answer. Very glad you are passing on the wisdom to future generations.
I have never been interested in anyone's body count. And being single in my 30s, I have stopped counting a long time ago 😅.
The pretend table flip part cracked me up more than it should have
The right answer is to be honest. Someone’s sexual history is relevant. If a person is promiscuous they may not be the best choice for a relationships.
Thank youuuuuu......I'm in my late 30s and I can't believe the term 'body count' is popular now - how trashy! Not normal! Not ok!
I don’t so much care about numbers as much as behavior and values. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who had slept with a lot of people who I’m gonna have to deal with consistently and I can offer the same. Not only because I don’t want to be judged. Also out of respect to both my future partner and MYSELF! Relationships are hard enough without added drama and insecurities. I made it point to do most of my hoing around on vacation or with people vacationing in my city.
My response is “None! none of your business, that is”. Lol little did they know its also actually none.
Oh that’s brilliant 😂 messes with their mind!
A grown man doesn’t care my bf never asked cuz he loves me .
lol your sucker boyfriend. You still thinking bout all the pipe you got in college
Absolutely flawless video Shallon and stated so well…you give the best advice and way to deliver it ❤
Love you SHALLYYY gunna binge the last two videos xo
I learned the hard way not to answer the body count question. It's a bogus fucking question
What if it isn’t about him worrying about performance, but trying to see how much you value yourself? Anyone, male or female, who has a high body count does not value themselves or their body. There’s no point shaming men for what’s hard wired in their DNA. You don’t allow men to try and change your DNA makeup (wanting tall muscular men) but always try and shame men out of their preference
I'm not sure it's about valuing yourself or not, but it definitely reflects on your tendency towards monogamy. It might be better to just ask about past relationships because it's less crass
@@uhhhhh4748 nah wouldn’t work because ppl have one night stands. So even if you only dated 2 people, u cud sleep with way wayyy more. It’s not crass to ask anything in a relationship -that’s the closest person to you? How many people u sleep with says a lot about your mental health, self image, class and self respect. People can deny it all they want and lie to themselves to help themselves sleep better at night. But we all know the truth. In fact when women are fighting the first thing they do is call each other sluts 🤣
Hard wired in their DNA? Like it’s hard wired in women’s DNA to want to have sex when they are ovulating?
I completely agree. As a woman, I wouldn’t date a man with a high body count. It’s a dealbreaker for me because it indicates that the way we view sex is fundamentally incompatible. I only take issue with men who sleep around and then expect to get a woman with a low body count. Treating sex as a sacred act should go both ways.
@@CHK12319 Yep, I want someone like me, not someone who's a virgin, didn't have a serious relationship or is very promiscuous. All these are totally fine, but that doesn't mean I have to date them.
My husband was and still is super turned out by my body count (30). He ain't no beta.
It is not wrong for a man or a woman to not desire to date someone with a crazy past you have to realize we live on a planet with other people so sometimes we do shit that people don’t find attractive and this is not me saying if you have a high body count that you don’t deserve love but depending on how high that number is which could be 1020 30,4050 maybe 100 people will judge you that’s just how life works
My girl Shallon if I could like this video more than once you bet I would ❤ thank you for this!
What sickens me is how he and his wife were always made out to be one of the goals couples of the music industry. I believe she was his highschool sweetheart. Right so all that glitters isn't always gold, ay Jon?
I remember one time my ex asked me mine. and I remember never asking him. And then he brought it up once and asked me why I never asked. I told him I simply didn't care since it wasn't relevant to our relationship. LOL the immaturity of men- they care about the most dumbest things we do.
Shallon I found a few clips of your show Dowtown Girls! A few years ago I couldn’t find anything but now there are a few clips and photos 😅
You may not ask a guy for his credit card number but you would want to know how he uses it. If he is spending the money on strippers, OF and gambling, this says a lot about his life style, values and how much is values HIS own money. Shaming men for wanting to know this info seems disingenuos.
If a man in the past has spent money on strippers, so what? If you in the past were a slut, so what? Did everyone learn from this and pick a different course? Ok then definitely dont use it against them in the present.
This question from men is DESIGNED to shame, so me "shaming them" for asking is fighting fire with fire. Its beating them at their own game. You try to make ME feel small for a past that has zero bearing on your life, guess what my guy, that's going to get flipped real quick.
the lack of basic logic in this comment is just.....🤦♀️
@@shallonlester If someone has changed the course, then this is a different situation and both men and women can choose to deal with it, to accept it or reject it. I am not sure if I ever would want to be with someone who at some point bought women for sex, even if it is in the past. And I am also not sure if I want someone with an empty bank card. Let us not pretend that sex has no meaning and how many people we allow to access it. The body count is only a problem because only women are shamed for it. Men who have a high body count have problems with boundaries and are not desirable neither if they are still living this lifestyle. And a woman has the right to reject it as wel.
@@julie-mt2xr Basic logic according to who? Sluts?
Those with a high BC can't have a true commitment
What are you basing that on? That like saying a chef can't enjoy food someone else cooks. If anything, dating is data. You have a better sense of what works and what doesn't.
@@shallonlester lol no, i don't mean rs i was talking about hook ups which is more common nowadays that's what i meant that having a high BC on those ways is of a lack of self steem but it's just my opinion
Thats crazy lol. Ive been in super long relationships (all lasting 2+years, the last was 7) since i was 13, but in between relationships i get it in🤷♀️ if i like you then im loyal af, if im single and having fun then thats what im gonna do. If anything, real commitment is choosing someone after having lots of experience elsewhere.
A good response to a man asking for your body count is “I wouldn’t worry about a number you will have no impact on.”
If a man is good looking, rich, successful, is going to cheat, this is the top of the chain , is not right or fair but is what happens, and a curious things that happens is that most woman get bored with men who do things right that aren't a part of the "top of the chain" and cheat over boredom.
I had never been asked that question ever. If I ever get asked in the future whats my body count (which is incredibly rude and disrespectful) I am will be bouncing back with how much money do you have saved in your bank account and how much do you earn annually. Clearly, who ever is asking you that early, only wants that information to judge you. And its irrelevant, Megan Fox gets judged all the time and her body count is like 2 people.
Do a video on your opinions on onlyfans please!!
Wow, I am so grateful my husband has never asked me this question. He is older than me & I remember asking him a few times & he would never give me a straight answer. I genuinely don’t think he knows off the top of his head, lol. I was annoyed at the time, but I totally agree with you, it shouldn’t matter.
A high body count indicates a likelihood of having stds
In my experience, people who are more experienced actually use protection and get tested regularly.
@@julie-mt2xr HPV is so common is unlikely they would avoid it if they are promiscuous. Condoms reduce transmission by not even 50% and there is no reliable testing for men for it.
Yea they are also tend to be dirty and have bad hygiene
@mysticc6232 that's a damn lie. and how would you know?😂
I just think the term “body count” is inherently negative, and not even a good judge of your sexual experience. It’s super easy to sleep with 5 different ppl in a short period of time, and wrack up 5, but you’ve only had sex like 5 times total, where when in a relationship you can have sex hundreds of times and really gain experience and knowledge of the person you’re with. So for me, it’s more like if your views on hookups align much more than number of ppl you’ve slept with. And frankly, it’s a red flag to even ask! If it’s important, you’d have brought it up already yourself. Like unless you volunteered that information first and then expected them to do the same, I can’t see why anyone would feel entitled to an answer. Even then, it’s just icky.
9:36 Guys can be jerks about waiting til marriage too Shal
Guys are jerks about everything when it comes to women and sex! She’s saying do whatever works for you because ultimately they will judge either way
I feel like bits of this video need to be broadcasted in Times Square, minimum.
Y'all killed people???😳
Exactly!! That's it exactly what I think everytime someone says "body count"
😂😂😂
😂🤣😄
19:45
Normal to have a few people (long term partners) but not the whole town using you as a bicycle.
OK, look I don’t expect a woman to have like a really low body count so I would totally be comfortable with like 20 or maybe 25 maybe 30 but if we’re talking like 40 5060 then I don’t think I can get past that also while there isn’t no perfect body count there’s definitely a difference between 1020 and 100 😂😂😂 come on let’s not act stupid