You can make whatever rules you want for the people that live in your house. They can choose to follow them or suffer the consequences that you decide exist for those who break the rules that live in your house.
I have a rule for my kids. When you’re 18, it’s college or military, but you ain’t hanging around here. Peace out, I’m ready to lounge in my underwear...
The girl wants to have all the rights and privileges of adulthood without taking on any of the responsibilities. You're either an adult or you aren't. Cut her off.
@@RestaurantManager101 thats incredible but that can't pay for a broken relationship. I don't blame you though. they didn't want to work with you when you were trying to figure things out, they shouldn't be there when you figured them out
The legal system is crazy! You can try not give them finances and payments, but they can simply go to the courts and file for maintenance costs against you. I have a situation at the moment where my 21 year old daughter is suing me for her living expensive, college fees, car, cell phone, food and medical expenses. The costs claim, is almost my full salary. The legal system says I must pay maintenance until she is self supporting, regardless of age
@ J D - You have got to be kidding. What crackpot state lets a 21 year old kid sue their parent? At 21? Because their not self supporting. You’re in California, right? Only place I can imagine.
I knew immediately she had a boyfriend. Same thing happened with me, and I was given an ultimatum. So at 19 I moved out. Fortunately, my situation turned out well and I grew a lot from it. Kick her out. I intend on not tolerating "I'm an adult, but still pay my bills for me" the same way my parents didn't tolerate that from me.
Sir We Are About to Die IMHO I think it's because American society is desperately trying to undercut the innate desires of women to have their own families.
@Sir We Are About to Die which is why men in the comment section have said that they went through the same situation when they were younger. You don't like women, which is fine but at least use your critical thinking skills before making stupid comments.
My goodness, it sounds like the situation with my 19 yr old daughter. I had to ask her to leave, because she didn't want to follow the rules. It is very hard as a mother to make the decision, but it had to be done.
Wow! This is the definition of a failed parent. If after 19 years of raising somebody teaching them from right and wrong in the values of life you have to ask them to leave is pretty telling 😂
@@s246088She’s teaching them her boundaries, which the child already knew. And now mom is enforcing those boundaries. They’re pointless without follow through.
Daughter says she’s old enough to make her own decisions then if she doesn’t follow her parents rules then they need to STOP paying for all the expenses she just listed. Period end of discussion.
I’m glad Dave finally addressed the RUclips comments about him needing to only talk about money. Dave Ramsey can talk about whatever he wants in the Dave Ramsey show.
Yeah do what you want in your own place but not under my roof. My kids know better. My 29 year old has her own place she can do what she wants when she wants. When she lived with me she knew better. My 21 year old is focused on nursing school thank goodness. I’m grateful they have good heads on their shoulders.
@@marciabinninger2840 I don't understand if you go to work and you pay for what is yours Take care of yourself you can do what you please by going on a trip.
Hey guys I am 16 years old, Can you guys tell me if this is a good idea. What if I borrow a loan of 1 million dollars from the bank. 4% interest rate for 30 year. So i will be paying around $5000 every month back. I use that 1 million dollar and buy 10 houses for $100,000. I rent it out for $1000 a month. So every month i will get $10,000-$5000= $5000. So my profit will be $5000 every month passively without doing anything. Is this a good idea?
Sleeping with her boyfriend at 19 is not "stupidity"; that is her choice. However, the parents do need to decide if this is such a big deal as to actually kick their own adult daughter out of the house.
It doesn’t really matter what she is doing that they disagree with. The fact that she said, “i’m an adult now, and can do what i want” is the reason she has got to go. She is gunna be an adult and make adult decisions? Good, then go out into the world and be an adult.
@@raleigh2747 You're going to kick her out because she has a boyfriend? How will that impact the relationship with your daughter? What if they end up getting married, and don't invite you to the wedding? Is it worth the years of resentment?
@@raleigh2747 It's what Dave said. He and the other guy are encouraging the idea of kicking her out if she insists on going to spend a night with her boyfriend of 9 months. I completely agree with the principle here; if the daughter wants to do her own thing (against her parents' wishes) then she should expect to take on the responsibilities that come with being adult. However, I think it's ridiculous that something so trivial would be the tipping point for the parents.
Being 22 and still under my parents roof. I still follow rules because that's what I expect my children to do. I hang out with my friends and have fun. I pay my bills such as car insurance, school, phone bill and invest all my savings. No boyfriend yet and don't plan on it any time soon. All my friends got kick out of the house because of this situation now they are living on paycheck to paycheck just because they didn't want to follow their parents rules also a lot of relationship problems. STAY WITH YOUR PARENTS. SAVE MONEY, INVEST AND WATCH AND LEARN FROM YOUR FRIENDS WHO SAYS THE " IM AN ADULT AND I'll DO WHAT I WANT" Learn from their mistakes. Parents do what's best for their kids.
When my son was 18 he said he didnt have to go by our rules and I told him to get out which he did. It was tough but 20 years later he is the best son. You gotta nib it in the bud early.
I lived at home with my parents as an adult for a few years and l clearly remember my Mom telling me “If you want to live under our roof you have to follow our rules”. My Mom passed away earlier this year from pancreatic cancer. Thank you Mom, for setting those boundaries with me.
My mom kicked my 31 yr old brother out for drinking and he was in detox and will be in rehab like next Monday. But if he declines that offer he has to do 5 yrs in Prison. Sometimes you can't help ppl who don't wanna be helped
Best wishes for you and your family. Sounds like a very tough situation. You are 100% right that you can’t force a person to be helped if they don’t want it, though it can be painful to watch.
I love this. I wasn't perfect. I was not one for authority when I was young at 15. I was making bad decisions. However, my parents told me if I didn't want to follow the rules under their roof then I could leave. Well, I grew up quick after leaving. I came back 2 different times at 17 and also at 21. Each time for about 3 months each time. I'm 40 now. I LOVE my parents for it. I'm good now. Love you, Mom & Dad!!
@IvyOracle more like the current system is messed up. Student loans have made collage stupid expensive and expected. Medical, while better, has increased in price to crazy levels.
@Onion Head School would not be crazy expensive if it was not for those loans. I saw it starting up in the 90s. Now it's just silly. But with all of the online schooling we are going to see a reset.
Dave is wrong here. Shes going on vacation. Her mom gave no evidence she was doing drugs or messing up in life in a significant way. Why should the parents care if their kid goes on vacation so long as they are safe. Where is the harm?
Strong Parents raise Strong Children who Evolve into Strong Adults.. Weak Parents raise Weak Children who turn out hating the world and all of it's surroundings..
Most of the time, but not always. My mom and dad had four kids, some of us listened and live good lives, some of us didn’t, and are miserable. At the end of the day, we all choose our own path.
I’ve always said I’m not just raising kids. I’m raising my children to become adults. I may be tough, but they listen and one day will see I made my decisions based off of what was best for them at the time and in the long run.
Read up on nature vs nurture in developmental psychology, these things are fiercely debated but current science consensus is very interesting. I'm humbly certain that your theory is not spot on.
You do have to be careful when kicking someone out of the house over a boy. They will only be pushed more into the bad situation. It's a good way to leave young people in a position where they are vulnerable to abuse.
@@alienwarex51i3 probably single motherhood and working a low wage job to make ends meet. Heartache from the boyfriend having left her because the bond of marriage and responsibility is not holding him accountable. And of course, another broken child from a broken home. There are many assumptions here, but that is a very likely scenario as it happens to a high percentage of couples that simply shack up.
As an adult, she made the decision. You’re not going to make the rules in someone else’s house and still think you can do what you want to do. She wants to leave over a boy, let her leave.
When I was 19 I knew every answer to all world problems. I was so impressed with my wisdom. I think it comes with the age. I grew, had some life experiences and learned I was the microcosm in the macrocosm. I smile now when I listen to young people.
Yes! I was a super head strong young adult and pushed my parents boundaries. My parents held me accountable and today I am a responsible, functioning, educated adult.
Aubrey is a self important KAREN who screwed up her entitled princess by coddling her like a baby and now complains her PRIVILEGED girl is an unmotivated lazy arrogant PARASITE,the one SHE created. This call is unnecessary,if AUBREY really does HER job she would do the right thing and be a PARENT!!!
I kind of have the same problem but in reverse. I’m 18 and am wanting to work with my dad at his company (contracting plumbing company), my mother doesn’t want me to really leave and start a career until I’m in my 20s and I think it’s a bad idea to wait so long, it’s 4 years of trade school and apprenticeship with the possibility of good pay at worst and a chance to grow a thriving business at best. My parents have been separated for 9 years but are on decent terms she’s just worried I’ll make the same mistake she did and grow up faster then i have to. I also don’t feel comfortable completely disregarding her rules and losing my mom in the process but she pretty much shut me down every time I try to discuss it
I was in a similar situation and left because my dad was too controlling, but I had the sense to leave and go to the military. I'll never understand why people think you can do what you want in your parent's house. If you don't like it leave, but don't expect them to keep paying for you at the same time. "I'm grown and I don't have to follow your rules, but don't remove me from your insurance and cell phone plan because I make little kid money." Get outta here with that mess.
And also make the mistake to think that they can do whatever they want to do and dont gave to listen to anyone or rules. Like you said you went to the military, just like I did, thinking I'm gonna go because I'm tired of my parents telling me this and that but guess what the army did too but worse! So no matter who you are whatever you go and whatever you do you have to listen to someone or else. Whether parents or the military or a job or the police or the government so I dont get the prideful attitude that we think we can DO WHATEVER WE WANT just because we now past 18 years old. Lol.
Yup, lol. I never said that to my parents as long as they were paying my bills. I also was never gonna go to a hotel with my boyfriend while on their money knowing what their answer would be.
Yep I learned quick myself when I moved out at like 17, I didn’t have a phone or car when I left and luckily a buddy took me in but you can only couch bounce for so ling
@@pyewacketpeggy8329 The military is the way it is because it needs to be. The hypocrisy of parents pushing a moral code on their kids that a lot of time they did not follow is a lot harder to take.
Dave, I’m 19, I have listened to you for a long time, and I appreciate both the financial and the life advice. I hope you know that you have fans who appreciate your biblical advice!
I don't understand 90% of the premise of this answer. Like, I get that a kid who isn't self-sufficient can't pull the "I'm an adult; I'll do what I want" card, but the rest of this makes no sense to me. Why is it "stupid" to go on a trip out of state with a boyfriend? Why do you think the daughter will thank mom? When I was the daughter's age, I went on a long international trip with my then-girlfriend (our parents did not object). We'd been dating about the same amount of time. We got to experience several different cultures and visit iconic cultural sites. We grew extremely close and while we were too young to commit to each other for life back then, I strongly suspected we would. We got married in our 20s and had kids in our 30s and once Corona is gone, we'll go back to dragging our kids around the world with us. It breaks my heart to imagine what might have happened had our parents interfered.
@@drunkrussianisgood Couldn't tell you what the answer is here. Neither can any of the other seemingly braindead commenters, apparently. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a one-day trip with a boyfriend/girlfriend as an adult. To kick out your child because of such a little thing is terrible.
Everyone got different values so it’s not necessarily about the example but more about the parents turning on what they believe and letting their kid walk all over them cuz “they’re adults”. Instead, if the kid wants to do something outside of their values and don’t have respect for their parents opinions they got be independent. They can’t get it both ways lol
It is wrong because they made a choice of a code of morality that you may not agree but they have a right to it. I happen to agree with this code because as a teenager I saw to many friends have their future derailed by teen pregnancy.
I love the Anthony and Dave dynamic. They speak the truth. I’ve paid for all my bills since I got my first job at 16. The only expense I never had to pay for was the power/water bill and food at home. It was hard at first, but you learn quick that your only option is to WORK and SAVE.
Wish I could have gotten a job at 16. I had spine surgery knocked me out for a year. Honestly when I first got a job I wanted to spend because I wanted a computer. So I bought one then pretty much saved. I have 9.4K
why are parents so weak? I had a conversation with my kids a month before their 18th birthdays. I told them the first time they tell me they are an adult, will be the day I let them be an adult. That means, no more money from me ever. To stay in my house they will get a free college education and hopefully a degree with no student loan debt. To tell me they are an adult will mean, they can pay all their own bills as adults should. The rules for my house were, no smoking, no drugs, no shacking up, no tattoos, they could ask for a friend to spend the night, that person would stay in the guest room on another floor of the house. One of my kids told me to kiss off, the other graduated from college in 4 years and went to work and started a stress free life because he has NO student debt. The other child who was smarter than everybody, struggled for many years because she wanted to shack up with a loser.
@Sir We Are About to Die I hate that you are correct. We have an adulterous president. kids in cages, and parents who think it is OK for their kids to shack up. I am not religious because that is corrupt but I feel marriage is about commitment and true respect. I am the only person in my group of friends who has told their kids you better not shack up. My friends think it is a good idea to try it out first. Yuk is an understatement.
@Sir We Are About to Die I hope your version of discipline does not include assault and battery. America is about choices and no fear. I gave my kids choices. One choose college with my rules and the other did not. We know who is having a better life. I told them many times, bad choices will equal a sad life.
@@aquaticasmr184 what happened to you? You decided not to be sensible and follow sane rules to build a stable future? How are your bad decisions anybody else's fault. Sorry you are suffering but stupid is not an accident, it is a choice. I hope it is not too late for you to make a sensible life for yourself.
One of the best things I heard regarding a similar issue with something that dr. Laura said; which was "you cannot be a dependent child and an independent adult while living under my roof." If you want adult Independence then you have to go out and be an adult.
Totally went through this with our 18.5 year old. Kid actually told people kicked her out because we said "you can live here as long as you want, but there are certain things you can't do in our home." Very painful to deal with.
Well if you actually listened to the podcast or the actual radio you'll know that he literally says in the intro: a show about your life and your money.
She probably should get into the dorms or something so she can have a little more freedom. My bf (now husband) took me on bday trips and nothing happened at the hotel since I was saving myself. Lots of 19 years old get this freedom without being kicked out or abandoned financially. It is what it is though. This is more of a personal problem than a financial one though.
Let's face facts, your story is 1 out of 10 million. You put two teens in a hotel room and you really believe nothing will happen? You're either a troll or extremely ignorant, don't reproduce please.
@@Thelegendl23 theres nothing they could do at the hotel that they cant already do in their home town/city. She could lie and say shes going to her friends for the day and see the boyfriend. They have cars etc.
@@smn5672 no, wrong. And if you have that thinking I pray you do not have a daughter, or you will end up a grandparent. Enjoy your bad parenting skills.
I'm sooooooo happy that your parents are doing well and can see the fruits of their labor, Anthony!!!!! Same with mine. There's nothing quite like it. Thanks, gentlemen!!!!!🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️
Nah I moved out at 18 while I was In high school I never moved back. I’m a nurse now and I’m glad I never came back me and my parents don’t have the best relationship.
@@saptab1344 I understand that but regret is the worst thing to live with in life so if its worth fixing and she dont mind being the bigger person why not.
Why is this so lopsided and extreme? Adult children should be paying the majority of their expenses and the parents should be there as support, guidance, and things like shelter and health insurance as applicable. But also to have an adult relationship with your adult children, you cannot patrol your children’s relationships. If you want to say a partner isn’t allowed at the house over night then your house your rules, but your adult child’s decisions outside your property is not your business.
It's lopsided because parents don't want to see their children grow up to be different than them, that's why. You'd think after 19 years these parents would realize they'd be having the birds and bees talk and proper usage of protection, and to encourage healthy relationships and freedom..
@@Chris-sc5jg Not sure what that has to do with treating your adult child as an adult and not wanting to kick them out over a three day weekend. If you can’t trust your 19 year old kid to go on a vacation, or won’t let them, then you’ve probably failed as a parent, at least on some level.
She can take a vacation but not pay for her car, food, cell phone, rent etc. See how that works? That mom was afraid to let go which is why they didn't want her dating. The daughter is an adult though and its time for her to go. The daughter got that part right. She's an adult so she needs to leave and live her life in her own house and pay her own expenses. It's not mean, its a natural thing.
The daughter is in school/college, she says it in the beginning. Her parents are paying many of her bills because they want her to stay focused and succeed in college. She's probably a freshman/softmore. If the daughter has decided she's an adult and shouldn't need to respect her parents rules. Then by being an "adult" she no longer needs to be dependent on her parents. She can figure out how to pay for college and her bills on her own. If she was just working and paying her parents rent or something, then sure she could argue that she's an independent adult. But she's expecting to do what she wants and have her parents foot the bill regardless.
You can't have it both ways. "I'm an adult, so I can do what I want!" If that's the case, then you need to either get your own place or start paying rent. And guess what? Even adult tenants still have rules and stipulations they must follow to live in a piece of property that doesn't belong to them. Just as it wouldn't be fair for them to demand rent or have her move out and buy her own place but then still treat her as a minor child, it's unfair for her to expect to be taken care of financially and otherwise like a child, but then want to pull out the "adult" card so she doesn't have to follow rules.
@@MicheleNichols2 Yes because it really sucks if you can't control a kid who takes on adult responsibilities. Some parents just want to put their heads into the sand.
Actually, I did charge rent AND they still had to follow the rules. My children paid ALL of their car expenses and phone expenses. They were given one year after graduation to live rent free unless they were in college full time. If not in school full time they were charged rent. That rent went up each year. I wanted to encourage them to act like adults and move out. I did have to kick one out because he was drinking and driving and there is no drinking at my house.
Sandy Seibel Hager Great Job! I am 22 living in NYC with my mom and brother. We moved here 3yrs ago so obviously we don’t have a home of our own so we rent. The rent and utilities are split evenly between us three.. ideally. Unfortunately my brother has a drinking problem and financial problems where he can’t seem to keep money in his pocket. Well for this to happen for the 3rd time where he is jobless with no money, I said to my mother I will not be going half on his portion of the bills. It is not fair for him to take from my future, nor her future. So since it’s been like this since June, I sat on my word for the most part. I ended up paying the entire electricity bill and giving my mom some money to help out. I am an undergrad Bio major and plan to go to PA school. Which is not cheap! My emergency fund money can’t go down the drain for his irresponsibility and failure to be a man.
When I started dating, the rule was the boy had to meet one of my parents. They were terrified of my 6’6 but it helped keep stupid away. Thank you, Dad for creating a moral foundation.
Going from "child/teen" to "responsible young adult" can be a hard transition... parents obviously love her and want to help her, but she is becoming an adult now and will be making adult personal decisions. One piece of advice from my own experiences is to not try to use money as complete control (even out of love). Sit down with her and tell her you're having a tough time with her becoming an adult but since she is then it's time to figure out a new plan. That may involve her moving out or just taking over all of her finances (cell phone, car expenses, personal spending money, all eating out/entertainment money, books, etc). I'm guessing all her job money is going towards fun and clothes and some gas right now... it also gives her money and time to spend with the boyfriend that she wouldn't have in the real world.
Wait, did I miss something? All I heard is that she wants to go to another state with her boyfriend. They have to sleep somewhere. In the scheme of things, it’s not the end of the world. It’s not like they are Bonnie and Clyde committing robberies or she announced she’s pregnant, going to drop out of college and elope with him. Maybe I’m a bit more liberal than Dave.
I thought I missed something too. At 19 I was still living at home and I was always going on vacation out of state with my girlfriend at the time. I don't see what the problem is at all. Granted I paid for everything I did and had, but not letting her daughter take a trip becausssssse???? Maybe it's because im 24 and still considered young, but I see a helicopter parent that's trying to jump into the discipline game a bit too late.
Justis Cady haha...exactly. I also hear an undertone of sexism. I would feel differently if she was 16 or 17, but she’s 19. The horse already left the barn. Hopefully they’ve already discussed the birds and the bees with her.
Dave and the people in the comment sections are acting like she's dropping out of school and addicted to drugs and getting high all day or something. That's really extreme kicking her out just because they're going on a trip with her boyfriend. Sounds like she has her life together, has a job while probably keeping her grades up. It's great to be able to live at home while going to school and save money on dorms and food.
@@HazmatFatCat Boys are often treated differently compared to girls with things like this. I bet if the daughter in the video was a boy taking his girlfriend out on a trip neither the parents or the people in the comment section would have cared much. But because she's a girl she's a "out of control brat".
peekinghills Exactly! Sounds like she’s a young woman in love. Odds are that they’ll break up at some point, but this isn’t some extreme scenario that requires Dave’s intervention.
I mean she's 19... What do you think she does when she's at college? At this age they should trust her because this will just ruin their relationship. Kicking her out sounds pretty ridiculous but I guess it's because they're Christian.
I think that it's very controlling to try to help someone financially only to stop that help for non-financial reasons. I assume that she's doing well in school and is not breaking this rule under their house, so I don't see the problem here. She is indeed a young adult but still an adult nonetheless.
@@vzjrz my cousin is literally leasing a house with his friends hours away. I know that they're all nerds and will just have gaming nights, but he still has a girlfriend.
If it were a guy, they should do the same thing. A boy has unwanted consequences as well. They should look out for their son's long term best interest. And his character
Shes 19. The real question is do you trust her? If so it shouldnt have been a problem. Yes there should be rules but sit her down & have a talk. Why should a 19yr old be forced out? Back in the day parents wanted their children regardless of age to be at home until marriage. In todays world its basically impossible for any 19 yr old to live on their own. Its so expensive in many states. My perspective is that of being on my own by 15.
@NurturingTalents lol that's actually false, it just happened less openly. Also note teen pregnancy and related issues are actually *down* compared to the past.
@@kindnessandgracestaysmilin5990 no it had to do with it because the mother was trying to condone her behavior because of her age, grow up and realize the facts. The person could be from 16 to 40 and it still be the sammmeeeee scenario. Please hop off my post ;)
@Thelegendl23 gorl hUh? Obvi I agreed with what you said, my point was she can’t kick out her kid if they’re under the legal age. Also I think 16 is way too young, considering they’re still in school, and I think anywhere older than like 20 is way too old. And FoRtY....that’s just insane. Plus you have to be careful with just kicking out your kids. Like I would make sure they have a steady job and some sort of plan, they’re still your kids just cause they are older. So that’s my opinionnnnnn (;
@@kindnessandgracestaysmilin5990 a 16 year old can be kicked out of the house... what you believe and what can happen factually are very different things. I'm sorry I misunderstood what you said as disagreeing, fact is the child could be any age above 16 and the facts remain. Anyone left saying "you're stuck with me until I'm 18" is just plain confused. My rules or you join the military at 16 and enlist at 18. Enjoy.
@Sir We Are About to Die That's not what helicopter parents are. Helicopter parents are parents that control their kids every move under the guise of "safety".
My son moved backed home and he started coming and going as he saw fit so I told him "time to move out" he did. And my son graduated suma came late and is married. Being a parent is hard but it is our job .
Good job, my mom did something similar with me and I'm in a far better financial situation than her now. And I'm happily married. I plan on doing the same to my kids if they try it. Time to fly, baby bird.
@@thisisnotok2100 Him moving out and staying out is not related to you pushing him out. He was already capable since he obviously was not reliant on you in any way at the point that you kicked him out.
And when he had moved out he likely continued to come and go - _so what was your point- other than that you wanted to control his daily life and that could not get along with a fairly mature young adult. Or you did not think it worth your while to have him around a little bit (while he was clearly busy and fascinated with his life as young adult). You and your partner must have done something right in the past because he had it already in him to succeed (or you and he were lucky). But the act of kicking him for no urgent reason * did not make him capable of succeeding. * I assume he did not wake you up during night when he came home and was not a nuisance or impolite, and contributed in some form (money, chores, babysitting pets or the house if you were absent, ...). On the contrary: He was confident enough to not give in to your opposition of him behaving like an independent adult (coming and going as he saw fit). A parent might like more company than a young adult is offeirng, but as long as they pull their weight finanically and regaring chores, the son doing the aloof roommate gig is better than him living in another place (you did not see him more than, did you ?). At least if you like your kids to be around sometimes. If he had been weaker he would have been "obedient" instead of sticking to his own schedule (and his own life, I am sure he had a lot going on, incl. likely going out. As is natural for a young man). If he had tried to placate you and "played by your rules" it would have been for fear of financial problems and for not being sure if he can make it on his own. If you want him to stay: Why give an ultimatum that only a weak child would accept. If you want him to leave anyway - then it does not matter if he is home all the time or gone all the time. Since he was capable at the point to do his thing, giving him SOME help (he saves in rent) did not "spoil" him. Unless you start accepting unacceptable actions - drug use, criminality, fighting, yelling, cussing - and he has to pay something (if he can) he is not going to be morally ruined because he gets some financial help.
As was your parents right. Others may choose differently. I personally agree because I don’t support abortion and believe that unplanned pregnancy happens. I saw too many friends derail their future because they choose short term pleasure. To be clear I support the right to choose but I don’t believe abortion is the moral choice. Still I respect each individual’s right to live their life based on their own moral compass.
I agree with Dave, parents need to set standards in the home. I don't see that happening with entitled brats! This mother needs to kick the adult "child" out to learn discipline and responsibility.
more like parents bring kids in this world without asking them and then expects kids to behave their way and when kids refuse they blame kids as if kids asked them to bring them in this world
I dont agree with kicking kids out at 18-19, fresh out of high school. However, that is if they are indeed following your rules. I do agree if they want to act adult, and disrespect you, kick them out.
I was 19 Dad said as long as you live in my house..you obey my rules. I didn't agree with the rules and moved out on my own. That was 44 years ago. Worked out real well. Debt -free lifestyle. Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional.
Look you do you but I guess I don’t really see the issue with a 19-year old staying in a hotel with a boyfriend in a committed relationship of 9 months. Dave said she was “sleeping around” which is not what it sounds like. I understand having an issue with her being defiant but I don’t get why the parents have an issue with the idea in the first place
Just bc it may be happening and all over our culture doesn't make it right, admirable or something the parents should condone. It has poor consequences financially, emotionally, spiritually and relationally. Go get the book Why Wait.
Yeah, wasn't exactly pleased to be shuffled out before I'd gotten my loan debts taken care of, but I'm actually grateful to them. It wasn't so much a 'My house, My rules' so much as a "Fly free, Little Birdie!"
Ok both ridiculous. She's already sleeping with him. Parents that are this delusional just astound me. Also, let kids make their own decisions, be clear with them on how to stay safe and not get pregnant. She's in college it seems.. C'mon. You're gonna break the relationship with your child over this? Please 🙄
@@danielvasquez3758 How much do you want to bet she let her daughter walk to school or go out with friends? Plus she's been dating the guy for almost a year...
Heres my perspective as a 24 year old. Shes a fully grown 19 year old adult. If youre going to financially support your child, who is a grown adult, you should not use that support as a weapon to control them. That is extremely toxic and narcissistic behavior that will make your child resent you. Your job as a parent is to guide your kids into becoming a good person, not to force them into being one. Its sad that all of these boomers still have this toxic and controlling mindset.
As you say, she's an adult, but she's anything but "fully" grown. The brain doesn't fully develop the ability to reason, rationally, until the mid 20's. They wouldn't be forcing anything - it's the daughter's choice - but a 19yo doesn't have the awareness or maturity to make that choice. What do you suggest as a solution?
As someone the same age I agree 100%. I have similar parents who took the control route and used my brother and I’s financial dependence as a weapon. I took it as motivation to finish school early and get out. However, my brother was never able to get on track until recently and will now be living under their roof through his early 30’s. It’s possible to let kids learn from their own mistakes while not having to cut them off financially.
I'm only 2 minutes in but it seems pretty obvious... she is an adult, she can go and do whatever she wants, but if she has money to go out of state and stay in a hotel, then she has money to pay her own bills. Why do the parents find this complicated.
The daughter is doomed. Her mother will always be her enabler just like most (Not all) mothers are. The fact that she's calling into a talk show instead of handling business tells me she's weak.
When did all this “I pay my adult offsprings bills for them” start?? Sure didn’t happen to me. I didn’t get to start driving till I had a job that I could pay my insurance and gas with. And as a 16 year old, that’s all I could pay for. Haha
Yes! I know people who still pay for their kids phones, car insurance etc. even though they have well paying jobs (they are in their late 20's 30's). When I say that, I mean 70-80K or more! I don't get it! Some of them still have their kids (under 26) on their medical so that the kids don't have to pay their own even though their own companies offer it. My parents let me live at the house rent free while I went to the local State University and for that I am grateful. As soon as I graduated, I started paying rent (I worked all through school so I did have money). I don't believe they are helping their kids by not allowing them to assume responsibility for themselves.
Same here! I couldn't sit for my driver's license exam until I could pay for the increase in my parents' insurance. I had to purchase my own car and insurance. I wanted a car, so I had a job. I only had time to study and drive to work and back. It was an elegant system. I will say that this scenario in the video would have resulted in my moving out of my parents' house. HOWEVER, I moved out when I started college and never came back; there just wasn't any kind of disagreement. My parents started me off with $500 on my first tuition bill, and they were kind enough to help me with rent one month during my senior year. I never expected them to cover any of my living expenses, and I always had a plan on how I would do so. I know my parents would have preferred me to move back home for summers, but I was an independent young person, and those skills have served me well throughout my life. They prepared me well, and then they trusted me to make my own life decisions.
@@jasperj.d.g.4147 exactly. You don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Her parents don’t agree with this choice and don’t plan to subsidize it. If she wants total control of her life then she must sacrifice the financial assistance. There is nothing free in this life. True adults pay ALL their bills.
I already told my little kids. This is daddy and mommy's house. It's important to stress to kids that when they are 18, they are adult WHEN they move out of the house and support themselves financially. The law expects kids to be adults at 18 after high school.
@Sir We Are About to Die The age is 18 both for the draft and for voting purposes. Not like that matters much anyways, seeing as 18-22 years old are one of the demographics that vote the least.
The real question is... Would you rather see your rebellious child come home every night alive than not knowing where they are and what condition they are in right now?
The Mom on this call seems like she is the one having "attachment" issues. Got to know when to let go, Mom, and let your daughter fly. If you taught her well and trained her up in the way she should go, when she is old she will not depart. (i.e. as the Holy Scriptures say). She'll learn the lessons and will thank Mom and Dad later. And Dad needs to step to that young man just like Dave and Anthony said.
Let me tell you parents of this generation are a bunch of wimps. My Latina mom did not play that and trust me I tried! 🤣🤣 I am the woman I am today because of my mother 🙏🏼
Greg Latinos are known for being more strict. It’s not necessarily about race but Latinos have done a great job of not falling into the coddling trap many other cultures have fallen into. I’m white and think this is very clear.
Yup, my dad always said if you live in my house you live by my rules. And if we lived at home we had to be going to school &/or working. And if we moved out and found out what it was like paying da bills we could move back once. But it wasn't going to be a revolving door and da 2nd time we moved out we were on our own. 👍
Peopk6e make the mistake to think that they can do whatever they want to do and dont gave to listen to anyone or rules. I went to the army, thinking I'm gonna go because I'm tired of my parents telling me this and that but guess what the army did too but worse! So no matter who you are whatever you go and whatever you do you have to listen to someone or else. Whether parents or the military or a job or the police or the government so I dont get the prideful attitude that we think we can DO WHATEVER WE WANT just because we now past 18 years old. Lol.
Parents continue to coddle their kids! When I was 19 I was going to college full time, working full time, and paying all my own bills, plus rent to live at home!!! Parents teach your kids the value of hard work and paying your own way, make them work and pay their own bills, and yes this means making them work in high school!! Otherwise enjoy having them live with you well into adulthood because there is no motivation to work and pay bills on their own.
@@angelikalaser7778 probably not since I finished college like 4 years ago!!! You are just another millennial cry baby with another excuse as to why you cannot work and go to school and pay for some of it.... college was not cheaper for me than it was for you, I just did it smarter and wasn't lazy.... Boom! I also didn't say I paid for college out of pocket, I did take out some loans, but the money I made working off set it, as did some scholarships. my point is that parents need to teach their kids to work, and that they CAN multitask and do two thing at once (work full time and go to school full time), and that people need to stop being cry babies claiming they cannot work and go to school, or do both full time. WAAAH, cry me a river. I worked full time from 18 years old and on, and went to full time school for many many years to get where I am!
@@bettysmith4527 College tuition goes up by like 3% every year lol. So yeah it is significantly more expensive now. I know the school I went went from having it 40k per year in 2014 to like 50k per year in 2020. It's so silly. (By the way guys, do NOT go to private college. Total scam and not worth the price). I am curious though. What did you do for your job? What school did you go to? Just doing the math in my head, if you were working full time and had 16 hour credit courses in the week, that must have been a really tight schedule by itself. Including things like homework and projects, I'm honestly curious as to know what type of job you were doing in which you were able to do all of that on time? Wait a second, I just re-read that. You had scholarships and student loans. Also you were paying rent...but with your parents. How much rent did you have to pay?
@@NomastiAfricanWarlord ok you are missing my point.... my point is that kids should be forced to work full time while in school AND to pay their own bills, and not have everything handed to them. I am not saying, nor did I ever say, they shouldn't be allowed to live at home, and I saying they should not be allowed to live at home free! I paid 500.00 a month while in school and living at home! Stop whining about tuition, it has not gone up that much, and even if it has gone up some so have wages!!! You are totally missing the whole point of my post, and that is to say parents need to stop coddling their kids and make them work and pay for things, whether they are in college or not!
11/29/20.... I am retired but raised in the South.... Middle of 3 girls....parents had HOUSE RULES so we didn't date until 16....we double dated.... parents met ALL dates every time we went out....we had curfew....we had chores to do BEFORE we went out....we kept our rooms neat/our clothes clean/helped youngest sister with her homework & chores. JUST SAYIN'.....
I’m 20 now and when I was 18 I decided I wasn’t going to follow the house rules so I kept my head down until I moved out 2 months after my 18th now we have a great relationship
People need to stop treating their adult offspring as kids and treat them as adults our you get our current generation that thinks they are not responsible for their actions
Oof, parents refusing to allow their kids to go to a hotel are incredibly manipulative. I agree that she needs to support herself more, but why are her parents trying to punish her for a relationship of 9 MONTHS?
It's probably because the main viewers of Dave Ramsey never had premarital sex before the age of 25 it sounds like. The main thing that it boils down to is either because they were never afforded that opportunity or the parents generally are manipulative. It causes broken relationships because the same people who make mistakes virtue their opinions that probably are not relevant in society anymore. And hint they made the exact same mistakes but never taught their kids what sound ones are in the first place. Mostly people who say "do as i say not as i do." type of philosophy.
I wonder if rather than "my house, my rules", maybe wording along the line of: These are our household rules. It sounds like you'd like to have a different set of rules you want to live by. This means you are taking steps to be an independent adult and want to establish your own household rules. Let us help you set up your new household" would cause a conversation rather than fight?
Yeah she’s needs to move out. I wouldn’t judge this daughter as a bad person. It’s just her time to grow up.
Yeah, she needs to fall and get scraped a little bit by reality.
And girls are more mature than boys.
@@asielmilian38biggest lie I’ve ever heard when they mess with a guy every other week that’s reallll mature
The parents are judging her as a bad person. So she certainly has enough of that as it is.
You can't tell a legal adult they can't spend the weekend away, but the same token, they can't expect you to pay their bills!
You can make whatever rules you want for the people that live in your house. They can choose to follow them or suffer the consequences that you decide exist for those who break the rules that live in your house.
You can tell them they can’t live in your house though
You can not let her back in to the house when she returns.
Once a person say "I'm grown I do what I want" its time to go.
😂👍🏼
Yup time to move out
My uncle always said this about his kids he would be like “they are grown i can’t tell em anything” Wack!!
Yep
And cut off the 💰 💰 💰
If she feels she’s “adult” enough to go on her own and do what she wants, then she’s adult enough to pay her own adult expenses.
Word
Yup! The Bank of Mom and Dad is now closed!
Consequences for your actions
I have a rule for my kids. When you’re 18, it’s college or military, but you ain’t hanging around here. Peace out, I’m ready to lounge in my underwear...
@@lovethemflowers is QQ
The girl wants to have all the rights and privileges of adulthood without taking on any of the responsibilities. You're either an adult or you aren't. Cut her off.
I stopped following my parents rules under their roof when I was 19. I was promptly removed. Thankful for that.
Same my man
Do you still have a relationship with your parents?
Jennifer J IG your talking to me, my father passed a few years ago and my mom, well, I’ll always love her.
On track to be an everyday millionaire within a years time.
@@RestaurantManager101 thats incredible but that can't pay for a broken relationship. I don't blame you though. they didn't want to work with you when you were trying to figure things out, they shouldn't be there when you figured them out
Stop paying for ANY of that adults expenses.
My parents let my sister move out at 19, but my mother would drop off groceries for her and pay for gas in her car. 😐
Mine threatened suicide. What then?
The legal system is crazy! You can try not give them finances and payments, but they can simply go to the courts and file for maintenance costs against you.
I have a situation at the moment where my 21 year old daughter is suing me for her living expensive, college fees, car, cell phone, food and medical expenses. The costs claim, is almost my full salary.
The legal system says I must pay maintenance until she is self supporting, regardless of age
@@ekp-g205 call their bluff.
@ J D - You have got to be kidding. What crackpot state lets a 21 year old kid sue their parent? At 21? Because their not self supporting. You’re in California, right? Only place I can imagine.
she sounds like she's afraid of her daughter.
I think you meant "afraid for* her daughter."
@@kaeleenm5207 no, ment what she said
Many parents are these days. They walk on eggshells around their kids to avoid making them upset. It's a symptom of the pussification of America
To me it sounds like she’s afraid of losing control over her daughter.
@@faioraNO, she's afraid to discipline her fdaughter.
I knew immediately she had a boyfriend. Same thing happened with me, and I was given an ultimatum. So at 19 I moved out. Fortunately, my situation turned out well and I grew a lot from it. Kick her out. I intend on not tolerating "I'm an adult, but still pay my bills for me" the same way my parents didn't tolerate that from me.
Sir We Are About to Die IMHO I think it's because American society is desperately trying to undercut the innate desires of women to have their own families.
Sir We Are About to Die oh many young males chase after young women as well.
@@josephinenelan4204 who in society is telling women not to have families? Can you tell me the statistics on single mothers on welfare?
@Sir We Are About to Die which is why men in the comment section have said that they went through the same situation when they were younger.
You don't like women, which is fine but at least use your critical thinking skills before making stupid comments.
@Sir We Are About to Die of course because you commenting makes it true. Critical think...
My goodness, it sounds like the situation with my 19 yr old daughter. I had to ask her to leave, because she didn't want to follow the rules. It is very hard as a mother to make the decision, but it had to be done.
Wow! This is the definition of a failed parent. If after 19 years of raising somebody teaching them from right and wrong in the values of life you have to ask them to leave is pretty telling 😂
@@s246088She’s teaching them her boundaries, which the child already knew. And now mom is enforcing those boundaries. They’re pointless without follow through.
Daughter says she’s old enough to make her own decisions then if she doesn’t follow her parents rules then they need to STOP paying for all the expenses she just listed. Period end of discussion.
One has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws.
I’m glad Dave finally addressed the RUclips comments about him needing to only talk about money. Dave Ramsey can talk about whatever he wants in the Dave Ramsey show.
She’s 19 w/ a boyfriend and a car... They’re going to hook up regardless.
She can do what she wants. If she has a boyfriend and car she can pay for own expense.
Yeah do what you want in your own place but not under my roof. My kids know better. My 29 year old has her own place she can do what she wants when she wants. When she lived with me she knew better. My 21 year old is focused on nursing school thank goodness. I’m grateful they have good heads on their shoulders.
@@marciabinninger2840 I don't understand if you go to work and you pay for what is yours Take care of yourself you can do what you please by going on a trip.
Hey guys I am 16 years old, Can you guys tell me if this is a good idea. What if I borrow a loan of 1 million dollars from the bank. 4% interest rate for 30 year. So i will be paying around $5000 every month back. I use that 1 million dollar and buy 10 houses for $100,000. I rent it out for $1000 a month. So every month i will get $10,000-$5000= $5000.
So my profit will be $5000 every month passively without doing anything. Is this a good idea?
@@kingboji958 no bank is just gonna give you the money.
Getting kicked out and having to survive was the best thing that happened to me when I was young and on a bad path.
A lot of 18 and 19 year olds want to be treated like adults, but not want adult responsibilities. It doesn’t work like that.
Sleeping with her boyfriend at 19 is not "stupidity"; that is her choice. However, the parents do need to decide if this is such a big deal as to actually kick their own adult daughter out of the house.
It doesn’t really matter what she is doing that they disagree with. The fact that she said, “i’m an adult now, and can do what i want” is the reason she has got to go. She is gunna be an adult and make adult decisions? Good, then go out into the world and be an adult.
I don't agree with you, but that's a great point!
@@raleigh2747 You're going to kick her out because she has a boyfriend? How will that impact the relationship with your daughter? What if they end up getting married, and don't invite you to the wedding? Is it worth the years of resentment?
@@alienwarex51i3 "You're going to kick her out because she has a boyfriend?"
No, that's not what i said.
@@raleigh2747 It's what Dave said. He and the other guy are encouraging the idea of kicking her out if she insists on going to spend a night with her boyfriend of 9 months.
I completely agree with the principle here; if the daughter wants to do her own thing (against her parents' wishes) then she should expect to take on the responsibilities that come with being adult. However, I think it's ridiculous that something so trivial would be the tipping point for the parents.
Being 22 and still under my parents roof. I still follow rules because that's what I expect my children to do. I hang out with my friends and have fun. I pay my bills such as car insurance, school, phone bill and invest all my savings. No boyfriend yet and don't plan on it any time soon. All my friends got kick out of the house because of this situation now they are living on paycheck to paycheck just because they didn't want to follow their parents rules also a lot of relationship problems.
STAY WITH YOUR PARENTS. SAVE MONEY, INVEST AND WATCH AND LEARN FROM YOUR FRIENDS WHO SAYS THE " IM AN ADULT AND I'll DO WHAT I WANT" Learn from their mistakes. Parents do what's best for their kids.
Yes, even if you don’t agree all the time, you are stacking paychecks for your future and will feel very blessed later in life.
When my son was 18 he said he didnt have to go by our rules and I told him to get out which he did. It was tough but 20 years later he is the best son. You gotta nib it in the bud early.
That happened and then my dad died I still hate him to this day
Not forgiving him only hurts you
*nip
I lived at home with my parents as an adult for a few years and l clearly remember my Mom telling me “If you want to live under our roof you have to follow our rules”. My Mom passed away earlier this year from pancreatic cancer. Thank you Mom, for setting those boundaries with me.
sorry for your loss
Celeste Vasquez Thank you.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
@@rangequeenThank you.
@@nantinee9 You’re welcome. God bless 🙏🏻
45 secs in I know exactly what Dave is going to say. "How do you expect her to act like an adult when you treat her like a child?"
My mom kicked my 31 yr old brother out for drinking and he was in detox and will be in rehab like next Monday. But if he declines that offer he has to do 5 yrs in Prison. Sometimes you can't help ppl who don't wanna be helped
Best wishes for you and your family. Sounds like a very tough situation. You are 100% right that you can’t force a person to be helped if they don’t want it, though it can be painful to watch.
That's sad and I am sorry to hear that, but that's not comparable at all to the situation in the video.
I love this. I wasn't perfect. I was not one for authority when I was young at 15. I was making bad decisions. However, my parents told me if I didn't want to follow the rules under their roof then I could leave. Well, I grew up quick after leaving. I came back 2 different times at 17 and also at 21. Each time for about 3 months each time. I'm 40 now. I LOVE my parents for it. I'm good now. Love you, Mom & Dad!!
Remember those times when parents actually actually acted like like parents without calling a financial show.
@IvyOracle more like the current system is messed up. Student loans have made collage stupid expensive and expected. Medical, while better, has increased in price to crazy levels.
Right i still got some whopping at 20 😂
@@jakeraland5806 Why where you home at 20?
bindingcurve 🤦🏾♀️ yes and i came in after curfew
@Onion Head School would not be crazy expensive if it was not for those loans. I saw it starting up in the 90s. Now it's just silly. But with all of the online schooling we are going to see a reset.
Dave is wrong here. Shes going on vacation. Her mom gave no evidence she was doing drugs or messing up in life in a significant way. Why should the parents care if their kid goes on vacation so long as they are safe. Where is the harm?
Dave doesn't believe in shacking up as he calls it before marriage. Parents and Dave don't like the banging part.
Strong Parents raise Strong Children who Evolve into Strong Adults..
Weak Parents raise Weak Children who turn out hating the world and all of it's surroundings..
Most of the time, but not always. My mom and dad had four kids, some of us listened and live good lives, some of us didn’t, and are miserable. At the end of the day, we all choose our own path.
@@anneshirley9560 So true, some are destined to never learn by the negative thoughts in their mind and the choices that they make.
I’ve always said I’m not just raising kids. I’m raising my children to become adults. I may be tough, but they listen and one day will see I made my decisions based off of what was best for them at the time and in the long run.
Read up on nature vs nurture in developmental psychology, these things are fiercely debated but current science consensus is very interesting. I'm humbly certain that your theory is not spot on.
You do have to be careful when kicking someone out of the house over a boy. They will only be pushed more into the bad situation. It's a good way to leave young people in a position where they are vulnerable to abuse.
When they get to that stage of, " I'm an adult I can do what I want" there's no turning back. Let them learn a painful lesson.
@@JoeyNYSDnomad What's the painful lesson in this particular scenario?
@@alienwarex51i3 probably single motherhood and working a low wage job to make ends meet. Heartache from the boyfriend having left her because the bond of marriage and responsibility is not holding him accountable. And of course, another broken child from a broken home. There are many assumptions here, but that is a very likely scenario as it happens to a high percentage of couples that simply shack up.
As an adult, she made the decision. You’re not going to make the rules in someone else’s house and still think you can do what you want to do. She wants to leave over a boy, let her leave.
@@jesusisc0mings00n3 If the parents taught her about reliable birth control then that wouldn’t be a concern.
When I was 19 I knew every answer to all world problems. I was so impressed with my wisdom. I think it comes with the age. I grew, had some life experiences and learned I was the microcosm in the macrocosm. I smile now when I listen to young people.
Yes! I was a super head strong young adult and pushed my parents boundaries. My parents held me accountable and today I am a responsible, functioning, educated adult.
Aubrey is a self important KAREN who screwed up her entitled princess by coddling her like a baby and now complains her PRIVILEGED girl is an unmotivated lazy arrogant PARASITE,the one SHE created. This call is unnecessary,if AUBREY really does HER job she would do the right thing and be a PARENT!!!
I kind of have the same problem but in reverse. I’m 18 and am wanting to work with my dad at his company (contracting plumbing company), my mother doesn’t want me to really leave and start a career until I’m in my 20s and I think it’s a bad idea to wait so long, it’s 4 years of trade school and apprenticeship with the possibility of good pay at worst and a chance to grow a thriving business at best. My parents have been separated for 9 years but are on decent terms she’s just worried I’ll make the same mistake she did and grow up faster then i have to. I also don’t feel comfortable completely disregarding her rules and losing my mom in the process but she pretty much shut me down every time I try to discuss it
Live in anyone else’s house, especially your parents, then respect their rules. Don’t not like it? Get out.
doesn’t matter if it’s their house an adult should be able to have freedom in there own house
@@RedShirtMenace808 freedom has a cost! So, pay your own freedom costs!
this happened to me then you know what happened I paid my own freedom I got my own place and never spoke to them again
@9INE PLANETS this is the exact situation i’m in except for i’m stuck at home and not talking to my abusive mother
@9INE PLANETS funds aren’t enough right now but i’m soon to be able to move out honestly
I was in a similar situation and left because my dad was too controlling, but I had the sense to leave and go to the military. I'll never understand why people think you can do what you want in your parent's house. If you don't like it leave, but don't expect them to keep paying for you at the same time. "I'm grown and I don't have to follow your rules, but don't remove me from your insurance and cell phone plan because I make little kid money." Get outta here with that mess.
And also make the mistake to think that they can do whatever they want to do and dont gave to listen to anyone or rules. Like you said you went to the military, just like I did, thinking I'm gonna go because I'm tired of my parents telling me this and that but guess what the army did too but worse! So no matter who you are whatever you go and whatever you do you have to listen to someone or else. Whether parents or the military or a job or the police or the government so I dont get the prideful attitude that we think we can DO WHATEVER WE WANT just because we now past 18 years old. Lol.
Your dad was too controlling so you enlisted ? OK 👍.
Yup, lol. I never said that to my parents as long as they were paying my bills. I also was never gonna go to a hotel with my boyfriend while on their money knowing what their answer would be.
Yep I learned quick myself when I moved out at like 17, I didn’t have a phone or car when I left and luckily a buddy took me in but you can only couch bounce for so ling
@@pyewacketpeggy8329 The military is the way it is because it needs to be. The hypocrisy of parents pushing a moral code on their kids that a lot of time they did not follow is a lot harder to take.
Dave, I’m 19, I have listened to you for a long time, and I appreciate both the financial and the life advice. I hope you know that you have fans who appreciate your biblical advice!
I don't understand 90% of the premise of this answer. Like, I get that a kid who isn't self-sufficient can't pull the "I'm an adult; I'll do what I want" card, but the rest of this makes no sense to me. Why is it "stupid" to go on a trip out of state with a boyfriend? Why do you think the daughter will thank mom?
When I was the daughter's age, I went on a long international trip with my then-girlfriend (our parents did not object). We'd been dating about the same amount of time. We got to experience several different cultures and visit iconic cultural sites. We grew extremely close and while we were too young to commit to each other for life back then, I strongly suspected we would. We got married in our 20s and had kids in our 30s and once Corona is gone, we'll go back to dragging our kids around the world with us. It breaks my heart to imagine what might have happened had our parents interfered.
That's what religion does to people. Fries their brains.
@@drunkrussianisgood Couldn't tell you what the answer is here. Neither can any of the other seemingly braindead commenters, apparently. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a one-day trip with a boyfriend/girlfriend as an adult. To kick out your child because of such a little thing is terrible.
Everyone got different values so it’s not necessarily about the example but more about the parents turning on what they believe and letting their kid walk all over them cuz “they’re adults”. Instead, if the kid wants to do something outside of their values and don’t have respect for their parents opinions they got be independent. They can’t get it both ways lol
drunkrussianisgood - made my life much better.
It is wrong because they made a choice of a code of morality that you may not agree but they have a right to it. I happen to agree with this code because as a teenager I saw to many friends have their future derailed by teen pregnancy.
I love the Anthony and Dave dynamic. They speak the truth. I’ve paid for all my bills since I got my first job at 16. The only expense I never had to pay for was the power/water bill and food at home. It was hard at first, but you learn quick that your only option is to WORK and SAVE.
Wish I could have gotten a job at 16. I had spine surgery knocked me out for a year. Honestly when I first got a job I wanted to spend because I wanted a computer. So I bought one then pretty much saved. I have 9.4K
why are parents so weak? I had a conversation with my kids a month before their 18th birthdays. I told them the first time they tell me they are an adult, will be the day I let them be an adult. That means, no more money from me ever. To stay in my house they will get a free college education and hopefully a degree with no student loan debt. To tell me they are an adult will mean, they can pay all their own bills as adults should. The rules for my house were, no smoking, no drugs, no shacking up, no tattoos, they could ask for a friend to spend the night, that person would stay in the guest room on another floor of the house. One of my kids told me to kiss off, the other graduated from college in 4 years and went to work and started a stress free life because he has NO student debt. The other child who was smarter than everybody, struggled for many years because she wanted to shack up with a loser.
@Sir We Are About to Die I hate that you are correct. We have an adulterous president. kids in cages, and parents who think it is OK for their kids to shack up. I am not religious because that is corrupt but I feel marriage is about commitment and true respect. I am the only person in my group of friends who has told their kids you better not shack up. My friends think it is a good idea to try it out first. Yuk is an understatement.
@Sir We Are About to Die wow, no. I wish young people would just treat themselves with respect and dignity.
@Sir We Are About to Die I hope your version of discipline does not include assault and battery. America is about choices and no fear. I gave my kids choices. One choose college with my rules and the other did not. We know who is having a better life. I told them many times, bad choices will equal a sad life.
Well i hope your "loser" hates you forever 😂 happend to me and i hate them forever
@@aquaticasmr184 what happened to you? You decided not to be sensible and follow sane rules to build a stable future? How are your bad decisions anybody else's fault. Sorry you are suffering but stupid is not an accident, it is a choice. I hope it is not too late for you to make a sensible life for yourself.
One of the best things I heard regarding a similar issue with something that dr. Laura said; which was "you cannot be a dependent child and an independent adult while living under my roof." If you want adult Independence then you have to go out and be an adult.
Totally went through this with our 18.5 year old. Kid actually told people kicked her out because we said "you can live here as long as you want, but there are certain things you can't do in our home." Very painful to deal with.
Lots of non financial calls these days on Ramsey’s show
9:10
It’s all related to money. Also, there’s more to life and things that indirectly impact money.
Well if you actually listened to the podcast or the actual radio you'll know that he literally says in the intro: a show about your life and your money.
I think he is the daddy that some did not have! level headed non political advice.
He even alluded to that in this segment too! It's his show! He can talk about underwater basket weaving for an hour if he wants to!
Best thing my mom did was kick me out at 18, I learned so much and became a better person... kick her out, she'll be fine!
She probably should get into the dorms or something so she can have a little more freedom. My bf (now husband) took me on bday trips and nothing happened at the hotel since I was saving myself. Lots of 19 years old get this freedom without being kicked out or abandoned financially. It is what it is though. This is more of a personal problem than a financial one though.
Yes. I agree. My family would not even let me travel with female friends.
Let's face facts, your story is 1 out of 10 million. You put two teens in a hotel room and you really believe nothing will happen? You're either a troll or extremely ignorant, don't reproduce please.
@@Thelegendl23 theres nothing they could do at the hotel that they cant already do in their home town/city. She could lie and say shes going to her friends for the day and see the boyfriend. They have cars etc.
@@smn5672 That's what I was thinking. Also if she is forced to move out, the first place she is gonna go is straight to her boyfriend.
@@smn5672 no, wrong. And if you have that thinking I pray you do not have a daughter, or you will end up a grandparent. Enjoy your bad parenting skills.
I'm sooooooo happy that your parents are doing well and can see the fruits of their labor, Anthony!!!!! Same with mine. There's nothing quite like it. Thanks, gentlemen!!!!!🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏽♀️
Nah I moved out at 18 while I was In high school I never moved back. I’m a nurse now and I’m glad I never came back me and my parents don’t have the best relationship.
If you think they are good parents and you love them find a way to fix that. Life is too short.
You moved out of their house and moved in with who?
@@Virgoindigo she dont think theyre good parents. Its not the childs responsibilty to fix the relationship if the parents ruined it.
@@saptab1344 I understand that but regret is the worst thing to live with in life so if its worth fixing and she dont mind being the bigger person why not.
This woman is too soft on her daughter. No way will she heed their advice
Why is this so lopsided and extreme? Adult children should be paying the majority of their expenses and the parents should be there as support, guidance, and things like shelter and health insurance as applicable. But also to have an adult relationship with your adult children, you cannot patrol your children’s relationships. If you want to say a partner isn’t allowed at the house over night then your house your rules, but your adult child’s decisions outside your property is not your business.
It's lopsided because parents don't want to see their children grow up to be different than them, that's why. You'd think after 19 years these parents would realize they'd be having the birds and bees talk and proper usage of protection, and to encourage healthy relationships and freedom..
@@Chris-sc5jg Not sure what that has to do with treating your adult child as an adult and not wanting to kick them out over a three day weekend. If you can’t trust your 19 year old kid to go on a vacation, or won’t let them, then you’ve probably failed as a parent, at least on some level.
@@Chris-sc5jg Incredibly intellectual critical analysis! Thank you for contributing to this discussion.
She can take a vacation but not pay for her car, food, cell phone, rent etc. See how that works? That mom was afraid to let go which is why they didn't want her dating. The daughter is an adult though and its time for her to go. The daughter got that part right. She's an adult so she needs to leave and live her life in her own house and pay her own expenses. It's not mean, its a natural thing.
The daughter is in school/college, she says it in the beginning. Her parents are paying many of her bills because they want her to stay focused and succeed in college. She's probably a freshman/softmore. If the daughter has decided she's an adult and shouldn't need to respect her parents rules. Then by being an "adult" she no longer needs to be dependent on her parents. She can figure out how to pay for college and her bills on her own. If she was just working and paying her parents rent or something, then sure she could argue that she's an independent adult. But she's expecting to do what she wants and have her parents foot the bill regardless.
You can't have it both ways. "I'm an adult, so I can do what I want!" If that's the case, then you need to either get your own place or start paying rent. And guess what? Even adult tenants still have rules and stipulations they must follow to live in a piece of property that doesn't belong to them.
Just as it wouldn't be fair for them to demand rent or have her move out and buy her own place but then still treat her as a minor child, it's unfair for her to expect to be taken care of financially and otherwise like a child, but then want to pull out the "adult" card so she doesn't have to follow rules.
@@MicheleNichols2 Yes because it really sucks if you can't control a kid who takes on adult responsibilities. Some parents just want to put their heads into the sand.
Actually, I did charge rent AND they still had to follow the rules. My children paid ALL of their car expenses and phone expenses. They were given one year after graduation to live rent free unless they were in college full time. If not in school full time they were charged rent. That rent went up each year. I wanted to encourage them to act like adults and move out. I did have to kick one out because he was drinking and driving and there is no drinking at my house.
Sandy Seibel Hager Great Job! I am 22 living in NYC with my mom and brother. We moved here 3yrs ago so obviously we don’t have a home of our own so we rent. The rent and utilities are split evenly between us three.. ideally. Unfortunately my brother has a drinking problem and financial problems where he can’t seem to keep money in his pocket. Well for this to happen for the 3rd time where he is jobless with no money, I said to my mother I will not be going half on his portion of the bills. It is not fair for him to take from my future, nor her future. So since it’s been like this since June, I sat on my word for the most part. I ended up paying the entire electricity bill and giving my mom some money to help out. I am an undergrad Bio major and plan to go to PA school. Which is not cheap! My emergency fund money can’t go down the drain for his irresponsibility and failure to be a man.
When I started dating, the rule was the boy had to meet one of my parents. They were terrified of my 6’6 but it helped keep stupid away. Thank you, Dad for creating a moral foundation.
May God help these parents and work in this young girls heart!!🙏🙏❤️
Going from "child/teen" to "responsible young adult" can be a hard transition... parents obviously love her and want to help her, but she is becoming an adult now and will be making adult personal decisions. One piece of advice from my own experiences is to not try to use money as complete control (even out of love). Sit down with her and tell her you're having a tough time with her becoming an adult but since she is then it's time to figure out a new plan. That may involve her moving out or just taking over all of her finances (cell phone, car expenses, personal spending money, all eating out/entertainment money, books, etc). I'm guessing all her job money is going towards fun and clothes and some gas right now... it also gives her money and time to spend with the boyfriend that she wouldn't have in the real world.
Adults pay their own way. Apartment, food, etc...
Guess imma be a kid till 25 then
Plan to piggie back ride and invest most of my paychecks to build wealth
Absolutely! Step one-get a job..Step two-get a place to live. Nuff said.
If you pay your bills and rent theres no issue to me
Wait, did I miss something? All I heard is that she wants to go to another state with her boyfriend. They have to sleep somewhere. In the scheme of things, it’s not the end of the world. It’s not like they are Bonnie and Clyde committing robberies or she announced she’s pregnant, going to drop out of college and elope with him. Maybe I’m a bit more liberal than Dave.
I thought I missed something too. At 19 I was still living at home and I was always going on vacation out of state with my girlfriend at the time. I don't see what the problem is at all. Granted I paid for everything I did and had, but not letting her daughter take a trip becausssssse???? Maybe it's because im 24 and still considered young, but I see a helicopter parent that's trying to jump into the discipline game a bit too late.
Justis Cady haha...exactly. I also hear an undertone of sexism. I would feel differently if she was 16 or 17, but she’s 19. The horse already left the barn. Hopefully they’ve already discussed the birds and the bees with her.
Dave and the people in the comment sections are acting like she's dropping out of school and addicted to drugs and getting high all day or something. That's really extreme kicking her out just because they're going on a trip with her boyfriend. Sounds like she has her life together, has a job while probably keeping her grades up. It's great to be able to live at home while going to school and save money on dorms and food.
@@HazmatFatCat Boys are often treated differently compared to girls with things like this. I bet if the daughter in the video was a boy taking his girlfriend out on a trip neither the parents or the people in the comment section would have cared much. But because she's a girl she's a "out of control brat".
peekinghills Exactly! Sounds like she’s a young woman in love. Odds are that they’ll break up at some point, but this isn’t some extreme scenario that requires Dave’s intervention.
I mean she's 19... What do you think she does when she's at college? At this age they should trust her because this will just ruin their relationship. Kicking her out sounds pretty ridiculous but I guess it's because they're Christian.
I think that it's very controlling to try to help someone financially only to stop that help for non-financial reasons. I assume that she's doing well in school and is not breaking this rule under their house, so I don't see the problem here. She is indeed a young adult but still an adult nonetheless.
Yep, can you imagine if it was a guy instead of a girl?
@@vzjrz my cousin is literally leasing a house with his friends hours away. I know that they're all nerds and will just have gaming nights, but he still has a girlfriend.
If it were a guy, they should do the same thing. A boy has unwanted consequences as well. They should look out for their son's long term best interest. And his character
Shes 19. The real question is do you trust her? If so it shouldnt have been a problem. Yes there should be rules but sit her down & have a talk. Why should a 19yr old be forced out? Back in the day parents wanted their children regardless of age to be at home until marriage. In todays world its basically impossible for any 19 yr old to live on their own. Its so expensive in many states.
My perspective is that of being on my own by 15.
The main issue being everybody could be kicked out just fine if they weren't going to be so financially destitute because of expenses.
Only comment that makes sense!
@NurturingTalents lol that's actually false, it just happened less openly. Also note teen pregnancy and related issues are actually *down* compared to the past.
@NurturingTalents OK Boomer that's what you thought happened
Seems like this one comes down to a religious issue. They don’t want her spending the night in a hotel with this guy.
Looool what's 19 have to do with it, she needs to move out immediately. My rules, my house.
It had to do with it cause she’s at the legal age to move out.
@@kindnessandgracestaysmilin5990 no it had to do with it because the mother was trying to condone her behavior because of her age, grow up and realize the facts. The person could be from 16 to 40 and it still be the sammmeeeee scenario. Please hop off my post ;)
@Thelegendl23 gorl hUh? Obvi I agreed with what you said, my point was she can’t kick out her kid if they’re under the legal age. Also I think 16 is way too young, considering they’re still in school, and I think anywhere older than like 20 is way too old. And FoRtY....that’s just insane. Plus you have to be careful with just kicking out your kids. Like I would make sure they have a steady job and some sort of plan, they’re still your kids just cause they are older. So that’s my opinionnnnnn (;
@@kindnessandgracestaysmilin5990 a 16 year old can be kicked out of the house... what you believe and what can happen factually are very different things. I'm sorry I misunderstood what you said as disagreeing, fact is the child could be any age above 16 and the facts remain. Anyone left saying "you're stuck with me until I'm 18" is just plain confused. My rules or you join the military at 16 and enlist at 18. Enjoy.
@@Thelegendl23 do you have a kid?
Stupid helicopter parents are simply reaping what the sewed
What are helicopter parents? My parents don't look like helicopters. They look like humans.
Sir We Are About to Die What 🤨
@Sir We Are About to Die That's not what helicopter parents are. Helicopter parents are parents that control their kids every move under the guise of "safety".
"Adults" have their own households. Pay their own rent, insurance, food, school, EVERYTHING.
Words of wisdom from a good friend of mine: "I pays the cost to be the boss! If you don't like it, it's time to move on."
My son moved backed home and he started coming and going as he saw fit so I told him "time to move out" he did. And my son graduated suma came late and is married. Being a parent is hard but it is our job .
you probably didn't help him achieve his goals then. You may've created some sort of ridge instead.
Good job, my mom did something similar with me and I'm in a far better financial situation than her now. And I'm happily married. I plan on doing the same to my kids if they try it. Time to fly, baby bird.
@@Ivana9910 well which seems less acheived? A kid living at home or a kid moved out and married?
@@thisisnotok2100 Him moving out and staying out is not related to you pushing him out. He was already capable since he obviously was not reliant on you in any way at the point that you kicked him out.
And when he had moved out he likely continued to come and go - _so what was your point- other than that you wanted to control his daily life and that could not get along with a fairly mature young adult. Or you did not think it worth your while to have him around a little bit (while he was clearly busy and fascinated with his life as young adult).
You and your partner must have done something right in the past because he had it already in him to succeed (or you and he were lucky).
But the act of kicking him for no urgent reason * did not make him capable of succeeding.
* I assume he did not wake you up during night when he came home and was not a nuisance or impolite, and contributed in some form (money, chores, babysitting pets or the house if you were absent, ...).
On the contrary: He was confident enough to not give in to your opposition of him behaving like an independent adult (coming and going as he saw fit).
A parent might like more company than a young adult is offeirng, but as long as they pull their weight finanically and regaring chores, the son doing the aloof roommate gig is better than him living in another place (you did not see him more than, did you ?). At least if you like your kids to be around sometimes.
If he had been weaker he would have been "obedient" instead of sticking to his own schedule (and his own life, I am sure he had a lot going on, incl. likely going out. As is natural for a young man). If he had tried to placate you and "played by your rules" it would have been for fear of financial problems and for not being sure if he can make it on his own.
If you want him to stay: Why give an ultimatum that only a weak child would accept.
If you want him to leave anyway - then it does not matter if he is home all the time or gone all the time.
Since he was capable at the point to do his thing, giving him SOME help (he saves in rent) did not "spoil" him. Unless you start accepting unacceptable actions - drug use, criminality, fighting, yelling, cussing - and he has to pay something (if he can) he is not going to be morally ruined because he gets some financial help.
Why would you care if your 19 year old daughter stays the night with her BF? Im glad my parents werent like that
Because it’s morally wrong
Because their religious and it needs to be forced on everyone around them.
@@happygirl7258 no.
@@jessa4596 If she can afford to live independently, she can do it. That's would be a mighty expensive sleepover.
As was your parents right. Others may choose differently. I personally agree because I don’t support abortion and believe that unplanned pregnancy happens. I saw too many friends derail their future because they choose short term pleasure. To be clear I support the right to choose but I don’t believe abortion is the moral choice. Still I respect each individual’s right to live their life based on their own moral compass.
I agree with Dave, parents need to set standards in the home. I don't see that happening with entitled brats! This mother needs to kick the adult "child" out to learn discipline and responsibility.
more like parents bring kids in this world without asking them and then expects kids to behave their way and when kids refuse they blame kids as if kids asked them to bring them in this world
Pro tip: Adults don't have to tell their parents they're adults. If you do, you're just showing that you're still a child.
No there are definitely helicopter parents that continue to micromanage after their kid has moved out.
I dont agree with kicking kids out at 18-19, fresh out of high school.
However, that is if they are indeed following your rules.
I do agree if they want to act adult, and disrespect you, kick them out.
@@saulgoodman2018 Except sharing a hotel room with the boyfriend and all that implies is against the family's standards/values.
I was 19 Dad said as long as you live in my house..you obey my rules. I didn't agree with the rules and moved out on my own.
That was 44 years ago. Worked out real well. Debt -free lifestyle. Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional.
Look you do you but I guess I don’t really see the issue with a 19-year old staying in a hotel with a boyfriend in a committed relationship of 9 months. Dave said she was “sleeping around” which is not what it sounds like. I understand having an issue with her being defiant but I don’t get why the parents have an issue with the idea in the first place
*cough* helicopter parents *cough*
How about respecting their morals and not imposing her own on her parents?
Dave doesn't believe in shacking up as he calls it before marriage. News flash for parents, most relationships are banging pretty early on.
There is no commitment. Marriage is the commitment.
Just bc it may be happening and all over our culture doesn't make it right, admirable or something the parents should condone. It has poor consequences financially, emotionally, spiritually and relationally. Go get the book Why Wait.
Honestly if my parents were threatening me financially for making my own life decisions, then I would know it's time to move on with life.
It’s called boundaries.
Yeah, wasn't exactly pleased to be shuffled out before I'd gotten my loan debts taken care of, but I'm actually grateful to them. It wasn't so much a 'My house, My rules' so much as a "Fly free, Little Birdie!"
Ok both ridiculous. She's already sleeping with him. Parents that are this delusional just astound me. Also, let kids make their own decisions, be clear with them on how to stay safe and not get pregnant. She's in college it seems.. C'mon. You're gonna break the relationship with your child over this? Please 🙄
All over going on a trip as adults? A trip that ruins everything?
Yeah, the parents are insane. Dave is also.
Right!!!???
She probably thought she was going to get kidnapped or something or sold off into some trafficking/experience a traumatic event.
@@danielvasquez3758 How much do you want to bet she let her daughter walk to school or go out with friends? Plus she's been dating the guy for almost a year...
My kid is free to make her own decisions after she turns 18. My financial support will only go to decisions I think are good. My love is forever.
Heres my perspective as a 24 year old. Shes a fully grown 19 year old adult. If youre going to financially support your child, who is a grown adult, you should not use that support as a weapon to control them. That is extremely toxic and narcissistic behavior that will make your child resent you. Your job as a parent is to guide your kids into becoming a good person, not to force them into being one. Its sad that all of these boomers still have this toxic and controlling mindset.
As you say, she's an adult, but she's anything but "fully" grown. The brain doesn't fully develop the ability to reason, rationally, until the mid 20's. They wouldn't be forcing anything - it's the daughter's choice - but a 19yo doesn't have the awareness or maturity to make that choice. What do you suggest as a solution?
As someone the same age I agree 100%. I have similar parents who took the control route and used my brother and I’s financial dependence as a weapon. I took it as motivation to finish school early and get out. However, my brother was never able to get on track until recently and will now be living under their roof through his early 30’s. It’s possible to let kids learn from their own mistakes while not having to cut them off financially.
It's sad that parents pay for the expenses of their adult children. Kind of embarrassing, really.
since the mother is so paranoid, the rule should just be “no boyfriends” 😂
I'm only 2 minutes in but it seems pretty obvious... she is an adult, she can go and do whatever she wants, but if she has money to go out of state and stay in a hotel, then she has money to pay her own bills. Why do the parents find this complicated.
While she's under their roof sure don't let the guy spend the night but what she does out of the house is no one buisness but here own
Sir We Are About to Die birth control and education you absolute idiot
Wait, what's wrong with a 19 year old staying in a hotel with her boyfriend? Is this some conservative Christian nonsense?
The daughter is doomed. Her mother will always be her enabler just like most (Not all) mothers are. The fact that she's calling into a talk show instead of handling business tells me she's weak.
When did all this “I pay my adult offsprings bills for them” start?? Sure didn’t happen to me. I didn’t get to start driving till I had a job that I could pay my insurance and gas with. And as a 16 year old, that’s all I could pay for. Haha
Yes! I know people who still pay for their kids phones, car insurance etc. even though they have well paying jobs (they are in their late 20's 30's). When I say that, I mean 70-80K or more! I don't get it! Some of them still have their kids (under 26) on their medical so that the kids don't have to pay their own even though their own companies offer it. My parents let me live at the house rent free while I went to the local State University and for that I am grateful. As soon as I graduated, I started paying rent (I worked all through school so I did have money). I don't believe they are helping their kids by not allowing them to assume responsibility for themselves.
Same here! I couldn't sit for my driver's license exam until I could pay for the increase in my parents' insurance. I had to purchase my own car and insurance. I wanted a car, so I had a job. I only had time to study and drive to work and back. It was an elegant system. I will say that this scenario in the video would have resulted in my moving out of my parents' house. HOWEVER, I moved out when I started college and never came back; there just wasn't any kind of disagreement. My parents started me off with $500 on my first tuition bill, and they were kind enough to help me with rent one month during my senior year. I never expected them to cover any of my living expenses, and I always had a plan on how I would do so. I know my parents would have preferred me to move back home for summers, but I was an independent young person, and those skills have served me well throughout my life. They prepared me well, and then they trusted me to make my own life decisions.
Always have to respect your mother, but the girl is 19 and already dating the guy.. I don’t see the issue here it’s just a trip
@brandon She does have a job and pays some of her bills. She's probably living at home to help her have a better start.
@@jasperj.d.g.4147 exactly. You don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Her parents don’t agree with this choice and don’t plan to subsidize it. If she wants total control of her life then she must sacrifice the financial assistance. There is nothing free in this life. True adults pay ALL their bills.
I already told my little kids. This is daddy and mommy's house. It's important to stress to kids that when they are 18, they are adult WHEN they move out of the house and support themselves financially. The law expects kids to be adults at 18 after high school.
@Sir We Are About to Die The age is 18 both for the draft and for voting purposes. Not like that matters much anyways, seeing as 18-22 years old are one of the demographics that vote the least.
Why have kids if they’re not welcome in “your house”?
@Sir We Are About to Die Do you have a kid? For purely biological reasons? Yet?
Sir We Are About to Die Cavemen didn’t have condoms, you do. You’re an irresponsible person.
The real question is... Would you rather see your rebellious child come home every night alive than not knowing where they are and what condition they are in right now?
Seriously these people are ridiculous
The Mom on this call seems like she is the one having "attachment" issues. Got to know when to let go, Mom, and let your daughter fly. If you taught her well and trained her up in the way she should go, when she is old she will not depart. (i.e. as the Holy Scriptures say). She'll learn the lessons and will thank Mom and Dad later. And Dad needs to step to that young man just like Dave and Anthony said.
Let me tell you parents of this generation are a bunch of wimps. My Latina mom did not play that and trust me I tried! 🤣🤣 I am the woman I am today because of my mother 🙏🏼
There are many great moms out there that are not Latina. I am not sure why you put Race in this comment. It is irrelevant.
Greg Latinos are known for being more strict. It’s not necessarily about race but Latinos have done a great job of not falling into the coddling trap many other cultures have fallen into. I’m white and think this is very clear.
I only lived in my car for a week before I apologized to be allowed back in my parents house....six months is a loooooong time
She's an adult, you can't control her and decide how she lives her life. You're acting like she's 15 years old.
In that case the daughter should move out and stop depending on her parents financially
Yup, my dad always said if you live in my house you live by my rules. And if we lived at home we had to be going to school &/or working. And if we moved out and found out what it was like paying da bills we could move back once. But it wasn't going to be a revolving door and da 2nd time we moved out we were on our own. 👍
Peopk6e make the mistake to think that they can do whatever they want to do and dont gave to listen to anyone or rules. I went to the army, thinking I'm gonna go because I'm tired of my parents telling me this and that but guess what the army did too but worse! So no matter who you are whatever you go and whatever you do you have to listen to someone or else. Whether parents or the military or a job or the police or the government so I dont get the prideful attitude that we think we can DO WHATEVER WE WANT just because we now past 18 years old. Lol.
Mom just wasn't ready to let go. She sounds sweet.
I'm 21 and still live with my parents HOWEVER IT'S NOT MY HOUSE SO I STILL FOLLOW THE HOUSE RULES.
The daughter isn’t the problem. It’s the parents.
@b that's why they are kicking her out lol
@b no. Its because she isn't following there rules and they own the house. They won't support her poor decisions
The parents have boundaries. The daughter going against them is the problem.
Parents continue to coddle their kids! When I was 19 I was going to college full time, working full time, and paying all my own bills, plus rent to live at home!!! Parents teach your kids the value of hard work and paying your own way, make them work and pay their own bills, and yes this means making them work in high school!! Otherwise enjoy having them live with you well into adulthood because there is no motivation to work and pay bills on their own.
When you went to college, it was cheaper and there were jobs.
Welcome to 2020 boom.
@@angelikalaser7778 probably not since I finished college like 4 years ago!!! You are just another millennial cry baby with another excuse as to why you cannot work and go to school and pay for some of it.... college was not cheaper for me than it was for you, I just did it smarter and wasn't lazy.... Boom! I also didn't say I paid for college out of pocket, I did take out some loans, but the money I made working off set it, as did some scholarships. my point is that parents need to teach their kids to work, and that they CAN multitask and do two thing at once (work full time and go to school full time), and that people need to stop being cry babies claiming they cannot work and go to school, or do both full time. WAAAH, cry me a river. I worked full time from 18 years old and on, and went to full time school for many many years to get where I am!
Angelika Lirgendwas no everyone younger now a days thinks they should have a Benz, the newest phone, clothes, and a 4 bedroom house.
@@bettysmith4527 College tuition goes up by like 3% every year lol. So yeah it is significantly more expensive now. I know the school I went went from having it 40k per year in 2014 to like 50k per year in 2020. It's so silly. (By the way guys, do NOT go to private college. Total scam and not worth the price).
I am curious though. What did you do for your job? What school did you go to? Just doing the math in my head, if you were working full time and had 16 hour credit courses in the week, that must have been a really tight schedule by itself. Including things like homework and projects, I'm honestly curious as to know what type of job you were doing in which you were able to do all of that on time?
Wait a second, I just re-read that. You had scholarships and student loans. Also you were paying rent...but with your parents. How much rent did you have to pay?
@@NomastiAfricanWarlord ok you are missing my point.... my point is that kids should be forced to work full time while in school AND to pay their own bills, and not have everything handed to them. I am not saying, nor did I ever say, they shouldn't be allowed to live at home, and I saying they should not be allowed to live at home free! I paid 500.00 a month while in school and living at home! Stop whining about tuition, it has not gone up that much, and even if it has gone up some so have wages!!! You are totally missing the whole point of my post, and that is to say parents need to stop coddling their kids and make them work and pay for things, whether they are in college or not!
"Go be you!" That's really a loving thing to say.
11/29/20.... I am retired but raised in the South....
Middle of 3 girls....parents had HOUSE RULES so we didn't date until 16....we double dated....
parents met ALL dates every time we went out....we had curfew....we had chores to do BEFORE we went out....we kept our rooms neat/our clothes clean/helped youngest sister with her homework & chores.
JUST SAYIN'.....
Moving out at 19 is dumb and a dumb financial decision lol
A.O. grew up under a terrible parent and doesn't even seem to be aware of it. Sad.
Poor mom is an enabler against her own value system, is the reason daughter is acting up.
wut.
The daughter is literally planning a mini vacation (that she can afford). that's hardly "acting up".
I’m 20 now and when I was 18 I decided I wasn’t going to follow the house rules so I kept my head down until I moved out 2 months after my 18th now we have a great relationship
People need to stop treating their adult offspring as kids and treat them as adults our you get our current generation that thinks they are not responsible for their actions
You trained her for 18yrs to be exactly the way she is. Accept that then apologize to her and move on.
Oof, parents refusing to allow their kids to go to a hotel are incredibly manipulative. I agree that she needs to support herself more, but why are her parents trying to punish her for a relationship of 9 MONTHS?
Not manipulative at all. Can't cry I'm an adult from your bedroom at mommy's house.
It's probably because the main viewers of Dave Ramsey never had premarital sex before the age of 25 it sounds like. The main thing that it boils down to is either because they were never afforded that opportunity or the parents generally are manipulative. It causes broken relationships because the same people who make mistakes virtue their opinions that probably are not relevant in society anymore. And hint they made the exact same mistakes but never taught their kids what sound ones are in the first place. Mostly people who say "do as i say not as i do." type of philosophy.
I wonder if rather than "my house, my rules", maybe wording along the line of: These are our household rules. It sounds like you'd like to have a different set of rules you want to live by. This means you are taking steps to be an independent adult and want to establish your own household rules. Let us help you set up your new household" would cause a conversation rather than fight?
This is toxic af. Holding money over someone’s head to control them! Great parenting
Exactly