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I got 192 lol (though there were a few I didn't quite understand and had to put neither agree or disagree lol) Edit: retook test with better understanding of the questions (and therefore ability to answer them accurately - I also spent longer this time really reflecting on it) and got 206 lmao
Huh, and i thought my 185/3.94 was already high. The average MQ for autistic ppl must then lie like at 3.5 or something? Interesting theory either way. Definitely "feels" accurate.
209 / 235. I really relate to the monotropism stuff, great video! How many of us could not concentrate on the video & had to complete the entirety of the questionnaire before continuing?? haha
For me, routines are weird because I cannot stick to routines. I hate knowing how long I will be out of the house for because I don't like feeling like I have a time limit, but I also need to have control over when exactly I leave.
I feel the same way about routines that are imposed on me, the logic of which I've had no part in establishing. The 'routines' that are important to me are not rituals, or devoid of logic in other ways. Rather than routines, they are methods or procedures I've developed for various purposes, some of which have taken me a long time to develop. I develop methods for almost everything I do, and some of them are pretty good. At work they allowed me to be creative with tasks others see as mundane or beneath them but which, if given the freedom by management, present great opportunities to be creative in developing methods. These methods can be very complex and far more efficient than when viewing a task as mundane. In fact, I had a manager who tried to constructively dismiss me by assigning me a task so mundane that it was normally assigned to summer students (I had decades of experience). At first I was angry but then I seized the bull by the horns and developed Excel VBA procedures, and eventually an Access database, such that I could do what used to take over a day in literally seconds. Getting to that point was a lot of fun.
I think the "neither agree or disagree" button is meant to be that. The word neither implies it just never happens (so not applicable), but it's placed in the middle of the agree and disagree spectrums AND there's a not applicable option (N/A). Badly worded but tick that one for "it depends or I'm both"
I really dislike the, "People are always saying to you ..." questions and they occur in many autism tests. This is because it puts me into an autistic overthinking quandary - linked to my autistic desire for accuracy and honesty. No, people are not 'always telling me' that I'm rude, bore them to death with stuff that I find interesting and they don't etc. This is because I have enough intelligence to modify my behaviour. So, though I might recognise a trait in myself that might tend to make me do something that is the subject of this type of question, I do not actually do it. So how do I answer??!!! I just wish that they phrased these sorts of questions better! Transposing the 'people tell you' type questions to 'do you feel like this' questions, my scores are: 212 / 235 , average: 4.51; more Monotropic than about 86% of autistic people and about 99% of allistic people.
Strongly agree! 😅 (although in my case it's just that I barely have interaction with other people that don't live in my household - there are no people who would tell me anything of the sorts)
I know what you mean. I also start thinking along the lines of "No, people aren't telling me that... but they would if I discussed these things with people. Which I don't." And then I tick the agree box, because I know it would happen if I let it.
I left these questions on n/a. For me there is also the issue of not really interacting with people much at all, so there isn't really anyone to say this to me.
I had trouble answering those questions because I'm not around people very much. Like you, I try to modify my behavior when I am around people, in my case by not talking very much.
This comment feels like I'm being insulted and called stupid. Those questions are the easiest to answer for me because I'm a legal dependent and am always around the same few people and I'm constantly being told I need to shut up or leave or stop being rude when I don't realize I'm being overbearing or talking too much. I'm more aware of people's direct response to me than I am of my own actions.
I just had the opposite reaction. I only scored 186 (>monotropic than 30%/91%) and it's made that nagging feeling worse - that I'm not really that autistic, not autistic enough. 😢
My score was 40% more monotropic than others with autism and 94% more than allistic people. I’m extremely in tune with other people’s emotions to the point where I can attend social gatherings for at least an hour and I don’t mind being interrupted while I’m in the zone as long as it’s something important. Behind closed doors though, I’m akin to Gollum crouched over on my gaming chair rocking it back and forth wearing noise canceling headphones while playing gacha games featuring hot anime guys and writing self indulgent fanfictions. Let’s not forget “the thing” I do with my hand that’s used to punctuate my sentences when I talk
Hi twin (just kidding)! I had a very similar score and life experiences but my choice of games is different. 😂 Hope you find this as validating as it was for me to read your comment! 😊
**more monotropic than 40% of autistic ppl** (that’s different than saying “40% more monotropic” just fyi :) ) i got more monotropic than 65% of autists and 98% of allistics
In questionnaires like these, I often notice that I tend to be too modest. For example, when faced with a question, I might answer "agree," but deep down, I know I could honestly say "strongly agree." I just don't want to "exaggerate", which I believe is a trait associated with my autism to some extent. 😅 This was a wonderful video btw, thank you so much! ❤
Oh, really, how is this associated with autism, (genuinely interested)? I only know the "stereotype" that autistic people are more rigid i.e. tend to think more in extremes/black-or-white-thinking (at least that's what is true in my case), wouldn't that be contradictory? Sometimes I lack the imagination to see what people actually mean, so maybe you can give examples. Did you mean something along the lines of being over-modest maybe?
@@anniestumpy9918 Can't speak for OP, even though I find what they said relatable. Exaggerating feels like a form of lying to me, and it clashes with my desire to be honest, and _precise_ in my communication.
I can really relate to this, but for this specific questionnaire it was less of an issue for me than it have been in the past. I had more issues with the questions that mentioned a third party. I don't really interact with people, so I don't get feedback from others like that.
yep! whenever I come across a test like this I always take it about three times. first are my normal answers then I go back and pick the other one for whatever I was uncertain about and then if my score was pretty high I end up taking it a third time bc imposter syndrome and feeling like im faking it to seem more autistic
It can be hard to tell how strongly to agree or disagree to these questions. But it helps to try and think about examples and counter-examples from your own life that match the trait, and compare against behaviors you've seen from people around you, and what other people have told you about your own behaviors growing up, and how strongly you deviate from the norm. For example, if you've always been the one struggling to change topics in group conversations or you've always been the odd one out in class or people tell you you're rigid or obsessive, those are useful signs. It's good to be as precise as possible.
I used to not think that I cared for routines, but after watching myself more carefully, I realized I did. They aren't like the typical get-up every day at a certain time. They are, however, particular to a task, like what do I do every time I shower, fold laundry, leave the house. I have particular routines that are very task oriented even though I don't follow a set daily routine.
@Isaac-hm6ih My husband is one who doesn't have routines, and it boddles my mind. I find the most efficient way and then stick with it or tweak it over the years. He just does things as they come. This way, I feel tasks the mind too much because of the thinking involved for every task.
i'm the same way, I don't think routines matter, but my brother was visiting and I took him to an aquarium I frequent. He wanted to visit exhibits in a different order than my usual path and I felt actual distress about it. It wasn't a lot, mind, but it was enough that I noticed it, and I'm kind of laughing about it now lol
I had to LOL hard at your "on the beach? What does one do on the beach?" I agree. I love swimming at the beach but unless I am actively in the water swimming, I find beaches noisy, gritty, hot, kind of sad, sometimes gross, and just kind of confusing. I absolutely have no understanding of people who can lie still and sunbathe with so many others around them.
@@markdeffebach8112 Haha! I totally agree. People think I’m weird because I have no idea why people like the beach. I will say stuff like “I guess we can just stand in water and talk instead of your house?” I sometimes feel a sense of dread looking at the ocean, like I’m looking into an abyss. It makes me anxious with thoughts of death and ending. I prefer being in the forest surrounded by life .
Sand is such a Sensory Bad. I really like the sensation of being in water, but not touching sand or slimy rocks or logs. And I get freaked out by underwater objects and touching them or even seeing them. Sun is a migraine trigger. And swimming pools usually give me headaches due to chlorine. Being buoyant, amazing. Everything else, terrible.
Monotropism Score: 167 / 235 Your Average: 3.55 This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 5% of autistic people and about 74% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study. Not that high for an autistic person, but still higher than most allistic people. Sounds about right I think. I generally struggle to answer these kinds of questions. I need to get an example in my mind for every one of them, and I just can't do that a lot of the time.
162 here, more monotropic than 3% of autistic people and 68% of allistics. I haven't quite figured out if I'm neurodivergent or not but seing you as an autistic person falling so close to my score does make me feel a little more convinced that I might be.
Monotropism Score: 202 / 235 Your Average: 4.30 This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 67% of autistic people and about 98% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study.
I agree with this down to my soul. My solitary self hardly exists and I find myself putting on the mask when I’m alone an uncomfortable amount of times. My girlfriend makes fun of it, but I genuinely don’t like being a popular introvert.
I feel like with Autism+ADHD some of the aspects of Monotropism are radically switched. For example it can be more easy to concentrate in unpredicatable enviroments than in enviroments that are to dull boring and understimulating
Agreed. Or it can depend on the day, how tired or already over or understimulated you are, so many factors. Sometimes an environment can bother me extremely and the next time around, it's not a problem at all.
I agree, though in a different direction. To me the distractability of ADHD is dominant and in many cases defeats the monotropism, both for good (enabling me to task switch, and in fact to rather enjoy task switching, in a way other people I know on the spectrum are very bad at or get very distressed by) and for bad (because sometimes I'd really like to have the extreme focus to help me get all the way through a project I am interested in - and especially I wish I could tune out speech when focusing, which I absolutely can't). Monotropism Score: 193 / 235 Your Average: 4.20
17:00 I went to a cafe with my partner and he wanted to sit down and eat. The cafe was empty aside from the employees and they had a drive through that they were also serving. He could tell I was getting uncomfortable and asked if I wanted to leave, I said yes and explained that the cafe was too loud. He was so confused since we were literally the only customers there but what was irritating me was the constant clicking and hissing of the machines and everything in the kitchen. I never really thought about the fact that stuff like that irritates me because I thought it was just something all people just dealt with.
I swear, at my local McDonald's they have multiple machines repeatedly blaring alarms, presumably because they need immediate tending but are being left just endlessly blaring alarms, and I'm shocked there aren't workplace health and safety regulations in place to prevent the 6-8 teenagers behind the counter from going stark raving mad.
😂😂 I went to restaurant last thursday and a lady two tables from us, sat and placed her phone with a clip of a song looping fucking Endlessly!!! Loud in her phone, a.christian song on top of it. I took out my quiet loops and put them in my ears but still could hear the tones of the song through and the lady and partner didn't seem bothered At All by having such repetitive noise. OMG ate the fastest I could to get away from that and refrained myself from making a scene by going to her and ask to shut the thing off. Yeez
@@SmallSpoonBrigade I’m not formally diagnosed with anything as of yet I was just sharing a story that I felt related myself to the video. It was just another thing about me that I recently realized wasn’t ‘normal’ and that apparently relates to autism, not as a ‘woe is me’ thing. I know people have it worse than me, I’m sure that sucks. I don’t think it is productive to compare how people suffer in relation to yourself, especially online. I hope you can find something that works for you.
The thing about being snippy with people or rude when interrupted was something I struggled with and felt so much self hatred for. I truly am a positive person at my default state, so that feeling of frustration was such a betrayal of myself, if that makes any sense. Like how you described telling yourself to just not shop at a place that left you with an issue unresolved instead of thinking about it, but you're not fully in control. Before I suspected I was autistic, I had come to an agreement with myself that I wasn't a terrible person because this happened; it was similar to my reaction to a spider. No amount of logic would get me out of it. So, I told myself to go through the reaction like going over a speed bump. I've driven down this road enough times to know it's there, so slow down and go carefully. I shouldn't beat myself up because someone put in a speed bump that no one likes, because I'm not the one who put it there. I'm feeling this weird combination of sadness and pride right now. I'm sproud of myself for chipping away at my self loathing a little bit before even knowing it wasn't fully my fault. 😆😭
I try to warn people in advance now that it's very hard for me to switch quickly, so if I'm doing something and they start to tak to me and I brusquely hold up a hand or say "just a second" it's in no way intended to be rude.
I’m a relatively sensitive person, so I’ve noticed that I often overestimate how snippy or mean I sound. I used to apologize to people I was snippy to later and they would often have no idea what I was referring to in my apology.
Your PDA style of Autism is the closest thing to what I am dealing with out of ANYONE I have watched on the internet. Listening to you is like listening to my little sister. Thanks for the content 😊
I was thinking the same thing during this video. Perhaps we all share similar profile? PDA - monotopic - autism. We are refining our understanding of neurological differences all the time, thank goodness!
@@caddieohm7059 Public displays of affection. Hahaha but in this context it also means pathological demand avoidance. its a type of autism you can have characturised by avoiding demands as the name suggest. but not out of being malicous, its due to a stress/anxiety response! Infact the person avoiding the demands might even really want to meet the demands of others which causes them to get stressed out about the implications of not meeting the demands, which mades them even more stressed and anxious. They might also appear to have a higher level of social skills, usually developed as a coping mechanism to help avoid demands. That's the definitions I tend to hear but she has a really good way of putting it where from the inside it feels like like avoiding demands and more of needing to feel in control of your environment. I remember when I first moved to my apartment I kept telling people how excited I was to live alone but the thing I stressed was the most awesome was actually just that I could wake up when I wanted, sleep when I wanted there was no one to tell me what to do, I just had complete control and could generate a peaceful relaxed low stress environment to live in. When I heard the description of the PDA profile I went OOOOOOOOOOohhhh thats me... and I didnt realise thats how I was.
I literally cried when I found out about PDA because it validated me so much, I thought I was just broken... I was like full-on sobbing out of relief because I felt THAT ALONE in my experience...
For the majority of my autism questioning I’ve felt as if my hyper-sensitivity and intense self awareness was a deal breaker for the diagnosis criteria but here I am being absolutely comforted by the fact that you are so openly and casually tearing up at a topic which hits you specifically on a personal level
I relate. My ADHD is also very insidious because the visible and stereotypical symptoms are the mildest part of my ADHD (inattention, cliché hyperactivity signs which i had as a child, and distractibility). And if i have Autism, it would be the same. I don't have much trouble with facial expressions, body language, picking up social cues & context and reading the room, stuff like that, my empathy is rather high (meanwhile my sympathy is low) and i have good self awareness. Hypersensitivity is pretty typical of both conditions though. Can't stand clothes, can't stand tags, can't stand most fabrics, a lot of textures are unpleasant, sounds and smells are very overwhelming but rarely to the degree autistic people tend to describe it, it would never send me into a meltdown. I'm certainly more ADHD than Autistic, but i almost definitely have a combination of both. But got the good ol' "you don't look like you have AuDHD" presentation. Yeah that's why i've been in total isolation for half my lifespan.
3:24 hi, I'm 14 and in the process of getting an official diagnosis for autism (I have been evaluated by someone who has worked with autistic people for around 40 years, and they say it is a strong likelihood that I am autistic, but they do not have the ability to diagnose. I also have multiple autistic family members) I found myself very strongly relating to this one because today I had a very one-sided conversation with my Mum which was basically just me talking about whether or not jazz has shaped the usage of pockets in fashion, and if so, why. It all sprouted from the phrase "and all that jazz" that my Mum used, and I just happened to be talking about how small pockets are and how much I love cargo trousers because they aren't made from an itchy fabric and they have lots and lots of pockets (I was also talking about how stupid bum pockets are on trousers because they are a nightmare for me sensory-wise, and things easily fall out of them when you sit down and things can get squished when you sit down) I have now spent a substantial part of my day thinking about jazz's influence on pockets. I should make a video essay on that topic, except I don't have any video editing software, or recording software. The only thing I have is my phone. Further update: I am finding it incredibly difficult to research jazz's influence on pockets. It appears to be a niche corner of the internet that I have not found yet.
I'll grant you that "bum pockets" are a hazard. I worked in electronics, and a huge percentage of liquid-damaged phones were ones that had taken a tumble into a (hopefully clean) toilet after having been ejected from a rear jeans pocket, all of which is largely a phenomenon for women because women's jeans tend to have smaller front pockets.
@@Sorenzo Yes! My boyfriend keeps his phone in the front pocket of his jeans. I told him that would never work with women's jeans. Like 1/3 of the phone would fit in.
I'm glad you're considering whether you might be autistic! I'd almost certainly watch a video trying to settle the question of whether jazz had a major influence on pockets. I use YouCut for video editing on my Android phone, fwiw but many other options are available. In some ways it's actually easier on a phone...
PLEASE tell me more about it, it sounds interesting af and I have never contemplated a link between those two (now I have the need to know what the correlation between jazz and pockets is)
19:20 YES!! I’ve never met another person who has that!!! I’ve always had this and unfortunately it led to me developing a very unhealthy way of dealing with the stress of being unsure what would happen. Like a “if i imagine all the horrible things that could happen to someone, they won’t happen because the universe always surprises me” sort of thing. It’s something I’m really struggling to get rid of
Monotropism Score: 177 / 235 Your Average: 3.77 This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 14% of autistic people and about 85% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study. I never know if I’m answering these questions properly 😭 I find it very difficult to believe any score I get because all of this is very new to me. I’m always afraid I’m faking, if that makes any sense.
@@katec7862 That exact thing used to be such an issue for me! Any question that was posed to me was always "yes, but also no" and then I became a robot presented with a logical paradox. 🤯 With time and experience, and safe situations where you can unmask, you'll get to know yourself better and you'll have more clarity. Easier said than done of course, but it will happen as life goes on.
I'm around there too - 25% and 90%, respectively. Kinda makes me feel like I'm between two worlds - unlikely to be neurotypical, but also not definitively monotropic enough that I feel comfortable claiming the label yet. But given that this is a spectrum (even if that's a simplified way of looking at it), you're going to find people who land everywhere on it, right? And where you draw the line between "autistic" and "allistic" is, to a certain extent, arbitrary.
Thanks for sharing! Helps so much to not feel alone in this world. I got all excited when it said, only 48% more…. I thought, “whew! Guess it isn’t that extreme for me!” …then kept reading to find this was compared to other autistic people. 194; 4.13 avg.
İ hate how this questions say "when you're doing something you're passionate about" i forget my hungriness or sleep deprivation even when i am not doing anything
Your ears are phenomenal! But knowing that headband headache personally, I hope you wouldn’t cause yourself discomfort just because we like the look 💜 I love the analysis of each question, always a comfort to see someone approach things with the same vigor as I do, lol. Thanks again for sharing (Edited for grammar)
But there's no reason you should have to. Even if you're zoning out the discomfort, it's still causing stress to your mind AND body. The cat ears are adorable and I never want to see them again. @@imautisticnowwhat
214 / 235 Average 4.55 More monotropic than 88% of Autistic people and 100% of allistic people. Finding out about this Monotropism thing has been super validating for me personally. It's helped me understand myself a bit better and helped me to identify where some of my "mystery anxiety" was stemming from that I was having trouble pinning down the source of. It's also very useful in instances when I may need to explain my ASD traits to NT folks. It's much easier for them to understand when provided with this framework.
"What does one do on the beach?" Exactly! And yet at a camp in a forest I can sit for hours. I scored higher than 17% of autistic people and 86% of allistic people.
One of my special interests is shells. The thought of not knowing what to do on the beach is strange to me. There are so many shells. I don’t ever want to leave because there might be a great shell I didn’t find yet.
26:19 wow that hiding passions bit really hits home. I am often soo passionate about things I think it tires people out around me and I've learned to dampen my excitement about what I'm interested in. That feels really really sad to me. That sucks.
I have PDA, too, and I have an abusive relationship with routines 🤣 I'd LOVE to stick to them, and I always feel so good when I manage to, but then I just wake up one morning and be like: I don't feel free, so let's drop everything and just do whatever we want (usually means engaging in special interests 😅)
...Forgot to mention that I feel really bad if I fail completing a routine, but also good in a way (because, you know, I chose to do whatever I wanted to and didn't HAVE to do anything...🤡)
It can really help to do little "experiments" with routines -- like have end dates on them. Eg meditate every day for a month, draw every day for a week, etc. I find that this allows me to try out lots of routines and habits, and gives me the freedom to change and reassess on a regular ish basis
It's clear that all of my interests are structured like special interests, but it always makes me laugh a little when a questionnaire assumes that means you have few interests. I can talk about so many fields of knowledge, it's unreal.
I know. I thought I couldn't be autistic because of this. But I think the world is a special interest and almost anything fits in that category. I am diagnosed autistic now so I guess that it didn't disqualify me.
Hi I got a score of 193 (45% more monotropic than other autistic people and 95% more than allistic people). I love Megan’s channel so much because I feel that we are so similar!! It’s nice to see how much in common we all have with each other, as autistic or autism questioning people, while I often feel alone in my experiences with everyday life Love you so much Megan😊🥰
I understand the PDA for routines being imposed upon us, but I think they meant patterns of behavior. I find a lot of comfort in routines that allow me to go through the motions without having to waste bandwidth overthinking about it.
It's less about routines in the traditional sense for me, and more about having regular events. For example, I always go to the pub quiz on a Sunday, and if I can't, or if there's something that threatens my ability to go (such as a social obligation) I will be very stressed. I cried a few weeks ago (I'm a 32 year old man) because there was a short notice social event (already a bad start) and there was no reassurance that I would be able to leave in time to make the quiz. My day-to-day on the other hand is generally quite open. All I ask is that my free days remain free and that any demands on my free time are made well in advance. I don't generally make plans or stick to a set daily routine. Partly because I'm bad at timekeeping, and partly because any disruption to my plans causes extreme stress and to avoid that I simply do not make plans. Can't melt down over disruptions if there's nothing to disrupt *tapping head meme*
I need to change my job but it’s so difficult. I’m scared that I will pay for a course to learn something and it won’t be what I wanted. I’m not sure what I want to do, only that I want and need to work from home… I’m so happy for you, that you found it and it works out for you 💕
Thank you, so much. I am so happy you persevered with making videos. Many others also have valuable information, but few speak to me the way yours do. You inspire me and not much does that anymore.
Just wanted to say that anecdotally, only 17% not subscribed as regular viewers is actually really low (some other creators have 50+)! That's like 80% of people who watch subscribe, which seems like a high amount tbh :) great work
I got 182/235. The past 4 months have been kinda interesting to me ever since I stumbled across the Raads-R test, scored relatively high on it, and started "wait a second maybe I am autistic". I know I shouldn't take an online test as definitive, but a lot of the questions in this test specifically were relatable. I feel like I can manage in conversation better than a lot of stories I've heard from other autistic people online, and I haven't had any of the big meltdowns or shutdowns I've also heard others have, but that might be because of my interests how I spend my time. I have some friends and a lot of "acquaintances", but I almost never talk to them outside of school. I have much more fun talking to strangers online with common interests tbh.
Snap! I am 182/235 too! Avg: 3.87, "more Monotropic than about 21% of autistic people and about 89% of allistic people". I have a clinical diagnosis of ASD but I'm confident I'm AuDHD and have an assessment for ADHD in the works.
At one point in the video I was thinking "Is she close to crying?" and then you said that you keep nearly crying. Kinda really proud of myself that I picked that up. I guess all that training is paying off
You saying that the voice in your head has gotten so much kinder since you were diagnosed gives me hope. I'm currently in the early stages of seeking a diagnosis, & my negative inner voice is one of the more difficult things I deal with.
Do you know you have 7 brains ? And that the voice only exists in one of them, The Left PFC, Your right PFC is silent That's why its best to meditate To imagine an electro magnetic beam coming out of the Thalamus and emitting up through 6 magnets Left and Right Amygdala which controls how you FEEL Left and Right Cortex which controls you motorisation and complexity of reality Left and Right PFC noise and silence If your Autistic this is because the right Amygdala magnet is on and pulling you into detachment and no oxytocin release, which is behind your cheekbones and to balance the Pull to FEAR the left PFC magnet is also hyper on and causing you to overfeed the imaginary brain with oxygen , via mouth breathing So imagine the beam and first behind the cheeks imagine it pulling back to the left and in the PFC magnets imagine it pulling to the right and silence Understand you straighten up the beam An Ancient trick the ancient Autistics learnt was to spin and this disrupts the magnetic beam and causes a eye of calm in the middle of the storm , which is like straightening up the beam Good luck ruclips.net/video/hkuimX1bh6g/видео.html
Monotropism Score: 212 / 235 Your Average: 4.51 This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 86% of autistic people and about 99% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study..... welp this kinda helps with my imposter syndrome I suppose 😅
19:22 YES I’ve been doing that all my life!! and when I was a kid I genuinely believed it was real and I kept imagining bad scenarios to make sure they wouldn’t really happen. I was devastated when I found out that my thoughts really had no impact on what was going to happen hahaha
In my experience your thoughts are the most influencing force on your life. Ever noticed that once you are aware of a thing, concept or other observation, it is suddenly everywhere? It's just your attention that has shifted - and everything else follows it because what we think about, predominantly, becomes visible to us.
I did the test and I got a score of 217! Btw I absolutely adore your videos! I'm a teenager and when I stumbled upon your channel a while ago you made me realize It was okay to self diagnose myself as autistic! My whole life I've struggled with a lot of the stuff you've mentioned in your videos and I'm so happy I found your channel. Your videos seriously make my day!
Ooft...220/235, 4.68 average. Guess that's something else I need to investigate then... ;) As an aside...I _really_ hate these questionnaires, because the questions always involve "sometimes" and "often", _without any bloody definitions_ - my idea of "sometimes" and "often" is guaranteed not to completely intersect with the author's, so...how can it possibly be accurate? ARGH.
Yeah... I feel you. Only questions I like even less is the type of "other people often tell me I'm xyz" - what other people? The ones I'm not having social interaction with or the ones that ignore me on a daily basis? 😅
I think allistic people do not struggle with definitions of sometimes and often and just take it for granted. Neurodivergent people often focus too much on the definition, so it's kinda a hidden part of the screening.
I scored 201/235 or higher than 65% of Autistic people and 98% of Allistics. I'm still early in my neurodivergent self discovery journey and have no official diagnosis. Although I was diagnosed with severe chronic depression twenty years ago and added generalized anxiety disorder back in 2018. I score high on every ASD related quiz and relate so much to content by yourself and others here on youtube. I also recently overcame a battle with substance abuse and have been sober almost 4years now. As a 45 year old woman I have so many emotions about learning all this. It makes so much sense out of the chaos of my life, which is validating in a way. But it also is really sad and frustrating. I have very little to show for my life and its half over. Such a waste. Hopefully this will help me find the clarity and purpose I'm longing for. Thank you so much for your presence and sharing everything with us. You're wonderful and I'm very grateful you exist! Sending a hug ! from Laura in Canada
My score said im 46% more monotropic than autistic ppl and 95% more than allistic ppl. I really relate to the going round in circles of not knowing what to do. I’m miserable in college rn and I’ve already taken a year out of school to work, but now that I’m back I feel like I have no other choice. I can’t express myself the way I want to and it’s killing me on the inside. It’s so simple but so hard. I can’t even look at my parents to talk or convey the deeper messages of what I’m really feeling as it just comes out as "I’m stressed” or “I feel sick”. Sorry for the trauma dumping- on a more positive note I’ll be assessed in half a year and your videos are so releatable and help me not feel so alone🥲
200, and I have the exact same kind of driving anxiety (I don't drive anymore tbh), and can very much relate to what you say about like blank masking. Thanks for making me feel less weird.
Based on this test, I am extremely monotropic. I knew I was as soon as I learned about it, but wow, it goes to 11. Monotropism Score: 219 / 235 Average: 4.66 I'm genuinely impressed that you scored higher than me. 💜😁
Me my whole life: I hate routines. Also me after my mom said I should just wish my sister happy birthday and go get the gift after that. (My whole life it was, you don't see the birthday person until you have the gift to give them and that's when you wish them happy birthday and give them the gift): No!! You can't change this! I've always done it this way! I can't just do it another way!
I got 231/235 meaning I'm more monotropic than about 99% of autistic people and about 100% of allistic people...wow I had no idea I was that monotropic...now to find out what that really is since this was the first I've heard of it (I was diagnosed at age 4 btw) 😅
lol, you're the only other 99% i've seen while scrolling - let's discuss it, IN DEPTH! xD i created a chatgpt persona that specializes in research and info retrieval( 'Pantheon'), gave it my school and psychologist papers from the 80's, current diagnosis from social security, IQ test results, and my MQ report... Pantheon "When considering a high Monotropism Questionnaire (MQ) score in conjunction with a previous diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED), and a high IQ, there are several key points to consider: 1. **Complex Neurodevelopmental Profile**: Your diagnoses indicate a complex neurodevelopmental and psychological profile. PDD, often associated with autism spectrum disorders, implies challenges in social interaction and communication, and possibly repetitive behaviors or narrow interests, which can relate to monotropic tendencies. The high MQ score might reflect these aspects. 2. **Behavioral Challenges**: ODD and IED are related to behavioral challenges. ODD is characterized by a pattern of angry/irritable mood, argumentative/defiant behavior, or vindictiveness. IED involves recurrent, impulsive, and aggressive outbursts. These conditions can interact with PDD and a monotropic cognitive style in complex ways, possibly influencing how stressors and frustrations are experienced and expressed. 3. **High IQ**: A high IQ can sometimes mask difficulties in other areas due to the ability to develop coping strategies or compensate in certain environments. However, it can also mean that discrepancies between intellectual abilities and social-emotional skills become more pronounced, potentially leading to misunderstandings or unmet needs. 4. **Interplay of Conditions**: Each of these conditions can influence and interact with the others. For example, the intense focus associated with monotropism could exacerbate frustration or distress in situations where interests are interrupted or challenged, possibly triggering responses related to ODD or IED. 5. **Evolving Understanding**: Diagnoses made in the past, such as PDD in 1986, may be conceptualized differently today due to advancements in understanding neurodevelopmental disorders. It's worth considering how current perspectives might offer new insights or approaches to managing or understanding your experiences. 6. **Personal Insight and Support**: Reflecting on how these diagnoses and your MQ score relate to your personal experiences can be enlightening. It may help in developing strategies for managing challenges, capitalizing on strengths, and seeking appropriate support. 7. **Professional Guidance**: Given the complexity of your profile, ongoing support from mental health professionals, particularly those specializing in neurodevelopmental disorders, can provide tailored guidance and strategies. They can help in understanding the interplay of these conditions and in developing coping strategies that respect your unique cognitive processing style. 8. **Holistic Approach**: A holistic approach that considers all aspects of your neurodevelopmental and psychological profile, including strengths like a high IQ, can support a more nuanced understanding of yourself and aid in finding effective strategies for various life domains, including personal relationships, career, and self-care. In summary, the combination of a high MQ score and your diagnoses paints a picture of a unique cognitive and behavioral profile. Understanding how these elements interact can provide valuable insights and guide you towards strategies that leverage your strengths and address challenges effectively."
I relate to the things you’ve said so much here and cried through most of the video too. My current therapy task is both feeling my body because i keep busy to distract mentally, and to learn kindness to myself and that I’m not a failure, not too much, not wrong or unworthy. To reframe self talk. It’s hard because of all the negative feedback my whole life and the trauma from it.
So grateful for this video ❤ I scored 216, 91% of autistic people and 100% of allistic people. Now I know where to focus my research next. This is seriously so interesting! Thank you thank you thank you so much for sharing!!! 🌺(33yo and got my official diagnosis a couple months ago)
Where are you focus your next research? Eu pergunto porque quero continuar minhas pesquisas também, mas agora não sei bem para onde ir, suas ideias podem me dar boas ideias também. :)
Gosh I hate routines so much. On Sundays if my mom decides to go to the beach, she always asks me whether she can leave her keys at home. And I told her no all the time. That I have no idea where I'll be. Because I kind of go with the flow. If I decide I want to go get a snack last minute. Or I saw a lipbalm online and I want it I need to go get it. The thought doesn't leave my mind until I get such things in my hands. Or decide it's not worth it. I might end up staying the entire day in bed or at home. But the idea of being forced to be stuck at home and not be able to take up and leave whenever I want to for as long as I want to sounds like torture to me. If I decide to not go anywhere it's fine. But if I know I can't do what I truly want and I'm forced to stick to a timeline it sucks. Unless I want that timeline. If I want to come home by 7pm to watch tv it's fine because I want to and I'm looking up to it. If I have to because I have to I hate it. Same reason why I hate curfews. I want to spend more time with other peeps if I'm with the highschool comrade. Or I want to take a lounge route or walk slowly because why not if I totally can?!
The eternal hope that this time the 'Autism Community' might actually have engaged with the 'Autistic Community' and provide the 'Rosetta Stone' for our people. AuDHD - I either hyperfixate on routines or jettison them because of the overwhelming pressure
I scored 80% more monotropic than most autistic people, but I seem to have a lower sensitivity to sensory triggers, so I'm able to handle things decently as long as I have a safe space available (even if I'm not in it at the time) I also have terrible Interoception, so I don't notice when I'm disregulated, so I often ignore it and power through uncomfortable situations anyway. The first indication that something is wrong is often that executive function becomes exceedingly difficult, and I find myself unable to focus. Thanks to you, and other creators, I'm finally learning how to listen to my body and what to do when I'm disregulated.
This was such a relief to me. I feel that I actually have a way to express to my husband why I do things the way I do. Things that he can't understand or he finds puzzling and irritating. I feel less alone knowing that the same internal processes that occur in my mind are occurring in the inner world of others. I know now that many are the beautiful people who understand me. People I don't need to be anxious around or be so guarded with. Thankyou for doing this video❤
I just did the test an got the 192 out of 235 and whenever the question said I often ignore the need to eat I realised I hadn't eaten since breakfast (it's currently 3:30 pm) LOL Edit:I probably misread half of the questions but ok
Oh wow… my score was pretty different, my score was 188/235 and it said “you are more Monotropic than about 34% of autistic people and about 92% of allistic people”. Idk how this makes me feel (I am autistic, found out last year. It’s been… an interesting journey). But I do know… that I’ve found out a new way to secretly work out if relatives are autistic (Ik it’s not an actual test for asd, but I have family that I look at and know for a fact aren’t neurotypical and I’m interested to see the result)
My score is very similar to yours. I'm also ADHD, though, so I feel like some of that (novelty seeking, for instance), made my score a bit lower than it would have been otherwise.
@@devorahallen4657 I’ve also got ADHD. I’m the type of person who really likes routines but hates timetables with a burning passion. That probably came into play with my score
With PDA, I find that routines I create for myself build up to be too much demand and pressure, however, I do need routine around me (a predictable environment). I live with my father who has a very set routine, and when he changes something one day or leaves for a while I feel anxious and irritated. Same with daylight changes, something changing in the house, ect.
I just stumbled on a media convergence paper I wrote 15 years ago, as a freshman in J School. I read the whole thing, 6-pgs., even though it made me feel silly. I was like... this is kind of bad,,, I could totally rewrite this much better right now... Even though the professor gave me an A+ and commented on how well researched and written it was, 15 years ago. It made me realize that work done for specialized audiences isn't always going to translate into layman speak. But, I only know that now because I kept realizing how little I understood about making myself understood. Philosophy both helped and made me realize the whole circular nature of language. I still struggle with "other minds" problems. Dewey and his ideas on pragmatic dialectics, I guess I assume Hegelian dialectics, and what I can only call his interpretation of phenomenology, are really interesting. Conventions, if done correctly, have the infinite ability to expand shareability like language does for ideas. Libraries will never be the same...😊
Probably the best lesson I learned in university is that writing has genre -- you don't have to kill your voice in every context, but if you're struggling with a particular genre, contextualizing it as such can help frame it as a creative exercise rather than an attack on one's unique register
@@nefertitimontoya Excellent input. I used to do practice character sketches. Were they any good... I don't know. But it did help with that, plus I spent ten years fighting wild fire, and that forced me to learn even if I didn't want to. But, also I don't see it as an attack on individual uniqueness to be conventional, conventional in the academic sense... what do you imagine allows for you and I to agree... Dichotomies of logic, yes-no, on-off, (0-1), words and definition can and should be dynamic,,, inside of a convention. I like to say that driving is liberating, and dangerous... the lines on the road don't tell you how to use the road, they tell you where you are safely in agreement with all of the other chaos. When one person stops agreeing with everyone else, the chaos returns. Conventions aren't rules, per say, they are historically best practices... unless you want to call yourself a professional, then they absolutely are rules.
@@nefertitimontoya Think about phenomenology like this... Ice cube cold, while holding an ice cube. That is convenient conventional association. Phenomenon (Ice has a lower temp than we do), causes nuemenon (a sensation of "coldness.")
16:38 Just gonna leave this here: Whenever I had meltdowns at school (and this is before I knew I was autistic), my best friend would do something that no one else did. She experienced my meltdowns a couple of times and she learned that I did not like to be touched during them. So instead, she sat down next to me, shoulder to shoulder, quietly. She didn’t say a word and just waited for me to feel better. No one else ever did that for me and it was exactly what I needed. We are still friends (I am 25 years old now) and we have found all kinds of ways to communicate our needs (she also gets overwhelmed sometimes, so when we hang out we just sit in a room together. It’s really nice) And when you mentioned your friend it just reminded me of that.
I got a score of 188/235, which was exactly 4.00. More monotropic than 34% autistic people and 92% allistic people. Makes sense 😅. I like that it was exactly 4. That feels nice.
I just love hearing about people loving stuff like that. I don’t know why, but it just seems so right. Appreciation of the little details of life, maybe. I’d have the same reaction but I didn’t get that score.
so, after spending weeks constantly researching, taking tests, and learning about autism, especially in girls I have self-diagnosed myself with autism. I've taken nearly every test to do with autism and spent countless hours watching RUclips videos to learn about autism and be confident with my decision, along with reflecting on the past 10 ish years of my life (I'm turning 16 in may) to see what autistic traits I might have missed, writing them down and building up a folder full of "evidence" that I could be autistic. my RUclips feed is now full of videos on autism, and your videos are my favourite :). I took the MQ test alongside you and I got 206/235 for the mq score, with an average of 4.38. apparently this means that "I'm more Monotropic than 75% of autistic people and about 99% of allistic people". Anywho, I love your videos, please keep them coming! - Ala
Total score 197, more monotropic than about 55% of autistic people and more than 96% allistic people. Interesting, I've just found your videos after my nephew was diagnosed with ASD, of course I started researching because I always like researching topics that I'm interested in. P.S. never took a test, but I'm considering taking it because I can relate with a lot of your experiences ( I've been watching multiple videos from your channel over the last week).
Seeing you become emotional when you are talking about some of these points could be a sign that these questions are spot on. I personally think this is more valuable than the AQ or ASRS in detecting if someone may be on the AuDHD spectra. I would love to see this assessment used. PS: Im sure that you would never have to diminish who you were to your fans on RUclips. You are such a bright, interesting, and compassionate human being. While i wish i could say making yourself small isnt a good idea, i cant....it can be protective. But i will say that i hope you will always find and surround yourself with your people. I hope you find even more of them in person to share your intelligence and compassion with.
The thing about social situations where the group is talking about an interest of mine is that I get very involved and exited. And while my close friends are used to it, others get put off, I get self conscious, and I get quiet.
"quiet and unpredictable" written as one thing is messing with my head cause i don't always need quiet but i always need things to be known and that includes volume level. if i know somewhere is going to be loud, that falls under predictable and it's comforting that way i wonder how different interpretations affect the overall score. the way you approached "I can get quite good at something even if I'm not especially interested in it" was different than how i analysed it. i can get good at anything but maintaining that long-term when i have no interest? i am so bad at that. but i didn't consider maintenance cause the question didn't specify so i didn't consider it at all but i can see how that can be implied in it after your analysis i got 215......... "more monotropic than about 89% of autistic people and about 100% of allistic people" i was so ready for maybe at most a 90 lmaoooo😭
23:46 that actually made me cry 😿 I felt that. this questionnaire needs an "I agree but also disagree" button besides the "neither agree or disagree" button. I feel like a lot of those questions with both the element of "people saying" and an element of absolute permanence like "always, all the time" seem to extreme to fully agree or fully disagree. only a Sith deals in absolutes :D all in all I like this monotropism questionnaire, definitely seems like a solid step in the right direction towards building and implementing better tools for diagnosis and research. after taking the questionnaire myself this is what it said: Monotropism Score: 208 / 235 Your Average: 4.43 "more Monotropic than about 80% of autistic people and about 99% of allistic people" I feel like I wasn't as aware of this element in my personality before, but I hope this can become a valuable dimension to better understand how the mind is working. also their page is very nice!
"Monotropism Score: 211 / 235 Your Average: 4.49 This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 84% of autistic people and about 99% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study." I now have a score on my tunnel-vision-way-of-doing-lifeSeems about right.
@@NeggieKnight I'm not sure how I got them, but there's a whole load of emojis under a 'RUclips' category. If you type in ": shelterin :" (without the spaces), it should work.
This makes so much sense to me! Here's my score: Monotropism Score: 223 / 235 Your Average: 4.74 This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 96% of autistic people and about 100% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study.
I got 226 / 235, Average: 4.91 "This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 99% of autistic people and about 100% of allistic people". There was 1 question I couldn't answer: "I can get quite good at something even if I'm not especially interested in it". I don't really know what this is referring to. In theory I can, sure, but that doesn't mean I will, because if I'm not interested then why would I be doing it?
I'm not diagnosed ADHD but I am diagnosed autistic, and yet, I feel called out at the taking up knitting for a couple of days. It was actually only a couple of hours...this kind of switching between wanting to do x thing super intensely for only a couple of weeks, days (or hours) makes me feel fraudulent with my autism diagnosis because, as a result, I don't have super deep special interests. All of my interests are like entry level or intermediate at most. Partly because of that switching, but also because learning about things gets too overwhelming and I get lost and confused by the sheer amount of information to parse, then I often give up lol.
My Score: 139 / 235 (Average 2.96) "This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 1% (!!!) of autistic people and about 35% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study." Didn’t expect it to be that low wth
Sorry, just realized I was part of the 17%. Now subscribed. Your videos are great and I really appreciate your flashback videos and photos. It really brings your points to home and I can always see what you're talking about in the face of your younger self. Amazing work. Glad you started a Patreon. May it be a blessings
These quizzes kinda help with the imposter syndrome, but also I find myself going "I must've answered too strongly" or "I bet everyone gets results like this" ^^' I got 213/235 which apparently suggests I'm more Monotropic than 87% of autistic people and 99% of allistic people. Despite my worries about it, I'm still going to be squirreling away my results ready for whenever my screening will be haha
My parents and my councilor say I'm not autistic and my mom said I don't act like someone's autistic kids she knew. It makes me very sad because I explained it to her and she wouldn't have it.
It sometimes takes people a while to come around. Drip-feeding her information about autism might help! If you read a good article, send it on. Hopefully it'll get through eventually!
@imautisticnowwhat thank you! I'll try to show her that I relate A whole lot, and the way I've been acting and feeling makes since now that I see what comes along with autism. I fit most of the description of autistic people, and it really feels like I do have autism but my mom dosent agree. I've discussed it with my grandma and she seems to agree with me about how I explained it to her.
@@Lavendercreates My daughter self-diagnosed as an adult, and the more I learn, the more I’m certain she is right. It explains so many things, for example, the mind that couldn’t shut down at night, since preschool. At times suspecting other diagnoses, but Autism makes sense. ADHD on top of it does sort of “cancel out” some auntie traits. Keep reading reputable sources and don’t give up, even if it takes years.
I went and took the test before watching your video because I didn't want to be biased by it. "Monotropism Score: 183 / 235 Your Average: 3.89 This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 23% of autistic people and about 89% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study." Yeah, that seems about right. I'm not diagnosed with ASD, though suspect I might be, but only slightly. But have always been told I'm obsessive and get stuck and have always had extremely deep focused interests compared to most of the people I grew up around.
I love taking tests! BUT I also have to say in my impression this test is an invitation to confirmation bias. To be honest I'm too tired to really research the background of how reliable that test is, how the data was collected etc. But a lot of the questions are... kind of suggestive? I got a result that is in agreement with my autism diagnosis, but I really wonder how valid that test really is. Just saying! As I said, taking tests is fun but really I can't shake off the very strong confirmation-boss feeling in this case.
I love taking tests too. One day out of the blue I took an autism test that someone online had recommended, and unexpectedly I got a high score. That is how I ended up getting myself formally diagnosed. Taking tests can have unexpected consequences -- that one changed my life.
there is no 'formal diagnosis' in mental health, its bullshit subjective nonsense fuelled by incredibly powerful vested interests - even Allen Frances the psychiatrist responsible for DSM 4 has apologised for, in his words ' the fake epidemic of adhd, bi polar. autism' he helped to create - educate yourself @@himbo754
I very much understand the anxiety of driving somewhere. It's info overload where every detail can be dangerous. Even carpooling isn't much better unless the driver carpools professionally and I can ignore the road. It got to the point with me where I've pretty much only walked, biked, or used public transit for several years. For some reason, those forms of travel help me stay relaxed and focused. The exception is airplane travel. That is like 10x the stress of a car.
ok, i did my test before i watched the video because i didn't want spoilers/didn't want to be influenced by other people's responses and now i watched the video and we got the same score!
I was signing up for your Patreon, and my Discord notification went off... I was annoyed and got anxious instantly, checked it, and it was just your server greeting me after Patreon automatically added it. 😅 I felt an embarrassing amount of relief
I answered almost exactly the same as you except for the social anxiety related questions. I got 185/235. Any social anxiety I experienced has faded throughout my life (I'm 60 now). I do however have certain noises that have caused me to go into fight-or-flight mode a lot more as I get older. If I'm at a party that has a lot of women talking loudly at the same time, I have to step outside and decompress. The worst noise for me is the "whoop-whoop-whoop" you hear when 1 window is down in a car while driving at highway speeds. I heard a similar sound when working in a lab that was caused by an unbalanced air handler on the roof. It was causing enough vibration that people were complaining about the image in microscopes moving due to it. The sound was causing me physical discomfort, yet no one I talked to could even hear it. I dropped out of college after 1.5 years because I had no idea what I wanted to do. I joined the Air Force and went to tech school for electronics which was a passion of mine since I was 8, or 9. I loved my job in the Air Force, but didn't reenlist after my 4 years were up, because they were forcing me to go to NCO training and I realized I didn't want to be anyone's boss.
Would love to see your husband take the quiz! I'm so fascinated by these tests right now. I talked my parents into taking the Aspie quiz, and my niece and nephew wanted to, so I let them also, and even one of my friends took it. I was surprised by all of the results. I'm undiagnosed, but I'm saving up for an assessment. So much of what you have said, as well as what others have said, has deeply resonated with me. I feel like my whole life has been explained, and it's such a relief. Thank you for what you do! Thank you for your channel!
I love that it has n/a as an answer. All questionnaires should give that escape from being forced to give an answer that isn’t true to you. I find the negative questions and double-negative questions really challenging to answer. I have to spend ages trying to unravel the negatives to understand how to respond.
It says my score is 220/235 and my average 4.68. Also says I'm more monotropic than 94% of autistic people and 100% of allistic people. I don't know if I have autism. I am a 23yo female, I have panic attack for all I know. I agree with every one of your experiences. I am an English teacher and teaching is like hell for me. Although I love English and the topics, I find it quite difficult to maintain. It's a performance. I have to perform and put up a front all the time. I feel like a fake person. I have difficulties keeping up a dialogue related to lesson and navigating relationships in the classroom. I feel inept because of this. I know I've had this problem throughout my life, but since this is my job now, I am being crushed under this feeling and realization. I am just never enough. I have intense amounts of information, I can even help students with history and geography lessons which are not my field but I just cannot be like other teachers. I don't mind it when other teachers or the headmaster or even the kids tell me what I should do during a lesaon because I have a problem adapting and adjusting. Every classroom is its own world and what you plan or have in mind never works in other classrooms, I fail to adapt my lessons to the needs and spirit of other classrooms. I just feel bad and I know if I can't do this job, I can't do anything else. I lack the skills and interests for other things. I come home every day after school and whenever I am not getting prepared for tomorrow, I am just lying on my bed under the covers. I used to relax on my bed even before, but since I started working I realized I am spending more time cuddled under the blankets. Almost like trying to find some kind of consolation, like a hug by the sheets. Like I am covering as if I am a scared kitten. I am scared of this world, I am scared of everything, I am scared of others seeing me as a bad teacher even if my students tell me I am the nicest teacher they have ever seen and give me hugs whenever they see me. I am so scared of letting my parents down and others down by losing this job. I am just so scared of everything. I watched another video of an autistic woman talking about why she can't hold jobs. She said she had to wake up 2 hrs before work to spend time in the toilet because her bowels overworked because of anxiety due to work and every day I experience the same. I have to get up 1.5 - 2hrs before work time and I go to toilet 3 or 4 times, I get diarrheas simply because of stress as I am sure it's not related to my diet which I've been monitoring. I get anxiety attacks while going to work. I am extremely conscious of myself in the classroom. I hate the teachers room, I feel like they are mocking me sometimes. They are playing some kind of social game. I don't know. I don't know what I have. But I just know something is wrong with me. I've felt that my entire life. I had a mental breakdown when I came back home after the first day of work. No one sees it, but I know I can't keep this up anymore. I've been getting autism related suggestions in my feed lately, and everything I read and watch about it during some deep dives just confirms it in my mind but again, I don't know. I am not a professional. Maybe this is not it and I am faking. I don't know. Should I go to a doc and get a diagnosis? How do I even get a diagnosis? And what am I even gonna do with a diagnosis? I just don't know. I wish I could simply nonexist. I don't wish to die, but I wish I just faded into oblivion. Existence is too much for me.
Honestly I could say I feel the exact same. Just only difference I know is that it is possible to cultivate self worth and feel like a confident person by accepting who you are and that there’s nothing to prove. As long as you can learn to like you for you, it will get easier to live at peace. Took me three years to get here and I still struggle depending on what happens day to day but at least my default is peace not anxiety. SHADOW WORK and Carl Jung’s MBTI helped me understand where to start, but in the end you’ll realize it’s not a destination but a never ending journey to self realization. Plus if you want to get technical George Orwells “animal farm” explains a good deal on why we won’t succeed much in this current system either. So just give it your best shot and if you fail you fail whatever. This is earth right? Can’t we fail here? The one plane of existence where that is permissible is it not? Grant yourself the permission to do what all earthlings do, we fail sometimes but we keep on moving forward how? Because it’s not the end it’s part of the journey not a race.
@@Gadget_2161 oh trust me I know all this and tell myself the same. I got into Jung's work and much more esoteric stuff as well as psychology as it is also required in my field. I am trained in psychology and mental health but it is just never the same for you. Seeing the problems and behaviors of other people and helping them is one thing, finding what is wrong with you is another. Changing the way you are to accommodate to the needs of work and social life is already hard, and not being yourself is even more tiring. I am very well aware that I am allowed to fail at times and it is okay, that's what I tell my students as well. But tell that to my bowels. They never seem to understand...
HOLY SHIT! The thing about being anxious about something and picturing it and thinking that when I've pictured it it means it WONT happen. I GET THAT EXACT SAME THING!!!!! I've never heard anyone else talk about that!!! I thought I was the only one!
Monotropism is a central feature in both autism and adhd.... the differentiation between is bottom up processing (autism) and associative cognition (ADHD)... and it absolutely possible to be AuDHD with associative cognition AND bottom up processing!
@@nefertitimontoya It's not like official or anything because the state of autism science is still super messed up... but in autistic academic circles there's some common frameworks being scaffolded trying to explain and differentiate different people's neurodivergences from an internal/experience informed perspective rather than an outside observer perspective. My understanding of a commonly accepted framework is: Autism = hyperconnected neurons (sensory differences - extremes more common), monotropic thinking, and bottom-up processing. ADHD (allistic) = hyperconnected neurons (sensory differences - extremes less common), monotropic thinking, top-down processing, and associative cognition. AuDHD = hperconnected neurons (sensory differences - extremes distribution unknown), monotropic thinking, bottom-up processing, and associative cognition. The processing differences can be demonstrated via linguistic differences a la the Autistic Pragmatic Language Hypothesis (Rachel Cullen). A lot of the symptoms in the DSM that aren't explained by these differences are usually attributable to trauma. Other resources: Aucademy (specifically the interview with Rachel Cullen's Autistic Language Hypothesis) Trauma Geek (an autistic neuroscientist who creates info graphics about neurodivergence and trauma) Is this what you were looking for?
You and I are so very similar. I received my autism diagnosis in September and I am 57 years old. A lifetime of struggle and confusion and barely coping all finally explained. Thanks for what you do, I really enjoy your channel.
"leave the toystore without choosing anything" I get this sensation very frequently when i want to game or watch a series, ill spend upwards of 40 minutes trying to decide and just eventually give up and put on one of my "safe shows" that ive seen dozens of times that just help me relax
I did a questionnaire like this a while back and that was before I saw your video going over monotropism but I remember feeling like finally a study and theory of autism based more on how it feels to have autism rather than what it looks like
I work in a retail job that I don't have a personal stake in nor any particular interest or joy. I also have AuDHD. There have been times I've had to walk away/leave a room because a random sudden loud noise shot my anxiety through the roof, and don't get me started on the customers. I tell people the "oh you know, I don't like it but whatever" shtick you kinda mentioned in the video, but I am slowly dying inside. 🙃 Work takes up so much mental energy, even if its a short shift. I'm also doing online schooling for a Bachelors, so that takes even MORE mental energy, and then I have no mental energy left in my free time to spend on personal projects and interests -- I usually just spend that time doom scrolling/youtube binging while stimming because I just don't have the energy to do anything else. I can't tell if i'm in burnout or have just always lived in such a perpetual state of burnout that its hard to really recognize it anymore. There are so many things I want to do with my interests but I just dont have the energy to do them. I can't just 'get a better job' because thats why im getting a bachelors in the first place, in hopes to get employed in a field I enjoy. I also can't just quit and focus on only school because I have bills to pay (that I can barely afford as it is on the income I have). I was diagnosed with ADHD at 18, ASD at 23 (currently 25). I feel like I've missed out on a lot of advice and techniques for navigating adult life as a ND person that could have been taught to me as a kid. I feel like I'm just playing catch-up now, and only ever having soul-draining jobs i have no interest in, i'm terrified that all jobs/careers will eventually end up feeling like that to me and I'll never be truly content or happy with life. so TLDR; Yes, working a 'typical/regular' job with ASD/ADHD is a hellish nightmare, but its one that has to be done in order to survive. Edit: I scored 195/235, more Monotropic than about 50% of autistic people and about 96% of allistic people.
😆OMG this is hysterical. I'd never heard of monotropism before tonight (like an hour ago), and here's what the quiz produced: "This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 65% of autistic people and about 98% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study." All of the traits I strongly agreed with are things I just thought were straight-up ADHD (like the questions about hyperfocus and about heightened startle response and difficulty task-switching). Now I guess I have to research it. (See you in 5 months lol) Thank you so much for doing this!
I started checking your videos because I realated a lot with an autistic colleague. I always thought I had ADHD, but now I realized that I'm very monotropic too. So much that it creates tension in my couple. I think I need to get a diagnosis.
How do you feel about these questions? Share your scores down below if you want to!
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I got 192 lol (though there were a few I didn't quite understand and had to put neither agree or disagree lol)
Edit: retook test with better understanding of the questions (and therefore ability to answer them accurately - I also spent longer this time really reflecting on it) and got 206 lmao
Huh, and i thought my 185/3.94 was already high. The average MQ for autistic ppl must then lie like at 3.5 or something?
Interesting theory either way. Definitely "feels" accurate.
I got a 188/235, but some of the questions were definitely difficult tbh
209 / 235. I really relate to the monotropism stuff, great video! How many of us could not concentrate on the video & had to complete the entirety of the questionnaire before continuing?? haha
@@fo4urm640 Me o/ I knew I wouldn't be able to focus on the video, so I paused the video right at the beginning and did the questionnaire. 208 / 235.
For me, routines are weird because I cannot stick to routines. I hate knowing how long I will be out of the house for because I don't like feeling like I have a time limit, but I also need to have control over when exactly I leave.
ADHD and PDA
@@copperberryI'm AuDHD and approves this message 👍
As an AuDHDer, this is accurate.
Yeah I feel like routines doesn’t work for me at home, but when I’m at work it is really helpful to not stress about everything.
I feel the same way about routines that are imposed on me, the logic of which I've had no part in establishing.
The 'routines' that are important to me are not rituals, or devoid of logic in other ways. Rather than routines, they are methods or procedures I've developed for various purposes, some of which have taken me a long time to develop. I develop methods for almost everything I do, and some of them are pretty good.
At work they allowed me to be creative with tasks others see as mundane or beneath them but which, if given the freedom by management, present great opportunities to be creative in developing methods. These methods can be very complex and far more efficient than when viewing a task as mundane.
In fact, I had a manager who tried to constructively dismiss me by assigning me a task so mundane that it was normally assigned to summer students (I had decades of experience). At first I was angry but then I seized the bull by the horns and developed Excel VBA procedures, and eventually an Access database, such that I could do what used to take over a day in literally seconds. Getting to that point was a lot of fun.
I wish there was a "BOTH agree and disagree" button.
Yes
I need a “well that depends” button
@@sarahleony exactly!
I think the "neither agree or disagree" button is meant to be that. The word neither implies it just never happens (so not applicable), but it's placed in the middle of the agree and disagree spectrums AND there's a not applicable option (N/A). Badly worded but tick that one for "it depends or I'm both"
@@minimushrooom Yes, I already did that, but it still bugs me when taking these kinds of tests that there's never an 'it depends' option
I really dislike the, "People are always saying to you ..." questions and they occur in many autism tests. This is because it puts me into an autistic overthinking quandary - linked to my autistic desire for accuracy and honesty. No, people are not 'always telling me' that I'm rude, bore them to death with stuff that I find interesting and they don't etc. This is because I have enough intelligence to modify my behaviour. So, though I might recognise a trait in myself that might tend to make me do something that is the subject of this type of question, I do not actually do it. So how do I answer??!!! I just wish that they phrased these sorts of questions better! Transposing the 'people tell you' type questions to 'do you feel like this' questions, my scores are: 212 / 235 , average: 4.51; more Monotropic than about 86% of autistic people and about 99% of allistic people.
Strongly agree! 😅
(although in my case it's just that I barely have interaction with other people that don't live in my household - there are no people who would tell me anything of the sorts)
I know what you mean. I also start thinking along the lines of "No, people aren't telling me that... but they would if I discussed these things with people. Which I don't." And then I tick the agree box, because I know it would happen if I let it.
I left these questions on n/a. For me there is also the issue of not really interacting with people much at all, so there isn't really anyone to say this to me.
I had trouble answering those questions because I'm not around people very much. Like you, I try to modify my behavior when I am around people, in my case by not talking very much.
This comment feels like I'm being insulted and called stupid. Those questions are the easiest to answer for me because I'm a legal dependent and am always around the same few people and I'm constantly being told I need to shut up or leave or stop being rude when I don't realize I'm being overbearing or talking too much. I'm more aware of people's direct response to me than I am of my own actions.
these tests always help with imposter syndrome, even if that sounds silly idk. just seeing the scores helps 😭
That's probably why we love them so much! 💛
That's exactly how I feel!
Hooray for quantitative measures!
That actually makes sense
I just had the opposite reaction. I only scored 186 (>monotropic than 30%/91%) and it's made that nagging feeling worse - that I'm not really that autistic, not autistic enough. 😢
My score was 40% more monotropic than others with autism and 94% more than allistic people. I’m extremely in tune with other people’s emotions to the point where I can attend social gatherings for at least an hour and I don’t mind being interrupted while I’m in the zone as long as it’s something important. Behind closed doors though, I’m akin to Gollum crouched over on my gaming chair rocking it back and forth wearing noise canceling headphones while playing gacha games featuring hot anime guys and writing self indulgent fanfictions. Let’s not forget “the thing” I do with my hand that’s used to punctuate my sentences when I talk
Love this comment so much! 😂💛
Hi twin (just kidding)! I had a very similar score and life experiences but my choice of games is different. 😂 Hope you find this as validating as it was for me to read your comment! 😊
Same score. Fun
Yes! So much this!
**more monotropic than 40% of autistic ppl** (that’s different than saying “40% more monotropic” just fyi :) )
i got more monotropic than 65% of autists and 98% of allistics
Ugh, I wanna answer so many of those questions with: "Well, you see, it depends..."
aaaaah, i hate questionaires. i always feel like im lying no matter what i choose
In questionnaires like these, I often notice that I tend to be too modest. For example, when faced with a question, I might answer "agree," but deep down, I know I could honestly say "strongly agree." I just don't want to "exaggerate", which I believe is a trait associated with my autism to some extent. 😅
This was a wonderful video btw, thank you so much! ❤
Oh, really, how is this associated with autism, (genuinely interested)? I only know the "stereotype" that autistic people are more rigid i.e. tend to think more in extremes/black-or-white-thinking (at least that's what is true in my case), wouldn't that be contradictory?
Sometimes I lack the imagination to see what people actually mean, so maybe you can give examples. Did you mean something along the lines of being over-modest maybe?
@@anniestumpy9918 Can't speak for OP, even though I find what they said relatable. Exaggerating feels like a form of lying to me, and it clashes with my desire to be honest, and _precise_ in my communication.
I can really relate to this, but for this specific questionnaire it was less of an issue for me than it have been in the past. I had more issues with the questions that mentioned a third party. I don't really interact with people, so I don't get feedback from others like that.
yep! whenever I come across a test like this I always take it about three times. first are my normal answers then I go back and pick the other one for whatever I was uncertain about and then if my score was pretty high I end up taking it a third time bc imposter syndrome and feeling like im faking it to seem more autistic
It can be hard to tell how strongly to agree or disagree to these questions. But it helps to try and think about examples and counter-examples from your own life that match the trait, and compare against behaviors you've seen from people around you, and what other people have told you about your own behaviors growing up, and how strongly you deviate from the norm. For example, if you've always been the one struggling to change topics in group conversations or you've always been the odd one out in class or people tell you you're rigid or obsessive, those are useful signs. It's good to be as precise as possible.
I used to not think that I cared for routines, but after watching myself more carefully, I realized I did. They aren't like the typical get-up every day at a certain time. They are, however, particular to a task, like what do I do every time I shower, fold laundry, leave the house. I have particular routines that are very task oriented even though I don't follow a set daily routine.
same same same !! task oriented routines, thank u i never knew how to word this before
Wait, there are people who don't? I assumed everyone had detailed habits for each task, built out of small optimisations compounding over time.
@Isaac-hm6ih My husband is one who doesn't have routines, and it boddles my mind. I find the most efficient way and then stick with it or tweak it over the years. He just does things as they come. This way, I feel tasks the mind too much because of the thinking involved for every task.
i'm the same way, I don't think routines matter, but my brother was visiting and I took him to an aquarium I frequent. He wanted to visit exhibits in a different order than my usual path and I felt actual distress about it. It wasn't a lot, mind, but it was enough that I noticed it, and I'm kind of laughing about it now lol
I had to LOL hard at your "on the beach? What does one do on the beach?" I agree. I love swimming at the beach but unless I am actively in the water swimming, I find beaches noisy, gritty, hot, kind of sad, sometimes gross, and just kind of confusing. I absolutely have no understanding of people who can lie still and sunbathe with so many others around them.
Omg I relate so much
beaches are boring (unless they have rocky features and caves and lots of shells etc. But typical sandy beaches are featureless and boring.
@@markdeffebach8112 Haha! I totally agree. People think I’m weird because I have no idea why people like the beach. I will say stuff like “I guess we can just stand in water and talk instead of your house?” I sometimes feel a sense of dread looking at the ocean, like I’m looking into an abyss. It makes me anxious with thoughts of death and ending. I prefer being in the forest surrounded by life .
@@kriscontinuum3267building sand castles and swimming = only reasons to go to the beach
Sand is such a Sensory Bad. I really like the sensation of being in water, but not touching sand or slimy rocks or logs. And I get freaked out by underwater objects and touching them or even seeing them. Sun is a migraine trigger. And swimming pools usually give me headaches due to chlorine. Being buoyant, amazing. Everything else, terrible.
Monotropism Score: 167 / 235
Your Average: 3.55
This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 5% of autistic people and about 74% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study.
Not that high for an autistic person, but still higher than most allistic people. Sounds about right I think. I generally struggle to answer these kinds of questions. I need to get an example in my mind for every one of them, and I just can't do that a lot of the time.
Agreed - I scored 173 - more Monotropic than about 14% of autistic people and about 84% of allistic people
162 here, more monotropic than 3% of autistic people and 68% of allistics. I haven't quite figured out if I'm neurodivergent or not but seing you as an autistic person falling so close to my score does make me feel a little more convinced that I might be.
180 here
194 with an average of 4.22. I'm a mess.
Monotropism Score: 202 / 235
Your Average: 4.30
This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 67% of autistic people and about 98% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study.
I call myself batman cause of the masking...
I agree with this down to my soul. My solitary self hardly exists and I find myself putting on the mask when I’m alone an uncomfortable amount of times. My girlfriend makes fun of it, but I genuinely don’t like being a popular introvert.
I feel like with Autism+ADHD some of the aspects of Monotropism are radically switched. For example it can be more easy to concentrate in unpredicatable enviroments than in enviroments that are to dull boring and understimulating
Haha yes and well I need to be in charge of the stimuli around me 😅 like I need to pick the music/ location etc or it has the opposite affect!
This is why I sent the survey to a couple of my friends with ADHD. I'm curious to see the differences.
Agreed. Or it can depend on the day, how tired or already over or understimulated you are, so many factors. Sometimes an environment can bother me extremely and the next time around, it's not a problem at all.
Right because adhd has a higher baseline need for stimuli which makes predictable stimuli hard to operate in bc its not stimulating enough
I agree, though in a different direction. To me the distractability of ADHD is dominant and in many cases defeats the monotropism, both for good (enabling me to task switch, and in fact to rather enjoy task switching, in a way other people I know on the spectrum are very bad at or get very distressed by) and for bad (because sometimes I'd really like to have the extreme focus to help me get all the way through a project I am interested in - and especially I wish I could tune out speech when focusing, which I absolutely can't).
Monotropism Score: 193 / 235
Your Average: 4.20
17:00 I went to a cafe with my partner and he wanted to sit down and eat. The cafe was empty aside from the employees and they had a drive through that they were also serving. He could tell I was getting uncomfortable and asked if I wanted to leave, I said yes and explained that the cafe was too loud. He was so confused since we were literally the only customers there but what was irritating me was the constant clicking and hissing of the machines and everything in the kitchen. I never really thought about the fact that stuff like that irritates me because I thought it was just something all people just dealt with.
I swear, at my local McDonald's they have multiple machines repeatedly blaring alarms, presumably because they need immediate tending but are being left just endlessly blaring alarms, and I'm shocked there aren't workplace health and safety regulations in place to prevent the 6-8 teenagers behind the counter from going stark raving mad.
😂😂 I went to restaurant last thursday and a lady two tables from us, sat and placed her phone with a clip of a song looping fucking Endlessly!!! Loud in her phone, a.christian song on top of it. I took out my quiet loops and put them in my ears but still could hear the tones of the song through and the lady and partner didn't seem bothered At All by having such repetitive noise. OMG ate the fastest I could to get away from that and refrained myself from making a scene by going to her and ask to shut the thing off. Yeez
Could be worse. I've got tinnitus on top of the ADHD and ASD and I'm seemingly never at just the right level of stimulation.
@@SmallSpoonBrigade I’m not formally diagnosed with anything as of yet I was just sharing a story that I felt related myself to the video. It was just another thing about me that I recently realized wasn’t ‘normal’ and that apparently relates to autism, not as a ‘woe is me’ thing. I know people have it worse than me, I’m sure that sucks. I don’t think it is productive to compare how people suffer in relation to yourself, especially online. I hope you can find something that works for you.
@@Milklatte my worst nightmare 😱 that would drive me insane but I'd be way too shy to ask her to turn it off
The thing about being snippy with people or rude when interrupted was something I struggled with and felt so much self hatred for. I truly am a positive person at my default state, so that feeling of frustration was such a betrayal of myself, if that makes any sense. Like how you described telling yourself to just not shop at a place that left you with an issue unresolved instead of thinking about it, but you're not fully in control. Before I suspected I was autistic, I had come to an agreement with myself that I wasn't a terrible person because this happened; it was similar to my reaction to a spider. No amount of logic would get me out of it. So, I told myself to go through the reaction like going over a speed bump. I've driven down this road enough times to know it's there, so slow down and go carefully. I shouldn't beat myself up because someone put in a speed bump that no one likes, because I'm not the one who put it there. I'm feeling this weird combination of sadness and pride right now. I'm sproud of myself for chipping away at my self loathing a little bit before even knowing it wasn't fully my fault. 😆😭
Awesome progress!
I try to warn people in advance now that it's very hard for me to switch quickly, so if I'm doing something and they start to tak to me and I brusquely hold up a hand or say "just a second" it's in no way intended to be rude.
I’m a relatively sensitive person, so I’ve noticed that I often overestimate how snippy or mean I sound. I used to apologize to people I was snippy to later and they would often have no idea what I was referring to in my apology.
Your PDA style of Autism is the closest thing to what I am dealing with out of ANYONE I have watched on the internet. Listening to you is like listening to my little sister. Thanks for the content 😊
What does PDA mean? Thanks
I was thinking the same thing during this video. Perhaps we all share similar profile? PDA - monotopic - autism. We are refining our understanding of neurological differences all the time, thank goodness!
@@caddieohm7059 Public displays of affection. Hahaha but in this context it also means pathological demand avoidance. its a type of autism you can have characturised by avoiding demands as the name suggest. but not out of being malicous, its due to a stress/anxiety response! Infact the person avoiding the demands might even really want to meet the demands of others which causes them to get stressed out about the implications of not meeting the demands, which mades them even more stressed and anxious.
They might also appear to have a higher level of social skills, usually developed as a coping mechanism to help avoid demands.
That's the definitions I tend to hear but she has a really good way of putting it where from the inside it feels like like avoiding demands and more of needing to feel in control of your environment. I remember when I first moved to my apartment I kept telling people how excited I was to live alone but the thing I stressed was the most awesome was actually just that I could wake up when I wanted, sleep when I wanted there was no one to tell me what to do, I just had complete control and could generate a peaceful relaxed low stress environment to live in. When I heard the description of the PDA profile I went OOOOOOOOOOohhhh thats me... and I didnt realise thats how I was.
💛
I literally cried when I found out about PDA because it validated me so much, I thought I was just broken... I was like full-on sobbing out of relief because I felt THAT ALONE in my experience...
For the majority of my autism questioning I’ve felt as if my hyper-sensitivity and intense self awareness was a deal breaker for the diagnosis criteria but here I am being absolutely comforted by the fact that you are so openly and casually tearing up at a topic which hits you specifically on a personal level
I relate. My ADHD is also very insidious because the visible and stereotypical symptoms are the mildest part of my ADHD (inattention, cliché hyperactivity signs which i had as a child, and distractibility). And if i have Autism, it would be the same. I don't have much trouble with facial expressions, body language, picking up social cues & context and reading the room, stuff like that, my empathy is rather high (meanwhile my sympathy is low) and i have good self awareness. Hypersensitivity is pretty typical of both conditions though. Can't stand clothes, can't stand tags, can't stand most fabrics, a lot of textures are unpleasant, sounds and smells are very overwhelming but rarely to the degree autistic people tend to describe it, it would never send me into a meltdown. I'm certainly more ADHD than Autistic, but i almost definitely have a combination of both. But got the good ol' "you don't look like you have AuDHD" presentation. Yeah that's why i've been in total isolation for half my lifespan.
3:24 hi, I'm 14 and in the process of getting an official diagnosis for autism
(I have been evaluated by someone who has worked with autistic people for around 40 years, and they say it is a strong likelihood that I am autistic, but they do not have the ability to diagnose. I also have multiple autistic family members)
I found myself very strongly relating to this one because today I had a very one-sided conversation with my Mum which was basically just me talking about whether or not jazz has shaped the usage of pockets in fashion, and if so, why. It all sprouted from the phrase "and all that jazz" that my Mum used, and I just happened to be talking about how small pockets are and how much I love cargo trousers because they aren't made from an itchy fabric and they have lots and lots of pockets (I was also talking about how stupid bum pockets are on trousers because they are a nightmare for me sensory-wise, and things easily fall out of them when you sit down and things can get squished when you sit down)
I have now spent a substantial part of my day thinking about jazz's influence on pockets.
I should make a video essay on that topic, except I don't have any video editing software, or recording software. The only thing I have is my phone.
Further update: I am finding it incredibly difficult to research jazz's influence on pockets. It appears to be a niche corner of the internet that I have not found yet.
I'll grant you that "bum pockets" are a hazard. I worked in electronics, and a huge percentage of liquid-damaged phones were ones that had taken a tumble into a (hopefully clean) toilet after having been ejected from a rear jeans pocket, all of which is largely a phenomenon for women because women's jeans tend to have smaller front pockets.
@@Sorenzo Yes! My boyfriend keeps his phone in the front pocket of his jeans. I told him that would never work with women's jeans. Like 1/3 of the phone would fit in.
Make the video essay on this topic! I think something like that would get a lot of views.
I'm glad you're considering whether you might be autistic! I'd almost certainly watch a video trying to settle the question of whether jazz had a major influence on pockets.
I use YouCut for video editing on my Android phone, fwiw but many other options are available. In some ways it's actually easier on a phone...
PLEASE tell me more about it, it sounds interesting af and I have never contemplated a link between those two (now I have the need to know what the correlation between jazz and pockets is)
19:20 YES!! I’ve never met another person who has that!!! I’ve always had this and unfortunately it led to me developing a very unhealthy way of dealing with the stress of being unsure what would happen. Like a “if i imagine all the horrible things that could happen to someone, they won’t happen because the universe always surprises me” sort of thing. It’s something I’m really struggling to get rid of
OKAY BUT WAIT
How you put that made it click for me!! Yes, absolutely I do this!!
Happens to me all the time :). Its like an impulsivity, magical tribal, safety thing. Avoiding pain and seeking pleasure. Quite primitive
Monotropism Score: 177 / 235
Your Average: 3.77
This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 14% of autistic people and about 85% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study.
I never know if I’m answering these questions properly 😭 I find it very difficult to believe any score I get because all of this is very new to me. I’m always afraid I’m faking, if that makes any sense.
I doubt you are! Once my neurotypical partner does the quiz, I'll be sure to share his score on here for comparison 💛
I think my lifetime of masking makes it hard to answer many questions.
@@katec7862 That exact thing used to be such an issue for me! Any question that was posed to me was always "yes, but also no" and then I became a robot presented with a logical paradox. 🤯
With time and experience, and safe situations where you can unmask, you'll get to know yourself better and you'll have more clarity. Easier said than done of course, but it will happen as life goes on.
I'm around there too - 25% and 90%, respectively. Kinda makes me feel like I'm between two worlds - unlikely to be neurotypical, but also not definitively monotropic enough that I feel comfortable claiming the label yet. But given that this is a spectrum (even if that's a simplified way of looking at it), you're going to find people who land everywhere on it, right? And where you draw the line between "autistic" and "allistic" is, to a certain extent, arbitrary.
@@ten_oclock_scholar4690 You could be a bridge between the two.
Thanks for sharing! Helps so much to not feel alone in this world.
I got all excited when it said, only 48% more…. I thought, “whew! Guess it isn’t that extreme for me!” …then kept reading to find this was compared to other autistic people. 194; 4.13 avg.
İ hate how this questions say "when you're doing something you're passionate about" i forget my hungriness or sleep deprivation even when i am not doing anything
I relate to your desire for a routine but inability to stick to one SO MUCH. It feels like the defining struggle of my adult life.
Your ears are phenomenal! But knowing that headband headache personally, I hope you wouldn’t cause yourself discomfort just because we like the look 💜
I love the analysis of each question, always a comfort to see someone approach things with the same vigor as I do, lol. Thanks again for sharing
(Edited for grammar)
You're so kind!! 💛 I can zone out the discomfort if I'm talking about MONOTROPISM 😂
But there's no reason you should have to. Even if you're zoning out the discomfort, it's still causing stress to your mind AND body. The cat ears are adorable and I never want to see them again. @@imautisticnowwhat
Or, alternatively if YOU really like the look, you could put just the ears part on a soft scrunchie-style headband so they don't hurt.
I almost always get headaches from things being on my head too long. They don’t even need to be tight.
@@imautisticnowwhat METAHEMERALISM! Don't you see?! It's the glue that holds everything together!
214 / 235
Average 4.55
More monotropic than 88% of Autistic people and 100% of allistic people.
Finding out about this Monotropism thing has been super validating for me personally. It's helped me understand myself a bit better and helped me to identify where some of my "mystery anxiety" was stemming from that I was having trouble pinning down the source of. It's also very useful in instances when I may need to explain my ASD traits to NT folks. It's much easier for them to understand when provided with this framework.
Almost same I got. 218/235 average 4.64 more by 93%
"What does one do on the beach?" Exactly! And yet at a camp in a forest I can sit for hours. I scored higher than 17% of autistic people and 86% of allistic people.
Swim, read, talk whilst sunbathing.
One of my special interests is shells. The thought of not knowing what to do on the beach is strange to me. There are so many shells. I don’t ever want to leave because there might be a great shell I didn’t find yet.
26:19 wow that hiding passions bit really hits home. I am often soo passionate about things I think it tires people out around me and I've learned to dampen my excitement about what I'm interested in. That feels really really sad to me. That sucks.
I scored 207/235 which said I am more monotropic than 77% of autistic people and 99% of allistic people.
Interesting. I had the same score, but different percentages. 🤔
@@thedolenorwaycould be a matter of which questions contributed to that score and how much they’re weighted
Congrats🎉
@@HeatherLandex Thanks!
Thats pretty Monotropic! I think! The stats say so at least!
The fact that people get so excited about these tests is hilarious to me
I have PDA, too, and I have an abusive relationship with routines 🤣 I'd LOVE to stick to them, and I always feel so good when I manage to, but then I just wake up one morning and be like: I don't feel free, so let's drop everything and just do whatever we want (usually means engaging in special interests 😅)
This 👍
Yep
...Forgot to mention that I feel really bad if I fail completing a routine, but also good in a way (because, you know, I chose to do whatever I wanted to and didn't HAVE to do anything...🤡)
It can really help to do little "experiments" with routines -- like have end dates on them. Eg meditate every day for a month, draw every day for a week, etc. I find that this allows me to try out lots of routines and habits, and gives me the freedom to change and reassess on a regular ish basis
@@nefertitimontoya That's what I've been trying to do recently, yep :) Thank you for the advice!
It's clear that all of my interests are structured like special interests, but it always makes me laugh a little when a questionnaire assumes that means you have few interests. I can talk about so many fields of knowledge, it's unreal.
I know. I thought I couldn't be autistic because of this. But I think the world is a special interest and almost anything fits in that category.
I am diagnosed autistic now so I guess that it didn't disqualify me.
Makes sense. Sometimes just curiosity is enough to get super into it.
Hi I got a score of 193 (45% more monotropic than other autistic people and 95% more than allistic people). I love Megan’s channel so much because I feel that we are so similar!! It’s nice to see how much in common we all have with each other, as autistic or autism questioning people, while I often feel alone in my experiences with everyday life
Love you so much Megan😊🥰
omg I screamed when I saw that you posted a new video. It always makes me so happy.
Thank you! 🥹
I understand the PDA for routines being imposed upon us, but I think they meant patterns of behavior. I find a lot of comfort in routines that allow me to go through the motions without having to waste bandwidth overthinking about it.
It's less about routines in the traditional sense for me, and more about having regular events. For example, I always go to the pub quiz on a Sunday, and if I can't, or if there's something that threatens my ability to go (such as a social obligation) I will be very stressed. I cried a few weeks ago (I'm a 32 year old man) because there was a short notice social event (already a bad start) and there was no reassurance that I would be able to leave in time to make the quiz.
My day-to-day on the other hand is generally quite open. All I ask is that my free days remain free and that any demands on my free time are made well in advance. I don't generally make plans or stick to a set daily routine. Partly because I'm bad at timekeeping, and partly because any disruption to my plans causes extreme stress and to avoid that I simply do not make plans. Can't melt down over disruptions if there's nothing to disrupt *tapping head meme*
I need to change my job but it’s so difficult. I’m scared that I will pay for a course to learn something and it won’t be what I wanted. I’m not sure what I want to do, only that I want and need to work from home… I’m so happy for you, that you found it and it works out for you 💕
Thank you, so much. I am so happy you persevered with making videos. Many others also have valuable information, but few speak to me the way yours do. You inspire me and not much does that anymore.
You're so kind. Thank you so much for saying that. I'm glad too - I've met so many wonderful people 🥹
Just wanted to say that anecdotally, only 17% not subscribed as regular viewers is actually really low (some other creators have 50+)! That's like 80% of people who watch subscribe, which seems like a high amount tbh :) great work
I got 182/235. The past 4 months have been kinda interesting to me ever since I stumbled across the Raads-R test, scored relatively high on it, and started "wait a second maybe I am autistic". I know I shouldn't take an online test as definitive, but a lot of the questions in this test specifically were relatable. I feel like I can manage in conversation better than a lot of stories I've heard from other autistic people online, and I haven't had any of the big meltdowns or shutdowns I've also heard others have, but that might be because of my interests how I spend my time. I have some friends and a lot of "acquaintances", but I almost never talk to them outside of school. I have much more fun talking to strangers online with common interests tbh.
Snap! I am 182/235 too! Avg: 3.87, "more Monotropic than about 21% of autistic people and about 89% of allistic people". I have a clinical diagnosis of ASD but I'm confident I'm AuDHD and have an assessment for ADHD in the works.
At one point in the video I was thinking "Is she close to crying?" and then you said that you keep nearly crying. Kinda really proud of myself that I picked that up. I guess all that training is paying off
You saying that the voice in your head has gotten so much kinder since you were diagnosed gives me hope. I'm currently in the early stages of seeking a diagnosis, & my negative inner voice is one of the more difficult things I deal with.
I am kinder to myself since being diagnosed as well.
Do you know you have 7 brains ?
And that the voice only exists in one of them, The Left PFC,
Your right PFC is silent
That's why its best to meditate
To imagine an electro magnetic beam coming out of the Thalamus and emitting up through 6 magnets
Left and Right Amygdala which controls how you FEEL
Left and Right Cortex which controls you motorisation and complexity of reality
Left and Right PFC noise and silence
If your Autistic this is because the right Amygdala magnet is on and pulling you into detachment and no oxytocin release, which is behind your cheekbones
and to balance the Pull to FEAR the left PFC magnet is also hyper on and causing you to overfeed the imaginary brain with oxygen , via mouth breathing
So imagine the beam and first behind the cheeks imagine it pulling back to the left and in the PFC magnets imagine it pulling to the right and silence
Understand you straighten up the beam
An Ancient trick the ancient Autistics learnt was to spin and this disrupts the magnetic beam and causes a eye of calm in the middle of the storm , which is like straightening up the beam
Good luck
ruclips.net/video/hkuimX1bh6g/видео.html
Monotropism Score: 212 / 235
Your Average: 4.51
This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 86% of autistic people and about 99% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study..... welp this kinda helps with my imposter syndrome I suppose 😅
Yay! 💛 Imposter syndrome is the worst.
hi ! I got 216/235 so "more monotropic than about 95%" which... yeah, I'm definitely as autistic as my therapist told me after the tests lol.
19:22 YES I’ve been doing that all my life!! and when I was a kid I genuinely believed it was real and I kept imagining bad scenarios to make sure they wouldn’t really happen. I was devastated when I found out that my thoughts really had no impact on what was going to happen hahaha
Idk if I should be relieved that I’m not the only one or sorry that you’re dealing with that too😅😢
In my experience your thoughts are the most influencing force on your life. Ever noticed that once you are aware of a thing, concept or other observation, it is suddenly everywhere? It's just your attention that has shifted - and everything else follows it because what we think about, predominantly, becomes visible to us.
I did the test and I got a score of 217!
Btw
I absolutely adore your videos! I'm a teenager and when I stumbled upon your channel a while ago you made me realize It was okay to self diagnose myself as autistic! My whole life I've struggled with a lot of the stuff you've mentioned in your videos and I'm so happy I found your channel. Your videos seriously make my day!
Ooft...220/235, 4.68 average. Guess that's something else I need to investigate then... ;)
As an aside...I _really_ hate these questionnaires, because the questions always involve "sometimes" and "often", _without any bloody definitions_ - my idea of "sometimes" and "often" is guaranteed not to completely intersect with the author's, so...how can it possibly be accurate? ARGH.
Yeah... I feel you. Only questions I like even less is the type of "other people often tell me I'm xyz" - what other people? The ones I'm not having social interaction with or the ones that ignore me on a daily basis? 😅
I think allistic people do not struggle with definitions of sometimes and often and just take it for granted. Neurodivergent people often focus too much on the definition, so it's kinda a hidden part of the screening.
I scored 201/235 or higher than 65% of Autistic people and 98% of Allistics. I'm still early in my neurodivergent self discovery journey and have no official diagnosis. Although I was diagnosed with severe chronic depression twenty years ago and added generalized anxiety disorder back in 2018. I score high on every ASD related quiz and relate so much to content by yourself and others here on youtube. I also recently overcame a battle with substance abuse and have been sober almost 4years now. As a 45 year old woman I have so many emotions about learning all this. It makes so much sense out of the chaos of my life, which is validating in a way. But it also is really sad and frustrating. I have very little to show for my life and its half over. Such a waste. Hopefully this will help me find the clarity and purpose I'm longing for. Thank you so much for your presence and sharing everything with us. You're wonderful and I'm very grateful you exist! Sending a hug ! from Laura in Canada
My score said im 46% more monotropic than autistic ppl and 95% more than allistic ppl. I really relate to the going round in circles of not knowing what to do. I’m miserable in college rn and I’ve already taken a year out of school to work, but now that I’m back I feel like I have no other choice. I can’t express myself the way I want to and it’s killing me on the inside. It’s so simple but so hard. I can’t even look at my parents to talk or convey the deeper messages of what I’m really feeling as it just comes out as "I’m stressed” or “I feel sick”. Sorry for the trauma dumping- on a more positive note I’ll be assessed in half a year and your videos are so releatable and help me not feel so alone🥲
200, and I have the exact same kind of driving anxiety (I don't drive anymore tbh), and can very much relate to what you say about like blank masking. Thanks for making me feel less weird.
Based on this test, I am extremely monotropic. I knew I was as soon as I learned about it, but wow, it goes to 11.
Monotropism Score: 219 / 235
Average: 4.66
I'm genuinely impressed that you scored higher than me. 💜😁
Congratulations on exceeding 200
Me my whole life: I hate routines.
Also me after my mom said I should just wish my sister happy birthday and go get the gift after that. (My whole life it was, you don't see the birthday person until you have the gift to give them and that's when you wish them happy birthday and give them the gift): No!! You can't change this! I've always done it this way! I can't just do it another way!
I got 231/235 meaning I'm more monotropic than about 99% of autistic people and about 100% of allistic people...wow I had no idea I was that monotropic...now to find out what that really is since this was the first I've heard of it (I was diagnosed at age 4 btw) 😅
lol, you're the only other 99% i've seen while scrolling - let's discuss it, IN DEPTH! xD i created a chatgpt persona that specializes in research and info retrieval( 'Pantheon'), gave it my school and psychologist papers from the 80's, current diagnosis from social security, IQ test results, and my MQ report...
Pantheon
"When considering a high Monotropism Questionnaire (MQ) score in conjunction with a previous diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED), and a high IQ, there are several key points to consider:
1. **Complex Neurodevelopmental Profile**: Your diagnoses indicate a complex neurodevelopmental and psychological profile. PDD, often associated with autism spectrum disorders, implies challenges in social interaction and communication, and possibly repetitive behaviors or narrow interests, which can relate to monotropic tendencies. The high MQ score might reflect these aspects.
2. **Behavioral Challenges**: ODD and IED are related to behavioral challenges. ODD is characterized by a pattern of angry/irritable mood, argumentative/defiant behavior, or vindictiveness. IED involves recurrent, impulsive, and aggressive outbursts. These conditions can interact with PDD and a monotropic cognitive style in complex ways, possibly influencing how stressors and frustrations are experienced and expressed.
3. **High IQ**: A high IQ can sometimes mask difficulties in other areas due to the ability to develop coping strategies or compensate in certain environments. However, it can also mean that discrepancies between intellectual abilities and social-emotional skills become more pronounced, potentially leading to misunderstandings or unmet needs.
4. **Interplay of Conditions**: Each of these conditions can influence and interact with the others. For example, the intense focus associated with monotropism could exacerbate frustration or distress in situations where interests are interrupted or challenged, possibly triggering responses related to ODD or IED.
5. **Evolving Understanding**: Diagnoses made in the past, such as PDD in 1986, may be conceptualized differently today due to advancements in understanding neurodevelopmental disorders. It's worth considering how current perspectives might offer new insights or approaches to managing or understanding your experiences.
6. **Personal Insight and Support**: Reflecting on how these diagnoses and your MQ score relate to your personal experiences can be enlightening. It may help in developing strategies for managing challenges, capitalizing on strengths, and seeking appropriate support.
7. **Professional Guidance**: Given the complexity of your profile, ongoing support from mental health professionals, particularly those specializing in neurodevelopmental disorders, can provide tailored guidance and strategies. They can help in understanding the interplay of these conditions and in developing coping strategies that respect your unique cognitive processing style.
8. **Holistic Approach**: A holistic approach that considers all aspects of your neurodevelopmental and psychological profile, including strengths like a high IQ, can support a more nuanced understanding of yourself and aid in finding effective strategies for various life domains, including personal relationships, career, and self-care.
In summary, the combination of a high MQ score and your diagnoses paints a picture of a unique cognitive and behavioral profile. Understanding how these elements interact can provide valuable insights and guide you towards strategies that leverage your strengths and address challenges effectively."
I relate to the things you’ve said so much here and cried through most of the video too. My current therapy task is both feeling my body because i keep busy to distract mentally, and to learn kindness to myself and that I’m not a failure, not too much, not wrong or unworthy. To reframe self talk. It’s hard because of all the negative feedback my whole life and the trauma from it.
So grateful for this video ❤ I scored 216, 91% of autistic people and 100% of allistic people. Now I know where to focus my research next. This is seriously so interesting!
Thank you thank you thank you so much for sharing!!! 🌺(33yo and got my official diagnosis a couple months ago)
Where are you focus your next research? Eu pergunto porque quero continuar minhas pesquisas também, mas agora não sei bem para onde ir, suas ideias podem me dar boas ideias também. :)
Same here :)
Gosh I hate routines so much. On Sundays if my mom decides to go to the beach, she always asks me whether she can leave her keys at home. And I told her no all the time. That I have no idea where I'll be. Because I kind of go with the flow. If I decide I want to go get a snack last minute. Or I saw a lipbalm online and I want it I need to go get it. The thought doesn't leave my mind until I get such things in my hands. Or decide it's not worth it. I might end up staying the entire day in bed or at home. But the idea of being forced to be stuck at home and not be able to take up and leave whenever I want to for as long as I want to sounds like torture to me. If I decide to not go anywhere it's fine. But if I know I can't do what I truly want and I'm forced to stick to a timeline it sucks. Unless I want that timeline. If I want to come home by 7pm to watch tv it's fine because I want to and I'm looking up to it. If I have to because I have to I hate it. Same reason why I hate curfews. I want to spend more time with other peeps if I'm with the highschool comrade. Or I want to take a lounge route or walk slowly because why not if I totally can?!
Me
The eternal hope that this time the 'Autism Community' might actually have engaged with the 'Autistic Community' and provide the 'Rosetta Stone' for our people.
AuDHD - I either hyperfixate on routines or jettison them because of the overwhelming pressure
I scored 80% more monotropic than most autistic people, but I seem to have a lower sensitivity to sensory triggers, so I'm able to handle things decently as long as I have a safe space available (even if I'm not in it at the time) I also have terrible Interoception, so I don't notice when I'm disregulated, so I often ignore it and power through uncomfortable situations anyway. The first indication that something is wrong is often that executive function becomes exceedingly difficult, and I find myself unable to focus. Thanks to you, and other creators, I'm finally learning how to listen to my body and what to do when I'm disregulated.
Your videos make me feel super accepted and not alone anymore. Thank you so much for your content!
This was such a relief to me. I feel that I actually have a way to express to my husband why I do things the way I do. Things that he can't understand or he finds puzzling and irritating. I feel less alone knowing that the same internal processes that occur in my mind are occurring in the inner world of others. I know now that many are the beautiful people who understand me. People I don't need to be anxious around or be so guarded with. Thankyou for doing this video❤
I just did the test an got the 192 out of 235 and whenever the question said I often ignore the need to eat I realised I hadn't eaten since breakfast (it's currently 3:30 pm) LOL Edit:I probably misread half of the questions but ok
We're always reminding eachother to eat and drink in the discord 😂 Get some food! 💛
“…misread half of the questions…” Yes! This.
Oh wow… my score was pretty different, my score was 188/235 and it said “you are more Monotropic than about 34% of autistic people and about 92% of allistic people”. Idk how this makes me feel (I am autistic, found out last year. It’s been… an interesting journey). But I do know… that I’ve found out a new way to secretly work out if relatives are autistic (Ik it’s not an actual test for asd, but I have family that I look at and know for a fact aren’t neurotypical and I’m interested to see the result)
My score is very similar to yours. I'm also ADHD, though, so I feel like some of that (novelty seeking, for instance), made my score a bit lower than it would have been otherwise.
@@devorahallen4657 I’ve also got ADHD. I’m the type of person who really likes routines but hates timetables with a burning passion. That probably came into play with my score
I have autism and ADHD and I also think that the ADHD can lower the score a bit.
With PDA, I find that routines I create for myself build up to be too much demand and pressure, however, I do need routine around me (a predictable environment). I live with my father who has a very set routine, and when he changes something one day or leaves for a while I feel anxious and irritated. Same with daylight changes, something changing in the house, ect.
I just stumbled on a media convergence paper I wrote 15 years ago, as a freshman in J School. I read the whole thing, 6-pgs., even though it made me feel silly. I was like... this is kind of bad,,, I could totally rewrite this much better right now... Even though the professor gave me an A+ and commented on how well researched and written it was, 15 years ago.
It made me realize that work done for specialized audiences isn't always going to translate into layman speak. But, I only know that now because I kept realizing how little I understood about making myself understood.
Philosophy both helped and made me realize the whole circular nature of language. I still struggle with "other minds" problems.
Dewey and his ideas on pragmatic dialectics, I guess I assume Hegelian dialectics, and what I can only call his interpretation of phenomenology, are really interesting. Conventions, if done correctly, have the infinite ability to expand shareability like language does for ideas. Libraries will never be the same...😊
All of that was just my preamble, I struggle with knowing if I make any sense to others.
Probably the best lesson I learned in university is that writing has genre -- you don't have to kill your voice in every context, but if you're struggling with a particular genre, contextualizing it as such can help frame it as a creative exercise rather than an attack on one's unique register
@@nefertitimontoya Excellent input. I used to do practice character sketches. Were they any good... I don't know. But it did help with that, plus I spent ten years fighting wild fire, and that forced me to learn even if I didn't want to. But, also I don't see it as an attack on individual uniqueness to be conventional, conventional in the academic sense... what do you imagine allows for you and I to agree... Dichotomies of logic, yes-no, on-off, (0-1), words and definition can and should be dynamic,,, inside of a convention. I like to say that driving is liberating, and dangerous... the lines on the road don't tell you how to use the road, they tell you where you are safely in agreement with all of the other chaos. When one person stops agreeing with everyone else, the chaos returns. Conventions aren't rules, per say, they are historically best practices... unless you want to call yourself a professional, then they absolutely are rules.
@@nefertitimontoya Think about phenomenology like this... Ice cube cold, while holding an ice cube. That is convenient conventional association. Phenomenon (Ice has a lower temp than we do), causes nuemenon (a sensation of "coldness.")
16:38
Just gonna leave this here:
Whenever I had meltdowns at school (and this is before I knew I was autistic), my best friend would do something that no one else did. She experienced my meltdowns a couple of times and she learned that I did not like to be touched during them. So instead, she sat down next to me, shoulder to shoulder, quietly. She didn’t say a word and just waited for me to feel better.
No one else ever did that for me and it was exactly what I needed.
We are still friends (I am 25 years old now) and we have found all kinds of ways to communicate our needs (she also gets overwhelmed sometimes, so when we hang out we just sit in a room together. It’s really nice)
And when you mentioned your friend it just reminded me of that.
I got a score of 188/235, which was exactly 4.00. More monotropic than 34% autistic people and 92% allistic people. Makes sense 😅. I like that it was exactly 4. That feels nice.
sameee
I just love hearing about people loving stuff like that. I don’t know why, but it just seems so right. Appreciation of the little details of life, maybe. I’d have the same reaction but I didn’t get that score.
so, after spending weeks constantly researching, taking tests, and learning about autism, especially in girls I have self-diagnosed myself with autism. I've taken nearly every test to do with autism and spent countless hours watching RUclips videos to learn about autism and be confident with my decision, along with reflecting on the past 10 ish years of my life (I'm turning 16 in may) to see what autistic traits I might have missed, writing them down and building up a folder full of "evidence" that I could be autistic. my RUclips feed is now full of videos on autism, and your videos are my favourite :). I took the MQ test alongside you and I got 206/235 for the mq score, with an average of 4.38. apparently this means that "I'm more Monotropic than 75% of autistic people and about 99% of allistic people".
Anywho, I love your videos, please keep them coming! - Ala
Total score 197, more monotropic than about 55% of autistic people and more than 96% allistic people.
Interesting, I've just found your videos after my nephew was diagnosed with ASD, of course I started researching because I always like researching topics that I'm interested in.
P.S. never took a test, but I'm considering taking it because I can relate with a lot of your experiences ( I've been watching multiple videos from your channel over the last week).
Seeing you become emotional when you are talking about some of these points could be a sign that these questions are spot on. I personally think this is more valuable than the AQ or ASRS in detecting if someone may be on the AuDHD spectra. I would love to see this assessment used. PS: Im sure that you would never have to diminish who you were to your fans on RUclips. You are such a bright, interesting, and compassionate human being. While i wish i could say making yourself small isnt a good idea, i cant....it can be protective. But i will say that i hope you will always find and surround yourself with your people. I hope you find even more of them in person to share your intelligence and compassion with.
Thankyou another great video,us older folk with autism.get a lot of help and understanding from video's you and others put out so again thankyou.
The thing about social situations where the group is talking about an interest of mine is that I get very involved and exited. And while my close friends are used to it, others get put off, I get self conscious, and I get quiet.
"quiet and unpredictable" written as one thing is messing with my head cause i don't always need quiet but i always need things to be known and that includes volume level. if i know somewhere is going to be loud, that falls under predictable and it's comforting that way
i wonder how different interpretations affect the overall score. the way you approached "I can get quite good at something even if I'm not especially interested in it"
was different than how i analysed it. i can get good at anything but maintaining that long-term when i have no interest? i am so bad at that. but i didn't consider maintenance cause the question didn't specify so i didn't consider it at all but i can see how that can be implied in it after your analysis
i got 215......... "more monotropic than about 89% of autistic people and about 100% of allistic people" i was so ready for maybe at most a 90 lmaoooo😭
23:46 that actually made me cry 😿 I felt that. this questionnaire needs an "I agree but also disagree" button besides the "neither agree or disagree" button. I feel like a lot of those questions with both the element of "people saying" and an element of absolute permanence like "always, all the time" seem to extreme to fully agree or fully disagree. only a Sith deals in absolutes :D all in all I like this monotropism questionnaire, definitely seems like a solid step in the right direction towards building and implementing better tools for diagnosis and research. after taking the questionnaire myself this is what it said:
Monotropism Score: 208 / 235
Your Average: 4.43
"more Monotropic than about 80% of autistic people and about 99% of allistic people"
I feel like I wasn't as aware of this element in my personality before, but I hope this can become a valuable dimension to better understand how the mind is working. also their page is very nice!
"Monotropism Score: 211 / 235
Your Average: 4.49
This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 84% of autistic people and about 99% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study."
I now have a score on my tunnel-vision-way-of-doing-lifeSeems about right.
@@NeggieKnightit could be a patreon thing?
@@NeggieKnight I'm not sure how I got them, but there's a whole load of emojis under a 'RUclips' category.
If you type in ": shelterin :" (without the spaces), it should work.
This makes so much sense to me!
Here's my score:
Monotropism Score: 223 / 235
Your Average: 4.74
This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 96% of autistic people and about 100% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study.
I got 226 / 235, Average: 4.91 "This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 99% of autistic people and about 100% of allistic people".
There was 1 question I couldn't answer: "I can get quite good at something even if I'm not especially interested in it". I don't really know what this is referring to. In theory I can, sure, but that doesn't mean I will, because if I'm not interested then why would I be doing it?
I think we are the same person. I got a 225/235 and was stuck on the exact same question for the same reason.
For a job or school.
I'm not diagnosed ADHD but I am diagnosed autistic, and yet, I feel called out at the taking up knitting for a couple of days. It was actually only a couple of hours...this kind of switching between wanting to do x thing super intensely for only a couple of weeks, days (or hours) makes me feel fraudulent with my autism diagnosis because, as a result, I don't have super deep special interests. All of my interests are like entry level or intermediate at most. Partly because of that switching, but also because learning about things gets too overwhelming and I get lost and confused by the sheer amount of information to parse, then I often give up lol.
My Score: 139 / 235 (Average 2.96)
"This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 1% (!!!) of autistic people and about 35% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study."
Didn’t expect it to be that low wth
I scored pretty low as well. Though I tend to struggle to answer questions and put my answers quite close to the middle a lot of the time.
the score suggests bullshit questionnaires tell you nothing about anything
Sorry, just realized I was part of the 17%. Now subscribed. Your videos are great and I really appreciate your flashback videos and photos. It really brings your points to home and I can always see what you're talking about in the face of your younger self. Amazing work. Glad you started a Patreon. May it be a blessings
These quizzes kinda help with the imposter syndrome, but also I find myself going "I must've answered too strongly" or "I bet everyone gets results like this" ^^' I got 213/235 which apparently suggests I'm more Monotropic than 87% of autistic people and 99% of allistic people. Despite my worries about it, I'm still going to be squirreling away my results ready for whenever my screening will be haha
I need a nice variety of detail-oriented tasks to switch to whenever one stops giving enough happy chemicals, we love AuDHD
My parents and my councilor say I'm not autistic and my mom said I don't act like someone's autistic kids she knew. It makes me very sad because I explained it to her and she wouldn't have it.
It sometimes takes people a while to come around. Drip-feeding her information about autism might help! If you read a good article, send it on. Hopefully it'll get through eventually!
@imautisticnowwhat thank you! I'll try to show her that I relate
A whole lot, and the way I've been acting and feeling makes since now that I see what comes along with autism. I fit most of the description of autistic people, and it really feels like I do have autism but my mom dosent agree. I've discussed it with my grandma and she seems to agree with me about how I explained it to her.
@@Lavendercreates My daughter self-diagnosed as an adult, and the more I learn, the more I’m certain she is right. It explains so many things, for example, the mind that couldn’t shut down at night, since preschool. At times suspecting other diagnoses, but Autism makes sense. ADHD on top of it does sort of “cancel out” some auntie traits.
Keep reading reputable sources and don’t give up, even if it takes years.
I went and took the test before watching your video because I didn't want to be biased by it.
"Monotropism Score: 183 / 235
Your Average: 3.89
This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 23% of autistic people and about 89% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study."
Yeah, that seems about right. I'm not diagnosed with ASD, though suspect I might be, but only slightly. But have always been told I'm obsessive and get stuck and have always had extremely deep focused interests compared to most of the people I grew up around.
Ooo this seems like a cool video! :))
19:03 that was so specific yet you've described something that only I thought I did so perfectly
I love taking tests!
BUT I also have to say in my impression this test is an invitation to confirmation bias. To be honest I'm too tired to really research the background of how reliable that test is, how the data was collected etc.
But a lot of the questions are... kind of suggestive?
I got a result that is in agreement with my autism diagnosis, but I really wonder how valid that test really is.
Just saying!
As I said, taking tests is fun but really I can't shake off the very strong confirmation-boss feeling in this case.
I love taking tests too. One day out of the blue I took an autism test that someone online had recommended, and unexpectedly I got a high score. That is how I ended up getting myself formally diagnosed. Taking tests can have unexpected consequences -- that one changed my life.
its complete and utter bullshit - great news for drug company profits
there is no 'formal diagnosis' in mental health, its bullshit subjective nonsense fuelled by incredibly powerful vested interests - even Allen Frances the psychiatrist responsible for DSM 4 has apologised for, in his words ' the fake epidemic of adhd, bi polar. autism' he helped to create - educate yourself @@himbo754
I very much understand the anxiety of driving somewhere. It's info overload where every detail can be dangerous. Even carpooling isn't much better unless the driver carpools professionally and I can ignore the road. It got to the point with me where I've pretty much only walked, biked, or used public transit for several years. For some reason, those forms of travel help me stay relaxed and focused. The exception is airplane travel. That is like 10x the stress of a car.
Mostly because the questions are just designed terribly in my opinion. It would help with at least additional context or multiple phrasings at least
ok, i did my test before i watched the video because i didn't want spoilers/didn't want to be influenced by other people's responses and now i watched the video and we got the same score!
I was signing up for your Patreon, and my Discord notification went off... I was annoyed and got anxious instantly, checked it, and it was just your server greeting me after Patreon automatically added it. 😅 I felt an embarrassing amount of relief
I answered almost exactly the same as you except for the social anxiety related questions. I got 185/235. Any social anxiety I experienced has faded throughout my life (I'm 60 now). I do however have certain noises that have caused me to go into fight-or-flight mode a lot more as I get older. If I'm at a party that has a lot of women talking loudly at the same time, I have to step outside and decompress.
The worst noise for me is the "whoop-whoop-whoop" you hear when 1 window is down in a car while driving at highway speeds. I heard a similar sound when working in a lab that was caused by an unbalanced air handler on the roof. It was causing enough vibration that people were complaining about the image in microscopes moving due to it. The sound was causing me physical discomfort, yet no one I talked to could even hear it.
I dropped out of college after 1.5 years because I had no idea what I wanted to do. I joined the Air Force and went to tech school for electronics which was a passion of mine since I was 8, or 9. I loved my job in the Air Force, but didn't reenlist after my 4 years were up, because they were forcing me to go to NCO training and I realized I didn't want to be anyone's boss.
Would love to see your husband take the quiz! I'm so fascinated by these tests right now. I talked my parents into taking the Aspie quiz, and my niece and nephew wanted to, so I let them also, and even one of my friends took it. I was surprised by all of the results. I'm undiagnosed, but I'm saving up for an assessment. So much of what you have said, as well as what others have said, has deeply resonated with me. I feel like my whole life has been explained, and it's such a relief. Thank you for what you do! Thank you for your channel!
I love that it has n/a as an answer. All questionnaires should give that escape from being forced to give an answer that isn’t true to you.
I find the negative questions and double-negative questions really challenging to answer. I have to spend ages trying to unravel the negatives to understand how to respond.
It says my score is 220/235 and my average 4.68. Also says I'm more monotropic than 94% of autistic people and 100% of allistic people.
I don't know if I have autism. I am a 23yo female, I have panic attack for all I know. I agree with every one of your experiences. I am an English teacher and teaching is like hell for me. Although I love English and the topics, I find it quite difficult to maintain. It's a performance. I have to perform and put up a front all the time. I feel like a fake person. I have difficulties keeping up a dialogue related to lesson and navigating relationships in the classroom. I feel inept because of this. I know I've had this problem throughout my life, but since this is my job now, I am being crushed under this feeling and realization. I am just never enough. I have intense amounts of information, I can even help students with history and geography lessons which are not my field but I just cannot be like other teachers. I don't mind it when other teachers or the headmaster or even the kids tell me what I should do during a lesaon because I have a problem adapting and adjusting. Every classroom is its own world and what you plan or have in mind never works in other classrooms, I fail to adapt my lessons to the needs and spirit of other classrooms. I just feel bad and I know if I can't do this job, I can't do anything else. I lack the skills and interests for other things. I come home every day after school and whenever I am not getting prepared for tomorrow, I am just lying on my bed under the covers. I used to relax on my bed even before, but since I started working I realized I am spending more time cuddled under the blankets. Almost like trying to find some kind of consolation, like a hug by the sheets. Like I am covering as if I am a scared kitten. I am scared of this world, I am scared of everything, I am scared of others seeing me as a bad teacher even if my students tell me I am the nicest teacher they have ever seen and give me hugs whenever they see me. I am so scared of letting my parents down and others down by losing this job. I am just so scared of everything. I watched another video of an autistic woman talking about why she can't hold jobs. She said she had to wake up 2 hrs before work to spend time in the toilet because her bowels overworked because of anxiety due to work and every day I experience the same. I have to get up 1.5 - 2hrs before work time and I go to toilet 3 or 4 times, I get diarrheas simply because of stress as I am sure it's not related to my diet which I've been monitoring. I get anxiety attacks while going to work. I am extremely conscious of myself in the classroom. I hate the teachers room, I feel like they are mocking me sometimes. They are playing some kind of social game. I don't know. I don't know what I have. But I just know something is wrong with me. I've felt that my entire life. I had a mental breakdown when I came back home after the first day of work. No one sees it, but I know I can't keep this up anymore. I've been getting autism related suggestions in my feed lately, and everything I read and watch about it during some deep dives just confirms it in my mind but again, I don't know. I am not a professional. Maybe this is not it and I am faking. I don't know. Should I go to a doc and get a diagnosis? How do I even get a diagnosis? And what am I even gonna do with a diagnosis? I just don't know. I wish I could simply nonexist. I don't wish to die, but I wish I just faded into oblivion. Existence is too much for me.
Honestly I could say I feel the exact same. Just only difference I know is that it is possible to cultivate self worth and feel like a confident person by accepting who you are and that there’s nothing to prove. As long as you can learn to like you for you, it will get easier to live at peace. Took me three years to get here and I still struggle depending on what happens day to day but at least my default is peace not anxiety. SHADOW WORK and Carl Jung’s MBTI helped me understand where to start, but in the end you’ll realize it’s not a destination but a never ending journey to self realization. Plus if you want to get technical George Orwells “animal farm” explains a good deal on why we won’t succeed much in this current system either. So just give it your best shot and if you fail you fail whatever. This is earth right? Can’t we fail here? The one plane of existence where that is permissible is it not? Grant yourself the permission to do what all earthlings do, we fail sometimes but we keep on moving forward how? Because it’s not the end it’s part of the journey not a race.
@@Gadget_2161 oh trust me I know all this and tell myself the same. I got into Jung's work and much more esoteric stuff as well as psychology as it is also required in my field. I am trained in psychology and mental health but it is just never the same for you. Seeing the problems and behaviors of other people and helping them is one thing, finding what is wrong with you is another. Changing the way you are to accommodate to the needs of work and social life is already hard, and not being yourself is even more tiring. I am very well aware that I am allowed to fail at times and it is okay, that's what I tell my students as well. But tell that to my bowels. They never seem to understand...
HOLY SHIT! The thing about being anxious about something and picturing it and thinking that when I've pictured it it means it WONT happen. I GET THAT EXACT SAME THING!!!!! I've never heard anyone else talk about that!!! I thought I was the only one!
Monotropism is a central feature in both autism and adhd.... the differentiation between is bottom up processing (autism) and associative cognition (ADHD)... and it absolutely possible to be AuDHD with associative cognition AND bottom up processing!
Can you elaborate a bit? This sounds like a cool framework
@@nefertitimontoya It's not like official or anything because the state of autism science is still super messed up... but in autistic academic circles there's some common frameworks being scaffolded trying to explain and differentiate different people's neurodivergences from an internal/experience informed perspective rather than an outside observer perspective.
My understanding of a commonly accepted framework is:
Autism = hyperconnected neurons (sensory differences - extremes more common), monotropic thinking, and bottom-up processing.
ADHD (allistic) = hyperconnected neurons (sensory differences - extremes less common), monotropic thinking, top-down processing, and associative cognition.
AuDHD = hperconnected neurons (sensory differences - extremes distribution unknown), monotropic thinking, bottom-up processing, and associative cognition.
The processing differences can be demonstrated via linguistic differences a la the Autistic Pragmatic Language Hypothesis (Rachel Cullen). A lot of the symptoms in the DSM that aren't explained by these differences are usually attributable to trauma.
Other resources:
Aucademy (specifically the interview with Rachel Cullen's Autistic Language Hypothesis)
Trauma Geek (an autistic neuroscientist who creates info graphics about neurodivergence and trauma)
Is this what you were looking for?
You and I are so very similar. I received my autism diagnosis in September and I am 57 years old. A lifetime of struggle and confusion and barely coping all finally explained. Thanks for what you do, I really enjoy your channel.
"leave the toystore without choosing anything"
I get this sensation very frequently when i want to game or watch a series, ill spend upwards of 40 minutes trying to decide and just eventually give up and put on one of my "safe shows" that ive seen dozens of times that just help me relax
I did a questionnaire like this a while back and that was before I saw your video going over monotropism but I remember feeling like finally a study and theory of autism based more on how it feels to have autism rather than what it looks like
I work in a retail job that I don't have a personal stake in nor any particular interest or joy. I also have AuDHD. There have been times I've had to walk away/leave a room because a random sudden loud noise shot my anxiety through the roof, and don't get me started on the customers. I tell people the "oh you know, I don't like it but whatever" shtick you kinda mentioned in the video, but I am slowly dying inside. 🙃 Work takes up so much mental energy, even if its a short shift. I'm also doing online schooling for a Bachelors, so that takes even MORE mental energy, and then I have no mental energy left in my free time to spend on personal projects and interests -- I usually just spend that time doom scrolling/youtube binging while stimming because I just don't have the energy to do anything else. I can't tell if i'm in burnout or have just always lived in such a perpetual state of burnout that its hard to really recognize it anymore. There are so many things I want to do with my interests but I just dont have the energy to do them. I can't just 'get a better job' because thats why im getting a bachelors in the first place, in hopes to get employed in a field I enjoy. I also can't just quit and focus on only school because I have bills to pay (that I can barely afford as it is on the income I have). I was diagnosed with ADHD at 18, ASD at 23 (currently 25). I feel like I've missed out on a lot of advice and techniques for navigating adult life as a ND person that could have been taught to me as a kid. I feel like I'm just playing catch-up now, and only ever having soul-draining jobs i have no interest in, i'm terrified that all jobs/careers will eventually end up feeling like that to me and I'll never be truly content or happy with life.
so TLDR; Yes, working a 'typical/regular' job with ASD/ADHD is a hellish nightmare, but its one that has to be done in order to survive.
Edit: I scored 195/235, more Monotropic than about 50% of autistic people and about 96% of allistic people.
19:20 No way! I've had that thought too (amongst many other strange thoughts, of course). It's the first time I've ever heard anyone else say that.
😆OMG this is hysterical. I'd never heard of monotropism before tonight (like an hour ago), and here's what the quiz produced: "This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 65% of autistic people and about 98% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study." All of the traits I strongly agreed with are things I just thought were straight-up ADHD (like the questions about hyperfocus and about heightened startle response and difficulty task-switching). Now I guess I have to research it. (See you in 5 months lol)
Thank you so much for doing this!
I started checking your videos because I realated a lot with an autistic colleague. I always thought I had ADHD, but now I realized that I'm very monotropic too. So much that it creates tension in my couple. I think I need to get a diagnosis.