They always value you in the beginning. It’s later on, 2-3 years later when you need to start paying attention! That’s when the man gets comfortable with you and slacks off with showing his effort. That’s when we need to leave.
It all depends. I know a couple where the guy didn’t take her seriously the first time around and she left. After 4-6 months they reconciled and he came correct. Married her a year and half later and treats her like a princess. You’ll know when a man is serious when they come back and if they are, a second chance should be given. Women live in this fairytale world and reality is much different
@@azul_thecreator I'm happy to hear that for her but this is the one exception on which most women hang up to. The reality is different. The husband of by best friend cheated twice in the beginning of their relationship. Promise he won't hurt her again. Now 20 years it worked perfectly and now he wants to separate without any explanations and it's currently an on and off thing. I won't allow that to myself. My husband knows he has this one and only chance. I feel safe and I'm sure every human being needs safety. And yes, people like the husband of my best friend need therapy and/or working on themselves. But a real man knows what he wants and respects the woman by his side.
@@Laurenb89 sorry, it was a tipping mistake. By the way it's the third languages which I can speak and write. Not the first one. If you can speak Croatian and German aswell give me some more language advices please...
Then they act right just long enough to bring you back again and then the patterns start again. If they love you then it hurts them to see you hurt. The effort would start right away.
I kept telling my ex that I wanted to do more “couple things” but he always claimed he had to wait till he got his paycheck and this was due to his poor money management skills (we made the same so I never cared about his finances) I held out for 3 years and basically begged him to take me out and go places together, like couples do but he claimed that us being in the same room was enough 😂 I finally decided to call it quits in June, then all of a sudden he wanted to take me places and plan things 🙄 I said no and dipped cause I deserved better. And do!! 🗣️🗣️
The funny part is that y'all still keep in contact with y'all ex boyfriend while in a new relationship but expect for the new man to care for y'all's feelings F,,k outta here
@@lokeyz9449 most women still be sleeping with their baby daddy if they have kids ex boyfriends friends with benefits work husbands and the new simps they give their numbers to when they go out all behind their man back. Me trusting a woman is similar to me leaving heaven ☁️ ☁️ ☁️ ☁️ for HELL 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Girl I feel the same way about my ex he took six weeks and to me when you wait that long it’s hard to trust again. Cause u don’t know if they will do that again or what they been doing while they were gone. Also I feel like if they love u how could they stay gone so long 🤷🏽♀️
@melleniethornton5171 6 weeks? 2 months?! You guys don't know what waiting is! I have been waiting for 11 months. God revealed to me he is the one, and confirmed that several times. He is a widower of 2 years, a fearful avoidant, has severe clinical depression, and has severe trauma from his past, so normally I would run, except God told me to wait for Him to make his heart right and to heal him before he returned to me. He fell hard for me and it scared the snot out of him. I saw a few months ago where he had employed a wellness coach that specialises in avoidant disorders in addition to his therapy, and what kind of woman would I be if I didn't obey God and give him grace? My point is if you are not seeking the Lord whether HE wants you to give them grace and be patient, then you are missing it so hard.
A man that's truly in love with a woman does not risk losing her in the first place. When a woman checks out mentally emotionally and physically, when there is no trust or respect that woman is done! .
This is right on time. My words have became empty so I'm not speaking up. Everything doesnt need a response. Ive already communicated and tired of speaking. I'm moving in silence. I'm waiting on God. I'm moving forward with life and shifting my focus to my relationship with Christ. He can stay in the same place. I'm out here growing! We are married and he can either level up or feel inadequate by his damn self.
True. Exhusband didn’t take me seriously until he received the papers. True. Situationship didn’t take me seriously until after going no contact. Unblocked him after time, he immediately realized I had unblocked him and contacted me. Still didn’t change. Now the block is for good. What’s wrong with these men that don’t appreciate us good women from the start?
Because two reasons: we choose the wrong ones and/or have no boundaries from the beginning because we see the potential, not the reality. Love makes blind. In the past I always fall in love with emotional avoiding guys. It had to do with unsolved children drama. Today I'm happy married and we talk openly what we need in our relationship. And the best thing is he listens and does it. In the past it was so exhausting. I was so desperate for love that I fall for the players. Now my husband is the complete opposite. He loves me and I love him every day even more because it's so rare this days to found someone like him. I hope you find the right one as well. Maybe give the shy, calm guy a chance, you could be surprised 😉
@ireefree2024 love your comment, right until the last point. I just fell for the shy, awkward, quiet loner, and he ripped my heart out 😢 seeing him for 11 months and he kept giving multiple excuses (which seemed very legit at the time) as to why he couldn't commit. We had an argument and blocked each other. I unblocked after 2 days but he left me blocked. 4 weeks after we blocked each other, I accidentally find out he's gone fb official with someone else!! But yes, he's dismissive avoidant. Like you, I've always gone for that type of man and I'm working on it now, as I never want another one thrown at me!
This message was so me. I had to walk away because it didn't make me feel good, and He showed in so many ways he didn't care. I'm tired of talking and You don't have to tell/show me yourself too many times. Good-Bye!
I am a Functional Medicine health coach and I agree that diet, exercise, proper sleep, hydration, and natural stress management techniques are game changers for so many dis- eases.
*To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.*
@@jcymngo I know…but too often we let things go in the beginning especially when it’s new bc we don’t want to drive people away. We need to stop. That was my point of my comment.
This is so true I let my ex get away with verbal and emotionally abusing me for 9 years I have a 6 year old with him I had to leave and realized 😳 the situation will never get better and it would get even worse so I left in February of this year so much I lost still getting on my feet!
I am in the same boat!!! I am so proud of you for leaving that horrible, toxic, and abusive relationship. It's hard at first, but you are strong, and you will rebuild! ♥️
Narcissists usually come around after losing something from you, because he got things filled from other women, but he wanted what you have also. They want it all. There are men who only want a good woman and what is meant for them, they don’t want it all. Search for a man who is looking for a good woman for them.
Idk if she knew what she had. I came on hard times, she broke up with me right as my business partner screwed me over. No job, finding a place and storage for my stuff, was taking forever for companies to get back to me, my anxiety shot through the roof because i felt i was letting myself and her down no matter how hard i tried. Wound up getting my place, got the new job, taking care of my nerve damage and hormone levels, got to a place where i can read again and decompress. I was there for her when she needed me, i love her but it was her choice to breakup. Life sometimes is really tough but ive never given up and i was never giving up on her. Interesting being single and doing the things i told her i just needed time for. I still love her. Hopefully we reconnect even stronger.
Even she wasn't there for you during your struggle she doesnt deserve to be there now. You were going through a lot. At least you admit things you didn't do. Reach out to Stephan or someone like him for really good advice if she does come back.
@@LoveYourLife2 appreciate it. She's been texting randomly. Can't tell if she's scared/timid to fully approach me or just bored. I've read a lot and really it doesn't matter is the feeling. I can love better but I have to be more centered that I dont need other's love. She's got stuff going on and we can't reconnect via text. Tried that once and it didn't work. Weird she pushed me out but still reaches out briefly (indirect direct). I've told her it needs to be in person. She last said things have been really hard and doesnt have anything good at the moment to bring to the conversation. Completely out of the blue- no prompting it (I did deactivate my ig but not for her). So I just told her I value our connection and sorry it's been hard- let me know when she wants to get dinner and hang out. I think i get it but it really doesnt matter as im fading further from her. Still love her but I think less and less about her. I hope she figures things out for her sake. We had a good thing, life and love get scary. Hope all are well :)
He left me for another woman when I showed I was fed up and threatened divorced. 😢 I was trying to show him how serious I was about him changing his behavior. He claims his mistress understands him more than I did.
I believe both your way and if needed medication on depression. And yes I have addressed these issues with both men that I am aware of because in my eyes both men are being deceitful because they are using what one body looks like to interact with me because I feel the vessel is attractive looking if I am reading this dating scenario properly.
I can not solve the problems with him and discuss normal transparent since 1 and half years, the problems, because he geht triggert and said I am disrespectful to him and I am again and again making Conflicts and I am now narcisist, making gashlight and toxic and all more, because I told him about such a personality changes and kind of behavior prb about. Super emotional. Now He gave me one more Chance, the last one but with agressivity, because I am super negativ and disrespectful. All we have Bad times, I am by myself in Europe came to study and make art, paing my bils alone and making visions came true in the world. Thank you Stephan for all the years learning from you.❤
My current situation. The moment I got 100% tired I am done with him and suddenly he's trying to do more effort lol 1 year too late it's over on my side.
I understand what you are saying, and as I stated we divorced and it became final in Oct 2010. He showed up in court with the last woman I caught him in bed with, which he married and she had my first name but the rest of her name was different. I showed up in court with a girl friend of mine at the time and it was Bridget. I sat on the right side of the court room and he was on the left. We went through the court and later on I received the paperwork finalizing the divorce and many years later I got annulments due to my marriages so that I could get married again and get married in the Catholic church.
I don't like playing the game of not caring so he will care. I am true to myself. If I care, I care. It has nothing to do with him. Up to him to care or not because eventually I will actually stop caring. There is no game, no faking. It's a progression. I don't speak for others. For me, once it's over, it's over.
Hahaha. The cooking part got me! Well I said that after ten years and I want a divorce. Well he thought I was joking... I wasn't. I'm a Scorpio, I'm very royal but don't play with me...
I’m a Taurus and I always value loyalty. Taurus takes loyalty seriously too and we do not play around when it comes to love. Evolved Scorpios have always been in my life because of loyalty. I need to meet an evolved male Scorpio.
If I have to retract my energy so much to the point where I'm ready to leave a man, that's it. Grown ass adults don't have time for these games. If you want her, show her and prove it. Same to the ladies to their fellas. Be about them or leave them alone.
I find this funny that this popped up! lol But this is very true! I had told that Guy yesterday that I am officially leaving he said, This isn’t the first time you’ve done this! I like you & you like me! If you go, you go! If you stay, you stay! I am not going to stop you! An that’s when I hit him with this, you are absolutely right! I do like you! But unfortunately, I don’t like you that much to keep you around! And he had left one message after that which I have no idea what it was because I didn’t care to open it. I even said I don’t even care if you contact me or not. But I do seriously think that something is wrong with me! But I notice this only happens with Guys I am not supposed to be with. This is the 2nd time that this has happened to me too! It’s like the birth of anger comes out of me. I have my moments when I will go through things but I wouldn’t be mad about those things. But this is the 2nd human being that has made me go the extra mile of going off! And it isn’t a good thing. Idk how to explain it but I noticed also this only happens with Guys that I had deep feelings for and I’ve decided to pull back because of the way they’ve made me feel which is too vulnerable. Like too vulnerable to the point where I feel as if I can drown in it & I hate that feeling with a passion because I know that those individuals are beyond toxic for me.
@@migyalmamaSmh I no longer interact with him. And I feel as if a huge amount of weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. But I do wish you luck with your journey. 🙌🏽
Seeeeee we can say no. You already know the answer but you have been emotionally abused and traumatized and it makes your head cloudy. I know I’ve been there! And don’t beat yourself up for it. You just need a friend by yourside to root you on. That helps just knowing a friend is there. It’s hard! When you are done you know your done and you feel it getting to that boiling point that your just gonna break away! I hope for you it happens soon but it’s something you gotta decide to do for yourself. I knew I was being mistreated and I knew I deserved better but still stuck by hoping for change! I have faith you. You will break free! When you do you’ll feel like a thousand lbs has been lifted off your shoulders!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 I’m saying this all in love cuz I know your pain.
I had a man on a couch for seven years, while I worked grueling hours and took care of the household. I finally saw a therapist who said, he will never change, leave him before you reach ten years and have to pay alimony in a divorce. Leave him ladies or men, I confused the vows and took in his excuses of depression, or trying to write a book, meanwhile that became video games late at night, etc etc etc in the end I was bad for him and he was bad for me.
Is it too late because I sent my ex a letter and me telling him that I’m letting him go , but because it was my way of letting go, and I think I have already said too much that I don’t think I should be the one to reach back out to him after my last couple of texts to him that he didn’t reply took it as that he was already done with me, and I just wanted to move on. but I still get this feeling where I am still hoping that one day he’ll reach back out
You Get Too Obsessed Too Quickly When You Like Someone... Reasons: - You feel lonely and don't have many people to talk to, or spend time with. Therefore, this person becomes the center of your world because he/she is the only one giving you a little bit of attention... - You're in touch with them all the time, hence habituated - You don't invest enough time and energy in your own goals and hobbies - You seek validation from others instead of being confident about what you bring to the table - They're (most probably) not reciprocating entirely, so you end up chasing (and hurting) more. You're stuck in this loop, and are addicted to it. - You fear letting go and embracing solitude, so you'd much rather hang on to pain that feels familiar!
I have not been turning away an citizen of the USA Christian man that I truly know and love and that I have total clarity about that is trying to figure it all out, and is single like I am, officially I don't want to be with a man who is not doing anything, I prefer a hard worker, but by the way, also I should not be judged as either a man or a black woman myself since people are trying to do that.
Yup, i tried and tried. Talked & talked to him..tried to fix things, made excuses for his behavior.. Finally, i was done, no more. I think back and i am sad at all the time i wasted.
Nagging doesn't work. Pick Pickmeisha nags and hoe moans and play on the computer all day. Say it once and go silent. They need to see what eternity is with the wrong choice. People don't appreciate others until after they die. Sooooo ....go silent.
I have to put some space ,because he's saying that's what he needs, but, he calls so I ignore the calls. We have to talk we share a daughter but I hate the how are you doing calls? Feel fake he turns my words everything I say, is me trying to get him back, even if it's about out child,. I ignore for two reasons because I am protecting my emotions, although it's loose. loose cause I do want to talk. So confused , what goes through his mind when I ignore his calls because the second reason is because he asked for space.... But calls.. so I ignore, I want to fix the family.. if it's possible to do. Any insight?
Can you PLEASE make a video of your thought of your boyfriend liking pictures of his girl friends on Instagram? Is it reasonable for me to tell him to stop? Please answer or make a video ❤
Hell no that's never ok. He's doing that seeing who is interested in him so he can hookup with them. It's major BS. That shows he's not interested in just you. Real good chance he's already hooked with a couple of them. Dump his ass you deserve better
What is the right way to make a man put effort in a 6 year relationship. Since his has been diagnosed with stage 4 liver cause he tries to use it as guilt and acts like he is the only one that has problems
Well I have given the guys a benefit of a doubt that he will actually follow through with changing “this time” that’s what nice girls do! We warn them over and over and over they KNOW what they are doing. They PLAY on our emotions and that’s wrong. They break us down. Then we get to the point we don’t give a crap anymore cuz it’s exhausting! THEN they listen lol. Well I only gave you 50 chances. Bye bye 👉🚪 then they cry. Toooooo bad bro! Now watch us women be happy with someone who treats as we always should have been! It’s not OUR fault they are evil and know how to manipulate and brainwash us. But guys don’t realize when we are done we are DONE! Oh well. Been through it so many times that I don’t deal with the crap anymore from these guys but for many years a fell for their whining and crying poor me poor me and making me feeling all bad for them. Now I know my worth. Thing is….many women just have to go through the struggles to realize for themselves what they need to do. To start seeing their worth. Lots of times it’s stemmed from not being loved growing up and trying to do all they can to love a guy to be loved back. Facts!! I had to learn on my own. No matter what is said you’re wasting your breath. It’s like telling an alcoholic he shouldn’t drink. Won’t work until he hits rock bottom. It’s the same thing for women who are being abused with narcissistic guys. It’s sad but it’s truth. I know my worth now but sadly it took me way too many years to see it. Still looking for a guy who will treat me right! They are super hard to find! It’s true! If you’ve been through it you know! If you haven’t you are clueless. Just like addicts! I’ll never understand what they go through cuz I am not one. Recovered addicts can understand though. It’s the way life is.
There's a difference when it's a legitimate issue as opposed to playing hard to get. If she distances herself and you're still interested in her, discuss it with her. If she doesn't express any issues or problems, give her all the space she needs as you walk away.
Or... you kick him out, serve him with papers and tell him you want nothing to do with him and he still doesn't think it's for real until you start dating someone else 3 years later and suddenly he's like "oh shit, this is for real!" 🙄 ...then a couple weeks later he starts dating someone and decides he's totally over you and after 3 months with her he's talking about marrying her and having babies with her... Smh, Some men are just idiots and takers and aren't worth your energy
Makes sense! Honestly, I’d probably agree with him because I have a little bit of boob envy 😂. But then, I would tell him that my boobs won’t sag as bad.😄
Therapy don't tell everyone your business if you sound like you just needed someone to talk to you don't have to get medicine that's a lie death can bring on so don't say forever
thats dumb and backwards....when a woman doesnt care they complain, when we do care and stop, then they start caring really !! it shouldnt have to come to this its time out for games
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If he doesn’t see you as valuable right from the start, he is only keeping you around to use you!
They always value you in the beginning. It’s later on, 2-3 years later when you need to start paying attention! That’s when the man gets comfortable with you and slacks off with showing his effort. That’s when we need to leave.
If he doesn't see u as valuable in the beginning, leave his ass where he's at.
I disagree even diamonds need to be checked first to see if they are real or not
@@rumbarumba1True diamonds never loose their value. Only a diamond thief would cause a loss in value.
If a man really loves you, he won't take the risk to lose you 😊
It all depends. I know a couple where the guy didn’t take her seriously the first time around and she left. After 4-6 months they reconciled and he came correct. Married her a year and half later and treats her like a princess. You’ll know when a man is serious when they come back and if they are, a second chance should be given. Women live in this fairytale world and reality is much different
@@azul_thecreator I'm happy to hear that for her but this is the one exception on which most women hang up to. The reality is different. The husband of by best friend cheated twice in the beginning of their relationship. Promise he won't hurt her again. Now 20 years it worked perfectly and now he wants to separate without any explanations and it's currently an on and off thing. I won't allow that to myself. My husband knows he has this one and only chance. I feel safe and I'm sure every human being needs safety. And yes, people like the husband of my best friend need therapy and/or working on themselves. But a real man knows what he wants and respects the woman by his side.
Can yall please know the difference between lose and loose ????
And don’t say it was a mistake yall genuinely don’t know the difference it’s annoying at this point
@@Laurenb89 sorry, it was a tipping mistake. By the way it's the third languages which I can speak and write. Not the first one. If you can speak Croatian and German aswell give me some more language advices please...
Then they act right just long enough to bring you back again and then the patterns start again. If they love you then it hurts them to see you hurt. The effort would start right away.
Never make yourself too available . Don’t stay in an unhealthy relationship
Stand your ground my sistas and know your worth. Don't be a fool.
By the time I'm divorcing him, it doesn't matter how much he steps up. I'm done with him. I don't care if he suddenly cares and makes effort.
Yup, sometimes its too little too late.
I kept telling my ex that I wanted to do more “couple things” but he always claimed he had to wait till he got his paycheck and this was due to his poor money management skills (we made the same so I never cared about his finances)
I held out for 3 years and basically begged him to take me out and go places together, like couples do but he claimed that us being in the same room was enough 😂
I finally decided to call it quits in June, then all of a sudden he wanted to take me places and plan things 🙄 I said no and dipped cause I deserved better.
And do!! 🗣️🗣️
Yup, had an idiot ex like this. All of a sudden you are an event planner when it's too damn late.
The funny part is that y'all still keep in contact with y'all ex boyfriend while in a new relationship but expect for the new man to care for y'all's feelings F,,k outta here
@@thetruthtings Can’t relate. Sorry 🤷🏽♀️
@@lokeyz9449 I bet all of your friends can but you is the only good one lol
@@lokeyz9449 most women still be sleeping with their baby daddy if they have kids ex boyfriends friends with benefits work husbands and the new simps they give their numbers to when they go out all behind their man back. Me trusting a woman is similar to me leaving heaven ☁️ ☁️ ☁️ ☁️ for HELL 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
2 months of no contact he finally said he's taking the Ego down and that he really misses me. I think it's too late to reconcile 😤
2 months? Sheesh.
Girl I feel the same way about my ex he took six weeks and to me when you wait that long it’s hard to trust again. Cause u don’t know if they will do that again or what they been doing while they were gone. Also I feel like if they love u how could they stay gone so long 🤷🏽♀️
@melleniethornton5171 6 weeks? 2 months?! You guys don't know what waiting is! I have been waiting for 11 months. God revealed to me he is the one, and confirmed that several times. He is a widower of 2 years, a fearful avoidant, has severe clinical depression, and has severe trauma from his past, so normally I would run, except God told me to wait for Him to make his heart right and to heal him before he returned to me. He fell hard for me and it scared the snot out of him. I saw a few months ago where he had employed a wellness coach that specialises in avoidant disorders in addition to his therapy, and what kind of woman would I be if I didn't obey God and give him grace?
My point is if you are not seeking the Lord whether HE wants you to give them grace and be patient, then you are missing it so hard.
A man that's truly in love with a woman does not risk losing her in the first place.
When a woman checks out mentally emotionally and physically, when there is no trust or respect that woman is done! .
Only you know if it’s too late or let him meet the new you🤷♀️🙏🏻🕊
This is right on time. My words have became empty so I'm not speaking up. Everything doesnt need a response. Ive already communicated and tired of speaking. I'm moving in silence. I'm waiting on God. I'm moving forward with life and shifting my focus to my relationship with Christ. He can stay in the same place. I'm out here growing! We are married and he can either level up or feel inadequate by his damn self.
True. Exhusband didn’t take me seriously until he received the papers. True. Situationship didn’t take me seriously until after going no contact. Unblocked him after time, he immediately realized I had unblocked him and contacted me. Still didn’t change. Now the block is for good. What’s wrong with these men that don’t appreciate us good women from the start?
I get what you’re saying!
Because two reasons: we choose the wrong ones and/or have no boundaries from the beginning because we see the potential, not the reality. Love makes blind. In the past I always fall in love with emotional avoiding guys. It had to do with unsolved children drama. Today I'm happy married and we talk openly what we need in our relationship. And the best thing is he listens and does it. In the past it was so exhausting. I was so desperate for love that I fall for the players. Now my husband is the complete opposite. He loves me and I love him every day even more because it's so rare this days to found someone like him. I hope you find the right one as well. Maybe give the shy, calm guy a chance, you could be surprised 😉
@ireefree2024 love your comment, right until the last point. I just fell for the shy, awkward, quiet loner, and he ripped my heart out 😢 seeing him for 11 months and he kept giving multiple excuses (which seemed very legit at the time) as to why he couldn't commit. We had an argument and blocked each other. I unblocked after 2 days but he left me blocked. 4 weeks after we blocked each other, I accidentally find out he's gone fb official with someone else!! But yes, he's dismissive avoidant. Like you, I've always gone for that type of man and I'm working on it now, as I never want another one thrown at me!
@@ireefree2024the thing is my soon to be ex was shy and calm. And he still displays all narcissistic traits.
Give yourself grace. U can’t always do what you plan when you’re in love but at some point opportunity meets preparation. Take care of yourself.
Thank you ❤
This message was so me. I had to walk away because it didn't make me feel good, and He showed in so many ways he didn't care. I'm tired of talking and You don't have to tell/show me yourself too many times. Good-Bye!
💯💯💯💯
how are you feeling now? has he tried coming back to take you more seriously?
I am a Functional Medicine health coach and I agree that diet, exercise, proper sleep, hydration, and natural stress management techniques are game changers for so many dis- eases.
Don't be a fool for anyone!
when i was dating my husband i did not care much the relationship to me was not something that i put all that effort into and he actually married me
*To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.*
This is why you show them from the start that you’re not playing.
Even if you do they still test you because they get lazy. You cannot expect to do it just once.
@@jcymngo I know…but too often we let things go in the beginning especially when it’s new bc we don’t want to drive people away. We need to stop. That was my point of my comment.
My EX told me i wouldnt just leave him..well I showed and proved. Broke it off with him cause he couldnt get his sh*t together.
I stopped totally and he finally left me alone. Thank God!
This is so true I let my ex get away with verbal and emotionally abusing me for 9 years I have a 6 year old with him I had to leave and realized 😳 the situation will never get better and it would get even worse so I left in February of this year so much I lost still getting on my feet!
I am in the same boat!!! I am so proud of you for leaving that horrible, toxic, and abusive relationship. It's hard at first, but you are strong, and you will rebuild! ♥️
You know how to burst my bubble with the truth .. I’m holding my own Stephan so thank you for re-enforcing my decision
Boy, that is totally true, over, and over again..
He said he doesnt care if i date.. doesnt care if i stay or leave.. that hurts.😢
Bye
So true ‼️💯 gotta stand on your word
Stand on Business
Narcissists usually come around after losing something from you, because he got things filled from other women, but he wanted what you have also. They want it all. There are men who only want a good woman and what is meant for them, they don’t want it all. Search for a man who is looking for a good woman for them.
I'm so grateful to hear you're not a medication person, too many folks just really don't understand what you can change your diet & exercise...
"NO ONE SHOULD FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE A FREE PASS TO ACT A FOOL IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND YOU'RE GOING TO ACCEPT IT!"
HUMPH!!!!!!!!
UUUMMM-HUH!!!!!!!!
If you're in this situation (man or woman) they really dont care or they wouldn't be acting like that. Time to leave
Idk if she knew what she had. I came on hard times, she broke up with me right as my business partner screwed me over. No job, finding a place and storage for my stuff, was taking forever for companies to get back to me, my anxiety shot through the roof because i felt i was letting myself and her down no matter how hard i tried.
Wound up getting my place, got the new job, taking care of my nerve damage and hormone levels, got to a place where i can read again and decompress.
I was there for her when she needed me, i love her but it was her choice to breakup. Life sometimes is really tough but ive never given up and i was never giving up on her.
Interesting being single and doing the things i told her i just needed time for. I still love her. Hopefully we reconnect even stronger.
Even she wasn't there for you during your struggle she doesnt deserve to be there now. You were going through a lot. At least you admit things you didn't do. Reach out to Stephan or someone like him for really good advice if she does come back.
@@LoveYourLife2 appreciate it. She's been texting randomly. Can't tell if she's scared/timid to fully approach me or just bored. I've read a lot and really it doesn't matter is the feeling. I can love better but I have to be more centered that I dont need other's love. She's got stuff going on and we can't reconnect via text. Tried that once and it didn't work. Weird she pushed me out but still reaches out briefly (indirect direct). I've told her it needs to be in person. She last said things have been really hard and doesnt have anything good at the moment to bring to the conversation. Completely out of the blue- no prompting it (I did deactivate my ig but not for her). So I just told her I value our connection and sorry it's been hard- let me know when she wants to get dinner and hang out.
I think i get it but it really doesnt matter as im fading further from her. Still love her but I think less and less about her. I hope she figures things out for her sake. We had a good thing, life and love get scary.
Hope all are well :)
I'm glad it's just me now still Good doing this sharing everyday is Greatly to be Praised 🙏🏽🗣️💓
If you stop caring with a narc - he stops caring too… or not. I honestly don’t know. The narc just messes with you.
I stop caring after 5yrs of separation, now he cares, been married for 20yrs I'm out of love for my husband we grew apart...
Why did you stay
By the time he starts to care I don't want him period .. He should've stepped up and got it together in the beginning for me ...
Sooo many examples from my phone last 27 years of my life covered and explained in at least 3 of your points here!! Thank you for confirming!!
26 Out of my 56 years of my life that is
He left me for another woman when I showed I was fed up and threatened divorced. 😢 I was trying to show him how serious I was about him changing his behavior. He claims his mistress understands him more than I did.
He's with someone who doesn't challenge him . He's comfortable .
There's no growth in either , you're gold for walking away 🙌⚘️
Good riddance to bad rubbish!!! He never loved you.
That's a blessing in disguise.
Yes a month no contact and I don't want no one that has to face threat of me leaving to man up
I believe both your way and if needed medication on depression. And yes I have addressed these issues with both men that I am aware of because in my eyes both men are being deceitful because they are using what one body looks like to interact with me because I feel the vessel is attractive looking if I am reading this dating scenario properly.
I can not solve the problems with him and discuss normal transparent since 1 and half years, the problems, because he geht triggert and said I am disrespectful to him and I am again and again making Conflicts and I am now narcisist, making gashlight and toxic and all more, because I told him about such a personality changes and kind of behavior prb about. Super emotional. Now He gave me one more Chance, the last one but with agressivity, because I am super negativ and disrespectful. All we have Bad times, I am by myself in Europe came to study and make art, paing my bils alone and making visions came true in the world. Thank you Stephan for all the years learning from you.❤
Lord please restore my relationship with Edwin and open his eyes and let him come back 😢
if you were looking for a sign, here am i. let him go!
Edwin.my ex was an Edwin. Yeah, NO.
Who don’t hear 👂🏽.. will feel !
PeriodT
I really love your content! Thank you for these videos and thank you for seeing a woman’s pov too!
Well he told me he doesn’t care like he used to so I know he doesn’t care and won’t reach out to me
My current situation. The moment I got 100% tired I am done with him and suddenly he's trying to do more effort lol 1 year too late it's over on my side.
I understand what you are saying, and as I stated we divorced and it became final in Oct 2010. He showed up in court with the last woman I caught him in bed with, which he married and she had my first name but the rest of her name was different. I showed up in court with a girl friend of mine at the time and it was Bridget. I sat on the right side of the court room and he was on the left. We went through the court and later on I received the paperwork finalizing the divorce and many years later I got annulments due to my marriages so that I could get married again and get married in the Catholic church.
I don't like playing the game of not caring so he will care. I am true to myself. If I care, I care. It has nothing to do with him. Up to him to care or not because eventually I will actually stop caring. There is no game, no faking. It's a progression. I don't speak for others. For me, once it's over, it's over.
Bro u r right 100 percent
Ha ha 😂 in my case my silance is LOUD
When am out
U call it done
Period!!
No stressing less guessing
Yes! It gets to tiring, life is too short.
I doubt... He's in a new relationship and I don't want him back
Stephan, I adore your advice and your delivery feels flawless to me--- THANK YOU!
Hahaha. The cooking part got me! Well I said that after ten years and I want a divorce. Well he thought I was joking... I wasn't. I'm a Scorpio, I'm very royal but don't play with me...
I'm a Scorpio too and don't play around.
I’m a Taurus and I always value loyalty. Taurus takes loyalty seriously too and we do not play around when it comes to love. Evolved Scorpios have always been in my life because of loyalty. I need to meet an evolved male Scorpio.
@@irinaivanovic9792 A healed Scorpio💪❤️
Just love us
Or leave!
Thank you for this message 💪🏽
Just leave silently
Mine was drunk for months and didn't even know he was served with divorce papers now he wants me back yet we divorced
Hey your channel is great! Keep it up & stay shining!
If I have to retract my energy so much to the point where I'm ready to leave a man, that's it. Grown ass adults don't have time for these games. If you want her, show her and prove it. Same to the ladies to their fellas. Be about them or leave them alone.
Definitely!
I find this funny that this popped up! lol
But this is very true!
I had told that Guy yesterday that I am officially leaving he said, This isn’t the first time you’ve done this! I like you & you like me! If you go, you go! If you stay, you stay! I am not going to stop you!
An that’s when I hit him with this, you are absolutely right! I do like you! But unfortunately, I don’t like you that much to keep you around!
And he had left one message after that which I have no idea what it was because I didn’t care to open it. I even said I don’t even care if you contact me or not.
But I do seriously think that something is wrong with me! But I notice this only happens with Guys I am not supposed to be with. This is the 2nd time that this has happened to me too! It’s like the birth of anger comes out of me. I have my moments when I will go through things but I wouldn’t be mad about those things. But this is the 2nd human being that has made me go the extra mile of going off! And it isn’t a good thing. Idk how to explain it but I noticed also this only happens with Guys that I had deep feelings for and I’ve decided to pull back because of the way they’ve made me feel which is too vulnerable. Like too vulnerable to the point where I feel as if I can drown in it & I hate that feeling with a passion because I know that those individuals are beyond toxic for me.
im exactly living this 🥲
@@migyalmamaSmh I no longer interact with him. And I feel as if a huge amount of weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
But I do wish you luck with your journey. 🙌🏽
Am ready for my chosen one
Stephan, thank you for making this video. It is so on-time and helpful. Tell me, if a partner clearly knows what is expected, should they be reminded?
Seeeeee we can say no. You already know the answer but you have been emotionally abused and traumatized and it makes your head cloudy. I know I’ve been there! And don’t beat yourself up for it. You just need a friend by yourside to root you on. That helps just knowing a friend is there. It’s hard! When you are done you know your done and you feel it getting to that boiling point that your just gonna break away! I hope for you it happens soon but it’s something you gotta decide to do for yourself. I knew I was being mistreated and I knew I deserved better but still stuck by hoping for change! I have faith you. You will break free! When you do you’ll feel like a thousand lbs has been lifted off your shoulders!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 I’m saying this all in love cuz I know your pain.
No reminders are necessary. This is hell. They do everything for fetty dealers. Hence why their homes are on fire. She is starting the burn.
By then .. it’s to late !
I had a man on a couch for seven years, while I worked grueling hours and took care of the household. I finally saw a therapist who said, he will never change, leave him before you reach ten years and have to pay alimony in a divorce. Leave him ladies or men, I confused the vows and took in his excuses of depression, or trying to write a book, meanwhile that became video games late at night, etc etc etc in the end I was bad for him and he was bad for me.
Also, if you’re a working lady, get your ass a prenup, and keep the deed in your name if you bought the house.
So true!!
you are soooo right
So that just happened…
…so I let him go😌🙏🏽
Thanks💞
Is it too late because I sent my ex a letter and me telling him that I’m letting him go , but because it was my way of letting go, and I think I have already said too much that I don’t think I should be the one to reach back out to him after my last couple of texts to him that he didn’t reply took it as that he was already done with me, and I just wanted to move on. but I still get this feeling where I am still hoping that one day he’ll reach back out
Don’t be desperate. Let him go. You deserve better than chasing after him. You’re the choice, not an option. Act accordingly.
I don't want that
Hallelujah 💯 👍 🙏 😊
You Get Too Obsessed Too Quickly When You Like Someone...
Reasons:
- You feel lonely and don't have many people to talk to, or spend time with.
Therefore, this person becomes the center of your world
because he/she is the only one giving you a little bit of attention...
- You're in touch with them all the time, hence habituated
- You don't invest enough time and energy in your own goals and hobbies
- You seek validation from others instead of being confident about what you bring to the table
- They're (most probably) not reciprocating entirely,
so you end up chasing (and hurting) more.
You're stuck in this loop, and are addicted to it.
- You fear letting go and embracing solitude,
so you'd much rather hang on to pain that feels familiar!
4:58 💯💯💯💯
I am the same as you, Stephan! I don’t believe in medication either. It’s all b.s. to me too! Who feels it, knows it!
I have not been turning away an citizen of the USA Christian man that I truly know and love and that I have total clarity about that is trying to figure it all out, and is single like I am, officially I don't want to be with a man who is not doing anything, I prefer a hard worker, but by the way, also I should not be judged as either a man or a black woman myself since people are trying to do that.
How you doin Stephan have a great New Year
I think it’s too late once we’ve decided it’s over. That’s why we nag & threaten for years, hoping they will listen before it’s too late.
Yup, i tried and tried. Talked & talked to him..tried to fix things, made excuses for his behavior..
Finally, i was done, no more. I think back and i am sad at all the time i wasted.
Nagging doesn't work. Pick Pickmeisha nags and hoe moans and play on the computer all day. Say it once and go silent. They need to see what eternity is with the wrong choice. People don't appreciate others until after they die. Sooooo ....go silent.
Think before you speak I told my children
💯💯💯💯
Great advice.
I have to put some space ,because he's saying that's what he needs, but, he calls so I ignore the calls. We have to talk we share a daughter but I hate the how are you doing calls? Feel fake he turns my words everything I say, is me trying to get him back, even if it's about out child,. I ignore for two reasons because I am protecting my emotions, although it's loose. loose cause I do want to talk. So confused , what goes through his mind when I ignore his calls because the second reason is because he asked for space.... But calls.. so I ignore, I want to fix the family.. if it's possible to do. Any insight?
How do I contact you Stephen. I would like to reach out and have a discussion.
If he lost that mean iam done with him I am not coming back
Can you PLEASE make a video of your thought of your boyfriend liking pictures of his girl friends on Instagram? Is it reasonable for me to tell him to stop? Please answer or make a video ❤
Omg,that happened to me,he leftme for her,tbh it was the best thing,its cheating
Dump him that isn’t ok creep
@@kayzaynel that is what they call privacy!
Female friends hmmm. What about heart eyeing several females on fakebook?
Hell no that's never ok. He's doing that seeing who is interested in him so he can hookup with them. It's major BS. That shows he's not interested in just you. Real good chance he's already hooked with a couple of them. Dump his ass you deserve better
To many games
What is the right way to make a man put effort in a 6 year relationship. Since his has been diagnosed with stage 4 liver cause he tries to use it as guilt and acts like he is the only one that has problems
Nah fuck that I love this woman more than anyone.she tore my heart out...Idgaf anymore
Well I have given the guys a benefit of a doubt that he will actually follow through with changing “this time” that’s what nice girls do! We warn them over and over and over they KNOW what they are doing. They PLAY on our emotions and that’s wrong. They break us down. Then we get to the point we don’t give a crap anymore cuz it’s exhausting! THEN they listen lol. Well I only gave you 50 chances. Bye bye 👉🚪 then they cry. Toooooo bad bro! Now watch us women be happy with someone who treats as we always should have been! It’s not OUR fault they are evil and know how to manipulate and brainwash us. But guys don’t realize when we are done we are DONE! Oh well. Been through it so many times that I don’t deal with the crap anymore from these guys but for many years a fell for their whining and crying poor me poor me and making me feeling all bad for them. Now I know my worth. Thing is….many women just have to go through the struggles to realize for themselves what they need to do. To start seeing their worth. Lots of times it’s stemmed from not being loved growing up and trying to do all they can to love a guy to be loved back. Facts!! I had to learn on my own. No matter what is said you’re wasting your breath. It’s like telling an alcoholic he shouldn’t drink. Won’t work until he hits rock bottom. It’s the same thing for women who are being abused with narcissistic guys. It’s sad but it’s truth. I know my worth now but sadly it took me way too many years to see it. Still looking for a guy who will treat me right! They are super hard to find! It’s true! If you’ve been through it you know! If you haven’t you are clueless. Just like addicts! I’ll never understand what they go through cuz I am not one. Recovered addicts can understand though. It’s the way life is.
Give me a minute you guys are going to want me on podcast and I'm going to have to say I can do an AI for My voice
@Stephan come on man. Women don't need no SAM missiles. Men do.
Luckily for me I never give a fuck. I don’t give second chances. You fuck up once? You’re gone.
There's a difference when it's a legitimate issue as opposed to playing hard to get.
If she distances herself and you're still interested in her, discuss it with her.
If she doesn't express any issues or problems, give her all the space she needs as you walk away.
Or... you kick him out, serve him with papers and tell him you want nothing to do with him and he still doesn't think it's for real until you start dating someone else 3 years later and suddenly he's like "oh shit, this is for real!" 🙄
...then a couple weeks later he starts dating someone and decides he's totally over you and after 3 months with her he's talking about marrying her and having babies with her... Smh, Some men are just idiots and takers and aren't worth your energy
Halaha a amen
Amen!!!!
But I found YOU
Makes sense!
Honestly, I’d probably agree with him because I have a little bit of boob envy 😂. But then, I would tell him that my boobs won’t sag as bad.😄
❤
Therapy don't tell everyone your business if you sound like you just needed someone to talk to you don't have to get medicine that's a lie death can bring on so don't say forever
Huh?
🎯❤️🙌
Clinical depression requires a combination of medications with lifestyle modification 🙌
💯
ABSOLUTELY 💯
Nope!!! It’s been a month. Ps we work together. Ps he’s married 🤣✌🏻
hope you proud,ps you shouldn't be!
thats dumb and backwards....when a woman doesnt care they complain, when we do care and stop, then they start caring really !! it shouldnt have to come to this its time out for games