Thinking about getting a divorce

It starts with establishing intimacy by sharing marital vulnerability. And it ends up facing down the distance between thoughts and actions, dreaming and doing.
👀 If you are feeling a little bit too seen by this reel, it’s because you are not alone.
💔If you are a betrayed spouse, it can be helpful to learn more about the conditions that sometimes open the door to an affair, and why it’s often such a torturous rollercoaster for you because of it.
When I work with stuck unfaithful spouses, I focus on identifying reasons they’re paralyzed despite getting into the affair in the first place.
I’m trained in a technique called “Motivational Interviewing,” where you assess and help people change some of their most difficult behaviors through the course of conversation.
My brain is attuned to pull out key aspects of the client’s language that signal their feelings about change - it’s called “Change Talk” in the vernacular.
I listen for these key language categories:
☑️ Desire to change
☑️ Ability to change
☑️ Readiness to change
☑️ Need to change
In this video, you hear a very common trajectory of an unfaithful spouse: a high desire for change and perhaps even a high need for change, met with fearfully low ability and readiness for change.
“I’ve been thinking about divorce for a long time” = ⬆️ Desire
“I’m unhappy and I know I need to have some hard conversations.” = ⬆️ Need
“The kids are coming back from school though… not now…. Not now again…” = ⬇️ Readiness
“ I need to let my spouse cool off they’re freaking out that I’m bringing up my unhappiness.” = ⬇️ Ability
Fear of change is the major road block that affects all four of these change talk areas for all of us.
Achieving change requires raising the areas that are low. Unless someone’s sheer force of will is so strong they find the ability and readiness on their own, we usually need a solid combination of compassionate education and meaningful self-connection to achieve our goals.
The Decision Making Masterclass for Spouses in an Affair is designed to deliver exactly that. Get it now, linked in my bio ❤️‍🔥.
Does the pain of staying the same outweigh the pain of change? #infidelity #healing #relationship #infidelityrecovery #selfhelp #narcissist #manifestation

[@alv9551]

sounds like a healthy marriage!

[@cristinavetsch3468]

😅