67. Toxic Relationships: How To Spot + What To Do

You asked, we delivered! We can't tell you how many times we've been asked what to do about toxic relationships and how to know if you're experiencing one. In this episode, we share our own personal definitions of "toxic" and it may or may not be what you think! While it seems easy to point out the toxicity in others' behavior, it's a lot harder to point it out within ourselves. So we took this opportunity to share our personal stories and explain that toxic behavior is a combination of characteristics (rather than a character flaw) that play out in relational dynamics, most easily distinguished by defensiveness, blame, and control.
However, not every single person who displays this behavior is a "toxic" person if they are aware and willing to confront their own patterns and vulnerably express their needs. Because in reality, ALL humans can become defensive, point the finger and become controlling; but getting curious about those behaviors rather than blaming others for them is the antidote to the "toxicity" so many are used to. And the good news? Expressing curiosity and vulnerability are skills that can be learned in any relational dynamic that seeks to foster trust. That means that a relationship that has gone sideways can (with trust and emotional safety) be brought back to balance...but it's also how relationships you think that could never change, well, do.
So if you are engaging in a "toxic" dynamic right now or know someone who is, this conversation will help you understand the root of that toxicity and the actionable solutions you can take responsibility for in an effort to create more connection and clarity in your personal relationships.
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