the way cody joked about the girl smashing her hermit crab being a future serial killer meanwhile he had a story about ripping a live lobster in half with his bare hands is crazy
As someone who gets asked how I went blind on a daily basis... hearing taht first confession makes me really glad that my answer is just that I was born with a rare disease.
OMG hi Molly!! That first confession honestly sounds kind of like a story Paul would tell though, he always has the best embarrassing stories to share 😂
@@bettertechenterprises4760lots of accessibility options for the unseeing. Lots of videos explaining and it Molly has a few as well . But pretty much use voice over, and the iPhone speaks out everything and you have certain places to tap for navigating and typing. Some of them are crazy fast at it it’s pretty incredible
That steak one is genuinely the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Think about it from an outside perspective, a man about to eat steak, then grabs it and throws it for absolutely no reason
I was laughing so hard when he said the steak story 😂 all I can imagine is being the wife and hearing the steak hit the window then realising my husband had just thrown it 😅
i’m literally eating lunch at work and had to try not to laugh. i accidentally let a few snorts escape and my cubicle neighbors were side-eyeing me. everything is funnier when you have to be quiet
i like my steak more on well-done side,,, if there is blood or lots of reddish juice, i just cant eat it,,, so i understand wanting to get rid of undercooked/raw steak
I think “let me tell you” is probably a common filler word in his native language (like the word like in English, or saying you know) and he just google translated it. Google translate also tends to translate words way more formal than they were intended which explains his thesaurus vocabulary.
It's okay, Cody. I am a lobster medium, I communicate with lobsters who are no longer with us. Derrek forgives you, Cody. He wants you to know that he's just glad his body gave you nourishment.
The story about lying to your kid reminded me of my friend’s story omg. Her mom told her that when ice cream trucks play music it’s because they ran out of ice cream. It took her forever to figure out the truth lmao
My parents told me this too and I know lots of people whose parents did this. It's unfortunately very common. My mum would also threaten to call the cops on me when I misbehaved 😭
I was baked one day, watching TV, and just hanging out. The traffic noise was really loud. I picked up the remote, pointed at the window to turn down the traffic noise. Took me a solid 15 seconds to figure out why it wasn't working.😂😂
@@geturselfanoutfitmy parents haven’t loved each other since i was born lmfao, they aren’t divorced or separated but going to be soon so the L divorce made me giggle lol
@@bramo5901It’s the same story, but maybe with less cuss words if I remember correctly. It’s thought to be fake and based on a concept for a sketch for a TV show (but not SNL).
I was high at work and trying to have a normal conversation with a woman who had just started. I don't remember much, but I do remember saying "I'll be having that" with the little goblin voice and everything. She didn't come back the next day
@@SorryImKindaShy They will actually Form a line from biggest crab to smallest when they find a new big shell, and do a shell trading party. Sounds fake but I just watched a BBC video on it to confirm, it's pretty adorable:P
That makes the story even more sad, but it would be cool to do with a pet (letting them choose to migrate to new shell or not). I really feel bad for her, because kids have incredibly dumb logic sometimes with no malice. She probably also misjudged her own strength (when paired with a heavy hammer). I can imagine her thinking she'd give it a tap to get enough of a crack to break the rest without crushing the poor dude. Idk if I'm being too charitable or not but it seems like it wasn't on purpose and I really feel for her if thats true
You COULD also forcibly remove the crab gently from their shell and it will go in a new shell that you give them. A hammer is NOT the way to do that. But it could be done so I was suprised that Cody was appalled by the idea of a 5 yr old doing that accidentally. The way Cody responded that “It was a crab, that’s still kinda bad, but ya know it’s a crab,” makes me think he doesn’t really know what a hermit crab is. I would never really call a hermit crab just “a crab.” So I was weirded out by his response. Hermit crabs live very differently than other crabs.
Mr. Cody, Please continue to make more of these videos about confessions. They make me laugh everytime and always make my day better no matter how stressed I am. I am not exaggerating when I say these type of videos are one of my favorite things in the entire world. Keep doing what you’re doing. Best, Drew
Steak man saying “im so sorry, im such a klutz” had me ROLLINGGGGG i couldnt stop laughing at that excuse😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 that’s some cindy from scary movie type shit
14:00 my favorite way to shut someone down is "What do you think this will accomplish" because they have to stop whatever shenanigans they were doing and try to explain their logic, which usually reveals they had no plan to begins with. Very effective when used in the immature.
In one of the books, Sherlock Holmes once said that the events of real life pale in comparison to anything anyone could write in fiction. He literally said you would be more interested raising the roofs of London and peering in. These videos, more than anything else, make me agree.
Thank you editor Zade for keeping that clip in of Cody wallowing in shame over the "not you being a wizard" joke 💀 It's giving the same energy as his self conscious DJ set ad libs "yeah baby"
The level of panic that guy felt from the first story… I can’t imagine the adrenaline, fear etc. like a car wreck and caching the whole house on fire level of momentary panic.
When two unfortunate bodily functions occur at the same time it's always fun to say you took a screenshot, highly recommend to alleviate the tension in the room. Can be used for fart/cough/burp/hiccup/snot/sneeze/piss/vom combos
The line, "I'm a sick man; I can't stop making bangers" should unironically be used in a verse in the next song Cody drops. Just imagine that with one of his sick ass beats in the backgroud.
Hermit crabs don't grow a shell of their own, so they find discarded shells, climb into them and hold on to the inside with some of their legs. When they outgrow the shell, they look for a bigger shell and then move into it like a new apartment. That's why they're called hermit crabs-they live in someone elses abandoned shell. The girl must have splattered the actual crab with the hammer, because breaking only the shell would have been annoying to the crab but not lethal.
yeah, a 5 year old isn’t the best at managing their power and probably thought the shell was much more durable and rigid than it is. it’s actually sad :(((
These confessions are quickly becoming the best segments. Literally shit yourself blind is a sentence I didn't know I needed in my life. You should bring Kelsey on one I think she'd love it.
21:29 I weirdly do not laugh out loud when I'm watching something alone, but the combination of this story + Cody's visual descriptions got me screaming at this one 🤣
With the autograph one, I was one of the first Patreon subs of TMG back in the day and because of that they sent out some pins and a signed poster. Even if they didn’t actually sign it the thought that they personally signed my poster makes me so happy
I have one for you: I caught my 5 year old son holding a crayon and pretending he was smoking, I burst into the room with a shocked expression, knocked the crayon out of my child's hand, and with panic in my voice said, "Stop that! You can't do that!" When he asked my why I said, with the most serious, deepest compassionate look I could muster, "Oh son! I'm so sorry, but you were born a non-smoker!" That lie held until high school when older, more experienced pressuring peers told him that was just silly.
11:58 how does this have incredibly intricate wording while also having terrible grammar at the same time?? 😂 it’s like a child wrote a story and corrected it with ai 😂😂😂
It kind of reads like a foreigner wrote it. I think he said "interesting" instead of "interested" for example. If he uses a dictionary for example, that would explain why he uses uncommon / unnatural words. I once dated someone who insisted on speaking English though we both spoke french, and he also had similar grammar but occasionally he would come up with really unnatural vocabulary words
I feel so bad for the girl that killed her hermit crab. She was way too young for the responsibility of that pet, and the resulting trauma her smashing it has caused. RIP Blossom
yeah i feel lowkey scarred from hearing her story and feel so bad for her. the least parents can do is tell a child the basic things they shouldn't do with a pet or at least make sure they're not alone with them to make impulsive decisions that they don't fully understand.
Yeah I’m right there with her, when I was around that age a little bit older actually I got hermit crabs too and I forgot about them resulting in them starving to death 😭 I have so much guilt. I’m such a big animal lover but I had no business looking after live hermit crabs as an 8 year old.
Too young for the responsibility? No hermit crabs are THE easiest pets to care for. I had hermit crabs at 5 years old and had no problems caring for them. And definitely knew better than to try to forcibly change their shells. And especially not smash them with a hammer!
@@ABD-br1wt obviously because you had parents who are smart enough to tell their kids not to smash their hermit crabs shell to change it and also watch over their kids
The steak story was legit the funniest dinner story I've heard in a while. I have been sitting in my office covering my mouth laughing hysterically and trying not to make a noise so my boss doesnt hear. Well done commentary lmao
omg i hate that dude writing pretending not to know what a potato is... his writing style reeks of 14-15 year old with no friends except books trying to look smart, let me tell you that part really got me, let me tell you i HATE when people beat around the bush and won't TELL THE DAMN STORY WITHOUT SAYING "I'LL TELL YOU IT IF YOU LET ME TELL IT" NO - JUST SAY IT JESUS
@@TenderNoodlebelieve it or not we had chat bots back in 2013. They all typed that way lol. AI has been around for decades but has only just now started to sound more natural and less stilted
oh the classic potato story. yeah so apparently it was a scene in a tv show, where the character genuinely didn't know what a potato was, but someone turned it into a reddit story and it went super viral. it's an absolute classic tho and i love seeing people coming across it for the first time.
I have a confession. Every day at precisely 12:00pm, I check RUclips to see if Cody Ko posted a video. I know, I’m sick. I can’t even enjoy lunch anymore without his presence. I’m addicted.
When I was a kid, we figured out that we could grab our hermit crabs by the claws and pull ever so slowly and the crab would come out of its shell without being harmed. WELL, we showed our cousin how to do it and he went too hard too fast and ripped both it's arms off and it died. We left the crabs alone after that.
okay in defense of the hermit crab killer: who the fuck gives a pet to a 5 year old😭😭 especially one as tiny as a hermit crab that has a life expectancy for up to 15 years?? getting a pet rock is a lost art bro
Pretty sure hermit crabs are easy to take care of, so long as you dont take a hammer to them. Probably a decent 'pet' for a kid like that in a family that cant have a dog/cat for allergy reasons.
@@IRanOutOfPhrasesthat’s actually not true. I work at a pet store and hermit crabs and betta fish and many other pets many adults think are good pets for kids. They are ph sensitive and require more space than most people anticipate. Pets aren’t here to entertain children most often than not most pets are better off for teens and adults because they can do research and put the time and money into what they need.
@@maxweiche4066add to that the danger of kids that age still learning to differentiate fact-based fiction, and fiction that's probably not realistic. Poor girl might've seen an episode of SpongeBob or something where a character's shell gets cracked and swapped. People think kids are just dumb, but there usually *is* a thought process there. Even advanced kids can have issues with this, especially if they have parents who make stuff up like the 1st story, or generally don't expose them to facts about the world.
the potato story reminded me of an embarrassing experience at my first job. My mom only really cooked the easiest options for my brothers and I growing up cause it was expensive to feed 3 kids. So when they pushed me to get a job at 15, I got one as a cashier at a local grocery chain. I was given a big book of all the produce codes to remember which was great, however I only knew produce by its name and code and not what it looked like. One time a woman came through with their daughter who was around my age and I asked the lady what an item was, she started laughing at me that it was celery and I was stupid to not know what it was. Her daughter started telling her "mom not all people know all vegetables" and the mom just kept laughing. I certainly know what celery and most produce is now, but it was a moment where the daughters kindness showed and all I felt was embarrassment and shame for now knowing or experiencing celery before
r u saying it's completely fake though? do i misunderstand copypastas in asking whether it's fake, like they can be from a real post or obvious trolling, right?
@@oceanbearmountain Copypastas sometimes originate as real stories that were just written so bizarrely that they become hilarious- often being written by a non-native speaker or by people who are too self-important to chill Some originate as fakes, though
The first story is hilarious because It reminds me of when on the show Ren and stimpy there was an episode where they claimed that one day all of the dinosaurs on Earth simultaneously burped farted and sneezed at the same time and then exploded resulting in their Extinction😂😂😂
Lmao. That 'baked potato' was turned into one of those fake animated stories. Jarvis Johnson did a video on that story a few years ago. Brings back memories.
4:06 Cody killing kids dreams and beliefs in this short little section. Kids advert your ears if you still want money under your pillow or Christmas presents under the tree! A keepable wife!
The accidental marriage confession is a good example of why communication matters!! Maybe if he just explained at the soonest possible moment that he didn't mean for her to think he was proposing, THEN he could tell her that he had been thinking about it and that he realizes this would be the best next chapter of his life, that he would be a fool to rescind a proposal. Frankly, I would never want to be married on accident. I would want someone to want me. 15 years of marriage is a long time, but people have gotten divorced after 50 years of marriage, so anything is possible. Be honest, folks! Edit: My god, the steak husband is another example of why communication matters. Like, bro, just TELL YOUR SERVER YOUR STEAK IS TOO RAW? 😭 His story is most definitely fake, but my god, he could have at least made an EFFORT.
Im sorry but it’s mostly her fault, she put him in a tough spot by just assuming. Usually in a proposal it’s known that they will have a quick speech before then get on their knee and verbally ask “will you marry me “.He did none of that. So I don’t really feel any empathy for her.
"why'd she think he was proposing" on which other occasion are you being given an expensive ring? Give her a necklace if you don't want her to misinterpret ffs
Holy shit i was just binge watching this series, BEGGING for the next part to come out soon and it drops just as im rewatching the last ep?! Cody my boy you are a blessing!
if my husband told me, fifteen years after we got married, that he didnt actually mean to propose to me, i'd think it was so fucking hilarious that i'd piss myself laughing
My lil' brother and I went to a movie with our parents. He was to cool to sit with us so he sat by himself in the middle of the theatre. With him being in front of us, we hear a sneeze and then the loudest fart I have ever heard in my life. It was lil' bro sitting there all by himself surrounded by shocked movie goers. I've never laughed so hard
As a child care worker and nanny of almost 5 years you can ABSOLUTELY lie to your 4 year old about letting them “have the weekend off of school” it’s not gonna harm them and the guy saying he doesn’t talk to his mom anymore “because she did stuff like [the mom in the OP]” has deeper rooted issues to address because the lie was equally as bad as being told to behave or else Santa won’t bring gifts.
I replied to an exact copy of this comment but that's probably a bot so: I agree that he probably has some deeper issues than some innocent lies but I really don't think it's good practice to lie to a kid. There are ways to be honest to them and get them to do what you need them to do. Kids pick up on that stuff. Better to teach honesty I think. But I've also never had a kid so I don't know the despair a parent may feel...
Santa is a thing that kids grow out of though. That kid is gonna talk to his friends one day about how they *also* have “2days off of school” and that it’s true for everyone.. That is a much bigger lie than santa ever was.
@anoukk_ Its a good sentiment but let me tell you as someone who works with kindergartners everyday, children are not logical. Lying to them is sometimes the only way to get through to them or get them to do what you want them to do. A child is more willing to eat their veggies when you tell them Princess Elsa delivered it to them and would be really sad if they didn't eat them than if you told them "they're healthy for you." You have to appeal to things they know and like or they simply don't understand/don't care. This is especially true when a child does not want to do something like take medicine. No amount of logic will convince a child to do something they don't want to do even if will literally keep them alive.
@@doid4354 you sound dumb 😭 a ten year old who still believes in Santa is gonna feel even dumber when his friends tell him Santa isn’t real than if they tell him there’s never been school on the weekend. One is a haha I tricked you into behaving and we both get to relax for two days versus you convincing your child a magical being flies in the sky and watches their every move. That’s worse 😭😭😭
Playing Dragon's Dogma yesterday and my helper guy said, "I'll take that" as he grabbed something from someone's barrel. All I could think was Cody exclaiming, "I'll be having that!"
OMG I just realized you unlocked a core memory with the Good Charlotte clip. Wowwww. This is the anthem throw all your hands up! Ahhhh brought me back to when mtv actually played music videos
That steak story got me an old-fashioned belly-laugh. And the only time I'll ever say I've been disappointed in Zade is because there was no Gollum Potato song. Up until now, I thought Zade was omnipotent.
the way cody joked about the girl smashing her hermit crab being a future serial killer meanwhile he had a story about ripping a live lobster in half with his bare hands is crazy
As an adult 😂
Not to mention he left the rest of the live lobsters in a bucket outside the trash can when he lives by the ocean 💀
@@TheArcticxRambothis part KILLLS ME
that lobster thing was the best confession of the whole series
I raw dogged a lobster
The boyfriend who pretended he didn't know what a potato was, sounds insufferable to talk to LMAO. The way he types is exhausting
Well, let me tell you-
STOPPPPP 😭😭😭
Somehow I think the potato thing was the last straw for the dad. Imagine him talking like that the whole evening and then making up weird potato lies
@@bradenblevins9437hey now
@@bradenblevins9437just say autistic for fuck sake
As someone who gets asked how I went blind on a daily basis... hearing taht first confession makes me really glad that my answer is just that I was born with a rare disease.
Molly!!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
How do you use your phone ?
@@bettertechenterprises4760 i think she uses text to speech to read stuff and voice to text for typing
OMG hi Molly!!
That first confession honestly sounds kind of like a story Paul would tell though, he always has the best embarrassing stories to share 😂
@@bettertechenterprises4760lots of accessibility options for the unseeing. Lots of videos explaining and it Molly has a few as well .
But pretty much use voice over, and the iPhone speaks out everything and you have certain places to tap for navigating and typing. Some of them are crazy fast at it it’s pretty incredible
That steak one is genuinely the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Think about it from an outside perspective, a man about to eat steak, then grabs it and throws it for absolutely no reason
I was laughing so hard when he said the steak story 😂 all I can imagine is being the wife and hearing the steak hit the window then realising my husband had just thrown it 😅
Fr, i didn’t laugh until that story came on and then i had to pause to let it all out
i’m literally eating lunch at work and had to try not to laugh. i accidentally let a few snorts escape and my cubicle neighbors were side-eyeing me. everything is funnier when you have to be quiet
i like my steak more on well-done side,,, if there is blood or lots of reddish juice, i just cant eat it,,, so i understand wanting to get rid of undercooked/raw steak
Knows the word “aghast” but can’t think of another phrase than “let me tell you”
It seemed like English wasn’t their native language so it baffles me even more
I think “let me tell you” is probably a common filler word in his native language (like the word like in English, or saying you know) and he just google translated it. Google translate also tends to translate words way more formal than they were intended which explains his thesaurus vocabulary.
Sounds like A.I. tbh
@@zarahsgarden2097 AI didn't exist back then, it's from like 2013 or some shit lol
I think it was a joke... But I could be wrong, let me tell you... I've been wrong before
The fact that it felt "not normal" when Cody walked through the room and didn't get smaller alarms me
literally
i thought it was just me fr
Fr 😭😭
BRUH HE LOOKS MASSIVE IM LOSING MY SHIT LMAO💀
It was edited to make him look bigger
It's okay, Cody. I am a lobster medium, I communicate with lobsters who are no longer with us. Derrek forgives you, Cody. He wants you to know that he's just glad his body gave you nourishment.
Me:How did the lobster die?
Medium: he was shot
🥹 aghh, that's _so_ Derrick! 🤧
🙏🏼 Rest in peace, King 🫡 👑🦞
@@jasonlavallee8195 Amazing reference brother
@@jasonlavallee8195 ''We lost the lobster''
Medium: Cody I'm sorry to tell you, he's been kidnapped but I'm sure you'll find him again
It warms my heart to see how heartily Cody has embraced goblin Core
I’LL BE HAVING THAT
The fact that the headphone warning is after it happened is so funny
I thought the same! lol I think he meant 3:01
@@anaiskermoal no i think it was a joke lol
the spoiler and headphone warnings happening after the fact kills me everytime
Dudeee same I thought the same
×2@@krishmakudiyalchamoli4192
"shit myself blind" is one of the funniest sentences I've heard in a long time
You can't just give someone you're in a relationship with an expensive ring without saying anything and expect them NOT to think it's a proposal 💀
exactly, and she was probably expecting it since they were together for 4 years already 😭
The story about lying to your kid reminded me of my friend’s story omg. Her mom told her that when ice cream trucks play music it’s because they ran out of ice cream. It took her forever to figure out the truth lmao
My parents told me this too and I know lots of people whose parents did this. It's unfortunately very common. My mum would also threaten to call the cops on me when I misbehaved 😭
my body will only accept food when cody uploads
Ok this is getting kind of annoying
I disagree shit made me chuckle
It truly doesn’t sit right eating lunch without a Cody Ko video, I’m conditioned fr 😂
@@SmallBoiWithEarsratio
Came looking for this comment 😂
the goblin “i’ll be having that” running joke always cracks me up
Best!
That’s now my favorite bit Cody does😂😂
SAME HAHA
Where's that from? 😭
@@AvaCuthberti think it’s from the first funny confessions video
the part where the potato guys gf's mom said "what are you doing?" killlleddd me lmfaoooo 😭
I was baked one day, watching TV, and just hanging out. The traffic noise was really loud. I picked up the remote, pointed at the window to turn down the traffic noise. Took me a solid 15 seconds to figure out why it wasn't working.😂😂
Getting “L divorce” on a random thursday afternoon after 30 years of my parents not being together is so rude 😂
Took the L there bud
not even divorced yet, 5 years separated this month💀
@@geturselfanoutfitmy parents haven’t loved each other since i was born lmfao, they aren’t divorced or separated but going to be soon so the L divorce made me giggle lol
@@lochnessii LMFAOO 😭
L divorce
The potato guy constantly saying "Let me tell you" and Cody getting more and more angry is the funniest thing ever😂
I counted 9 times he said that, let me tell you
It’s a fake story, watch Jarvis Johnson’s animated story videos
Cody can be the most chronically offline online person sometimes, not knowing the original potato story
What's the original?
Bro left us hangin’
No follow up huh? You really gave us a headline with no details
@@bramo5901It’s the same story, but maybe with less cuss words if I remember correctly. It’s thought to be fake and based on a concept for a sketch for a TV show (but not SNL).
8:20 "I don't have a great history with fuckin shellfish" - Cody Ko 2024
The amount of times I say "I'LL BE HAVING THAT" and cackle like Cody does is worth its own confession
Funniest thing that ever came out of this channel, which is saying a lot!
Me too!! And I say it in group situations as if its a common meme and then realize I’m the solo RUclipsr in my group and just sound like a creep
I was high at work and trying to have a normal conversation with a woman who had just started. I don't remember much, but I do remember saying "I'll be having that" with the little goblin voice and everything. She didn't come back the next day
@@finniandayLMAOO no way
The potato guy just sounds like someone that's hard to get along with
“L divorce” and “I wish my parents were still together” flashing across the screen 😂 I’m losing it
Cody casually trauma dumping the brutal murder of a lobster will never not be hilarious to me.
6:00 hermit crabs will change shells if you just put another one in the cage and it wants to change 😭
That’s cute. I wonder if they have preferences on shell color or pattern, like little hermit crab fashionistas
@@SorryImKindaShy They will actually Form a line from biggest crab to smallest when they find a new big shell, and do a shell trading party. Sounds fake but I just watched a BBC video on it to confirm, it's pretty adorable:P
Exactly thats what i thought
That makes the story even more sad, but it would be cool to do with a pet (letting them choose to migrate to new shell or not).
I really feel bad for her, because kids have incredibly dumb logic sometimes with no malice. She probably also misjudged her own strength (when paired with a heavy hammer). I can imagine her thinking she'd give it a tap to get enough of a crack to break the rest without crushing the poor dude.
Idk if I'm being too charitable or not but it seems like it wasn't on purpose and I really feel for her if thats true
You COULD also forcibly remove the crab gently from their shell and it will go in a new shell that you give them.
A hammer is NOT the way to do that. But it could be done so I was suprised that Cody was appalled by the idea of a 5 yr old doing that accidentally.
The way Cody responded that “It was a crab, that’s still kinda bad, but ya know it’s a crab,” makes me think he doesn’t really know what a hermit crab is. I would never really call a hermit crab just “a crab.” So I was weirded out by his response. Hermit crabs live very differently than other crabs.
i don’t think he’s faking the frat boy persona anymore
Wait you didn’t know it’s not fake 😭 he’s literally a dj homie
he’s a dj who was in a frat
I think he genuinely is the frattiest frat boy to ever frat
Oh honey he stands by grapists he's like, a *frat bro* frat bro
@@squishgod9094wdym??
Mr. Cody,
Please continue to make more of these videos about confessions. They make me laugh everytime and always make my day better no matter how stressed I am. I am not exaggerating when I say these type of videos are one of my favorite things in the entire world. Keep doing what you’re doing.
Best,
Drew
Mr. Drew,
You really thought we wouldn't know you were Danny huh?
Regards,
Cameron
Steak man saying “im so sorry, im such a klutz” had me ROLLINGGGGG i couldnt stop laughing at that excuse😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 that’s some cindy from scary movie type shit
14:00 my favorite way to shut someone down is "What do you think this will accomplish" because they have to stop whatever shenanigans they were doing and try to explain their logic, which usually reveals they had no plan to begins with. Very effective when used in the immature.
It’s also a great question to ask yourself before acting in a major way
it's right up there with "why did you think that was an appropriate thing to say/ask?"
@@ancientalien000 very true, although in my experience that phrasing can be just confrontational enough to make them get defensive.
@@reyrapids63sounds sad asf, imagine asking someone making a joke "what do you think this will accomplish" ☠️
@@morg7163 When a joke is good there's no reason to ask because the answer is obvious.
The panic of being randomly slapped in the street by a wet raw steak is just hilarious to imagine.
I’ve seen napoleon dynamite so I’d be prepared for the possibility
If it happened to me I’d go home, cook it and say “someone knew I was hungry” 😂😂😂
that one was fake af and if it was real, why tf didnt he just ask to cook it a bit longer lmao
I keep imagining that the person hit is vegan and they Freak Out!! Haha!
In one of the books, Sherlock Holmes once said that the events of real life pale in comparison to anything anyone could write in fiction. He literally said you would be more interested raising the roofs of London and peering in. These videos, more than anything else, make me agree.
I like how somehow Cody has never heard of these when they are like the most famous of confession stories
That’s what I was thinking as soon as the potato story started lmfao
Thank you editor Zade for keeping that clip in of Cody wallowing in shame over the "not you being a wizard" joke 💀 It's giving the same energy as his self conscious DJ set ad libs "yeah baby"
The steak one had me bursting in tears. It is not how i expected that story to go at all lmao. Its straight out of a comedy
IM SAYIN
sorry but that one was fake
@@Morgan-Zolko proof?
The level of panic that guy felt from the first story… I can’t imagine the adrenaline, fear etc. like a car wreck and caching the whole house on fire level of momentary panic.
When two unfortunate bodily functions occur at the same time it's always fun to say you took a screenshot, highly recommend to alleviate the tension in the room. Can be used for fart/cough/burp/hiccup/snot/sneeze/piss/vom combos
Piss and vomit at the same time? 🤨😭
@@Random-sk6hm you don't? 😭💀
The line, "I'm a sick man; I can't stop making bangers" should unironically be used in a verse in the next song Cody drops. Just imagine that with one of his sick ass beats in the backgroud.
not a bad idea
I love this idea
Hermit crabs don't grow a shell of their own, so they find discarded shells, climb into them and hold on to the inside with some of their legs. When they outgrow the shell, they look for a bigger shell and then move into it like a new apartment. That's why they're called hermit crabs-they live in someone elses abandoned shell.
The girl must have splattered the actual crab with the hammer, because breaking only the shell would have been annoying to the crab but not lethal.
Probably, I don't think children got any dexterity with a hammer.
yeah, a 5 year old isn’t the best at managing their power and probably thought the shell was much more durable and rigid than it is. it’s actually sad
:(((
This is why you don’t trust 5 year olds with animals 😭
I was thinking this
Another Crab's Treasure...
These confessions are quickly becoming the best segments. Literally shit yourself blind is a sentence I didn't know I needed in my life.
You should bring Kelsey on one I think she'd love it.
21:29 I weirdly do not laugh out loud when I'm watching something alone, but the combination of this story + Cody's visual descriptions got me screaming at this one 🤣
‘Noooo this cannot be true’ is my new stim
The underwhelming New Zealander voice is sending me 😭
Cody entering dad mode changing lives. So funny. Leveling up.
With the autograph one, I was one of the first Patreon subs of TMG back in the day and because of that they sent out some pins and a signed poster. Even if they didn’t actually sign it the thought that they personally signed my poster makes me so happy
Aside from just requesting the steak to be cooked longer, why wouldn’t he “drop” his plate on the floor 😂
Let me tell you, this is an exquisite motion picture to dine with whilst I eat lunch
“sorry about the slam that must have hurt your ears” *slams tables again* made me laugh so hard
Cody, me and my husband now often yell “I’ll be having that!” 😂
We love when you say it!! 🎉😂❤
The serotonin boost I get when I start gut laughing with Cody is impeccable
Lmao I was literally screaming at my phone "YOU RIPPED APART A LOBSTER!" before he told that story
Were you literally screaming at your phone though? Were you 🤨
@@nebx2127 I was!
@@nebx2127 have some silly for once in your life
have some silly
@@watermoof4914have some silly
I have one for you: I caught my 5 year old son holding a crayon and pretending he was smoking,
I burst into the room with a shocked expression, knocked the crayon out of my child's hand, and with panic in my voice said, "Stop that! You can't do that!"
When he asked my why I said, with the most serious, deepest compassionate look I could muster, "Oh son! I'm so sorry, but you were born a non-smoker!"
That lie held until high school when older, more experienced pressuring peers told him that was just silly.
"More experienced pressuring peers" is my new favourite line.
The only flaw in an otherwise perfect plan
11:58 how does this have incredibly intricate wording while also having terrible grammar at the same time?? 😂 it’s like a child wrote a story and corrected it with ai 😂😂😂
It kind of reads like a foreigner wrote it. I think he said "interesting" instead of "interested" for example. If he uses a dictionary for example, that would explain why he uses uncommon / unnatural words.
I once dated someone who insisted on speaking English though we both spoke french, and he also had similar grammar but occasionally he would come up with really unnatural vocabulary words
It's how I used to write in middle school to fill space in an essay 😂
The guy who shit himself blind and the steak throwing story legit made me laugh harder than I've laughed in months. My stomach hurts now.
I feel so bad for the girl that killed her hermit crab. She was way too young for the responsibility of that pet, and the resulting trauma her smashing it has caused. RIP Blossom
yeah i feel lowkey scarred from hearing her story and feel so bad for her. the least parents can do is tell a child the basic things they shouldn't do with a pet or at least make sure they're not alone with them to make impulsive decisions that they don't fully understand.
Right the neighbor girls up my street drowned their hamster 😢
Yeah I’m right there with her, when I was around that age a little bit older actually I got hermit crabs too and I forgot about them resulting in them starving to death 😭 I have so much guilt. I’m such a big animal lover but I had no business looking after live hermit crabs as an 8 year old.
Too young for the responsibility? No hermit crabs are THE easiest pets to care for. I had hermit crabs at 5 years old and had no problems caring for them. And definitely knew better than to try to forcibly change their shells. And especially not smash them with a hammer!
@@ABD-br1wt obviously because you had parents who are smart enough to tell their kids not to smash their hermit crabs shell to change it and also watch over their kids
The steak story was legit the funniest dinner story I've heard in a while. I have been sitting in my office covering my mouth laughing hysterically and trying not to make a noise so my boss doesnt hear. Well done commentary lmao
The potato story left me with more questions than answers and mildly bewildered.
thanks cody for putting a headphone warning for 2:51 at at 2:56 really saved my ears right there ! 🙏🏼
lmao, I was so confused when the warning popped up
Cody bringing up that lobster again is priceless bro really is scarred😂😂😂
Yeah man that shit is horrifying. I'm scarred just from hearing it.
omg i hate that dude writing pretending not to know what a potato is... his writing style reeks of 14-15 year old with no friends except books
trying to look smart, let me tell you
that part really got me, let me tell you
i HATE when people beat around the bush and won't TELL THE DAMN STORY WITHOUT SAYING "I'LL TELL YOU IT IF YOU LET ME TELL IT"
NO - JUST SAY IT JESUS
It’s an old Reddit story generated by AI, from a content farm by a non English speaking company.
@@user-wm4ot5kk5bthe story is from a long time ago though, so it can’t have been written by ai. It is probably fake tho
Clearly english isn't his first language but go off
@@user-wm4ot5kk5bI think the person who wrote that was just autistic
@@TenderNoodlebelieve it or not we had chat bots back in 2013. They all typed that way lol. AI has been around for decades but has only just now started to sound more natural and less stilted
love cody’s soft launch of being a hat wearer
The steak story has me in actual tears.
oh the classic potato story. yeah so apparently it was a scene in a tv show, where the character genuinely didn't know what a potato was, but someone turned it into a reddit story and it went super viral. it's an absolute classic tho and i love seeing people coming across it for the first time.
I’m trying to find the original but can’t? Do you know the show’s name?
@@DrMocktopus1 it’s called Cuckoo the one with Andy Samberg
I have a confession. Every day at precisely 12:00pm, I check RUclips to see if Cody Ko posted a video. I know, I’m sick. I can’t even enjoy lunch anymore without his presence. I’m addicted.
Is that really you in your pic?
@@DonnaMathers yes
When I was a kid, we figured out that we could grab our hermit crabs by the claws and pull ever so slowly and the crab would come out of its shell without being harmed. WELL, we showed our cousin how to do it and he went too hard too fast and ripped both it's arms off and it died. We left the crabs alone after that.
god i love when i’ve clocked out of youtube for like 2 weeks and then i get on here and have so much new cody content
okay in defense of the hermit crab killer:
who the fuck gives a pet to a 5 year old😭😭 especially one as tiny as a hermit crab that has a life expectancy for up to 15 years?? getting a pet rock is a lost art bro
Pretty sure hermit crabs are easy to take care of, so long as you dont take a hammer to them.
Probably a decent 'pet' for a kid like that in a family that cant have a dog/cat for allergy reasons.
@@IRanOutOfPhrasesthat’s actually not true. I work at a pet store and hermit crabs and betta fish and many other pets many adults think are good pets for kids. They are ph sensitive and require more space than most people anticipate. Pets aren’t here to entertain children most often than not most pets are better off for teens and adults because they can do research and put the time and money into what they need.
and say it again for those in the back fr!!!!!
I knew a two yo with a pet hermit crab named Toe. I think they’re considered easy starter pets
@@maxweiche4066add to that the danger of kids that age still learning to differentiate fact-based fiction, and fiction that's probably not realistic. Poor girl might've seen an episode of SpongeBob or something where a character's shell gets cracked and swapped.
People think kids are just dumb, but there usually *is* a thought process there. Even advanced kids can have issues with this, especially if they have parents who make stuff up like the 1st story, or generally don't expose them to facts about the world.
the potato story reminded me of an embarrassing experience at my first job. My mom only really cooked the easiest options for my brothers and I growing up cause it was expensive to feed 3 kids. So when they pushed me to get a job at 15, I got one as a cashier at a local grocery chain. I was given a big book of all the produce codes to remember which was great, however I only knew produce by its name and code and not what it looked like. One time a woman came through with their daughter who was around my age and I asked the lady what an item was, she started laughing at me that it was celery and I was stupid to not know what it was. Her daughter started telling her "mom not all people know all vegetables" and the mom just kept laughing. I certainly know what celery and most produce is now, but it was a moment where the daughters kindness showed and all I felt was embarrassment and shame for now knowing or experiencing celery before
thank god that daughter had an ounce of common sense that her mother didn't.
cody please never stop making these
23:10 nah I believe it. Introverts would do ANYTHING to avoid confrontation or just telling anyone anything that’s not overwhelmingly positive lol
Cody not realizing the potato thing is some copypasta is fucking killing me
r u saying it's completely fake though? do i misunderstand copypastas in asking whether it's fake, like they can be from a real post or obvious trolling, right?
@@oceanbearmountain Copypastas sometimes originate as real stories that were just written so bizarrely that they become hilarious- often being written by a non-native speaker or by people who are too self-important to chill
Some originate as fakes, though
Let me tell you...
This was a pretty good, entertaining, amusing video.
“atleast you know what a potato is” is a phrase i’m going to use in casual conversation
The first story is hilarious because It reminds me of when on the show Ren and stimpy there was an episode where they claimed that one day all of the dinosaurs on Earth simultaneously burped farted and sneezed at the same time and then exploded resulting in their Extinction😂😂😂
he CHUCKED THE STeak INTO THE WINDOW. I am crying. omfg .
Its something straight out of a comedy its so funny lmao
Lmao. That 'baked potato' was turned into one of those fake animated stories. Jarvis Johnson did a video on that story a few years ago. Brings back memories.
I was wondering for a while where I've heard that story before!
It started as a tumblr post. It been stolen and sent around the internet for years.
NO BC ITS SO UNREALISTIC TOO 😭 Like if that happened in my house we would be CLOWNING on that guy.
‘L divorce’ 4:22 thanks Zade 😢😂
4:06
Cody killing kids dreams and beliefs in this short little section.
Kids advert your ears if you still want money under your pillow or Christmas presents under the tree! A keepable wife!
The accidental marriage confession is a good example of why communication matters!! Maybe if he just explained at the soonest possible moment that he didn't mean for her to think he was proposing, THEN he could tell her that he had been thinking about it and that he realizes this would be the best next chapter of his life, that he would be a fool to rescind a proposal.
Frankly, I would never want to be married on accident. I would want someone to want me. 15 years of marriage is a long time, but people have gotten divorced after 50 years of marriage, so anything is possible. Be honest, folks!
Edit: My god, the steak husband is another example of why communication matters. Like, bro, just TELL YOUR SERVER YOUR STEAK IS TOO RAW? 😭 His story is most definitely fake, but my god, he could have at least made an EFFORT.
Im sorry but it’s mostly her fault, she put him in a tough spot by just assuming. Usually in a proposal it’s known that they will have a quick speech before then get on their knee and verbally ask “will you marry me “.He did none of that. So I don’t really feel any empathy for her.
@@lorymichelle4838 yeah, how can you just assume someone is proposing to you? he didn't even get to say "will you marry me?" like are you kidding??
For the steak story I'm pretty sure their wasn't a server. They were in the bosses apartment and she was the one who had cooked the food.
"why'd she think he was proposing" on which other occasion are you being given an expensive ring? Give her a necklace if you don't want her to misinterpret ffs
Holy shit i was just binge watching this series, BEGGING for the next part to come out soon and it drops just as im rewatching the last ep?! Cody my boy you are a blessing!
Let me tell you, I was aghast by how comical and humorous this video was, let me tell you.
if my husband told me, fifteen years after we got married, that he didnt actually mean to propose to me, i'd think it was so fucking hilarious that i'd piss myself laughing
Real
My lil' brother and I went to a movie with our parents. He was to cool to sit with us so he sat by himself in the middle of the theatre.
With him being in front of us, we hear a sneeze and then the loudest fart I have ever heard in my life. It was lil' bro sitting there all by himself surrounded by shocked movie goers. I've never laughed so hard
Thank god Cody uploaded, I almost spent my lunch watching a teen confess to murdering a 98 year old.
I watched that yesterday. I do not recommend 😭
what is this about??
Why don’t you recommend 😳😳😳
Cody walking and yelling as the Dad was hysterical!
That potato 🥔 bit is the type that you have to take the first available exit and confess for it to be funny
I was just sitting down to smoke a big fat blunt Cody, thank you
That first confession was so fucking funny that all the rest paled in comparison. Damn, I haven't laughed that much in a while
Thanks. My boyfriend laughed so hard, water came out if his nose all over my laptop charger.
My confession is that I've never had lunch while watching a Cody Ko video
I tried once but he talked so much about diarrhea that I couldn't eat my lunch. 🤣 lesson learned I just watch before or after meals lmao
lolll you picked the worst video of his to watch with lunch
@@isetyourfriendsonfireI'm having diarrhea while watching this video
I am european T-T
Cody wearing a hat that says ‘Sunday club’ is somehow proof that he is now, in fact, a dad.
it says sunnyday club but alas
@@inferno7289 the price I pay for not wearing my glasses
yes! Cody please keep pumping these out!
Cody I truly appreciate the consistent videos to watch while I’m eating
As a child care worker and nanny of almost 5 years you can ABSOLUTELY lie to your 4 year old about letting them “have the weekend off of school” it’s not gonna harm them and the guy saying he doesn’t talk to his mom anymore “because she did stuff like [the mom in the OP]” has deeper rooted issues to address because the lie was equally as bad as being told to behave or else Santa won’t bring gifts.
I replied to an exact copy of this comment but that's probably a bot so:
I agree that he probably has some deeper issues than some innocent lies but I really don't think it's good practice to lie to a kid. There are ways to be honest to them and get them to do what you need them to do. Kids pick up on that stuff. Better to teach honesty I think. But I've also never had a kid so I don't know the despair a parent may feel...
Santa is a thing that kids grow out of though. That kid is gonna talk to his friends one day about how they *also* have “2days off of school” and that it’s true for everyone.. That is a much bigger lie than santa ever was.
@anoukk_ Its a good sentiment but let me tell you as someone who works with kindergartners everyday, children are not logical. Lying to them is sometimes the only way to get through to them or get them to do what you want them to do. A child is more willing to eat their veggies when you tell them Princess Elsa delivered it to them and would be really sad if they didn't eat them than if you told them "they're healthy for you." You have to appeal to things they know and like or they simply don't understand/don't care. This is especially true when a child does not want to do something like take medicine. No amount of logic will convince a child to do something they don't want to do even if will literally keep them alive.
@@doid4354 you sound dumb 😭 a ten year old who still believes in Santa is gonna feel even dumber when his friends tell him Santa isn’t real than if they tell him there’s never been school on the weekend. One is a haha I tricked you into behaving and we both get to relax for two days versus you convincing your child a magical being flies in the sky and watches their every move. That’s worse 😭😭😭
@@Gyowei literally 😭
Playing Dragon's Dogma yesterday and my helper guy said, "I'll take that" as he grabbed something from someone's barrel. All I could think was Cody exclaiming, "I'll be having that!"
I just wanna say you've pavloved me. Everytime I sit down to eat, I have to watch one of your videos. Without fail lmao.
OMG I just realized you unlocked a core memory with the Good Charlotte clip. Wowwww. This is the anthem throw all your hands up! Ahhhh brought me back to when mtv actually played music videos
shitting myself blind 🤝 new fear unlocked
11:34 “Just tell it.” PEAK COMEDY
Love when Cody drops while I’m at work so I have something funny to put on soon as I’m home 🙌
That steak story got me an old-fashioned belly-laugh.
And the only time I'll ever say I've been disappointed in Zade is because there was no Gollum Potato song. Up until now, I thought Zade was omnipotent.
when cody makes a joke from the jump and then laughs i know i’m in for a good time