People like you. They don't need you to pretend to be happy all the time. That's not what they fell in love with! They saw a kindred spirit, and your hope and strength. My advice: *Keep going. *Do another Ren interview, about mental health. You could do a series on it! And then write music cos of the muse that still finds a way to amuse you when life is bemusing! *Take lots of vitamin D. *Find a hug somewhere, cos I can't give you one from all the way here in England! 💖 *Look up SAD (seasonal affective disorder) ... Are magic mushroom legal in Canada? lol
I don't have any and it's illegal to pick them in the UK, so I think you can only get them into your system legally if you go to a cow field in autumn and eat them off of the ground... Bit late for that. But vitamin D is good!
An extremely eclectically English set of words of advice! It amused me as it’s personal choice and I sense the good will in here. I’m in the uk I’m sending tight hugs to surround yourself and your loved ones xxx
Kiddo. Overwhelmed is an understatement… Pressure is an understatement… Grief is an understatement.. You got hit big with loss.. I’m glad you shared… sending you all the good vibes and healing.
Knox, I know how you feel. I lost my sister right before Halloween. She and I were the last people still alive from the family I was born into. Her son passed away from bone cancer when he was 31, and my sis never got over her loss. Now I am here alone. This is a whole 'nother level of loneliness. You do good, Knox, you really do. I understand the feelings, and the anxiety that creeps in at night. You'll be okay, I swear it, and so will I .
Hey man, read your comment. I too am the last living member of my family and it sucks balls. We have to keep on not because of the loss, but in spite of it. We have a whole family name to make proud by ourselves, lets give it our best :)
I'm so sorry. My fiancé passed on Sept. 1st. I lost my father 10yrs ago and I thought that there would never be another grief as deep and awful, but now I realize that every person will be different. This time I can barely function outwardly.. I hope that ur doing well and I wish you all of the strength and happiness in the world ❤
@@elsvaughn7959 I'm vey sorry for your loss, @elsvaughn. I cannot imagine losing a fiancé. If something happened to my s/o, I do not know what I'd do. You are brave, and when the time comes, you will know you are stronger than you ever thought you could be. I also wish you all the strength and happiness in the world. It will come. I know it sounds silly, but when I'm feeling down, I listen to Ren's song "Power." It helps me. Take care of yourself!
Fuuuuuuu. I'm commenting as Im listening. Bruh im sorry for your loss. The fentanyl is why I'm in school and working with substance use disorder. I got tired of hearing about people dying
@@ZeCahli thank you. Our culture is hungry for mental health awareness. True meaning and not labels to wear like badges. Artists like Knox, Ren, nf and so on are filling that void.
I'm 71 and most of my family is gone now. Wife, Son, and Brother are all that's left of the close part of my family. I understand your pain. Just remember that people out here love what you produce as well as the kind of man you are. Especially sorrowful about your cousin. God bless him and his family. Rooting for you, friend.
I am 61 and all my family is gone. My husband, parents (I had no siblings or even cousins - parents were only children, or children of my own) so holidays especially are hard. Treasure every minute - don’t have any regrets about not spending an enough time with them (even if it’s just the phone). Hugs.
Watched my dad die on the carpet in our home. The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming. We couldn't help him. I still struggle with the visions of that day. You got this lovely, day by day. Much love ❤
I read this and almost cried. Had a similar experience myself...... That helpless feeling. I can still feel it when I think on it. Ok, now Imma cry. Thanks for sharing though.
Knox, dude... I love you man! It has to be said... What you have created here on this platform; the community you have built, the honest, insightful, Knox Hill certified, from the heart reactions and the music you create because of your love for music has meant that, those who appreciate those qualities and that kind of content have just naturally gravitated towards you. I personally found you through Ren reaction videos and I just loved your reactions! I've since watched a lot of other reactions and you just pick up on so much more it really makes me think with a more open mindset for everything. I also love the relationship you have formed with Ren through your love of music and the similarities of your journeys as independent artists. You and Ren, to me are cut from the same cloth. Your empathy towards others, your connection to your own emotions and your ability to be open and vulnerable, both through videos like this and the music you create, is a real inspiration to those who gravitate towards you Knox! It's a massive, unquantifiable comfort to know people like you are out there making the content you do and music independently because it means its 100% REAL and untainted by big corporate labels. Its true Knox Hill. That goes far deeper than just entertainment for me. So, I believe it should, and does go full circle Knox. As a fan of yours and Ren's, what your content has done for me personally and to the betterment of my outlook on life, I owe it to you to somehow pay it back! So, here goes... Remember Knox... You are only human. You are allowed to grieve and to struggle. You are allowed to rely on others when life gets too much. I missed the opportunity to see my Grandma the day before she passed of bowel cancer and it crushed me at the time. That was around 12yrs ago now, it was hard to take at the time but what I'm left with now is purely happy memories of time spent with my Grandma growing up. When the grief subsides, it gets easier because the happy memories remain so strong. At least that's my personal experience. I think as you get older, it does get easier. You've just had a triple whammy of grief so no wonder you are struggling Knox. Just remember to take time for yourself though Knox to grieve and to heal. Lastly... Keep being you man and keep doing what you're doing and when times get tough, don't hesitate to lean on us like this because we will always be here for you dude ✌
That was some real a$$ ish right there man. Made me tear up. Well said. We got love for u Knox and I'm not just saying that to be saying that. I, we mean it my guy.
I lost my husband, my mother, my best friend and my cousin in under 18 months. I'll never be the same again. Trying to raise 5 grieving children while I grieve has been the biggest challenge of my life. Losing my husband especially has shattered my life. Repeat losses hit so hard. It is surviving one day at a time.
I am so sorry for your losses 🙏 Yes, day by day is all we can do, especially when others are relying on us. Keep going, keep fighting, keep just being, even if it’s just going through the motions. You are appreciated 🖤
Thanks for sharing that! If a psychotherapist can give some advice: Take your time to process thoroughly, Knox! It will pay off. Sometimes the strongest thing is to allow yourself to be weak. In these times, self care is no luxury, its the crucial skill! There's a time to work your ass off and there's a time to be still and process things - for the benefit of yourself and all around you. Also as a role model for your kids... Again: thank you so much for your honesty. Your'e great man! Wish you all the best❣
Well said. I concur. I'd add to it: grief doesn't mean you're going back to depression. Grief is intense emotion you just have to go through. It's like an ocean, which goes over you, time and time again. But you're still on the beach, not in the ocean, let alone the ocean. From time to time, maybe when the wave goes back, try to feel the rock underneath, the rock you are sitting on. And feel yourself. Breathe. The rock will stay. You will stay. And when it is the time, the tide turns. It always does. But for now: just let the waves wash you. Eventually they carry your tears, so they become parts of that ocean. All humans have some of theirs in it. Sorry, cannot find right words now. I just send you a big hug, Knox. Give that time to yourself. ❤ And we don't need you to be always positive and have the power and whatever. Just be you.
@@sateentuoksuAs someone who has felt the grief of losing a parent every day and every year since 2007, especially around the important times of the year, including her thannaversary, you found the words beautifully.
@@khills Sorry for your loss and pain. I wish it gets easier each year. The parent is in your heart, always. But pain - I hope it starts to loosen its grip. ❤️
Sorry for your losses. Take care of yourself and your family 1st and foremost. If you are not feeling the reaction stuff please don't fake it on our behalf out of a sense of obligation or responsibility. If you decide you need to take a break to regroup, recharge, and heal we will all be here when you get back.
And also.. i'm thinking if it's really a must to do reactions always like that. (Though they are brilliant and you surely have some special gift in hearing all the things and hidden treasures in music and lyrics). Maybe it is time to let the music just touch and heal you? Carry you and your sorrows. Maybe we as watchers wouldn't wait for you to always do it like you've done before, and have the strength to do so. Maybe just staying together in some emotions the music gives space to, is also valuable. ❤ There's times for this and times for that.
I feel ya brother. This old sailor has been dealing with the death of a daughter in Jan 2021 who died from fentanyl. I’ve been dealing with cancer and how the treatments destroyed me, but I push on, and honestly I don’t know why at times. Im still grieving too. I tell myself a lot, no retreat, no surrender and when going through Hell, keep on going. You got this brother, you can always reach out. God bless.
Oh, you sweet, sweet man. You’ve always been so honest and genuine. Never feel like you can’t come here for support. I lost my 25 year old husband to a one time relapse, after being clear off heroin for 5 years, in 2015. Lost my dad 9 months before that. And on and on. It’s hard. We can’t get through this alone. You do what you need to do to take care of you and yours. We will be here.
Knox, thank you for sharing. I'm 74 next month son and I am here only for those that still need me.. I lost my first and last born sons, made it through open heart surgery and a critical illness. LIFE is an obligation we have to all we hold dear. Some have left us long before they are gone, drifting through existence, and those who survive against all odds, such as Ren. So, you could say I have adopted you and Ren to help me survive my own pain. You both remind me of what I lost and believe it or not, it brings me joy.
Wow. A few things here hit pretty hard. i feel like you've just laid out some hard-earned wisdom. Rather than giving voice to the half dozen rambling, loosely connected thoughts your comment has sparked in my head, let me confine myself to asking you this: How are *you* doing, @docdurdin?
I rarely comment. But this one got me. You are a good man Knox. I’m in my late 30’s and I get the stress of “everyone is counting on you, how do I grieve when everyone needs me to be the strong one?” You’ve got a stellar community, and I wish I could contribute more than just watching videos and sharing your songs. With that being said, I can say you’ve had a positive impact on my life as a “random internet stranger”. It’s okay to feel down and take a step back, heck maybe you can get some good songs out of the situation. And I’m not saying that in a mean way at all, music heals. My personal outlet is video games/streaming and it’s fun to interact with my community because I never put on an act. I am me, I’ll always be me. Maybe find a game to play? Hug the family you’ve got. I’m not going to give ya some Bulls*** reply like “it’ll all get better in the end” or something generic like that. Even the days when you’re just going through the motions; sometimes that’s all you CAN do. You’ve built a wonderful community and I know I can speak for others when I say “We got you, let us know what we can do”. I am in your discord even though I don’t talk much. But at the end of the day all I can say is “keep on, brotha. Hit me (us) up if ya need an outlet”.
Beautifully said and 100% echo these sentiments - we are all here for you Knox & will support you through these tough times. Take whatever time you need & we’ll be here waiting for you ❤❤❤❤
I'm a month away from turning 50, in the past 15 years I've lost some people very close that caused this statement to even hit harder than it did already. When your other family is counting on you, It feels like it's your time to push harder and fill that void they have. Meanwhile you never get a chance to grieve yourself. Next thing you know you're 50 and there are some close relatives that are having health issues while other younger siblings you can tell are not prepared in life yet. What do you do.... life goes by so fast.
I lost my uncle right before Christmas. That man was like my father. He taught me everything I needed to know to be a man in this world. He was diagnosed with a rare form of dementia. He went from normal, to gone in under 2 years. It hit harder than I could have ever imagined. All we can do is keep moving forward, and do our best to make those we lost proud. Keep your head up, you’re not alone in these battles.
Right now you need to take the time to care for your family and yourself. Don't push yourself into an emotional breakdown by overworking on top of everything going on in your life. If you need to take a break from creating videos then do that. We will all be here when you return. We all need to make time to care for ourselves or we will break and it will take much longer to heal. Big Squishy Hugs from this Big Squishy Grandma in Oregon.
So sorry for your losses. 2023 was unfortunately a year of so much loss for so many people. I lost my son (stillbirth) and my dog on the same day and it crushed me. I'm getting through, but as you said, it's a fight to pull through the grief. My son's name is Casey, which means "brave", so I am sending you a little of his courage and strength to go through this period of grief. Take care my friend.
So very Sorry for the losses of your babies. Stillbirth mom here sending you love 💜 I lost my daughter, Emma, at 40 weeks in 2021. It’s a grief battle and we pull through, one day at a time. Sending a big hug 🫂
@@juliaullrich2630 Thank you and so sorry for your loss as well. I've found that there are so many more people that have gone through this than I ever thought. Mine was a second trimester loss due to IC.
This may get loss in the wash, and you probably have many followers that feel this way too...but... I don't really have the biggest social group, and honestly, I probably have more people I follow daily on RUclips than actual friends. We may have never met, but I watch a lot of your content. You are a constant in my life, more so than most. In that weird way, I could say you're a friend to me. As a friend, I get where you are coming from. But you need you time. We, as a community of followers, get that you feel the need to keep working to either distract or emote through these hard times. I'm at a loss of words for your loss. and now I'm fumbling for words. Greive the way you need to. We appreciate you. Take your time. My condolences.
Sending love brother - if you need anything at all!... I lost a friend last week from a Fentanyl OD, and I can def understand losing family members. All you can do is celebrate who you've lost and embrace those you have.
So sorry for your loss, too, Zack. So many vulnerable people are lost for good before they can find their way out. Thinking of all those who loved them. ❤
Wow that’s such a powerful statement. I’ve done those things but never really let it sink in til I read it out loud. Celebrate those you’ve lost and embrace those you have. Sorry for your loss. I hope you feel better too🥰🥹
Loss is a heavy burden, I've lost my grandfather, grandmother and my father within 3 months. It is not easy, no one can carry hurt like that on their own. If you see this, i hope you seek help with a mental health care professional. not just for yourself, but for your family too. If you need help, seek it out, don't suffer alone. There's no shame in needing help. You're not alone in feeling the way you're feeling. We are right there with you. Stay strong and keep fighting
I once read this and it really stuck with me- "There are three needs of the griever: To find the words for the loss, to say the words aloud, and to know that the words have been heard." Knox, I can't claim to know what you're going through, but I do want you to know that you've got people that both hear you & are here for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. ♡
I know I've binged some Knox videos on days that I'm struggling. And I've rewatched many just because you are spectacular with your reactions and with your music. I lost my dad 10 years ago, and I still have days that I feel like i am trying to keep my head above water. You aren't just some content creator to everyone here. We see you, dude. And we love you. Love to you, your wife and family. Hold onto them and take the time to go through it. I am positive something good will come from all of this grief. You're a total superman for still being here for everyone. ❤
Dearest Knox, I am so glad that you have taken us into your trust to share this with us. Thank you for that. In us you have this massive extended family and so many of your followers including me have sent you so many virtual hugs and so much love. I have been through a lot of relentless stuff the last few years including two family deaths and being executor to both family members and something that is now helping me considerably to move out of negative morning thoughts is the realization that we can change our thoughts and help our situation in 17 seconds every morning. Its hard at first but once it gets going and you see it working in your life it really, really helps. For 17 seconds as soon as possible after waking sit by yourself and think of something that you would like to see in your life such as money or a team or money to pay for a team and all you have to do is imagine that is true for 17 seconds - Feel the feeling you would feel if it did happen. I have manifested amazing things doing this. I hope that helps you Knox and anyone else ❤
You're in good company, my past few years have been hell and I've barely held myself together. Things will get better, they never feel like it when you're going through it but they do. Everything is a season, there is always sunshine after the rain. I appreciate you and all the work you put in on this channel, I appreciate you getting on here and speaking about not just the positive part of life, we're all here. ❤
If that helps you I've been going through depression for a few years now. I'm 29 right now and your videos are such a relief. It's my confort place so just wanted to say thank you for everything man. You're doing amazing work to many people's mental health
Authenticity, for an artist, is more important than the loyalty of your fans. You are a shining example of a man dedicated to knowing their true self in a discipline of being genuine🌟 Be gentle with your self, it's the only self you've got!
I’m proud of you for reaching out for support. We’re all in this together. I’m almost 60 now and ran marathons and ultras up until a couple years ago. My mantra on those runs….relentless forward progress. Sometimes that’s the mantra for life too. Just keep moving forward. Try to find the smallest bit of joy in the most mundane moment. Those glimmers of hope are there. Just keep moving. Big hug from a mom and grandma. ❤
Ive been here for years and believe me Knox im not just speaking when i say we're here for (with) you. Thanks for the update and i hope you are able to cope with all the tough times Atm. Ive been drug free 5 years and have seen hundreds of people i know fall from the same thing. Maintain that mental health and keep your head up. I got nothing but appreciation for yours work. Take care bro 2024 is gonna be a banger.
You're not alone, Knox.. being dealt blow after blow is very tough.. we all deal with loss and grief in our own way. Take your time with it.. I remember something your friend Ren stated, and I'm paraphrasing.. if you're angry, understand it, be with it, let it go, and give yourself love. In some cases, I have to believe we can replace keywords in what Ren said with words that fit for you, Knox.. Hugs to you and your family.
As I’ve learned no matter how many people say they “understand how you feel” nobody will, all we can do is show love and pray for y’all. God bless brother my deepest condolences for your loss.
Knox once again you’ve helped me with major depression and trauma that I’ve been dealing with, I just got out of a very abusive marriage that I was stuck in for a long time , thankfully my kids and I got out and we are safe now, but dealing with the residual affects of that is very traumatic and life altering, I will be getting therapy but I can’t tell you how much videos like this that you’ve made have helped me, even just the little tidbits at the end of your videos where you say “ your not alone “ have helped me more than you’ll EVER know, because I know that you mean every word, I was so suicidal tonight, the silence gets so loud at night and its hard to deal with these thoughts when your completely alone, but watching this and reading these comments helped me realize I will NEVER be alone thanks to this BEAUTIFUL community of survivors and thrivers , props to y’all man, thank you to EVERYONE in the comments section, each and every one of you have helped by sharing your stories, and thank you once again for sharing yours Knox and for making this video, idk if anyone else feels like it saved their lives but I certainly feel like it helped save mine because I wasn’t in a good place tonight before watching this, much love to you Knox and this community, peace ✌🏻 and love ❤️
4 years to the day that I lost my Mom. I am thankful I was able to talk to her and say goodbye, but it still beats me up. I feel you brother, try to keep your chin up. You got this dawg
There are thousands of people rooting for you Knox . You have always been a source of strength and positivity. Although you don’t know us personally please gain comfort in knowing we have you in our thoughts and wish things will get better . Thank you for sharing this hard journey .
Oh Knox. You have really been clobbered. 💔 I can’t imagine how hard it is but I can see the pain in your eyes. Please take as much time as you need to process this. Don’t rush back to reacting. We’re not going anywhere. Make your music and try to rest your mind. I know what it’s like to have a mind that doesn’t turn off easily. Focus on your loved ones and yourself. That is ALL that matters right now. Much love and a big mom hug.
My mother overdosed a year and a half ago from fentanyl, my older brother coped with self medicating, which was bad because he has a weak heart and he stopped his medication and started drinking everyday, now my brother is in the hospital on life support, been sedated for a month now, hasn't looked good, not a lot of improvements for him, You are not alone for hating 2023, I am sorry for your losses, you will be in my thoughts Knox and prayers for you.
Thank you Knox. I've been struggling too and suicidal tendencies have resurfaced the past week or so but just watching this gave me a thrust of motivation to keep on fighting. You got this brother. Even though I'm not an aspiring music artists or anything along those lines, your reactions have taught me so much about the intricacies of the art, especially when it comes to Eminem, on top of them being just plain entertaining to watch and vibe along. Keep powering through!
You’re right this isn’t about putting videos like this out there for attention or subscribers, but it’s affirmation to others that it’s ok to be vulnerable and talk. I’ve got much respect for you, and I’m sorry for your loss. ❤✌️
It’s a marathon, not a sprint….. live in the moment Knox. The fear of returning to depression is real. Sending you massive hugs and support……. this comment section is full of supportive people….. we are also your family. Take care, you’re doing really well under the circumstances.
I feel your pain, I lost my wife to cancer, 16 years ago. I can tell you 2 things. A loved soul never dies and as a new Christian, put everything thing in his hands. Bless you brother.
You, my dear, are such an incredible human. I had noticed a sadness in your eyes, but I thought it was just your grandfather. I'm so sorry to hear about all you and your family's losses. You will always have a community of love and support here ❤ Take care of your babies, your wife, your family, and (most importantly) yourself. I hope you know how much you are appreciated personally and professionally. Keep being the wonderful you that you are, and everything will work out exactly the way it is supposed to ❤
New follower here. Found your channel precisely because I’m having a rough day mentally and needed some relief. As a Swiftie, I love your thoughtful reactions and attention to her lyricism. You’re amazing at what you do! I’m so sorry for your losses and hope you take all the time you need to sit with your feelings and learn to integrate this grief into your life as move forward, not simply “on”. From a griever to another. One day at a time. Your followers will be here when you’re ready 💜 Take care.
I hope you get better. I’ve been feeling pretty bad too because I’m in the military and I’m very far away from family. I am in Japan while my family is in Texas. I haven’t seen them in over 2 years and I’ve missed so many crucial moments with them. My grandfather passed away in that time and I wasn’t there to support my family through it
Army vet here. I feel ya, brother/sister/sib :) and doesn't time seem to move different when you're deployed or doing an unaccompanied tour, and don't words seem totally incapable of giving civilians an actual window into what it's like? It's real damn hard. Hang in there. Two years, damn... so surely you've got some leave or even a reassignment on your horizon to look forward to soon, i hope??
I'm really proud of you, man. You make us feel like we're not alone. It takes a village, 100%. This is real-life man.❤Michele. Sorry about your grandfather. He's doing well, IMO. I've been in that tunnel of love and light. I can relate regarding my grandfather. I have so many losses, and it hurts. Thanks for sharing. ❤
I hear you Knox…lost my dad on November 21 of last year. He was my rock and my go to when I needed an ear or shoulder to lean on. Stay strong and believe in a higher power. All I can say is, that it does get better with time. Speaking about it does help as well…praying for you and yours. Peace 🙏🏼
Knox, First off, my condolences to you and your family. I am sorry for your losses. I am telling you what I have told my young Soldiers over the years, "No matter what happens, you have to stay alive, live for yourself and your family." That must be at the forefront of your mind. You have to live, you can overcome the grief, but you must live above everything else. Don't fear taking the time you need to heal and to process things. If you don't already, start an excerise routine, it helps 30-50 minutes a day should be enough. Therapy can also help out as well. God bless, I am praying for you and your family.
You aren’t and don’t need to go through stuff alone. Share it brother, you’re alright. Your content is great from every angle and the growth has been real and deserved. I don’t know of anyone that feels great these days, but that can give a strength too, knowing that there are others on the struggle with you.
Sorry about your loss’ bro, your words are very powerful and moving. I wish nothing but the best for you because you're genuinely a good person with a gift. Keep pushing, thats all we can do in this world.
My appreciation for this post goes beyond what you could imagine… The universe delivered your message and I fully received it. I’m an independent writer and when your message arrived, I had just gotten off a call that reminded me how many plates I have spinning-the projects, the commitments; the highs and lows of trying to live a life I want. I operate like a team, but like you, I’m a team of one. There’s freedom in it, but more often than not, there’s a price for the freedom everyone sees. Thank you for validating it. I only found you through the Coast Contra reactions. I checked out of almost everything for few days because I felt overwhelmed, and their music put things in perspective. Still, for days I watched hundreds (no kidding) of reaction videos of their music, and I can verify that you are the best at what you do. The absolute best. You’ve got what it takes to make it. Go back and listen to CC’s Breath & Stop. They were talking to themselves and to people like me & you. You’re not alone out here either, I promise you. There’s something greater that’s guiding you through all this. Doubt it if you want, but I promise you, I found your breakdown of Breath & Stop when I was at a familiar low point. I’ve been doing well, but these last few months have had that gray cloud circling. It’s can be dark, and heavy, but you know-always temporary. All the help you need to survive, and soon thrive-very soon… it’s on its way. Feel your feelings, sleep, eat good food, sleep more, kiss your wife and play with your kids-ALOT. Above all, keep believing. You know you’ve got this, and so do I. I know my people when I see them. We’re using the light inside us, for ourselves and the greater good. All these highs and lows, all the risks we’re taking-you already know how this ends. We win. Thanks for believing in yourself. You’re an inspiration.🙏🏾❤️🔥
I am struggling right now, too. But you are absolutely right. We're not alone thanks to our loved ones. As a fan I wanna let you know you don't just create content. You are spreading positivity. Thanks to creaters like you I kept my sanity during the lockdown. Those who work hard, have to rest more than others. 🙏🏾 Much love from Germany
Big love knox ❤ we don't realise how strong we are until we need to be and you've got this mate ❤ Sadly Grief is painful for the ones left behind.. But you talking is also you slowly healing ... Sending you love and healing energies knox ❤💫 stay strong my friend ❤️ 🇬🇧
As someone who has been mourning for almost a year over the loss of several people this time last year, my condolences and love for you and all the families and friends whom have been affected by those loses.
Take your time to heal. We are here supporting you but mainly hoping that you are ok. You put your heart in the art you make, so creating content just for giving us something is not what we are waiting, we just want you to be ok and do your things when you are ready. Don’t fell pressed, you’re not alone, and you’ll heal with the warm of the people who love you ❤️🩹
Beautifully said Knox. Life can and does kick us in the teeth at times but also has a way of giving us those , maybe too rare amazing moments too. I lost my mum who was murdered when I was 11 and had lost all my grandparents and dad by 23. I am 57 now and have no uncles, aunties or older relatives but I am blessed to have 5 other siblings. Like you, my main motivation in life is my wife and children. They make getting up and going to work feel, worth it. I too, use music as an outlet and my god it helps SO much in those dark moments we all go through! Take care my friend and keep up your infectious channel and great music. Love it mate!
Love from the UK man… You smash this genre on YT bro. Top boy on the reaction scene. My mother passed at 39 years of age and I was 19 just back from deployment. It’s only now I’m 31 the pain is coming out, your content is an escape and helps people. Trust me 👊🏻👊🏻
Much love brother. Lost my dad a few years back, and have recently also watched too many young friends lost to fentenyl related problems. Keep your head up. We all here and we been there before. You're doing great things. Your breakdowns are awesome, educational, and one can tell you really care about the artistry and music. Helping bring up those around you... admirable. ❤
I am an only child as well. Totally know how precious each member of your pack is. Prayers for your grandfather and your cousin. What you do on here help so many people in so many ways. Sure your whole communities here for you.
This authenticity is important and will help the sustainability of your channel. Roll with it. Don't hold on to an idea of who you 'have' to be. Thank you for sharing your process...it is so important to listen to your heart.
When I first found your channel in 2021, your videos helped me to get through the thoughest time of my life. Watching you reacting to songs with all the passion you have for music and song writing, became a daily ritual for me and eventually helped me to find passion in music - especially rap - for myself. You really help a lot of people with your content and your music. That being said. Your own mental health is the most important factor. It doesn't matter if you upload less or take time off, we're always here and will be here no matter what. Take your time to heal, for you and your family ❤️
This took a lot of strength to post, I'm sorry to hear that you have been going through it. I know how loss can take a heavy toll on everyone, please don't forget that your words are true for yourself too. You are not alone and to reach out to someone - anyone. Just being able to post this and check in with us shows how strong you are, don't forget that.
New listener today. Communication is everything. It seems as if you are looking for healers to surround you are this moment. Very understandable. Emotion is a universal language. That's why our testimony is so important for healing. Thank you for sharing this. You say, you make music, hope your vision comes back soon. There are walls that we all hit. Nobody is expecting anything from you, you only know when you can get back on that horse. Music may change but life depicts art right!!!
My condolences. And from the depths of my soul, I want to thank you, and I want to thank all of you, for continuing to fight. You are all appreciated. Your effort has value. And even if I don't know you, I love you. Stay safe, y'all.
Dude, just...wow. That is a lot my friend. My most sincere condolences to you and your family, truly. There isn't any shame in taking time to process, it sounds like you have a pretty good handle on that but I'm telling you...those things echo through time and boy do they hit harder down the line. Take the time to rest when you need to, you'll not regret it. Rest Well.
Hang in there Knox. In the past 5 years I lost my husband to illness, my big (only) brother to murder by my sister in law, my mom to covid, and this past Fall my best friend to covid complications. I don't have a musical bone in my body except for a passion to listen to music of all genres....it has been my saving grace to be able to listen to you and others like you. I too have limited family, one daughter and my sister. My daughter is in very poor health but she is my lifeline. You have to take time to heal and take care of yourself first. It might sound selfish but you can't help others unless you're ok first. Thank you for all you do for us, the hard work and dedication. We're cheering for you
You said it man. Music helps us heal, music brings us together. Some of us watch artists like Ren because it's relatable and helps us cry, and strengthen through loss and trauma. You have a big support system here of people that care, share and open up.
Sometimes we don't live day by day, we live second by second. Literally, breath by breath. You're not alone & THAT is a huge plus! I'm glad you talked Knox & I feel your pain. Take the time you need. It doesn't matter if those plates stop spinning & fall, you can get new ones! Hold your wife & daughters & comfort them. Their comfort will make you stronger. You've got this, I promise, you've got this ❤
Hey Knox. I know the pain well. 2 years ago my older brother passed from Covid. 3 weeks after that my uncle who was like a father figure passed from Covid as well. The best thing you can do is surround yourself with a great support system. We are here for you and appreciate you bringing what you are going through to our attention. We are here for you. You are not alone on a deserted island. I wish nothing but good vibes your way and wish you a great 2024.
We are goin through this together Knox. You know you can always reach out to me. I Lost my mom Christmas eve and getting on camera has been hard since. I'm thinking of you bro.
Knox having a platform and using it to be vulnerable and transparent is everything! I am very sorry for you and your family’s loss! We will pray for you all!🙏🥲
I lost my daughter's Dad in 2020 unexpectedly. It was really devastated and had extreme passive attacks for 2 years after. While dealing with that, my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and I'm her sole caregiver. So I had to get out together enough to walk her through this, while grieving. I soon after had to have my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed because of my own cancer scare. It felt like such a massively hard time. But I promise there's light at the end of it. Seeds get buried so the flower can grow. The rock gets pressurized to form the diamond. Find that faith deep inside. I pray for your flower to bloom 🙏
So sorry for your loss, brother, I lost my grandmother three months ago. I had been living with her and taking care of her for a few years and she ended up with dementia. It has been rough very rough. I’m still not over it, but it gets easier as time goes on. I too am an only child and my grandmother has always been super close with me. So sorry about your cousin and mother-in-law, man. That’s awful. Bless your heart. So much at once. Stay strong brother. I’ll be praying for you, your wife, your kids, and all your family, Knox.
You know , I personally appreciate that you uploaded this video and talked about what you’re going through Bro 2023 wasn’t a good year for me , lost a brother , an aunt a few cousins, 2022 my mom passed away on the 20th October it wasn’t easy at all to just get outta feeling down , it feels so drowning like it weighs so much on a person and I’m still going through it , I’m trying , I record songs on my phone bc I can’t afford to go to a studio and feels like I’m stuck at one place but I just record anyway on my phone , so I can cope I hope you can get through this pain , unfortunately the pain doesn’t go away , it can only be numbed My condolences God bless you bro , take your time , you matter go heal we gotchu and support you , people say you shouldn’t vent on the internet, but I think if we don’t , a lot of us are different places and some can help more than the people at home , so I feel like people on the internet can be a place where one can go for help and we always need help so this bringing people down should really stop , bc you never know what someone is going through
There are so many of us out there struggling right now, it makes my heart hurt 🖤 But know that it will pass. It won't hurt less but we grow around the pain. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Consider yourself virtually hugged momma bear style.
My father is 86, and comes from a family of 11 kids. They all grew up on a farm, and they were all within about 16 years of each other in age. We just lost our aunt in the summer, she was the first, and I had the sudden realization that our family is going to be experiencing a lot of deaths over the next 2-10 years. Every single one of the kids in that family of 11, has developed cancer of some sort in their later years, and many of them have seen significant decline in health over the last 2-3 years. I'm not even sure if I want to attend every funeral that will happen... that's just a lot... and I'm not even sure I'm a good person if I think that way, or how I would pick and choose which ones to attend and which not.
I just found your channel this evening and this is why. This is the pure power of this platform. Thank you for being vulnerable and open. I don't know of anyone who isn't struggling right now. It will be ok. We are so separated from death and grief in our current world. We outsource the process. Lean into the grief and know it will be ok. The grief doesn't change, life just kind of grows up around it. Tears heal. Honestly, I'd like to see emotions be normalized for everyone. My 28 year old son self terminated in 2022, leaving a wife, 2 young children, his brothers, and many family who miss him dearly. He was one of the best people in my life and it was an honor to call him my son.
I would legit enjoy watching you listen to out of copyright music - classical included - and have a feelings journey instead of a lyric break down. Im dealing with the anniversary of my father's passing. It sucks. It really does. You have so much footage of yourself, make sure you get vids of your fam, with them, of them telling stories, of them being real. Don't let it derail your time with them, but God what I would give for a video of my dad, to hear his voice again.
Knox, Love is grief with no place to go. Anyone that is able to throw some bucks Knox’s way, do it. He needs a bit of rest💕✨💕✨✨💕I recognize the look in your eyes my friend…Insomnia, depression anxiety, grief.. it’s a never ending struggle fighting to the other side. Sending love and light ✨💕
This Christmas we lost my mother in law too. My wife's father died years ago too... it's been so hard. She use to live with us so I get it. I am still grieving. Then I lost my Great Aunt. I have to carry my family forward but Lord have mercy, it's so hard to know how much pain we are in. I'm focused on being strong for everyone else while falling apart on the inside. My family is in NY and I'm all the way in Myrtle Beach so I couldn't even go to aunt's funeral. Mt heart goes out to you brother. I pray it gets easier for you and your family. Just know your not alone. I'm a musician too. You inspired me to get honest about my pain. Thank you for being honest and letting us all in
Everyone processes there grief differently. I could talk about the loss I went through, but this isn’t about me. It’s your struggle that you’re sharing right now. If it helps you to get it out there, that’s great. But if you just need an ear to talk to I understand and am willing to listen. Keep your head up Knox.
Knox, I am so sorry for your losses. It is alot to carry and alot of emotion. Please take time to do whatever it is to heal. We will always be here for you. Whether you know it or not, you were here for me during some of my darkest times. Just your awesome reactions, your music and incredible personality made it easier for me to deal with some crappy stuff. So, know.. we will always be here for you through the good, the bad and the ugly. Much love and many hugs to you. You are a great human being!❤❤❤
Talk to us Knox. We’re here brother
People like you. They don't need you to pretend to be happy all the time. That's not what they fell in love with! They saw a kindred spirit, and your hope and strength. My advice:
*Keep going.
*Do another Ren interview, about mental health. You could do a series on it! And then write music cos of the muse that still finds a way to amuse you when life is bemusing!
*Take lots of vitamin D.
*Find a hug somewhere, cos I can't give you one from all the way here in England! 💖
*Look up SAD (seasonal affective disorder)
... Are magic mushroom legal in Canada? lol
I don't have any and it's illegal to pick them in the UK, so I think you can only get them into your system legally if you go to a cow field in autumn and eat them off of the ground... Bit late for that. But vitamin D is good!
Always x
An extremely eclectically English set of words of advice!
It amused me as it’s personal choice and I sense the good will in here. I’m in the uk I’m sending tight hugs to surround yourself and your loved ones xxx
Kiddo.
Overwhelmed is an understatement…
Pressure is an understatement…
Grief is an understatement..
You got hit big with loss..
I’m glad you shared… sending you all the good vibes and healing.
Knox, I know how you feel. I lost my sister right before Halloween. She and I were the last people still alive from the family I was born into. Her son passed away from bone cancer when he was 31, and my sis never got over her loss. Now I am here alone. This is a whole 'nother level of loneliness. You do good, Knox, you really do. I understand the feelings, and the anxiety that creeps in at night. You'll be okay, I swear it, and so will I .
Hey man, read your comment. I too am the last living member of my family and it sucks balls. We have to keep on not because of the loss, but in spite of it. We have a whole family name to make proud by ourselves, lets give it our best :)
Stay strong brother 💪🏻
I'm so sorry. My fiancé passed on Sept. 1st. I lost my father 10yrs ago and I thought that there would never be another grief as deep and awful, but now I realize that every person will be different. This time I can barely function outwardly.. I hope that ur doing well and I wish you all of the strength and happiness in the world ❤
@@elsvaughn7959 I'm vey sorry for your loss, @elsvaughn. I cannot imagine losing a fiancé. If something happened to my s/o, I do not know what I'd do. You are brave, and when the time comes, you will know you are stronger than you ever thought you could be. I also wish you all the strength and happiness in the world. It will come. I know it sounds silly, but when I'm feeling down, I listen to Ren's song "Power." It helps me. Take care of yourself!
My 93 year old Aunt gave me good advice. When my 3 siblings died she told me … would they want you to be unhappy? be happy for them and yourself
The more comfortable you are talking about your struggles, the more comfortable people will be talking about theirs. Sending positive vibes.
Ur right,I'm glad he shared. Was good for me
I'm a certified peer counselor. I use you, your story and your music to help others learn to heal.
This story has so much value. Thank you Knox.
Fuuuuuuu. I'm commenting as Im listening.
Bruh im sorry for your loss. The fentanyl is why I'm in school and working with substance use disorder. I got tired of hearing about people dying
Bless you ❤
@@ZeCahli thank you. Our culture is hungry for mental health awareness. True meaning and not labels to wear like badges.
Artists like Knox, Ren, nf and so on are filling that void.
rich guy can eat today. i cant
Is that like a therapist that doesn’t have a degree? I think we are all certified peer counselors 😂
I'm 71 and most of my family is gone now. Wife, Son, and Brother are all that's left of the close part of my family. I understand your pain. Just remember that people out here love what you produce as well as the kind of man you are. Especially sorrowful about your cousin. God bless him and his family. Rooting for you, friend.
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you are strong. I hope I can be as strong when it hits me
I am 61 and all my family is gone. My husband, parents (I had no siblings or even cousins - parents were only children, or children of my own) so holidays especially are hard. Treasure every minute - don’t have any regrets about not spending an enough time with them (even if it’s just the phone). Hugs.
I am sure when I say this, but the entire reaction community is behind you! If there is anything we can do, let us know! Much love Knox. ❤❤
Big up for speaking out man, you are the voice for thousands. Regroup, reassess, take time out and give yourself space man 💙
Watched my dad die on the carpet in our home. The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming. We couldn't help him. I still struggle with the visions of that day.
You got this lovely, day by day. Much love ❤
I’m so sorry.❤
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I read this and almost cried. Had a similar experience myself...... That helpless feeling. I can still feel it when I think on it.
Ok, now Imma cry. Thanks for sharing though.
Knox, dude... I love you man! It has to be said... What you have created here on this platform; the community you have built, the honest, insightful, Knox Hill certified, from the heart reactions and the music you create because of your love for music has meant that, those who appreciate those qualities and that kind of content have just naturally gravitated towards you.
I personally found you through Ren reaction videos and I just loved your reactions! I've since watched a lot of other reactions and you just pick up on so much more it really makes me think with a more open mindset for everything. I also love the relationship you have formed with Ren through your love of music and the similarities of your journeys as independent artists.
You and Ren, to me are cut from the same cloth. Your empathy towards others, your connection to your own emotions and your ability to be open and vulnerable, both through videos like this and the music you create, is a real inspiration to those who gravitate towards you Knox! It's a massive, unquantifiable comfort to know people like you are out there making the content you do and music independently because it means its 100% REAL and untainted by big corporate labels. Its true Knox Hill. That goes far deeper than just entertainment for me.
So, I believe it should, and does go full circle Knox. As a fan of yours and Ren's, what your content has done for me personally and to the betterment of my outlook on life, I owe it to you to somehow pay it back!
So, here goes... Remember Knox... You are only human. You are allowed to grieve and to struggle. You are allowed to rely on others when life gets too much. I missed the opportunity to see my Grandma the day before she passed of bowel cancer and it crushed me at the time. That was around 12yrs ago now, it was hard to take at the time but what I'm left with now is purely happy memories of time spent with my Grandma growing up. When the grief subsides, it gets easier because the happy memories remain so strong. At least that's my personal experience.
I think as you get older, it does get easier. You've just had a triple whammy of grief so no wonder you are struggling Knox. Just remember to take time for yourself though Knox to grieve and to heal.
Lastly... Keep being you man and keep doing what you're doing and when times get tough, don't hesitate to lean on us like this because we will always be here for you dude ✌
That was some real a$$ ish right there man. Made me tear up. Well said.
We got love for u Knox and I'm not just saying that to be saying that. I, we mean it my guy.
wow well written and said ❤❤❤
I lost my husband, my mother, my best friend and my cousin in under 18 months. I'll never be the same again. Trying to raise 5 grieving children while I grieve has been the biggest challenge of my life. Losing my husband especially has shattered my life. Repeat losses hit so hard. It is surviving one day at a time.
Wishing you peace, comfort and healing
I can't say anything @kathynicholson103 didn't say but I stand with that comment. Peace, comfort, and healing for your family.
Wow, there are seriously no words to cover your situation. I'm so sorry. Prayers for strength and comfort and growth.
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I am so sorry for your losses 🙏 Yes, day by day is all we can do, especially when others are relying on us. Keep going, keep fighting, keep just being, even if it’s just going through the motions. You are appreciated 🖤
Thanks for sharing that! If a psychotherapist can give some advice: Take your time to process thoroughly, Knox! It will pay off. Sometimes the strongest thing is to allow yourself to be weak. In these times, self care is no luxury, its the crucial skill! There's a time to work your ass off and there's a time to be still and process things - for the benefit of yourself and all around you. Also as a role model for your kids... Again: thank you so much for your honesty. Your'e great man! Wish you all the best❣
Well said. We won't go away, Knox.
Well said. I concur. I'd add to it: grief doesn't mean you're going back to depression. Grief is intense emotion you just have to go through. It's like an ocean, which goes over you, time and time again. But you're still on the beach, not in the ocean, let alone the ocean. From time to time, maybe when the wave goes back, try to feel the rock underneath, the rock you are sitting on. And feel yourself. Breathe. The rock will stay. You will stay. And when it is the time, the tide turns. It always does.
But for now: just let the waves wash you. Eventually they carry your tears, so they become parts of that ocean. All humans have some of theirs in it.
Sorry, cannot find right words now. I just send you a big hug, Knox. Give that time to yourself. ❤ And we don't need you to be always positive and have the power and whatever. Just be you.
@@sateentuoksuAs someone who has felt the grief of losing a parent every day and every year since 2007, especially around the important times of the year, including her thannaversary, you found the words beautifully.
@@khills Sorry for your loss and pain. I wish it gets easier each year. The parent is in your heart, always. But pain - I hope it starts to loosen its grip. ❤️
Sorry for your losses. Take care of yourself and your family 1st and foremost. If you are not feeling the reaction stuff please don't fake it on our behalf out of a sense of obligation or responsibility. If you decide you need to take a break to regroup, recharge, and heal we will all be here when you get back.
And also.. i'm thinking if it's really a must to do reactions always like that. (Though they are brilliant and you surely have some special gift in hearing all the things and hidden treasures in music and lyrics). Maybe it is time to let the music just touch and heal you? Carry you and your sorrows. Maybe we as watchers wouldn't wait for you to always do it like you've done before, and have the strength to do so. Maybe just staying together in some emotions the music gives space to, is also valuable. ❤ There's times for this and times for that.
I feel ya brother. This old sailor has been dealing with the death of a daughter in Jan 2021 who died from fentanyl. I’ve been dealing with cancer and how the treatments destroyed me, but I push on, and honestly I don’t know why at times. Im still grieving too. I tell myself a lot, no retreat, no surrender and when going through Hell, keep on going. You got this brother, you can always reach out. God bless.
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Oh, you sweet, sweet man. You’ve always been so honest and genuine. Never feel like you can’t come here for support. I lost my 25 year old husband to a one time relapse, after being clear off heroin for 5 years, in 2015. Lost my dad 9 months before that. And on and on. It’s hard. We can’t get through this alone. You do what you need to do to take care of you and yours. We will be here.
nice ty
Knox, thank you for sharing. I'm 74 next month son and I am here only for those that still need me.. I lost my first and last born sons, made it through open heart surgery and a critical illness. LIFE is an obligation we have to all we hold dear. Some have left us long before they are gone, drifting through existence, and those who survive against all odds, such as Ren. So, you could say I have adopted you and Ren to help me survive my own pain. You both remind me of what I lost and believe it or not, it brings me joy.
Wow. A few things here hit pretty hard. i feel like you've just laid out some hard-earned wisdom.
Rather than giving voice to the half dozen rambling, loosely connected thoughts your comment has sparked in my head, let me confine myself to asking you this:
How are *you* doing, @docdurdin?
God bless you 🙏♥️
❤
You've got this dude, we're here for you man
I rarely comment. But this one got me. You are a good man Knox. I’m in my late 30’s and I get the stress of “everyone is counting on you, how do I grieve when everyone needs me to be the strong one?”
You’ve got a stellar community, and I wish I could contribute more than just watching videos and sharing your songs. With that being said, I can say you’ve had a positive impact on my life as a “random internet stranger”. It’s okay to feel down and take a step back, heck maybe you can get some good songs out of the situation. And I’m not saying that in a mean way at all, music heals.
My personal outlet is video games/streaming and it’s fun to interact with my community because I never put on an act. I am me, I’ll always be me. Maybe find a game to play? Hug the family you’ve got.
I’m not going to give ya some Bulls*** reply like “it’ll all get better in the end” or something generic like that. Even the days when you’re just going through the motions; sometimes that’s all you CAN do. You’ve built a wonderful community and I know I can speak for others when I say “We got you, let us know what we can do”. I am in your discord even though I don’t talk much. But at the end of the day all I can say is “keep on, brotha. Hit me (us) up if ya need an outlet”.
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Beautifully said and 100% echo these sentiments - we are all here for you Knox & will support you through these tough times. Take whatever time you need & we’ll be here waiting for you ❤❤❤❤
I'm a month away from turning 50, in the past 15 years I've lost some people very close that caused this statement to even hit harder than it did already. When your other family is counting on you, It feels like it's your time to push harder and fill that void they have. Meanwhile you never get a chance to grieve yourself. Next thing you know you're 50 and there are some close relatives that are having health issues while other younger siblings you can tell are not prepared in life yet. What do you do.... life goes by so fast.
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Well said Katey 💜
I lost my uncle right before Christmas. That man was like my father. He taught me everything I needed to know to be a man in this world. He was diagnosed with a rare form of dementia. He went from normal, to gone in under 2 years. It hit harder than I could have ever imagined. All we can do is keep moving forward, and do our best to make those we lost proud. Keep your head up, you’re not alone in these battles.
Right now you need to take the time to care for your family and yourself. Don't push yourself into an emotional breakdown by overworking on top of everything going on in your life. If you need to take a break from creating videos then do that. We will all be here when you return. We all need to make time to care for ourselves or we will break and it will take much longer to heal. Big Squishy Hugs from this Big Squishy Grandma in Oregon.
So sorry for your losses. 2023 was unfortunately a year of so much loss for so many people. I lost my son (stillbirth) and my dog on the same day and it crushed me. I'm getting through, but as you said, it's a fight to pull through the grief. My son's name is Casey, which means "brave", so I am sending you a little of his courage and strength to go through this period of grief. Take care my friend.
I am so very, very sorry for both the loss of your son and the loss of your fur baby. Hugs ❤
@@megang.2310 Thank you so much.
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So very Sorry for the losses of your babies. Stillbirth mom here sending you love 💜 I lost my daughter, Emma, at 40 weeks in 2021. It’s a grief battle and we pull through, one day at a time. Sending a big hug 🫂
@@juliaullrich2630 Thank you and so sorry for your loss as well. I've found that there are so many more people that have gone through this than I ever thought. Mine was a second trimester loss due to IC.
This may get loss in the wash, and you probably have many followers that feel this way too...but...
I don't really have the biggest social group, and honestly, I probably have more people I follow daily on RUclips than actual friends.
We may have never met, but I watch a lot of your content. You are a constant in my life, more so than most.
In that weird way, I could say you're a friend to me. As a friend, I get where you are coming from. But you need you time. We, as a community of followers, get that you feel the need to keep working to either distract or emote through these hard times. I'm at a loss of words for your loss. and now I'm fumbling for words. Greive the way you need to. We appreciate you. Take your time. My condolences.
Sending love brother - if you need anything at all!... I lost a friend last week from a Fentanyl OD, and I can def understand losing family members. All you can do is celebrate who you've lost and embrace those you have.
So sorry for your loss, too, Zack. So many vulnerable people are lost for good before they can find their way out. Thinking of all those who loved them. ❤
Wow that’s such a powerful statement. I’ve done those things but never really let it sink in til I read it out loud. Celebrate those you’ve lost and embrace those you have. Sorry for your loss. I hope you feel better too🥰🥹
Loss is a heavy burden, I've lost my grandfather, grandmother and my father within 3 months. It is not easy, no one can carry hurt like that on their own. If you see this, i hope you seek help with a mental health care professional. not just for yourself, but for your family too. If you need help, seek it out, don't suffer alone. There's no shame in needing help. You're not alone in feeling the way you're feeling. We are right there with you. Stay strong and keep fighting
Hi, Knox. I'm so sorry for your losses. My heart goes out to you more than you will ever know.
I once read this and it really stuck with me- "There are three needs of the griever: To find the words for the loss, to say the words aloud, and to know that the words have been heard." Knox, I can't claim to know what you're going through, but I do want you to know that you've got people that both hear you & are here for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. ♡
Stay strong!
You're not alone, either, Knox.
As Ren said so well, "You won't hurt forever...because life is inconsistent."
Much love to you and your family. ❤
I know I've binged some Knox videos on days that I'm struggling. And I've rewatched many just because you are spectacular with your reactions and with your music.
I lost my dad 10 years ago, and I still have days that I feel like i am trying to keep my head above water.
You aren't just some content creator to everyone here.
We see you, dude.
And we love you.
Love to you, your wife and family. Hold onto them and take the time to go through it.
I am positive something good will come from all of this grief.
You're a total superman for still being here for everyone. ❤
Dearest Knox, I am so glad that you have taken us into your trust to share this with us. Thank you for that. In us you have this massive extended family and so many of your followers including me have sent you so many virtual hugs and so much love. I have been through a lot of relentless stuff the last few years including two family deaths and being executor to both family members and something that is now helping me considerably to move out of negative morning thoughts is the realization that we can change our thoughts and help our situation in 17 seconds every morning. Its hard at first but once it gets going and you see it working in your life it really, really helps. For 17 seconds as soon as possible after waking sit by yourself and think of something that you would like to see in your life such as money or a team or money to pay for a team and all you have to do is imagine that is true for 17 seconds - Feel the feeling you would feel if it did happen. I have manifested amazing things doing this. I hope that helps you Knox and anyone else ❤
You're in good company, my past few years have been hell and I've barely held myself together. Things will get better, they never feel like it when you're going through it but they do. Everything is a season, there is always sunshine after the rain. I appreciate you and all the work you put in on this channel, I appreciate you getting on here and speaking about not just the positive part of life, we're all here. ❤
If that helps you I've been going through depression for a few years now. I'm 29 right now and your videos are such a relief. It's my confort place so just wanted to say thank you for everything man. You're doing amazing work to many people's mental health
Authenticity, for an artist, is more important than the loyalty of your fans. You are a shining example of a man dedicated to knowing their true self in a discipline of being genuine🌟
Be gentle with your self, it's the only self you've got!
Love this 😍
Very well said 🙏
I’m proud of you for reaching out for support. We’re all in this together. I’m almost 60 now and ran marathons and ultras up until a couple years ago. My mantra on those runs….relentless forward progress. Sometimes that’s the mantra for life too. Just keep moving forward. Try to find the smallest bit of joy in the most mundane moment. Those glimmers of hope are there. Just keep moving. Big hug from a mom and grandma. ❤
Ive been here for years and believe me Knox im not just speaking when i say we're here for (with) you. Thanks for the update and i hope you are able to cope with all the tough times Atm. Ive been drug free 5 years and have seen hundreds of people i know fall from the same thing. Maintain that mental health and keep your head up. I got nothing but appreciation for yours work. Take care bro 2024 is gonna be a banger.
You're not alone, Knox.. being dealt blow after blow is very tough.. we all deal with loss and grief in our own way. Take your time with it.. I remember something your friend Ren stated, and I'm paraphrasing.. if you're angry, understand it, be with it, let it go, and give yourself love. In some cases, I have to believe we can replace keywords in what Ren said with words that fit for you, Knox.. Hugs to you and your family.
Im struggling too knox my house was broken into and ive lost a lot but im strong imma make it thru. You got this too
As I’ve learned no matter how many people say they “understand how you feel” nobody will, all we can do is show love and pray for y’all. God bless brother my deepest condolences for your loss.
Knox once again you’ve helped me with major depression and trauma that I’ve been dealing with, I just got out of a very abusive marriage that I was stuck in for a long time , thankfully my kids and I got out and we are safe now, but dealing with the residual affects of that is very traumatic and life altering, I will be getting therapy but I can’t tell you how much videos like this that you’ve made have helped me, even just the little tidbits at the end of your videos where you say “ your not alone “ have helped me more than you’ll EVER know, because I know that you mean every word, I was so suicidal tonight, the silence gets so loud at night and its hard to deal with these thoughts when your completely alone, but watching this and reading these comments helped me realize I will NEVER be alone thanks to this BEAUTIFUL community of survivors and thrivers , props to y’all man, thank you to EVERYONE in the comments section, each and every one of you have helped by sharing your stories, and thank you once again for sharing yours Knox and for making this video, idk if anyone else feels like it saved their lives but I certainly feel like it helped save mine because I wasn’t in a good place tonight before watching this, much love to you Knox and this community, peace ✌🏻 and love ❤️
4 years to the day that I lost my Mom. I am thankful I was able to talk to her and say goodbye, but it still beats me up. I feel you brother, try to keep your chin up. You got this dawg
Mine will be 5 years on 3/23/19. I feel this deeply. And it still feels like yesterday. Hugs.
There are thousands of people rooting for you Knox . You have always been a source of strength and positivity. Although you don’t know us personally please gain comfort in knowing we have you in our thoughts and wish things will get better . Thank you for sharing this hard journey .
Oh Knox. You have really been clobbered. 💔 I can’t imagine how hard it is but I can see the pain in your eyes. Please take as much time as you need to process this. Don’t rush back to reacting. We’re not going anywhere. Make your music and try to rest your mind. I know what it’s like to have a mind that doesn’t turn off easily. Focus on your loved ones and yourself. That is ALL that matters right now. Much love and a big mom hug.
My mother overdosed a year and a half ago from fentanyl, my older brother coped with self medicating, which was bad because he has a weak heart and he stopped his medication and started drinking everyday, now my brother is in the hospital on life support, been sedated for a month now, hasn't looked good, not a lot of improvements for him,
You are not alone for hating 2023, I am sorry for your losses, you will be in my thoughts Knox and prayers for you.
Thank you Knox. I've been struggling too and suicidal tendencies have resurfaced the past week or so but just watching this gave me a thrust of motivation to keep on fighting.
You got this brother. Even though I'm not an aspiring music artists or anything along those lines, your reactions have taught me so much about the intricacies of the art, especially when it comes to Eminem, on top of them being just plain entertaining to watch and vibe along. Keep powering through!
Big yourself up r kid , everybody hurts , sometimes 💙💙💙
You’re right this isn’t about putting videos like this out there for attention or subscribers, but it’s affirmation to others that it’s ok to be vulnerable and talk.
I’ve got much respect for you, and I’m sorry for your loss. ❤✌️
It’s a marathon, not a sprint….. live in the moment Knox. The fear of returning to depression is real. Sending you massive hugs and support……. this comment section is full of supportive people….. we are also your family. Take care, you’re doing really well under the circumstances.
I feel your pain, I lost my wife to cancer, 16 years ago. I can tell you 2 things. A loved soul never dies and as a new Christian, put everything thing in his hands. Bless you brother.
Stay strong, my brother! 💪 Nothing but Love from us fans! ❤
You, my dear, are such an incredible human. I had noticed a sadness in your eyes, but I thought it was just your grandfather. I'm so sorry to hear about all you and your family's losses. You will always have a community of love and support here ❤
Take care of your babies, your wife, your family, and (most importantly) yourself. I hope you know how much you are appreciated personally and professionally. Keep being the wonderful you that you are, and everything will work out exactly the way it is supposed to ❤
New follower here. Found your channel precisely because I’m having a rough day mentally and needed some relief. As a Swiftie, I love your thoughtful reactions and attention to her lyricism. You’re amazing at what you do!
I’m so sorry for your losses and hope you take all the time you need to sit with your feelings and learn to integrate this grief into your life as move forward, not simply “on”. From a griever to another. One day at a time. Your followers will be here when you’re ready 💜 Take care.
I hope you get better. I’ve been feeling pretty bad too because I’m in the military and I’m very far away from family. I am in Japan while my family is in Texas. I haven’t seen them in over 2 years and I’ve missed so many crucial moments with them. My grandfather passed away in that time and I wasn’t there to support my family through it
As a former Marine stationed at Camp Fuji for 2 years at 19 years old, I feel you dog. Stay strong and enjoy your time when you can!
Thank you for your service and your sacrifice. I hope you get to see your family soon, and that it is amazing.
Army vet here. I feel ya, brother/sister/sib :) and doesn't time seem to move different when you're deployed or doing an unaccompanied tour, and don't words seem totally incapable of giving civilians an actual window into what it's like? It's real damn hard. Hang in there. Two years, damn... so surely you've got some leave or even a reassignment on your horizon to look forward to soon, i hope??
I'm really proud of you, man. You make us feel like we're not alone. It takes a village, 100%. This is real-life man.❤Michele. Sorry about your grandfather. He's doing well, IMO. I've been in that tunnel of love and light. I can relate regarding my grandfather. I have so many losses, and it hurts. Thanks for sharing. ❤
Knox hill. I’m here for you. I’ve been a nurse for 23 years and shit sucks.
❤😢🙏🏼❤️🩹 You grieve sweet Man!
Take your time it’s too much!
Mr Knox You and Yours are in my 🙏🏼💜
💔Moni RN
I hear you Knox…lost my dad on November 21 of last year. He was my rock and my go to when I needed an ear or shoulder to lean on. Stay strong and believe in a higher power. All I can say is, that it does get better with time. Speaking about it does help as well…praying for you and yours. Peace 🙏🏼
So sorry for your loss. Sending hugs💙🤗
Lost my Dad too, in October…He was only 66! Totally unexpected…lot of things were unsaid and now they’ll never be heard.
@@kdub175sorry for your loss brother, take care
@@Cynthiabecker24 thank you very much. 😊
@@kdub175 as a dad myself…we know how our kids feel…no words needed in most cases. I bet your dad was proud of you. 👍🏻
Knox, First off, my condolences to you and your family. I am sorry for your losses. I am telling you what I have told my young Soldiers over the years, "No matter what happens, you have to stay alive, live for yourself and your family." That must be at the forefront of your mind. You have to live, you can overcome the grief, but you must live above everything else. Don't fear taking the time you need to heal and to process things. If you don't already, start an excerise routine, it helps 30-50 minutes a day should be enough. Therapy can also help out as well.
God bless, I am praying for you and your family.
You aren’t and don’t need to go through stuff alone. Share it brother, you’re alright. Your content is great from every angle and the growth has been real and deserved.
I don’t know of anyone that feels great these days, but that can give a strength too, knowing that there are others on the struggle with you.
Prayers bro!!! Life is difficult at times and in those toughest times God has been there for me and help me thru those times!
Sorry about your loss’ bro, your words are very powerful and moving. I wish nothing but the best for you because you're genuinely a good person with a gift. Keep pushing, thats all we can do in this world.
My appreciation for this post goes beyond what you could imagine…
The universe delivered your message and I fully received it. I’m an independent writer and when your message arrived, I had just gotten off a call that reminded me how many plates I have spinning-the projects, the commitments; the highs and lows of trying to live a life I want. I operate like a team, but like you, I’m a team of one. There’s freedom in it, but more often than not, there’s a price for the freedom everyone sees. Thank you for validating it.
I only found you through the Coast Contra reactions. I checked out of almost everything for few days because I felt overwhelmed, and their music put things in perspective. Still, for days I watched hundreds (no kidding) of reaction videos of their music, and I can verify that you are the best at what you do. The absolute best. You’ve got what it takes to make it.
Go back and listen to CC’s Breath & Stop. They were talking to themselves and to people like me & you. You’re not alone out here either, I promise you. There’s something greater that’s guiding you through all this. Doubt it if you want, but I promise you, I found your breakdown of Breath & Stop when I was at a familiar low point. I’ve been doing well, but these last few months have had that gray cloud circling. It’s can be dark, and heavy, but you know-always temporary.
All the help you need to survive, and soon thrive-very soon… it’s on its way. Feel your feelings, sleep, eat good food, sleep more, kiss your wife and play with your kids-ALOT. Above all, keep believing. You know you’ve got this, and so do I.
I know my people when I see them. We’re using the light inside us, for ourselves and the greater good. All these highs and lows, all the risks we’re taking-you already know how this ends. We win.
Thanks for believing in yourself. You’re an inspiration.🙏🏾❤️🔥
I am struggling right now, too. But you are absolutely right. We're not alone thanks to our loved ones.
As a fan I wanna let you know you don't just create content. You are spreading positivity. Thanks to creaters like you I kept my sanity during the lockdown.
Those who work hard, have to rest more than others. 🙏🏾
Much love from Germany
Big love knox ❤ we don't realise how strong we are until we need to be and you've got this mate ❤
Sadly Grief is painful for the ones left behind..
But you talking is also you slowly healing ...
Sending you love and healing energies knox ❤💫 stay strong my friend ❤️ 🇬🇧
Yes…“Make a video like this”. It sounds like u need to…some of us need it too.
As someone who has been mourning for almost a year over the loss of several people this time last year, my condolences and love for you and all the families and friends whom have been affected by those loses.
Take your time to heal. We are here supporting you but mainly hoping that you are ok. You put your heart in the art you make, so creating content just for giving us something is not what we are waiting, we just want you to be ok and do your things when you are ready. Don’t fell pressed, you’re not alone, and you’ll heal with the warm of the people who love you ❤️🩹
Beautifully said Knox. Life can and does kick us in the teeth at times but also has a way of giving us those , maybe too rare amazing moments too. I lost my mum who was murdered when I was 11 and had lost all my grandparents and dad by 23. I am 57 now and have no uncles, aunties or older relatives but I am blessed to have 5 other siblings. Like you, my main motivation in life is my wife and children. They make getting up and going to work feel, worth it. I too, use music as an outlet and my god it helps SO much in those dark moments we all go through!
Take care my friend and keep up your infectious channel and great music. Love it mate!
Love from the UK man… You smash this genre on YT bro. Top boy on the reaction scene. My mother passed at 39 years of age and I was 19 just back from deployment. It’s only now I’m 31 the pain is coming out, your content is an escape and helps people. Trust me 👊🏻👊🏻
Much love brother. Lost my dad a few years back, and have recently also watched too many young friends lost to fentenyl related problems.
Keep your head up. We all here and we been there before. You're doing great things.
Your breakdowns are awesome, educational, and one can tell you really care about the artistry and music.
Helping bring up those around you... admirable.
❤
I am an only child as well. Totally know how precious each member of your pack is. Prayers for your grandfather and your cousin. What you do on here help so many people in so many ways. Sure your whole communities here for you.
Take care of yourself, so you don't lose yourself. Always reach out and ask for help. So many people are with you. Sending love, Knox.
This authenticity is important and will help the sustainability of your channel. Roll with it. Don't hold on to an idea of who you 'have' to be. Thank you for sharing your process...it is so important to listen to your heart.
When I first found your channel in 2021, your videos helped me to get through the thoughest time of my life. Watching you reacting to songs with all the passion you have for music and song writing, became a daily ritual for me and eventually helped me to find passion in music - especially rap - for myself. You really help a lot of people with your content and your music.
That being said. Your own mental health is the most important factor. It doesn't matter if you upload less or take time off, we're always here and will be here no matter what. Take your time to heal, for you and your family ❤️
This took a lot of strength to post, I'm sorry to hear that you have been going through it. I know how loss can take a heavy toll on everyone, please don't forget that your words are true for yourself too. You are not alone and to reach out to someone - anyone. Just being able to post this and check in with us shows how strong you are, don't forget that.
New listener today. Communication is everything. It seems as if you are looking for healers to surround you are this moment. Very understandable. Emotion is a universal language. That's why our testimony is so important for healing. Thank you for sharing this. You say, you make music, hope your vision comes back soon. There are walls that we all hit. Nobody is expecting anything from you, you only know when you can get back on that horse. Music may change but life depicts art right!!!
My condolences. And from the depths of my soul, I want to thank you, and I want to thank all of you, for continuing to fight. You are all appreciated. Your effort has value. And even if I don't know you, I love you. Stay safe, y'all.
Bro, we got this. Ain't no way were all going to give up. We're gonna keep going bro. Sending love on you sir❤️☝️
Dude, just...wow. That is a lot my friend. My most sincere condolences to you and your family, truly. There isn't any shame in taking time to process, it sounds like you have a pretty good handle on that but I'm telling you...those things echo through time and boy do they hit harder down the line. Take the time to rest when you need to, you'll not regret it.
Rest Well.
Hang in there Knox. In the past 5 years I lost my husband to illness, my big (only) brother to murder by my sister in law, my mom to covid, and this past Fall my best friend to covid complications. I don't have a musical bone in my body except for a passion to listen to music of all genres....it has been my saving grace to be able to listen to you and others like you. I too have limited family, one daughter and my sister. My daughter is in very poor health but she is my lifeline. You have to take time to heal and take care of yourself first. It might sound selfish but you can't help others unless you're ok first. Thank you for all you do for us, the hard work and dedication. We're cheering for you
You said it man. Music helps us heal, music brings us together. Some of us watch artists like Ren because it's relatable and helps us cry, and strengthen through loss and trauma. You have a big support system here of people that care, share and open up.
Sometimes we don't live day by day, we live second by second. Literally, breath by breath. You're not alone & THAT is a huge plus! I'm glad you talked Knox & I feel your pain. Take the time you need. It doesn't matter if those plates stop spinning & fall, you can get new ones! Hold your wife & daughters & comfort them. Their comfort will make you stronger. You've got this, I promise, you've got this ❤
You are not allowed to to give up. You hear me. Keep your head up. I don’t want to see anything happen to you. ❤️
Thanks for showing us authentically. I want people to stop apologizing for that. If the world needs one thing now it’s authenticity! ❤️
Hey Knox. I know the pain well. 2 years ago my older brother passed from Covid. 3 weeks after that my uncle who was like a father figure passed from Covid as well. The best thing you can do is surround yourself with a great support system. We are here for you and appreciate you bringing what you are going through to our attention. We are here for you. You are not alone on a deserted island. I wish nothing but good vibes your way and wish you a great 2024.
We are goin through this together Knox. You know you can always reach out to me. I Lost my mom Christmas eve and getting on camera has been hard since. I'm thinking of you bro.
much love to you and yours from me and mine. it's not sympathy, it's empathy, it's different. take care brother.❤
Knox having a platform and using it to be vulnerable and transparent is everything! I am very sorry for you and your family’s loss! We will pray for you all!🙏🥲
Praying for you Knox. Stay strong brother. Love ya man
I lost my daughter's Dad in 2020 unexpectedly. It was really devastated and had extreme passive attacks for 2 years after. While dealing with that, my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and I'm her sole caregiver. So I had to get out together enough to walk her through this, while grieving. I soon after had to have my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed because of my own cancer scare. It felt like such a massively hard time. But I promise there's light at the end of it. Seeds get buried so the flower can grow. The rock gets pressurized to form the diamond. Find that faith deep inside. I pray for your flower to bloom 🙏
So sorry for your loss, brother, I lost my grandmother three months ago. I had been living with her and taking care of her for a few years and she ended up with dementia. It has been rough very rough. I’m still not over it, but it gets easier as time goes on. I too am an only child and my grandmother has always been super close with me. So sorry about your cousin and mother-in-law, man. That’s awful. Bless your heart. So much at once. Stay strong brother.
I’ll be praying for you, your wife, your kids, and all your family, Knox.
You know , I personally appreciate that you uploaded this video and talked about what you’re going through
Bro 2023 wasn’t a good year for me , lost a brother , an aunt a few cousins, 2022 my mom passed away on the 20th October it wasn’t easy at all to just get outta feeling down , it feels so drowning like it weighs so much on a person and I’m still going through it , I’m trying , I record songs on my phone bc I can’t afford to go to a studio and feels like I’m stuck at one place but I just record anyway on my phone , so I can cope
I hope you can get through this pain , unfortunately the pain doesn’t go away , it can only be numbed
My condolences God bless you bro , take your time , you matter go heal we gotchu and support you , people say you shouldn’t vent on the internet, but I think if we don’t , a lot of us are different places and some can help more than the people at home , so I feel like people on the internet can be a place where one can go for help and we always need help so this bringing people down should really stop , bc you never know what someone is going through
There are so many of us out there struggling right now, it makes my heart hurt 🖤
But know that it will pass. It won't hurt less but we grow around the pain.
I'm sorry you had to go through this.
Consider yourself virtually hugged momma bear style.
We LOVE you Knox! Stay strong.
My father is 86, and comes from a family of 11 kids. They all grew up on a farm, and they were all within about 16 years of each other in age. We just lost our aunt in the summer, she was the first, and I had the sudden realization that our family is going to be experiencing a lot of deaths over the next 2-10 years. Every single one of the kids in that family of 11, has developed cancer of some sort in their later years, and many of them have seen significant decline in health over the last 2-3 years.
I'm not even sure if I want to attend every funeral that will happen... that's just a lot... and I'm not even sure I'm a good person if I think that way, or how I would pick and choose which ones to attend and which not.
I just found your channel this evening and this is why. This is the pure power of this platform. Thank you for being vulnerable and open. I don't know of anyone who isn't struggling right now. It will be ok. We are so separated from death and grief in our current world. We outsource the process. Lean into the grief and know it will be ok. The grief doesn't change, life just kind of grows up around it. Tears heal. Honestly, I'd like to see emotions be normalized for everyone. My 28 year old son self terminated in 2022, leaving a wife, 2 young children, his brothers, and many family who miss him dearly. He was one of the best people in my life and it was an honor to call him my son.
I would legit enjoy watching you listen to out of copyright music - classical included - and have a feelings journey instead of a lyric break down.
Im dealing with the anniversary of my father's passing. It sucks. It really does. You have so much footage of yourself, make sure you get vids of your fam, with them, of them telling stories, of them being real. Don't let it derail your time with them, but God what I would give for a video of my dad, to hear his voice again.
Knox, Love is grief with no place to go. Anyone that is able to throw some bucks Knox’s way, do it. He needs a bit of rest💕✨💕✨✨💕I recognize the look in your eyes my friend…Insomnia, depression anxiety, grief.. it’s a never ending struggle fighting to the other side. Sending love and light ✨💕
This Christmas we lost my mother in law too. My wife's father died years ago too... it's been so hard. She use to live with us so I get it. I am still grieving. Then I lost my Great Aunt. I have to carry my family forward but Lord have mercy, it's so hard to know how much pain we are in. I'm focused on being strong for everyone else while falling apart on the inside. My family is in NY and I'm all the way in Myrtle Beach so I couldn't even go to aunt's funeral. Mt heart goes out to you brother. I pray it gets easier for you and your family. Just know your not alone. I'm a musician too. You inspired me to get honest about my pain. Thank you for being honest and letting us all in
Sending hugs, love and prayer to you and your family Knoxx. There will always be better days ahead. Stand ground soldier, we're behind you.
Everyone processes there grief differently. I could talk about the loss I went through, but this isn’t about me. It’s your struggle that you’re sharing right now. If it helps you to get it out there, that’s great. But if you just need an ear to talk to I understand and am willing to listen. Keep your head up Knox.
Knox, I am so sorry for your losses. It is alot to carry and alot of emotion. Please take time to do whatever it is to heal. We will always be here for you. Whether you know it or not, you were here for me during some of my darkest times. Just your awesome reactions, your music and incredible personality made it easier for me to deal with some crappy stuff. So, know.. we will always be here for you through the good, the bad and the ugly. Much love and many hugs to you. You are a great human being!❤❤❤