The 50 State Nightmares
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- Опубликовано: 20 май 2018
- MORE videos: www.GuaranteedVideo.com
Every state has an official bird, an official flower, and an official song. Here are the official state nightmares for the United States of America.
Conceived by me, shot by Kevin J. James.
/ neilcic
/ kevinthejames 
Приколы
There's something hilarious about the brutal simplicity of "You're stuck in a fridge that's been turned to face a wall."
Ah yes Alabama
Its horrifying tho
The fact that it has been deliberately turned is more disturbing that just saying "You're stuck in a fridge facing a wall." Makes it feel much more malicious
“Meat ghost”
Okay but would that been fuckn horrifying
Like, ik this is some twisted cowinkydink that im from Alabama but God damn how is that not fuckn scary
Roll Tide.
"Florida has no official state nightmare."
Yeah, that tracks.
That's because florida is america's nightmare
The real nightmare is waking up and realizing you live in Florida
Um...one word: MAR-A-LAGO! (Need I say more?)
Some may say as rumors have it that Florida is in it's own ways it's own nightmare
Florida Nightmare: You're from Florida.
Sincerely,
A Floridian
i love how urgent neil is when saying "YOU PICK UP A HAT FROM THE FLOOR AND THERES A BRAIN UNDERNEATH"
It's a serious event.
Not far from what happened in _Tremors._
For Kentucky
david lynch intonation
Cannot lie, if I found a brain underneath a hat, I would have a hard time controlling the urge to stomp on it!
hey guys currently in church I hope there’s no sharks in here
edit: OH GOD
HOLY SHIT WHAT
And that’s the last anyone heard from octangula, their fucking dead now
@@BradySpector I heard that they talked to the wind, so they deserved it
@@largeboi4678 grammy warned them.
@@dogmilk7972 But they didn’t listen, did they?
took me a while to notice the state shapes were all fucky wucky
Hi Cyranekcal alslo no only some of them just a just a few of them are weird no just a couple m a some of the
Yeah it took me a minute to realize that one of them was actually the batman logo
@@hibiscus_utube I LIVE THERE (unfortunately) AND I DIDNT NOTICE THE FIRST TIME
took me til south carolina to pay attention
@@strideryourself you never hear anything South Carolina. All the cool shit seems to happen in North Carolina
We got yelled at by a testy, townie weirdo in Salem while shooting the first shot for this.
Also- 4k!
I've been yelled at some of the weird locals in Salem for simply walking with a Red Sox cap on, telling me that I shouldn't be allowed to wear it because I'm not from there and it's "Not your team". ...Except I'm from Maine. Never change, Salem.
Salem, Massachusetts?
Yup. Lovely town, but a few awful dudes roaming about.
I fuckin' knew that game store looked familiar
"Not a nightmare, so much as a genuinely sad dream about the death of Mario"
March 31, 2021, it became real.
is it relevant that this is a day before April Fool's
the delivery of the second "Grammy warned you!" gets to me every time
A lot of the state shapes are intentionally wrong for jokes but the thing about South Dakota being wrong is you wouldn’t even know it was wrong unless you lived here and that’s why im crying right now.
Seymour O ..looove huuurts..
I don’t live in S Dakota but I had a feeling it was wrong. Just felt like something they’d do.
Damn
I didn’t even know that
Like, Oregon and South Carolina we’re obvious, but I really wouldn’t have known unless you said.
...is...is that... NORTH Dakota?
@@edwardnygma8533 they just turned north dakota upside down
The fact that you had to loudly proclaim "evil sexual genie" in a crowded room tickles me to no end
69 likes!
169 likes!!
LET'S GET IT TO 369 Y'ALL
On camera
by a caveman?
Missouri makes me laugh every time, everything about it is perfect from the lack of context, the way he delivers it and to the fact that the entire time, it looks like he's about to burst out laughing
Also, when he said 'fell for a human sized mousetrap', I immediately assumed it meant you fell in love with said giant mousetrap and I was sitting there trying to figure out why that's considered a nightmare
its only a nightmare when you inevitably realize that you'll have to tell people that you're dating a human sized mousetrap, and then have to plan the wedding with said mousetrap
The only difference is how long it takes for the trap to spring on you. Either way, yeowch!
Thank you for putting that last thought in my head. I'll give it a good home.
i thought that too- it took me an embarrassingly long time to realise what it meant
300th
this is enough material for 5 years of uninterrupted comedy. it's like the nuclear fuel of jokes
well, it’s at five years now. still funny as hell
2:46 cracks me up. "you somehow just know."
how did it take you until yesterday to see this video
Asmongold has a very busy streaming schedule.
@@konkie3657 I saw it when it came out but I actually don't think I realised it was neil back then lol, just realised it now when I re-found it randomly
@@DeSinc ah that makes more sense. have my babies
@@DeSinc u in Rhode Island too?
"washington: heath ledger's joker won't stop asking you to prom"
aint that just the plot of the lego batman movie
Underrated comment
or is it 10 things I hate about you??
Can confirm that 73% of people in Wenatchee are disproportionate block-men wearing black cowls and spandex.
Please go with me to the prom, everynight you don't people will die, starting tonight
@@asbestos-freecomedy Facts
1:48 this is an amazing idea for a game
This was shot entirely in Salem MA, which is freaky, because it's my home City. That giant ice cream cone is extremely recognizable to every single local here, and I cannot believe that Neil stood next to it. Small. World.
He didn’t go to every single state to film??
"Colorado: You Find a Tiny Dead Human Body in a Vacuum Bag"
Otherwise known as, the darker ending of My Trains
WHACHU GONNA DO HUH?
*roomba passes trough the room*
Oh no
OH NO
the tiny man has been defeated,,,
@@coolarteriesman are your arteries ok now?
i feel like these could all be lemon demon songs
Plot twist: this is just his 50 song album being teased without us realizing
@@Kiwibro1010 god i hope so
This is going to be Neil Cicierega's State Songs isn't it?
I can already hear "Missouri Misery"
Missouri is soft fuzzy man
i love the absolute conviction which he says "THERE'S A SHARK LOOSE IN CHURCH!" with
i'm from kentucky but "you accidentally break a flute that represents your imagination" really hit me
Puerto Rico: you’re halfway through trying to put on a long sleeved shirt but there’s always a ceiling fan directly above you.
he should add this
@@massaroni6903
Sadly, Puerto Rico is not officially a state.
This one hits surprisingly close to home.
Some of these could also work as alternative state mottos. "Rhode Island: You Somehow Just Know That Your Soul is Gone"
Nebraska
*Meat Ghost*
RandomDude Tennessee, a realistic medieval prison experience
your profile picture is off center and that bothers me
Come to Pennsylvania!
“There’s a shark loose in church!”
RandomDude Missouri: GRAMMY WARNED YOU!
The quotation marks around the small “Human” skeleton makes me wonder what the skeleton actually was
2:27 I was just waiting for Ohio, and then North Dakota hit me like a truck.
absolutely the scariest out of all of these, no competition
two trucks
REAL
I feel like these are all nightmares Neil has actually had.
furnacebreathNick When you sleep in a state for the first time you always have the official nightmare. Whether or not you remember it.
I know I've had a couple. That one with the room full of starving pets hits home hard.
He mentioned in the podcast I think at least the one about dead pets is his
Even though Florida doesn’t have one, it’s still not worth it to go there.
"North Dakoto: You're pregnant with Invader Zim."
I wish Neil Cicierega was real 😔
BAHAHAHA
BREAKING NEWS HE HAS BEEN FOUND INSIDE A VIDEO GAME MACHINE
me too :(
@@strummernefferdorf1213 UPDATE: THE NEWS REPORTERS REPORTED THAT HE DIED
@@forg7611 but all of his organs could be moving on inside...
Imagine if someone took all of these ideas and made a horror game out of them.
Jokes on you, every Lemon Demon song is about North Dakota. All of the songs are in some way related to being pregnant with Invader Zim.
this is actually true because neil invented everything!
I accidentally opened this and Mouth Dreams and they were playing at the same time and I really thought that this was part of Mouth Dreams and I was really frustrated that I couldn't hear the list of state nightmares clearly under the increasingly louder "yahooooo"s.
That sounds like a state nightmare itself.
@@ratemisia the state never became: Puerto Rico
you inspired me.
ruclips.net/video/QRn-iIzt2LQ/видео.html
sorry, my bad, i misread your comment
here's the true to your word version
ruclips.net/video/tU5c5kOVEFs/видео.html
new state nightmare leaked?
I hate that in some weird terrifying coincidence, I (a minnesotan) actually had a nightmare about not a surgeon, but a dentist opened up my torso and poured spaghetti O's into me and sewed me back up and I woke up crying because of how scary it was
It’s not a coincidence, that’s just how state nightmares work.
"New jersey, you find a room in your house that you never knew about, and all your old pets are in there just starving to death"
1:40 Is this the plot of Soft Fuzzy Man?
It was sexy wind *shrugs *
@@dysfunctionalcaramel3821 sexy wind... i
"Oregon" (shows Abraham Lincoln)
"South Carolina" (shows Batman logo)
"South Dakota" (shows North Dakota, but upside down)
"Virginia" (shows a fish)
And South Dakota isn't actually South Dakota
"North Dakota: youre pregnant with Invader Zim"
I AM W H E E Z I N G
Probably cause I stole your lungs.
@@invaderzim3301 IT'S YOU
@@calcifer6142 Yes, yes. I AM ZIM!
@@invaderzim3301 its been six months can i have my lungs back now :(
@@drizzlecake No. I still need them.
Honestly, every nightmare here could be a really funny or interesting writing prompt.
This feels so distinctly like a Brian David Gilbert video that I am shocked every time I see it and realize it is, in fact, the other unreasonably funny internet guy.
I like to imagine that this video was filmed in real time and Neil and the cameraman were just teleporting across the 50 states.
Camera man is teleporting to all Niels clones
"You find a room in your house that you never knew about and all your old pets are in there just starving to death"
This one is genuinely unsettling
Neil opened up in a podcast that this was once a real nightmare he had. I guess it always sort of haunted him, like those nightmares we remember from childhood.
That's just finding your old DS with your animal crossing town rotting away on it
This is actually a recurring nightmare I have and it's very upsetting
when you open your old neopets account for the first time in years
yeah, its pretty upsetting but...
opening your old neopets acc be like
"rhode island: you somehow just know that your soul is gone" so true neil. thanks for putting my deepest darkest thoughts into words
I have no doubts that Neil has actually had half of these nightmares
Florida *_is_* the nightmare
Or, OR, they cannot dream of anything more horrible than what they passed by on their way to or from work that day.
In Florida, there is no nightmare worse than waking up in the morning to face another day.
As a Floridian I can say that Florida is literally hell
Florida is every other state's unofficial nightmare.
Why do I see you on like 50% of the videos I watch?
How the hell did I even manage to notice that your South Dakota is just an upside-down North Dakota
2 years later, and this is still one of my all time faves.
This needs more views, I feel like half of them came from me.
2:34 I remember this episode of adventure time
I was excited to see Florida, and got a little disappointed there was none, but then I realized that living here IS the nightmare and sleep is the only time Floridians can be truly at peace. Unless we dream of the Great Gator Invasion of '94. *shivers*
I prefer dreaming that all of us are dragons and we've built an extensive network of high-rises with the waters of the Everglades running below all our buildings making us look like we live in a floating city.
The Great Gator Invasion of ‘94 was when the gaters invaded our dreams
Alternatively, the Floridian state nightmare is lacking a state nightmare.
The true Floridian nightmare is the idea of Gatorland but with chimps
Nah, my recurring nightmare is where it's Hurricane Andrew, but somehow during the Gator Invasion.
i like how most of them are really specific and elaborate and then theres just *Meat Ghost*
"Multiplying Crying Babies"
He predicted _Ghostbleed._
This is actually really well made, and i'll explain why
The simplicity of all these nightmares is fantastic. "You're stuck in a fridge that's facing a wall" sounds creepy on its own, but when you add "It's been turned to face a wall" it makes it more clear that somebody manually forced the fridge to face a wall, and it sounds a lot more brutal. Most of the other nightmares have the same thing. "Your dad dies from a small static shock from a doorknob" manages to make a parental death funny. Adding the words "small static shock" makes it even more hilarious from knowing that static shocks don't kill people, especially if it's a small one from a doorknob.
One of my favorite parts about this video is the variation. Some of the nightmares are barely 5 words long, and some of them are a whole ass paragraph with way more details than it needs. It makes the video much more jarring in a way thats hard to explain in words. Nightmares such as "Multiple Crying Babies" could include a lot more context, but you chose to make it as small as possible. However, nightmares like "You're in a clawfoot bathtub, and you look behind you and etc etc etc" could simply be shortened to "You look behind you while you're bathing and see Jesus Christ" or something similar, but you chose to add much more context than you need, such as mentioning it was a Clawfoot bathtub, and even adding "so" at the beginning, along with hand motions to signify how long and lengthy the nightmare is.
I also want to point out what you did with Florida. The addition of one of the states having no nightmare is quite ingenious. I've always liked it when people add things like this. You made the video feel way more realistic just by this one small detail. What's funny is that there's a lot of people who live in Florida, and your intent was to confuse or piss them off. I like how you used Florida as oppose to any other state, because Florida is one of the more well known places, and lots of people talk about how many hurricanes occur there, and how hot and sunny it always is. Normally someone would expect a significant nightmare, but all you hear is "Florida has no official state nightmare." Which manages to make the video more jarring than it already is.
What I'm saying is, I love this video and everything about it. It manages to be so stupid and yet so ingenious at the same time, and I just have to applaud you for that.
The most condescending RUclips comment ever
I loved reading through this!! Such a nice and detailed analysis, good job!!
The duality man above me
florida has no state nightmare because the true nightmare is having to live there
Thanks for explaining the joke to everyone
I love how he can hold his laughter so well
I can see why that nightmare is popular in Missouri, considering our surplus of both wind and grammie.
Why, how many grammys -have you won- do you have?
Grammy warned you!
HardLeg Gaming I hear wind is the devil.. But I used to call the winds and bert can tell you.. It went where I was telling it...
my great grandma lives in Missouri what the heck
Hardleg what the fuck are you doing here I was literally just watching your Deck Profiles
That New York one explains Vinesauce.
Jeeves Anthrozaur IVE BEEN DEAD FOR 10 YEARS LUIGI, ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD.
_"But Mario, I've been there with you to the Mushroom Kingdom!"_
So MARIO is the one w/ Terminal 7, not Luigi?
"The princess, she's real!"
"That was a dead hooker Luigi"
MARIO'S GOT TERMINAL 7, LUIGI
2:43 im from pennsylvania and im honored
same!!
hey since Massachusetts isn't on here, Does that means Neil Cicierega is their State Nightmare?
It is; at 1:28, it’s “Careening downhill on heelys”
How many social studies credits can I get by watching this video?
30
-5
69
All of them. All 50
Yes.
So THAT'S why I keep dreaming about sitcom skeletons
Now I see _you_ everywhere Quinton. I'd like to see ya on Sardonicast!
Yo Quinton, that's like the third implication I've seen, are you from Iowa? Because I think that's neat, and may decide to stalk you.
My dream was the same except the skeletons on the island were the cast of "According to Jim." Am I living in an alternate reality Iowa?
Now review that thing you we're going to review!
quinton is a babe
i watch this so often i now have the nightmares memorized lmao
I'm gonna pick a state to live based on which nightmare resonates with me the most
America isn't the only country with official state nightmares. Australia has them too!:
New South Wales- After doing a yard sale, you realize you unknowingly sold all of your organs.
Queensland- You wake up to find that the government is turning your house into a tourist trap.
South Australia- You go to your parents for dinner one night, and they're forcing you to eat sand.
Tasmania- In order to pass gym class, you have to act in a direct-to-video movie about Garfield becoming a pirate.
Victoria- You drop your grocery bag, which initially just annoys you, before you realize that it contained the antidote to the poison you're inflicted with.
West Australia- You start a job at a mine, only to realize that you're mining the corpses of your in-laws.
Me, an nsw person: ah shit ive done it again
you and neil both have an extremely weird talent
@@calcifer6142 Eh, I’m not sure if I would say that. I’d says me and Neil likely have the same sense of humor.
England : You wake up and realise you were drowning in quicksand
Scotland : The Loch ness Monster wants to play fornite with you but you are late for school
Wales : The Doctor and Tom jones have a sword fight for a packet of doritos
Nothern Ireland : It rains outside every time you pee
I have had the Queensland nightmare, despite being New South Welsh.
"You're pregnant, with invader zim" is a statement that knocks the wind out of me
As a texan I can confirm that being buried alive in the big bird costume is indeed, a state wide nightmare
Every time I go there I momentarily pass out and suddenly being buried alive in a big bird costume. I have to go there for doctors appointments but I feel like It's not worth it
As an Ohioan, I can confirm, I have once had a dream about being caught in a human mousetrap..if you count a car as a human mouse trap..and it's flying of a cliff....and also there is a deer right beside you reading you the lyrics to YMCA while crying about his dead wife he just saw on the road, which is the reason your car if flying off a cliff because you tried to swerve around it but you flew off the road.
bro?
@@PixelMan572 looking back at this comment now, I still remember this exact dream…
Ah yes, Oregon, the head-shaped state. The nostril lake is beautiful come springtime, the green water teeming with fish and the pollen-laden wind blowing through the trees.
Don't forget South Carolina, the Batman state. Every streetlight is a Bat Signal!
Don’t forget virgina, well known for its aquatic studies
As an Oregonian, accurate
"Julie Andrews Yells At You To Shut Up" made me involuntarily shout, "NO!!" in horror.
i don’t know why, but i just love the dude playing the sax while neil describes ohio’s state nightmare
I feel like these are all nightmares he's really had.
These aren’t nightmares, they’re just ideas for OK Go music videos.
I wish that OK GO had the confidence to make a video about Mario dying.
I see, a man of culture.
_wheeze_
@@thrownstair Or the joker asking me to the prom
No special effects
I appreciate that these all sound like genuine dreams people might have. When people make up dreams they never sound real. But these all hit the "bizarre and frightening but just enough logic" sweet spot of a real dream.
"You are living in a world in which Neil Cicierega is not the supreme overlord, but just a quirky creator on RUclips."
Neil looks genuinely concerned when he says "You pick up a hat and there's a BRAIN underneath it"
I love how Florida doesn’t have a state nightmare it’s Florida, every day is a nightmare
Florida doesn't actually exist, it's only there because it's imprinted in the collective unconscious of everyone in America. It _is_ a bad dream.
Au contraire, Florida doesn't have a state nightmare because life is too good for there to be any.
florida is the fucking bomb
Florida: "You're actually in it now, and you'll never wake up."
Well you guys had an alien-xenophobic robot for a while...
"Tennessee: A Realistic Medieval Prison Experience"
I thought we were talking about nightmares, not reality.
GutsGetter sadly is true
Gottem
Hey hey hey.
At least we have running water unlike those dirty Alabamians.
Alabama has a lot of water, it's just frozen and inaccessible.
Could be worse, our prisons could be in Michigan
3:03 pardon-
"Florida has no official state nightmare"
Florida: "I don't have nightmares because I am the nightmare"
This is classic Neil Cicierega content with production value. What a world we live in.
SteveTR we live in a society
BOTTOM TEXT
CoastersPaul, go fuck yourself.
I love how South Dakota here is just North Dakota upside down, and that both their shapes are so nondescript that no one that’s not from the Dakotas would probably even notice.
0:23
HEEEEEEEE-HAW
'TWAS THE PROSPECTOR
THERE'S GOLD IN THEM VIDS
These seem like the crazy writing prompts you get from one of those plot generator websites.
New Hampshire resident here. I've never had a nightmare that Jesus was in my tub. However, I HAVE dreamed that I went to the Pheasant Lane Mall with my buddy one day and my feet got caught in the escalator going down because my shoe laces were too long and it ripped my legs off.
Since I couldn't afford prosthetics(yes, even in my subconscious state my finances are still that bad) I had to get some crappy 18th century pirate style peg legs, but this being a dream it was discovered I had the option to retrieve my severed legs and reattach them.
Unfortunately, this employee at the Dairy Queen there who happened to be a Wendigo decided to save money by eating my legs for lunch one day.
After that the Wendigo dude bought me a Nintendo Switch to make up for it so everything was cool in the end.
Tell me, Great Prophet Cicierega, what DOES my dream mean?
Your dream was eaten by a pokémon who then moved to Florida.
It's a peek into the future, except your legs aren't ripped off and you don't get pirate prosthetics, but the DQ employee eats your legs right off you. So next time you go to the mall, bring cannibal repellent.
Maybe you were born in DC.
I dunno, but best to go to the Mall of New Hampshire or dare I say-the Steeplegate Mall (shiver) to avoid escalators.
it means you might be in debt
2:20 As someone who lives in NY that feels surprisingly accurate.
As someone else who also lives in NY, I can confirm that it does feel surprisingly accurate.
Same
@@worried_sickk5811 As yet again someone else who lives in NY, I can also confirm this feels surprisingly accurate.
As someone who lives in NY with New Yorker relatives, this is very very accurate.
I don't know what's worse, the North Dakota nightmare or the fact that Florida ironically has no state nightmare.
This sounds like something you'd hear in Welcome to Nightvale
Every time I watch this, I continue to be impressed with how accurate these feel as nightmare concepts. I wonder how many of these were made up for the bit, and how many were based on actual nightmares had by Neil and perhaps Kevin.
"You're pregnant with Invader Zim" legit caught me so off guard
what makes this perfect is the delivery, the fact that these all sound like actual illogical nightmares someone would have, and that the shapes of the states just get continually more and more ridiculous
I live in New York and I can confirm, we are still mourning Mario's death.
Poor guy.
Got run over by a taxi.
I still miss him.
he died as he lived: walkin' here
these are great writing prompts
Gory tron au
@@common-placee I want the version of the musical Oklahoma with the plot of the nightmare for Oklahoma in this video.
The Missouri one would be a genuinely good horror story.
“YOUR PREGNANT WITH INVADER ZIM.”
1:24
I thought it was gonna be a crab with a knife.
God knows we've done some shit to crabs.
1:15 neil is an iceberg
When you say "An Extremely Gory Version of Tron" do you mean it's Tron but people actually get dismembered an otherwise hideously mutilated rather than evaporating into light, or that it's set in human neural pathways rather than computer circuitry and everything a hideous, fleshy giger-esque facsimile but with the same screenplay and everything besides?
I was assuming the former, but the latter sounds like a way cooler concept.
Hmm... How 'bout... Both?
Well Sark did get brutally shot on screen
@@Nerdule I have something like that planned
Or people are forced into gory shit and get dismembered
so instead of throwing discs they're throwing knifes
“A laughing farmer makes you kiss a withering, dying pig”
I feel like that’s legit happened here before
“Fighting in the civil war and trying to win an Ebay auction at the same time”
It’s all games until Robert E. Lee uses a bidding Bot.
I was randomly recommended this while watching a stream on another device that is in no way connected to the first and someone media shared this on the stream as I clicked on this video on the first device having never heard or seen of it before and it genuinely freaked me out, I am questioning my both sanity and reality.
Pretty sure the state of Batman isn't shaped like that...
What about the state of Cyborg?
Or the state of Grid
I also live in South Carolina. I can confirm is as well.
No it's shaped more like superman
The one for West Virginia would also just be our state hallucination from consuming too many opiates.
Yeah, I have to agree with that one. I wonder if there's a county by county nightmare... Wonder what Cabell would have.
Brahhh I when I saw your comment I was like hell yea cuz I'm high af on opiates right now and weed and beer like damn our state is lit
TyeDye Errthing how are you feeling now?
The fact that Arkansas came before Arizona when the rest of them were listed alphabetically is a nice way to begin the insanity that follows.
“Not a nightmare so much as a genuinely sad dream about the death of Mario”
Oh, if only he knew
My father is from Indiana, my mother is from Kansas, so often it is Bananahead forcing me to play MYST and I always get tripped up in the Channelwood Age
Really? For me it's always that damn musical puzzle in the rocketship and all the notes are always wrong and my hands are melting.
@Eldritch
I live in Kentucky, I was born in Pennsylvania, my mom is born and raised in New York, my dad is born in Kentucky but raised in Ohio but my siblings are born in Florida so I often get nightmares about Mario dying in a human-sized mousetrap while a shark is loose in a church nearby and there's a brain underneath Mario's hat.
@@dylaninpieces2 Wat.
I never knew I was pregnant with Invader Zim.
"FREE ME! I AM ZIM! I AM ZIIIIIIIM!"
Don’t worry! They will give birth soon. And if not I will crawl out of their mouth!
y'know, I know love is a strong word, but I can confidently say that I love this video, what a great inspiration it is to learn of all the official state nightmares, now I know how to tap into the deep part of statespeoples' psyche's if need be
I like how only some of the state nightmares are actually related to the state