It's insane to me though that he didn't tell her. I'm not even sure it is the right thing to do? I mean spouses keep no secrets anyways? Unless they're afraid of the consequences IE. cheating, drug use, money issues etc. But still, IDK, it's weird to me.
Her parents chose not to tell her because they wanted to keep her for themselves He chose not to tell her despite knowing she would leave him They lied and separated her from him out of selfishness. He never tried to separate her from them, even when it made him lose her, out of love for her That says a lot about who truly loves her
Real story aside. This is a beautiful movie. The fact that the guy loved her enough to not tell her the one thing he knew about her family that would make her stay was actually incredible. He wanted her to come back on her terms. He wasn’t going to drive her away from her family, by telling her about the affair. Because he knew that telling her about the affair would have been for him not for her.
Pls I'm not interested in this movie and cunning men like my ex husband....do not harass me with this bullshit. I had known about my ex husband's girlfriends and wanted him to be happy with someone he loved....and not stay stuck with me
The casting for this movie was amazing. For a long time I really believed that Jessica McNamee was Rachel McAdam’s real sister. They just look so much alike that my brain refused to believe they were just strangers. But, turns out they are! They’re both so beautiful
I don't care if the mom stayed with her husband after he cheated, that's her decision, it's her life, but what I find unforgivable was the way they manipulated her, took away her right to choose, rip her away of the life she made for herself and of the man she chose. Seriously I wouldn't be able to trust them ever again, they have literally been deceiving her every single second since the accident, all of them, it's disgusting.
I agree, I think people who chest are awful but then it’s the decision of the person who was cheated on to go or stay and we shouldn’t judge them for it. But they used their daughter’s memory loss against her
@@tbbcch1039 So she was supposed to obey the daughter to keep her? With all due respect, it wasn't the daughter's marriage; therefore it wasn't her decision. She should have honored her mother's decision even if she didn't agree with it. We don't get to tell other people what to do. Anyone who would use abandonment as punishment for not doing what they said is not someone I want in my life anyway.
@@misspriss2482 That's not the point. The point is she can't say that she stayed for her kids, when she was well aware that staying was hurting her child. . In any case, no one said anything about "obeying" the daughter. In fact we have no indication that the daughter ever told her what to do. But she should have wanted to leave on her own accord after seeing how he hurt her daughter. Don't forget he went after his daughter's friend; so it's not just about their marriage. . And the daughter left bc she was hurt, not to use "abandonment as punishment". She doesn't have to "honor" her mothers decision if she doesn't feel like it. Just as the mother was free to stay, she should be free to leave.
That means you are fully dependent on your man then. This teaches women to stick to disrespect and being disregarded. Children will go crazy and find that kind of love that they find in their parents. That’s why toxic relationships are here today.
@@usernameundefined123 Or maybe they will find that forgiveness is what marriages are built upon. Forgiveness doesn't lead to disrespect or disregard, in fact the opposite. Forgive others through Jesus Christ and let him take care of it.
"I chose to stay with him for all the things he had done right and not to leave him for the one thing he had done wrong" wow. Thats powerful Edit: This argument/philosophy has been inspirational to me in my life in general to be more understanding and forgiving with parents/family/friends etc. I've tended in the past to cut people out of my life due to the toxicity that comes with being immature and arrogant. And In some cases, depending ofcourse on the person and the circumstance, I think forgiving a spouse for one thing seems perfectly reasonable and fair to me. Now if you are the type of person who forgives abuse or continuous disrespect/cheating etc then that's on you to self reflect and evaluate. It usually stems from fear and insecurities, from what I have observed in people I know living in these situations. I knew when to walk away from my son's dad, but I don't judge my loved ones still living in their cycles even though I know it's because they are afraid to branch out on their own and lack that confidence in themselves to know that it will be ok. And on the other side of that coin, I know someone who cheated early in her relationship and now they are happily married because she realized his worth in her life and she's grown and healed from past toxicities. Remember always, Everyone has the right to their opinions, but no one should judge other people regardless. as you are not God or in their shoes. Have a blessed day (:
@@joshuaa1605 Actually cheating is a choice, not a mistake and that’s what people don’t understand. Once the person strays, the trust is never the same and over time it can really cause the innocent party to self destruct.
@@taraz6786 most mistakes are choices. Lol I think you're confusing mistake with an accident. A mistake is an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong. Like I said, people make mistakes.
@@joshuaa1605 I don’t know, I feel like cheating is a pretty active choice with intent & mistakes tend to be brief and devoid of malicious intent. The husband was having a full blown affair and only stopped it when his wife found out, that’s not a mistake, that’s the prolonged act of a selfish coward & frankly I’d be embarrassed if he was my husband. I honestly don’t understand how the wife can stand to look at him, never mind stay with him, because he’s cheated once and had no respect for her and the marriage, so what’s to stop him from doing it again and again and again. 🤷🏼♀️
It’s not about the cheating, because her mom choose forgiveness. It is about the whole family put aside important informations just to control the life of her daughter, that is the most heartbreaking part
you're exaggerating.. some lying and maybe some sneaking around, maybe.. but talking bs about you?! why?! and even so, if it was just a fling, ofc, you're gonna feel a little bit insecure, but time will heal it if you choose the good things over the bad things
Many people couldn't forgive someone for cheating on them. I couldn't. Someone than can is probably a better person than me. Either way, this is a powerful sense.
After cheating it's really difficult for the other person. Because he/she always have to live with insecurities and on the line and doesn't have any peace to their mind. It difficult to trust someone or the same person who cheated you again. Also most of the times, cheater will cheat again.
Yes, I agree and there are some who try to rationalize it...mostly the movie industry. They seem not to be very concerned about infidelity, It is in many of their movies. In this movie, The Vow/You knew The affair was more than once with that woman, so it was a choice he made. How does she know it was only with one woman? Broken trust is very difficult to live with...virtually impossible to remove it from your thoughts. Sad!
If someone cheated and you still want to stay that’s great. But you need marriage counseling to figure out what went wrong. Cheating is a symptom of deeper issues.
@@lauraschoenborn3544 not always. That’s what people says. “Deeper issues”.. It’s not it’s a very simple issue that the person who cheated you doesn’t love you anymore. That’s the ugly truth. Or maybe never loved at all. Some people want to correct what they did because they know they don’t have a future with the person they cheated on or because of the children they want to stay married or because of the culture. Sometimes cheating can happen because of the vulnerability you are facing at that specific moment because you don’t get the love and affection from the person you love but 99.9% it’s “Choice” not a mistake due to an issu
It’s not strong to stay, it’s stronger to leave. It’s not one thing he did wrong. There was multiple instances of lying, sneaking around, more lying- to you, to the mistress, to the kids. I would never be able to fully trust the person the same way after he cheated on me. In my mind I would always think, if he was able to see me everyday and make the real conscious decision to cheat when he knows that it would hurt me so much, how could I really trust him not to hurt me again?
I understand what you're saying. I think for some people, cheating just doesn't hurt them or bother them as much as it does others. If you asked me when I was 25 would I rather find out my spouse was having an affair or find out they had an gambling problem and lost a significant portion of our life savings I would have said gambling problem no question. It would be less hurtful. Now that I'm older I'm not so sure I'd care that much about the affair as long as he wasn't impregnating her or planning on leaving our family. 🤣 You gamble away our retirement fund though!?? Aw Hell no, GTFO, I can be broke alone.
I chose to stay because the other person hadn’t earned the right to take what I had built. I wasn’t ready to give my life my family to a good time Cheater. I came to realize how weak men can be.
Dont forget adultery is illgeal in a lot of countries, AND adultery can lead to murder. If my husband cheats on me, im leaving him ASAP. i do not need to be murdered in my sleep by him or his mistress, and i do not need to be jailed for killing him myself. Cheating causes a lot of strong emotions that can have you both in jail.
No. She knows that the family together is her real happiness and that's real for most people. It's perfectly reasonable to forgive ur husband of decades for a single adultery because there's already a family created. Marriage is not only about the good times.
@@TheStepmonkey in my opinion you're wrong, there's no reason to forgive for a spouse cheating, regardless of it's been 2 years or 32 years. she was afraid of being alone and single, when she could of been happy living with one of her kids
I'm sure it has taken her a long time to forgive, and she certainly won't ever forget. I don't understand how some people think it's easy to leave someone you have loved for decades and created a family with for an adulterous mistake. While I'll never condone cheating of any kind, if it truly is a once in a lifetime mistake, and he shows repent, and he works everyday to rebuild her trust in him, then I don't see why she wouldn't choose to stay.
“There were so many times I almost did,..but to drive you away from your family again? It’s just felt wrong” He was thinking about her and her family’s happiness and not for himself A True Man
I'm a senior citizen now, love movies seen a lot of them, so for me this is one of the best scenes in any movie I've ever seen. "I stayed with him for all the things he's done right and not leave him for the 1 thing he did wrong, I chose to forgive him." OMG what a scene.
Ya ive heard that before. Her husband cheated the whole marriage, her sons helped hide it, they all dined his drinking and when she got cancer and he left her for his girlfriend for a few months and then came back because she wasn’t willing to put up with his drinking and his wife took him back and became and I quote “ I didn’t want all our history to go to waste. I’m staying because of everything he did right and not the few things he did wrong” He still gets drunk and yells and still sleep around and she still pretends she’s happy because she’s got a house and her bills are paid but her soul broke a long time ago.
The thing I don’t like about this whole series of events is that they chose not to tell Paige. If she decided to stay that’s entirely cool but not telling Paige was a terrible choice they made not for her but for them. So they could be in control.
I know, it’s based on a true story and they are still Married. But the problem is they took the choice to choose away from her by keeping it from her. They absolutely should’ve told her.
I mean, her husband knew too, but that wasn’t his place to tell and he had the right reasons why he didn’t tell her. He want her to come back on her own terms, but the family kind of did it selfishly because they were afraid of her leaving them again, but they should’ve told her and let her and be honest with her because you know she might not unless I left them this time but I wasn’t right for them to use her accident as an excuse and again you can’t nobody to be mad her husband because again it wasn’t his place to tell her. It was her family‘s place to tell her and if he told her then he would be the one being selfish because he would’ve been gonna try to keep her And how much she loved her and didn’t wanna lose her then yeah it’s so understandable
They divorced in 2018, he was cheating on her. So dude went from being so in love with her and winning her back to breaking her heart years later and breaking his vow.
2 of the most powerful statements in this film 1. “ I chose to stay with him for all the things he had done right, and not to leave him for the one thing he had done wrong” and 2. “I wanted your love, just not like that, I wanted to earn it.” These two statements are perfect examples of what love truly is. Selflessness, compassion, forgiveness, grace. Being able to truly put someone else above oneself, even if you are right and they are wrong, and being able to let go of the past and move on towards the future.
@@tracim3080 that’s not at all what I said and I will not allow you to twist my words to fit your narrative. In marriage there are ups and downs and yes there are times when it is necessary to leave because to stay would be of harm to oneself either emotionally, psychologically or physically. However, choosing to stay because one has chosen to forgive a single act of indiscretion is not the same as not knowing when to leave. There is no judgment here, on my part. You however have judged every single woman who has chosen to forgive their spouse and stay not because they HAD TO but because THEY CHOSE TO! Who are you to decide what is right and what is wrong for every woman on the planet? You do you! But you don’t have the right or the authority to decide for every woman on the planet what is the right choice for them. Whether it be choosing to get married, choosing to remain married, choosing to have a child, choosing to have an abortion, whatever, YOU do not have the right to make these choices for anyone but yourself. And so we are clear, love is more than simply roses and chocolate candy, love often times goes through storms, if people can weather the storms then usually that determines if the love is strong and true, and if not then the couple gets divorced. Yes, there are times that people remain in loveless marriages for all the wrong reasons, but that is not the case in this situation. Just so we are clear
@@allsaintschurch-anglican7656 the woman who stay and take it made life harder on those who didn’t. Woman like the one in these scenes are the ones who set womans right back decades. They were used as examples for the ones who don’t stay. “Look she stay, their family together” oh what she actually suffers depression and her kids are miserable. But hey they they didn’t divorce so true love won 🙄 Stop kidding yourself about why women stay. It’s NEVER love. It’s always because they can’t handle life changing. Nothing to do love and self respect.
@@tracim3080 I’m going to assume you’ve been cheated on and were hurt and if that’s the case I’m truly sorry about that. No one deserves to be betrayed or to have to deal with that kind of hurt. But that still doesn’t give you the right to decide for all women everywhere what is right for them. What was right for you may not be right for every woman. Some women… hell some men even, decide to stay and try to work things out… and sometimes it does work out. Sometimes it does not. But regardless, that’s not for you to decide! You only have the right to decide what is right for YOU! I wish you well on your journey.
@@allsaintschurch-anglican7656 it’s not right for anyone to be in relationship with people who disrespect them. It’s part of the abuse cycle to forgive that shit. The lies women tell themselves about why they stay are just that. A lie. I’ve heard these excuses many times. I’ve listened to woman after woman say those same things every single one was a broke soul. I’ve literally ever met or heard of somebody actually being happy with their partner after forgiving them for cheating. I’ve heard them claim to while drinking or drugging themselves numb or suffering depression. Their in therapy talking about how they cry whenever they’re alone but if anyone asked their happy their marriage is perfect.
“ I chose to stay with him for all the things he did not and, not leave for the one thing he did wrong”. That was so powerful I know it wasn’t easy but, I love she made that tough decision for herself.❤
Stupid decision honestly. How do you stay with a man that cheated on you with someone that not only is the same age as your daughter but was your daughters friend!! That’s too massive of a red flag and horrible action to overlook and forgive.
I still love this movie regardless of what had happened with the real life couple. I’m not unsympathetic but I can’t say I’m surprised. You meet the love of your life You get married A tragic car accident causes a traumatic brain injury resulting in memory loss. Come to find out that your wife doesn’t know who you are, you try so hard to help her regain her memory. You divorce, she comes back but her memory never comes back from the accident. In the husband’s defense she was never going to be the same version of herself that he fell in love with before the accident. He should have never gotten back with her but he still wanted to try and sadly it wasn’t enough. I don’t condone cheating and it’s not his wife’s fault it’s just a terrible situation all around. For both of them
@@keitht24 the father also broke her trust, as a member of the family and because the affair involved her friend, and even so, she made a life for herself and chose someone to spend it with and they didn't hesitate to rip her away from it and even actively tried to destroy it, they took away her right to choose, they manipulated her and that is unforgivable.
@@ari_S.A It seems that the affair & her mother forgiving her father is what initially drove her to leave. Yes, what her father did was fucked up. But if he apologized, was truly remorseful & her mother choose to forgive. That's not something they should've brought up to stir up drama again.
@@keitht24 I get that but after the accident she was so confused of why she left, she was having it really rough, especially with Leo and she had the right of a proper explanation, she deserved all of the facts to try to understand her decisions, but instead they just made her feel like one day she lost it, threw her life away and abandoned all of them without a reason. And as much as it was her parents affair it actively involved her because again it was her friend and it breach her trust in her dad (which is a different relationship than the one her parents share) and besides, it affected her immensely, she deserved the truth of why she changed her whole life and if the mother understood that she had the right to choose to stay with her husband or not she should've been the first to understand that Paige also deserved the right to choose to forgive her father, instead they made the deception worse and all of them broke her trust at once.
@@ari_S.A Here's the thing, there's no good time to share that with her. In her current state of mind, there's no way to tell how she'd react with her amnesia. So if I was asked by the parents. I'd tell them to wait until she was fully adjusted to the situation. I know this movie is based on a real life event & the film makers took some liberties with the story. But she really wasn't in any position to be judgemental of her father. Given her behavior with her ex, despite the fact that she was married. She was living in a glass house with that one.
That's always great "parenting"... Cheating always seems like such an easy thing to brush under the carpet...until your "carpet" catches fire... People tend to forget that AIDS and stuff is still floating around out there... You say you love your children and stay together for the children, but when one spouse puts another at risk for death ..how much do you really love your children or that person or even yourself?
Bit hypocritical, she refused to leave her husband after her betrayal, but doesn't want her daughters husband to stay with her despite him keeping the secret? Values only matter when you want them too I guess.
Which part makes you believe in love, because it did the opposite for me? 😂 The husband cheated as usual and the wife didn’t have enough self respect to leave as per usual and then tries to sugarcoat it as some powerful romantic gesture when it’s just her weakness & lack of self worth. It’s such an old trope.
Well for me the part of the Mom chose to stay with his cheating husband even he did that to her.It's hard for her to stomach it. But she did it not just for hesrself but for her children.And also the part of Chaning Tatum character he knows the affair of his wife's friend and her dad! He did not use it for her wife choose to go with him back home.
@@jesteralfonso8409 You should never choose to stay for your kids, especially if they’re adults because they don’t stay in the house so at the end of the day, she’s stuck with her husband alone. Also Channing’s character was amazing in this movie, so selfless and he really loved her unconditionally.
Well unfortunately the real life couple (who Leo and Paige are based on) divorced several years ago because of his infidelity. So personally watching this film isn’t the same anymore. Maybe some things in the film are different than what happened in real life (like the film doesn’t use the couple’s real names etc) but the romantic element of the story is gone.
The way she says I was already to leave I was all alone in the house I could almost hear her voice break wow what an incredible actress so much emotion
The Vow is a very good movie. If you watch it, you'll see that everyone in her family and (old) friend group treats Leo like dirt under their shoes. Yet he never retaliates, except in one short, glorious instance, but you'll have to watch the whole thing to see it.
The mother was a liar, coward and selfish. Ok fine she forgave her husband but at least she should have tried to help reunite her daughter with Leo. She did not even show one ounce of care or respect for Leo. Thats her son in law.
I hated this movie. Rachel McAdam turns her back on Channing Tatum’s character. Then she reappears in his life and gets automatically forgiven. His pain was ignored.
It’s bc it’s based on real life and real life people are flawed I didn’t like it too but I was in my early teens and thought this was gonna be a sweet romance but I appreciate it now
@@yas4346 I appreciate your take. However, I left the theater disappointed. I like romantic movies but I wasn’t rooting for this couple in the end. She really hurt him, and I don’t feel she acknowledged that in the end. Rachel’s character came off as entitled and insensitive.
@@avalangrin4904 I agree. I get she's going through something awful. But dang, EVERYTHING had to be about her. She barely acknowledged her mom being really raw with her just now, it was all about how SHE felt about it.
I think that moment highlights how she is just like her mom. They both ignore the needs of the ones that truly care for them to repeat cycles of false happiness.
My parents also stayed together despite all their issues and as an adult I became grateful for it. Because I became sick at one point and they were my rock. I have always disliked what others call romance because it is not realistic. The people I know that have stayed together did it because they have overcame not because they romanticized love. If you want a committed relationship and a family you give up parts of yourself but that’s ok because you don’t really lose that part of yourself it just goes to your family, your unit. I have that and my mom had it and people will never know that anymore. We make mistakes and we fail each other but the truth is there is nothing better out in there in the world. You can go and search and you’ll never find it. The world is a hard place so you need a real home to come back to. I think so many people are lost today because of this. We chase what will give us momentary happiness but those things will never give us fulfillment. I am glad that I have my family they are my greatest treasure and any person that wants to be with me will know that. That I have seen what it means to love and I will never settle for the glamour and the bs. Because that’s not real that’s a high you get from watching too much crap that it fries your brain.
my grandparents stayed together and they constantly fight.there is no love.nobody can't stand them when they are together.constant arguing.my grandma wanted to leave but outlook to starting paying rent for her own living was definent no.lot of couples stay in toxic relationship because lack of living arrangments.my grandpa also cheated and granny was even more bitter about this
@@ansaksa it's a rigid rigged system that preys on young women. Then once you sign on in your 20's... you sometimes lose the best Years of your life. Divorce is over 50%
@@ansaksa I have observed this type of scenario as well, it’s sad to watch the severely abused partner. I also wish that some partners should find it in them to leave abusive relationships for the sake of their sanity. That takes a lot of strength. But there are some scenarios where partners in relationships give up early. There are also scenarios where relationships though longterm, they are very unhappy due to wrong expectations. The media is teaching us that if you don’t feel love or affection, you leave; if your partner cheats, you leave; if you are bored, you leave; if your ex comes back, it’s okay to reconnect with them and leave your current partner if he or she is not as exciting...etc. ‘Love’ is never just there in a relationship. After the initial phase of romantic love; (which most movies are based on) love is a day-to-day deliberate decision to forgive, forbear, endure, overlook, sacrifice one’s interests and rights for the sake of the wholesomeness of the whole family. Often, one of the partners will end up sacrificing more than the other. That’s what it takes; life is not fair. I wish movies showing how long lasting marriages/relationships look like were as popular. Maybe such movies are there, but they are not interesting to watch; hence no demand for them because the process of building such marriages/ relationships is not pretty, its not fair, its sad and at times even abusive. Rather than starting out a relationship with “boundaries which partners shouldn’t cross or else.. “ maybe it’s more realistic to expect that there is a 100 % chance that either partner will fail the other at some point due to life’s pressures and selfishness. Therefore, we ought to prepare to forgive because we too are not perfect, at some point we will need forgiveness. Maybe that would be a better approach. And that also takes a lot of strength.
I mean, forgiving him for cheating you is your business. But for doing it with your daughter’s friend?? How can any parent forgive their partner after hurting their child like that?? I’m surprised no one’s pointing that out.
I mean “the one thing he did wrong” is such a huge way of underselling what an unbelievable piece of shit he was to both his wife and his daughter. And the fact that she continued to stay with him even after it drove her daughter away is just the cherry on top.
@@moroccogirl9096 Love doesn't keep your heart from hurting and it doesn't keep people around. Cheating on someone shows you always wanted more than what the person could give.
Forgiveness is forgiveness, it's not being "romanticized" or to put anyone on a pedestal. We all make mistakes, whether we admit it or not. Jessica Lange portrayed a scene of what it means to have unconditional love in this movie. If we can all give up on someone that we love so easily every time they mess up, then we're destined to spend our lives alone. It is NOT easy to forgive after we've been hurt, and find the strength to keep a marriage/relationship together. It doesn't make them a coward, by any means. I don't think it's fair for anyone to judge a person for choosing to stay afterwards... We don't always know the situations in every relationship. A person that cheats could have a deeper problem, something that's going on with them that they've never had help with. I'm not saying that someone shouldn't leave if it's bad enough... But it doesn't have to be the answer every time it happens. Rly, I just have the understanding to know that some ppl will do whatever they have to do, whatever they feel is right when they truly love someone. And if it ends up being a mistake, then we have to find that out for ourselves. We can't live to make everyone else happy when we choose to let go of the hurt...If she found forgiveness for her husband, but her daughter can't, then that's not her fault. We find forgiveness in our own time when we are ready. If we're going to be technical about the movie, she's being a hypocrite towards her mother, while she's having old feelings for her ex and kissing him while she's still married. But in the end, they found their way back to each other. When I look at the entire story, I sense a bigger message behind it than just what's found in one scene. But even this scene is pretty powerful. It's a tough topic... I completely get that. And I'm sorry that so many have felt that betrayal. People have their reasons to hate it, I have my reasons to sympathize with it. It can ve very emotional from either POV that it's looked at.
Leo did some dumb things in his desperate attempts to make her remember their love (most obvious being inviting their friends over when he first brought her back home) but it's still nothing compared to what the rest of her family did. They manipulated her and used her head injury for their own selfish reasons. I am convinced she would have never found out the truth if she hadn't ran into Diane, her parents and sister wanted to pretend the whole didn't happen so they certainly weren't going to tell her and Leo didn't want to split the family apart again so he wasn't going to tell her either.
It’s all fine and everything for her to forgive her husband for cheating and move on from it if you’re able to really forgive someone who’s been unfaithful to you I say more power to you to be able to find forgiveness for something like that but the fact of the matter is they’ve all kept this from Paige when she had a right to kno especially since she genuinely couldn’t fathom why in the world she would leave her family in the first place. If they had been honest with her from the beginning and her mom told her all this before then mayb she could’ve been understanding in time but instead they all kept this horrible secret from her cuz they were only thinking about what was best for their pretentious family which was to lie so they could play happy family and have their preppy law school daughter back and that’s incredibly manipulative. Her entire family is so unbelievably selfish they saw her accident as a chance for them put things back the way they wanted it to be and that was more important to them than her being able to find out who she truly is. They had absolutely no regard for what was best for her they jus wanted her back in a way that suited them like she said it was only on their terms it was all about them and what they wanted.
i often wonder had she had the financial means to go, if her answer would have been different. but it probably had more to do with not wanting to be alone. which is just sad...
There’s nothing strong about staying with a cheater. I don’t want to hear the stories of your parents or grandparents staying together after affairs is not a goal. That is pathetic.
@@lifeofmarshae not when legally they were not allowed to sign anything or get jobs to help support themselves and get a lawyer to leave. That’s a nice saying for a meme but it’s not realistic for everyone.
@@lifeofmarshae enjoy talking like a meme and staying out of the real world. We aren’t actually that many decades past women being man’s property. Anyone 60 and up grew up with the mentality that you can’t leave unless the man wants you to. Legally.
Let’s just accept that cheating and forgiveness, are very personal things. For some people is tolerable and forgivable, and for other there is no such thing as forgiveness after cheating. Is such a complex topic, because is a very personal topic. ❤
People are so quick to leave another person the 1st time that person messes up. We all mess up, have messed up or will mess up. We all have cheated, have been cheated on. I just wouldn't sleep with my kid's friend, that just feels wrong, like they were my own kid.
“I just want you to know your dad ended it when your mom confronted him about us”…… so if the mom never confronted him, her dad would have continued sleeping with his daughter’s bestie and the mom forgave him because it was “the one thing he did wrong”. I’m reality it wasn’t ONE thing. It destroyed his daughter, he continued to lie to his wife, and continuously broke his vows.
I can actually totally understand the mom. When I was younger, I was always very strongly on the "of course I'd totally break up with my boyfriend if he cheated on me!!"-side. But the older I grow, and the longer I've been with my partner, the more my view changes. If my partner cheated on me now, as much of a shitty thing and break of trust that is, I'm pretty sure I'd forgive him if he put effort into being forgiven. He's been treating me more than well for years, can't just throw all that away. And we don't even have kids that need to be factored in.
While I try not to judge someone for whatever decisions they take in their relationships, don't you think that that is more of a pragmatic decision than a personal one? "I have spent so much time in this relationship, I cant just terminate it on one action, where would I go, who would take me"? Even if you don't believe in the sanctity of trust in a relationship that is gone once broken, all evidence points to that if a cheater is forgiven they are incentivized to just do it again and again.
@@adityaakaulactually, evidence points towards most infidelities being a one- or two-time incident. So if someone is discovered and wants to reconcile, it could very likely be the only occurrence. It’s really an individual decision that must be made by the two people in a marriage, not by anyone else.
I wonder if it was the other way round, would the mother have been forgive if she cheated. It’s easier to expect others to forgive, but what if your the one who’s been hurt.
People think it’s weak to stay when your partner breaks your trust. But honestly, there’s profound strength in either choice as long as you’re the one making it for yourself and sticking by it. Either you leave and commit to being on your own or you stay and commit to pulling through and working toward healing together. Either choice takes a lot.
Mum replied: "I was going to leave...I was....I was ready to leave and one afternoon. I was all alone in that house and I started looking all the photographs of you and your sister and the house seems full of us. We were a family..Paige..(crying) and I realised in that moment that, that was the most important thing in the world for me and I couldn't...I could not go...I chose to stay with him for all the things he had done right and not to leave him for the one thing he had done wrong. I chose to forgive him". These are powerful words.
This is bs in the fact that the family lied to her about all of it. As for the mother, if she wants to stay with her cheating husband who slept with her daughter’s best friend is whatever. To me it is far beyond messed up. For me personally, I could never stay with someone who cheated on me. I would forgive him however taking him back would never happen. I am a loyal person and nearly came close to cheating one time but I stopped it before it ever became anything because I saw how much it hurt my mother when my father cheated on my mother so many times. I didn’t want to be like that and I never will. The fact that a woman or a man remains loyal no matter how bad things get and yet your husband or wife or partner cheats on you, breaks your heart, trust and creates a mental wall around you. If that trust is to ever be shattered to me directly, I would forgive them and wish the best. But never would I ever stay with the person that cheated on me.
Its definitely hard to walk away but I think it would be just as hard if not more to stay and try again, despite the betrayal. Most of us just don't have the emotional energy to take the risk because we don't want to be fooled again. I don't think I would stay but I admire those couples that work on their issues and manage to heal.
She expressed that she was lonely, yes. But through that loneliness she realized the value of her daughters and her history with her husband. If she stayed because she was /just lonely/, she wouldn’t be able to make the choice to forgive her husband at all. She is strong because she stayed, not for the superficial “nice life”, but the life she created genuinely with her family. We miss it cause it’s a movie, but I’m sure that forgiveness didn’t come easy. For couples who try to get through a mistake like that, the husband probably needed to do a lot more. We were simply given the skinny version of what transpired after the truth came out.
Infidelity is the death of a marriage. Any woman who stays doesn’t respect herself and is operating from fear instead of doing the right thing and leaving the perpetrator.
I chose to stay with him for all things that he had done right, and not to leave him for the one thing that he had done wrong. I chose to forgive him. Only a handful of people would have the courage to forgive something like that.
So, there are people who can forgive their partner for cheating, because he made that one mistake…!! Because maybe their partner is really capable of change…!! Maybe some people are capable of forgiving..good for them..!! For some others cheating in a relationship marks the end of that relationship. And that’s a fair decision too..!! Human beings can perceive relationships differently…it’s not the end of the world..!
Jessica Lange is the goat. I don’t speak to my family, if I had a traumatic brain injury and people just lied to me to keep me from knowing why I had cut my family off thus enabling them to be near me, I would feel so betrayed and gaslit
I like how the character Leo doesn't abuse information he knows, its not his secret to tell even though it may benefit him in the short run
Me too! Unlike her family he actually put what was best for her ahead of himself. He’s hella selfless!
and it based on a true story
@@mightbeLara. Indeed, however in the end they did divorce after cheating in real life. Sad, and true unfortunately. 🙂↔️
It's insane to me though that he didn't tell her. I'm not even sure it is the right thing to do? I mean spouses keep no secrets anyways? Unless they're afraid of the consequences IE. cheating, drug use, money issues etc. But still, IDK, it's weird to me.
Her parents chose not to tell her because they wanted to keep her for themselves
He chose not to tell her despite knowing she would leave him
They lied and separated her from him out of selfishness.
He never tried to separate her from them, even when it made him lose her, out of love for her
That says a lot about who truly loves her
Destiny
Well said
Exactly.
Real story aside. This is a beautiful movie. The fact that the guy loved her enough to not tell her the one thing he knew about her family that would make her stay was actually incredible. He wanted her to come back on her terms. He wasn’t going to drive her away from her family, by telling her about the affair. Because he knew that telling her about the affair would have been for him not for her.
So true! That's real love
Kindly stop spamming such videos thanks so much
It was true love for a while and they got back together until years later he cheated on her
Yes a selfless act
Pls I'm not interested in this movie and cunning men like my ex husband....do not harass me with this bullshit.
I had known about my ex husband's girlfriends and wanted him to be happy with someone he loved....and not stay stuck with me
The casting for this movie was amazing. For a long time I really believed that Jessica McNamee was Rachel McAdam’s real sister. They just look so much alike that my brain refused to believe they were just strangers. But, turns out they are! They’re both so beautiful
They are real sisters legit??
@@daniellegalang6924. No!😊
This girl isn't Rachel McAdam's?
I don't care if the mom stayed with her husband after he cheated, that's her decision, it's her life, but what I find unforgivable was the way they manipulated her, took away her right to choose, rip her away of the life she made for herself and of the man she chose. Seriously I wouldn't be able to trust them ever again, they have literally been deceiving her every single second since the accident, all of them, it's disgusting.
I didn’t like the way that she says she stay because of her daughters
I agree, I think people who chest are awful but then it’s the decision of the person who was cheated on to go or stay and we shouldn’t judge them for it. But they used their daughter’s memory loss against her
@@3bowwow22Specially when she continued to stay with him even after it drove one of her daughters away.
@@tbbcch1039 So she was supposed to obey the daughter to keep her? With all due respect, it wasn't the daughter's marriage; therefore it wasn't her decision. She should have honored her mother's decision even if she didn't agree with it. We don't get to tell other people what to do. Anyone who would use abandonment as punishment for not doing what they said is not someone I want in my life anyway.
@@misspriss2482 That's not the point. The point is she can't say that she stayed for her kids, when she was well aware that staying was hurting her child.
.
In any case, no one said anything about "obeying" the daughter. In fact we have no indication that the daughter ever told her what to do.
But she should have wanted to leave on her own accord after seeing how he hurt her daughter. Don't forget he went after his daughter's friend; so it's not just about their marriage.
.
And the daughter left bc she was hurt, not to use "abandonment as punishment". She doesn't have to "honor" her mothers decision if she doesn't feel like it. Just as the mother was free to stay, she should be free to leave.
As an older person this scene hits so different now. I may not agree with the mum but I can also see her pov.It’s not so easy to just up n leave.
Depends if there is still trust and affection between u and ur partner. Ppl always deserve a second chance
She put her family first, sensible woman that aside dick move by the husband.
I read once "Decide to divorce is way more difficult than to marry"
That means you are fully dependent on your man then. This teaches women to stick to disrespect and being disregarded. Children will go crazy and find that kind of love that they find in their parents. That’s why toxic relationships are here today.
@@usernameundefined123 Or maybe they will find that forgiveness is what marriages are built upon. Forgiveness doesn't lead to disrespect or disregard, in fact the opposite. Forgive others through Jesus Christ and let him take care of it.
This scene has incredible acting. Just genius.
Jessica Lange is the real MVP.
Sarah is so pretty I remember her from a TV series called Smallville where she played Alicia
What’s really incredible is people still worship insane people that get paid millions to play pretend.
"I chose to stay with him for all the things he had done right and not to leave him for the one thing he had done wrong" wow. Thats powerful
Edit:
This argument/philosophy has been inspirational to me in my life in general to be more understanding and forgiving with parents/family/friends etc. I've tended in the past to cut people out of my life due to the toxicity that comes with being immature and arrogant. And In some cases, depending ofcourse on the person and the circumstance, I think forgiving a spouse for one thing seems perfectly reasonable and fair to me.
Now if you are the type of person who forgives abuse or continuous disrespect/cheating etc then that's on you to self reflect and evaluate. It usually stems from fear and insecurities, from what I have observed in people I know living in these situations. I knew when to walk away from my son's dad, but I don't judge my loved ones still living in their cycles even though I know it's because they are afraid to branch out on their own and lack that confidence in themselves to know that it will be ok.
And on the other side of that coin, I know someone who cheated early in her relationship and now they are happily married because she realized his worth in her life and she's grown and healed from past toxicities.
Remember always, Everyone has the right to their opinions, but no one should judge other people regardless. as you are not God or in their shoes.
Have a blessed day (:
No that’s stupid!! She chose to ignore Redflag and ignore reality
@@emmavari9530 people make mistakes. And it makes perfect sense. It's called forgiveness. Let that anger out
@@joshuaa1605 Actually cheating is a choice, not a mistake and that’s what people don’t understand. Once the person strays, the trust is never the same and over time it can really cause the innocent party to self destruct.
@@taraz6786 most mistakes are choices. Lol I think you're confusing mistake with an accident. A mistake is an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong. Like I said, people make mistakes.
@@joshuaa1605 I don’t know, I feel like cheating is a pretty active choice with intent & mistakes tend to be brief and devoid of malicious intent. The husband was having a full blown affair and only stopped it when his wife found out, that’s not a mistake, that’s the prolonged act of a selfish coward & frankly I’d be embarrassed if he was my husband. I honestly don’t understand how the wife can stand to look at him, never mind stay with him, because he’s cheated once and had no respect for her and the marriage, so what’s to stop him from doing it again and again and again. 🤷🏼♀️
It’s not about the cheating, because her mom choose forgiveness.
It is about the whole family put aside important informations just to control the life of her daughter, that is the most heartbreaking part
The one thing he did wrong comes with A LOT OF BS. There was a lot of lying, sneaking around, talking shit about you, etc.
you're exaggerating.. some lying and maybe some sneaking around, maybe.. but talking bs about you?! why?! and even so, if it was just a fling, ofc, you're gonna feel a little bit insecure, but time will heal it if you choose the good things over the bad things
@@ciuciobelo Tell that to you're future Ex-Wife's lawyer. Oh its true, its true!
@@SortaDopeIGuess it's called a prenup
Many people couldn't forgive someone for cheating on them.
I couldn't. Someone than can is probably a better person than me.
Either way, this is a powerful sense.
@@deathbyvelocity7541 no people who forgive such a big thing are doormats.
After cheating it's really difficult for the other person. Because he/she always have to live with insecurities and on the line and doesn't have any peace to their mind. It difficult to trust someone or the same person who cheated you again. Also most of the times, cheater will cheat again.
Yes, I agree and there are some who try to rationalize it...mostly the movie industry. They seem not to be very concerned about infidelity, It is in many of their movies. In this movie, The Vow/You knew The affair was more than once with that woman, so it was a choice he made. How does she know it was only with one woman? Broken trust is very difficult to live with...virtually impossible to remove it from your thoughts. Sad!
If someone cheated and you still want to stay that’s great. But you need marriage counseling to figure out what went wrong. Cheating is a symptom of deeper issues.
@@lauraschoenborn3544 not always. That’s what people says. “Deeper issues”.. It’s not it’s a very simple issue that the person who cheated you doesn’t love you anymore. That’s the ugly truth. Or maybe never loved at all. Some people want to correct what they did because they know they don’t have a future with the person they cheated on or because of the children they want to stay married or because of the culture. Sometimes cheating can happen because of the vulnerability you are facing at that specific moment because you don’t get the love and affection from the person you love but 99.9% it’s “Choice” not a mistake due to an issu
It’s not strong to stay, it’s stronger to leave. It’s not one thing he did wrong. There was multiple instances of lying, sneaking around, more lying- to you, to the mistress, to the kids. I would never be able to fully trust the person the same way after he cheated on me.
In my mind I would always think, if he was able to see me everyday and make the real conscious decision to cheat when he knows that it would hurt me so much, how could I really trust him not to hurt me again?
Every couple is different..you cannot justify what's right or wrong for others unless it's a crime...
I understand what you're saying. I think for some people, cheating just doesn't hurt them or bother them as much as it does others. If you asked me when I was 25 would I rather find out my spouse was having an affair or find out they had an gambling problem and lost a significant portion of our life savings I would have said gambling problem no question. It would be less hurtful. Now that I'm older I'm not so sure I'd care that much about the affair as long as he wasn't impregnating her or planning on leaving our family. 🤣 You gamble away our retirement fund though!?? Aw Hell no, GTFO, I can be broke alone.
Yes, cheating says a lot about a persons character.
I chose to stay because the other person hadn’t earned the right to take what I had built. I wasn’t ready to give my life my family to a good time Cheater. I came to realize how weak men can be.
Dont forget adultery is illgeal in a lot of countries, AND adultery can lead to murder. If my husband cheats on me, im leaving him ASAP. i do not need to be murdered in my sleep by him or his mistress, and i do not need to be jailed for killing him myself. Cheating causes a lot of strong emotions that can have you both in jail.
Forgiving doesnt mean you have to stay. She should have admitted she was afraid to be alone.
i agree she didn't stay with him because of forgiveness she was afraid to be alone when she couldn't of eaisly left to live with her daughter
No. She knows that the family together is her real happiness and that's real for most people. It's perfectly reasonable to forgive ur husband of decades for a single adultery because there's already a family created. Marriage is not only about the good times.
@@TheStepmonkey in my opinion you're wrong, there's no reason to forgive for a spouse cheating, regardless of it's been 2 years or 32 years. she was afraid of being alone and single, when she could of been happy living with one of her kids
@@TheStepmonkey she was a coward
I'm sure it has taken her a long time to forgive, and she certainly won't ever forget. I don't understand how some people think it's easy to leave someone you have loved for decades and created a family with for an adulterous mistake. While I'll never condone cheating of any kind, if it truly is a once in a lifetime mistake, and he shows repent, and he works everyday to rebuild her trust in him, then I don't see why she wouldn't choose to stay.
“There were so many times I almost did,..but to drive you away from your family again? It’s just felt wrong”
He was thinking about her and her family’s happiness and not for himself
A True Man
Luv this!
Absolutely! Unlike her family he thought about what was best for her instead of himself.
not in real life
@@AveryBui1402 Wait,…wasn’t this based on real life?
@@nnk9305 it is but the real couple divorced
I'm a senior citizen now, love movies seen a lot of them, so for me this is one of the best scenes in any movie I've ever seen. "I stayed with him for all the things he's done right and not leave him for the 1 thing he did wrong, I chose to forgive him." OMG what a scene.
Ya ive heard that before. Her husband cheated the whole marriage, her sons helped hide it, they all dined his drinking and when she got cancer and he left her for his girlfriend for a few months and then came back because she wasn’t willing to put up with his drinking and his wife took him back and became and I quote “ I didn’t want all our history to go to waste. I’m staying because of everything he did right and not the few things he did wrong”
He still gets drunk and yells and still sleep around and she still pretends she’s happy because she’s got a house and her bills are paid but her soul broke a long time ago.
what is wrong with you? @@tracim3080
The thing I don’t like about this whole series of events is that they chose not to tell Paige. If she decided to stay that’s entirely cool but not telling Paige was a terrible choice they made not for her but for them. So they could be in control.
I know, it’s based on a true story and they are still Married. But the problem is they took the choice to choose away from her by keeping it from her. They absolutely should’ve told her.
@@kirbyjustine1 they are not married anymore. The husband cheated so they divorced a few years ago
I did not know that he cheated on her wow😮
I mean, her husband knew too, but that wasn’t his place to tell and he had the right reasons why he didn’t tell her. He want her to come back on her own terms, but the family kind of did it selfishly because they were afraid of her leaving them again, but they should’ve told her and let her and be honest with her because you know she might not unless I left them this time but I wasn’t right for them to use her accident as an excuse and again you can’t nobody to be mad her husband because again it wasn’t his place to tell her. It was her family‘s place to tell her and if he told her then he would be the one being selfish because he would’ve been gonna try to keep her And how much she loved her and didn’t wanna lose her then yeah it’s so understandable
5:37 The way Paige starts to nod .... that is class.. perfect piece of acting ...
They divorced in 2018, he was cheating on her. So dude went from being so in love with her and winning her back to breaking her heart years later and breaking his vow.
I kno I couldn’t believe that shit!
@@scartee13 is that true?
@@zpt7093 look it up .
Who's their real name?
@@gold.digger.g1rl kim and Krickett carpenter
2 of the most powerful statements in this film 1. “ I chose to stay with him for all the things he had done right, and not to leave him for the one thing he had done wrong” and 2. “I wanted your love, just not like that, I wanted to earn it.” These two statements are perfect examples of what love truly is. Selflessness, compassion, forgiveness, grace. Being able to truly put someone else above oneself, even if you are right and they are wrong, and being able to let go of the past and move on towards the future.
Oh fuck no. Staying because you don’t know how to leave is not love.
@@tracim3080 that’s not at all what I said and I will not allow you to twist my words to fit your narrative. In marriage there are ups and downs and yes there are times when it is necessary to leave because to stay would be of harm to oneself either emotionally, psychologically or physically. However, choosing to stay because one has chosen to forgive a single act of indiscretion is not the same as not knowing when to leave. There is no judgment here, on my part. You however have judged every single woman who has chosen to forgive their spouse and stay not because they HAD TO but because THEY CHOSE TO! Who are you to decide what is right and what is wrong for every woman on the planet? You do you! But you don’t have the right or the authority to decide for every woman on the planet what is the right choice for them. Whether it be choosing to get married, choosing to remain married, choosing to have a child, choosing to have an abortion, whatever, YOU do not have the right to make these choices for anyone but yourself. And so we are clear, love is more than simply roses and chocolate candy, love often times goes through storms, if people can weather the storms then usually that determines if the love is strong and true, and if not then the couple gets divorced. Yes, there are times that people remain in loveless marriages for all the wrong reasons, but that is not the case in this situation. Just so we are clear
@@allsaintschurch-anglican7656 the woman who stay and take it made life harder on those who didn’t. Woman like the one in these scenes are the ones who set womans right back decades. They were used as examples for the ones who don’t stay. “Look she stay, their family together” oh what she actually suffers depression and her kids are miserable. But hey they they didn’t divorce so true love won 🙄
Stop kidding yourself about why women stay. It’s NEVER love. It’s always because they can’t handle life changing. Nothing to do love and self respect.
@@tracim3080 I’m going to assume you’ve been cheated on and were hurt and if that’s the case I’m truly sorry about that. No one deserves to be betrayed or to have to deal with that kind of hurt. But that still doesn’t give you the right to decide for all women everywhere what is right for them. What was right for you may not be right for every woman. Some women… hell some men even, decide to stay and try to work things out… and sometimes it does work out. Sometimes it does not. But regardless, that’s not for you to decide! You only have the right to decide what is right for YOU! I wish you well on your journey.
@@allsaintschurch-anglican7656 it’s not right for anyone to be in relationship with people who disrespect them. It’s part of the abuse cycle to forgive that shit.
The lies women tell themselves about why they stay are just that. A lie.
I’ve heard these excuses many times. I’ve listened to woman after woman say those same things every single one was a broke soul. I’ve literally ever met or heard of somebody actually being happy with their partner after forgiving them for cheating. I’ve heard them claim to while drinking or drugging themselves numb or suffering depression. Their in therapy talking about how they cry whenever they’re alone but if anyone asked their happy their marriage is perfect.
“ I chose to stay with him for all the things he did not and, not leave for the one thing he did wrong”. That was so powerful I know it wasn’t easy but, I love she made that tough decision for herself.❤
Stupid decision honestly. How do you stay with a man that cheated on you with someone that not only is the same age as your daughter but was your daughters friend!! That’s too massive of a red flag and horrible action to overlook and forgive.
@emiliat8717 Exactly!! That's not mistake, that's a character issue.
I still love this movie regardless of what had happened with the real life couple.
I’m not unsympathetic but I can’t say I’m surprised.
You meet the love of your life
You get married
A tragic car accident causes a traumatic brain injury resulting in memory loss.
Come to find out that your wife doesn’t know who you are, you try so hard to help her regain her memory. You divorce, she comes back but her memory never comes back from the accident.
In the husband’s defense she was never going to be the same version of herself that he fell in love with before the accident.
He should have never gotten back with her but he still wanted to try and sadly it wasn’t enough.
I don’t condone cheating and it’s not his wife’s fault it’s just a terrible situation all around. For both of them
What happened to the real couple actually?
@@mahwishchaudhry8185 I think I read somewhere the husband cheated but I’m not sure so don’t quote me. Either way they’re no longer together.
Rachel McAdams always loses her memory in these movies.
LOL
What else does she lose her memory in?
@@joshuaa1605 the notebook
@@Andy-rg7yi Rachel McAdams didn't lose her memory in the notebook.
Joshua A yes she did. The entire movie is Noah telling their romance story to Allie who suffers from dementia.
The mom made a choice but didn’t give her that same courtesy
Why should she bring up that drama again? Her mother forgave her father.
@@keitht24 the father also broke her trust, as a member of the family and because the affair involved her friend, and even so, she made a life for herself and chose someone to spend it with and they didn't hesitate to rip her away from it and even actively tried to destroy it, they took away her right to choose, they manipulated her and that is unforgivable.
@@ari_S.A It seems that the affair & her mother forgiving her father is what initially drove her to leave. Yes, what her father did was fucked up. But if he apologized, was truly remorseful & her mother choose to forgive. That's not something they should've brought up to stir up drama again.
@@keitht24 I get that but after the accident she was so confused of why she left, she was having it really rough, especially with Leo and she had the right of a proper explanation, she deserved all of the facts to try to understand her decisions, but instead they just made her feel like one day she lost it, threw her life away and abandoned all of them without a reason. And as much as it was her parents affair it actively involved her because again it was her friend and it breach her trust in her dad (which is a different relationship than the one her parents share) and besides, it affected her immensely, she deserved the truth of why she changed her whole life and if the mother understood that she had the right to choose to stay with her husband or not she should've been the first to understand that Paige also deserved the right to choose to forgive her father, instead they made the deception worse and all of them broke her trust at once.
@@ari_S.A Here's the thing, there's no good time to share that with her. In her current state of mind, there's no way to tell how she'd react with her amnesia. So if I was asked by the parents. I'd tell them to wait until she was fully adjusted to the situation. I know this movie is based on a real life event & the film makers took some liberties with the story. But she really wasn't in any position to be judgemental of her father. Given her behavior with her ex, despite the fact that she was married. She was living in a glass house with that one.
She chose to forgive the man who betrayed her love and trust and to lie to/betray her daughter
That's always great "parenting"...
Cheating always seems like such an easy thing to brush under the carpet...until your "carpet" catches fire...
People tend to forget that AIDS and stuff is still floating around out there...
You say you love your children and stay together for the children, but when one spouse puts another at risk for death ..how much do you really love your children or that person or even yourself?
When i found out the real couple who this movie was based on has split up this made the whole story entirely different now.
Are you sure? I heard they never did unlike the characters, it was about religion and vows I reckon
@@alekswiz yes because the husband was having an affair so the wife filed a divorce.
@@duedate2811 oh, shame
Real couple means the one where the women had an accident???? Or the one husband had an affair with?
@@mdrasedulhoque992 that's the same couple :) firstly they had an accident and about 25 years later he cheated. It happened after the movie was made
someone cheats on me once. everything he's done right is GONE. bye.
Bit hypocritical, she refused to leave her husband after her betrayal, but doesn't want her daughters husband to stay with her despite him keeping the secret? Values only matter when you want them too I guess.
These scene and the lines are so powerful and i watch these movie a year ago and still give me feel to believe in love.
Which part makes you believe in love, because it did the opposite for me? 😂
The husband cheated as usual and the wife didn’t have enough self respect to leave as per usual and then tries to sugarcoat it as some powerful romantic gesture when it’s just her weakness & lack of self worth. It’s such an old trope.
Well for me the part of the Mom chose to stay with his cheating husband even he did that to her.It's hard for her to stomach it. But she did it not just for hesrself but for her children.And also the part of Chaning Tatum character he knows the affair of his wife's friend and her dad! He did not use it for her wife choose to go with him back home.
@@jesteralfonso8409 You should never choose to stay for your kids, especially if they’re adults because they don’t stay in the house so at the end of the day, she’s stuck with her husband alone. Also Channing’s character was amazing in this movie, so selfless and he really loved her unconditionally.
Well unfortunately the real life couple (who Leo and Paige are based on) divorced several years ago because of his infidelity. So personally watching this film isn’t the same anymore. Maybe some things in the film are different than what happened in real life (like the film doesn’t use the couple’s real names etc) but the romantic element of the story is gone.
Yeah i heard and that so sad.
I like her, ever since the Note Book. I mean I don't go out of my way to follow her, but I like her work.
The Time Travelers Wife is a good one.
"I wanted your love.. Just not like that, wanted to earn it" Find a man who wants to earn your love 🥺😭😍
Forgiveness after being hurt is the hardest choice to make, without looking back at the mistake.
The way she says I was already to leave I was all alone in the house I could almost hear her voice break wow what an incredible actress so much emotion
That sweater though….fire wardrobe!
Idk if you're saying fire the stylist or that it's 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
@@sdeshmukh7838 I meant fire the stylist
@@BaldursPicketFence 🤣
Yessss I hate it so much. Like how do you make Channing Tatum look bad. Anyway, this is based on real people so I guess the guy had no fashion sense 😂
I thought his movie was going to be cheesy when I first watched it.. but it actually surprised me. It was not that bad.
The Vow is a very good movie. If you watch it, you'll see that everyone in her family and (old) friend group treats Leo like dirt under their shoes. Yet he never retaliates, except in one short, glorious instance, but you'll have to watch the whole thing to see it.
The mother was a liar, coward and selfish. Ok fine she forgave her husband but at least she should have tried to help reunite her daughter with Leo. She did not even show one ounce of care or respect for Leo. Thats her son in law.
Nor her husband. That was a shame on them. They did not love their duaghter, they wanted her to behave, as they imagined. That is not love. 😞
I hated this movie. Rachel McAdam turns her back on Channing Tatum’s character. Then she reappears in his life and gets automatically forgiven. His pain was ignored.
It’s bc it’s based on real life and real life people are flawed
I didn’t like it too but I was in my early teens and thought this was gonna be a sweet romance but I appreciate it now
@@yas4346 I appreciate your take. However, I left the theater disappointed. I like romantic movies but I wasn’t rooting for this couple in the end. She really hurt him, and I don’t feel she acknowledged that in the end. Rachel’s character came off as entitled and insensitive.
@@avalangrin4904 I agree. I get she's going through something awful. But dang, EVERYTHING had to be about her. She barely acknowledged her mom being really raw with her just now, it was all about how SHE felt about it.
I think that moment highlights how she is just like her mom. They both ignore the needs of the ones that truly care for them to repeat cycles of false happiness.
I’m not sure it’s fair to say she turned her back on him
Grace. The hardest thing to give when that person doesn’t deserve it. But also the most important.
My parents also stayed together despite all their issues and as an adult I became grateful for it. Because I became sick at one point and they were my rock. I have always disliked what others call romance because it is not realistic. The people I know that have stayed together did it because they have overcame not because they romanticized love. If you want a committed relationship and a family you give up parts of yourself but that’s ok because you don’t really lose that part of yourself it just goes to your family, your unit. I have that and my mom had it and people will never know that anymore. We make mistakes and we fail each other but the truth is there is nothing better out in there in the world. You can go and search and you’ll never find it. The world is a hard place so you need a real home to come back to. I think so many people are lost today because of this. We chase what will give us momentary happiness but those things will never give us fulfillment. I am glad that I have my family they are my greatest treasure and any person that wants to be with me will know that. That I have seen what it means to love and I will never settle for the glamour and the bs. Because that’s not real that’s a high you get from watching too much crap that it fries your brain.
This was timely. Thanks for articulating this so well. You are God sent
@@thandipropertyinsights Thanks for the sweet reply.
my grandparents stayed together and they constantly fight.there is no love.nobody can't stand them when they are together.constant arguing.my grandma wanted to leave but outlook to starting paying rent for her own living was definent no.lot of couples stay in toxic relationship because lack of living arrangments.my grandpa also cheated and granny was even more bitter about this
@@ansaksa it's a rigid rigged system that preys on young women. Then once you sign on in your 20's... you sometimes lose the best Years of your life. Divorce is over 50%
@@ansaksa I have observed this type of scenario as well, it’s sad to watch the severely abused partner. I also wish that some partners should find it in them to leave abusive relationships for the sake of their sanity. That takes a lot of strength.
But there are some scenarios where partners in relationships give up early. There are also scenarios where relationships though longterm, they are very unhappy due to wrong expectations.
The media is teaching us that if you don’t feel love or affection, you leave; if your partner cheats, you leave; if you are bored, you leave; if your ex comes back, it’s okay to reconnect with them and leave your current partner if he or she is not as exciting...etc.
‘Love’ is never just there in a relationship. After the initial phase of romantic love; (which most movies are based on) love is a day-to-day deliberate decision to forgive, forbear, endure, overlook, sacrifice one’s interests and rights for the sake of the wholesomeness of the whole family. Often, one of the partners will end up sacrificing more than the other. That’s what it takes; life is not fair.
I wish movies showing how long lasting marriages/relationships look like were as popular. Maybe such movies are there, but they are not interesting to watch; hence no demand for them because the process of building such marriages/ relationships is not pretty, its not fair, its sad and at times even abusive.
Rather than starting out a relationship with “boundaries which partners shouldn’t cross or else.. “ maybe it’s more realistic to expect that there is a 100 % chance that either partner will fail the other at some point due to life’s pressures and selfishness. Therefore, we ought to prepare to forgive because we too are not perfect, at some point we will need forgiveness. Maybe that would be a better approach. And that also takes a lot of strength.
I mean, forgiving him for cheating you is your business.
But for doing it with your daughter’s friend?? How can any parent forgive their partner after hurting their child like that??
I’m surprised no one’s pointing that out.
I mean “the one thing he did wrong” is such a huge way of underselling what an unbelievable piece of shit he was to both his wife and his daughter.
And the fact that she continued to stay with him even after it drove her daughter away is just the cherry on top.
I think her mother was strong for staying but she should not have lied to Paige. That wasn't fair for her whole family to lie to her.
Bullshit you will not be called strong for staying with a cheater. Please give this up I’m tired of hearing it
@@lifeofmarshae it's easy to leave but it takes a strong person to stay & fight.
@@moroccogirl9096 shut up no it don’t. THERE IS NOTHING STRONG ABOUT STAYING WITH A CHEATER
@@moroccogirl9096 Love doesn't keep your heart from hurting and it doesn't keep people around. Cheating on someone shows you always wanted more than what the person could give.
@@lifeofmarshae that's your opinion.
Forgiveness is forgiveness, it's not being "romanticized" or to put anyone on a pedestal. We all make mistakes, whether we admit it or not. Jessica Lange portrayed a scene of what it means to have unconditional love in this movie. If we can all give up on someone that we love so easily every time they mess up, then we're destined to spend our lives alone. It is NOT easy to forgive after we've been hurt, and find the strength to keep a marriage/relationship together. It doesn't make them a coward, by any means. I don't think it's fair for anyone to judge a person for choosing to stay afterwards... We don't always know the situations in every relationship. A person that cheats could have a deeper problem, something that's going on with them that they've never had help with. I'm not saying that someone shouldn't leave if it's bad enough... But it doesn't have to be the answer every time it happens.
Rly, I just have the understanding to know that some ppl will do whatever they have to do, whatever they feel is right when they truly love someone. And if it ends up being a mistake, then we have to find that out for ourselves. We can't live to make everyone else happy when we choose to let go of the hurt...If she found forgiveness for her husband, but her daughter can't, then that's not her fault. We find forgiveness in our own time when we are ready.
If we're going to be technical about the movie, she's being a hypocrite towards her mother, while she's having old feelings for her ex and kissing him while she's still married. But in the end, they found their way back to each other. When I look at the entire story, I sense a bigger message behind it than just what's found in one scene. But even this scene is pretty powerful. It's a tough topic... I completely get that. And I'm sorry that so many have felt that betrayal. People have their reasons to hate it, I have my reasons to sympathize with it. It can ve very emotional from either POV that it's looked at.
I lived this movie. The one quote the mother gives about forgiveness stayes in my mind forever
Leo did some dumb things in his desperate attempts to make her remember their love (most obvious being inviting their friends over when he first brought her back home) but it's still nothing compared to what the rest of her family did.
They manipulated her and used her head injury for their own selfish reasons. I am convinced she would have never found out the truth if she hadn't ran into Diane, her parents and sister wanted to pretend the whole didn't happen so they certainly weren't going to tell her and Leo didn't want to split the family apart again so he wasn't going to tell her either.
It’s all fine and everything for her to forgive her husband for cheating and move on from it if you’re able to really forgive someone who’s been unfaithful to you I say more power to you to be able to find forgiveness for something like that but the fact of the matter is they’ve all kept this from Paige when she had a right to kno especially since she genuinely couldn’t fathom why in the world she would leave her family in the first place. If they had been honest with her from the beginning and her mom told her all this before then mayb she could’ve been understanding in time but instead they all kept this horrible secret from her cuz they were only thinking about what was best for their pretentious family which was to lie so they could play happy family and have their preppy law school daughter back and that’s incredibly manipulative. Her entire family is so unbelievably selfish they saw her accident as a chance for them put things back the way they wanted it to be and that was more important to them than her being able to find out who she truly is. They had absolutely no regard for what was best for her they jus wanted her back in a way that suited them like she said it was only on their terms it was all about them and what they wanted.
so true
I LOVE how she chose to forgive him ! the way she said it was soooo strong in these days where 1 mistake ends everything.
I wouldn't. It's unrealistic, even if based on true events.
i often wonder had she had the financial means to go, if her answer would have been different. but it probably had more to do with not wanting to be alone. which is just sad...
I would love to see The Vow become a show since The Time travelers wife became a show on HBO Max
Alice in Wonderland before on Disney+
It would be pretty sad though. The real Kim cheated on Krickitt and they're not together anymore.
@@oliviarogers2808I thought it was the other way around
@@MyahUnleashed nope
There’s nothing strong about staying with a cheater. I don’t want to hear the stories of your parents or grandparents staying together after affairs is not a goal. That is pathetic.
Especially since anyone over 60 didn’t have much choice.
@@tracim3080 you always have a choice
@@lifeofmarshae not when legally they were not allowed to sign anything or get jobs to help support themselves and get a lawyer to leave.
That’s a nice saying for a meme but it’s not realistic for everyone.
@@tracim3080 Blah blah blah you always have a choice miss me with that bs
@@lifeofmarshae enjoy talking like a meme and staying out of the real world.
We aren’t actually that many decades past women being man’s property.
Anyone 60 and up grew up with the mentality that you can’t leave unless the man wants you to. Legally.
Jessica Lange is an amazing actress
Let’s just accept that cheating and forgiveness, are very personal things. For some people is tolerable and forgivable, and for other there is no such thing as forgiveness after cheating. Is such a complex topic, because is a very personal topic. ❤
One of the best romantic movie I've seen
0:36 strange talk in the broccoli aisle 🥦
No doubt hey 😅
I so love this movie and anything she is in she is a good actress
People are so quick to leave another person the 1st time that person messes up. We all mess up, have messed up or will mess up. We all have cheated, have been cheated on. I just wouldn't sleep with my kid's friend, that just feels wrong, like they were my own kid.
“I just want you to know your dad ended it when your mom confronted him about us”…… so if the mom never confronted him, her dad would have continued sleeping with his daughter’s bestie and the mom forgave him because it was “the one thing he did wrong”. I’m reality it wasn’t ONE thing. It destroyed his daughter, he continued to lie to his wife, and continuously broke his vows.
I can actually totally understand the mom. When I was younger, I was always very strongly on the "of course I'd totally break up with my boyfriend if he cheated on me!!"-side.
But the older I grow, and the longer I've been with my partner, the more my view changes. If my partner cheated on me now, as much of a shitty thing and break of trust that is, I'm pretty sure I'd forgive him if he put effort into being forgiven. He's been treating me more than well for years, can't just throw all that away. And we don't even have kids that need to be factored in.
While I try not to judge someone for whatever decisions they take in their relationships, don't you think that that is more of a pragmatic decision than a personal one? "I have spent so much time in this relationship, I cant just terminate it on one action, where would I go, who would take me"? Even if you don't believe in the sanctity of trust in a relationship that is gone once broken, all evidence points to that if a cheater is forgiven they are incentivized to just do it again and again.
Loser attitude...
@@adityaakaulactually, evidence points towards most infidelities being a one- or two-time incident. So if someone is discovered and wants to reconcile, it could very likely be the only occurrence. It’s really an individual decision that must be made by the two people in a marriage, not by anyone else.
Best romance movie ever. At least in my opinion
That’s what TRUE LOVE does !!!
It’s sad how the husband and the wife are no longer together! Anymore in real life t
That's how real life is, anything else is just fairytale.
I thought they got back together and remarried and had kids
@@tanyaboyle825 yeah but they are separated now after 25 years.
Jessica Lange is such a outstanding marvelous actress.
I wonder if it was the other way round, would the mother have been forgive if she cheated. It’s easier to expect others to forgive, but what if your the one who’s been hurt.
Don't like playing games, if you love me just be with me. I'm not going to chase, I love you but I hate games.
EXACTLY. If you want to be with me lets tough it out...if you want to play games with me for a chase iam good...too old for that.
Hear hear!
Bro... We gotta learn from Jesus. You pick love >>> over a bunch trashy times with betrayers.
#JAKE
I love how in movies everybody understands the subtlety But in real life no one does
Love is a powerful thing nothing can take it away love stays with u forever ❤ and the person who loves u and ur love will grow stronger
Movies are such a blessing ❤
Love Channing in this
ngl these 2 played the craziest characters in hollywood. i literally cant take them seriously😂😂
This movie is so beautiful.
People think it’s weak to stay when your partner breaks your trust. But honestly, there’s profound strength in either choice as long as you’re the one making it for yourself and sticking by it. Either you leave and commit to being on your own or you stay and commit to pulling through and working toward healing together. Either choice takes a lot.
Mum replied: "I was going to leave...I was....I was ready to leave and one afternoon. I was all alone in that house and I started looking all the photographs of you and your sister and the house seems full of us. We were a family..Paige..(crying) and I realised in that moment that, that was the most important thing in the world for me and I couldn't...I could not go...I chose to stay with him for all the things he had done right and not to leave him for the one thing he had done wrong. I chose to forgive him". These are powerful words.
Real love, life, care and support unconditionally.
You can't choose to forgive. Wouldn't it make things so much simpler. Forgiveness is a gift.
This is a really powerful thing you’ve said. Really got me.
It's Doctor strange that's destroying her mind 😂
That's Southpaw, somewhat ruined her sports disgraceful
I think I have watched this movie more than 10 times, it is my ultimate favourite
I will judge the mother for rewriting her daughter's past but I will not judge her for choosing her family and forgiveness over divorce
I love The Vow
tbh i never though rachel mcadams looked pretty in mean girls but here she's stunning ❤
Channing and Jonah have a better chemistry than anyone else in this entire movie 😂
What did they say ? I couldn’t here. So is this why they give golden statues to “sound engineers ?”
This is bs in the fact that the family lied to her about all of it. As for the mother, if she wants to stay with her cheating husband who slept with her daughter’s best friend is whatever. To me it is far beyond messed up. For me personally, I could never stay with someone who cheated on me. I would forgive him however taking him back would never happen. I am a loyal person and nearly came close to cheating one time but I stopped it before it ever became anything because I saw how much it hurt my mother when my father cheated on my mother so many times. I didn’t want to be like that and I never will. The fact that a woman or a man remains loyal no matter how bad things get and yet your husband or wife or partner cheats on you, breaks your heart, trust and creates a mental wall around you. If that trust is to ever be shattered to me directly, I would forgive them and wish the best. But never would I ever stay with the person that cheated on me.
Weak woman who chose to not be lonely and keep her nice life . Isn't of being strong and setting a good example for her children
Its definitely hard to walk away but I think it would be just as hard if not more to stay and try again, despite the betrayal. Most of us just don't have the emotional energy to take the risk because we don't want to be fooled again. I don't think I would stay but I admire those couples that work on their issues and manage to heal.
Nope...she was strong to stay. Just as those who leave are strong to leave.
She measured the pros and cons of leaving in a really mature way. There's no right or wrong decision there. And you're being an @ss about it.
She expressed that she was lonely, yes. But through that loneliness she realized the value of her daughters and her history with her husband.
If she stayed because she was /just lonely/, she wouldn’t be able to make the choice to forgive her husband at all. She is strong because she stayed, not for the superficial “nice life”, but the life she created genuinely with her family.
We miss it cause it’s a movie, but I’m sure that forgiveness didn’t come easy. For couples who try to get through a mistake like that, the husband probably needed to do a lot more. We were simply given the skinny version of what transpired after the truth came out.
Cheaters don't deserve forgiveness
Infidelity is the death of a marriage. Any woman who stays doesn’t respect herself and is operating from fear instead of doing the right thing and leaving the perpetrator.
That’s not necessarily true. Every situation is different.
He knew he didn’t tell her but he stood by her so she wasn’t driven away from her family. He wanted to earn her love
This shows character qualities of her parents and har husband.
We are a broken race and I wanted to be with someone that makes me happy
"The one thing that he had done wrong" seems like a REALLY big thing
She sounds like rapunzel when she yell at her mom
Honestly if one of my parents cheated I wouldn't stop talking to the whole family haha
I chose to stay with him for all things that he had done right, and not to leave him for the one thing that he had done wrong. I chose to forgive him. Only a handful of people would have the courage to forgive something like that.
This was such a great movie 🍿 🎥 👏🏽
Great movie
Such an amazing person❤❤
The real-life couple is actually divorced because of his cheating.
So, there are people who can forgive their partner for cheating, because he made that one mistake…!! Because maybe their partner is really capable of change…!! Maybe some people are capable of forgiving..good for them..!!
For some others cheating in a relationship marks the end of that relationship. And that’s a fair decision too..!! Human beings can perceive relationships differently…it’s not the end of the world..!
She will get over it and be just fine I promise
Now i know there is a irl story too, i can't tell if you're talking about the movie or not
Jessica Lange is the goat. I don’t speak to my family, if I had a traumatic brain injury and people just lied to me to keep me from knowing why I had cut my family off thus enabling them to be near me, I would feel so betrayed and gaslit
The father cheated on the mother with the daughter's friend, that speaks volumes.
Channing Tatum is such a good romcom lead.
At least her friend had the gutts to come forward with the truth and take responsibility like a (wo)man.