I recently caught my wife of almost 7 years having an affair. She somehow turned it around on me by gas lighting me and telling me “if you put more effort in we can really work this out” her complaint was that I don’t do anything or give her attention which is why she fell for a married co-worker who gave her attention and validation. Except these were excuses. I was with her everyday, constantly praised her. The month before I caught her I sent flowers for Valentine’s Day and then again 2 weeks later for March 8th International Womens day, the latter I sent to her work. She was probably already beginning the cheating during this time and still posted my flowers to her story and said how great of a husband I’m and how all women are the office were jealous. Whenever she wanted to go somewhere I always went no matter what I was dealing with in life or how I felt that day or if I even cared about going there. Always went. One of her other excuses was “you never to the grocery store with me on weekends” lmao most husbands don’t do that either. Anyways the point I’m trying to make is that part about “can they take criticism” was my biggest red flag. But I just slowly communicated with her and she got better at it but still even 6 years in even she would get butthurt at any criticism. When I caught her having an affair she of course couldn’t take the criticism and the fact that my parents who financially supported her immediately dropped her out of their life. She had the audacity to say “I can’t believe your parents just forget about me. I can’t believe you didn’t fight for me” like completely delusional. Imagine cheating on someone but then expecting that person to fight for you and expecting that persons parents to reach out to you and care about your feelings. Extreme narcissism. Anyways pay attention to the red flags boys. Today I can’t even get her to start the divorce proceedings. She hasn’t sent any of my stuff or even answered my inquiries about divorce and my belongings. I think she’s regretting it and doesn’t want me to divorce her because it turns out her affair partner is a SJW weak man who is always crying about his life, always talking about his mental health struggles, and wasn’t even better looking than me. I wish I could say it was the sex but I’m fortunately very blessed in the “size” area so it wasn’t that. And the icing on the cake is the guy has been unemployed for months now. So how did I marry someone who threw away almost 7 years of marriage for a weak man with mental issues who isn’t even sought after by other women? By not paying attention to the red flags. In the moment I knew the red flags but I ignored them because I thought “I can be the one who changes her. Inside of her is a decent person” and sure enough many times that decent person came out during the relationship. But in the end you can never change somebody so learn from me and don’t be a hero, a dysfunctional person with moral flaws will almost always remain that way no matter how much you try to change them into a better person.
Here's another thing to look for.... someone you can sit there for two hours with and never need say a word, peace, calm, and awakened. Just sharing the existence of life together.
There can be that, or their can be a deep conversation about something you connect or bond over for hours. Both are valid, there’s plenty more examples akin to these as well.
To know someone: - get really drunk with them - see them under stress - see them with kids and animals - look at their closest friends This will give you quite a deep insight into them
That's true about the stress, my mum under stress is always shouting, she's really bad with stress. I would want a partner that could handle stress better because someone who shouts and feels super angry or frustrated is not the most fun to be with. Also nice to find someone who is forgiving. Seeing the person around other people is also a good one because sometimes people can treat people like wait staff really badly or they are nice outside but behind closed doors they are not very nice to like their ex's, or family.
I don't think the romantic type of love is special, and I think that the romantic type of love isn't real. More than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other. I think humans should just ditch concepts like dating, marriage, and pair bonding. I feel like this world would be a much better place without romance than it is with it. In my opinion, romantic love should not be on the highest pedestal. In my opinion, parents and siblings' family love is the strongest. Family knows who you are. Romance is fake for lots of people, put on a false persona and romance on most parts gets ugly real fast. For the reality of romance is no Disney love story. Parents and siblings' family love is one of the strongest types of love there is. If romantic love is actually real, it would be one of the weakest types of love there is. Romantic relationships are overrated and are just a waste of time. People should avoid being a romantic relationship.
Above physical attraction... 1. Character-strong 2. Common values 3. Critism acceptance 4. Their underline qualities: offense easily, insecurities 5. Conversation holding 6. Interesting 7. Sharing same sense of humor 8. Element of mystery
One more thing. Are they a saver or a spender? If you are a saver and they are a spender it might not work that well. If you are both savers or both spenders, you will have the same outlook on finances.
Dear Robert, you bring light of wisdom to this dark world surrounded by ignorance. We need more videos from you talking about these kinda topics... You are the one who is not a BS Guru!
True, but you need to be aware of such a statement. Even though I respect Robert, admire him and have all his books, I don’t give him my mind ! I think and challenge his ideas.
Yes ive done this mistake too. But also dont devalue attraction too much. Because i knew a guy with which i had very similar interests but i didnt feel a thing for him physically. The fact that he didnt look good at all to me made me sad and bit angry to be honest. Couldnt my mind twin come in a better package 😂. Im not very pretty myself but poor guy...damn. i wish his face would reflect his great qualities. He for sure will find a good woman. Me with my special character on the other hand, im a total lone wolf. I dont care anyone 😂
I left a previous girl because she was hyper sensitive and got offended by almost everything. Eventually, I got fed up and exhausted by it. It was unfortunate, because we were strongly compatible as far as shared values and interests. Oh well, it was best for me to move on.
I'm 32, in a long term relationship of 3 years. Fell in love with her mask, in the beginning she was supporting of my hobbies (not destructive hobbies, i workout, i code, i edit videos, youtube etc). I have a nice job, we do stuff together, we go out, travel. Now whenever I want to work on my dream and passions, not only doesn't support me, she fights with me why am I doing this, she comes in and stares at my work for a few seconds then acts like I'm wasting my time. When she works extra hours at home, I cook for her, bring her drinks, support her. Now I just need the power to get out of this, because I don't know if it can be fixed
I’m so sorry you’re going through this and we all know it’s going to get worse before it gets better. Keep reminding yourself everything in life is temporary and life will be so much better soon. Take care of yourself… and I really mean that.
Doing the work within yourself should be the first step before requiring anything from anyone. Alot of our wants and "needs" have been distorted because of how we was raised, who raised us,our own exspectations, the world and their abuse of who you should and shouldnt be, struggling to find yourself and who you really are without outside interference. Its really hard,its a war. So therapy really helps to vent through it ALL so you can see you and the world in a healthy way and be confident in that because the world will challenge you. Then and only you can make your request of what you want and dont want, because it will come from still and sound place, without ego and fear.
Speaking the same love language is ESSENTIAL, be it love for animals, for family life, for literature, for building, for nature, for whatever. And if the other person doesn’t love what you love, then at the very least they shouldn’t get in the way of the things you love. They need to step aside so you can still do the things you enjoy doing. Fulfillment of your individuality should be the biggest treasure that every human being should have the right to enjoy, no matter how deep a relationship may be.
In regards to being able to take criticism, there’s always elements to being able to DELIVER criticism as well. In a healthy, loving and kind relationship criticism is delivered also kindly and mindful of the other person’s feelings. Don’t fall for the trap of being hurtful because you are getting things off your chest. And if no matter how you do it confrontation still occurs, then it’s time to decide if you need to quit the relationship or if it’s worth seeing a therapist that teaches you how to DELIVER criticism.
I see someone Sensitive here or maybe someone who felt with someone who has low empathy levels? Idk, but if there is somethin about me to improve I’d love to hear it and change cuz most likely I wasn’t aware of it And same thing for the counter party if I see something wrong/needs improving etc I’ll pout it out without hesitating that’s how I want it to be. If they can’t take my criticism I’m out, I’m not gonna silence myself and my truth and be fake just to not hurt so one’s fragile ego If I got an opinion about a certain matter I need to feel safe to be able to share it if I can’t share it and be myself what’s there? A living hell a cage
No lie detected! This is everything IMO! Never what but how it’s said! It’s nice to be nice, especially guys. Our egos can’t handle when you’re supposed to be partner talks to you worse than the kids. I’m out before I catch a case! 😂
@@unknownoblivion2417 There's a difference between delivering criticism well and delivering criticism poorly. Ex. "You piece of shit, you never do the fucking dishes, just fucking do them once in a while, I'm so tired of this shit" and "Hey, can we talk about the dishes? I feel like I have to remind you to help out with them, can we come to some sort of an agreement on sharing the work?" Those are two different ways of delivering the criticism of "I don't feel like you help with the dishes enough", one belligerent and one kind. Which one do you expect to have the best chance of creating an actual change?
It's very true about animals. I broke it off with someone after a month who first lied to me they love animals, obviously to please me. But after a while they admitted they like animals to be at a safe distance from them. And that broke my heart being someone who adores animals. I just cannot imagine my life without animals.
He has a lot of good advice. Do your minds work the same way? Do you laugh at the same things? Do you have the same values? Are they mature? Can they handle money well? Are they affectionate? Are they easily offended? Can they take criticism? Are they controlling? Are they secretive? Does what they say line up with what their family members say? Are they conscientious? Are they compassionate? Are they generous with time and money?
Robert undervalues the importance of physical attraction. Without it, and that is the main problem for older people who want to find a partner, there is no relationship even if both people have perfectly matched characters. What is left is : Friendship. Not bad, but not good enough for a partnership.
And vice versa. If you put too much value on physical attraction, you will not have a good relationship that is lasting. Most relationships nowadays are based on strong physical attraction. Good sex is not conducive to a lasting relationship and does not keep anyone together. Many people who are crazy about each other and have wild sex in the begining end up in bitter divorces. But friendship lasts, liking the person for who they are works. Not to say you should not value physical attraction and enjoy godd sex, but there has to be a proper balance. Inevitably, physical chemistry wears off, and then, what have you got left? Physical chemistry always wears off to a lesser degree, because a constant state of arousal is not humanly sustainable. I have options in dating, but I will not date anyone for their looks alone. It really does not impress me. And If they have bad character, I can't care at all about their 6 pack , how many hours they are at the gym, or what sexy tricks they know in bed, or how much money is in their account. I need to respect and admire a person and value them for who they are in order to even be attracted to them.
Hmm, my logic is looks and values for me personally is equal. There can be a woman who likes anime, and likes reading but if I dont find her sexually attractive, I can't select her as my partner. For me looks and values are equal and you need to find a partner that balances that. I like woman who are fit, feminine, gym-going, and has a nice butt and shape, and an attractive face, I select the delicious fruit of the garden.
@@joanofarcxxi All very true. Unfortunately, it is difficult to find such a person. My experience as a man is that whenever a woman has a great character and she is reasonably attractive, she is married. I traveled the world to find a woman who is single and overall attractive, but never met even one, not even the exception to the rule. That's why I live in the weird situation that I never got rejected by a woman, and yet I am always single. It's easy on the dating market to find pretty women or women with awesome character, but not the combination of both. Of course, such men are also rare.
Side note: While it's probably good that there is some mystery, don't let it be too big since it can open door for cheating, double life or maybe personal money problems that affect you too (gambling etc).
Correct. When he said mystery it made me think of intellectual mystery. Any person of true depth has an aura of mystery to them, because their intellect spans far and wide enough to make you think "I wonder what could possibly be going on in their head" because you are interested in them. You should feel interested not because they are not sharing enough, but because you feel as though they could never share enough - like they are an endless spring
This is such amazing advice, Robert. I have been single for a while as my husband passed away, I date but if there is little in common, I stop. My friends say I am picky but I would rather be alone than be bored with someone who does not share the similar interests and values. I love your books and everything your share with us!❤
Lol I'm picky too but there's 0.7% chance I will get my _upto the perfect_ partner considering my demographic region _Also I judge on Music tastes , Thinking process....and Cats_
@@lavatr8322what music taste do you avoid? I’m starting to think it’s smart to judge in my case a woman by her music taste. Tells you a lot about that person.
If you think that you know all there is about your partner (which will most likely happen sooner or later!) then that means that you are both stuck in a rut so it’s time to get out of your routine and find new layers about the other person AND yourself as well. Finding new interesting things to do together is key for a long lasting relationship.
I love your books, you've changed my life. I'm Brazilian and I'm learning English to watch your videos. If possible, please add more subtitles to your videos to help foreigners follow your content. Thank you for everything, Robert Greene.
Não se preocupa, cara. A medida que você vai acostumando seu ouvido ao inglês e vai "incorporando" vocabulário suficiente pra entender a maioria das frases em inglês, vc não precisa mais de legendas se o áudio do vídeo for razoavelmente bom. Pode demorar um pouquinho, mas é surpreendente, quando você menos se dá conta vc não precisa mais de nada pra entender a língua.
@@Danisa001 they are saying to add more languages to the subtitles ... the subtitles here are only in English .. Also some Channels have videos translated in other languages
Dear Robert, I'm so happy I came across this video of yours - I've been searching life partner according all the features you have mentioned - conversation, mystery, sense of humour, love for animals (and plants in my case) and I was called superficial by people in my surroundings. It doesn't bother me, they are just not capable to understand how important these things are, and how much they can tell you about your future with certain person. Thank you so much, love from SE Europe 💕💕💕
That character vs personality thing is such a deep insight. Many a time in life I would meet someone or have someone as a friend and be deeply charmed by their personality. But every time I would interact with them I would feel something was deeply off with their character. They're not someone I should trust. I should distance myself from them. They're going to hurt me at some point. Every time I had these feelings, the relationship with such a person would not end well - and it would have served me well to stop and think very very deeply about this person until I got a clear view and insight on their true character. Problem is, our lives are so busy that we do not have that time and energy to stop and do this analysis - but I hope I will be able to do such analysis in future. To talk even deeper about this subject. It is usually not necessary to do any analysis. You should just listen to your heart and follow it. If you have an ominous feeling about someone, you should trust your feelings and distance yourself from them. Let them prove themselves to you to be trustworthy before you trust them. And test them regularly.
Mystery is definitely important to me because i get bored easily. Any quality that makes me think about you when youre not there really grabs my attention and keeps it for some reason. I really dont want to know all about you from the get go but i love learning new little things slowly.
love your books man, I'm 18 and i have read all of your books . They were so so awakening for me. this THANK YOU can never be enough but thats currently all I can do for you.
1. can take criticism ( i can tell what i do not like about you, is the person get offended ) 2. insecurity that a person have ( dark side of a person, can know it by talking about childhood ) 3. interesting conversation ( articulate thoughts , multi tone) 4. similar sense of humour, similar taste in animal
When you first meet someone they don’t put all their cards on the table, if you are looking for a long lasting relationship don’t look at their personality blc most pipo wear masks look at their character closely,can they take criticisms,can you two converse, communicate ? Look for someone with depth, someone with similar sense of humor, look for someone with a little element of mystery, they physical looks fade away but you need someone who matches your energy.
Thank you Robert. I’m blessed to have someone who has a good character, honest, loyal, loving, intelligent, someone who I can rely on through thick and thin. To have fun and play with our cats, laugh on silly things, food, and movies. It’s a blessing. And that starts with knowing yourself, first, loving yourself, growing and evolving. Inside out.
As with so many things in my life i feel late to the party. So glad to discover this man's work. Some of the things he says actually hit so true i feel sad. These are lessons learnt hard sometimes. Wishing you well Robert.
I truly agree with your advice. The character is so important. Some men compliment my appearance. I'm glad about that of course. But at the same time, I'm not so happy because my appearance will change as I get aged. I'll think I will be happy with this guy every morning ever after.
Another key mistake that most people do in the beginning of relationships or dates is revealing too much about themselves. Everytime a man reveals a part of himself or makes himself familiar to the other person too early on, he becomes less attractive and losses that mysterious aura that initially attracted a girl to them, instead learn how to sparingly reveal parts of yourself, talk less about yourself, and more about the other person.
In regards to sharing a similar sense of humor, he’s right. My husband and I still find ways to laugh together, but we hardly ever laugh at each other. That is something that we take as a boundary that reinforces mutual respect. Otherwise, there’s plenty of silliness to laugh about.
3:23 “so you want to look under the hood” So true! Charm & beauty can transform quickly when it’s bathed in defensiveness and bitterness. Great presentation. 💪👍😃
you nailed it, Robert. this is great advice also for a parent to give to their kids. i wish i could have heard this talk from my mother when i was a teen.
240 Yes good point some people can't take any criticism and they can be hyper sensitive towards anything and bursting with insecurities Character is important like them being strong intelligent and have a conversation. Similar sense of humor is important... 1 year no surprises so they could become uninteresting
Personality is superficial. When you look at the real character of the person, you get to know their real self. Great video Robert, this is useful not only to find your long-life partner, but to find friends & people you can work with.
I am so excited to have discovered you on this platform. I read your books way back in my twenties. You have added so much value to the things I know . I will continue to tap in to the knowledge you put out . Thank you so much ! Amaka from Lagos , Nigeria.
Always great advice... But... I'd like to know just one man who is interested in "character" in the beginning of a relationship!! I've never met one before!
Thank you so much for those advices! I love that you mentioned mindset about animals as an important factor in a long term relationship. For me someone who doesn’t LOVE animals (not just tolerate them) cannot be consider as a potential partner. Have a lovely day!
Your wisdom is good and shall light the way for me for as long as I can remember or commit it to my memory. I am very pleased by the form of your videos, Robert. No long intos/outros, everybody has read the title and knows what they clicked on. You get straight in to discussion and don't fuss around.
Engage with Character rather than Personality. Character is the backbone of who they are not the mask they put on. Some overall signs to look for: 1. How Strong they are 2. Sharing basic values with them 3. Can they take criticism? 4. Are they hipersensitive and easily get offended? 5. Having conversation with them 10 years later and not being bored 6. Being Intelligent 7. Can they surprise me talking with them? 8. Having similar sense of humor 9. Having an element of Mystery to them 10. If you have a value that is so important to you then they should have it too. For example if love animals they probably should like them too
My perfect partner is someone who doesn’t steal from me, cheat, lie. We can talk about anything, their deepest desires, even disagreements, and trust each other to stay together.
I've had many people judge me from the outside for superficial things. On the inside, I am mentally strong, intelligent, kind, creative and independent. They never get to that point of getting to know me for who I am in person. Those are people I don't want to be with, those that aren't willing to take steps to build, take a chance and accept me for who I am, we all have flaws, and I feel some people are more entitled to criticise others for minor things.
Great video, but let me point out that as an older man of 67, I also enjoy the fact that my wife has no interest in my fishing adventures and trips. I can go to Alaska or Key West and fish with my cousin and not have to involve her. I don't think it's necessary to have all dots connected.
This person described is my best friend in the world. We can’t be partners. I’m grateful to have him in my daily life and can’t imagine him not being somewhere in my life forever. Finding someone exactly like him is a battle. I don’t want to…😢
Character vs personality was a fascinating point… put words where I was struggling when trying to make sense of conflicting feelings with someone in my life
Seeing how they handle stress and empathy towards others. How they handle disagreements is a big one too. Passive aggressive people make lousy partners.
Thank you fo straightening that out for me, I realize now that I married my wife of 44 years because of her character not her personality, I now see the difference.
I agree with what Robert is saying. You have to have common ground, whether its with animals or anything else. I was with someone for many years and we had nothing in common. Her eyes were totally vacant like she did three minutes in the electric chair but lived. I remember the day I was in pieces in the bath tub crying, with my duck and everything. She was so stupid! I just wanted someone to talk to me! She thought Algebra was an area of northern Africa. She was taking about Algeria. And she couldn't take criticism. She used to yell "What are you incinerating?!!" She meant insinuating. Suffice it to say I needed treatment for PTSD.
Hmmm good advise.A good heart,empathy,willingness to work together and a person that can talk about anything/everything.That' all.All the others traits can be practised
Man you nailed it on the insecurities. My ex GF was so easily offended. Always tip toeing around someone is exhausting. So much so I just stopped communicating.
I’m 52 and I’ve never been able to meet a man that can meet me on my level.. I’d rather be single than with someone who bores me or makes me feel lonely
Yes, sharing a love of animals is critical. I am on the other side of this. I moved in with a man who had three dogs and a cat. This taught me that I cannot live with dogs. And I prefer not to live with cats. I like cats, but I don't want their hair everywhere in my house and on my clothes. The tension in our relationship over the pets became increasingly intolerable over time. I have learned that in future relationships, dogs are a deal-breaker for sure, and having a cat is not preferred. Very important.
My narc is very mysterious. I kept wanting to know why what is the mystery? Before I married him I remember thinking and imagining him sitting quietly in his house with his kids around him and spouse somewhere in the background . I decided let Me take him. (But now that I'm wise I realize that there's no mystery to him, "There's nobody there", as one Professor describes them.) So now I'm afraid of that mystery. But then again I've gained wisdom. Anyway Robert you expand more, talking about pets etc. Thnx for the advice and insight. *Character *, not personality. Also of course there's no conversation, but it's a lonely world.
You are now also my emotional/relationship Teacher. Thanks for such an amazing and original point about relationships. A lot to unpack there and have so many questions now. Thanks again. I’m happy to have learned you live in my neighborhood in Los Angeles. My dream is to run into you some day and tell you how much I admire you. 🙏🏼
Finding a partner is like buying a house. Often very limited supply and you have to chose something in a scarce environment. The one you want may be not available at all or not available to you. Many people do not even chose their partner, it's just something that happens. People come together by accident and eventually the woman gets pregnant. Unfortunately, but that is life.
Amazing that he brings up the sharing of love of animals! I think that's such an overlooked and important point. Because if you love animals it shows you have a deep empathy that goes beyond just your for your species. I love Robert Greene he's fantastic!
Yes, being able to communicate with this pwrson about different topics, about your favorite topics is certainly #1 feature that we need to be looking for!!!
Yes, it wasn't even a year before the guy I dated got angry and became horribly physically abusive! No one around him would have known that this was his behavior behind closed doors!! Sicko.
How i assess it. You have chemistry. Tick. You have compatibility. Tick. You have seen each other's darksides and though you fight you address the issues. You been there for each other when shit got bad and didn't abandon each other when it got hard. Tick. You both share similar values and morals. Tick. Hello soul mate. ❤❤❤ and you laugh together. Big one for me. And always trust your intuition and gut about the person. For me this has worked. 😊😊 love couples with dynamics and grow together as people ❤❤❤ very fortunate in that sense and very grateful. 😊
Sometimes people change down the track as well and you find yourself with a very different version of what you thought you had. But all great advice "look under the hood" - takes a lifetime of experience to learn this! Oh well, I guess it's never too late to find that special someone.
My personality is shit but my character is gold. I'm socially awkward, a poor communicator, isolated, weird, and physically weak and ugly. But I do my best every day to be kind, caring, authentic and brave, and not a quarter hour goes by without that on my mind. I still don't know which side will win. I guess my life is a heroic tragedy.
Yeah you can improve on those "weaknesses" if you definitely work at it. We're social creatures and its really a pleasure when you can affect others in your life. One of the greatest pleasures imo
How wonderful that you can recognize areas of weakness. If you are open to suggestions- join something like Toastmasters that will challenge you to communicate well. It will push your comfort but likely give you great reward if you put in the work. Also, focus on fitness. These things will improve your confidence which will make you more attractive to others, and make YOU happier
-Look at their character, not their personality.
-Can they take criticism?
-Can we converse and communicate?
-Are they a person of depth?
That criticism stuff can sometimes definitely become toxic.
@@deathstarwontsaveyou9892 can relate
I recently caught my wife of almost 7 years having an affair. She somehow turned it around on me by gas lighting me and telling me “if you put more effort in we can really work this out” her complaint was that I don’t do anything or give her attention which is why she fell for a married co-worker who gave her attention and validation.
Except these were excuses. I was with her everyday, constantly praised her. The month before I caught her I sent flowers for Valentine’s Day and then again 2 weeks later for March 8th International Womens day, the latter I sent to her work. She was probably already beginning the cheating during this time and still posted my flowers to her story and said how great of a husband I’m and how all women are the office were jealous. Whenever she wanted to go somewhere I always went no matter what I was dealing with in life or how I felt that day or if I even cared about going there. Always went. One of her other excuses was “you never to the grocery store with me on weekends” lmao most husbands don’t do that either.
Anyways the point I’m trying to make is that part about “can they take criticism” was my biggest red flag. But I just slowly communicated with her and she got better at it but still even 6 years in even she would get butthurt at any criticism. When I caught her having an affair she of course couldn’t take the criticism and the fact that my parents who financially supported her immediately dropped her out of their life. She had the audacity to say “I can’t believe your parents just forget about me. I can’t believe you didn’t fight for me” like completely delusional. Imagine cheating on someone but then expecting that person to fight for you and expecting that persons parents to reach out to you and care about your feelings. Extreme narcissism.
Anyways pay attention to the red flags boys. Today I can’t even get her to start the divorce proceedings. She hasn’t sent any of my stuff or even answered my inquiries about divorce and my belongings. I think she’s regretting it and doesn’t want me to divorce her because it turns out her affair partner is a SJW weak man who is always crying about his life, always talking about his mental health struggles, and wasn’t even better looking than me. I wish I could say it was the sex but I’m fortunately very blessed in the “size” area so it wasn’t that. And the icing on the cake is the guy has been unemployed for months now.
So how did I marry someone who threw away almost 7 years of marriage for a weak man with mental issues who isn’t even sought after by other women? By not paying attention to the red flags. In the moment I knew the red flags but I ignored them because I thought “I can be the one who changes her. Inside of her is a decent person” and sure enough many times that decent person came out during the relationship. But in the end you can never change somebody so learn from me and don’t be a hero, a dysfunctional person with moral flaws will almost always remain that way no matter how much you try to change them into a better person.
People don't change most of the times
I find most don’t have depth. I would think people older than 60 have evolved with more depth, finding it isn’t true, truly disappointing.
Here's another thing to look for.... someone you can sit there for two hours with and never need say a word, peace, calm, and awakened. Just sharing the existence of life together.
That happened when my ex had laryngitis.
There can be that, or their can be a deep conversation about something you connect or bond over for hours. Both are valid, there’s plenty more examples akin to these as well.
Meh
Exactly. The less awkard the silence the more you are compatible
WOW ❤ I LOVE THAT
To know someone:
- get really drunk with them
- see them under stress
- see them with kids and animals
- look at their closest friends
This will give you quite a deep insight into them
Stimulants like 4mmc will work better than alcochol for this
Also if possible, look at how they treat their parents.
@@Eclipse-vr3jb I was going to say that, and that meeting someone through your family and friends, someone they know and like is also a bonus.
That's true about the stress, my mum under stress is always shouting, she's really bad with stress. I would want a partner that could handle stress better because someone who shouts and feels super angry or frustrated is not the most fun to be with. Also nice to find someone who is forgiving. Seeing the person around other people is also a good one because sometimes people can treat people like wait staff really badly or they are nice outside but behind closed doors they are not very nice to like their ex's, or family.
@@Eclipse-vr3jb Well, depends on the parents. Not everybody is lucky.
Loving someone isn’t finding the perfect person
but seeing an imperfect person perfectly
❤
❤
Underrated comment
Wow, this just opened and changed my perspective. Thank you so much.
I don't think the romantic type of love is special, and I think that the romantic type of love isn't real. More than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other. I think humans should just ditch concepts like dating, marriage, and pair bonding. I feel like this world would be a much better place without romance than it is with it.
In my opinion, romantic love should not be on the highest pedestal. In my opinion, parents and siblings' family love is the strongest. Family knows who you are. Romance is fake for lots of people, put on a false persona and romance on most parts gets ugly real fast. For the reality of romance is no Disney love story.
Parents and siblings' family love is one of the strongest types of love there is. If romantic love is actually real, it would be one of the weakest types of love there is. Romantic relationships are overrated and are just a waste of time. People should avoid being a romantic relationship.
Above physical attraction...
1. Character-strong
2. Common values
3. Critism acceptance
4. Their underline qualities: offense easily, insecurities
5. Conversation holding
6. Interesting
7. Sharing same sense of humor
8. Element of mystery
Thank you!!!
One more thing. Are they a saver or a spender? If you are a saver and they are a spender it might not work that well. If you are both savers or both spenders, you will have the same outlook on finances.
Nothing in the universe is more enjoyable than having someone who you willingly share your moments with
Honestly
Well I would like to know more about you if you don't mind
Don’t rub it in
@@meteor901 let him rub it in
@@meteor901 wait so that means I just found a spiritually awaken hot chick
Character is everything!!!! Takes time and don’t sleep with people until you know them!
Dear Robert, you bring light of wisdom to this dark world surrounded by ignorance. We need more videos from you talking about these kinda topics... You are the one who is not a BS Guru!
Loved this comment
Entirely true. The word guru is used flippantly all the time by western people, but this man is a guru in the real sense of the word.
True, but you need to be aware of such a statement. Even though I respect Robert, admire him and have all his books, I don’t give him my mind ! I think and challenge his ideas.
I don’t share the same perspective on the world, but I do think his advice helps!
Sounds very nice and meaningful. listen to it over and over again
Wow this video made me feel better about me being broken up with my ex.
We never shared any common interests. We never had deep talks.
She wanted to follow the new D she was getting
Yes ive done this mistake too. But also dont devalue attraction too much. Because i knew a guy with which i had very similar interests but i didnt feel a thing for him physically. The fact that he didnt look good at all to me made me sad and bit angry to be honest. Couldnt my mind twin come in a better package 😂. Im not very pretty myself but poor guy...damn. i wish his face would reflect his great qualities. He for sure will find a good woman. Me with my special character on the other hand, im a total lone wolf. I dont care anyone 😂
@@etcwhatever I've heard that if you can picture yourself having sex with somebody then they are attractive
Same here! Cheers for a greater future
I left a previous girl because she was hyper sensitive and got offended by almost everything. Eventually, I got fed up and exhausted by it. It was unfortunate, because we were strongly compatible as far as shared values and interests. Oh well, it was best for me to move on.
Pay attention to character, it shows through our actions over a period of time. Thank you for teaching me that in laws of human nature
I'm 32, in a long term relationship of 3 years. Fell in love with her mask, in the beginning she was supporting of my hobbies (not destructive hobbies, i workout, i code, i edit videos, youtube etc). I have a nice job, we do stuff together, we go out, travel. Now whenever I want to work on my dream and passions, not only doesn't support me, she fights with me why am I doing this, she comes in and stares at my work for a few seconds then acts like I'm wasting my time. When she works extra hours at home, I cook for her, bring her drinks, support her. Now I just need the power to get out of this, because I don't know if it can be fixed
You already know the answer bro. It’s tough knowing that someone you trusted and loved can suddenly turn their back on you.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this and we all know it’s going to get worse before it gets better. Keep reminding yourself everything in life is temporary and life will be so much better soon. Take care of yourself… and I really mean that.
I don't think you should end it over it, but you may need counselling or a third party for help
Jenny Keough, you spoke to my being ... zall
Brother please move on you don’t want to waste your time, we don’t have a lot and you should only spend your time with women who respect you.
Doing the work within yourself should be the first step before requiring anything from anyone. Alot of our wants and "needs" have been distorted because of how we was raised, who raised us,our own exspectations, the world and their abuse of who you should and shouldnt be, struggling to find yourself and who you really are without outside interference. Its really hard,its a war. So therapy really helps to vent through it ALL so you can see you and the world in a healthy way and be confident in that because the world will challenge you. Then and only you can make your request of what you want and dont want, because it will come from still and sound place, without ego and fear.
Speaking the same love language is ESSENTIAL, be it love for animals, for family life, for literature, for building, for nature, for whatever. And if the other person doesn’t love what you love, then at the very least they shouldn’t get in the way of the things you love. They need to step aside so you can still do the things you enjoy doing. Fulfillment of your individuality should be the biggest treasure that every human being should have the right to enjoy, no matter how deep a relationship may be.
To the man I love: I'm sorry I never found you, and I regret you never found me.
That cut deep. But thank you !
I agree
Have you found them yet?
There's still time
See u in paradise
In regards to being able to take criticism, there’s always elements to being able to DELIVER criticism as well. In a healthy, loving and kind relationship criticism is delivered also kindly and mindful of the other person’s feelings. Don’t fall for the trap of being hurtful because you are getting things off your chest. And if no matter how you do it confrontation still occurs, then it’s time to decide if you need to quit the relationship or if it’s worth seeing a therapist that teaches you how to DELIVER criticism.
I see someone Sensitive here or maybe someone who felt with someone who has low empathy levels? Idk, but if there is somethin about me to improve I’d love to hear it and change cuz most likely I wasn’t aware of it And same thing for the counter party if I see something wrong/needs improving etc I’ll pout it out without hesitating that’s how I want it to be. If they can’t take my criticism I’m out, I’m not gonna silence myself and my truth and be fake just to not hurt so one’s fragile ego If I got an opinion about a certain matter I need to feel safe to be able to share it if I can’t share it and be myself what’s there? A living hell a cage
No lie detected! This is everything IMO! Never what but how it’s said! It’s nice to be nice, especially guys. Our egos can’t handle when you’re supposed to be partner talks to you worse than the kids. I’m out before I catch a case! 😂
@@unknownoblivion2417 There's a difference between delivering criticism well and delivering criticism poorly.
Ex. "You piece of shit, you never do the fucking dishes, just fucking do them once in a while, I'm so tired of this shit" and "Hey, can we talk about the dishes? I feel like I have to remind you to help out with them, can we come to some sort of an agreement on sharing the work?"
Those are two different ways of delivering the criticism of "I don't feel like you help with the dishes enough", one belligerent and one kind.
Which one do you expect to have the best chance of creating an actual change?
It's very true about animals. I broke it off with someone after a month who first lied to me they love animals, obviously to please me. But after a while they admitted they like animals to be at a safe distance from them. And that broke my heart being someone who adores animals. I just cannot imagine my life without animals.
He has a lot of good advice.
Do your minds work the same way?
Do you laugh at the same things?
Do you have the same values?
Are they mature? Can they handle money well?
Are they affectionate?
Are they easily offended? Can they take criticism?
Are they controlling? Are they secretive?
Does what they say line up with what their family members say?
Are they conscientious?
Are they compassionate? Are they generous with time and money?
Robert undervalues the importance of physical attraction. Without it, and that is the main problem for older people who want to find a partner, there is no relationship even if both people have perfectly matched characters. What is left is : Friendship. Not bad, but not good enough for a partnership.
And vice versa. If you put too much value on physical attraction, you will not have a good relationship that is lasting. Most relationships nowadays are based on strong physical attraction. Good sex is not conducive to a lasting relationship and does not keep anyone together. Many people who are crazy about each other and have wild sex in the begining end up in bitter divorces. But friendship lasts, liking the person for who they are works. Not to say you should not value physical attraction and enjoy godd sex, but there has to be a proper balance. Inevitably, physical chemistry wears off, and then, what have you got left? Physical chemistry always wears off to a lesser degree, because a constant state of arousal is not humanly sustainable. I have options in dating, but I will not date anyone for their looks alone. It really does not impress me. And If they have bad character, I can't care at all about their 6 pack , how many hours they are at the gym, or what sexy tricks they know in bed, or how much money is in their account. I need to respect and admire a person and value them for who they are in order to even be attracted to them.
Hmm, my logic is looks and values for me personally is equal. There can be a woman who likes anime, and likes reading but if I dont find her sexually attractive, I can't select her as my partner. For me looks and values are equal and you need to find a partner that balances that. I like woman who are fit, feminine, gym-going, and has a nice butt and shape, and an attractive face, I select the delicious fruit of the garden.
@@joanofarcxxi All very true. Unfortunately, it is difficult to find such a person. My experience as a man is that whenever a woman has a great character and she is reasonably attractive, she is married. I traveled the world to find a woman who is single and overall attractive, but never met even one, not even the exception to the rule. That's why I live in the weird situation that I never got rejected by a woman, and yet I am always single. It's easy on the dating market to find pretty women or women with awesome character, but not the combination of both. Of course, such men are also rare.
@@ProfWho-ut5he You said it, brother. That's precisely how I feel.
@@DatHustlaBoi Anime is an important value... Lol
Side note: While it's probably good that there is some mystery, don't let it be too big since it can open door for cheating, double life or maybe personal money problems that affect you too (gambling etc).
Real shit
Absolutely. Cheating can be small thing comparing what kind of secrets people can keep. And be very cautious in long distance relationships.
^ learned this the hard way lol
Correct. When he said mystery it made me think of intellectual mystery. Any person of true depth has an aura of mystery to them, because their intellect spans far and wide enough to make you think "I wonder what could possibly be going on in their head" because you are interested in them. You should feel interested not because they are not sharing enough, but because you feel as though they could never share enough - like they are an endless spring
I don't care for mistery in a relationship .i like it to be crystal clear . A curious partner will always bring novelties in your lives.
This is such amazing advice, Robert. I have been single for a while as my husband passed away, I date but if there is little in common, I stop. My friends say I am picky but I would rather be alone than be bored with someone who does not share the similar interests and values. I love your books and everything your share with us!❤
Lol I'm picky too but there's 0.7% chance I will get my _upto the perfect_ partner considering my demographic region
_Also I judge on Music tastes , Thinking process....and Cats_
And why shouldn’t you or anyone else be picky? I am too….and truthfully, single life isn’t all that bad!
@@lavatr8322what music taste do you avoid? I’m starting to think it’s smart to judge in my case a woman by her music taste. Tells you a lot about that person.
@@lavatr8322 the music thing is pretty stupid and infantile. You're better off alone
@@erko78 🤦
If you think that you know all there is about your partner (which will most likely happen sooner or later!) then that means that you are both stuck in a rut so it’s time to get out of your routine and find new layers about the other person AND yourself as well. Finding new interesting things to do together is key for a long lasting relationship.
Amazing advice. In the middle of all this superficial dating advice and fights you see online, this is timeless wisdom. ❤
I love your books, you've changed my life. I'm Brazilian and I'm learning English to watch your videos. If possible, please add more subtitles to your videos to help foreigners follow your content. Thank you for everything, Robert Greene.
Não se preocupa, cara. A medida que você vai acostumando seu ouvido ao inglês e vai "incorporando" vocabulário suficiente pra entender a maioria das frases em inglês, vc não precisa mais de legendas se o áudio do vídeo for razoavelmente bom.
Pode demorar um pouquinho, mas é surpreendente, quando você menos se dá conta vc não precisa mais de nada pra entender a língua.
You go to the video description and open show transcript, you'll be able to follow the video with subtitles.
@@Danisa001 they are saying to add more languages to the subtitles ... the subtitles here are only in English ..
Also some Channels have videos translated in other languages
Long years ago I read many of his books to improve my English and learn the basics about life, it definitely helped me a lot.
@@clarkclarkePortuguese is here!
Dear Robert, I'm so happy I came across this video of yours - I've been searching life partner according all the features you have mentioned - conversation, mystery, sense of humour, love for animals (and plants in my case) and I was called superficial by people in my surroundings. It doesn't bother me, they are just not capable to understand how important these things are, and how much they can tell you about your future with certain person. Thank you so much, love from SE Europe 💕💕💕
you're looking for you in other's person body
Since some of the people you're around know so much, take a look at their marriages, family relationships and friendships!
"They are just not capable to understand how important these things are,"
BOOM!
That character vs personality thing is such a deep insight. Many a time in life I would meet someone or have someone as a friend and be deeply charmed by their personality. But every time I would interact with them I would feel something was deeply off with their character. They're not someone I should trust. I should distance myself from them. They're going to hurt me at some point. Every time I had these feelings, the relationship with such a person would not end well - and it would have served me well to stop and think very very deeply about this person until I got a clear view and insight on their true character. Problem is, our lives are so busy that we do not have that time and energy to stop and do this analysis - but I hope I will be able to do such analysis in future.
To talk even deeper about this subject. It is usually not necessary to do any analysis. You should just listen to your heart and follow it. If you have an ominous feeling about someone, you should trust your feelings and distance yourself from them. Let them prove themselves to you to be trustworthy before you trust them. And test them regularly.
That’s just a sad way of life. To keep testing people regularly just shows you don’t trust anyone at all
Mystery is definitely important to me because i get bored easily. Any quality that makes me think about you when youre not there really grabs my attention and keeps it for some reason. I really dont want to know all about you from the get go but i love learning new little things slowly.
Is that why your name is M
love your books man, I'm 18 and i have read all of your books . They were so so awakening for me. this THANK YOU can never be enough but thats currently all I can do for you.
Well done young man 👏
That is impressive! Wish I had the wisdom at 18!💕
You are so much further ahead!
1. can take criticism ( i can tell what i do not like about you, is the person get offended )
2. insecurity that a person have ( dark side of a person, can know it by talking about childhood )
3. interesting conversation ( articulate thoughts , multi tone)
4. similar sense of humour, similar taste in animal
When you first meet someone they don’t put all their cards on the table, if you are looking for a long lasting relationship don’t look at their personality blc most pipo wear masks look at their character closely,can they take criticisms,can you two converse, communicate ?
Look for someone with depth, someone with similar sense of humor, look for someone with a little element of mystery, they physical looks fade away but you need someone who matches your energy.
Thank you Robert.
I’m blessed to have someone who has a good character, honest, loyal, loving, intelligent, someone who I can rely on through thick and thin. To have fun and play with our cats, laugh on silly things, food, and movies.
It’s a blessing. And that starts with knowing yourself, first, loving yourself, growing and evolving.
Inside out.
So well said
Shared values and compatibility are essentials, indeed!
Absolutely
As with so many things in my life i feel late to the party. So glad to discover this man's work. Some of the things he says actually hit so true i feel sad. These are lessons learnt hard sometimes. Wishing you well Robert.
I really love that Robert says love of animals is key to him. A person's treatment and attitude towards animals is very important
I truly agree with your advice. The character is so important. Some men compliment my appearance. I'm glad about that of course. But at the same time, I'm not so happy because my appearance will change as I get aged. I'll think I will be happy with this guy every morning ever after.
Another key mistake that most people do in the beginning of relationships or dates is revealing too much about themselves. Everytime a man reveals a part of himself or makes himself familiar to the other person too early on, he becomes less attractive and losses that mysterious aura that initially attracted a girl to them, instead learn how to sparingly reveal parts of yourself, talk less about yourself, and more about the other person.
the hardest part is not choosing it is finding
lol so true
In regards to sharing a similar sense of humor, he’s right. My husband and I still find ways to laugh together, but we hardly ever laugh at each other. That is something that we take as a boundary that reinforces mutual respect. Otherwise, there’s plenty of silliness to laugh about.
I can't take critism well , it is something I definitely need to work on.
Every partner is perfect for somebody they find perfect. Everybody is perfect yet nobody is.
this is particularly important in extroverted cultures that encourage conflating persona with character, or even intellect
I’m so happy for your spouse, you’re such a beautiful soul!
Judging someone gets you a short-term partner. Appreciating someone gets you a long-term partner.
3:23 “so you want to look under the hood” So true! Charm & beauty can transform quickly when it’s bathed in defensiveness and bitterness. Great presentation. 💪👍😃
I also value physical attraction alongwith the cognitive pairing and analysis.
Yes definitely
you nailed it, Robert. this is great advice also for a parent to give to their kids. i wish i could have heard this talk from my mother when i was a teen.
240 Yes good point some people can't take any criticism and they can be hyper sensitive towards anything and bursting with insecurities
Character is important like them being strong intelligent and have a conversation.
Similar sense of humor is important...
1 year no surprises so they could become uninteresting
The last one made me smile. It's so true for me too. Love of animals is a must. And if it happens to be a cat, even better!
Gals who love animals, stay away
Personality is superficial.
When you look at the real character of the person, you get to know their real self.
Great video Robert, this is useful not only to find your long-life partner, but to find friends & people you can work with.
I am so excited to have discovered you on this platform. I read your books way back in my twenties. You have added so much value to the things I know . I will continue to tap in to the knowledge you put out . Thank you so much ! Amaka from Lagos , Nigeria.
We are charmed by the illusion of them and what we create of them. He is right …getting to know is a gradual process
Always great advice... But... I'd like to know just one man who is interested in "character" in the beginning of a relationship!!
I've never met one before!
Robert you are my internet mentor. I thank you from the bottom of my heart - Amin
Thank you so much for those advices! I love that you mentioned mindset about animals as an important factor in a long term relationship. For me someone who doesn’t LOVE animals (not just tolerate them) cannot be consider as a potential partner. Have a lovely day!
Excellent advice!
I wish I would’ve had this insight / knowledge years ago . 😢
Thank you !
Your wisdom is good and shall light the way for me for as long as I can remember or commit it to my memory. I am very pleased by the form of your videos, Robert. No long intos/outros, everybody has read the title and knows what they clicked on. You get straight in to discussion and don't fuss around.
Engage with Character rather than Personality. Character is the backbone of who they are not the mask they put on.
Some overall signs to look for:
1. How Strong they are
2. Sharing basic values with them
3. Can they take criticism?
4. Are they hipersensitive and easily get offended?
5. Having conversation with them 10 years later and not being bored
6. Being Intelligent
7. Can they surprise me talking with them?
8. Having similar sense of humor
9. Having an element of Mystery to them
10. If you have a value that is so important to you then they should have it too. For example if love animals they probably should like them too
My perfect partner is someone who doesn’t steal from me, cheat, lie. We can talk about anything, their deepest desires, even disagreements, and trust each other to stay together.
I've had many people judge me from the outside for superficial things. On the inside, I am mentally strong, intelligent, kind, creative and independent. They never get to that point of getting to know me for who I am in person. Those are people I don't want to be with, those that aren't willing to take steps to build, take a chance and accept me for who I am, we all have flaws, and I feel some people are more entitled to criticise others for minor things.
❤❤❤❤❤
I love Robert Greene books with passion
Great video, but let me point out that as an older man of 67, I also enjoy the fact that my wife has no interest in my fishing adventures and trips. I can go to Alaska or Key West and fish with my cousin and not have to involve her. I don't think it's necessary to have all dots connected.
This person described is my best friend in the world. We can’t be partners. I’m grateful to have him in my daily life and can’t imagine him not being somewhere in my life forever.
Finding someone exactly like him is a battle. I don’t want to…😢
People have things they are secure and insecure about. Voice it, it’s not a weakness. Get people a chance to accommodate or figure it out.
Character vs personality was a fascinating point… put words where I was struggling when trying to make sense of conflicting feelings with someone in my life
Seeing how they handle stress and empathy towards others. How they handle disagreements is a big one too. Passive aggressive people make lousy partners.
Thank you fo straightening that out for me, I realize now that I married my wife of 44 years because of her character not her personality, I now see the difference.
Loyalty.
Someone who has your back.
I agree with what Robert is saying. You have to have common ground, whether its with animals or anything else. I was with someone for many years and we had nothing in common. Her eyes were totally vacant like she did three minutes in the electric chair but lived. I remember the day I was in pieces in the bath tub crying, with my duck and everything. She was so stupid! I just wanted someone to talk to me! She thought Algebra was an area of northern Africa. She was taking about Algeria. And she couldn't take criticism. She used to yell "What are you incinerating?!!" She meant insinuating. Suffice it to say I needed treatment for PTSD.
I lol‘ed at the algebra part
Sounds like she had the SSRI stare
This is so much better than just stating "communication" like so many girls do because that term in itself is too vague for words.
Now I understand why I was dumped...Working on myself as we speak.
Hmmm good advise.A good heart,empathy,willingness to work together and a person that can talk about anything/everything.That' all.All the others traits can be practised
Very good advice, not only for a life partner but also for friendships.
Man you nailed it on the insecurities. My ex GF was so easily offended. Always tip toeing around someone is exhausting. So much so I just stopped communicating.
I’m 52 and I’ve never been able to meet a man that can meet me on my level.. I’d rather be single than with someone who bores me or makes me feel lonely
I pray that the individual has good character and self-control too😌God Bless you dear Robert for this valuable information.
Yes, sharing a love of animals is critical. I am on the other side of this. I moved in with a man who had three dogs and a cat. This taught me that I cannot live with dogs. And I prefer not to live with cats. I like cats, but I don't want their hair everywhere in my house and on my clothes. The tension in our relationship over the pets became increasingly intolerable over time. I have learned that in future relationships, dogs are a deal-breaker for sure, and having a cat is not preferred. Very important.
Hectic.
Yes, that's indeed a pro tip. I like short haired cats, but not sleeping in the bed and no dogs inside the house. It's non negotiable for me.
Loving animals doesn't necessarily equal having pets... there's quite a big difference.
@@marinab106 Good point.
My narc is very mysterious. I kept wanting to know why what is the mystery? Before I married him I remember thinking and imagining him sitting quietly in his house with his kids around him and spouse somewhere in the background . I decided let Me take him. (But now that I'm wise I realize that there's no mystery to him, "There's nobody there", as one Professor describes them.) So now I'm afraid of that mystery. But then again I've gained wisdom. Anyway Robert you expand more, talking about pets etc. Thnx for the advice and insight. *Character *, not personality.
Also of course there's no conversation, but it's a lonely world.
Great points! I would say that to me, love for animals is just a symptom of empathy - which is what really matters.
You are now also my emotional/relationship Teacher. Thanks for such an amazing and original point about relationships. A lot to unpack there and have so many questions now. Thanks again. I’m happy to have learned you live in my neighborhood in Los Angeles. My dream is to run into you some day and tell you how much I admire you. 🙏🏼
Thanks for sharing your wisdom Mr Greene. Keep shining ☀️
One must improve themselves first, you’ll attract your own kind
Robert always has the best advice no cap frfr on god
lololol
Finding a partner is like buying a house. Often very limited supply and you have to chose something in a scarce environment. The one you want may be not available at all or not available to you. Many people do not even chose their partner, it's just something that happens. People come together by accident and eventually the woman gets pregnant. Unfortunately, but that is life.
I never looked at it like that. That's true though. I know people in miserable situations like you described
no sugar coating, here!
Same with the way most people treat their lives, “it just happens to them”
43 it never just happened though hope I may experience an encounter that blossoms into something beautiful and real
Looking forward to "The Law of Sublime"
Absolutely, I have a feeling this is going to be Robert's crowning work. The cherry on top of his majestic books.
What a beautiful summary of love and partnership ♥️
Are you single?
Amazing that he brings up the sharing of love of animals! I think that's such an overlooked and important point. Because if you love animals it shows you have a deep empathy that goes beyond just your for your species. I love Robert Greene he's fantastic!
Yes, being able to communicate with this pwrson about different topics, about your favorite topics is certainly #1 feature that we need to be looking for!!!
Yes, make sure you share the same values.
Your wisdom is impeccable and profound. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this with us, I’m more hopeful about my future!
Yes, it wasn't even a year before the guy I dated got angry and became horribly physically abusive! No one around him would have known that this was his behavior behind closed doors!! Sicko.
Thank you for this excellent advice
Character over personality
Ability to take criticism
Humour and communication
Element of mystery
Similar values.
We can connect without mystery I do t know why mystery has to be so amazing
The wisest relationship advice I've heard all my life. Thank you sir.
How i assess it. You have chemistry. Tick. You have compatibility. Tick. You have seen each other's darksides and though you fight you address the issues. You been there for each other when shit got bad and didn't abandon each other when it got hard. Tick. You both share similar values and morals. Tick. Hello soul mate. ❤❤❤ and you laugh together. Big one for me. And always trust your intuition and gut about the person. For me this has worked. 😊😊 love couples with dynamics and grow together as people ❤❤❤ very fortunate in that sense and very grateful. 😊
Sometimes people change down the track as well and you find yourself with a very different version of what you thought you had. But all great advice "look under the hood" - takes a lifetime of experience to learn this! Oh well, I guess it's never too late to find that special someone.
This video is more about how to evaluate rather than find a partner. Still, good advice.
My personality is shit but my character is gold. I'm socially awkward, a poor communicator, isolated, weird, and physically weak and ugly. But I do my best every day to be kind, caring, authentic and brave, and not a quarter hour goes by without that on my mind. I still don't know which side will win. I guess my life is a heroic tragedy.
You can always improve those. I've done it, and it's pretty easy. You have to be consistent, that's the only way to improve.
i would love to take advantage of you and discard you like trash after a few years ^_^
Yeah you can improve on those "weaknesses" if you definitely work at it. We're social creatures and its really a pleasure when you can affect others in your life. One of the greatest pleasures imo
Something cool about a heroic tragedy tho
How wonderful that you can recognize areas of weakness. If you are open to suggestions- join something like Toastmasters that will challenge you to communicate well. It will push your comfort but likely give you great reward if you put in the work. Also, focus on fitness. These things will improve your confidence which will make you more attractive to others, and make YOU happier
wow 😮 in mbti infj and intp are that perfect match, that's why they're refered to as golden pair ❤❣
Your faith or lack thereof and whether they share it can also make or break a relationship as it affects everything in your life.