That’s why the manipulators try to tear down your sense of self worth. I’m experiencing that now. Hit the gym. Eat right. Sleep well. They can’t take that!
This is so true. My husband of 17yrs has been verbally abusive from the start of our marriage. About 3months ago he told me that he married me out of pity. That was an aha moment for me to plan my exit. For years he would control where I work and he would make comments about things he knew I was insecure about. About a yr ago I took a job that required a lot of travelling and this made him very insecure and the verbal abuse got worse. I on the other hand regained my confidence and I enjoyed being away from him because I was able to think for myself and I enjoyed the challenge the job came with. I got promoted 6months after getting job instead of congratulations from my husband his response was that my job didn't take much to shine . Lesson learned. It's been 3months since I've moved out and I'm already feeling the heavy weight lifting off my shoulders. No turning back, I'm rising .
Do good manufacturers ever talk to other manufacturers about not selling sub-standard products to customers. No it's the customers responsibility to READ THE LABEL N DISCERN.
Therapist here...If you are an open wound or sensitive due to past trauma, please don't post your pain/date/speak from a place of bitterness. Take yourself off the scenes and do the inner work to recognize and change your patterns. Until our patterns change, we are only attracting the same energy on repeat. We're too precious to be mistreated.
I feel like you could be my friend. 🙏🏻And, I’m careful, very careful with that word. I screenshot your message I will print it off and tape to my computer! Author, EboniF!
@cathyspivey7019 Omg, I really appreciate it! Girl you're absolutely right...friend is a privilege these days! I'm gonna screenshot Author E so I can manifest it! 😊
Exactly then that contridict what he saying cus then they wouldn't even try you cus they know it ain't gone work . Abusers try anybody and see what sticks . That's it , that's all..
My parents told me YEARS ago: It's NOT always the other person--" That hit HARD! When I started taking stock, I started making better choices! From my finances to the people I give my time to!!! Know your worth ladies... it will save you A LOT of tears❤
This is true. People will test your boundaries. But an abuser is an abuser. He won’t treat any woman well but his abuse looks different based on the woman he’s with.
I came here to say this. Don't ever believe that an abuser just stops abusing women. What I've learned is that they keep the mask on longer with other women or their abuse looks differently with another woman but they never stop abusing. It takes years of therapy and time alone to stop being an abusive person.
One thing I’ve noticed is a lot of guys do this bcs they’re usually talking to multiple women at once.they treat the one that’s not obsessed with them the best and the one that actually likes them the worst
@joanarc7963 Yes. I learned that some men have a "break a strong woman down" syndrome. So they intentionally attack women who seem strong and independent and try to slowly break them down.
Yall are wrong and this man is pandering. Men follow their smaller brains, and most who aren't obsessed with you will tell you the truth. There, mystery solved
They treat the one they're not obsessed with "bad" because they're usually the ugly/overweight ones. It's not rocket science. Women do the exact same thing. The ones yall like get to hit it for less.
Some of these dudes are just plain, outright evil. Whenever you purposely set out to use, abuse, manipulate, take advantage and/or mistreat someone, you're just evil. These are the same guys who if someone hurts them, they will want to end that person's life. When the shoe is on the other foot, all of a sudden it's not fun and games anymore.
RIP. I often tell this story to make the point this man is making. Men can "smell" it on you. Years ago, my BEAUTIFUL friend and I were in a club when a handsome guy, a complete stranger, came over, reached over me, and handed her his watch for "safekeeping." For the rest of the night, he drank and danced with other women. He bought her one drink, which she slowly drank waiting on him to come back. She was literally became a placeholder. At the end of the night, he collected his watch, and for next almost 30 years, he wrecked her life. Her children, everyone, BEGGED her to leave that POS alone. She and I fell out because I had my own issues, and I was done being pulled back into the cesspool of low self-esteem and even lower expectations. She died before we could make amends. That broke my heart, but when people don't or can't want better for themselves, it is impossible for them to want better for you. I wanted better.
I always practiced and taught my children, be slow to judge and quick to pray. Quick to forgive so u can move on! Make haste, or quickly run to your healing, bc life is waiting. With or without it. Life keeps cycling. And moving. And carrying on. Be well before going out. Protect your heart at all cost! You only have the one. Abusers can sniff u out quicker than a bloodhound! #KnowAndDemandYourValueAndWorth
The most dangerous and sick of players and abusers, I just recently encountered after 6 decades on this planet. Someone that entered my life with malice of fore thought and wanton cruelty with every conceivable malicious intent. Brought his entire tribe, family, friends, neighbors, cousins, corrupt politicians, whole health care and medical system. He’s a sociopath Dr.Jeckle, Mr Hyde. Our healthcare system leaves us open and vulnerable at a time when we are ripe for picking. When yoSick, weak, wealthy. Magnet for cannibalism. Im the executer of several family members estates. Dr. had attorney’s, accountants, bankers, govt. Fed and state and local, law enforcement, court cleck. Realtors, renovators, plumbers, electricians, bond companies. All Poised and practiced to devour. So many executers will tell you their loved one was sacrificed like a lamb for slaughter, every specialist carves a slice like a Xmas Turkey. Until your skin and bones.
Women need to especially not engage in ex talk. When you express what this person or that did to you and how long you took it, they know what they can do and how long.
Interesting though, because 90% of the time I genuinely refer to previous relationships positively. What’s wrong with referring to previous experiences such as traveling and social circles? Or funny turn of events?
Single life is underrated Single since 2014 no children and so happy and at peace and laughing on the inside at these men who think they’re doing me a favor until I disappear
THIS!!! 🔥🔥🔥 Being single is wonderful! Idk why people think otherwise. Personally I love it! 😅 I also love the idea of a great mate long term for latter years in life so I’m purposefully positioning myself. If the prospect isn’t serious and well mannered and doesn’t add to what I require (an increased wealthy and healthy life), I will not participate at all. It’s not worth it otherwise. Idc what anyone says when it comes to being single. Im very content and happy already as a single woman. I’m not adding havoc and stupidity to my life because of a guideless misdirected man. I will only add a person if he’s correct for my life.
The older it is the harder it is for swimming. The guys who come correct have already been taken. Just take that into consideration and just don’t expect anything.
So accurate! I never have to worry about verbal or emotional abusers because I can weed those people out easily but on occasion a financial abuser will try to talk to me and I always wonder why. What kind of energy am I giving that is attracting bums? Finally my best guy friend told me. He said you're successful, educated, and independent, these men think you'll take care of them. So now my standards of even conversationational energy requires a lot.
I hope the women that need to hear this really HEAR THIS. Stop accepting things that make you feel like shit. It’s on you, not the man that’s disrespecting you. If you don’t accept it, you can’t receive it. Focus on your self worth my loves. It is in your control. ❤
@Olivia uhm it should be on the males to treat women the way they wanted their moms/aunts to be treated, and their daughters! 🙄 But yeah since males are predators treating us like useless prey we unfortunately have to protect ourselves, whilst males are supposed to be men/humans, and are supposed to be protecting us! 🙄
Me!!!!!!! I HEAR this! My heart and my soul hear this. I feel like shouting from the rooftops! Instead I'm just going to dance in my bedroom while I get ready for my day. I am beautiful, I am intelligent, I am accomplished, kind, loving and fun to be around. So yes, know that this woman hears it ❤❤❤
This is so true. Men will talk to you more on purpose when you look bad/weird. I know this because when I notice my dark circles are pronounced or If i look tired and with low energy. Men will approach. I always felt it was predatory.
that is strange...like- dont they wanna approach a woman, who looks like super cute? instead of someone tired and just not in their best look? How are those tired faces attractive to them? ....
@@AmericanDreamer i think it’s psychological for them, they think defenses are down or you have no self esteem so they can weasel their way into your pants
Facts.....Another way you can identify them....If they Offer help to you...Or make it seem like they are on the same level you on.... Ex. You may be in college and need a car or having issues with a vehicle you already have....They may see that you need help and will offer it.... You may seem desperate or stressed out..... And they come like a thief in the night or a (Life saver) This is also called ENVIRONMENTAL USAGE...and its when a man uses the environment he is in to bait women...All of this is calculated! RUN WHEN YOU NOTICE THIS!
I don’t even want to bother with someone who is capable of taking advantage or manipulating a hurt insecured woman, even if it’s not me. And I can smell that energy in a man as well. So accountability goes both ways.
I was kinda thinking this too. Like me, i could never take advantage of a vulnerable person. Like I never see a weaker person and think “its time for me to feed” if you think that way you’re a MONSTER.
You can 100% sniff out a predator, especially as a woman. This is why women need to get back in touch with our intuition. It's there for a damn good reason!
Ain't no formula a abuser just gone try you. All you have to do is be a woman and he gone try you . That don't mean it's gone prosper but he'll try you .
And he'll get his ass beaten.....I have had enough of all this nonsense about how guys find women to mistreat and how they can't help it....after me.... they'll learn to not do that shit again...at least not to me
Facts...But that's frustrating all by itself. Why do they do that? It gets exhausting even when your single for a long time..... Then they loved to parade the words (marriage and lonely) trying to prove a point... shidd he is the one lonely if he gotta keep abusing women
A healing woman walks and talks different. It permeates our lives. We attract many unhealthy spirits, and we can spot genuine spirits no problem. By the time we decide to heal ourselves in our own healing we can recognize a healing person…and discern someone that is not. The key is, not saying anything, let them talk…and don’t talk about yourself at all unless it’s a common subject. You’ll try on the relationship like a dress in 10 minutes. If you feel you want to add them to your schedule do it and keep your heart closed until you see who they are. It’s an art leading with your heart but keeping it closed until you see exactly who they are.
Friends first! They will usually show their true colors quick! I left a narcissist 2 years ago, and several more have tried to get with me. Luckily I fully aware, and no longer giving men the benefit of the doubt! Don't wanna man anyway. I like being by myself. No drama!
1. WOW!!! 2. The zebras...😂😂😂, but point ***clearly*** made 3. I heard a guy once say that he went after women who didn't have fathers growing up, because they were easier to manipulate. 4. Thank you! This was absolutely incredible!!
You are correct! A guy that tried to pursue me years ago married a woman that he could obviously manipulate. Fast forward 9 years later, he was still attempting to keep in touch & see me throughout the entire time he was married. Needlesstosay, I always declined his offers everytime. Come to find out, the woman finally wised up, walked out & left him so he called again trying to reconnect with me. He can't offer me anything! Can you believe that this same guy is on multiple social media platforms posting relationship advice with scriptures knowing that his current wife already left him months ago. Why is he still delivering smoke & mirrors to unsuspecting GOOD WOMEN? Why is he wearing a mask, including a useless wedding band? Don't be fooled by guys trying to sell you a dream!
We men are conmen sometimes. I have been like him, but got tired of the games. But when you are in, the only thing that drives you is the adrenaline of the next catch. You grab her, use her and dump her.
The guy you're speaking of is a religious narcissist. Classic pathological narcissism. He knows something is very twisted about himself. So he needs to hide behind religion and being a self superior guru relationship advice, blah blah.
He’s right. It’s human nature. Even babies do it… pets do it… they test and see how much they can get away with before you put your foot down and put a boundary up. I learned this the hard way. Most people have some wound in them.
@@joankaranja5973 🙏Help Lord, Thou strength 💪🏾 of our lives: Psalms 27:1 A PSALM OF DAVID. 1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
💯💯 after my last disaster, i did a 360° and completely pulled back from dating. A year and a half later, im shocked by how i showed up everyday with all the issues i had! God really protected me. Change begins from within for sure
YES SIR!!!!! 🙌 I spent most of my younger years in bad relationships because abusers sniffed me from a mile away lol. I met my wonderful husband after I realized this. If you are not healed, do not talk to men. And if you do, pay attention. 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏
@@goddessglow6996 I learned about yoga, meditation and spirituality. I did what this guy said…I didn’t date any guy until I completely understood my worth.
Agree w/you 150%!! My mother always used to tell me, "You need to get a thicker crust! Stop analyzing! Actions speak louder than words! You don't need to know HIS WHY, just that he did it!" (Whatever "it" is!)
Here’s clues: A woman that’s dressed provocative while with her young children/babies. A woman that is overly flattered by a man’s compliments. It’s okay to say ‘thank you’ but a woman that behaves like she doesn’t receive compliments is vulnerable. A woman with ill-fitted clothing, dirty shoes, etc. An overweight woman (men tend to think they can take advantage). A woman that’s okay with being a side chick. A woman that shares too much about her life. A woman that shares too much about being mistreated. A woman with no father/brothers or protective people in her life. A woman that appears defeated.
@@dcg31freeexactly predators/males prey on everyone, even virgins that have Not been touched or ruined, heck those vile swines even take it away from virgins! 🤢🤮
I'm big and love and respect self. Not in need of nothing I can't do for self . absolutely will not take care of any man that hasn't married or supported me. This is sad but the man is telling the truth
@@tsreiki They are females who are desperate for male attention who put other women down in an attempt to place themselves above that woman in male eyes. Think women who blame their daughters for getting graped by their boyfriends.
If you are a moderately attractive woman you are going to get tried by a lot of different men. Healed or not, they will think they can play you. Your only job is to decide who you will entertain. Leopards do not change or lose their spots. Once he shows his tail, get out. No second chances no long winded apologies, be up outta there. When people show you who they are believe them the first time.
It's also jealousy...... they are jealous an miserable with their looks an love life ..... these are ppl who really don't like themselves with fake confidence
Reality check for me, but I have noticed and have begun to check myself. This is the lowest I have ever been mentally, but through you Kirk, and platforms like yours I am armed with better knowledge and I can happily say I have begun the work, one of my checkpoints is my weight. Need to lose some in the middle because I am not comfortable wearing the clothing I like. I HAD BEEN TARGETED, thank you CONSCIOUS KIRK. The other checkpoint is never again a man younger than myself, because when they argue they go real low and bring out your age difference as a weapon of mass destruction to your self-esteem .
I'm not most of these, but I am disabled and a homebody, pretty much, I'm an Empath that's why, but he thought my esteem was low, but idk why. He was a Narcissist and I'm not that easily manipulated , I just didn't show much interest in him, so he cheated, but he lost out because I'm single now & he's still in that Rabbit hole, being sneaky & getting absolutely NOWHERE in his sorry life!
Girl, I dated a man who was 68 while I was 40 and he tried to claim I was too old to move on. 😂 Find your self esteem ❤ and remember. When there is no hurt within, there is no hurt without.
They see healed and strong people as a challenge and will try…once they try and realise the spirit is strong and can’t be deceived they act up and flee with drama…
@@ce5693It's because they know that the empathy possess qualities that they don't have and try to appropriate them for themselves. They might also think empaths are more likely to respond to their sob stories.
I put this on my Facebook because women are so lonely, we out here accepting things we dnt deserve! Get some girlfriends, a pastor, a good coworker, whatever and listen to wisdom from them. Not gossip. Wisdom. And learn and take in what they say so you can implement the boundaries you need to keep your peace safe. My meditation room changed my life. Spending time alone isn't bad. You'll be surprised what you hear when your quiet and honest with yourself.❤
Jesus is our husband and God is our first love! This is where the "praying grandma" comes back. You're right, we need to be back taking care of our village and each other while following The Most High. This is the most necessary self care. Especially for black women
ATP IDC... I'm at the point where I'm enjoying being single! I do not have time to be trying to decipher all these different cues and feelings these men are doing & having. I am literally tired. It's too much. I've been single & celibate for 6 wonderful years. I love it! I took myself out of the shitty dating pool because it was killing me. I was giving too much of myself, now I'm not giving any of myself. I sit back and observe men now and think to myself...wtf was I thinking? Compulsive liars, serial cheaters, financially instable, poor conversationalist... I'm done. I'm convinced that they don't want a real woman, they want a mom!
I've been there too, five years single and celibate. But in Dec I got on a dating app for fun. I messaged one guy that I found interesting, and now we've been texting consistently since December. He's half way across the country but, that makes things easier. We don't have to rush into anything.
You're still missing the point though. You attracted these men. Ask yourself why and do the inner work. Good on you though for the 6yrs. How abt test that new boundary of yours by getting in the market n uphold it n see how things change around you. Go on give it a try.
are we talking about men or black men? there always has to be a distinction made. black men are their own category with their own stats that are different than other men & not in a good way. they know this that's why they love to hide behind the word MEN & equate themselves with men in general. but in general, other races of men don't have the stats that black men have. dating is always harder when you stick strictly to black men. your whole life is harder.
Some of these predators will chase you down and pretend well to get what they want. Yes, insecurities make it easier, but they don't always choose weak women they go for them all.
I wish I knew this before. I was with a narcissistic guy for 2 years 9 months and after a year 6 months he started being so awful. I lost myself and self worth. He manipulated me all the time and gaslit me all the time and I didn't even realize it because I wasn't high vibrational. I was weak and he treated me like I'm another girl trying to get his attention but I was not good enough to get it. I haven't healed and yes there were some men who came around to try and get my attention but they'd do that for a few weeks and then just disappear. Reality check. I really need to stay away from men until Im strong within myself again. Thank you Kirk for this.
Right which is total BS. So instead of him healing, he goes from woman to woman, wreaking havoc and bleeding on the next. Being a pretender and liar. 🤥
Some men will come in and act as advertisements. They will present something they think you may not like about yourself to see your response. Very true. It's a tactic to tear you down.
Preach! I was warned by one that they even look for motivation posts or posts you think you’re sharing to be uplifting bc then they wonder if you’re going through something & you need that reassurance😳 That’s a vulnerability. I’ve know men who purposely target single mothers, low income women, women who don’t take care of their appearance well, & women with serious illnesses bc to them they feel like these are weaknesses & they have the upper hand. It’s a lot of food for thought. No normal person would ever imagine.
Yes they’re not normal. They will target a woman who is at her lowest point in life, through no fault of her own just external circumstances that have caused her trauma and prey. They have no heart whatsoever just a cold reptilian way of operating. Sick individuals who think they’re entitled to do whatever they want and it’s the woman’s fault for being weak. Trauma weakens people but these c@&#x have no concept or trauma or how their actions affect others and don’t care. If you try expose them they will discredit you and make you look like the villain. My life was ruined by one five years ago who found me when I was homeless and had been through so much and he took full advantage of that and then destroyed my support network
Interesting. To me showing vulnerability and compassion can just aswell be strength as naivity, so I have a different perception of strength to them and I want to flip the script. I do not accept their rules, that we should be scared and always be perfect and not bother them with any problem or worries. Im not buying it. I take behavioural guidance from men with a grain of salt.
@1:05 thank you for sharing and why are you even saying it like it's OK? Those males are disgraceful and should be ashamed of themselves for hurting innocent women who did Nothing heinous to them! They obviously do not love their moms/grandmas/aunts/nieces/daughters. P.s. the measure of a man's greatness is how he treats others!!!!!! 🙄
What he is saying is common sense. As a person, you should know to remove yourself from a situation when a person starts to act inappropriately with you.
@@rosamaundallen1035Unfortunately, not everyone knows what's inappropriate. Because I grew up with two narcissistic parents, I had to learn this through experience as an adult. Consider yourself blessed if this isn't your story.
I agree with your truth about physical abusers. I was much younger than my ex and out of absolutely no where he thought he could fight on me. I immediately told him with all knowing, that I pray you have packed a lunch and if you touch me, you will go to the hospital. Later his daughters told me he use to beat on their mother. I left him alone with a quickness
Like picking flowers. You are beautiful and they want to pick you. But after the flower is picked and withers, dont want it anymore. Off to pick the next beautiful flower.
You literally just described my entire life with men approaching me or rather the type of man that approached me and why that they do. You just spit so many facts in my face that it is ridiculous! I have saved this I have like this and I have shared this. But most importantly I will use it for myself and I will listen to it repeatedly because you've just given me The playbook on how NOT to get played any more😂! Thank you so very much
I really don’t understand your mindset. The minute someone starts talking and acting crazy, you are to remove yourself from the situation. Not stay. That is insane to accept abuse and mistreatment from someone.
@@rosamaundallen1035It's likely that someone will stay in an abusive relationship if abusive behavior is familiar to them, i.e., they grew up with it. It's also true that the abuse doesn't begin until the abuser knows you're invested in making the relationship work. The abuse also gradually gets worse over time such that you almost don't even perceive how bad it is until you one day realize that you're tolerating behavior you never would have put up with in the beginning of the relationship.
This part! All of it. I’ve experienced it with a friend , a 50 year friendship. I never saw it coming, but dismissed my instincts due to the length of friendship.
Wow. It makes perfect sense. I experienced it all the time and I just thought I was just picking the bad guys. I am always drawn to self introspection/ healing/ motivation/therapy/spiritual work. I am currently single, still continuing with healing. Just glad that I can put this “find a man” journey to an end once and for all. Thank you for the insight.
This video is so eye opening. Thank you Kirk, this is perfect timing for me and I’m know realizing that I allowed myself to be an easy target. I’m officially out of the dating world now and I’m going to refocus on my healing journey and achieving my goals
I have always said this..ssdf= same shit different face... I'm old school Kirk i an not on social media. Most guys chase me for years. I'm not easy. I'm nice to ppl but not overly. I am a loner.. not a lotta friends or ppl in my life. So, i don't see how ppl see me as a target. I see how the last guy saw me as a target 🎯 bcus i had just lost my fiance and i had a young 5yo boy but he kept after me for an entire year so i decided to give him a chance. Wrong choice. Ive been singular and abstinent since.
Our parents told us since we were teenagers, people test you sometimes with their comments to see if and how you respond to know if to take the disrespect further. They say shut it down immediately, first time.
Now that I have boundaries and I’m not interested in dating at this time so I can work on myself, I find that it pisses men off! The last one pulled out the gay card on me because I didn’t want to date a guy from his work. 😂 Men act like I don’t have the right to be single. Why is THAT?
Give me tips sister I wannabe like you am a gentle kind soul by nature. And I see people takes me for a fool even friends because of my genuine intentions and generous nature. Am the kind of person who go all out to support people who are around and I see a pattern of people taking advantage of the person I am. But the more I grow up the more I see and realize who some people are in my life and when I get rid of them it can feel that am harsh on people.
What he is saying is common sense. Have boundaries. The minute someone acts inappropriately with you through their actions and verbal communication, you are supposed to remove yourself from the situation. Stop contact with them.
💯.... a guy tried and realized Im not easily manipulated .... he told me I be too clean and polished all the time.... I said okay cool.... he tried all kind of tactics.... next thing he doing the most.... I locked him off.... he said I was being cold and difficult....😅😅😅😅😅 ohhhh okay cool ❤❤❤❤❤
Now you speaking the gospel truth.! I was like let me get on this weight loss journey before I get back out there because I absolutely knew! Now I am ready and armed ! Was not going to go out there heavy only to attract a manipulator and they love it when you sweet and cute and fat a little bit 😂😢 #theydo
Whew, what a word. Most of us kinda knew this but you laid it out “blueprint.” Ladies, it’s beyond time to wake up. Entertain these men on “Your” terms. It’s time out for being played, victimized, manipulated by men.
So ladies when a man tests your boundaries then let him do it 3+ times and let him think you have no boundaries and then slam him with it and end the relationship. Be if they do it once they will say they didn’t mean it. Let them do it a few times and throw it back in his face when you end it. Take all the emotions out and walk away. Then he might think twice about doing it with the next person. Sometimes you just have to one up their own game plan!
Oh my God! It all makes sense. To me you are a big brother. I just love to hear you talk. At my age, I am learning a lot with you. You give me confirmation of what I have already known as well. Thank you. May God bless you and your family abundantly.🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤
That’s why the manipulators try to tear down your sense of self worth. I’m experiencing that now. Hit the gym. Eat right. Sleep well. They can’t take that!
👏🏼👏🏼
❤❤❤❤
Exactly ❤
☝🏾🙏
You make them seem ordinary that's why ..... lol meditate
This is so true. My husband of 17yrs has been verbally abusive from the start of our marriage. About 3months ago he told me that he married me out of pity.
That was an aha moment for me to plan my exit.
For years he would control where I work and he would make comments about things he knew I was insecure about. About a yr ago I took a job that required a lot of travelling and this made him very insecure and the verbal abuse got worse. I on the other hand regained my confidence and I enjoyed being away from him because I was able to think for myself and I enjoyed the challenge the job came with. I got promoted 6months after getting job instead of congratulations from my husband his response was that my job didn't take much to shine . Lesson learned. It's been 3months since I've moved out and I'm already feeling the heavy weight lifting off my shoulders. No turning back, I'm rising .
Keep going!! Godspeed ❤️
Amen and Amen. God is good. Keep shining Queen.❤
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 much love and blessings to you
Why did you stay so long? Why did you even marry him?
@@rosamaundallen1035 That's not important. We all live and learn. Congratulations to her for moving on. Focus on the future!!🎉🎉
It's always warnings for women. Do good men ever talk to other men about not using, abusing, or manipulating women?
You said what you said 🙌🏽🙌🏽💯
No, it’s expected for men to be bad. The sad part is pick me’s also defend these men.
I don’t see how they can be good men then but that’s just me
Do good manufacturers ever talk to other manufacturers about not selling sub-standard products to customers. No it's the customers responsibility to READ THE LABEL N DISCERN.
I was gonna comment this. Thank you!!!!
Therapist here...If you are an open wound or sensitive due to past trauma, please don't post your pain/date/speak from a place of bitterness. Take yourself off the scenes and do the inner work to recognize and change your patterns.
Until our patterns change, we are only attracting the same energy on repeat. We're too precious to be mistreated.
You do not know what your message has done for me ma’am! Thank you. Not much catches my attention - but this did!
@@cathyspivey7019 Oh wow! Thank you so much 💓
I feel like you could be my friend. 🙏🏻And, I’m careful, very careful with that word. I screenshot your message I will print it off and tape to my computer! Author, EboniF!
@cathyspivey7019 Omg, I really appreciate it! Girl you're absolutely right...friend is a privilege these days! I'm gonna screenshot Author E so I can manifest it! 😊
@@EboniFaulkner 🥰💕😇
Listen up darling.... These abusive men out there are the ones who have childhood trauma issues!!
Yes
Yup
Many of these Men Haye themselves too.They feel inadequate so they bully Women to feel strong.
So the women who allow themselves to be beat.... what's their problem?
Spoiled by the females in their life
What goes around comes around... can't mistreat people!
Agreed!
But the pick me’s defend these men.
Yes, that's absolutely true. But that's not the point darl...
You allowed yourself to be mistreated, it takes two to tango.
@@heavensperspective8977so the first time someone mistreats you, you allowed it?
Thank you!
They try me but God reveals them to me.
TRUE. I AGREE.
Me too, he’s showing me now
100%
💯 💯
Exactly then that contridict what he saying cus then they wouldn't even try you cus they know it ain't gone work . Abusers try anybody and see what sticks . That's it , that's all..
My parents told me YEARS ago: It's NOT always the other person--" That hit HARD! When I started taking stock, I started making better choices! From my finances to the people I give my time to!!! Know your worth ladies... it will save you A LOT of tears❤
This spoke to me you definitely have to make better choices and who you allow to entertain PREACH
Yah so on point 🙏
True. It's the 5 of swords tarot card. The low hanging fruit
Yes!
That doesn't mean they deserve it
This is true. People will test your boundaries. But an abuser is an abuser. He won’t treat any woman well but his abuse looks different based on the woman he’s with.
The abuse DOES LOOK DIFFERENT depending on who they're with but they're STILL abusive
Fact
exact
🎯🎯🎯
I came here to say this. Don't ever believe that an abuser just stops abusing women. What I've learned is that they keep the mask on longer with other women or their abuse looks differently with another woman but they never stop abusing. It takes years of therapy and time alone to stop being an abusive person.
One thing I’ve noticed is a lot of guys do this bcs they’re usually talking to multiple women at once.they treat the one that’s not obsessed with them the best and the one that actually likes them the worst
Yes👌
@joanarc7963 Yes. I learned that some men have a "break a strong woman down" syndrome. So they intentionally attack women who seem strong and independent and try to slowly break them down.
Yall are wrong and this man is pandering. Men follow their smaller brains, and most who aren't obsessed with you will tell you the truth. There, mystery solved
Even if you like someone, it's still your responsibility to pay attention to the red flags; they are there and they speak loud.
They treat the one they're not obsessed with "bad" because they're usually the ugly/overweight ones. It's not rocket science. Women do the exact same thing. The ones yall like get to hit it for less.
They also pick on YOUNG girls who are barely in highschool. Just predators period.
Yes alot of them are pimps.
Yes! They do that because they know a grown woman ain’t gone put up with them or they preying like you said. It’s sad
My friend is 18 at that time married her boyfriend is 32 years old.. he boyfriend divorce is wife for marriage her what the scary world we live 😢
@@chenzea7668and when your friend turns 30 he’ll be divorcing her too for a different 18yo.
These young girls know they have no business dealing with these men
Some of these dudes are just plain, outright evil. Whenever you purposely set out to use, abuse, manipulate, take advantage and/or mistreat someone, you're just evil. These are the same guys who if someone hurts them, they will want to end that person's life. When the shoe is on the other foot, all of a sudden it's not fun and games anymore.
That's right and if you do the same bs to them or call them out they freak. Dump their sorry asses.
That's right ✅️
Definitely 🎉
Absolutely agree 💯
Mostly atl and LA men😢😮😮😮😮😢😢😢
Why can't people just have a conscience and empathy? My god all this bullcrap mind/emotional games!
Exactly
@@eisenhower9069 People, espcially young, immature folks, get their kicks making people feel bad. How very sad.
Right the video needs to say folks who stand by and watch men take advantage of good women and young girls stop blaming us
Because people with narcissistic traits are around us.
Wheat and Chaffe
I'm to the point I look at men in disgust and feel nothing for them. I learned the hard way to just keep to myself.
I don't feel disgusted about men's because it's was my choice not God when God brings some one his blessings makes it rich and added no sorrows
👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾
You were just an easy target and fell for it. Don't blame men. We have nothing to do with your choices
‼️
Same
RIP. I often tell this story to make the point this man is making. Men can "smell" it on you. Years ago, my BEAUTIFUL friend and I were in a club when a handsome guy, a complete stranger, came over, reached over me, and handed her his watch for "safekeeping." For the rest of the night, he drank and danced with other women. He bought her one drink, which she slowly drank waiting on him to come back. She was literally became a placeholder. At the end of the night, he collected his watch, and for next almost 30 years, he wrecked her life. Her children, everyone, BEGGED her to leave that POS alone. She and I fell out because I had my own issues, and I was done being pulled back into the cesspool of low self-esteem and even lower expectations. She died before we could make amends. That broke my heart, but when people don't or can't want better for themselves, it is impossible for them to want better for you. I wanted better.
😮😢omg
Please like this comment so I can remember this lesson
I always practiced and taught my children, be slow to judge and quick to pray. Quick to forgive so u can move on! Make haste, or quickly run to your healing, bc life is waiting. With or without it. Life keeps cycling. And moving. And carrying on. Be well before going out. Protect your heart at all cost! You only have the one. Abusers can sniff u out quicker than a bloodhound! #KnowAndDemandYourValueAndWorth
The most dangerous and sick of players and abusers, I just recently encountered after 6 decades on this planet.
Someone that entered my life with malice of fore thought and wanton cruelty with every conceivable malicious intent. Brought his entire tribe, family, friends, neighbors, cousins, corrupt politicians, whole health care and medical system.
He’s a sociopath Dr.Jeckle, Mr Hyde.
Our healthcare system leaves us open and vulnerable at a time when we are ripe for picking.
When yoSick, weak, wealthy.
Magnet for cannibalism.
Im the executer of several family members estates.
Dr. had attorney’s, accountants, bankers, govt. Fed and state and local, law enforcement, court cleck.
Realtors, renovators, plumbers, electricians, bond companies. All
Poised and practiced to devour.
So many executers will tell you their loved one was sacrificed like a lamb for slaughter, every specialist carves a slice like a Xmas Turkey. Until your skin and bones.
Wow. Happy and sad for U SiStar🎶✨️💜🐲
Women need to especially not engage in ex talk. When you express what this person or that did to you and how long you took it, they know what they can do and how long.
Great point.
Interesting though, because 90% of the time I genuinely refer to previous relationships positively. What’s wrong with referring to previous experiences such as traveling and social circles? Or funny turn of events?
exactly!
This
Love how he had to correct himself saying men with abusers. Big Freudian slip lol
Single life is underrated
Single since 2014 no children and so happy and at peace and laughing on the inside at these men who think they’re doing me a favor until I disappear
So you a play girl? Like the play boys? If I’m single I don’t play with men at all. 🤢
THIS!!! 🔥🔥🔥
Being single is wonderful! Idk why people think otherwise. Personally I love it! 😅 I also love the idea of a great mate long term for latter years in life so I’m purposefully positioning myself. If the prospect isn’t serious and well mannered and doesn’t add to what I require (an increased wealthy and healthy life), I will not participate at all.
It’s not worth it otherwise. Idc what anyone says when it comes to being single. Im very content and happy already as a single woman. I’m not adding havoc and stupidity to my life because of a guideless misdirected man. I will only add a person if he’s correct for my life.
😂 Love it!
The older it is the harder it is for swimming. The guys who come correct have already been taken. Just take that into consideration and just don’t expect anything.
Keep in mind that being confident, strong, and successful also makes you a target. These types love to mooch and tear you down
Facts
Truth!!!!👏👏👏
So accurate! I never have to worry about verbal or emotional abusers because I can weed those people out easily but on occasion a financial abuser will try to talk to me and I always wonder why. What kind of energy am I giving that is attracting bums? Finally my best guy friend told me. He said you're successful, educated, and independent, these men think you'll take care of them. So now my standards of even conversationational energy requires a lot.
Moochers! People will mooch off of your energy and sit in your face despising you and don’t leave because they’re bored. 😑
NEVER give a man money! "I ain't got it!" 😂
I hope the women that need to hear this really HEAR THIS. Stop accepting things that make you feel like shit. It’s on you, not the man that’s disrespecting you. If you don’t accept it, you can’t receive it. Focus on your self worth my loves. It is in your control. ❤
@Olivia uhm it should be on the males to treat women the way they wanted their moms/aunts to be treated, and their daughters! 🙄
But yeah since males are predators treating us like useless prey we unfortunately have to protect ourselves, whilst males are supposed to be men/humans, and are supposed to be protecting us! 🙄
Good morning Olivia ,
Your comment was kind
Sweet and true. Be well.😊
Love THIS!!!
Agreed
Me!!!!!!! I HEAR this! My heart and my soul hear this. I feel like shouting from the rooftops!
Instead I'm just going to dance in my bedroom while I get ready for my day.
I am beautiful, I am intelligent, I am accomplished, kind, loving and fun to be around.
So yes, know that this woman hears it ❤❤❤
This is so true. Men will talk to you more on purpose when you look bad/weird. I know this because when I notice my dark circles are pronounced or If i look tired and with low energy. Men will approach. I always felt it was predatory.
that is strange...like- dont they wanna approach a woman, who looks like super cute? instead of someone tired and just not in their best look? How are those tired faces attractive to them? ....
Same
@@AmericanDreamer i think it’s psychological for them, they think defenses are down or you have no self esteem so they can weasel their way into your pants
@@AmericanDreamerbecause you seem easier to get
Facts.....Another way you can identify them....If they Offer help to you...Or make it seem like they are on the same level you on....
Ex. You may be in college and need a car or having issues with a vehicle you already have....They may see that you need help and will offer it.... You may seem desperate or stressed out..... And they come like a thief in the night or a (Life saver) This is also called ENVIRONMENTAL USAGE...and its when a man uses the environment he is in to bait women...All of this is calculated! RUN WHEN YOU NOTICE THIS!
I don’t even want to bother with someone who is capable of taking advantage or manipulating a hurt insecured woman, even if it’s not me. And I can smell that energy in a man as well. So accountability goes both ways.
This!👆🏾❤
I was kinda thinking this too. Like me, i could never take advantage of a vulnerable person. Like I never see a weaker person and think “its time for me to feed” if you think that way you’re a MONSTER.
Exactly what I said to myself.
🎯🎯🎯
You can 100% sniff out a predator, especially as a woman. This is why women need to get back in touch with our intuition. It's there for a damn good reason!
Ain't no formula a abuser just gone try you. All you have to do is be a woman and he gone try you . That don't mean it's gone prosper but he'll try you .
And he'll get his ass beaten.....I have had enough of all this nonsense about how guys find women to mistreat and how they can't help it....after me.... they'll learn to not do that shit again...at least not to me
This.
Facts...But that's frustrating all by itself. Why do they do that? It gets exhausting even when your single for a long time..... Then they loved to parade the words (marriage and lonely) trying to prove a point... shidd he is the one lonely if he gotta keep abusing women
A healing woman walks and talks different. It permeates our lives. We attract many unhealthy spirits, and we can spot genuine spirits no problem. By the time we decide to heal ourselves in our own healing we can recognize a healing person…and discern someone that is not. The key is, not saying anything, let them talk…and don’t talk about yourself at all unless it’s a common subject. You’ll try on the relationship like a dress in 10 minutes. If you feel you want to add them to your schedule do it and keep your heart closed until you see who they are. It’s an art leading with your heart but keeping it closed until you see exactly who they are.
U is point on💯
💯
Yes! Thank you🌷🦋
Friends first! They will usually show their true colors quick! I left a narcissist 2 years ago, and several more have tried to get with me. Luckily I fully aware, and no longer giving men the benefit of the doubt! Don't wanna man anyway. I like being by myself. No drama!
I agree with guarding your heart and keep your legs shut!!! They will use you!
A sign of a true man of God is when they see a persons weakness, but will not take advantage of that person.
1. WOW!!!
2. The zebras...😂😂😂, but point ***clearly*** made
3. I heard a guy once say that he went after women who didn't have fathers growing up, because they were easier to manipulate.
4. Thank you! This was absolutely incredible!!
..How sorry can u get to pray on a women's insecurities. What a sorry excuse for a man!😮
3.😢.Breaks my heart.
3. OmG! Makes perfect sense! I didn’t have a father growing up but I can’t be manipulated. Then they run away and complain I’m not submissive!
Glad my dad was around. I don't play that bs. I disrespect them right back 😂
You are correct! A guy that tried to pursue me years ago married a woman that he could obviously manipulate. Fast forward 9 years later, he was still attempting to keep in touch & see me throughout the entire time he was married. Needlesstosay, I always declined his offers everytime. Come to find out, the woman finally wised up, walked out & left him so he called again trying to reconnect with me. He can't offer me anything! Can you believe that this same guy is on multiple social media platforms posting relationship advice with scriptures knowing that his current wife already left him months ago. Why is he still delivering smoke & mirrors to unsuspecting GOOD WOMEN? Why is he wearing a mask, including a useless wedding band? Don't be fooled by guys trying to sell you a dream!
We men are conmen sometimes. I have been like him, but got tired of the games. But when you are in, the only thing that drives you is the adrenaline of the next catch. You grab her, use her and dump her.
@@andrewkifee381 Thank you for your honesty. Nice to know you have reformed and evolved. This gives the next good woman the best version of yourself.
@@andrewkifee381Did you really get tired or did ED sat in and now your game doesn't work anymore along with the 🍆. Boy bye
The guy you're speaking of is a religious narcissist. Classic pathological narcissism. He knows something is very twisted about himself. So he needs to hide behind religion and being a self superior guru relationship advice, blah blah.
Derrick Jackson?
Ladies the predators are seeking who they May devour! Keep your guard up, Be Confident in yourself and KNOW You Are ENOUGH!!❤
He’s right. It’s human nature. Even babies do it… pets do it… they test and see how much they can get away with before you put your foot down and put a boundary up. I learned this the hard way. Most people have some wound in them.
Babies and pets are the worse 😂
No wonder God says, "let the weak say I am strong"😊
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Amen and Amen. What a beautiful revelation.
Made me laugh out 🤣🤣🤣🤣 in this 😢 moment
@@joankaranja5973 🙏Help Lord, Thou strength 💪🏾 of our lives:
Psalms 27:1
A PSALM OF DAVID.
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?
the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
💯💯 after my last disaster, i did a 360° and completely pulled back from dating. A year and a half later, im shocked by how i showed up everyday with all the issues i had! God really protected me. Change begins from within for sure
You mean 180, 360 is a full circle, back where you started
Good for you❤! You did a 180, you went in the opposite direction. 😊
What did you change in the year and a half??
YES SIR!!!!! 🙌 I spent most of my younger years in bad relationships because abusers sniffed me from a mile away lol. I met my wonderful husband after I realized this.
If you are not healed, do not talk to men. And if you do, pay attention.
👏 👏 👏 👏 👏
How do you heal?
@@goddessglow6996 I learned about yoga, meditation and spirituality. I did what this guy said…I didn’t date any guy until I completely understood my worth.
Agree w/you 150%!! My mother always used to tell me, "You need to get a thicker crust! Stop analyzing! Actions speak louder than words! You don't need to know HIS WHY, just that he did it!" (Whatever "it" is!)
Here’s clues:
A woman that’s dressed provocative while with her young children/babies.
A woman that is overly flattered by a man’s compliments. It’s okay to say ‘thank you’ but a woman that behaves like she doesn’t receive compliments is vulnerable.
A woman with ill-fitted clothing, dirty shoes, etc.
An overweight woman (men tend to think they can take advantage).
A woman that’s okay with being a side chick.
A woman that shares too much about her life.
A woman that shares too much about being mistreated.
A woman with no father/brothers or protective people in her life.
A woman that appears defeated.
.. Those are some of them. Some men just don't care & use everyone... best just to leave them alone!
This is very sad. At one point I have been all of these things, just going through the human experience... Makes you walking prey 😑
@@dcg31freeexactly predators/males prey on everyone, even virgins that have Not been touched or ruined, heck those vile swines even take it away from virgins! 🤢🤮
@@dcg31free it's very sad because these people just need love and support.
I'm big and love and respect self. Not in need of nothing I can't do for self . absolutely will not take care of any man that hasn't married or supported me. This is sad but the man is telling the truth
Ouch! This was brutally honest, but necessary. Thanks for sharing Kirk.. 🥴💪🏽
❤️❤️
This is why pickmes actually do get picked. But that is not a good thing because no one deserves to be abused.
What are pick mes?
@@tsreiki They are females who are desperate for male attention who put other women down in an attempt to place themselves above that woman in male eyes. Think women who blame their daughters for getting graped by their boyfriends.
If you are a moderately attractive woman you are going to get tried by a lot of different men. Healed or not, they will think they can play you. Your only job is to decide who you will entertain. Leopards do not change or lose their spots. Once he shows his tail, get out. No second chances no long winded apologies, be up outta there. When people show you who they are believe them the first time.
Good advice! As the mouth speaketh, so is he!
It's also jealousy...... they are jealous an miserable with their looks an love life ..... these are ppl who really don't like themselves with fake confidence
Do you mean the abusive males?. If so then yes, they have low self esteem these abusers and don’t like themselves
Facts 😂fake confidence
Reality check for me, but I have noticed and have begun to check myself. This is the lowest I have ever been mentally, but through you Kirk, and platforms like yours I am armed with better knowledge and I can happily say I have begun the work, one of my checkpoints is my weight. Need to lose some in the middle because I am not comfortable wearing the clothing I like. I HAD BEEN TARGETED, thank you CONSCIOUS KIRK. The other checkpoint is never again a man younger than myself, because when they argue they go real low and bring out your age difference as a weapon of mass destruction to your self-esteem .
I second everything you say sis! 🤗
❤️❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾 I’m sorry you went thru this. Everything with get better.
I'm not most of these, but I am disabled and a homebody, pretty much, I'm an Empath that's why, but he thought my esteem was low, but idk why. He was a Narcissist and I'm not that easily manipulated , I just didn't show much interest in him, so he cheated, but he lost out because I'm single now & he's still in that Rabbit hole, being sneaky & getting absolutely NOWHERE in his sorry life!
Girl, I dated a man who was 68 while I was 40 and he tried to claim I was too old to move on. 😂
Find your self esteem ❤ and remember. When there is no hurt within, there is no hurt without.
Also... Be conscious of who you invest your time and space with. Time is something you can never get back.
Even if you’re healed, narcissistic people will always try to latch on to empaths.
Why is that?!
They see healed and strong people as a challenge and will try…once they try and realise the spirit is strong and can’t be deceived they act up and flee with drama…
@@ce5693It's because they know that the empathy possess qualities that they don't have and try to appropriate them for themselves. They might also think empaths are more likely to respond to their sob stories.
@@roslynhouston8037 responding to sob stories are my weak point
@@georginafronda496Facts!
I put this on my Facebook because women are so lonely, we out here accepting things we dnt deserve! Get some girlfriends, a pastor, a good coworker, whatever and listen to wisdom from them. Not gossip. Wisdom. And learn and take in what they say so you can implement the boundaries you need to keep your peace safe. My meditation room changed my life. Spending time alone isn't bad. You'll be surprised what you hear when your quiet and honest with yourself.❤
❤️❤️ facts
Jesus is our husband and God is our first love! This is where the "praying grandma" comes back. You're right, we need to be back taking care of our village and each other while following The Most High. This is the most necessary self care. Especially for black women
J
ATP IDC... I'm at the point where I'm enjoying being single! I do not have time to be trying to decipher all these different cues and feelings these men are doing & having. I am literally tired. It's too much. I've been single & celibate for 6 wonderful years. I love it! I took myself out of the shitty dating pool because it was killing me. I was giving too much of myself, now I'm not giving any of myself. I sit back and observe men now and think to myself...wtf was I thinking? Compulsive liars, serial cheaters, financially instable, poor conversationalist... I'm done. I'm convinced that they don't want a real woman, they want a mom!
I've been there too, five years single and celibate. But in Dec I got on a dating app for fun. I messaged one guy that I found interesting, and now we've been texting consistently since December. He's half way across the country but, that makes things easier. We don't have to rush into anything.
You're still missing the point though. You attracted these men. Ask yourself why and do the inner work. Good on you though for the 6yrs. How abt test that new boundary of yours by getting in the market n uphold it n see how things change around you.
Go on give it a try.
Many black men have mummy issues! They weren’t hugged , they weren’t told they were loved!
❤❤❤So very true!❤❤❤
are we talking about men or black men? there always has to be a distinction made. black men are their own category with their own stats that are different than other men & not in a good way. they know this that's why they love to hide behind the word MEN & equate themselves with men in general. but in general, other races of men don't have the stats that black men have. dating is always harder when you stick strictly to black men. your whole life is harder.
“you know I’m not that cute “ I just hollered sooooo loud😭😭😂😂😂😂
😂😅😅 😂 sounds like something similar to what I’d say lol
@@cheresecolbert2092 😂😂😂😮💨
@@CessLa2oya 😂
Some of these predators will chase you down and pretend well to get what they want. Yes, insecurities make it easier, but they don't always choose weak women they go for them all.
I wish I knew this before. I was with a narcissistic guy for 2 years 9 months and after a year 6 months he started being so awful. I lost myself and self worth. He manipulated me all the time and gaslit me all the time and I didn't even realize it because I wasn't high vibrational. I was weak and he treated me like I'm another girl trying to get his attention but I was not good enough to get it.
I haven't healed and yes there were some men who came around to try and get my attention but they'd do that for a few weeks and then just disappear.
Reality check. I really need to stay away from men until Im strong within myself again.
Thank you Kirk for this.
You and I both.
You are so right SILENCE 🤫 IS GOLDEN
It's ok to play games? Most men say I'm unapproachable and I'm glad
That's it! If the man doesn't want to change inside...he changes who he's with! Lightbulb moment! Epiphany! Thank you!😮
And that's it...predator!
👌👏👏👏
Exactly, well said
Right which is total BS. So instead of him healing, he goes from woman to woman, wreaking havoc and bleeding on the next. Being a pretender and liar. 🤥
You are so correct. Predators, not men, look for prey to abuse.
You play Jedi mind games you get handed a platter of nasty karma.😊
I say this ALL THE TIME….predators know their prey!!! And they don’t approach those who don’t play!!!!
I like that!
Well said!
And they don't play with those who knows how to pray 🙏
True facts brother my ex used my insecurities on me to dog me out😑🙄
Sad sad
Some men will come in and act as advertisements. They will present something they think you may not like about yourself to see your response. Very true. It's a tactic to tear you down.
When someone is abusive but pretending to joke I take my gloves OFF and CONFRONT THEM STRAIGHT- UP! I accept NO APOLOGIES....NO CONTACT thereafter!
Preach! I was warned by one that they even look for motivation posts or posts you think you’re sharing to be uplifting bc then they wonder if you’re going through something & you need that reassurance😳 That’s a vulnerability. I’ve know men who purposely target single mothers, low income women, women who don’t take care of their appearance well, & women with serious illnesses bc to them they feel like these are weaknesses & they have the upper hand. It’s a lot of food for thought. No normal person would ever imagine.
Yes they’re not normal. They will target a woman who is at her lowest point in life, through no fault of her own just external circumstances that have caused her trauma and prey. They have no heart whatsoever just a cold reptilian way of operating. Sick individuals who think they’re entitled to do whatever they want and it’s the woman’s fault for being weak. Trauma weakens people but these c@&#x have no concept or trauma or how their actions affect others and don’t care. If you try expose them they will discredit you and make you look like the villain. My life was ruined by one five years ago who found me when I was homeless and had been through so much and he took full advantage of that and then destroyed my support network
Interesting. To me showing vulnerability and compassion can just aswell be strength as naivity, so I have a different perception of strength to them and I want to flip the script. I do not accept their rules, that we should be scared and always be perfect and not bother them with any problem or worries. Im not buying it. I take behavioural guidance from men with a grain of salt.
Kirk,
Question?…
Is it the abuser that approaches women that haven’t healed, but a healthy man that won’t approach an unhealed woman?
Both ways hun.
@1:05 thank you for sharing and why are you even saying it like it's OK? Those males are disgraceful and should be ashamed of themselves for hurting innocent women who did Nothing heinous to them! They obviously do not love their moms/grandmas/aunts/nieces/daughters.
P.s. the measure of a man's greatness is how he treats others!!!!!! 🙄
BAMM❗🎯💪🏽💯
Most of these abusers/predators are misogynists.
Exactly how I feel. 🎯
I appreciate the wisdom you give us. It’s like having another bestie with the real 411 ☺️
What he is saying is common sense. As a person, you should know to remove yourself from a situation when a person starts to act inappropriately with you.
@@rosamaundallen1035Unfortunately, not everyone knows what's inappropriate. Because I grew up with two narcissistic parents, I had to learn this through experience as an adult.
Consider yourself blessed if this isn't your story.
I agree with your truth about physical abusers. I was much younger than my ex and out of absolutely no where he thought he could fight on me. I immediately told him with all knowing, that I pray you have packed a lunch and if you touch me, you will go to the hospital. Later his daughters told me he use to beat on their mother. I left him alone with a quickness
I told my ex-husband when we were dating that if he ever hit me, DON'T GO TO SLEEP! He never tested me. 😂
100% right abuser and predator the same 💯💯💯💯💯
He made many excellent points but it’s also scary/depressing how many predators are out there. It’s sickening.
My ex came to me when I was glowing and healthy and left me when he had ground me down
Like picking flowers. You are beautiful and they want to pick you. But after the flower is picked and withers, dont want it anymore. Off to pick the next beautiful flower.
That glow is serious!!
He said some people don't want to change. So all they can do is change who they are with.😮 Clever
This explains why all my first born son's gf's are overweight, single moms, and have ptsd from childhood trauma!🎉😮
You literally just described my entire life with men approaching me or rather the type of man that approached me and why that they do. You just spit so many facts in my face that it is ridiculous! I have saved this I have like this and I have shared this. But most importantly I will use it for myself and I will listen to it repeatedly because you've just given me The playbook on how NOT to get played any more😂! Thank you so very much
I’m very sorry this has happened to you. Wishing you the best from here on out. You got this🙏🏾🙏🏾
@konsciousKirk I most definitely do now, thanks to you my dear!
I really don’t understand your mindset. The minute someone starts talking and acting crazy, you are to remove yourself from the situation. Not stay. That is insane to accept abuse and mistreatment from someone.
@@rosamaundallen1035It's likely that someone will stay in an abusive relationship if abusive behavior is familiar to them, i.e., they grew up with it. It's also true that the abuse doesn't begin until the abuser knows you're invested in making the relationship work. The abuse also gradually gets worse over time such that you almost don't even perceive how bad it is until you one day realize that you're tolerating behavior you never would have put up with in the beginning of the relationship.
This was important to hear and it definitely also applies to some of these people we call our “ friends” also. Not just men
This part! All of it. I’ve experienced it with a friend , a 50 year friendship. I never saw it coming, but dismissed my instincts due to the length of friendship.
Be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour" 1 Peter 5:8.💖🙌🏾💖
Wow. It makes perfect sense. I experienced it all the time and I just thought I was just picking the bad guys. I am always drawn to self introspection/ healing/ motivation/therapy/spiritual work. I am currently single, still continuing with healing. Just glad that I can put this “find a man” journey to an end once and for all. Thank you for the insight.
This video is so eye opening. Thank you Kirk, this is perfect timing for me and I’m know realizing that I allowed myself to be an easy target. I’m officially out of the dating world now and I’m going to refocus on my healing journey and achieving my goals
This hit hard. This helped me understand why I keep falling into abusive relationships.
I talk too much.
I have always said this..ssdf= same shit different face...
I'm old school Kirk i an not on social media.
Most guys chase me for years. I'm not easy. I'm nice to ppl but not overly. I am a loner.. not a lotta friends or ppl in my life. So, i don't see how ppl see me as a target. I see how the last guy saw me as a target 🎯 bcus i had just lost my fiance and i had a young 5yo boy but he kept after me for an entire year so i decided to give him a chance. Wrong choice. Ive been singular and abstinent since.
This man speaks 100% the truth..
Our parents told us since we were teenagers, people test you sometimes with their comments to see if and how you respond to know if to take the disrespect further. They say shut it down immediately, first time.
This is so true!!! Been threw my whole life smh
Love the zebra and lion analogy. That is correct. If you share your weaknesses with people the abusers will take advantage of you.
Now that I have boundaries and I’m not interested in dating at this time so I can work on myself, I find that it pisses men off! The last one pulled out the gay card on me because I didn’t want to date a guy from his work. 😂 Men act like I don’t have the right to be single. Why is THAT?
You have healed and now have the spirit of discernment and they don't like that.....😊
@@xianerae No they do not! 😂
let me guess, black guys.
@@angelatriggered5561 Nope! White Guys.
They don't like women who are self aware.
This is some of the Best advice I have heard on the net for insecure women... When a man tells you the truth of how other men think, believe him.
This message is so timely for me. A man is playing between me and my sister, taking advantage of her past trauma. It's sickening.
This is very true. Notice, when you’re mourning a past love, how many people will want to comfort you… Wah!! 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️
Most men think U am soft by face value but once they get to know me they retreat
😂same here.
Give me tips sister I wannabe like you am a gentle kind soul by nature. And I see people takes me for a fool even friends because of my genuine intentions and generous nature. Am the kind of person who go all out to support people who are around and I see a pattern of people taking advantage of the person I am. But the more I grow up the more I see and realize who some people are in my life and when I get rid of them it can feel that am harsh on people.
Me too.
Where the hell u come from with these facts! Love it❤
What he is saying is common sense. Have boundaries. The minute someone acts inappropriately with you through their actions and verbal communication, you are supposed to remove yourself from the situation. Stop contact with them.
Your absolutely right the same man can act differently with two women
That's a point lady's note that
Imagine finding out your prince charming is out here abusing other women though. What kind of prize is that? Eww
They players get played !! Now he broke down and miserable
No they are cowards but what they reap they will sow one day.
It's not about getting into feelings too much--it's about not processing those feelings so they can have healthier, happier feelings.
When I heard his accent I knew this would be a truthful video about this subject.
Wow....that's very good knowledge 👏🏾👏🏾
💯.... a guy tried and realized Im not easily manipulated .... he told me I be too clean and polished all the time.... I said okay cool.... he tried all kind of tactics.... next thing he doing the most.... I locked him off.... he said I was being cold and difficult....😅😅😅😅😅 ohhhh okay cool ❤❤❤❤❤
I was that woman I can admit! But that was the last time that bastard was smooth asf. But by the grace of God I woke up
This is why I’m closed off and have decided not to pay much mind to guys 🤷♀️ I’m actually more relaxed being by myself
The zebra saying his leg hurt made me laugh out loud LOL!!!!!!
This is real talk!!!!!!!
This is an educational video for ladies from 13 to 99 years old thsnk you for you open my eyes widely.
They always have , but just know that you must end those types of relationships by all means.
This man is speaking serious facts!
Now you speaking the gospel truth.! I was like let me get on this weight loss journey before I get back out there because I absolutely knew!
Now I am ready and armed ! Was not going to go out there heavy only to attract a manipulator and they love it when you sweet and cute and fat a little bit 😂😢 #theydo
Whew, what a word. Most of us kinda knew this but you laid it out “blueprint.” Ladies, it’s beyond time to wake up. Entertain these men on “Your” terms. It’s time out for being played, victimized, manipulated by men.
Facts, Kirk! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾You never lied! 💯💯💯
women can do the same. especially to the ones who are playing, if you play with people you can get played too...
So ladies when a man tests your boundaries then let him do it 3+ times and let him think you have no boundaries and then slam him with it and end the relationship. Be if they do it once they will say they didn’t mean it. Let them do it a few times and throw it back in his face when you end it. Take all the emotions out and walk away. Then he might think twice about doing it with the next person. Sometimes you just have to one up their own game plan!
Oh my God! It all makes sense. To me you are a big brother. I just love to hear you talk. At my age, I am learning a lot with you. You give me confirmation of what I have already known as well. Thank you. May God bless you and your family abundantly.🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤
❤️❤️ thank you so much. I’m very honored to hear this.
May God bless you too.