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OBSESSING OVER A PAST RELATIONSHIP | WHEN YOU CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR EX? | SL Coaching
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- Опубликовано: 13 авг 2024
- #mentalhealth #stephanielyncoaching #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #selflove
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Tip No.5 - Don’t get addicted to Tarot readings on RUclips 😕
The Healing Heart dude same here lol
gracielas galaxy - Sorry to hear that. Every reading I’ve seen or had has said she’s coming back. It’s prolonged my healing and moving on by months and months. And then I got addicted to them. Starting to wean off them now though. Extremely dangerous. Hope you’re ok 🙏💙
@@CameroneProductions Thats the worst part right, losing hope is a big part of moving on and letting go for real but its the hardest. Yes next time you want to watch them maybe journal and come to the deeper reason we need affirmations of our emotions/situations on utube, hope all is well xx stay strong
😢
The Healing Heart oh my god it’s so funny to see this comment! I totally got addicted to watching tarot for like six months and I’ve just made myself stop. EVERY ONE of them constantly says, “They’re coming back...they’re thinking of you all the time.” And even though I didn’t really believe in it, it totally kept me stuck obsessing on my ex. And now I found this video 😆 🤷🏽♂️
12 Signs It’s Time To Say Goodbye For Good
1. You’re not happy. You’re always crying. You’re feeling down all the time and it’s affecting your well-being, your productivity, your energy and your mood.
2. Your contact is diminishing. If there’s little to zero contact then that’s a clear sign that the most important factor (communication) is missing and you can’t build a connection if you don’t have solid communication.
3. You don’t know exactly what you mean to them anymore. You don’t know if you’re a friend or more. You don’t know if they love you because they haven’t said it. You don’t even know if they like you because their actions don’t show attraction or admiration.
4. They’re not who they were when you first met them. Something has changed and something feels ‘off.’ Whether it’s a change in behavior or just another side you haven’t seen before. And I don’t mean minor changes, I mean changes that make you question if you may have misjudged that person in the first place or if they were pretending to be someone else to impress you.
5. You don’t have an answer when people ask you about them. You don’t know what to say anymore, you don’t know if you’re together or if they’re talking to someone else. You don’t know if you’re ‘dating’ or if it was just a fling and now it’s over.
6. You don’t really trust them. You don’t think they have your back because they disappointed you so many times before. You don’t think they’ll fight for you if you walk away. You don’t think they’ll protect your heart because they keep breaking it.
7. There’s more distance than intimacy. If your time together is short, cold, indifferent and feels more like an obligation, then it’s a sign that they checked out a long time ago and it’s only a matter of time before it ends. If you’re not growing closer then you’re definitely growing apart.
8. You feel like it’s one sided. You’re always the one making an effort, you’re always the one reaching out or finding ways to try to fix what’s broken. You’re constantly giving and giving and getting very little in return.
9. You’re resentful. If you’re carrying a lot of negative emotions, anger and bitterness because of what they put you through, then you’ll never be in a healthy mental or emotional state to be a better or more loving person because you’re still hurting from their actions or the way they treated you.
10. You’re still hung up on their ‘potential’ not on who they really are. When you really like or love someone, you tend to believe that they’ll eventually come around and be the person they’re capable of being, but sometimes real life is not that romantic and that person stays the same because they’re simply not ready or not willing to change and your love won’t always be the magic wand that turns them into that amazing person they could be.
11. Everyone tells you that you deserve better. If your friends and family keep telling you that it’s not worth it, that you deserve better or that you need to move on, listen to them because they want what’s best for you and they can see that this relationship is draining you and wearing you out.
12. Deep inside, you know it’s over but you just don’t want to admit it. At the end of the day, we have a strong intuition that warns us when something is wrong or when it’s time to walk away but sometimes we choose to ignore our intuition because we want to believe that there’s still hope if we try harder. If your gut is telling you that it’s time to say goodbye - do it - no matter how hard it will be. You’ll thank yourself later.
ClassicRock4EVER thank you so much for taking the time to write this. Every point is ticked!
😢😢😢💔💔💔😭😭😭
Wow...you should publish that.
How do you say goodbye?
ClassicRock4EVER how do you accept it? Even if accepting it, how to overcome sadness?
“No healthy relationship ends.”
Thank you 💜
Wow.
Healthy relationships do end... Many reasons for it.
You can’t fix someone. It’s hard enough to fix ourselves..Let ‘em go.
💯💯💯
Yes she ended up reeling me on one last time motel visit july 9...I found out weeks a month after last visit she was sleeping w young 30 yr old b4 motel visit!! He found out guess was hurt too he was done he was fooled as was I all I got when tried to hold her accountable via text was leave me alone so I walked away forever and it hurts bad but its finally over
Based on my experience, I think one of the reasons why some people have a hard time letting go and moving on is regret. Sometimes, it's really hard to accept why everything has to end when in fact you were able to have good times together. Sometimes, it's hard to understand why things have to end up this way when you were happy in the beginning. It's really hard to let go of the good times and many people wish how they could just rewind and go back to how things were before. We regret the moments we could've experienced if we'll only fix things together.
Yea..😞
Exactly!
I’ve never wished for a time machine ever in my life… until he left. I can’t seem to forgive myself.
100% accurate!
This speaks to my heart. Well said. These regrets do hurt so much.
The hardest part for me was accepting that they never loved me the way they claimed. They moved on so easily after 3 years! I was in a relationship with a narcissist and it felt wonderful and so powerful at times but the thought of it meaning nothing to them was devastating to me at first! But after about 9 months of internal agony and feeling lost without her I started realizing that if she never really felt the way I thought she did what was I really losing or missing? It wasn't real, it was me that created that love! I realized that I can do that again but with the right woman for me! So I am excited because I know I have the compacity to love as much as I did!
If I could like this post more than once I would. You almost exactly described my situation. Accept it was 6 years. And now it's only been 3.5 months since she left as though the whole thing meant nothing. You're comment gives me hope. Thank you.
My exact situation I’ve had a horrible day today you made me feel better.
9 months!! Wow I have a long road ahead. It’s been a month for me with my narc ex and I feel like I’m back to week 2. I’m obsessing..stalking his IG even tho it’s private, trying to figure out where he is. It’s sad actually.. all while I know he cheated and is probably with another girl at the moment. It’s been the worst month I think I ever have had.
HOLY SHIT, THAT IS ALMOST MY STORY TOO! I am sorry to hear of your experience, but we will get through this hell. Indifference is the answer!
Thank you for this post...
jfitz369 your definitely not alone 😥
"No healthy relationship ends." That's really powerful. Thank you.
" An obsession with the other is a distraction from yourself, you have to shift back from a he-focus back to a me-focus" quote by coaching Amy Young .
thank you stephanie for this great video, you made really good points to reflect on and it opened my eyes . I love your channel!
This is so awesome this comment. - Tammi
I love this! I was love addicted to my ex the entire time we were married (41 years) it was always about him. After he cheated & left me I still struggle with it. But am now more about me - focus. It is very hard to let go of a 40 year addiction- love makes you do crazy things!
Um. Thank you. I looked up her channel when I read your comment & just. Thank you. ♥️
ThNks for the comment, I’m stuck on my ex bc I haven’t connected with anyone else as much as him… maybe I’m only thinking of the good
My last one taught me to rely on my womanly intuition FAR MORE readily...though endings are painful they pave the way for beautiful new beginnings ♡.
My womanly intuition is pretty keen as well. The narcs taught me that.
@@revolutionismyname8226 Yeah? The players taught me a lot too :)).
@@saschaspring2198 lot of the lessons I could have done without. But its whatever. I'm good.
@@revolutionismyname8226 Bob Marley once said there isn't anyone who won't hurt us....we just need to choose those who are worth hurting for. Love is a crazy thing but it's the only game in town. xoxo
@@saschaspring2198 then if that's the case I'll just stay single. I done with being hurt.
When you love yourself, you take people exactly for who they are...
Great words. Thank You...
Sometimes it can be hard to forgive ourselves for staying so long tolerating what we did .
You described what is happening and has happened to me. It's so hard to let go when you loved hard.
Same here
It sucks man, going through it right now, 17 years of working hard to keep it going, burned, and turned in a moment, hard to let go
Same here at point that u think that is something wrong wit you bc you love so much
I know what you mean bud it sucks I think about my ex often Stephanie makes a lot of sense but it's still difficult
I heard once if you think of who you dreamed of when you were young that person would never have left you or hurt you. You are building up and mourning someone this person isn't. Let them go so you have the opportunity to find that person you were meant to be with. It helped me a lot. 💕
This is REAL TALK...forwards ever...backwards never....People who dont love themselves or their own company ...will settle for less...SELF WORTH is worth more than money in the bank.
.
"Are you being dictated by your wounds?" So true and powerful
There are plenty of good fish in the sea and your ex doesn’t matter! 🔥
I don't think I'm stuck I think I am more or less stuck on the psychology of them being one person for so many years my case for 20 years married and I saw glimpses I guess but I was just like I he was done & was getting so mean & trying to put me down , projected alot on to me. Finally divorced after almost 4 years..of his changing lawyers 3 times. He didn't even come into the same room or look at me in the eyes
Love yourself.
Most are piranhas or electric eel's
But there are also a lot of trash in the sea.
Sadly, there really aren't plenty of good fish in the sea. Healthy, self-aware/conscious, empathetic, secure, self-loving human beings do NOT grow on trees, or swim in stormy seas.
I'm generalizing here, but choosing your romantic partner is the single biggest decision one makes in a lifetime.
So, what do we do?
Do we spend a lot of time asking questions, looking for verbal and non-verbal cues, reflecting and checking in with our intuition?
Do we check out their family, their history, their track record, their personality?
Do we check out their friends?
Do we soul-search before we enter into a relationship?
The usual answer: NO.
Oh look, there's a rainbow over that unicorn!
But I do concur that your ex doesn't matter. Absolutely. That's how they feel about you, so we need to try and do the same.
This was a Really hard pill to swallow but exactly what I needed . I’m healing from an emotionally abusive partner and needed to hear this. Thank you 💛✨🙏🏾
Hope you're doing better now and you're worth more than you know just learn from it to benefit your future
I am sorry no one should ever be abused in any way
@Andy Vidito its harder than imagined. I was abused by a narcisitic and i cant sleep. i cant do anything, im consumed by his thoughts
There is a strong push in our society that being alone, being single, is some kind of fault. Not married by a certain age... you must be damaged... Not in a relationship... must be weird...
Understanding that you can be alright and single is a hard when the whole society is geared to being in a relationship and actually punishes being single...
whew, self love is by far the hardest 'mountain' I have ever had to climb...as is letting go of unhealthy and insecure attachement. dammit! ;-)
Same. I'm so bad at self love
one day at a time...hang in there! I believe in both of us! @@PearlEphraim
Currently in this situation right now , so damn hard
been there for 2 months now....you are not alone. Even though I know it feels like you are...@@josefmadrid
It is easy said than done!
Don’t get stuck in the story of “maybe/what if...”
I love that you said this "Is is possible to get back together, yes but is it healthy for you right now?" The answer honest answer is no, not at this time. I need to focus on being what I need first before I can insert myself in any relationship.
I so needed to hear this thank you ❤️ it's been five months since break up and I have been on one hell of an emotional roller-coaster. Your words have spoke out to me so much. I have found it so hard to let go and move on, despite all I have done to find myself again and love myself but I am getting there. It has been like one step forward and ten steps back. Nobody is worth so much heartache, especially someone who cheats on you. I am worth more than that. Hope you All find peace and get what your heart desires ♥️
8 months after the breakup, I still think about her even more and it's exhausting. We were in a relationship for 5 months, lived together for 3 months, and everything was great.
We broke up because she was smoking weed every day and smoking weed with other men in the parks.
A month after the breakup, she contacted me and said she wanted to reconcile, but she had something to tell me. She slept with some random guy she smoked weed with, and she slept with him just a week after the breakup.
That information destroyed me, knowing that she was willing to throw away all the good we had for sex with some random guy... How could she sleep with someone so soon after just a week? Even to this day, that information haunts me. I felt so broken and betrayed.
I'm somewhat struggling to move on from a relationship. Although, everyday that passes, I'm slowly getting detached from my emotional attachment to him. One of the best things in this video I heard is, No good relationship ends!
I agree I still miss my ex girlfriend
There are some relationships that can be fixed and don't have to be ended. Life is short and you shouldn't waste your energy to end the relationships that you guys spent time with and were originally good and can be fixed when there were some misunderstandings and small problems.
It’s easier to throw something away than to fix it. Thats why most relationships fails: a lack of commitment. A lack of committing to the relationship to work on the things that need to be worked on. Instead, we live in a selfish generation of me me me.
That's what I'm trying to do. To me, moving on isn't about deleting them from your memory or removing all chance of reconnecting in the future, but about having a healthier, more balanced view of your ex and the relationship that has ended.
Wow great comment. Do you have any book recs or past Greek myths or something on break ups? I’m stuck on my ex haven’t met anyone I like as much as him
Your videos have helped me so much. I was severely depressed after my breakup and now I'm applying everything you have said in many of your videos. I am so happy I found you. Thank you
Replaying those happy stories that were surrounded by immediate moments of sadness is toxic. Justifying their behavior toxic, and living in the hope that this person that has treated you so poorly will come back to you is a direct indictment on your own individual self worth. Wow!!!
Keep the good memories and disconnect energetically. And never look back. If it meant to be- u will be back together in a different time. If not-then not.
Thanks so much for this video. My ex broke up with me at the beginning of this month, 3 days before my birthday no less, and 13 days after the break-up he posted on FB that he is in a new relationship. Then I found out he even took her on a date on MY birthday! We were happily together for 3 years and 2 months. Had no problems, best of friends, everything in common. My heart is in pieces, but this video really put things in perspective for me. Thank you!!
That would crush me 😞 I’m so sorry you have to endure that pain. I hope you have felt more healing.
Wow that’s horrible I hope u were able to heal from that 😞
@@linabeans6328 thank you. It took some time, but I am doing much much better. Would even say I've healed. Hope you are good!
Hi, after over 3 years relationship, my ex proposed to another lady after one week of our breakup. Got married in less than 3 months and he called me yesterday to tell me that his wife is pregnant. 4 worst months of my life!
Your video really came in time!!! It made me in tears... I thought I had already let it go but somehow started to think of him today... Thank you Stephanie!!
I know sometimes feeling that sadness sucks but it is part of the healing process. One day there will not be any more tears. 💗
How do you forgive yourself for the mistakes you made during the relationship?
By trying to understand why we made the mistakes, what was lacking in us to make those bad decisions or behavior. Learning how to fulfil in ourselves what is lacking so we can except and appreciate our mistakes and truly using them as tools to be better people. Knowing we dont want to hurt or be hurt, and that building on these improvements will hopefully help build a stronger relationship for the future. Staying positive because we ll resolve to enrich ourselves from what we ve learned.
Watch videos by..mind that seeks truth and look for his videos on regret 👍🏼
I don't really know I relive those mistakes in my head and wishing I could fix them or at least have a re do
Michelle Cohen have a look at brene browns work x on vulnerability and shame
Tiago Thinks EXCELLENT ADVICE 👍🏾👍🏾
This is exactly what I am going through right now. My long-term relationship ended with a betrayal from a narcissistic partner who discarded me and moved into the same town with his mistress. It has been very hard to move on. Thank you for your videos. It’s very helpful!
Hope you're doing better today Laura. I had a rough day today.
I just started therapy after getting out of numerous abusive relationships. Your videos are so helpful.. thank you! 🤧❤
How are you k now?
Thank you so much, Stephanie. I haven't been able to sleep well for so many nights just because every time I work up from the mid-night, I just started replaying all those stories. From this moment, whenever I started playing those good stories again, I will definitely ask myself: what I want from a relationship and what I deserve. I deserve someone who cares about my feeling, who is able to be my company just simply because he WANTS to be...
Thank you Stephanie for your wisdom! I just found your channel as I am in pain from being discarded and disrespected. In all stages of the grieving process right now. But I made a BIG change this time and totally disconnected my phone number and blocking all communication. The Hope that i had by believing his words would diminish with his actions over and over. He is in his addiction of women and I deserve so much better and will take some time to heal and be the best I can be for myself, my kids, my friends, my family.
You have really helped me today!
Is it a bad thing that almost every video you produce speaks directly to what's going on in my life? LOL! Thank you for this. I really needed it. 😀
stephanie, you know what goes on in my sick,twisted head.
It’s been over three years, and I still think about her every day all day. This was such an empowering and true video! I’ve been stuck in this hole for years, filled with regret, and God do I wish we could just go back to the beginning. I’m so hopeless, I feel like I will never be able to heal from this.. has this ever happened to anyone? Or am I just insane..
Its happening to me too. 9 months since she ended it. I've started hating evenings and especially weekends cos my mind just won't stop.
@@JohnSmith-wo7ns you’re not alone brother.. you’re not alone.
@@TheRealSlimshadyyyyyy hope I never triggered anything for you, but your message is exactly how I feel. I hope we both can find happiness again.
@@JohnSmith-wo7ns no you didn’t trigger anything for me bro. And it has been a very long road for me. But honestly, I’ve done it to myself. Living in hope, denial, and regret has prolonged this so long for me. I’m finally truly working on my inner traumas and growing as a person, that has helped me exponentially. The pain will begin to dull, just don’t feed into the thoughts and negative aspects your mind will get into.
@@TheRealSlimshadyyyyyy I'm reminding myself how hard she was to get along with, how at times she was impossible, how I probably deserve better cos she really didn't care about me. But deep deep inside I know I want her to come back!! I know I need to accept whats happened but I'm not sure I can. You'd think I was a complete fool if you knew how she treated me. Thanks for replying I really appreciate it.
Every time I decide to click on your videos they breathe life back into me! Thank you so much for the gift you continue to give to RUclips!!
Thank you! Thank you! I am going to have to listen to this a couple of times before it sinks in but i will do it. I am 62 have no time to waste.
If that person is a narcissist, you DO NOT want to get back with them. Do not do it.
Thank you , I needed to hear this…”no healthy relationship ends” 💖✝️
This was such a great video for me. I was in an 8 month relationship that was on and off with someone I think was a narcissist. He discarded me over nothing a month ago and I am having such a hard time moving on. He had broken up with me in the past a couple times over an ex-boyfriend even though I swore that relationship was totally over - I thought he was just sensitive and hurt. But this last time was ridiculous over something a friend of mine said to him. It hurts so much because he made me feel like it was so real (I want to grow old with you, I want this more then you can know, you are all I think about blah blah blah the things he said went on & on) yet he is able to drop me on a dime. The good times were so good, that;s what makes this hard. I am saving this video and watching it every day. I really have to stay strong - he hoovered me once & here I am wanting him back. It's an awful place to be.
Thank you for this. I've watched so many videos, and this one hit a chord with me. Getting out of a two year relationship a week ago. My anxiety hasn't been this high in my life, this helped me refocus a bit.
Is 6am in Poland and I cry. I am going through 3 years on this all you talk about in this video. I am completely unhappy. Is very hard, I broke up, 5.5 year been together but I know is not what I wanted. 3 year passed since the brake up, I still keep in touch and hurting myself every single day. Is my fault as I am not confident enough. I need to listen this video once again to deeply understand more the view you light for us. Thank you so much for the video, keep going as we all need you here! Thank you and have a great day ❤️🇵🇱
I hope you fall in love again soon. Your a great catch.
Ma Szilvi Hi! I understand completely how you are feeling!! I too, keep in contact with my ex who is a true narcissist. I know as long as I stay in contact with him, I will NEVER heal!! We’ve been broke up for 2 yrs now but yet he keeps on texting me even tho he has a girlfriend. I’m working hard on trying to stay no contact! Hang in there & be strong!! Helps to have someone to talk to!!
lucy girl Thank you so much for sharing your feelings, good to know I not alone. Is very hard, I really hope it will pass one day as I know I loose very very valuable time which I could enjoy. Seems so complex this all that I feel only the person understand who go through this. From outside is simple but I don't wish these feelings for noone to go through. Thank you all your kind words. Chin up 👍🤗
j m Does that really work??
Ma Szilvi You’re very welcome!! I’m here if you need someone to talk to! I’m a good listener. I feel like it helps to talk to people, especially people that don’t know you & can give you some perspective from the outside looking in. I know how hard it is to refrain from having contact with someone you really care about even though you know they aren’t good for you! I’ve been doing this myself, matter of fact I had stayed no contact for 3 months & all of a sudden I got weak 3 weeks ago & started talking to him. And just like before, he stops talking to me all of a sudden bc his girlfriend’s in town. So Ive got to start the healing process all over again. Have you found yourself doing this too?Maybe if both of us can STOP talking to our ex’s & do this 2gether, it will give us the determination to stop altogether! Wouldn’t that be great! I’m going to be praying for you & fingers crossed that you will do this. I have faith in you even though I don’t know you! My gut feeling tells me you are a very good person!! Sending hugs your way!! ♥️♥️
Just wanna say goodbye for the last time. Its going to be my hardest goodbye ever because I still have feelings for him I always will
I still have feelings for my ex girlfriend also hang in there it's a difficult bumpy road
Beverly Kamrowski hey don’t give up? What if I give you a solution that can bring the both of you back to together?
Beverly Kamrowski I have someone who can help you with that
Beverly Kamrowski message him on WhatsApp +2347038106078
I wish I had found this video 8 months ago I've literally researched and researched like my Google and RUclips history is embarrassing on how to move on from my ex who discarded me, betrayed me in silent treatment and was a narcissist and yet I still love her and can't move on but this video out of the millions I've already watched has by far helped me the most. I can not say thank you enough. I know this video is 2 years old but from the bottom of my broken heart I want to just say thank you. I'll be rewatching this over and over.
Amazing video, know your self-worth and love yourself. When someone betrays you that's ON...THEM...NOT...YOU.
It's never your fault when someone treats you like you meant nothing to them...that means they are incredibly immature, self-centered, and weak.
You deserve better
This is exactly what I’m going through right now. Thank you for posting this and getting me back on the right track.
This was so helpful. I’ve been so stuck. Self worth. Yes knowing your self worth is the key. Thank you
This video is a game changer. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
Yoo what up
Hi! I found your channel a week ago, and found out that the guy im dating is a narcissist. Too bad, he was the second one. With the first one it took me 10 months to realize and get out of it. I tought I learned the lessons, but again I did the same mistake, it obly lasted for 5 weeks, and qhen I realized whats going on I immediately broke up. I look this as a sign, that I need to love and appreciate myself more. And even more. Thanks for your great videos, they teaching me so much. Wishing you all the best, and please keep the videos coming :)
Petra; I have watched many videos about narcissists, and was beginning to become slightly cynical - not only did everyone I had ever disagreed with look a bit like a narc, I was beginning to wonder if I was one myself. What Steph's videos have done is to draw my attention to why I have found myself drawn into a series of dysfunctional relationships - I can tend towards co-dependency - and that's when the penny dropped: rather hoping that they would change - which they probably couldn't, I probably couldn't help them with, and it wasn't my responsibility any way - I needed/need to do some work on myself. It sounds embarrassing - almost an admission of weakness and neediness - but its not: it's REALLY empowering. I would like to hear more from Steph about 'self-parenting', but she is absolutely spot-on when she talks about the inner dialogue we have with ourselves, and how that is the key to having a successful dialogue with anyone/everyone else in our lives. I used to be slightly co-dependent; I still am; the difference is, I know that now, and that knowledge is absolute dynamite
This video hit my soul. I needed to hear this 100%. I will admit I feel stupid for not realizing or even thinking about the important points shes made. Breakups suck but thank you ❤
The ONLY thing i want from the Ex is to pay my money back cause even if he would ever think coming back i WOULD NEVER EVER again get him back
Because i am awake now and totally dissapoint it at that person je was NEVER WORTHY
It might be weird but the thing I did for moving on is simply giving up on moving on!...I said to myself look I’m gonna do my best in college do my best with my family and I’ll let it as it’s...sometimes TRYING very hard to get over someone is just reminding you of them...stop trying accept your feelings and make yourself a cup of tea...and just like watching the clouds watch it pass by...feeling after another stage after another then you’ll see and find it all sunny ✨♥️👌🏻
Congratulations on 100K!!! And thank YOU Stephanie for sharing your wisdom and experience with us. Your videos have helped me so much through my breakup and to learn and explore so much about myself. Thanks in part to you and your videos I am growing and developing as a person so much, as a woman who dates and has gone through a breakup all your videos are so helpful. I am so thankful to you and grateful I found your videos.
May the universe give you all you desire and deserve in return ;)
As a guy I move on slower(about a year ago). My ex moved on within a month or two.
I wish them the best, trying to move on yet constantly thinking of her.
Thank you for your help.
One World Yoga so you still think of her constantly ? Replaying the good times or the loss of the future ?
Your good guy im wishing my ex was like you unfortunately hes not wow after break up 2weeks he enter to another relationship and the girl was a friend of mine too shocking and traumatic.But i wish and prayed still for them .
Sino mine did in almost 4 months after 7 years😞
@@taniawilliams14 why do people move on quickly
My ex did the same thing and he’s the guy lol it all depends on the person
Wow! I Thank God for you, keep sending the message of healing ❤❤
My “situationship” of a year ended a month ago and she was acting super cold and weird and I had to call her to ask if she was with someone new and she said yes. Wouldn’t tell me who it is or why. I tried to love her but it was just constant bad moods, secrets, selfishness, taking, attacking my character (reflecting HER hatred of herself on to me), rollercoaster emotions. The sex was incredible and we had an amazing connection but I was always hoping she would become more secure and “let me in” but it never happened. When we got close, she would push me away again. So fucking EXHAUSTING. I almost want to warn the new guy haha. I needed to hear this video because the hope keeps you completely STUCK. Thank you 🙏🏻
Listening to tarot sometimes is hurting me as I keep expecting my ex to come back .. and tarot readings on RUclips are so additive even though not everything good or bad resonates with everyone.
Thank you for this. I’ve been struggling with the thoughts of my ex. He was an alcoholic and he cheated on me. I’m worth more than that. Just need to chalk it up as a lost cause and move on. Thank you again.
Seriously though Stephanie...thank you for this!! I felt like you were speaking straight to my soul❤️🖤
You have no idea how much you have helped me.. and opened my eyes to see things I would have never or atleast had the courage to walk away from. The last part of that was just what I needed to hear!! Thank you heart ♥️ You’re such a blessing in my life!!!🙏🏻
good to know many people are dealing with this attachment , I don't know how anyone would dislike this thanks .
This was really helpful. I am playing the highlight reel instead of dealing with the pain and moving on. In reality, the relationship was very difficult and emotionally draining. Even though she was a great person, it just wasn’t good for us as neither of us were the being the best person we could be. The reason we met is that we both had something to teach each other as both of us were still partially broken.
What happens if you’re still in love with your first ex and haven’t moved on? It’s been almost 3 years and I’m still stuck.
You will heal and you will move on to happier and healthier things..have faith in yourself ..you are strong..god bless us all!
Mine was a 13 year relationship..ended about 2 months ago.. I keep replaying him coming back..but I'm doubtful he will also. I'm stuck and I hate it..
Moonturns Thetides my very 1st real break up (we were together for 4 years) and it took me 7 years to officially get over that man!!!....now this is my second real breakup n all my life!!!...We were together for 6 years and this shit is DIE HARD!!!....
Shelia Sanders I’m sorry. I go through cycles. We were together 11 years and it was my first relationship.
Its been a year and im still stuck eventhough we've only been together for 3months. I only want to move on and forget i ever loved him. Why cant i? :(
Congratulations on your milestone🤗 I actually have been dealing with the same topic where I take two steps forward and 10 steps back when it comes to a past relationship and feeling that hope so I know what I need to work on and I already journaled what I want in a relationship and my standards
I think this is your best video yet!!! Way to get to the point and tell it like it is!!! "A healthy relationship doesn't end!" OMG! Why didn't I think of that?! Lol. But I love the insight to say that if people use the experience ro grow, there's nothing to say that the relationship could be rekindled in the future. But one must come from a place of self-love and healed, whole and complete! Will listen to daily until I'm no longer stuck! Getting closer everyday. Thank you Stephanie! 👍🤗😘
This is so good. My “letting it go” is accepting the truth that my partner was dishonest about what he wanted, and went along with everything from day one to “not lose me” and I just never understood why he seemed so unsettled. 17 years and three kids later he finally decided to tell me he has never been happy and he wants out, and I’m left here in shock. I am just a mix of feelings, and I want him to have happiness & peace but how do I start over let this huge chunk of my life that was basically a lie go? I feel duped and angry that he couldn’t be honest and like it was all nothing now. And though I am not looking, how in the world do you EVER trust ppl again??!!
The part people are forgetting is even if you realize she is not right for you it is still difficult to break up because imagining her with another man sexually
That is the killer!! Its the worst feeling. I only hope she's terrorising him like she did me.
You are exactly right. Nice to hear the facts to be reminded and move on. Be honest with yourself, this is so important. Thanks Stephanie
Response to: Obsessing over a Past Relationship. Thabks!! i am a Mature Women and this is " Great"! I think You Really " Understand" about Relatuonships. And it is Great to see " a Women" on here giving advice. Thousands of People literally I think are " Pining" over an Ex. And trying to get them back. I am NOT trying to get Anyone back. But I have 2 Ex's who came back " as Just Friend's" and another " Ex" out there who is " Very Curious". I Used to have a Hard time figuring out " how to" get an Ex back even as a Friend. But My Ex's seem to get Curious. And I am a Sweet, Kind. Women. But Sometimes You Cannot help but to go down Memory lane with a Past Ex. And it can Really Hurt sometimes to realuze it is over. But Thanks for Reminding Us Women or Men that We may " Miss Out" on a Great Potential Partner in the " Future" if we keep looking backwards! So that is a Valid point. Another Good Point is as You said " to Know" what were looking for in the Future. And if an Ex comes back fine. We can maybe be Friend's . And like you said it is like a Job, You said You have to know what Your looking for. Good point. The Best Relationship I Ever had was at "17" Years Young. I Asked God to Please let me Meet a Nice Young Man with " Good Values" who Believed in God etc etc... One Week only and I was Invited to an Unexpected Party. And this " Very" Handsome Man from another Country asked Me to Dance. He fell " in Love" 1st..We had " Great" Communication. We were " So" in Love and So " Close". But unfortinately We Broke Up.. We Both made some Mistakes. But we were Honest about it. One time he Hid that a Women came over to Visit him and he began Dating her too. The Relationship Ended. But I do NOT try to get him back. It is Too Late for that!! Too Much water under the Bridge. By Now he probably is Married with a Family!! That was in my Young Youth. But I am " So" glad I atleast Experienced that " Beautiful" Unconditional Love. Thanks for reminding Us All to look ahead. And Not be stuck in the past..If an Ex comes back and says " Hi" then we can deal with that Reaiity if and when it happems..It is True that Low Self Esteem and Doubt maybe on " Both" sides. Maybe " Both" People feel BAD that the person appears to be moving on. Your So So Right Dear!! Life is Too Too Short!! I know, I had " Malignant" Cancer a few Years ago!! I Survived. But. were All going to Die sometime. If we Believe in " Jesus Christ" We will be Rewarded " Eternal Life" and one Day we Will Live Forever God Willing in Heaven. Also I Recommend Praying and Asking God to send the Right Partner in the Right time..But it is okay to be " Single" and to have Dear Friend's. God Bless. Your " Beautiful" inside and out. I did give a Thumbs Up and I did Subscribe. Please Make MORE of these Thousands of " Hurting" Bad Women and Men NEED to Hear this " Positive" and " Very" Intellegent Advice. Thankyou, Kindly amd " Sincerely"!!
Does watching healing videos keep you in the mentality that you aren't over someone?
If you're watching you're learning, which means you're growing. Also you're not messing with your uh r ex if you're watching videos. They also say the more you watch, the more you know and the better you can detect the narcissist and you'll know what to do.
I can understand why someone might think that.. it does bring you back to a place but I do agree with validating everything you feel whenever you feel it and then deciding what you want to do about it. That’s how we move through our feelings.
This is exactly what I’ve been thinking. Am I negatively impacting myself by watching so many “moving past the relationship” videos. Thx for the clarification everyone
Congrats on 100k,been with you since 38000!🎉🎉😘🎉🎉😘
Hi Debbie!
@@StephanieLynCoaching Jimenezbrianna347 gmail.com
Self love is great and all, but sometimes, people truly do deserve a second chance. We all make mistakes in our lives, and as long as we learn from it, I truly do believe some people deserve a second chance.
Very helpful! I'm struggling with completely getting over my ex. He treated really awful at the end by giving me the silent treatment. It was the worse feeling being shut out but I knew I had to end it. Your tips on focusing on myself and what I need will help me to fully move on and attract the right person for me. Love your videos!
Silence is truly deadly. He won’t reply to any messages with no explanation he just ghosts. It’s a hard pill to swallow
Thank you! I broke up with my ex, and said that we should be friends. He messaged me two days later, and it got pretty emotional. Then he made me feel like he was leaving me... and I felt like crap after that. I wish I had never replied to him that day. 🤦🏾♀️ I definitely need my confidence back... but it will take time. I'm in a weird place at the moment.
Jae Me Literally going through the same thing, I poured my heart out to him and it’s like he didn’t even care, I broke up with my boyfriend as well due to certain issues but I ended up blocking him after our last conversation just to save myself, like I want him to care but I can’t force him.
Same thing happened to me about 7 months ago
My narcissist blocked me on absolutely everything. Because I said I was going to out them. How do I forgive myself, accept she’s never coming back. And heal.
Paid hundreds of dollars for a therapist and yet this video is the only thing making me feel better. Thanks Steph.
It's been almost a year since she left me. I have two therapists, meditate, journaling, awareness and gratefulness exercises. Nothing changes, I think about her essentially the whole day, I don't get a break from these thoughts. I'm about to give up, for real. I just can't take the sadness and the hurt anymore. It's better not to be here anymore.
Good job! Your channel is blowing up!
Just ended an on/off 7 year relationship where we are both so stuck to each other & wondering how I can keep away for good and this video has been so helpful with that. Very well put. Thank you x
Thank you for these videos. They have really helped me get through the hard times with my covert narcissist ex. I have been work on me and my self talk. I have learned to truly love myself. Now I have the best partner that I flow with so well!!❤️ Ur awesome!!
this is really great. You are seriously on fire with this stuff, well done, great talk
Thanks for sharing, this is the exact push I needed. I've been trying to rid myself from the clutches of a relationship that ended 20 years ago that I thought I was over but realized I wasn't. Memories kept bothering me but because of your video, I to stop the replay in my head and remind myself that if we were meant to be, we'd still be together.
Very good video. Sadly, I was the reason for the separation. I didn't want it but I caused it. It hurt but I sat through this video as if u were talking to my beautiful, strong ex. Now this kinda break up, the one I see from my pov is a hard one. I didn't notice the things I was doing that ultimately pushed her away until it was too late. Like da saying goes, "U don't know what u have til it's gone." Anyway, seeing this video thru "her" eyes, was good for me. I totally get why she had to call it. I'm somewhat at peace now, if that makes any sense.
Wow. You are great Stephanie. So true...you can't negotiate desire from another person. So why waste your energy trying to win them back. Find the person out there who is looking for the same things you are and is willing to fight for you when things aren't going great at times.
I recently ended a 30 year marriage, after my husband got lost for a couple of years. Lost as in he was depressed about his career. Most of our years together had been wonderful. Best friends, and a deep love for each other. After trying to help him get out of his rut, I became lost.
I regret leaving him. A week previous to my saying I needed to leave, he came back from a week of being gone on a trip, with a changed attitude. I failed him by not listening. I could see and feel that he had crossed over.
I would give anything to get him back.
I'm sure he felt abandoned and betrayed. I have tried to tell him that maybe we shouldn't end this marriage and instead work to make it right.
Many people do and have a better relationship than ever.
I moved clean across the country. I really made a mess of things .😢
That must be very hard on you! 30 year's together, you must have thought very carefully about this decision. I hope you move forward!
After all the years of Narc verbal abuse I lost all my self esteem and all those things you described
Stephanie I love your vibrant, positive, cool energy.
im struggling with this ..my female partner of 6 years dropped me like a stone , no contact & is telling everyone im a narcissist .
yet she had total control .. when & where i could see her , how long for , cost me hundreds in cancelled trips , took lots of money from me , double standards etc . yet as the male its easy for her to say im the narcissist ! yet i still wish shed come back
This video is incredible, you hit all the right points. Thank you so much! This was a life saver.
I totally understand we had to break up. I just miss him. So I was hoping for tips to alleviate those feelings I totally know we were not right for each other.
This is exactly what i need to here. 💜💜
Thank you 💙💙
When your first relationship was in your 30s like mine, when you’ve struggled financially and with health, when you’ve been told by all your friends and others who say youre a catch, you’re funny and handsome and yet as a guy you can’t find an attractive woman or even whether online or in person it’s pretty depressing and very damn hard to move on. My ex pocketed me for the 2.5 years we were together though we had talked towards the last several months and I had been led to believe we would become public once I was able to meet her parents financial obligations. We moved from Melbourne FL down to West Palm and she had discarded not once but twice. After the first time was for a week or two in July and that got me to work on things such as being better with cleaning and being more active (it’s not easy with a very active ostomy). I even got vaccinated for her as I have Crohn’s disease and my doctor wasn’t quite sure if the vaccine would react poorly to the long term meds I would be taking around the same time. I stopped playing video games a lot and only occasionally and spent more time with her. I gave her confidence to do stand up and karaoke and made most of her social connections down there. Now she’s dating some shmuck who apparently is a snob, wanted to blow one of my best friends (in front of her) and a complete simp. She never celebrated me and even would joke when we would all play games that she would never date me yet she and I arrived together, and we would get drinks together and she would play footsie or hold my hand - but under the table. I’m so hurt, sad, upset and pissed about the whole thing. The new guy has his own tech business and has “potential” and even got to meet her family, something he didn’t want but I did and never got. He’s broker than me but he doesn’t have an ostomy (I’ve been working to get mine reversed since I first got it in august 2019) which had made it near impossible for me to enjoy swimming or doing many sports (fills up relatively quickly). My own mom thinks it’ll be hard for me to find someone while I’m still paying off my student loan debt but that won’t happen at this rate till I’m near my 50s. I’m so damn frustrated and can’t seem to focus on bettering my life, I’ve lost interest in my job and most hobbies. It’s been a struggle to do work (it’s tedious, monotonous and analytical), exercise (try to walk and or work out every day) and I feel so lonely. Most of my friends are in or on the cusp of being in relationships and so spend the vast majority of time with their loved ones. I’m trying to keep my head up but I go from deep sadness and loneliness to immense anger and frustration with people and life.
I am so very glad to have found this channel and especially this segment! I broke up with my boyfriend over a month ago. I love him deeply still. I couldn't handle the jealousy and I am finding out, the narcissism that he was bringing to the relationship. It hurt then, it hurts now, with every breath I take! He has left me twice for an ex girlfriend of his, but because I love him so much, I kept going back each time he asked me to. It was excruciating. It made me very suicidal near the end. He still texts me and tells me that he loves me which makes it THAT much harder. I want to RUN back to him, but I know it won't be any different. I know that he will never truly love me. I am so broken. Why can I not just remember the bad things he did? Why can I NOT love him anymore?? I NEEDED to hear what you had to say. Thank you. I DO need to remember that I am worth so much more. I just wish you could tell me how to turn my heart off.😢
Dear Angela, I wrote this to Troy Harper and then I read your note. Stephanie Lyn is a wonderful resource and I urge you to keep following her and those that are as generous and knowledgeable with this content as is she. This is what I sent to TH:
Troy Harper, there will be nostalgia. Please consider that it is not her that you are grieving for but the real grief of not having the future with her that you believed/wanted to have with her. You, me everyone deserve(s) the stability and peace of living without the "back and forth". I was "in love" with my ex and occasionally I get stuck like Stephanie Lyn says "in that hope" . "Back and Forth" relationships are not stable and are not capable of providing a reasonable happiness. This is only my opinion and I speak only from the opinion of a parent wherein I would never want my son or daughter to live in an unstable world of "will my mom/dad be here at _____" . Like Stephanie Lyn says, you deserve to be happy.
Hello!! I’m excited I came across your videos they are so very helpful and I can’t thank you enough
I had a jr high coach named coach verser
I needed this ...thank you ... fully moving forward 😊❤
Coach Stephanie..You are the Light at the end of the Tunnel.
-Thank you💜
every time I hear the words “Move on” it sends me back.. i’ve never been so coldly discarded in my entire life. “ i’m just trying to move on.” Her words reverberate even four years later with me…
I've just read your previous comment 😢
Hope you're doing well
This video came at a perfect time in my life. Thank you so much!!! 💜