How To Let Go Of What No Longer Serves You | The Mel Robbins Podcast
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- Опубликовано: 16 окт 2022
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How do you know if the thing you’re holding on to is something you should keep fighting for or if it’s time to let go?
Phenomenal question. I’ve got the answer.
The truth is, most of us never let go.
You spend a lot of time adding things into your life - new projects, new #relationships, new stuff - but when was the last time you subtracted something?
I’m talking about all the things you hang on to, even when they’re no longer serving you or helping you grow.
The stuff that you know is weighing you down and sucking your #energy dry, but you can’t seem to drop it.
I’ve got the solution for you.
I’m about to walk you - literally - through a strategy that nobody talks about. It will help you let go of what’s a pain or a drain in your life.
Are you staying in a job you hate?
Do you keep hanging out with that friend who brings you down?
Holding on to those too-small pants because you’re hoping to one day fit into them again?
As the late, great Pulitzer and Nobel prize winner Toni Morrison wrote, if you “want to fly, you got to give up the sh*t that weighs you down.”
By the end of this episode, you’ll understand how to start letting go of what doesn’t serve you to create room for #growth.
And, you’ll learn the two things you must let go of today.
Get ready to step into your new potential and unlock the magic of your life.
Aren’t you ready for that? I know I am. Let’s do it!
Xo Mel
In this episode, you will learn:
- How to let go of what no longer serves you
- How to use your intuition and energy to know what is meant for you
- Why we focus on what to add into our life vs. subtract
- How to know it is time to let go of something in your life
- What happens when you put all your energy into one thing, one person, one job…
- How I use energy exchange and intuition to spot the things that no longer serve me
- Understanding your fuel gauge and inner compass
- How resistance drains energy
- What reciprocal energy exchange looks like and how to redirect an imbalance
- How to reframe letting go as a beginning not an ending
- What happens when you use activation energy to launch into something that better serves you
- How to rise above the day to day stressors that are temporary
- How to tap into your values
- The importance of celebrating yourself
- What this season of your life might mean for you
- What the 2 biggest energy drains are and how to let go of them
Listen to the podcast episode "How to Let Go: 2 Simple Ways to Find Clarity & Move On" - link.chtbl.com/DAinFkFf?sid=e...
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What are YOU going to let go of starting today?! Tell me in the comments! Then please do me a favor drop a like and subscribe so you don’t miss another episode! 🚀
Mel,what if its mother sucking you dry. She is emotionally draining 17:07
Mel i want to talk to u, i am in depression plz help me plz 🙏😢
Mel, you rock! I know you're super busy so you may never see all these replies, but just know that we're out here and really benefiting from your words of wisdom and life experience!
46:45 I really needed to hear this today! I have been struggling with a decision to leave my very toxic and negative job (when the CEO comes and tells me how bad it is, it's that bad). I have another PT job that is more in line with my passion. This podcast made it easier to make a decision and quit giving it my energy and instead directing my energy towards something new❤. Thank you Mel!!!
Starting today, I am going to let go of the desire to receive from those closest to me who are struggling. I am going to focus on my values and continue to show up with love and support AND THEN give and nourish myself, surround myself with those who can reciprocate the energy I give.
Thank you, Mel. You are incredible and voice I need to hear.
At 82yrs of age and 34yrs of unhappiness during 35yrs of marriage, I grabbed that 'last straw', told my wife that I'm leaving and not ever coming back.
I'm now an 84yr old who's finally able to be my 'silly' self without being told to 'act your age'! I am 'me' every day! Finally happy every day as my days dwindle and happy to die with a smile on my face.
Your life is not dwindling... You have a new beginning... Now go and enjoy it.
I am so happy for you!! Go you!!! How amazingbypu must feel being able to be authentically you! Now go forth and spread that joy!! 😀😁 great news!!
William, you are so inspiring ! Thank you so much ❣
Wow, I wonder if I should do the same... glad you had the courage!
@@gloriawhitford7850 That move I made was the conclusion of our 'last' argument regarding compatibility.
Me almost 51, married almost 1/2 my life and I’m 2 weeks into filing for a divorce. I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m going to do once i get there but I’m not going to stay in my marriage and be sad , mad , resentful & all other things that have made me act out of myself and i refuse to be ignored, not put first , not receive any communication , any decision making, not included in marital decisions and not even our 25 th anniversary recognized even though it’s on his birthday. No dates , no affection, no physical contact, no time spent with me. I’m not going to be around to do that anymore. Nope . It’s sucking my energy & i can’t do it anymore. I’m going to be ok !!!
good for you brave one. don't look back. 🎉
My energy and intuition has been telling me for YEARS to get out of a bad marriage. I’m no quitter, however I deserve to be happy. I’ve lied to myself about my spouse changing. I don’t recognize myself anymore. Great message
Let me say something as I read your comment it's not about being a quitter it's about loving yourself to not put up with stuff my mother is in her grave right now because she didn't want to be a quitter when she should have left and walked out of that marriage a long time ago, but she chose to stay and be miserable. your intuition is there for.a reason That's God's speaking to us but yet we ignore it and we choose to live lives that God did not have in mind for us to live. All because we were afraid to walk away whatever the reasoning behind staying with someone that devalues you disrespect you just you losing yourself nobody is worth you losing yourself NOBODY
Same here. But when you try to leave everything breaks down cars furnaces washers dryers your health crashes and your spouse starts telling you all the horrible things they will do to you. How do we break free? Seems impossible. Plus financially who can afford $2500 a month for a bachelor suite?
Do you think they never change ?
@@uchennab4492 You make very good points, uchennab. And I love how you said 'it's not about being a quitter, it's about loving yourself to not put up with this stuff.'
You were never the one who quit.
“Sometimes the purpose that some people play in your life is simply to teach you to let go” yeah I absolutely 1000% NEEDED to hear this. Thank you Mel thank you thank you thank you!!!
so true.....
Same!!!
How amazing and liberating phrase...
@@elsoulitoYes..."🌞"
Yes{🧠&❤}Indeed❣
💯💚*🙏🏼
Agree! Good point!
Mel, six months ago my brother died from suicide, two months later my wife took her own life leaving me to solo dad our beautiful three year old boy. I’ve always been a positive person who strives for growth but obviously this dessimated me. In addition (airing dirty laundry warning) her family discarded us adding indescribably to the trauma and stress. I am now rebuilding myself and working to let go of a whole family for myself and my son and your videos are the ones I really value. I just wanted to give you immense gratitude for creating them and helping me find myself and my power again through this apocalypse. My son thanks you too! One Day At A Time!
Full Disclosure: This post was written from a self care salt bath. 😋❤️🙏
Sooo Sad to hear your loss.. Which country ur from? Pray God give you strength, peace and happiness ❤🙏Tc
How are you doing?!? ❤
Wish you well in your journey
Thinking of you and praying for you and your precious son.
Hi .. i dont you but Your story its amazing. .. after 10 years over someone who doesnt deserve myself i learn day by day to survive and get going.. i have learn a lot over a year .. working hard to pay my bills... now i have my litle place so cozy and free from who doesnt help me ... i moved also to a diferent city and am so happy .... ☝️☝️ am so in love with her advises...
I don’t think I’ve ever felt this lonely and scared in my life. Mel has become my friend that’s helping me get through this. It’s like she cares. And that’s what I need the most right now. Thank you Mel.
Your not alone I high five you ✋🏼
I felt the same for a bit until I started listening to Mel. I'm making room for better.
You can add some prayer. God is 24/7. Take care.
Wow she is talking directly to me thanks!
We all care! We all care and need care...just hit 40, single no kids/family... it's rougher than I realized. All I know for sure is how I feel is up to me. The biggest fight is with yourself.. and damn I'm a tough opponent 😐
Your awesome 😎I quit my job moved back to la, left my husband of 20years.. it was scary as heck, but I’m so happy I did it 3 years later I’m doing a podcast and I’m my own boss.. I did it Mel. 🎉
Love this! I’m truly happy for you! ❤
Btw, What’s the name of your podcast? And where can I listen to it? Just felt called to ask 😅
Was it hard to leave your husband of 20 years?
@@EA-dt8fh😊
Awesome 🎉
I am to starting my divorce after being lied to, lonely, emotionally separated and exhausted. Even though I have a little girl and a serious disease, I know that letting go will help my body heal. Power up💪
Definitely. Stress causes inflammation, and inflammation wreaks havoc on the body. God Bless you and be with you. You are in my prayers.
Your growing and healing, and honestly the healthier your soul is the easier it is for your body to heal. Your letting your leaves go so that you can be at your best to bloom for the beauty that's to come. Your demonstrating to your little girl the power of self love and self respect and doing the best for you. Because the best you makes it possible to be the best mama. Never stop growing and glowing in all your hard work, your doing incredible. Remember you taking the best steps for you is teaching your little wonder what it means to not only live but to love truly and deeply. Your doing amazing mama
Big hug🎉
❤️🩹✌️💪
I want to but I can’t due to my son's Disability
I remember the day after my dog died (had to put him down) and the girl at a Subway restaurant waiting on me had this amazing smile and was so kind. I needed it and told her so and she saved my day. Totally needed her sweet friendly energy that day. She came around the counter and gave me a much-needed hug.
That's nice to find such a compassionate person when you needed. ☺️
Very nice I'm not going to wait for a text might not come for days while. The man I have been seeing romantic ly goes to his ex. None romantic girl friends I will not waist my life or time. Thank you Mel 😊
Sorry about your dog. I love my little pooch very much. Hope you are doing ok
"Negativity vortex" 😮 yep
I can't count how many times this has happen to me. Thank you for reminding me that we entertain angels unaware, I believe constantly. For me it's after the moment has passed. Thank you.
62 years old; Was a caregiver for my folks for the past 10 3/4 years. Mom passed away and my father decided he didn't like having people tell him what to do any more and told me either I did what he wanted, or 'it's been nice knowing you'. He's 86. I'm the only child. Now, I could have stayed and been a doormat, or, go spend 2/3rds of my life savings in 2 months and take care of myself. I handed him off to the VA who hired some caregivers and I'm free to be me. Could have been smarter and taken care of myself first, but honestly, Mom deserved having someone there who loved her and wasn't a narcissist. I stuck it out for 6 months beyond my duty to her. It's not easy, the easy path is to cave in, but it's never the best path. Be true to yourself and your values. Never let someone use a lever like 'security' or 'comfort' to manipulate you into something that isn't good for your own wellbeing. Family will push your buttons because they know what they are. Don't give them that power.
👍😊💛
👍☝👏💪🙏😘🙏
I understand you. I took care of my parents for a couple of years ... at the end I got a lawsuit from my family for an apartment where I grew up and remained homeless. Those are all our lessons to grow. You are now finally free to follow your inner self and make decisions on your own. I would do the same for my parents again, as you did for your mom. Your conscience is at peace. We cannot choose the family but we can choose how to deal with whatever comes from them and people around us. A chance for growing is always there as a gift. Take care of yourself @Durgan and follow your dreams. It's never late 😇
Wow mothers are all the best we have here o. Earth congratulations you have got a place in haven 🙏🙏🙏🙏 wonderful heart ❤️
I took care about dad and three grandparents. They passed away and the part of my heart went with them. Now am supporting my mum. I am blessed with experiences I went through and am blessed with their love. Yes, it makes you exhausted and it is very challenging. But. I would do it always without a doubt. And imagine, my only sister showed up at heritage discussion to ask for equal share ignoring my investments in common properties. I could agree on half or go to court. I let it go. I was always less ocuppied by money and more by knowledge how to create it and somehow I always had more money than her. When you truly love someone, you don't do it because of real estates. It is not business to love and respect your parents, if you are blessed to have a normal family. I wish to everyone who read this to feel happiness and love ❤️
This is what I needed to hear. I go home tired, annoyed, angry and completely ignoring my child due to a job that has sucked the life out of me. So I needed to hear this so bad.
Mel
I found you right in time
Today was my wedding anniversary. We would have been married 13 year and together 16. I made the right decision about the divorce and God lead me to you today to get me through this very painful day
Thank you for making this video for the us who are brave enough to walk away and learn to stand again
Same…divorced from husband of 13 yrs, together 16…it was my choice to divorce, but still very difficult.
I absolutely loved this episode! I'm 76 yrs old. I loved the part about doing things with your values in mind and feeling I am a good person .. Thank you!
I've been a nurturing person since I was a little girl. I was the third in a family of ten children and the first girl. I helped my mother until I got married and left home. I did care for my parents in my home until they passed away. My husband passed away seven years ago. I am thankful for my good health. A few years ago, my household was full of sons who each one had their wives take off for greener pastures. For awhile, I was happy to have them here. Then I began to resent that they took advantage of me . I had grandsons here all summer but after three years even they
seemed a burden. I was paying for everything on my fixed income. Now I have only one son here who struggles with mental illness. He's working full time now. Now I look around at my house
that has been turned into storage unit with things everyone has left behind. There are lots of leaves on this old tree. I'm even going to get rid of all my husband's things that I will never use.
I have a new refreshing outlook on my life. When people say, " do what you love" I have to really go deep inside my heart to even know what that looks like. I think if I clean out the physical clutter in my life, I will be able to figure out what that might be. THX
you go girl 👏 x
Hi
You have to take care of you now its your turn
They are all big enough to sort themselves out
Except your son who is poorly
Clear your house of everything that you don't want to keep
Make a daily schedule for yourself
Eg 12 o'clock meeting friend
3 o'clock hairdresses
Make sure you go
Under no circumstances do you break these dates with yourself
Make sure your so busy getting the things you have missed out on that you don't have time to be taken advantage of.
I am in the middle of doing this
I was like you putting everyone first I have missed a lot of my life
It's not supposed to be lived like that
Remember you first from now on
It takes some getting used to but stick with it
I feel wonderful now I go where I want I do what I want
Best Wishes and I hope your poorly son soon finds out what he needs to get better with
That’s so awesome! Good for you !!! ❤
I think you can't even figure out what you love cause you have been giving and giving to everyone else and no one, not even you, stopped and asked, "what do YOU want today?"
It is definitely your time to just pay loving attention to what you want in each moment.
God bless!
You’re spot on! Clear the clutter and find time and energy for what brings you joy. There’s some great shows, books, and RUclips channels you can watch for inspiration: shows/ Marie condo tidying up- the home edit, book: outer order inner calm (& happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast) and yt videos on minimalism should point you in the right direction. Oh, and of course keep listening to Mel. 💕💕💕Good luck lady!!
Anything that costs you your peace, is too expencive. Love you, Mel❤️
Agreed ..xo
Thank you, well said ❤
Lucky you for discovering this early in life. Don't forget it as your Life goes on.
Amen
@@zoemarsh3Didn't realize this truth until I was close to 40, I'm now 45yo, and will keep this wisdom close to my heart for as long as I live. Wish I'd understood this in my early 20's, though🍀
I am finally inspired to take the plunge and let go of the husband who is sucking me dry!!! I have just spent 2 weeks at home alone as he is away. I see so clearly and your Podcast has just dropped into my lap - thank you 💜- that I really am so much happier living on my own.
I don’t want a divorce - but I do want to live alone again. This makes me happy. Then fear creeps in with all the negatives. But hang on self - I have been unhappy in this marriage for 9 fricking years. I want to do what you are saying Mel. Lord give me courage to claim the life that I want - for the time I have left. Love you 💜
hi...you are contradicting yourself?! you said you do not to get a divorce but want to live alone again! well...this is a separation or divorce! divorce is not only on papers but living separate lives and living alone! I guess you are afriad of the word "divorce"! perhaps you need to dig deep inside to find out why. Good luck🙏🌹❤
i had to let go of a marriage of 35 years. I moved out in 2019 and after i adjusted to the change and the fear, im truly the happiest ive been in a long time. My entire body was screaming at me, but i held on for too long. My Mother had a saying, "When the pain of where you are is greater than the fear of where you are going, you will move." The pain got to be too much. Things were never going to change....they still havent. We have three adult humans so we see each other occasionally. I always leave thinking, "what the hell was i waiting for!??"
The pain and fear will pass.
Loved this! At age 75, I'm moving from a small town with no relatives to a town & state that has lots of cousins, aunts, etc.. I have no kids, and realize now that family is important. I'm letting go of most of my "stuff" only taking my favorite things that can fit in my SUV. I'm happy to be so healthy & able to make the move, leaving any bad habits & regrets behind.
PERFECT TIMING. ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. Let go an 18 yr toxic marriage about 15 mos ago. Letting go of a one-sided work environment/boss of 2.5 years this week. All scary at 65. But this tree has had to kick those leaves off.
And what a mighty sturdy tree you are Debbie. Sending you an abundance of loving, prosperous, blissful energy in this new and excited phase of your life! You DESERVE HAPPINESS. Never forget that!
Go you!! Time for you to go forth and blossom without that toxic pesticide in your life. Amazing news... onwards and upwards!!! 😁😀💜
I love this! I’m so glad you did. I’m seeing all hope in myself now that I’m about to leave a 12 year toxic relationship as well. Thank you! ❤
You were looking for a job, when you found that one. Shitty bosses do not deserve you. Keep going! And dont apologize!
Brava
This video came at the perfect I woke this morning very upset. I hadn’t thought about certain people that really hurt me. It took me years to get over certain people and I finally thought I healed but woke this morning with those thoughts of those people that hurt my heart. Two years ago I had a heart attack from a broken heart. I thought I healed. I was good for a full year. But those feelings came creeping back. I do not want to hold on to these feelings. It’s so hard to let go.
Huge hugs of encouragement to you, Collette. I could have written your exact post! I'm having to let things, people, go- just as you are. It hurts! We need to put our energy into positive things that grow us ❤️
I have now begun saying that I am “ divorcing” the people who only contaminate my world. My relatives, my doctors, etc. We get one go round in life. We ALL deserve the very best!!
You got this, Colette! I think things will forever keep coming back just to check in and see where we’re really at with things. Mornings are my most vulnerable but I hope
you were able to 5-4-3-2-1 get your day moving right and remind yourself how strong and powerful you are! You already made it through it once and that was the hardest part, things only get easier the more you practice.
I’m so sorry! I am right with you too hugs
This hurts my heart to read. Thank you for sharing beautiful soul - Sending love 💕
After hearing this it makes so much sense my fiance kicked me out her house,i was sucking the life out of her with my depression and anxiety..im on meds now feeling a bit better,working,stopped drinking alcohol, smokin weed, working out a little bit,thanks Mel for pointing out i was the damn problem....time to work on me for once in my 48 years
Bro On Some Real life type shit ... Was it kinda hard given up the things u were doing that was Affecting Your Progress In Growth. Just Reaching out to thePosstive Words In thinking. Sorry to bother.
@@terripoe7137at first it's hard and miserable but then liberating
Wow. It's so rare to see people take responsibility for their own short comings. Good on you ⭐
I was in the same place. It is possible. Keep your head up.
@jeffp9091 ...you too my man!!.
Instead of feeling guilty for not moving away from things as soon as I should have, I see it as perfect timing. Because guilt and shame are the first things that need to go in any change.
So my family has continued our family holidays into adulthood., this is me and all my siblings. My parents have both passed but we've kept up this tradition for years. It has become so toxic and nerve wracking that I've wanted to end it for the past few years but felt guilty. Finally, after a lot of family drama, I've said I'm done. I love all of you, wish you the best, everyone enjoy their holidays, but I'm not coming. That was today and this video popped up. I had been thinking, well it's going to be weird and different not spending it with my family and was trying to think of things I could do that day to take my mind off of it. Started watching this video and in the middle of it a friend called. I don't have kids and hers are grown. Within minutes we've planned this wonderful get together of singles where we'll have a few drinks, play games and just relax and enjoy the day. I'm so excited. So thankful for this video and that it reinforces that I've done the right thing.
Thank you for sharing about your family, I’ve been going threw this since I was 14 years old , I’m in my 50’s now
And I’m the so called black sheep , I hear about it
Last minute.
get togethers after the fact or my daughters tell me .
My 4 daughters participate in this behavior. I refuse to go after I find out. They say I exclude myself 🤦🏼♀️
I refuse to go and be around family members that are fake
The tone in there voice is so apparent . The jabs
And I don’t filter ever
Im the one that starts drama my mother says 😢 They flip the script they try to manipulate Every time no one takes responsibility for anything , the passive aggressive behavior is toxic yet they say it’s me 😮they
Call me too sensitive . Because I speak on it , right there at that moment it happens
Calmly & ignored
I say to myself : JUST BECAUSE GOD MADE OF FAMILY
DOSE NOT MEAN THEY ARE FRIENDS✔️
Including my mother
This Thanksgiving weekend They all are in Vegas at my 2nd daughters home 🏡 I have 4 grown Daughters
Me : alone with my Dog .
It’s Sad 😞
Recently
My Boss/mentor my father figure my best friend 🕊️ just passed
After 15 years of being his
24’7 Nurse . His hands & feet loved unconditionally
Lost
I need to recreate myself
I need to STOP COMPLAINING
& LOVE MYSELF & REDIRECTED MY NEGATIVITY
THANK YOU SO MUCH @melrobinson God bless you
I am Thankful for you ❤️💡💎🔑🎁💜@lynsmith💜😊
4 months ago I broke free from 22 years of living narcissistic abuse. From today I am letting go of this feeling of not being enough. Thank you Mel for this inspiring video.
Wow! 20 years with a serial cheater and I need to be free from emotional abuse and manipulation!
I admire your strength!
55
I spent 9 years of not feeling good enough... 2 days ago I let go im ready for what ever feelings come and go to feel free at the end
Proud of you!
After being separated for 7 years, I got served with divorce papers. It’s been difficult for me to sign them and boom, this video popped up. Thank you!
I was outside exhausted raking leaves and God told me I give the trees leaves in the heat to keep the sun off of you to keep you cool and in the fall the leaves fall so that the sun shines through to melt the snow and give you sunshine this is so amazing 🙏🏾♥️ thank you Dear God🤗🙏🏾
I just sign to get my divorce process started. Praise God 🙏. I am done after 42 years. I am so happy and proud of myself 🥰💕. I love myself 😍❤️
Congrats!!!
Well done. Be proud of yourself. I am congratulating you.🎉
I'm scared. I'm divorcing , my husband of 8 months became verbally abusive, physically restraining, losing his moral compass. Of course I need to get away from the negative energy, but because of cognitive dissonance, I love the old person who is gone, can't abide in his behaviors. Need to trust the process, making room for the new❤️💔💘🙏
@@janm9610 Be safe. Good luck. Find yourself place to live first, before you divorce him. Safety first. Don't argue with him and don't warn him. Be safe. Good luck.
Breaking vows after 42 years must be rough. Dying alone is a real reality. Don't think this should be the solution for most people
I just let go of a friend - gave 199% to the relationship - no reciprocation. Moving on and excited about it in other parts of my life as well like letting my agent go
I gave up a "friend" who abused our friendship for over 20 years. Making plans, not showing up. Deception. Deceiving me and many others with half-truths intended to deceive. She called it "Playing make believe." The final blow was when she told me she would help me with the memorial service for my fiance, who literally dropped dead, rising from his sofa. She didn't show up, said she couldn't find a parking space. Funny, no one else had a problem with that. I cut the ties, completely.
@Elizabeth Claire that is sooo good! ☺️ Agent?
Thank you Mel , you say most everything is the way I have thought but you simplify it!
@@annahayes1007it took you a lot to See it. Wow.
I am letting go of the fact that my marriage is not what I expected.
The beauty in this is that the leaves fall, and nurture the ground. They still have a purpose. Your past experiences taught you lessons and made you who you choose to be today. 🍁
Millicomics Your comment is phenomenal and most memorable!!! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Excellent comment. We wouldn’t be as far along on our journey without that process.
Beautiful!
Absolutely and Most Certainly IS..."🎁"
*GIFT* & *UPLIFT*
That Was A 💯 *STUPENDOUS* Emphasis❣😊💚*🙏🏼
And after the leaves fall we can see more moonlight at night through the trees. We can see the rain and snow on the branches, including little ice crystals. A break from raking. And when the wind blows, it's just a little quieter in winter.
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be more fruitful, remain in me as I remain in you.” -John chapter 15
♥️♥️♥️🕊🌻💕🔥💯
beautiful tribute
Love it
Amen
Amen, thank you Jesus ❤
I have attempted to meditate many times in my life and prior to this CD the only success I've experienced is with live guided meditation. ruclips.net/user/postUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq This is the first CD I've used that cuts through my unmedicated ADHD and enables me to truly relax and experience a quiet and energizing interval. The instructors voice is very soothing and pleasant to listen to. I am easily able to sit successfully through the entire CD, and for quite some time after. I cannot adequately express how tremendously helpful this CD has been on my spiritual journey!! Two thumbs up and 10 stars!
Even having contacts on my phone dysregulates me if they're people who don't honour my sovereignty. Once I delete them (it can be a long journey to give myself permission to do this) I feel a huge sense of relief, spaciousness and freedom 🧡
great! and delete any photos of those people too.
I used to be part of a trio of friendship until one of my best friends died in March. The remaining two of us have been trying so hard to put our friendship back together ever since, but your podcast showed me it’s time to let go. The trio will never happen again. My other friend and I moved further away from each other so now it’s just really hard to get together. I need to stop idealizing the friendship and let go so I can make space for new relationships. Thank you again for always meeting me where I’m at.
You're absolutely correct. If you guys are meant to cross paths later, it will happen!
Losing a best friend is very difficult, I have lost my best male friend who died in March of 2016. And my best female friend in August of this year. She started dating a guy she met 6 months ago. I knew her almost 11 years she never gave me a chance to have a relationship with her. Both very difficult to endure. So I hope, and pray that I'm beginning to see there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And that good people, and things will come to me that I know I am very deserving of.
I’m so sorry for your death of a friend. I hope you find peace 💫
Life is an evolution, I no longer have the friend I had for almost 40 years. I needed to let her go, her toxicity was taking a toll on me.
You are amazing. You have helped me grow so much.
When she said: “because you are meant to hear it now” it gave me chills. I felt she was speaking to me, because I really need to hear this podcast..!! ❤❤❤
Same feeling! This is much needed after last week career major dissapointment. Thanks!!! 💚🙌
Me tooooo!
Same. I paused the video to see if this was posted today because I thought I had viewed all of Mel's content... its weird I had never seen this video. 2 hours ago I, for the first time, spoke to my therapist about sexual abuse I went through as a child... and now, it's time to understand it wasn't my fault and let it go. This truly is for everyone who sees it at exactly the perfect moment ❤️
I've just seperated from my partner, moved into a, new home, starting from scratch. Feeling so low and I cannot say how much I needed Mel's words today.
Same here girl, it’s scary but listening to Mel makes it better.
Yes, girl yes. Your post brought tears to my eyes. One foot in front of the other. We can do this.
YOU can do it...have faith in yourself, my friend! 🙏🌹❤
This is me now, I found Mel just at the right time. I'm doing things now I didn't know I was capable of
Io. Cc
My tears are flowing.. you said exactly what my intuition has been telling me but I didn’t want to listen… I can let go.. it hurts but I’m allowing this to suck all my happiness from me.. I must STOP.. Thank you
This woman is GOLD, just as much as dr. Ramani and Lisa A Romano - they are saving my life. I've been trapped in a narcissistic relationship for 17 years now. I'm braking free bc of these women, thank you🙏🏻✨💝
Oh my goodness, I feel for you and am so happy that you’re breaking yourself free from the abuse! I divorced a covert Narcissist after 23 years who alienated me from my children all while undergoing neck and back surgeries! I hope you get out of your situation fast- use your strength and keep helping yourself- You’ve got this😊 Melanie Tonia Evans is who I first found and put a name to what I was going through and offered so much support and real help through her videos (free) she is really awesome , has a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program ($) which is so good and might be worth you looking into and lots of free helpful videos here on RUclips 😅 Best wishes
it's wonderful that you're breaking free, the further and longer you separate yourself from the abuser, the more clarity and calm you will have. Stay strong and be gentle and kind to yourself - accept that there will be days that you may feel a terrible sense of loss, sadness, anger ...so many emotions - then open your closet door where you've hung a message/poster board that has kind words, motivation, dreams and reassurance of the amazing life you are creating for yourself. The great things that await you - look forward to the rest of your life like it's Christmas Eve. x
certain things as bad as they are/were, we had to go thro' them for our and everyone else concern. the net we in is so widely connected .. eveery experience was intimately planned with you .
Kudos darling for being brave and walking away from that abuse! Nobody deserves that! I’m here if you want to talk!! 💫🩷🌹💫🌪️🙏😇
Awesome
I've been inspirid to let go of "friends" that didn't help me at all when I was passing throught a lot of dificulties at the same time. Even when I asked emotional support, some one of them just completetly ignored me, because they were too busy with their all lives.
I've done the same. They don't deserve me
I have gotten rid of a couple of toxic friends after the guilt subsides it is wonderful! Thanks, Mel.
Me too. I finally realized that after years of always being the giving friend, they were never really there for me.
I quoted you in my journal! Thank you. …”after the guilt subsides, it is wonderful!” So needed that. Onward, to wonderful!
I have let go of a failed long-term relationship and let go of questioning myself & doubting myself. I feel more energy 🎉than I’ve felt in years. I’m in my late 60’s and choosing new paths for my life. Thank you Mel !!
Contemplating the same thing.
I would say the first step to financial success is overcoming fear of all kinds, I was able to understand the psychology behind trading and better my skills in the financial market all thanks to mr Robert David
You’re right my friend, his teachings are unmatched and his trading skills are just impeccable, investing with him has been one of my best financial decisions
When I got introduced to Robert David , I doubted the capability of his skills but just 6 months of investing with him I’m $28000 richer
It’s easy, just follow him on
*instagram*
@ Robert David Trade
Robert David Trade is gaining popularity every day, I am not surprised, good works attracts accolades 👍
Letting go of my relationship. We broke up 2.5 weeks ago. She was depressed and our lives had changed with distance and new jobs. I cared and listened to the point where i couldnt anymore, and started trying to fix her rather than letting her be her. She left me when I should have let go way earlier. Thank you for this, God sent me a blessing for sure
Hope you are doing well. Splitting up is a tough journey but in the end it’s a beautiful opportunity for growth and a much happier life.
My life as an educator is what I let go of. I resigned a month and 9 days ago with no job lined up. I GAVE myself the resignation as my 54 birthday present. Having Mel in my life allowed me to LET GO listening to her words of wisdom, kicks in the ass, and expressions of love at the end of each podcast is the light I was searching for ❤
Congratulations, Caroline!!! 🎉🎉🎉This profession is the epitome of a job that causes burnout! I’m having trouble cutting this cord but know I need to. This will be the last year. Best of luck to you in this next phase ! Hope you can enjoy it to the fullest!! 💛
Mel, I don't know how to thank you😊. I'm currently in my first job as newly qualified nurse in London. I've had a hell of a start, very stressful and anxious. I was complaining on a daily basis to myself, sometimes to others, about my difficulties as a new starter. Now I know why I was so drained and defeated, worried about every little thing, I brought this into myself by negative thoughts and constant complaints after almost every shift at work. You've helped me realise that I was creating this negative energy around myself, and it is dragging me down with it. Monday is a new start. Thanks a lot😊.
After 10 yrs of feeling unloved, rejected and an awful person by members of my family and chasing them begging them to love me and my son who has learning disabilities, after going from a police role, to midwife role to a clinical hypnotherapist role to yoga....jumping from jobs, and lots of education seeking approval from people....THIS podcast shows me I am worthy. I am a good person. I will not chase people to love me when I get no reciprocal relationship in return. I deserve better. I will no longer feel guilt for not trying hard enough. I have tried for over 10 yrs and wasted energy. In return after domestic abuse I have an autoimmune disease which im told can be linked to chronic stress and PTSD. So THIS podcast has saved me. Saved me time. Energy. And i now have self respect to let go even if they are blood relatives. I may never hear from them again but I can say now Im free from negativity. Finally. Thank you Mel. Xx
Letting go of a toxic relationship and moving to a new city for a fresh start. Working on my co dependent tendacies and learning to live alone again after many years.
Good luck Wendy. That’s very brave. I hope you’re proud of yourself. Love from Australia 🇦🇺
@@judymiller8831 thank you!!!
My bestie of 30 years let go of me. I was recommended your podcast by another friend during my struggle with getting dumped. While she chose to let go, I've come to realize that I needed to let go of her. My bff, my sister ... and I've found peace and energy. Thank you for all you do Mel!!
Hi Mel, thank you. Been listening the last few months. The last 2 years I have worked at Sam's Club. Prior to that I was a dental assistant for the same dentist for 23 years! After he retired, I took care of him til he passed. Then proceded to try to work at 3 different dental offices...I got fired 3 times! I had never been fired before, 3 times in a row, destroyed me! I have ptsd from being fired! So today (after 2 years of Sam's Club) I have an interview to be an oral surgeon assistant! I had an anxiety attack just trying to apply on indeed! Finally, after 3 days of going on indeed, I finally applied. They called for an interview. Today is the day for change and I am scared shitless! But I am moving thru the fear and I have you to thank....now I just have to land the job!
I swear the Universe communicates messages via RUclips. Really needed to hear this today Mel. Thank you.
Haha
I served my last purpose to someone yesterday! Been almost 4 months giving away everything...money, focus, love, attention, future, all of it. But at the end I know that I have already served my purpose....there is no way I can hang on any longer without any reciprocating efforts. Adios Elle!
I have no contact with a situationship that i’ve been with for 8 months. My intuition didn’t feel right but i ignored it bc i thought it would just be my nerves. Keep in mind he is my first one ever even my first date and he literally is from the outside and his hobbies and everything together my dreamboy. He checked off everything on the list besides feeling a real connection and checking off my intuition. He is my twin flame for sure but on the phone we could talk for hours but in reallife it’s been so awkward and i felt so forced to start a conversation and was before the date began wondering what i should say to him to be able to talk about something. But he has so much in common with me and bcs he is literally the boy i’ve always dreamed of and a good man it’s really difficult to let him go.. even tho i think i need to. But the thing is he MAY be the one but if i let go i could miss that 😢
Im letting go family that has a pattern of secrecy and being inauthentic in it and projection since the dawn of time. I want honesty, straight forwardness, full disclosure and authenticity, safety to be me!. Im letting go a huge Part of myself that people pleased the shit out others playing small game instead of putting attention and value to myself, it was to keep the peace and no longer works. Lets break these patterns and live the truth Woot Woot!!!
Leaves actually make new soil once they fall. This soul feeds the trees, protects the roots, and become leaves again.
Just saying…Nature is genius. Humans try to control nature…
Love the metaphor Mel! 🎉
Where did this lady come from? She’s brilliant and relatable.
Zero guru ego.
She’s got my ears.
Thanks👌
She is the best.
Letting go of worrying about the future and wishing that I could change past financial and relationship mistakes. Today is March 30th, 2024 and i am with my 3Ms and 1M in spirit.
I'm going to take the 24 hour challenge, because many people say I complain too much. Thank you Mel. I liked how you went from putting yourself down about the mountain walk to encouraging yourself and how it was an ah ha moment when you realized you were encouraging yourself.
Has it gotten better for you?
21 minutes into this podcast, I am almost in tears. I'm a senior that was widowed several years ago and have a craft that I work on several times a week. I've been doing this for about 20 years. I guess I always kept things neat for my wonderful husband, but right now, looking around my dining room area, there is such a HUGE mess. I keep buying supplies, rarely getting rid of any. I don't put things away, because I use the (scissors, glue, paper, ink and rubber stamps) so often. I'm almost tempted to donate most of the supplies! I love making greeting cards and sending them to seniors on a FB group. I know there's a message for me, so instead of complaining about the mess, I need to really push myself to clean up and donate, ugh.
Virginia check out the Dreambox and other versions for organizing.
This Episode made me emotional because I tend to forget that letting go is important to grow in life. No matter the situation. I’m learning this now.
It’s tough. Here’s my story. I had a good buddy who turned out to be my best friend. I ran into a girl he had dated and was with for a long time. I knew he was hurt by her when they broke up. She didn’t ask about him but I made sure I brought him up and made it a point to let her know how great he was doing (because he’s my boy). At the time I was with a girl, for five years actually. I thought we’d be married. My buddy witnessed our entire relationship and was right there when she ran off and left me on a beach in the middle of the night. We were in our early twenties, now we’re in our early fifties. I moved away to start and finish a career, he’s still back home working. After nearly 27 years he runs into that girl who left me on that beach and her husband (the guy she left me for) at a party. A month later on a visit he tells me that he saw her. He tells me that she acted snobbish and mentioned that she didn’t look that good. He said he had to approach her. I assumed he’d mention me, the success I’d had, my beautiful wife, that I retired early, ect, why, because I am, was, his best friend. He didn’t say shit. I didn’t care at first but when I started to analyze the last 15 years of our “friendship” I realized it hadn’t been what it was for a long time. There was a time when I saw or spoke to him every day. We were in a band together. I was the only one of his friend his parents liked. We traveled together in our thirties. The last time I saw him he told me, unsolicited, that she got divorced (predictable, who cares). I took the opportunity to tell him how I felt about him not mentioning me and that I did better for him when the coin was flipped. By then I think it was too late. I’d invited him to stay at my cabin, to my dads birthday and other events since then and he’s declined. I’d been in Thailand for six months and suggested we meet for lunch when I had returned to the states. He agreed, then cancelled at the last minute. I guess my point is, when you look back at friendships sometimes you see things you missed and maybe these people didn’t hold you in the same regard as you held them. I’ve decided to let go 😑
I'm not sure if I understood your whole story, or how you handled telling him that your were upset that he didn't mention you. But not everyone is the same, perhaps he didn't think of bothering bc he knows how well you are doing, and when someone is very happy, they don't need to rub it in someone else's face. My point mainly is that I don't think he did anything wrong, but I understand that you could be disappointed by his inaction. So if your delivery was harsh, I could see how have felt unappreciated as a friend, bc it sounds like there was a lot of other good things in ur friendship 😊😊😊
Well, maybe, maybe not. I’ve still not heard a word from him. From mutual friends I hear he’s in a mess with a woman that I told him three years ago to be careful with. They don’t get any reciprocation from him either. There’s one thing I remember him saying in 2019 when I was reliving the drama I had 30 years earlier with that girl. He said “It really wasn’t that big of a deal in my life” That pretty much says it all. It’s a tragedy but I’m giving my time to those who have time 🤷♂️
I went through the process of letting go of my job and today is my last day. It took me 5 years to get here and the last few months I realized that I’ve served my time here, it was a great run, but it no longer serves me and I no longer serve it. Thanks Mel for this message because letting go is not easy when you’ve invested so much in it, but your energy and your action will let you know when it’s time to let go. 😊
Thanks soooo much for this ! Just the right message for me at 60 years old to separate from a job of 33 years that I should have released 20 years ago. I was scared but now I'm excited ....still some waves of panic but I'm sinking into a level of comfort I never thought possible. I'm saving this to my Playlist. Blessing to you and yours and all that you do xoxo ♡
@FortnersGarden A year after being at my current job, a co-worker said. "Don't waste yourself here" Twenty years later...and I've done just that. Prayers for you my friend...💜
It's been a year since I started working on myself and learning who I am let alone what I love to do. I'm Learning to love myself and I am realizing that I'm a good person. These videos are how I am learning to heal from narcissistic abuse 47 years, so I guess that it's ok to be confused, scared, and sometimes fill stuck. After all is a process. I just want to be the strong , confidence person I was born to be. Thanks for all these videos. 🙏💕🔥
Mel , I’m sooo grateful i found you sister. i turned 57 yesterday, i live w a narcissist- my life is so jacked up & your blessed information & words of wisdom are helping me so much. Thank you young lady! Don’t ever stop being you. 💪🏼😁🤘🏼
Mel, ive lost my husband the very beginning of covid.. buried him on 3/13/2020,,And everything was shut down the next day..He passed of covid an the perfect storm...no health issues prior...that being said...Right now listening to u im in massive explosive crying ...cause this is all me...I havent let go for the past 2 an a.half ish years....Dear God ,this msg is for me...but the hard part is THE LETTING GO!!!
❤❤
The hard part is letting go. It takes time for sure. 🙏
best wishes to u
Prayers to you as you navigate through grief. I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband.
Love this lady
Energised me
36 years of marriage
Thinking of letting go
May be no divorce yet bt detaching myself emotionally from him completely
This marriage draining me dry
I have it all yet I have nothing
Always complaining over things Hsbnd do
Last 15..20 years having negative thought on marriage
So sorry your going through this, I feel your pain was married for 41years, I did everything to save it but finally realized "it's not my marriage that needed saving it was ME" that's the best thing I ever did, I empowered myself 🦋
First let me say, i'm sorry that you're going through this because i know exactly how you feel. I'm in a very similar situation, my hus complains abt everything. I have come to the conclusion that some people are never happy or what you give or do is never enough.
I love that analogy of the trees pushing the leaves off. That is beautiful. I needed that. Thank you for this talk. 🙏🏾
Yes. One of us (the tree or the leaf) is gonna die!
I always feel guilty about letting things go, and wonder whether I made a mistake. I tend to let things go a lot. Thinking about what Mel is saying about negative energy, exhaustion, stress….and how things/people served a purpose at the time, makes me realise that I was right to let a lot go. What I need to work on, is how I do it. To be careful not to burn bridges unnecessarily by leaving on a bad note. Also, to think about what outcome I want, and to consider whether I do actually want them in my life, and should try to communicate my needs first to see if a situation can be fixed.
I let go of a man and it has been easy ,as i refered to my love for myself ,values, self esteem and so on , Thanks.
Just what I needed to hear. A waterfront property just went up for sale 30 miles away. No good memories in my current house. Praying people, please pray for wisdom making this decision, and God's hands to make a way, if this is his will.
this morning i woke up and heard gods voice saying "just let it go, if its meant for you it will come back", and tonight i got this recommended! thank you for the amazing episode ❤️
This is my first time here an my relationship of almost 18 years has ended..He became so cold an distant..I was not allowed to express my feelings or he would get angry ..I begged for attention an affection..Crying n my heart broken.. He didnt care..I became so lonely an emotional..I thought he was my soulmate..I gave him everything i had to give..All I wanted was to feel loved an needed.. He became addicted to porn an would ignore my needs as a woman..this is so hard ..i. Know i need to let go…
You made me realize I don't need someone else to create ENERGY...
I create my own positive energy!!
Thank you!!
Letting go is such sweet sorrow. But you know when it's done. It may take some time for everything to click, but when you allow it to happen, the world opens up. It's quite a ride!
I was in immigration updating papers today and there were negative people there who were challenging and this podcast helped me rise above the vibe and stay in my lane. Thanks Mel.
Rain fall plus power
OMG, the tree analogy is so spot on. I wish I would have figured that out earlier to have removed myself from a toxic relationship much earlier. But you learn & move on. Now I take that wisdom with me.
I really enjoyed this. I am at the moment preparing to leave my partner of 6years. He knows, I told him yesterday. He is the leaf Mel you were talking about. I have reached the peak of the mountain in my relationship and I cannot go any further. You need to love, Care & cherish yourself as you would someone you love BUT as you rightly said Mel if you are not getting it back where do you go. I have decided where I am going & I am turning on to a new path to start over, just me & my 2 beautiful Golden Retrievers, Me & My Girls. Thank you Mel. XxX
Fantastic! Good for you, that’s powerful
I need to do the same
Good to read this
Thank you 😊
Mel you were correct, I was supposed to hear THIS message today. This was perfect timing with the things I am dealing with in my life. Letting go of relationships are hard ... letting go of this current relationship has been extremely hard but I must move forward to protect my mental and physical health. I am reminding myself daily that the reason and season for the relationship has ended and I appreciate the lessons that I have learned from it ...
I right there too!
I’m currently going through the same thing!! It is so difficult to move on from a toxic relationship!!! We want to strongly believe that person will value you, but now I see that person will never value me! The constant insults, put downs, extreme jealousy, the manipulation and mostly the abusive drinking!!! I HAVE TO BE STRONG AND WALK AWAY NOW!!!
@@Nanette_DeCardenas put yourself 1st & find your happy!! I am in a similar situation so I feel for you!
After 9yrs and 3 Beautiful daughters she broke my heart in a way that I didn’t think was possible. It’s been so hard to let her go. I’ve cried so many nights it’s unreal. It’s funny how LIFE goes. The time has come. I’m ready to let her and the relationship go. God Bless y’all and I hope you guys find your happiness again. 🙏🏾
best wishes
Thank you Mel Robbins. it's 5.30 am in my country and hearing you this early in the morning was like a prayer. You just changed my life ❤
I’m struggling with letting go of the relationship with my ex-fiancé. I see him frequently around our small town, and I get tangled in the grief over a relationship that I didn’t want to end. We broke up 1.5 years ago. I’ve never been stuck like this before. I have the head knowledge - if we were meant to be together, we would be, blah blah - but at my age, 63, and living in a remote small town, I feel like maybe this is it, that I won’t find love again. I compare everyone to him. I want to, I choose to, break free. I want to. I’m hurting myself in this spinning. The rest of my life is very together.
Mel.. you have no idea how much I needed to hear this today !!! The timing was perfect !!! 5..4..3..2..1 !!
I’ve been drowning in guilt and negativity for months now and one day I think I’ve moved in and then I have a massive anxiety attack the next day. I’m so ready to let this go and am so grateful for this podcast today ❤
I’m constantly having to shove my anxiety away just to get through the day to day. Remind yourself that you are a strong human and give yourself the grace you deserve! Know you’re not alone in this feeling, we can all get through our own demons to be the true selves we deserve!!
I hear you. Same here. But each time we are more aware and can do better at managing it all.
wonder when somebody devalues,
discards you, unexpectedly, &
practically ruins your life 😔 ?
what about commitment ?
what about when the going gets tough,
the tough get going ?
does that mean, take-off ?
bail-out ?
Wow Mel you are so powerful and so very insightful. I have all but sacrificed my life as a single parent of a son with Autism. Its been incredibly hard and few know how challenging it is to care for someone every day of our lives. The only time i really feel down is when he belittles me, doesnt value my efforts,our financial hardships and blames me and shows no compassion to me. I have to always rise above it. I have no partner or person to fill my tank but i know i have to go on as there is no one else for him. Its a race against time as i am now 70 and survived breast cancer but i have a mission to teach him all i can to look after himself when i am gone. He has taught me a lot and tamed my ADD and ihave learnt to be more circumspect but so often i just wish i could cry and sob all the hurt, the grief the mourning with someone who loves me enough to listen. Its hard to pick myself up some days and keep going. Living with Autism is bruising in so many ways and i have just learnt to grow a thick skin. There has been some reward but basically my life will always be on hold and always caring cleaning cooking just to enable him to function. I just hope i ca make it and that he will manage without me. But i know I HAVE TO LET GO OFF GUILT OF SADNESS AND KNOW I HAVE DONE THE BEST I KNOW HOW. WHAT HAPPENS AFTER I HAVE GONE IS UP TO HIM.
"you are your own energy drain" Lightbulb!!! Mel, I listen to you wherever I find you. (Love your chats with Lewis!!) I love how you are able to articulate what so many are feeling! My life is better with your wisdom in it!
The humility and authenticity of her approach is inspiring. A good example for me to follow. Love for all the help you have given to people for free. Thank you.
Ditto!
It's amazing that the very things you need to hear, come to you when you're ready to accept them in your consciousness. I'm ready to accept now.
I keep hearing your words Mel, "Do it anyway."
I'm soo grateful 🙏 I've discovered your podcasts..❤
I recently let go of trying to have a relationship with my mom. She is in her early 70’s and has always treated me differently than my siblings. When I confronted her about it she said with disgust “you’re just like your dad”. She has had a love/hate relationship with him since she was 16. At 52, I finally hit a wall and couldn’t do it anymore. I think it shocked her that I finally took a stand.
It is time to move on…
The moment the narcissist discards you. Of course it isn’t easy. Of course you may feel the worst about yourself. Of course you may miss the person you were with. Of course you feel hopeless.
But you have to move on the minute you have been discarded. I say this with compassion. Plow through your emotions and pain and depression with a nonexistent will to become the best version of you.
In my case, the narc discarded me. I went right back into my writing and art without ever looking back. It was agonizing and gut wrenching to move on. But I forced myself to be creative again. To accept me for me and not gauge my value according to how the narc valued me.
I pushed onward. Felt nauseous and lacked sleep. But I simply made myself, forced myself, to get busy and focus on my creative projects.
What I learned from that experience is, one will reach a point of having the ability to let go completely and peacefully within two weeks. Also, never allow anyone to lead your emotions with their emotions. Doing so will lead you to feeling completely lost. Be in control of yourself, your thoughts, your emotions, and see how quickly you will overcome.
Also, when you love yourself, with mental health care knowledge, and drawing closer to God, no one can ever hurt you again. They can’t because they’ll never be as strong as you.
Thank you for this David. I did not do this. After being discarded I took my husband back, only to be discarded a second time within months. Brutal learning experience leaving me with anxiety and depression, the emotional Rollercoaster made me physically ill
This has really helped me this morning. Thank you so much ❤
@@kathleendubois7128 You are most welcome, Kathleen. Any words of encouragement, to move forward, to regain your happiness and sanity back is worth every second of my time. You are worth that and more, Kathleen. An emotional roller coaster with him at the controls. You were on for the ride and couldn’t stop it even if you tried. At that time he was leading your emotions with his emotions, and that is when we lose touch of our own reality and happiness. We find ourselves dependent on an exterior subject to fulfill self acceptance. No. It has to begin with you. Being at a level of loving you just as much as you love the man you are with. Equal level of love for self and other. So when the other detaches, you are still at that high level of love, for self. It took me three years of watching NA videos to figure this out. Now, I don’t need a relationship to be fulfilled with life. But when I find the right woman, I will maintain boundaries and build on what two empathetic people are meant to build upon: trust, love, giving, and understanding. You will make it through this. You have to push yourself out of the anxiety and depression. Not fun or fathomable, but just go through the motions. Look at it this way, you begin at 0% the first few days, thereafter, 1%, 2%,5%, 10%- like recharging yourself back to 100%. I’m here to help you in any way I can, Kathleen. Be blessed.
@@ChanelZ167 Hi Crystal, music to my ears. You have more beauty and strength than the other person could ever handle. Your character is a blessing to many. I can tell idk how but I can tell. Take your new beginning into a higher level of self worth. There is happiness and power waiting there fore you. What I learned hours before my mom passed away, is, who you love and who loves you back is really all that matters in life. Live this live of yours with pure love in your heart. One that refuses to be stepped on ever again. Have a blessed day, Crystal. 💙
@@Inkironnrum your message is so positive and uplifting, thank you for reaching out. I am a million times better. Spending time with family and friends. Refuse to have anything to do with this person ever again. You are correct about being controlled by the emotions of another. It's a dangerous place to be. Thanks David for the support!
I can’t even take the peace and knowing in me right now. I’m from Burlington, VT and have longed to move back there for almost 20 years now. My husband and I are currently planning it out for the hopes of summer 2023. After having kids the pull has been even stronger. I’ve been on this spiritual awakening since 2019. So many great people who have inspired me and connected with my soul. I don’t know how the heck this happened, but I never came across you until a couple of days ago. I guess I wasn’t meant to until now. Everything I have heard from you in the last couple of days connects so deep with my soul. The fact that you were hiking in VT in the beginning gives me even more confidence I’m on the right path. Thank you for coming up with that 5 second hack and being you. You’re brilliant.
Just got done watching a few videos of “how to get over toxic relationships” and felt triggered.
The information Mel is given is actually making me look forward to the future and creating new things and Lord hopefully I can finally be free of this nightmare I keep putting myself through.
Nightmare is right.
I came across this at a time when I have been feeling really down, drained and unhappy…. I started taking notes, thinking about who/what/why….. I have an ex husband of 18years…. He is still hanging around, jeez he drains me, I even keep the coffee he prefers!!! I need to let go, set some boundaries and be ok with that…. I’m ready…. Little steps….. he will ‘turn up the volume’ moan to the children that ‘mum doesn’t want my coffee in her cupboard, ask her why’ it’s exhausting…. He also parks his car right in front of mine, blocking mine in whenever he comes to my house…. I can’t believe I’ve let this suck my life energy, I’m just so tired of it all…
So here goes….. 2024 will be the year I gain some courage….. let go….first step us to say ‘no need to replace your coffee, but thank you for providing it all these years…. We have plenty and I need the cupboard space for other things’ I can do this…
The tree analogy was just perfect!!!!
I love Mel, so insightful!!! Thank you 🙏🏻
For the past year I’ve been having a difficult time letting go of the mindset that I will never find another job that pays me well. When I resigned from my job at the end of 2021 due to an extremely toxic work environment I thought I did myself a favor. However, I found myself constantly comparing that well paying job to every job that I’ve ever worked or received an offer from, and I’ve kept myself in this miserable cycle believing that I will never be able to live the life I once had. I even contemplated about going back although that job sucked the life out of me and does not serve me anymore but due to financial reasons I feel helpless right now. I’m trying to let go.
Made changes in your expenses, check you pantry use all you have, buy by bulk if is necessary, study for free on “you tube” videos or online self study. find a work from home, no need to expend money in gasoline , food etc. Do not come back, move forward. You can do it, be strong!
Do not go back to that job. Find ways outside of your current job to spend less and make more. Maybe a hobby that you can monetize. Maybe a side gig?
You know deep in your heart that the money that job paid didn’t make up for the piece of your soul that it chipped at everyday.
This is exactly what I needed to hear. I have no time for toxic drama! No nonsense!
I’ve said the same thing!!! Nonsense and ridiculous!!
What a great talk. I have been trying to revive a long ago friendship with a cousin for the past three years. I did something that upset her (sent her a gift, it’s a long story) and was saying to myself yesterday that I needed to let go. I listened to this because it is definitely time for me to realize it’s not going to go back to the friendship level it was. I’ve been listening to Mels videos on friendship and how they come and go. It’s very difficult making new relationships as an older adult. The pants analogy was perfect! Good job Mel. Much love for all you do for everyone.
I’m in a similar boat, but I think it’s time to let go for sure. It’s sad that things changed but I want to move on and make space for something new! Good luck to you!
Maeve Binchy wrote a little novelette called "Full House" about how a mother let go of children who took more than they gave.
I know this is a past podcast but it's dead on for me; Mel... thanks for kicking me in the pants to let the past go and move forward, drop those dead leaves, they aren't coming back to life, spring is coming... renew and grow!!! 🌅
Just discovered you. I’m in a new phase of my journey. It’s called “letting the old go and the new in!”, “Stretch!56”, “Autumn 🍂 is renew time, January is too late!”
Let’s do this!
(What drew me to you is Dr. Ramani who has saved my life!)
Me, too! Interview w Dr Ramani on narcissism.
@@kathiejl1 I am learning to transition to a better me from a biblical standpoint with Sheneen Megji too. To me, she is like Dr. Ramani, plus!! Check her out too! Loving her. You’ll see. 😉
I was meant to find you today! This podcast was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. The last 2 years have been a painful journey as I learned about the importance of letting go. It felt like I was mourning a death, but the son I loved so much is alive and well. You were right, Mel, my intuition and spirit were telling me what I needed to do, but I just couldn’t accept what was. I have shed so many leaves recently and my branches (spirit) are lighter and happier. Letting people show up as they are and accepting them without judgement has been so freeing.
This helped me let go of a person in my life. Some people are meant to be like passing ships in ones life. Never meant to be permanent.
I let my 11 yr relationship with my narcissist go. It sucked me dry & my gut intuition told me that it was time.
Thank you Mel. I’m going to do my best to stop complaining. I appreciate you. 😊
Dont complain!!!!! 👨👩👦🤣