Christian Erotica for Holy Masturbation: Marriage Heat
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- Опубликовано: 2 июл 2024
- This video is about Marriage Heat, a christian erotica website that encourages "biblical hot monogamy." I share my thoughts on the website as well as my experiences with masturbation after growing up in purity culture.
My new RUclips channel: / @elly.trevisan
[Timestamps]
00:00 - Christian erotica excerpt
01:48 - Purity culture and masturbation
04:43 - Marriage Heat website
11:28 - Loopholes: porn and technical virginity
14:36 - "A culture of biblical hot monogamy"
16:53 - Announcement: Patreon and new channel
[Background Music]
Title: Smooth Sailing
www.hooksounds.com
Image description: Elly, who is white with brown eyes and brown hair, is wearing green glasses and a teal long-sleeve shirt. Behind Elly is a desk with a small plant and pictures and twinkle lights on the wall.
#PurityCulture #Exvangelical #ReligiousTrauma
Oh dear ❤
I would caution you against what is loosely referred to as "don't yuk somebody else's yum" there are many people who have "breeding" kinks (or conception ones 😉) and breastmilk is probably the tamest of fluids available for a human to excrete. While it is startling to see very religious and fundy people enjoying themselves sexually, there are many more who don't because of accidental or unrealized comments like this ❤❤ I know they may be strange or a turn off to you, but they could be a turn on for someone else struggling with shame. And I'm 110% confident that was not your intention whatsoever! I do think it's important to mention though ❤
So glad to hear your voice again after a long break ❤
Thank you so much for pointing this out to me. You are absolutely right. I said how the website excluding people was wrong, but I can see how I ended up doing the same thing.
To anyone I may have hurt with my careless comments, I am deeply sorry. I will be more mindful going forward.
@@ExFundieDiaries we all have our moments when we put our foot in it, so to speak, and im more than happy to offer a helping hand to steady yourself instead of just shaking my finger at you ❤️ it was very clear to me that you found those things uncomfortable (a totally fair thing!) and your face and body language spoke those clearly, the words just came out a bit sideways is all 😘
Also, can I share that I am also a very peopley people person who has a bad habit of "loving people to death" My poor boyfriends often has to remind me that I'm creeping from being helpful to taking over. I've found that fostering animals (which I know would be hard or impossible at the moment for you but it might be a little nugget of wisdom for a later time) has really given me an outlet. I can fuss over them, sit with them for hours coaxing them to eat, monitoring their weight gain, I can take care of something that really need my attention and give my loved ones a break from me 🤭 I have a much harder time with plants, I definitely love those to death!
I hoping you're well and as always, F*** purity culture
@@14Raine14 I really appreciated your kind call in! ❤️
@@ExFundieDiaries , I see I have been excluded - I put up four comments yesterday, why can't I see them?
@@sarahk5921 I haven’t deleted any comments. Maybe they didn’t go through?
I have such a dark sense of humor because when Elly said “overcoming sexual abuse? Ooh that’s definitely a serious one there.” And immediately followed up with “pAnTiEs kIcKoFf?” I died laughing😂
That is quite the tonal shift, I wasn’t ready for that either!! 😂
With all the other loopholes they have you’d think they’d come up with something for the “gay stuff”. Happy New Year Elly!
Those stories are oddly absent from the other discussion being had there. Really curious as to why that might be?
It took me a moment to figure out what 'mature sex' meant. I was thinking "isn't all sex mature?? That's what 'mature' scenes are..."😂
Then I imagined 'immature' sex being like when people are just laughing and being silly clowning around and it's fun. Like when you're both naked so you take the opportunity to blow on the other person's tummy and make fart noises and it turns into a competition on who can be loudest.
Or when you WERE making out and then someone rocks the bed and it makes a loud thump so you start both thumping the bed as loud as possible and making loud overracted sex moans like this trying to make the neighbours THINK you're having sex and then you hear a movement next door and you both freeze and whisper:
"oh sh*t they heard us!"
"Did they?"
"Wait!" +holds up a finger to silence the other person+
+listening for 15 seconds+
"No they were just talking quieter"
+resume making out while laughing+
😂😂
You're welcome for my guide to "immature sex".
This isn’t related to this video, but I really hope the antidepressants are helping and that you’re feeling better. I know how hard it is. ❤❤❤
And it can take so long to get the right one and the right dose. Hold on in there Ellie
@@helenr4300Yes!! That was my entire high school experience: figuring out the right dose. And also my entire experience last summer when something needed to be adjusted but figuring out how took time. ❤
@laurenconrad1799 Thank you so much- I think they are helping! I'm planning to talk about it on my new personal channel :)
Came here to say same, don’t feel pressure to get it exactly right on first try. It is a moving target, but you are a badass for taking this step. Self care!!!
also chiming in that it's very normal to have to try a few doses of multiple meds
I used to occasionally visit the church of my neighbour when there was a thanksgiving celebration. I’m actually an atheist and only attended because I reckoned thanksgiving had nothing to do with god. But what struck me at this gathering was the huge amount of sexual tension there was in the room. It was incredible.
Sexual tension between who?
I have been a fan of Marriage Heat for years. I have even contributed a couple stories. I think the reason for the seeming inconsistency or "loopholes" on the site is there is a wide range of opinions on different issues pertaining to sexual morality among Christians. From some of my discussions with contributors, I know there are a few contributors who are fine with homosexuality, and some are even swingers. But not everyone agrees those things are compatible with Christian morality, so the site compromises and only allows certain things. But you have to admit that it is light years more open minded than a lot of what you find in evangelicalism.
Homessexuality and swinging feels pretty different to me when it comes to morality, swinging is a moral issue (some are fine with it and some are not) while homosexuality can't really be a moral issue because you can't help who you fall in love with. I thought this site sounded pretty cool and open minded but if they are against homosexuality then they still seem pretty fundamentalistic because lots of Christians are completely fine with homosexuality.
i like the new intro! i think i remember you were a little conflicted about the format of sharing your pronouns each video, now that you've shared a lot of your gender journey with us. i think you struck a great balance of general intro for brand new viewers and connecting your background to the current topic.
the description of the site honestly hammers home that loophole-dissonance you're talking about, where everything you do has to be focused on christ (even the intimate things you and your partner do to feel pleasure and show affection for one another) so if you want to have these "naughty" fantasies (which they obviously do) without upsetting him you have to make up all these caveats; the (for many) natural experience of sexual attraction or arousal becomes only acceptable within wedlock, or if you're not married yet, you're only allowed to enjoy it if you imagine being married? you're right it's hypocritical and nonsensical. (also for what it's worth I agree with other comments about being happy for you and sending you the best energy in the new year!! 🎉)
I have never heard the words "holy" and "masturbation" in the same sentence! 😂
I love this patreon development for you! You deserve to get paid for your time and labor and I’m so glad I found out about you in time to join!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate that :)
The word 'panties' has always been so creepy sounding to us non Americans 🤣
I've watched all your videos but don't comment a lot, I'm not able to join your Patreon, but good luck with it & I have subscribed to your new channel.
I legally changed my surname back to my maiden name after my divorce and I'm soooo glad that I did!
I am a lifelong American and wearer of women’s underwear, and “panties” is my biggest cringe word. I hate it. Hate hate hate hate hate LOATHE it
@@mads597 😂😂 it's so so weird and creepy!
When I was in the youth department at my Baptist Church growing up, we would have lectures on Christian married sex. At some point, we were told that sexual fantasies were wrong because you were always sinning in your mind with someone else. As in, if you're having a fantasy, it has to be you imagining an actual person that you knew existed and had seen a photo, television show, or film about.
Now this was in the 1980s, and there were not any X-Men movies, and not much in the way of live action television regarding any comic book characters except for Spider-Man, Superman, Batman and the Hulk. I rather naively pointed out that some could fantasize about a comic book character without imagining having sex with a real person. Ditto a character from literature that had either not been made into a film for television show, or were you had not seen that film or television show.
I will never forget the horribly confused looks that came across the faces of the youth ministers. They could not fathom how someone would have a fantasy about a character in a book that had not been made into a movie. It was at that point that I realized Baptist were not supposed to have imagination.
I left the denomination at 18. Because, unfortunately for them, but fortunately for me, I had imagination. And I could imagine myself as an adult anywhere except in a Baptist Church.
I really enjoy your vlogs, but it's also great to have another topical video like this, too. Love to hear you break down and discuss things like this. Hope you're doing well, Elly!
I'm so happy to hear about your Patreon! That sounds like a great option for sharing your content. ❤
I have mixed feelings about this. It’s definitely better than saying no sexual stimulation ever.
But it does remind me of this theology major that used to talk to me all the time in our religious college. He was older and had done a lot of drugs and a lot of other bad stuff then almost died from a drug overdose and then quit everything and went all in on religion. But he would talk to me about stuff he did and while he would say this wasn’t good. Luckily you never got involved with this stuff. He would make it sound amazing. “this one time I dipped acid and everything turned to rainbows! It was so beautiful I’ve never seen anything so awesome in my life!” But drugs are bad, don’t do drugs. “Then there was this hot girl. (He Described the girl in explicit detail) we got high and she (then he’d describe what she did) and how awesome it was… but I wish I had waited until I got married like you will, because it’s better that way”.
That’s what the “Swinger Stories from before we were Christians” sounds like to me. It wasn’t good, don’t do it, it’s a sin, but masturbating to our sinning isn’t a sin? Really?
Happy New Year! And good to see you posting videos again. Well done on taking the step of reclaiming your name. Very important.
totally relate to feeling exhausted about delving into this stuff further into my deconstruction journey. when I first started really digging into the breadth of the damage my upbringing did to me I became fixated on consuming fundie snark and adjacent material (how I found ur channel haha), but the more I've healed from it the more I find I have less focus to put on it. Im glad to hear Patreon seems like a better outlet for you and if this channel on here ends up having an expiration date, I hope you dont feel guilty about that. the point of healing is to have other places to put the energy that was consumed by trauma
OMG A NEW VIDEO!!! I'm so excited I've been thinking about you so much!!!
That room and decor is so beautiful and warm! The colour scheme/lighting and music and your voice are all so soothing and gentle!
It's really nice to have that in a RUclips video (as someone with ADHD/ASD/CPTSD who experiences sensory overload).
As someone who does the m thing regularly, its definitely a self care thing. Makes me feel better when I'm feeling down.
I love that there's a category strictly for "former swingers." Like, they don't condone the lifestyle but they do want to get off to all of the orgy stories 😂😂
😅😅😅😅😅 oh The irony!
Yay Elly! Great to see you again!
It's still criminal that you don't have at least double the amount of subscribers ❤️
I ran into this site years ago, and it blew my mind. Thanks for reminding me that it exists. Also, I hope you're doing well. You look great, and I'm looking forward to the new channel. Happy New Year.
When you were listing all the categories it reminded me of the protestant scene from Monty Python's Meaning of Life where the husband was listing all the things they were allowed to do, if they wanted to, that the Catholics were not allowed.
Love that scene! Indeed ‘every sperm is sacred. If a sperm is wasted God gets quite irate!’ What like he counts them all like the hairs on our heads and calls us to account for any that have not be expelled just for the purpose of fertilising our Christian Wife’s ova so that she may have OUR Child?
If you mean the Micheal Palin character, I think that character was Jewish, not Catholic.
@@sarahk5921 No, Graham Chapman, and the joke is that he's a stuffy protestant who doesn't want to have sex while his wife gets excited by all the things he's listing that they are allowed to do.
I am grateful for and feel empathy when I watch these videos. thank you for sharing this
Elly. You're doing great! I hope you find peace and that you're living your best life. ❤❤❤
Kudos from Brazil🇧🇷
You have been missed! I wish you a year of many blessings. 🎉
The fact that you felt like you had to ask for permission before you could flick the bean is really sad. I'm sorry for you. Glad you're able to get out there and experience life now though
Those seem like a lot of loopholes on that website. I’m so glad I left Christianity and am finding myself. And I can also slowly explore my own sexuality.
Happy new year, Elly!!
I never imagined such a website existed!! Some categories sound so far from the usual corn sites! I'm battling against my curiosity not to visit the site 😂
Please take care. Your content is refreshing and healing due to the realness and vulnerability of it ❤ I understand you so much about being vulnerable and honest online! It can be very empowering, but is necessary to be careful also.
Sending you lots of good vibes and a big hug
happy new years to the viewers! ❤️😂
Happy new year :)
you too ! :)
I get moving your older content onto patreon. I'll miss it as a college student w/o consistent income, but get that bread!
Wow... I'm speechless. As an ex-moose, I kind of want a Quranic hot monogamy series next :P
Well... it would probably be hot polygamy
Can I ask what ex-moose means? I've never heard the term before
@@xenonsan3110ex muslim im pretty sure
@@xenonsan3110 I think they tried to say ex-muslim but got attacked by autocorrect.
😅
"Afternoon delight"😂 love it. You make it sound like a decadent chocolate cake at tea time, and it sounds so on brand for a discussion about Christians *alluding* to sex in a way that makes me envision of burlesque scenes in secret speakeasies from decades past - rather mysterious and tantalising without any discussion or detail of the practicalities of the physical acts lol.
It also reminds me of when my friend told me that her gran's generation called condoms "french letters" which I found adorable. 😂❤( Even though I do know the purity culture behind many of this running it down/alluding that Christians do and NOT discussing sex or educating on it properly is harmful.)
:D i missed you sm!
Wow, if Ned Flanders wrote kink.
Hahhaha
I love your videos! We grew up very similarly, but I was raised Mormon. I just had to say, the short hair and glasses look is chef’s kiss. You’re so cute! 😉
Subbed to the new channel!
This is fascinating
I just came across your video now, and I really enjoyed it 😊
You're very pretty and smart, too
I am four seconds in to this video and as a subscriber to this channel I am dying 🤣I'm looking forward to finding out what the heck is happening, lol
I’m an exvangelical and I’m definitely checking this out!
I write what I call “slight or moderate erotica” sometimes. I try to check out erotica sites that I can submit these to, but they all seem like the stories are so extreme. I can’t write the extreme stuff. Maybe the Christian site is more tame, but of course I’m probably wrong. If it is, I can “Christianize” my stories to fit. 😂
Also some of those categories: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The breast milk category might be talking about ANR.
After a few weeks, reply with your thoughts.
@@sarahk5921 lol ok it’s a deal
@@danisouris3429 One week so far, initial thoughts?
@@sarahk5921 oh I forgot all about this shit. Sorry.
@@danisouris3429Hello, fellow ADHDer!! 🤣🤣🤣
I legit threw up in my mouth a little bit when you read the category "husband heat."
Just wanted to wish you a Happy, Healthy, Prosperous New Year.
"Longer loving" has GOT to be edge play, right?? 😂😅
I love this interpretation! haha
Girl that hair is looking 🔥
2:50 Wait…that isn’t normal? Most people aren’t afraid to look at their naked body in the mirror? 😅 (I was also raised in a very similar environment and am currently in college working through all of that. Love your videos!)
People may not like seeing themselves naked in the mirror but that is likely to be linked to something such as excess weight etc rather than nakedness in itself.
Yep, Elly was given a distorted unChristian view of sexuality.
no, it's not normal. i'm typically naked in my own house and looking in the mirror is the same as looking in the mirror with clothes on.
I was laughing at the opening. That was....definitely something else lol.
lol i liked it! i like that kind of corny stuff with my partner.
Christian Hot Wife... I don't think that means what they think it means...
Also, subscribed!
When you were going through the topics alphabetically and you said “Christmas Heat,” I thought to myself “please please please let there be Easter Heat!”
I think it's a great resource for otherwise conflicted Christians to have. Also, porn is a fucking plague for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with religion of any kind. Written erotica is far superior to standard porn, in part because it lacks the risk of unethical material being posted or shared online, or situations where there's a lack of consent somewhere in the "process" so to speak.
As someone who grew up out of purity culture but was 'born again' in my twenties, I am fascinated by the loopholes and hypocrisy, when sex is such a normal human function.
uhhh 6:01 is a bit of a jump in intensity! really this whole list is a baffling rollercoaster and i about fell out of my chair laughing
This reminds me of the adult fundie daughter (maybe a few sisters?) of a big family who bought lingerie secondhand and made it either more modest or "cuter" (I forget which) with a few modifications and sold it online. Secondhand so they wouldn't be supporting those "pervert" companies... I wish I could remember who it was!
I’m glad you are free of your early indoctrination and able to enjoy a healthy life without the guilt and shame you were taught.
Happy new year :-) just so you know, the patreon link does not go to your page
Thank you so much for letting me know! I think I fixed it now :)
How does this website even exist xD it would never fly in the mormon church of my youth. Like it's so fringe, just be not christian at that point!!! Maybe it can serve as a stepping stone for people trying to find a pathway to healthiness, like you said some stuff is revolutionary for christianity anyways. Love your videos ❤️
omg... .the swingers are telling their testimonies as erotica!!
Did you go and read their stories?
why is this formatted like fundie AO3 I’m laughing my ass off rn
Trying and failing not to wonder what Bethany from Girl Defined's username is on this website
xD
Try myhubbyisgay357
Speaking as a former Christian who is polyamorous, I don’t think this website is doing Christians any favors by allowing them to think that they have to use these “loopholes.” I would like too see these people defend monogamy, since almost everyone living in Bible times was polygamous or polyamorous. And nowhere in the Bible is there a command to be monogamous, or a prohibition against multiple relationships.
Panties kickoff sounds like a sport
At least my mom bought me a book with pictures and diagrams. What she didn't know that curtesy of school I already knew how this worked as far as having babies was concerned.
OMG those rules! 😮
"Technical virgins" lol glad I'm not the only one who always found that bizarre from a "abstain for purity culture reasons" POV.
I can relate to the notion that it's wrong to m*sterbate and that I'd have to ask my partner for permission. The Bible teaches you that you don't own your body and shouldn't "deprive" each your spouse of s*x and m*sturbation is often taught as wrong in fundie Christianity.
Glad I don't have those harmful authoritarian and self-hating/body-hating views anymore and have left the evangelical cult and my own abusive parents.
Actually a lot of doctors and scientists say it’s doing damage to people. Try watching no fap videos that are for men; they are not even religious. They do it for psychological and physical reasons
No show Bethany Beal this website. I fear what she will show on her ig.
I love you Elly. I hope you are prosperous af on patreon. I'm excited about any and all of your content. Jazzed about your new channel ❤
Thank you so much!!! :)
@@ExFundieDiaries we are truly ✨️blessed✨️ by your content!
Intimacy is a private thing and I would not want my spouse discussing it in a public forum. I most likely won’t discuss it publicly either.
Oh wow....our stories are so similar 😭
I wonder if the mature topic is for older folks? Grandpa and grandma, for example.
Wow. This is nuts. But this is the problem with Christianity and Fundamentalism. There is so much shame around something some human, so normal, so much a part of life. So one the one hand, you have to try to be a good Christian. And then, on the other hand, there's this sexual side, this kinky side. So many people have to hide that side away under a happy facade.
I don't consider myself a very sexual person. I also grew up in trauma and abuse. There was a lot of coldness and distance between my parents. I didn't' see a loving relationship between them. I realize, that I was very repressed and inhibited sexually, disconnected from my body and from my feelings. And yet, those desires were still there, just didn't know what to do with them. I think that those of us from abuse, we struggle with relationships, how to know what love is, what it isn't, and how to find the right one in adulthood.
I think that there's a lot to be said for having a healthy relationship, and a healthy sexual connection.
One must Try the Fruit before one Buys the Cluster if Grapes.
I’m picturing a Marriage Heat username of BibleThumper69. 🤣💀
Is anal s*x included in the loopholes of those courtship stories? If so, do they say anything about how the couple prepares for that? 🤔 I’ve also never understood that particular loophole and how it’s not considered as s*x.
For Christians its a horrible sin of sodomy
Driving with sunglasses on is dangerous
I feel like the next thing you can talk about is Christian lingerie.
Hi just found your site. Really cool, least we not forget the Song of Solomon. The traditional churches teach repression Hello who created sex ? I believe god approves of conventional sex between man and women in marriage.
I imagine they mean kickoff like a sport.
What happened to the antideppresent video?
I decided to take it down. I'm planning to talk about it on my new personal channel instead
I lost it at "hot biblical monogamy"
God made our sexual instincts and desires... it is up to us to discover the good in Gods creation.
Where are my comments gone?
Hi Sarah!
Voyerism. Does that mean watching porn is ok?
Conception Stories ❤
I love the idea of making baby making sex special instead of just mechanical/sperm in egg connecting
Thank you very much for your channel ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
"Put your modesty on pause"
😀
Wowsers! Christian Erotic Stories ? I couldn't imagine this in Judaism or Islam. 😮
Thanks for your vulnerability.
Sounds like that site is not using loopholes at all, but full on just being erotic with a little bit Christianese and truth thrown in to attract that demographic. I haven't watched your masturbation video, but I will say the Christian realm isn't addressing that topic very much yet when it comes to having spouses that have health issue like : extreme back pain, Alzheimers/dementia, was in a car accident and is now a quadriplegic, cancer, Parkinson's, ALS and any of the other ailments we can't control getting. Or what about a spouse that goes to prison. I wouldn't be too keen on conjugal visits in that context, and only four states allow them anyways. So, the spouse at home is SOL? So much BS in the Christian realm, I'm sick of it.
What the actual fuck?! 🤣
Its not porn because the pictures are in your head
Love addiction and fantasy
noonononononononoonono nonononono nononon ononononon nononononononononon nonononononononon nononononononononoooooooooo nnooononononNOOOOOOOOOOOO
of course, there are no topics specifically for the wife in that alphabetical list. It would be solely the responsibility of the woman to make her husband happy, huh. Typical. I feel like the need for a head-shaking laugh and giggle....might head to the website myself to see how very bad it is.....No luck finding it, maybe safety search filters, maybe I'm from NZ.......but for the few links I did find. No, I will not go searching more. It's not funny. It blames women, suggests ideas of abusive behaviour are because the relationship is "dry", it seems to want to get back to that 'magical, incredible' marriage night ideal, and ignore all of the life lived since. And of course, everyone wants and should be having children. Oh dear.
Dont kink shame! People are freaking weird lol. Swingers lifestyle is awesome.. i dont believe people went back to monogamous relationships after 😂
What on earth am I listening to?!
Sigh...sexual apologetics.
christian nightmares