I wonder if Bethany feels some relief or joy about Dav being very clear that he loves Bethany not because she's a good Christian but just because she's her. I wonder if anyone has affirmed Bethany as much as Dav has.
Idk . I wonder if her family is going to be in her ear to leave now that he isn't saying he is for sure Christian. This is going to be a whole different game
Even if they ARE in her ear, I very much get the sense this is the first time in her life Bethy's felt loved for just being Bethy. She doesn't have to one up a sibling or prove her worthiness to him somehow. And that feeling is powerful. I actually think those two crazy kids are gonna make it.
I have a husband who is totally on my side, thinks I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him. I resonated so much with this video because I've deconstructed but my husband is still a conservative Christian. Regardless, he's treated me far better than my family ever did. Finding someone who sees you and values you for who you are, that is something so wonderful I'm not sure I have words to adequately describe it. It certainly looks like that's what's going on between Dav and Bethy. If I'm right, I doubt she'll be willing to give that up no matter what pressure comes from her family.
My mom also uses “church hurt” to explain away my distance from the church. I don’t care if that’s not what Jesus is like. It’s what I got from my church - the church she took me to! - for my entire childhood. And once I started unpacking the “hurt”, I slowly lost all connection to the “church.”
I told my partner last night that I was so excited to watch your reaction, to FundieFriday's reaction, to Bethy and Dāv's reaction to the P&M collab 🤣🤣 he said "this is getting out of hand" lmaoo love it
The audacity of this conventionally attractive, white, cis, hetero, Christian(ish) couple saying that Paul and Morgan are nice people is off the charts. Like, of course they're nice to you, you're basically everything they extol as moral and godly. Every piece you remove from that equation is another step away from how "nice" you'll experience.
I believe Bethy and Dave are shellshocked. I mean, deconstruction brings grief for the person deconstructing and the Christians who truly love them. Even last week, years after starting my deconstruction, I was aggressively grieving something. I feel for them because this is a long, hard journey, and while I believe it brings about good things… it really, really sucks sometimes. But I feel I can’t unsee what I have seen.
I was wondering just now how you're doing. You look well. I feel bad for that guy. It's hard enough to lose your faith without the whole Internet watching and criticizing you.
I watched The Antibot's latest two videos which are reactions to this one and the previous collab with Paul and Morgan and I think it'll help answer some of your questions, Elly plus Taylor and Drew gave a great balanced reaction to it from an exvangelical deconstruction POV!
I'm honestly incredibly proud of Bethany for being so supportive of Dav and being so open on her platform about this. I know she knows she could get major backlash from her regular audience, so it takes real love and respect to allow your partner the space to do this.
I also deconstructed against my will. I slept with someone who mislead me under false pretenses and told me afterwards they are a conservative Christian 😢 it put me in even more of a crisis mode, which my abusive family already put me in. Everything started to unravel at a much faster rate, tho.
Your countenance seems improved Ellie! Again, don't know you or how you're feeling, but hopefully the new medication is helping. At least on the outside looking in it appears to have had a positive impact. On topic, it's CRAZY how Dav just came right out and said he's actively deconstructing. You can see the massive shift secular therapy has had on him. With the way Bethany is talking too I wonder if she's also in therapy? Either way this might possibly be a marriage that survives this roiling sea; time will tell.
I really want these two to work out and I like seeing them learn from each other and have healthy, noncontrolling ways on how to go about their mixed faith relationship 💗
This does make me like Bethany more than I used to from my limited knowledge of her previous videos. I was never a believer, and I'd like to see ALL Christians deconstruct, in so much as they take a long hard look at their beliefs, and how they acquired those beliefs. I would be very surprised if even one person walked into a bookstore, bought a bible, read it through, and decided everything in it was true, without some previous experience of the religion.
"Some people come out of deconstruction with a _stronger_ faith, because they got rid of all the bullshit that man was making them do, that their church was making them do, that their toxic friends were making them do." Thinking about this I probably deconstructed multiple times and it took me at least a decade to acknowledge I was an atheist. There were definitely times I came out with a stronger faith without the inconsistencies of things other people taught that weren't biblical. Although eventually I realised I had to fairly critique the Bible too and whether I'd believe what I did if I weren't raised in it first and started with the conclusion that every question was mandated to reach.
I'm surprised at how supportive Bethany has been, they really seem to have a real and loving, supportive relationship with so much affection, respect and care between them. Of course, we have to base everything on what we see on camera but this looks really real, and it really does make me feel better about some fundie relationships and I'm honestly happy for them to have such a great relationship! As someone who had to block my immediate relatives 95% of the time since 2018 when I came out as trans and receiving my mom's re-stated rejection again two days ago I want someone who stands by me this way!
Oh damn, he properly goes into it, he's doing a full deep dive deconstruction. It sounds like he's really serious about holding nothing back in his questioning journey.
I'm genuinely happy for dav, and while I'm less optimistic about bethy, it was truly sweet to see how they love and support each other. I hope their journey continues and we see so much growth
I love your videos. They are so soothing and comforting. You helped heal the inner overly sheltered homeschool child within me and im so happy that im able to relate to you. ❤
I hope it was an ELCA church that they switched to, not the more fundie LCMS one. If they're still in a fundie church of some kind, I feel certain that the church will pressure her to leave him, and if she doesn't, it'll kick them both out. Both of which of course are very painful. But their marriage and faith might survive if it's a more progressive ELCA church. Fingers crossed for them.
Elly, one of my best friends did a similar thing as your friend did to you. Told me "lovingly " that God didn't want me to be trans and later asked if I couldn't just "go back" to how I was before. 😢😔
Loved watching your reaction to a reaction! It's especially awesome because of the way you deconstructed and how well you documented it to the point where you can recall literal thoughts (journal entries). I'd watch a billion more vids like this!
Fundie Fridays, Zelph, and Antibot have all displayed a lot of empathy and compassion about this. But I kind of need to hear your brand of super-empathy right now. So thank you. 💕 Hope you're doing well!
Pickle ball is like the trendy new sport that broom ball was back in the 00's. I am adoring the layers to this whole thing. It's a reaction video to a reaction video to a reaction video. How deep will it go by the end of the week? And yeah, wishing them the best as a couple and on their spiritual journeys.
Totally with you on feeling honored to be witnessing Dav's experience in real time. Many of us felt so terrified and alone when we started deconstructing- and like you, many of us began deconstructing involuntarily. I think Dav says this too, but the thoughts just start pouring in and you can't stop them. You gotta just ride it out. Man, what an honor to see someone who's such an important figurehead of modern Christianity talk about deconstructing
On "church hurt": I was relating some of the terrible things I was made to believe about myself to a friend of mine who's a strong Catholic, and she was very supportive but kept saying "I'm so sorry that people used the Bible to hurt you like that." I understood that she wanted to be sympathetic to what I had gone through but also not acknowledge that her faith itself might be harmful. And as an atheist and secular spiritualist, I don't believe it's my place to invalidate someone else's believe system or try to talk them out of it if it really is beneficial to their lives. In the end, I explained that as an autistic person, I am driven to follow every belief to its farthest possible conclusion. So someone else might hear "be humble" and think "I should consider other people more and not make myself the center of everything." But I hear "you should hate yourself." My "teachers" encouraged that belief, but it's still Biblical, and I wasn't necessarily wrong for coming to that conclusion. I hope it helped her see that it's not just bad people doing unbiblical things that made me an atheist. It's how I interact with that belief system, and it's not healthy for me to be in it, even though it might be good for someone else.
I feel so much compassion for Dav - my take on this, generally, is that he is yearning for authenticity, not just living the life that was proscribed for him. Living someone else's life eventually catches up with those of us who don't feel safe to even question who we are, let alone live our truth. When we are deconstructing, we are fighting against our "support systems" who go along with the script we previously aligned with, many of those people we love dearly. We face losing those people, while we figure out who we are and accept our true values and how we can live them out. I sense that his love for Bethany runs deep, and that remains regardless of how he feels about his faith; I truly hope they are able to hold on to that and build an even stronger bond, regardless of where they find themselves in their respective identities.
This is interesting. I haven’t watched girl defined but I’m happy for anyone who deconstructs their faith if that’s what they want. I’m sure glad I did and left Christianity.
I wonder if Bethany feels some relief or joy about Dav being very clear that he loves Bethany not because she's a good Christian but just because she's her. I wonder if anyone has affirmed Bethany as much as Dav has.
This is a really insightful comment.
Idk . I wonder if her family is going to be in her ear to leave now that he isn't saying he is for sure Christian. This is going to be a whole different game
Even if they ARE in her ear, I very much get the sense this is the first time in her life Bethy's felt loved for just being Bethy. She doesn't have to one up a sibling or prove her worthiness to him somehow. And that feeling is powerful. I actually think those two crazy kids are gonna make it.
@@thewrongshoesI’m sure they will be. Growing up, we were constantly cautioned about being “unequally yolked” with a non-believer.
I have a husband who is totally on my side, thinks I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him. I resonated so much with this video because I've deconstructed but my husband is still a conservative Christian. Regardless, he's treated me far better than my family ever did. Finding someone who sees you and values you for who you are, that is something so wonderful I'm not sure I have words to adequately describe it. It certainly looks like that's what's going on between Dav and Bethy. If I'm right, I doubt she'll be willing to give that up no matter what pressure comes from her family.
This videos megaverse is WILD
The thirtsty Zelph video is hysterical. Good to see you!
I was dying during the Zelph video! 😂
My mom also uses “church hurt” to explain away my distance from the church. I don’t care if that’s not what Jesus is like. It’s what I got from my church - the church she took me to! - for my entire childhood. And once I started unpacking the “hurt”, I slowly lost all connection to the “church.”
I told my partner last night that I was so excited to watch your reaction, to FundieFriday's reaction, to Bethy and Dāv's reaction to the P&M collab 🤣🤣 he said "this is getting out of hand" lmaoo love it
Right?! lol, I was trying to explain the same thing to my hubby who doesn’t know anything about these people.
infinte regress
This is me begging fundie fridays to collab with you properly
Elly it was so nice to see you smile!
It absolutely is!!
Aww, thank you!!! :)
I agree
Me too!❤
The audacity of this conventionally attractive, white, cis, hetero, Christian(ish) couple saying that Paul and Morgan are nice people is off the charts. Like, of course they're nice to you, you're basically everything they extol as moral and godly. Every piece you remove from that equation is another step away from how "nice" you'll experience.
I believe Bethy and Dave are shellshocked. I mean, deconstruction brings grief for the person deconstructing and the Christians who truly love them. Even last week, years after starting my deconstruction, I was aggressively grieving something. I feel for them because this is a long, hard journey, and while I believe it brings about good things… it really, really sucks sometimes. But I feel I can’t unsee what I have seen.
I was wondering just now how you're doing. You look well.
I feel bad for that guy. It's hard enough to lose your faith without the whole Internet watching and criticizing you.
Haircut and glasses are super flattering!
Yeees!
I love how many worlds have collided over this lol
First off, you seem so light and that makes me smile 😊. You might also enjoy the reactions of the antibot and zelf on the shelf
I watched The Antibot's latest two videos which are reactions to this one and the previous collab with Paul and Morgan and I think it'll help answer some of your questions, Elly plus Taylor and Drew gave a great balanced reaction to it from an exvangelical deconstruction POV!
Rachel Oates is another great reaction to check out!
My deconstruction/ deconversion was also a fairly straight line. But I do have a few friends who have deconstructed but are still Christian.
I'm honestly incredibly proud of Bethany for being so supportive of Dav and being so open on her platform about this. I know she knows she could get major backlash from her regular audience, so it takes real love and respect to allow your partner the space to do this.
Oh my goddddd this just gets better and better I love all these reactions to the reaction to the reaction
I also deconstructed against my will. I slept with someone who mislead me under false pretenses and told me afterwards they are a conservative Christian 😢 it put me in even more of a crisis mode, which my abusive family already put me in. Everything started to unravel at a much faster rate, tho.
Your countenance seems improved Ellie! Again, don't know you or how you're feeling, but hopefully the new medication is helping. At least on the outside looking in it appears to have had a positive impact. On topic, it's CRAZY how Dav just came right out and said he's actively deconstructing. You can see the massive shift secular therapy has had on him. With the way Bethany is talking too I wonder if she's also in therapy? Either way this might possibly be a marriage that survives this roiling sea; time will tell.
Oddly, the original video is worth watching. Also, their back and forth with Zelph on the Shelf is adorable. Here’s hoping they keep moving forward.
I really want these two to work out and I like seeing them learn from each other and have healthy, noncontrolling ways on how to go about their mixed faith relationship 💗
Yaaaassss just watched Jen’s reaction yesterday and I love that you’re reacting to her reacting to it!
This does make me like Bethany more than I used to from my limited knowledge of her previous videos.
I was never a believer, and I'd like to see ALL Christians deconstruct, in so much as they take a long hard look at their beliefs, and how they acquired those beliefs.
I would be very surprised if even one person walked into a bookstore, bought a bible, read it through, and decided everything in it was true, without some previous experience of the religion.
"Some people come out of deconstruction with a _stronger_ faith, because they got rid of all the bullshit that man was making them do, that their church was making them do, that their toxic friends were making them do."
Thinking about this I probably deconstructed multiple times and it took me at least a decade to acknowledge I was an atheist.
There were definitely times I came out with a stronger faith without the inconsistencies of things other people taught that weren't biblical.
Although eventually I realised I had to fairly critique the Bible too and whether I'd believe what I did if I weren't raised in it first and started with the conclusion that every question was mandated to reach.
I just struggle to understand how people can actually believe religion. I am soooo happy not to be raised with such brainwashed nonsense!
I'm surprised at how supportive Bethany has been, they really seem to have a real and loving, supportive relationship with so much affection, respect and care between them. Of course, we have to base everything on what we see on camera but this looks really real, and it really does make me feel better about some fundie relationships and I'm honestly happy for them to have such a great relationship!
As someone who had to block my immediate relatives 95% of the time since 2018 when I came out as trans and receiving my mom's re-stated rejection again two days ago I want someone who stands by me this way!
Oh damn, he properly goes into it, he's doing a full deep dive deconstruction. It sounds like he's really serious about holding nothing back in his questioning journey.
I'm genuinely happy for dav, and while I'm less optimistic about bethy, it was truly sweet to see how they love and support each other. I hope their journey continues and we see so much growth
I love your videos. They are so soothing and comforting.
You helped heal the inner overly sheltered homeschool child within me and im so happy that im able to relate to you. ❤
I hope it was an ELCA church that they switched to, not the more fundie LCMS one. If they're still in a fundie church of some kind, I feel certain that the church will pressure her to leave him, and if she doesn't, it'll kick them both out. Both of which of course are very painful. But their marriage and faith might survive if it's a more progressive ELCA church. Fingers crossed for them.
Elly, one of my best friends did a similar thing as your friend did to you. Told me "lovingly " that God didn't want me to be trans and later asked if I couldn't just "go back" to how I was before. 😢😔
I mean it wouldn’t be complete till Porgan reacts to this video 😂
His deconstruction feels like a holiday, just like Josh Harris deconstructing felt like a holiday. Cracks of sunshine in dark times.
Loved watching your reaction to a reaction! It's especially awesome because of the way you deconstructed and how well you documented it to the point where you can recall literal thoughts (journal entries). I'd watch a billion more vids like this!
I'm so glad you're putting out your take! I thought of you a lot watching the ff video.
I literally came to comment the same thing! This popping up in my sub box was such a a pleasant surprise ❤️
Fundie Fridays, Zelph, and Antibot have all displayed a lot of empathy and compassion about this. But I kind of need to hear your brand of super-empathy right now. So thank you. 💕 Hope you're doing well!
😂 pickle ball for the Lord OMG that's classic
Your dog is adorable!
Ellie, you look really good. You seem happy and at peace. I hope that I am right and you are doing well. 💕
The way im so deep in reaction videos 😅
Pickle ball is like the trendy new sport that broom ball was back in the 00's.
I am adoring the layers to this whole thing. It's a reaction video to a reaction video to a reaction video. How deep will it go by the end of the week?
And yeah, wishing them the best as a couple and on their spiritual journeys.
"Small Group"....Truth on the pickleball vibe.
Small group!!! Thank you! How could I have forgotten that? 😂
The algorithm hasn't blessed my feed with your videos in a while, but you look SO happy in the thumbnail. So happy for you living your best life.
(bea arthur voice) SMALL GROUP, ELLIE, SMALL GROUP, SMALL GROUP!
Totally with you on feeling honored to be witnessing Dav's experience in real time. Many of us felt so terrified and alone when we started deconstructing- and like you, many of us began deconstructing involuntarily. I think Dav says this too, but the thoughts just start pouring in and you can't stop them. You gotta just ride it out. Man, what an honor to see someone who's such an important figurehead of modern Christianity talk about deconstructing
On "church hurt": I was relating some of the terrible things I was made to believe about myself to a friend of mine who's a strong Catholic, and she was very supportive but kept saying "I'm so sorry that people used the Bible to hurt you like that."
I understood that she wanted to be sympathetic to what I had gone through but also not acknowledge that her faith itself might be harmful. And as an atheist and secular spiritualist, I don't believe it's my place to invalidate someone else's believe system or try to talk them out of it if it really is beneficial to their lives.
In the end, I explained that as an autistic person, I am driven to follow every belief to its farthest possible conclusion. So someone else might hear "be humble" and think "I should consider other people more and not make myself the center of everything." But I hear "you should hate yourself." My "teachers" encouraged that belief, but it's still Biblical, and I wasn't necessarily wrong for coming to that conclusion. I hope it helped her see that it's not just bad people doing unbiblical things that made me an atheist. It's how I interact with that belief system, and it's not healthy for me to be in it, even though it might be good for someone else.
I feel so much compassion for Dav - my take on this, generally, is that he is yearning for authenticity, not just living the life that was proscribed for him. Living someone else's life eventually catches up with those of us who don't feel safe to even question who we are, let alone live our truth. When we are deconstructing, we are fighting against our "support systems" who go along with the script we previously aligned with, many of those people we love dearly. We face losing those people, while we figure out who we are and accept our true values and how we can live them out. I sense that his love for Bethany runs deep, and that remains regardless of how he feels about his faith; I truly hope they are able to hold on to that and build an even stronger bond, regardless of where they find themselves in their respective identities.
how can I see P & M videos without setting the RUclips algorithm?
I haven't watched your channel in a while and WOW! You look so good! I love the haircut and the glasses, they really work for you.
Love watching you and Fundie Fridays, so this was great to watch! Thank you for putting this out.
Ps your dog is absolutely adorable
Very meta title lol
It sounds like you have chosen the path of your own parent.
This is interesting. I haven’t watched girl defined but I’m happy for anyone who deconstructs their faith if that’s what they want. I’m sure glad I did and left Christianity.
You look so happy and healthy!! I hope you are doing well.
it's fun hanging out with you elly!
Your joy gives me joy! Thanks for sharing this :)
Your small group 😅
I love your hair cut and glasses! Are they new?
Pickleball is the bomb!!
Obsessed with your glasses they’re so cute
Thank you! :)
I’ve missed you!!🤩
Is there going to be a Part 2 once the battery is recharged?
boost
Hi Elly, I'm so glad to see you ❤ thanks for the video and i hope you keep moving forward
1) it's called small group! Or at least it was for me
2) love the Rob Bell joke 😅
That "buckling up"-move with the eye contact :D
I feel like I remember Dave not having been raised fundamentalist? Like that he came to it as an adult/young teen. Maybe I'm making that up
Im still watching but I'm glad youre just as elated as I was, watching this.
love and miss your videos Ellie!!! Hope you’re doing so well
So excited to see this reaction! Hope to see more, really love your perspective! ❤
I love your content Ellie, hope you are having a nice weekend!!
Yay! I'm so glad to see you! You look great by the way! ❤
Thank you! :)
Hey great to see you again Elly!
Omg I’m so excited ❤
I’d love to see a part two!
Yessssss
Curse you, camera battery! Great video as usual. And don't worry, I got that Rob Bell joke.
Yay, I’m so glad someone got it! 😆
So sad, imo.