"I was damaged from the start" hit me right in the feelings. I know it sounds really negative, but sometimes acknowledging that you had a disadvantage from the get go lifts a huge weight off your shoulders.
Society isn’t built for us, it’s been built by & for the able along with their construct of what they deem “normal.” 🙃 At least there’s been some progress made, though there’s plenty of room for improvement.
same, it honestly feels validating to recognize how much of a negative effect this can have. Like yeah, there are good sides too and I really appreciate those, but my life would have been much much easier if I didn't have ADHD or if I at least had known sooner
@@namtellectjoonal7230Or...if more of the world was designed with neurodiversity in mind? Maybe adaptive changes will happen with innovation over time.
Yup. Looking back on all the shit I dealt with really changed when I realized I had playing the game of life on hard mode the whole time, and people playing it on creative mode were treating me like I was just being dramatic about it being a struggle. No, I might not be damaged, but everyone else seemed to be playing with buffs I didn't know how the hell they were accessing, until it turned out I'd been playing with a handicap the whole time and things clicked into place. I did REALLY WELL. For an adhd person. Not for a neurotypical person, though I did *okay* by that standard by sheer force of will, but by the standard of "keeping my brain on task is like doing mental marathon training with no rest days"? I did incredible, and I can be proud of that even if it makes me sad at the same time.
@@titaniastinkerings Ah, another side of Hyperfocus: 1: Someone/People say you can’t do a thing… AKA: “[Your name], no.” 2: A primal urge to disprove this person/people is all you know… AKA: You: “[Your name], yes!” 3: Self-competition also helps you accomplish the thing if it’s a mid-long term goal/marathon to the finish. 4: Congrats. You did the thing! 5: It may not matter to you if the naysaying person/people aren’t there to see the result of your labor(s), which it’s best ‘cuz the end result was more important to you & that matters so much more than an “in your face,” as it was a self-affirming “yes, I can.” ✨🌟🥳🌟✨
Jessica deciding to stim openly instead of off-camera or cutting it out makes me really happy- it's something my friends and myself have been doing a lot more lately and seeing that unbridled ADHD/ASD joy is just so comforting
Everyone in my life will notice my stimming and tell me to stop/shame/make a joke of it to the point that when I see other people doing it I get anxious for them. So coming across this comment was really nice to see.
@@krose6451 Aww ty!!! And yeah I get told to stop often and that I'm "embarassing" other people- I do not enjoy this and tend to do it more just to spite them lol
I loved this too. It was hard for me sensorywise to watch because too visually stimulating but it warms my heart when I see someone stimulating proudly.
Having a lot of invisible illnesses really can be frustrating and of course difficult to get them all diagnosed. Congrats to you and everyone in this community reading this dealing with invisible illness.
It was SO freeing to find out I have ADHD. To know that my struggles were so real and because my brain is wired differently - not because I’m lazy or garbage. My therapist asked me why I wanted a diagnosis and my response was validation. I hear you. I see you. Welcome to the club!
Welcome to the ADHD club. I’ve seen a lot of online chatter about ‘everyone has (insert condition) these days’ and I’ve got some points for the naysayers… One, if you’ve got ADHD, you’ve always had it, it’s not something someone just “gets” one day Two, I think that it’s not that we all want to have some condition, but that we want understanding. “Why can I not do this? How come they remember and I don’t? I need to do that, but my brain won’t let me!” Etc etc As an ADHDer, I find it helpful to have the terminology and understanding of how my brain functions in its own atypical way, and that knowledge helps me to structure my life and such in ways that might be unusual to some, but are more effective for me. This is a soapbox I’ll always hop on - Most folks aren’t looking for an illness or label - they are looking for answers and for help. My speculation is that after the pandemic and various other stressful events we’ve all ridden out in the last decade or two, people are more aware of their mental health and are seeking care. That’s why everyone “suddenly” has a diagnosis… for the thing they’ve always had 🤷🏻♀️
Well said.❤ I learned about the pervasive co-occurrence of "neurodivergence" while researching my congenital cardiopulmonary condition with the effects of covid, ( brain fog), in mind. Surprise: in the last decade, lots of research has backed up the connection between heart and brain functioning. (I had tried to test for ADD twenty years ago, at 18. In hindsight, I see how that was not a full assessment at the time, and am trying to get a fuller confirmation after my pediatric cardiologist offered his agreement about discoveries on this. He claims he now tells the adults in the lives of his patients that they would benefit from learning about ADHD and/ or autism, etc, as another way to support these children as much as possible. ❤)
@@lizhyink5636 About “not getting a full assessment” - ADHD still has some serious stereotypes in pop culture AND the medical community. It’s easy to miss if they only look for the stereotype. I spotted it in my niece as soon as she was able to walk and talk. She’s physically unable to focus or stay still. Arguably the most severe ADHD I’ve seen, but that’s what they expect when you mention ADHD. If you are mostly functional and doing alright at work/school, a lot of drs blow right by it as a possibility. ADHD is often viewed by how we impact the world around us: forgetful, distracted, disruptive and so on. ADHD needs more medical study and attention to how the world impacts us instead. Over or under stimulated, how we cope, and I’d say most importantly the “mental environment” inside our head. That’s ADHD, the outward stuff they see is just symptoms of the internal chaos.
Honestly, it IS a pretty common diagnosis, but i think that’s just because it IS that common. i know it’s a hot take lol, but it really seems like ADHD is less ‘divergent’ of a condition than people think, like, it’s pervasive enough that it hardly makes sense to consider it an aberrant state from the nebulous parameters of ‘neurotypical’. I do think it’s a condition worth treating, for the sake of quality of life. Alas, you can’t really get help for something unless it’s pathologized 😫
I too got my diagnosis after the pandemic! It was so much easier to get once I didn't have to commute to work. The commute hours saved let me spend those on being seen by a professional.
That was me! Actually, I was told when I was young, but I was religious homeschooled in the southern United States and was told that I "would have been diagnosed with it if I was in school" with an overtone of it being probably a fake thing and at least not a big deal. In college, the first real stage of life outside of my family culture, I think it must have been the perfect level of stimulation in different topics and moving around between buildings and interacting with a lot of people and doing a lot of different things. I was a really high achiever and feeling really optimistic about my future job prospects. Office jobs were terrible for me. I excelled during training, I would learn quickly, understand things readily, and then once I was told to do the same basic job tasks everyday for months and years, I couldn't do it. I was trying to drag my brain through the day, the simpler and easier the task, the harder I found to do it reliably. And then anxiety fucked it further from there. I managed to get a good job at a university, which is what I had dreamed about since I graduated since I loved being at University. And I just couldn't do it. It was completely crushing. Then I tried someone's Ritalin and it made me sleepy. And that's not how a neurotypical brain responds to Ritalin. People with ADHD can find stimulants sedating in some cases, you see. That's what made me actually take it seriously (not my own subjective experience, just the objective experience of a nonstandard medication response) that I probably actually have severe ADHD.
Absolutely! I'm confident the only reason my inattentive type ADHD was found early was because my brother was *very* hyperactive, so we both got tested.
Beyond that as well, this will help many men and other kinds of nonwomen; bcuz these tradtly gender stereotyped norms of ADHD do indeed cross the boundaries of each other Theres a lot of men who have no idea theyre ADHD for the same reasons as the majority of women who are ADHD dont know until much later in life, if at all Among trans and nonbinary ppl, it can be rly common for their neurodivergence to skew away from their assigned gender; often more in line with their true gender feels stereotyped presentation Myself, i very much presented my ADHD in a way much unalike my brothers, who both got dxd as young kids, which meant mine went entirely unnoticed; even decades before i figured out i was trans and very much not a boy
@@curiousfirelyIm so glad to hear they tested the sibling in your case there. Idk if the inheritability rate was known when i was a kid, but prty much all my siblings got dxd ADHD or Autistic and yet no one ever thowt to test me bcuz i was a quiet reserved shy kid; not an autistic or ADHD kid given the stereotypes of the early 90s
For my ADHD and Autistic brain, watching you actively stimming (in case you did not know, that is what those hand motions are called) is both hypnotizing and helping me stay focused on your video because there are now three sources of movement - your face (which is very expressive and beautiful), the subtitles, and your hands. Thank you for including them.
Welcome to the club of late diagnosed ADHD ❤️ I was only diagnosed a few months ago at the age of 33 after becoming a mom and working through a lot of childhood trauma. A lot of people asked me why I even wanted to know it, because „I have it together now, so why bother“ - well yes, but I can finally heal my inner child who thought she was utterly broken all this time. So many things make sense now! Oh, and I realize now that most of my favourite content creators have ADHD - what a coincidence 😄 Anyways - thank you for your openness!!
That is almost my story exactly! After becoming a mom at 29, I was finally like, “Okay, it’s too hard to mask and function using my previous coping skills. Something is wrong.”😂
I was diagnosed after my first grandchild was diagnosed. Treatment helped. But, by then I was 55. Imagine learning what it’s like to think before you speak at 55.
Diagnoses are important. Cause 1. You realise you are not alone, other people struggle with what you struggle with too. 2. You learn it is not your fault. 3. You can get informed about what other people helped who suffered under the condition.
wow that ... sounds exactly like my story now! i am 30 and currently have been diagnosed after being in postpartum depression and resurficing trauma. I find it difficult to accept that at times i failed... it is due to that. like jessica said with the university thing... which was so lovely! But i havent come to that point yet where i see what i archieved though! thank you for your post!!! it helps feel less alone
I think the best part of diagnosis is just realising you aren’t a fundamentally shameful/broken neurotypical person, you’re actually just normal for someone neurodivergent! And that’s okay! Shifting my goals away from conformity at all costs & towards self-love, self-determination and joy is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself, and it’s lovely not to be alone in that! Sending you love & solidarity Jessica!
I felt hollow and broken for decades until I finally found out that I had reasons for "being wrong". When I found out I had ADHD and Autism and everything made sense and I finally got to feel whole.
Yeah. These perspective shifts do take time, and internalized shame takes practice to work through. Another channel also addressed that well, "ADHD Love", and the married couple that put the videos together also have a book about radical acceptance and love called, Dirty Laundry.
Hahaha. The comorbidity is indeed that common! I still can’t believe I came to this channel from a video about your deafness, then was like “oh cool she’s queer too,” and then “oh fellow lover of vintage fashion”, then eventually realized I too have EDS and POTS. And now you have ADHD too!
Same! I found her through her chronic illness videos and then learned the rest. I am also queer, a lover of vintage fashion, ADHD/Autistic, and have dysautonomia 😅
I'm not deaf, but got late diagnosed with ADHD, provably autistic, found out years after I started following Jessica, for her vintage style, history content, also being queer AND a redhead by choice huh... and always loved her city and moved here too! ❤
oh my god this has actually hit me so hard emotionally-- "internal" hyperactivity, the dissociation, the just feeling so lost because of how much there is inside your brain :-( i've always just felt a little silly and like i was maybe less intelligent or too sensitive because of all of it but. this made me feel so seen
Watching all my favourite female RUclipsrs get diagnosed with ADHD is really something else. We really flock together😂 I am currently trying to get diagnosed but I've been told twice, by ADHD professionals, that my grades were too good as a child so therefore I couldn't have had it as a child. Despite me telling them that I didn't have to study for that and that I still forgot my homework all the time and I still struggled. It's so exhausting.
Yeah I feel you. The whole 'grades are the first to suffer' is just so infuriating. Both because it can be a coping skill to at least have some control/feeling of being capable in life. But also HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT MY GRADES WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN EVEN BETTER IF I HAD HAD THE RIGHT SUPPORT?! (Sorry for caps, it just really hits a nerve)
AFAB children do not present ADHD the same as low melanin boys. AuDHD AFAB children are astronomically under diagnosed, due to extreme bias in healthcare. The way AFAB children are socialized, and have expectations forced upon them, and all deviations from expectations are blamed on "hysteria" further preventing accurate diagnosis, much less getting us needed support. Most of us received ABA therapy from our parents, teachers, and school administrators **without** ever having an ABA therapist (if we were lucky. ABA is abuse). My therapist (who is on the spectrum) is the one who helped me finally (after I turned 50) get accurate Dx. Turns out I am not bipolar (big surprise, since none of the meds worked for me), nor do I have borderline personality disorder. I absolutely do deal with autism, ADHD, and I have severe C-PTSD (much of my ongoing PTSD is due to medical gaslighting)... .a common co-morbidity for both autism spectrum disorder and ADHD.
My ADHD went unnoticed until I had tried and failed to get my bachelor multiple times. I breezed to my education levels before that with little work. It was only at the end my diagnosis was made and the more I've learned about it, the more things have fallen into place.
I was on the honor roll in high school, and I finally got diagnosed after self-diagnosing during my oldest child's diagnosis. It explains a lot and I am convinced that I would not have as many issues with depression and anxiety if I had been diagnosed when I was young. Those so-called "ADHD professionals" don't know what they are talking about. A large percentage of those with ADHD are quite smart.
Your story about your psychiatrist reminded me of probably the most memorable session I had with my first therapist. I was in 11th grade, my first year away from home (boarding school just for last 2 years of high school) and while I had always had some anxiety, particularly social anxiety, it was significant enough that year to be affecting my grades (which of course is what made it worth addressing haha) and was beginning to edge into agoraphobia. And she was asking me how a typical day went, and I started with, "In the morning, I go to the cafeteria and eat breakfast." "Do many other kids eat breakfast in the cafeteria?" "Not as many as at lunch, but yeah." "That's very brave of you." And I just stared at her for a minute. I don't think anyone had ever called me brave before. I had been focusing on the meals I did skip, on the moments the fear overwhelmed me, and discounted all the moments I pushed through because "that's just what everyone does." But not everyone struggled with agoraphobia. I was being brave, but her telling me that was the first time I actually believed it. I'm still not great at being kind to myself, but I think without something like that moment it would've been impossible. It was really the first time I realized I didn't necessarily have to judge myself by the standard of "what other people can do."
I has this with my therapist too! Was going more for my agoraphobia due to a shit year i had but i came in the session whispering like (i did it!) and after we were talking she was like ‘oh what was it like coming in here’ and i was like ‘oh well, i was nervous coming in here, and then there was people in the waiting room and i was like AH’ and she was like ‘you’re actually really brave for doing that’ and i was like ‘for coming in? Omg thank you 🥰’
Relate so hard to that “they’re not careless mistakes!!!!” That reminds me of when I forget what I wanted to say, and someone else says, “it must not have been important!” Ugh makes my stomach churn
I have an adult diagnosis of Autism and ADHD along with EDS and Celiac. I had suspected at the age of 16 that I was neurodivergent, but that was the early 1980’s and nobody was diagnosing girls back then. My diagnosis was so freeing. It answered so many questions and has helped me to no longer feel like a failed neurotypical. Welcome to the family!
my best friend, and the person who has designated himself my Carer (he makes sure i eat, i drink, I remember to shower, take my meds, don't stay up too late... and is also slowly training me to learn to function on my own at 34 years) is Autistic. HIs mother spent 4 days with me, and she asked her son why he didn't tell her I was Autistic. I looked confused. he started laughing. becuase he'd seen it for years. and i never realized it might be part of why i was struggling so badly.
There is actually a paper on connective tissue and neurodivergence called "Joint Hypermobility Links Neurodivergence to Dysautonomia and Pain" published by Frontiers in Psychiatry
Watching you cry out of the kindness of the therapist who told you you did well made me want to give you a hug!! Jessica, you're such an wonderful human being. I really hope finding out about ADHD helps you from now on.
I was so moved when Rupert was responding to the tears at dinner. 🥺 “Mama sad. Mama crying. Mama hug?” 🥹 This sweet small toddler is more observant and caring than many adults. Mama deserves to feel proud, of herself and her family ♥️
Welcome to the club!! I got my ADHD (Combined Type) diagnosis at 29. I had no idea growing up. And now, this year, at 33, I got my formal Autism diagnosis. The overlap for both with EDS is super common. ADHD medication changed my life, and actually helped a lot with my EDS and POTS symptoms - turns out when your brain isn't on fire all the time, everything hurts less. If you notice any sensory sensitivity symptoms getting 'worse' or more pronounced after starting ADHD medication, it is worth looking at Autism as well, because having both is actually far more common than people realise (again, especially with EDS!!).
@@SilverSkylark yes I feel the same way. Anyone who gets an EDS diagnosis should be immediately referred for assessment for ADHD/ASD. And anyone presenting for an ADHD/ASD assessment who also experiences chronic pain and joint hypermobility should be sent for an EDS assessment. It would save so much time, so much pain!
Not just EDS even, also simply joint hypermobility has this overlap afaik. So a standard of ADHD/ASD assessment even if it isn’t EDS would be good too.
This. Late diagnosed autistic + ADHD and I also have specialists who think I have fibromyalgia due to all my joint/muscle pain and nothing coming up in blood tests to imply things like arthritis or lupus. Buuuuut… I’m also hypermobile so… 🤷🏻♀️
So glad you were finally diagnosed correctly! My daughter wasn’t diagnosed until college and once she was, she said so much of her life made so much more sense! ❤️It gave her a sense of relief.
So glad for your daughter! And so glad she has a supportive parent, watching videos like this to better understand it 💕 Honestly, I hope it was a relief for you as well. As someone’s ADHD daughter myself lol, I imagine it might be a relief to know that some of her behaviors and struggles had nothing to do with your parenting
@@LuckyBones77 it’s tricky right? I was glad that we had her tested and it definitely explained a lot of things about her and that it was just how her brain worked. In retrospect, I was in awe at how she adapted and got through her childhood. But man did we feel terrible that we did not realize it sooner and did not have her tested her sooner. This is why I love Jessica so much, she brings awareness to people about so many things. Her videos are so useful and helpful!
@@jennifers5560 That IS tricky, but if you did your best to support her through those struggles, I think that is SO much more important. Even with an early diagnosis, my mother still called me lazy, rude, impatient, careless, thoughtless, etc… all to do with my ADHD symptoms. My ADHD had nothing to do with her parenting, but my depression sure did 😬
@@LuckyBones77 ❤️I am so sorry that you went through that with your Mother. For what it’s worth, this Mom understands that you are not lazy, rude, impatient, careless, thoughtless, etc. ❤️
I was raised by a mother with undiagnosed adhd and autism, and I have 2 older siblings on my dad's side that had OBVIOUS adhd. Looking back I can understand why my family didn't recognize my Inattentive Type ADHD, but I developed pretty severe depression trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Didn't start getting treated for the root cause of my depression until I was 27. Hoping that as a SPED Teacher I can help catch these diagnosis in young kids, and be the advocate I wish that I had had when I was little.
I'm 34 and just begining my mental health Journey. I completely understand. I keep feeling like i need to be better NOW. because i'm 34 and i should have everything together already. but i need to really understand that these things take time...
Keep going on that track! It was my Grade 2 teacher (who also had adhd) who recognized the symptoms in me and let my parents know. She's the reason both my mother and I got diagnosed (my mother, obviously as an adult). Good teachers really can change your life😊 Much love from South Africa 🇿🇦
One of my mum's reasons for homeschooling me was my 4th grade teachers suggested I be tested for adhd. She was one of those parents who were afraid that schools were trying to get more students diagnosed with ADHD to get more tax money. The teachers explained their reasoning, what signs they had noticed, and mum told me later she dismissed them because, "Psh, that's how everyone's brain works!" Only after I went and got myself diagnosed, a few years ago, did I put that together. Watching her now, knowing so much more about ADHD, I'm almost certain she has it, too, so of course she'd think everyone's brain worked that way if that's how HERS works. To any parents on the fence re: your children, please don't dismiss concerns. It might not be ADHD, and that's fine. But if it is, being able to understand WHY my brain behaves how it does was liberating. I managed fine in school, but I had to work REALLY REALLY hard to get the meh grades I got. I have a lot of regret at how much better I could have been, with time left over for other stuff. Even without school and work concerns, I would 100% take my meds daily because I can actually choose to stop hyperfocusing on things. I used to actually put myself in actual pain because I wouldn't/couldn't stop. I can actually focus on a task that requires me to go into a different room because, although I still see the other things I need to do, I don't lose the original thought and refocus on the thing my eye landed on. It's real. Treat it as such, please. Your children will thank you.
when i was a child a doctor told my parents that i had traits of adhd but 'it'd probably pass'. recently i found out he said that because i was a girl. yes it did "pass": i found coping mechanisms that made me not bother others and all my teens i was described as 'kind of clumsy' and 'with her head in the clouds'. now I'm trying to save money to get a private diagnosis and finally get professional help
women are often forced to "mask" and it can be a decades long journey later in life to attempt to "unmask" and become your authentic and comfortable self. I'm working on it now. and it's not easy at all.
Wow, great timing! I literally was diagnosed last month. I was so scared of my doctor dismissing me as an adult woman, but he was amazing. Needless to say, I "passed" with flying colours! I'm still struggling to accept the diagnosis. Part of me keeps wondering, "What if I tricked my doctor somehow??", even though my symptoms are really, really obvious and I have family members with ADHD. Hopefully it'll get easier soon! Thanks for sharing your story.
I got assessed and diagnosed like half a year ago and I still think like that. I even cancelled my medicine trial because of it. I felt like I was cheating just to get the meds. But now I have booked a new appointment (in two weeks!!!) and I will force myself to go, because I deep down know it is the only thing that can help me atp
“Jessica has found success, love, and family in her life, and so will I!”- a new mantra I’m going to try, starting right now Thank you for such a vulnerable video. We love you so much!
I also got diagnosed as an adult. Congratulations and welcome to the #ADHD family! We'll definitely get you your welcome materials... eventually... when we remember...
Noooo don’t call us ALL out on the memory issues 😂 I got VERY lucky and got diagnosed at 8 years old, but with treatments in the 90s being largely designed and tested for primarily-hyperactive young males, it took until adulthood for me to get treatment that REALLY helped.
Or we'll remember fairly frequently, but just never have the executive function to find the file, open it, print it - oh wait, the printer's out of paper, and the ink is low, and we forgot to buy both, but anyway - then mail it - where are the envelopes? Why are the stamps not here? Better go buy stamps, only to find that we put them in the envelope box, because then we can't lose them! Oh crud, now we need to find the time to go to the post office, which may take several attempts until we actually remember to bring the envelope with us, but holy cow it's international and how do we mail this internationally omg it's all wrong do we need to start over-
And when you do get them, they’ll be the BEST welcome materials to ever be made. They’ll be PERFECT and UNIQUE because we are GIFTED AND SPECIAL (at least this is what we have sometimes been told). AND, we must do extra work to make-up for the lateness. Unfortunately, the pressure we’ve put on ourselves to make them perfect means we will not be able to even open our computers for a while. But don’t worry, we’ll eventually hyperfocus on them! If we manage to convince ourselves they’re done, we’ll move into the task mgmt struggle (please see @TheIamyourmother comment above 😅).
1) Congratulations on figuring out a new diagnosis (that really should be a category of greeting card, don't you think? It could be filed next to "happy graduation!" cards in bookshops). 2) I prefer "Disability *Pride* " to Disability 'Awareness' (awareness implies some sort of lurking danger -- 'beware,' aka 'be aware.' Pride is all about claiming our space). 3) in 2020, The Human Rights Campaign conducted a survey on the overlap between people who identified as LGBTQ and those who identified as Disabled, and found that over a third (36%) of LGBTQ people identified as Disabled, compared to under a quarter (24%) of cis het people identifying as Disabled. And the majority of that larger group are disabled people who are neurodiverse.
I feel this pain so much. I'm 18 months into the waitlist for an autism assessment because indefinitely don't have the 2k to go private but it's so hard to get people to take you seriously without an official diagnosis.
Oh man I'm sorry it's so difficult for you to go privately in your area 😔 my friend got it for less than £200 but that's still a huge barrier for many, especially students, kids, etc
The other issue is that if you get a private diagnosis and require medication in addition to coping mechanisms, you may not be able to get it via nhs without nhs diagnosis. So be careful. I am now 19 months into a 15 month list with still not even an appointment, having passed two triage assessments to get on the blasted list.
I love how common it is to be diagnosed by Peer Review. Also, thank you for not editing around your stimming, especially while talking about a topic that's obviously been stressful and upsetting. I know that for myself, letting myself rock/fidget/flap/stim makes it infinitely easier to handle whatever my brain is going through, good or bad, and it's certainly something that's helpful for others. Letting it be visible was extremely generous of you.
I'm so glad you made this video! Rowan's video gave me the courage to get evaluated and at the age of 26 I got diagnosed with ADHD and autism. I completely agree with knowing where your danger zones are now and giving myself more grace. Funnily enough, my students (I'm a teacher) weren't surprised and were actually some of my biggest cheerleaders when I was wrestling with imposter syndrome before my evaluation.
I can't wait for the day that all of us neurodivergents finally know about our unique brains and can truly understand ourselves. I'm positive that our numbers are far greater than anyone currently estimates.
Hey, ADHD Pal! So, I'm just gonna let you know that Jessica McCabe/HowtoADHD RUclips channel is REALLY helpful and validating, especially when I was rediscovering what ADHD was for me (like the number of times I've cried because I felt so SEEN is innumerable). It's lovely to have because Jessica's always releasing videos that talk about a specific thing in ADHD (so you learn a lot), she also has ADHD herself, and she's also a Jessica. So I'd recommend her!
I was thinking the same thing. That channel helped me to better understand the ADHD part of my brain. I know they aren't parts, but it helps me decipher between ASD and ADHD traits and which one is more in control at any given point. I have to say, after watching a lot of ADHD channels, and a lot of ASD channels, I kind of feel like the AuDHD combo is so helpful, although I am still extremely odd person in the NT world.
I started following Jessica of How to ADHD before I found out I was on the autistic spectrum. I wanted to learn more about adhd because I recognised some of the traits, especially being dreamy and inattentiveness. And she explains it so well, very organised and not too long. At that time I had a burn out and her videos were not that long and very practical. I still follow her.
That conversation about success in college (university for you ☺️) is one I’ve had a couple times with therapists or friends and it’s so affirming. When we have ADHD, especially undiagnosed, we are made to focus on our deficits all the time. Your whole life is preoccupied with trying to “live up to your potential” and mitigate your shortcomings that you almost never recognize that you’re accomplishing SO MUCH .
I got diagnosed with ADHD at 22, the summer after I graduated from college with my bachelor's degree. I'm so glad you shared what the specialist said to you about getting through college because that rang true for me as well. It was very hard, and I didn't make it to all my classes or get all the best grades, but I did it. 😊
Welcome to the club! We have forgotten alarms, messy rooms, and lifetimes of self-worth issues! But seriously, it's awesome of you to share this, and I hope your diagnosis brings you clarity, even if it is late.
I am a woman and I grew up in Florida in the 80's. My ADHD symptoms were so distracting my school had me diagnosed. Unfortunately I did not have a functioning support system and nothing came of it and I dropped out of school in the 9th grade. I joined the Navy and went to college so everything turned out better than expected. I understand the daily struggles and I am glad you have finally gotten an understanding into why you are the way you are. It is such an amazing feeling to know you aren't just some sort of human shaped failure. We love you, Jessica!
I’m a woman who grew up in Florida in the 90’s also diagnosed young and nothing came of it no meds or any coping mechanisms so other than my parents telling the teachers and some extra time the diagnosis was kind of useless honestly the only reason I graduated was my parents being there to tell the teachers to work with me but because I had no coping mechanisms or help to figure things out I failed out of college ❤
@@tarynriver Greetings!! And a big hug, sis! ❤The Florida school system is and always has been an utter joke. All they ever did was put me in an SLD (slow learning disorder) class with a bunch of boys with worse behavioral problems than me. We have ADHD, we aren't stupid. I dropped out and couch surfed for a while. I immediately became a young mother in the navy but was able to finish my enlistment (by the hair of my teeth). I stupidly moved back to Florida with my child. My son has autism. The school system failed him as well. I had no reference for how things were supposed to go and he was just like me as a kid. The best thing I ever did was move to Virginia. My son graduated with an honors diploma!
@@ItsBrandiFolseYo I feel this my son is very smart and I’m looking into private school even though I can’t really afford it as a single mom because the Florida school system is horrible and he’s bored and I don’t want him To hate school
@@tarynriver I wish I could tell you what to do or give some clever advice! I still struggle with my everyday life and all I did was get lucky that I got a job in a state that figured out my sons issue for me. I wish you all the luck in the world!
Welcome to the ND club! We have fun here. And thank you for not cutting out out all your stimmy fidgety gestures, normalizing that does so much good for all of us!
I'm so happy for you. Finally getting a diagnosis that allows you to actually UNDERSTAND and look at so much in your life that used to just be a 'you're the problem' sort of thing and getting to know IT'S NOT YOU, it's just that your brain is a little different from other people, AND THAT'S OKAY, is such a liberating experience. I am really glad to hear you've found a medication that works for you. I remember when I first got on proper meds for my ADHD as a teenager, it was such an eye opening experience like 'oh my gosh, THIS is what it's like to have a brain that WORKS?' I hope you can continue to be positive, empowered, and proud of who you are going forward. Welcome to the community!!
Welcome to the ADHD (late diagnosis) club! It can be a whirlwind but I’ve never regretted it and accept myself more than I ever have before. You have a wonderful ADHD life ahead of you!
Ayyyyy I also have ADHD. I got diagnosed at 24, and it was a massive weight off my shoulders. Finally getting the support i needed from other ADHD folks and from medication was a huge relief, I hope the support of the community helps you the way it helped me! - Sincerely, a fellow late-diagnosed sapphic.
As a chronically ill person with ADHD and Autism (and some other stuff aaaaa) this means a lot for me to see. You keep helping us (me & my system) understand ourselves better
I was diagnosed at 26 and it was such a freeing, empowering experience for me too because suddenly it was “oh, I wasn’t just a bad/useless person, my brain is wired differently!” Sending you so much love, so pleased you now have answers and help ❤
I've been investigating an ADHD diagnosis for a year now. Problem is, the second I say "I've been diagnosed with PTSD, an anxiety disorder, and depressive disorder", that's all they can focus on. I've tried pointing out that a lot of my anxiety comes FROM ADHD symptoms impacting on my life, but they can't seem to look at them as discrete events. Next attempt, I'm going to not mention it until after I've explained my experience and see if they adjust their opinion instantly or not. I put my money on yes. *sigh*. I'll get there eventually.
@@LuckyBones77 In my neurodivergent opinion it works because it's easier to have someone who gets things (like sensory issues) without needing a ted talk for context (that plus adhd and autism share some symptoms).
Thank you thank you thank you for allowing yourself to "un-mask" for the camera. Your honestly and willingness to make yourself vulnerable to your audience is so very appreciated. I'm another ADHD lady who was diagnosed later in life. It can feel like a relief and a regret at the same time. Relief in knowing there's a concrete reason for your brain to act like this, regret because you spent so much time being misunderstood without knowing exactly why. I've loved your videos because of how many people feel seen and validated by having something unusual about them acknowledged; I never imagined that I was going to feel so validated myself by being understood. Thank you for all you do for others.
I have ADHD and autism. Time blindness is a big thing. Also, object permanence. Out of sight, out of mind... ppl places and things. Love you, your family and videos! Thank so much for all you do 🤗
Try putting an app on your phone that rings or vibrates every hour. Especially if you can have it pushed through to a wearable device. I have Blip Blip, set to cuckoo clock, and it helps a lot with the time blindness.
Jessica I started crying when you were talking about how lovely the clinical psychologist was. When I got my diagnosis I bawled my eyes out because I for the first time in my life felt validated in my experience and like there wasn't something inherently wrong with me for struggling to do seemingly simple things. It's so empowering to know what is going on in your brain and that you're not alone.
you know what... at first i was like "oh a video about adhd ... jeah i have recently been diagnosed too, i know its chaos in the brain but i barely notice it ... i wont bother." but then i watched it... and i realise... i never really acknowldged my struggles as that what it is... adhd symptoms. i just saw them as failures of mine... and me being... less...but not me being struggling with something. Thank you!! the empowering words from your therapist were so... wonderful!!
I have both autism and ADHD, but wasn't diagnosed with either until my mid twenties. For me, the autism diagnosis in particular was such a relief. I finally had a "why." I'd asked myself that so many times over the years. Why am I like this? And finally I had an answer. I'm glad you found your "why."
I related to this video a lot. I got diagnosed with autism at 28 and it was such a revelation. It was so freeing to have an explanation for my struggles. It was recognition that I was trying my best, but my brain just isn't suited for certain things.
“People with this condition find this hard. Obviously it was hard for you.” Validation like that is priceless. ❤️❤️❤️ I find you to be the least “useless,” most useful person ever. You were the one who taught me that I was disabled and not to be ashamed of it. Do you know your enneagram type? Certain personalities find being helpful more important than others. Wow did this video come at such a lovely time for me. A little over a month ago I was “officially” (I’ve know since I was 15, I’m 43 now) diagnosed with ADHD because I wanted to try meds (after being terrified of them because of my other health conditions for years.) I was so excited to hear you talk about how the meds have affected (dare I say helped?) your other health conditions. I decided to try them after I read that ADHD individuals with co-morbid Fibro/CF (one of my diagnosis’s is hypermobility spectrum disorder/dysautonomia) found relief from their pain as well as the normal ADHD symptoms. (My doctor says Autism/ADHD may be forms of dysautonomia and I have found that the meds have helped with my dysautonomia symptoms by raising my blood sugar and blood pressure (unfortunately that has also been causing headaches…because: craniosacral instability.) However, I didn’t realize the meds would be helping me with my emotional regulation and I’m so happy they do. BTW making rules for yourself and then manually regulating yourself takes a lot of energy. I suspect many of my health problems are exasperated by the stress/effort of suppressing my impulses. Have you found that the meds have helped with needing to suppress your behaviors less or helped with your memory? (Those were other effects I was hoping for.) I got a 94% for visual IQ (It’s also related to non-verbal understanding: so I like to think of it as wisdom) but 4% for memory. I am also very good at Tetris and don’t understand why anyone would have trouble with drawing in perspective but please don’t ask me to remember anything. Haha Jessica thank you so much for sharing this video and titling it the way you have. I make art/travel related videos and I’ve been thinking about making a “coming out” video for a long time about my physical and mental health issues. I’ve been afraid to call it a coming out video but now I feel more comfortable. Sorry for creating such a long comment but I’m just so excited about your video and I have so much to say.
I've been doing a program for dysautonomia and have seen an improvement in my negative ADHD and ASD symptoms, while seeming to maintain many of the more positive aspects of each. (Also seeing great improvement in nervous system regulation and dysautonomia symptoms, if anyone was wondering). I wish I could go back in time and gift myself all this knowledge/work.
@@kristelfae5054 sure, it's called Primal Trust. I can't say enough good things about it. It's helped more than just my dysautonomia. Best decision I've ever made.
Hey fellow neurospicy friend! I appreciate you so much. I’m so sorry some people were rude. You deserve better than that. You’re amazing and I’m glad you’ve gotten greater self-understanding.
I grew up with a diagnosis but was kept from knowing other diagnosed kids. And I was adopted by neurotypical parents as an infant. You making a video....just about your ADHD did something amazing for my inner child. Thank you ❤️
The "seeking a referral" section at 16:30 felt like a friendly punch to the face. I've been considering it for years at this point, but well I guess the next appointment with my therapist is the time I'm going to suggest getting tested for ADHD. Sharing stories like this is so important, thank you Jessica
Seeing someone do the same exact hand movements i do and was told not to do as a kid. Made me really emotional. It oddly made me not alone. Never feel bad about being youeself fully. Also i related to a lot of this video as a trans man. Afab folks really get overlooked for this stuff. Thank you for sharing!!
Im a female who got diagnosed at 30... im 32 now. My GP suggested I get tested. I also have POTS and hypermobility.. i also have chronic pain and a bunch of other health conditions....So I feel you ❤
pots and connective tissue disorders have big overlaps with neurodevelopmental disorders like adhd and autism, which as someone with ALL I think its super interesting
Oof, the hitting sentence for me was "I can forgive myself". Yup. That's what diagnosis(es) helped me the most with. Thank you so much for everything Jessica. Your whole channel is showing the beautiful human you are and it's SO enriching to see you discover yourself through it ❤️ You're a role model to me on so many points 🙏🏻
University was a massive struggle for me too, one that I unfortunately didn't manage to get a diploma out of. Hearing about what the specialist said to you made me cry too. Heck, *I* feel seen, and I'm not even officially diagnosed or the one it was directed at! What a wonderful practicioner. I hope she is valued in her job the way she deserved.
Have the best Disability Awareness Month, yet, Milady! ADHD has a lot of symptoms in common with PTSD contracted during the first seven years of one’s life. When you observe me for five minutes, you would say ADHD. But when you interact with me for a couple of hours, you would notice that my behaviour seems to be driven by hyper-alertness, and extreme fatigue, alternately. Most of my memories are ‘up-front’. Nothing stored on DVD, quite a bit on the harddisk, but the bulk of them are constantly on hand and at the ready, on my RAM chips. A smaal portion of the latter are the memories that make up the content of my flashbacks and re-living experiences. Flashbacks have become rare, now. I’m 61. But I have never been easily distracted. I wish I could be more easily distracted. I’d like to be able to forget more, too. I also have a weird sense of humour, expressed as ‘The silly over-done quippery of the seriously done-over’. It’s always original, but childish. Sometimes funny, mostly corny, … not exactly Joanna Lumley. I’m Belgian. English is my third language of five. I’m no genius. Only an adult, who at age eight had been in desperate need for a new language to think in. i studied as if my life depended on it, which it also did, in a way. I still have difficulty believing what people say to me, when they say it in my native language. It is the language spoken by my abusers. My second language couldn’t do the trick. Perhaps because I only used it in school, and in very very polite conversations with the oldest members of my extended family.
I work in talking therapy and i find your videos so useful. How you explain your communication and lifestyle adjustments to manage your conditions has helped me relate to and accomodate dozens of patients i might otherwise have found boundaries to communicating with. I have been able to better support patients coming out to me as a direct result of your work. You are the opposite of useless, thank you.
"My body is full of wonky cogs". As a person with multiple autoimmune disease, I so relate to this statement! It's like dominoes. Once something really starts to go wrong everything just piles on over time.
welcome to the community! (edit: i commented impulsively at the start of the video, so i just wanted to add that this was an incredibly relatable video, and a fellow late-diagnosed, also physically disabled ADHDer. I teared up and certain part and laughed out loud at others, thanks
makes sense that rereading the same sentence a zillion times bc brain go brrrr could be misdiagnosed as just being unable to visually process the sentence
So happy for you for figuring it out !! As a fellow ADHD-haver i kind of clocked it a while back and was wondering lol. Glad you're able to access some more support now that you know what's happening! Welcome to the ND club lol
Hey there. I was diagnosed at 35 last year. I spent a lifetime struggling through academia and as a professional. For decades I chalked it up to stupidity and laziness. After a lot of tears and talking to my therapist, we've found a treatment that might help me get through day to day tasks. Thanks for coming forward and sharing your story. I'm still pretty closeted about my ADHD, but I have a small network of supportive family and friends. Wishing you well ❤️🩹
Hi Moundfreak, I'd like to know about what treatment you've found, if I may ask. I can't seem to get my day to day tasks to happen the way I would like to. Help appreciated!
@@Anna_Eriksson Hi there! I'm on 10mg Adderall. It "turns off" a few of the "stations" in my brain and helps me focus at my desk job. I might still benefit from a higher dose, but I'm just happy to see some results after 35 years of struggle.
Oh my god, just the other day I saw a video of a dr talking about how correlated ADHD/autism are with hypermobility disorders and I wondered about you! Congratulations on figuring it out :)
I have autism, adhd, celiac, and hypermobility. Yes, they all seem to be related. Welcome to another comorbidity club! We love you, and you are NOT useless; absolutely the opposite!
I don't have celiac but I do have bile acid malabsorption which caused debilitating pain for literally a decade before someone figured it out, so practically twinning 😂 I was misdiagnosed as "probably celiacs" without even a colonoscopy when I explicitly asked for one 🤦
I'm autistic and hypermobile myself, and I was not aware of either of these things until I was in my 30s. I mean, I knew I had really bendy joints that damage easily, but I didn't think there was an actual reason why until I showed a nurse friend one of my "stupid party trick" human pretzel moves and she said, "Yeah, um, that's really really not normal" and directed me to talk to my GP.
Hi Jessica! I’m not an actual ADHD member, but I also had a brain damage in childhood and I’ve been diagnosed with NVLD. I’ve got a huge gap between my visuo-spatial intelligence (very low) and my verbal intelligence (high as heck). Hearing you talking about all this topics was delitious as you are very articulate and funny 🥰 Keep going 💪🏿
So... I guess I probably have ADHD? I've always struggled with executive function and focus, and because of this video I took the adult ADHD screening test and I scored well above the threshold. So, this was a very helpful video! My experiences are very similar to Jessica's: I always thought "doesn't everyone struggle with this?" "Isn't this just being normal?" But I guess it doesn't really matter if it's normal or not, it's nice to just understand myself better and put a name to a pattern and have places to go for further resources/community. Thanks for the video!
Neurodivergence + chronic illness seem to be very prevalent. I’m diagnosed with autism, ADHD combined type, OCD, GAD, ME/CFS, Fibromyalgia, HSD, PoTS & a balanced translocation (a type of chromosome disorder). As a kid people just labelled me “dramatic, over-sensitive, weird & neurotic” though 😖
So... writing this comment as the video plays, otherwise I'll get distracted and forget!!! I've recently self-diagnosed as autistic & ADHD. Have nootgone down official diagnosis route because I got medically gaslit and traumatised when I tried to get an ADHD diagnosis 10 years ago. I had been wondering about the co-incidence of EDS / HSD with neurodivergence from anecdotal evidence, so thank you for sharing that actual data on the comordity/. Also, your talking about the way your ADHD meds have helped your pain symptoms, I now want to get an official diagnosis. Thank you so much!!!!! And congratulations on the shiny new diagnosis!!!!
I haven't watched the whole video yet, but I had to smile so much when you said you had ADHD. I do too and I have been watching you since 2017 and I'm getting emotional because being understood is so valuable. Thank you for sharing, especially with your hesistancy, I appreciate it so much and also now I'm crying.
I recently got both an autism and adhd diagnosis (I went in for an autism evaluation so I guess the ADHD was buy one get one free lol) and honestly it's a big relief. I feel like I'm able to be myself more freely now.
Validation about something you feel you didn’t do well in, is such a powerful thing. You did so well, with all obstacles, you kept going. You should be proud of yourself. Succeeding isn’t doing something without struggling, it’s doing it despite struggling.
Welcome to the club, glad to have you! "No one is shocked except for me," is exactly how it felt. When I was diagnosed I would tell my friends and everyone was like "??? Yeah, we thought you knew." If I knew I'd never shut up about it???
I'm in the process of being assessed and getting a diagnosis. I think my word is 'lazy'. I'm not lazy, the thing needs doing and I want to do it, but my brain 5 minutes into 3 days and suddenly I still haven't moved those dirty clothes to the washing basket or that glass to the sink. It's borderline painful. But this is really reassuring and encouraging. Thank you Jessica 💕
Only med I've tried is Strattera. My secondary depression symptoms are SO MUCH better than they used to be. My chronic fatigue isn't as bad, and I actually have a normal amount of energy to do things most days. After a year, I'm still having trouble focusing and staying on task, but I'm scared to try stimulant medication. 😅 My tinnitus is bad enough as is, and if caffeine makes it worse I'm SURE that stimulants would probably make it worse. 😢
@@ameliacarter1377 I have tinnitus too, and don’t find it much worse on stimulants. But I definitely understand why it’s a worry. You could discuss short release stimulants to trial it over a short period of time and see what happens if you ever want to? Best wishes!
I've found this so soothing - despite being straight, pushing 70, never married, and the mother of an adult son (who is charmed by your retro vibe but feel like it's too much work - I still dress, for the most part, in "University Grunge" - jeans and T-shirts. "Dressed up" is slacks that are jeans but don't really look like it, and a blouse) I also identify with you SO MUCH. This is a large part of the reason. Oh, BTW - I'm also a Yank. 😏
I feel you I have that struggle. I am now talking to myself all the time saying " okay you are in the bathroom. Get into the shower. You are here to take a shower. Be present. ..." and so on. I am trying to have self compassion and gentleness because that being sidetracked with getting to do things I don't need to get to at the time, have been pointed out by other people and after looking at the clock, I would get mad at myself. Every day is a restart to kindness and being present, breathing to reset, and continue. About the calendar it tells me to eat!! It pops out all over the screens and I eat. Which is wonderful. A diagnosis is a label to provide some guidelines to understand an have some baseline to work on the things you need to and enjoy life as who you are. The diagnosis giving part of the description of how your brain do. You are a cool person Jessica. Give yourself some compassion and kindness. Thanks for the content!
The rundown of your university experience made me feel soooooo seen for the first time. It's been 5 years since I flaked and even to this day I haven't vocalized it to anyone, so thank you.
Thank you for leaving in your hand stimming! So validating for me to watch you be your brilliant self and stimming. When we are so shamed from an early age for stimming.
Congratulations!!! I'm autistic and my girlfriend has ADHD. So happy for you and happy to hear that one of my favorite RUclipsrs has another really cool factor about herself!! (Also I tried to copy your hand stims cause they looked fun and then had to stop cause I wasn't reading the subtitles and I can't process speech enough to watch without subtitles. Very fun hand stims though, definitely worth it.)
I was lucky to get diagnosed at around 9 years old, which only happened because my sister has severe Dyslexia, so she had to go to a psychologist to get tested. My mom took me there too, just in case. The Psychologist found out we all had ADHD. Later an uncle who is a Doctor told us, it was running in the family and he had ADHD too. I actually move my hands similar to you Jessica. I started knitting, which helps a lot, because it keeps me busy while watching tv or doing similar things while actually doing something useful. I also have the memory loss thing and I disasociate a lot. It actually calms my thoughts to just stare at things, so sometimes when I am in a conversation I can either listen or look at someone, so normally I pick listening and let my eyes look where they want to.
I finally got my diagnosis a three weeks ago. Currently trialing the meds to find the right ones. It took about a year and half from the question being raised to diagnosis, and it came with such relief. I totally understand and get everything you’ve brought up in this video. From misdiagnosis to existing health concerns, suddenly my whole life makes sense. I’ve got the combined type. Just like you said: the scariest part for me is telling other people. I know some of my friends have a very fixed, uninformed and not very nice opinion about ADHD. All of the questions like ‘what’s the point of getting a diagnosis now’ to statements like ‘everyone feels like making dinner is hard sometimes, that’s just life’ are very hard to hear. Thank you so much for making this video, it really helps to know that other people are going through this as well. And just in case there’s any doubt - I think you’re absolutely amazing.
Finally able to watch this! I was also diagnosed in 2021 and I hadn't realised how much my meds were levelling out my emotions or how much it's been helping with work... Until the meds shortage reverted me back to 2021 levels. Really hope you've not also been impacted!
Thank you so much for your openness about this journey! I can't relate to your exact circumstances, clearly, however I wasn't diagnosed with PTSD and Bipolar disorder until my late twenties. It ruined my life, and everyone just said I was irresponsible, reckless, useless, and lazy... and I believed them. Now I still struggle here and there, but I'm SO much kinder to myself, and surprisingly, so are some of the people around me. Diagnosis makes all the difference, and I'm so happy for you!
Jessica, it could be good to try therapy that doesnt make you talk about the traumatic memories, but process the feelings of trauma in your body. I agree, it's not always productive to talk about it. Thanks for making this. It makes me so happy when someone shares there adhd story, because it can be such an isolating experience
My wife had a great therapist that did just this. She never had to talk about what happened to her in the past, so she did not need to relive anything. They just talked about how things are and how she can change things now. It helped her process her relationships with her family tremendously. ❤
I'm in the process of diagnosis and oh boy that was obvious!! My family never suspected because I was "too quiet" to have it or "too smart" for it (bonus: I'm gifted). The ableism and lack of information really made my life harder, specially as I was overlooked because my 3 neurodivergent younger siblings. Thank you for making this video!! It helps a lot on self discovery and information so more people know about it!!
Oof. The not struggling so they don't notice something ND is a mood. That's definitely me. Took 15 years for diagnoses and I understand I don't fit the stereotype but I mean come on. For the past like 8 years I've been obsessed with crows and bats. When I was younger snakes and cats was all my brain would focus on. How did they not notice? Idk
I can tell this was really difficult for you to share, so thank you for coming out. I am glad you have found a medication that works for you. And sheesh, sometimes you need a new diagnosis just to understand yourself better. People asking are so silly
Hearing somebody with the same disability to get acknowledged and appreciated, even congratulated on having succeeded through the struggle made me tear up cause i could really use that Also, my "useless" is when i get called "lazy" hits me deeply and personally even when it's a supposed to be a joke
I feel so so much where you are coming from. I was also diagnosed this year with ADHD as an adult. I've been "too tired to climb a tree" for as long as I can remember and my hyperactivity is also mostly internal. Thank you so much for sharing your story and making me feel seen as a tired inattentive lovely woman!
First off, this was a very vulnerable and beautiful video and thank you for making it. Second off, I was recently diagnosed with ADHD in my mid 20s and I completely relate to everything that you said in this video. I had the same experience with the specialist that diagnosed me; she related all of my symptoms back to examples of problems that people with ADHD have and I have never (EVER) felt more validated in my life than I did in that moment. Finding out about my ADHD was an incredible experience and I hope that others are able to have the same experience. I have to say, I originally was scared about telling people. I had one person react by apologizing and immediately feeling bad for me and I had to make them feel better for me. It was an experience. Now, whenever I tell someone for the first time, I always follow it up immediately with 'please don't feel bad, it was the best thing that has ever happened to me'. Then there are people that I have told who also have ADHD and they congratulate me for having the courage to seek out a diagnoses and help. Once I got used to the ADHD label, I ended up being very open about it with a group of high schoolers that I mentored during a summer camp and I could tell that a lot of them had never actively known someone with the condition. Before telling them, I was able to show how far I've come and where I'm at today and I could tell that it helped them to grow a positive perspective on people with ADHD. Any ways, I was teary-eyed and laughing throughout a lot of this video. As a woman, the experiences you described were incredibly relatable and I appreciate your ability to laugh at moments that would typically be overwhelming or seemingly unique. It's content creators like you who really make a difference and help people by showing how much their experience is relatable, thus showing them that they are not alone in this. I have had pretty severe depression for the majority of my life and finding out that the vast majority of it (outside of external life circumstances) was due to my ADHD, really helped me to get treatment. Absolutely not a 100% cure but I've seriously never felt better. My new ability to be consistent and have the energy to be productive far more often than not has done me absolute wonders. If anyone out there is reading this and can relate, please do yourself a favor and seek help. You are not alone in this process and I wish you luck. Also, your love story with Claudia is absolutely beautiful and wholesome. It's clear that she has been very supportive during this process and I'm happy to say that my partner has been the same. I'm hyperfixating on typing this, I'm gonna end this here!
I feel you Jessica! I was late diagnosed ADHD as well- it's so much more common in us AFAB folks because we tend to appear forgetful, dreamy, and chatty rather than hyperactive & impulsive to the point of inconviencing others.
![Autism Tropes in Media [CC]](/img/1.gif)
"I was damaged from the start" hit me right in the feelings. I know it sounds really negative, but sometimes acknowledging that you had a disadvantage from the get go lifts a huge weight off your shoulders.
Society isn’t built for us, it’s been built by & for the able along with their construct of what they deem “normal.” 🙃
At least there’s been some progress made, though there’s plenty of room for improvement.
same, it honestly feels validating to recognize how much of a negative effect this can have. Like yeah, there are good sides too and I really appreciate those, but my life would have been much much easier if I didn't have ADHD or if I at least had known sooner
@@namtellectjoonal7230Or...if more of the world was designed with neurodiversity in mind? Maybe adaptive changes will happen with innovation over time.
Yup. Looking back on all the shit I dealt with really changed when I realized I had playing the game of life on hard mode the whole time, and people playing it on creative mode were treating me like I was just being dramatic about it being a struggle. No, I might not be damaged, but everyone else seemed to be playing with buffs I didn't know how the hell they were accessing, until it turned out I'd been playing with a handicap the whole time and things clicked into place. I did REALLY WELL. For an adhd person. Not for a neurotypical person, though I did *okay* by that standard by sheer force of will, but by the standard of "keeping my brain on task is like doing mental marathon training with no rest days"? I did incredible, and I can be proud of that even if it makes me sad at the same time.
@@titaniastinkerings Ah, another side of Hyperfocus:
1: Someone/People say you can’t do a thing… AKA: “[Your name], no.”
2: A primal urge to disprove this person/people is all you know… AKA: You: “[Your name], yes!”
3: Self-competition also helps you accomplish the thing if it’s a mid-long term goal/marathon to the finish.
4: Congrats. You did the thing!
5: It may not matter to you if the naysaying person/people aren’t there to see the result of your labor(s), which it’s best ‘cuz the end result was more important to you & that matters so much more than an “in your face,” as it was a self-affirming “yes, I can.”
✨🌟🥳🌟✨
Jessica deciding to stim openly instead of off-camera or cutting it out makes me really happy- it's something my friends and myself have been doing a lot more lately and seeing that unbridled ADHD/ASD joy is just so comforting
Everyone in my life will notice my stimming and tell me to stop/shame/make a joke of it to the point that when I see other people doing it I get anxious for them. So coming across this comment was really nice to see.
@@krose6451 Aww ty!!! And yeah I get told to stop often and that I'm "embarassing" other people- I do not enjoy this and tend to do it more just to spite them lol
I loved this too. It was hard for me sensorywise to watch because too visually stimulating but it warms my heart when I see someone stimulating proudly.
Does anyone know if Jessica has talked about being assessed for ASD somewhere?
@@rdklkje13 I don't know but I had been wondering that the whole video lol
Having a lot of invisible illnesses really can be frustrating and of course difficult to get them all diagnosed. Congrats to you and everyone in this community reading this dealing with invisible illness.
Conniving. You know it's not REALLY "invisible" when faced with refusal PS
@@exlesoes refusal PS?
ADHD really isn't an illness as much as it's a neurotype.
The establishment calls that "non-apparent disabilities."
@@Fruityflootloops NOT ps i love u bs
Honestly, seeing an adult woman fidget openly is so uplifting to me 💙
Welcome to the club, friend!
It was SO freeing to find out I have ADHD. To know that my struggles were so real and because my brain is wired differently - not because I’m lazy or garbage. My therapist asked me why I wanted a diagnosis and my response was validation. I hear you. I see you. Welcome to the club!
YES SO MUCH THIS
It feels good to know you ARE working hard to do certain things that are triggers... and it just isn't you being spoiled....or lazy
Welcome to the ADHD club.
I’ve seen a lot of online chatter about ‘everyone has (insert condition) these days’ and I’ve got some points for the naysayers…
One, if you’ve got ADHD, you’ve always had it, it’s not something someone just “gets” one day
Two, I think that it’s not that we all want to have some condition, but that we want understanding. “Why can I not do this? How come they remember and I don’t? I need to do that, but my brain won’t let me!” Etc etc
As an ADHDer, I find it helpful to have the terminology and understanding of how my brain functions in its own atypical way, and that knowledge helps me to structure my life and such in ways that might be unusual to some, but are more effective for me.
This is a soapbox I’ll always hop on - Most folks aren’t looking for an illness or label - they are looking for answers and for help.
My speculation is that after the pandemic and various other stressful events we’ve all ridden out in the last decade or two, people are more aware of their mental health and are seeking care. That’s why everyone “suddenly” has a diagnosis… for the thing they’ve always had 🤷🏻♀️
Well said.❤ I learned about the pervasive co-occurrence of "neurodivergence" while researching my congenital cardiopulmonary condition with the effects of covid, ( brain fog), in mind. Surprise: in the last decade, lots of research has backed up the connection between heart and brain functioning. (I had tried to test for ADD twenty years ago, at 18. In hindsight, I see how that was not a full assessment at the time, and am trying to get a fuller confirmation after my pediatric cardiologist offered his agreement about discoveries on this. He claims he now tells the adults in the lives of his patients that they would benefit from learning about ADHD and/ or autism, etc, as another way to support these children as much as possible. ❤)
@@lizhyink5636 About “not getting a full assessment” - ADHD still has some serious stereotypes in pop culture AND the medical community. It’s easy to miss if they only look for the stereotype.
I spotted it in my niece as soon as she was able to walk and talk. She’s physically unable to focus or stay still. Arguably the most severe ADHD I’ve seen, but that’s what they expect when you mention ADHD. If you are mostly functional and doing alright at work/school, a lot of drs blow right by it as a possibility.
ADHD is often viewed by how we impact the world around us: forgetful, distracted, disruptive and so on.
ADHD needs more medical study and attention to how the world impacts us instead. Over or under stimulated, how we cope, and I’d say most importantly the “mental environment” inside our head. That’s ADHD, the outward stuff they see is just symptoms of the internal chaos.
Honestly, it IS a pretty common diagnosis, but i think that’s just because it IS that common. i know it’s a hot take lol, but it really seems like ADHD is less ‘divergent’ of a condition than people think, like, it’s pervasive enough that it hardly makes sense to consider it an aberrant state from the nebulous parameters of ‘neurotypical’.
I do think it’s a condition worth treating, for the sake of quality of life. Alas, you can’t really get help for something unless it’s pathologized 😫
I too got my diagnosis after the pandemic! It was so much easier to get once I didn't have to commute to work. The commute hours saved let me spend those on being seen by a professional.
Exactly, help and answers…not a label. ❤
I can’t imagine how hard growing up without treatment for ADHD or even knowing you have it! My heart goes out to everyone who deals with that.
That was me! Actually, I was told when I was young, but I was religious homeschooled in the southern United States and was told that I "would have been diagnosed with it if I was in school" with an overtone of it being probably a fake thing and at least not a big deal.
In college, the first real stage of life outside of my family culture, I think it must have been the perfect level of stimulation in different topics and moving around between buildings and interacting with a lot of people and doing a lot of different things. I was a really high achiever and feeling really optimistic about my future job prospects.
Office jobs were terrible for me. I excelled during training, I would learn quickly, understand things readily, and then once I was told to do the same basic job tasks everyday for months and years, I couldn't do it. I was trying to drag my brain through the day, the simpler and easier the task, the harder I found to do it reliably. And then anxiety fucked it further from there. I managed to get a good job at a university, which is what I had dreamed about since I graduated since I loved being at University. And I just couldn't do it. It was completely crushing.
Then I tried someone's Ritalin and it made me sleepy. And that's not how a neurotypical brain responds to Ritalin. People with ADHD can find stimulants sedating in some cases, you see. That's what made me actually take it seriously (not my own subjective experience, just the objective experience of a nonstandard medication response) that I probably actually have severe ADHD.
Same here. I can’t imagine how much harder it would have been on me to not have been diagnosed. (I’m kinda old and realizing how lucky I was!)
I've been diagnosed at age 37. That was two years ago. Best two years of my whole life so far.
always being told you're lazy and good for nothing really fucks you up. 😢
@@sogghartha and the old classic “if you try harder…”
They have no idea how hard we ARE trying. ❤️🩹
You can’t imagine how useful this will be to so many women that have faced the same struggles x
Absolutely! I'm confident the only reason my inattentive type ADHD was found early was because my brother was *very* hyperactive, so we both got tested.
Beyond that as well, this will help many men and other kinds of nonwomen; bcuz these tradtly gender stereotyped norms of ADHD do indeed cross the boundaries of each other
Theres a lot of men who have no idea theyre ADHD for the same reasons as the majority of women who are ADHD dont know until much later in life, if at all
Among trans and nonbinary ppl, it can be rly common for their neurodivergence to skew away from their assigned gender; often more in line with their true gender feels stereotyped presentation
Myself, i very much presented my ADHD in a way much unalike my brothers, who both got dxd as young kids, which meant mine went entirely unnoticed; even decades before i figured out i was trans and very much not a boy
@@curiousfirelyIm so glad to hear they tested the sibling in your case there. Idk if the inheritability rate was known when i was a kid, but prty much all my siblings got dxd ADHD or Autistic and yet no one ever thowt to test me bcuz i was a quiet reserved shy kid; not an autistic or ADHD kid given the stereotypes of the early 90s
For my ADHD and Autistic brain, watching you actively stimming (in case you did not know, that is what those hand motions are called) is both hypnotizing and helping me stay focused on your video because there are now three sources of movement - your face (which is very expressive and beautiful), the subtitles, and your hands. Thank you for including them.
Welcome to the club of late diagnosed ADHD ❤️
I was only diagnosed a few months ago at the age of 33 after becoming a mom and working through a lot of childhood trauma. A lot of people asked me why I even wanted to know it, because „I have it together now, so why bother“ - well yes, but I can finally heal my inner child who thought she was utterly broken all this time. So many things make sense now!
Oh, and I realize now that most of my favourite content creators have ADHD - what a coincidence 😄
Anyways - thank you for your openness!!
That is almost my story exactly! After becoming a mom at 29, I was finally like, “Okay, it’s too hard to mask and function using my previous coping skills. Something is wrong.”😂
I was diagnosed after my first grandchild was diagnosed. Treatment helped. But, by then I was 55. Imagine learning what it’s like to think before you speak at 55.
Most of my favourite content creators seem to have adhd too haha!
Diagnoses are important. Cause 1. You realise you are not alone, other people struggle with what you struggle with too.
2. You learn it is not your fault.
3. You can get informed about what other people helped who suffered under the condition.
wow that ... sounds exactly like my story now! i am 30 and currently have been diagnosed after being in postpartum depression and resurficing trauma. I find it difficult to accept that at times i failed... it is due to that. like jessica said with the university thing... which was so lovely! But i havent come to that point yet where i see what i archieved though!
thank you for your post!!! it helps feel less alone
I think the best part of diagnosis is just realising you aren’t a fundamentally shameful/broken neurotypical person, you’re actually just normal for someone neurodivergent! And that’s okay!
Shifting my goals away from conformity at all costs & towards self-love, self-determination and joy is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself, and it’s lovely not to be alone in that!
Sending you love & solidarity Jessica!
I felt hollow and broken for decades until I finally found out that I had reasons for "being wrong". When I found out I had ADHD and Autism and everything made sense and I finally got to feel whole.
Yeah. These perspective shifts do take time, and internalized shame takes practice to work through. Another channel also addressed that well, "ADHD Love", and the married couple that put the videos together also have a book about radical acceptance and love called, Dirty Laundry.
This is such good advice! :)
Hahaha. The comorbidity is indeed that common! I still can’t believe I came to this channel from a video about your deafness, then was like “oh cool she’s queer too,” and then “oh fellow lover of vintage fashion”, then eventually realized I too have EDS and POTS. And now you have ADHD too!
I had a similar experience! ADHD/autism, queer, chronic pain/fatigue, also a lover of historical fashion !!
Same! I found her through her chronic illness videos and then learned the rest. I am also queer, a lover of vintage fashion, ADHD/Autistic, and have dysautonomia 😅
I'm not deaf, but got late diagnosed with ADHD, provably autistic, found out years after I started following Jessica, for her vintage style, history content, also being queer AND a redhead by choice huh... and always loved her city and moved here too! ❤
oh my god this has actually hit me so hard emotionally-- "internal" hyperactivity, the dissociation, the just feeling so lost because of how much there is inside your brain :-( i've always just felt a little silly and like i was maybe less intelligent or too sensitive because of all of it but. this made me feel so seen
❤
Watching all my favourite female RUclipsrs get diagnosed with ADHD is really something else. We really flock together😂
I am currently trying to get diagnosed but I've been told twice, by ADHD professionals, that my grades were too good as a child so therefore I couldn't have had it as a child. Despite me telling them that I didn't have to study for that and that I still forgot my homework all the time and I still struggled. It's so exhausting.
Yeah I feel you. The whole 'grades are the first to suffer' is just so infuriating. Both because it can be a coping skill to at least have some control/feeling of being capable in life. But also HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT MY GRADES WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN EVEN BETTER IF I HAD HAD THE RIGHT SUPPORT?! (Sorry for caps, it just really hits a nerve)
AFAB children do not present ADHD the same as low melanin boys.
AuDHD AFAB children are astronomically under diagnosed, due to extreme bias in healthcare. The way AFAB children are socialized, and have expectations forced upon them, and all deviations from expectations are blamed on "hysteria" further preventing accurate diagnosis, much less getting us needed support.
Most of us received ABA therapy from our parents, teachers, and school administrators **without** ever having an ABA therapist (if we were lucky. ABA is abuse).
My therapist (who is on the spectrum) is the one who helped me finally (after I turned 50) get accurate Dx.
Turns out I am not bipolar (big surprise, since none of the meds worked for me), nor do I have borderline personality disorder.
I absolutely do deal with autism, ADHD, and I have severe C-PTSD (much of my ongoing PTSD is due to medical gaslighting)... .a common co-morbidity for both autism spectrum disorder and ADHD.
My ADHD went unnoticed until I had tried and failed to get my bachelor multiple times.
I breezed to my education levels before that with little work.
It was only at the end my diagnosis was made and the more I've learned about it, the more things have fallen into place.
Currently fighting to get tested. Here's hoping you find someone who listens and takes you serious! Good luck
I was on the honor roll in high school, and I finally got diagnosed after self-diagnosing during my oldest child's diagnosis. It explains a lot and I am convinced that I would not have as many issues with depression and anxiety if I had been diagnosed when I was young. Those so-called "ADHD professionals" don't know what they are talking about. A large percentage of those with ADHD are quite smart.
Your story about your psychiatrist reminded me of probably the most memorable session I had with my first therapist. I was in 11th grade, my first year away from home (boarding school just for last 2 years of high school) and while I had always had some anxiety, particularly social anxiety, it was significant enough that year to be affecting my grades (which of course is what made it worth addressing haha) and was beginning to edge into agoraphobia. And she was asking me how a typical day went, and I started with, "In the morning, I go to the cafeteria and eat breakfast."
"Do many other kids eat breakfast in the cafeteria?"
"Not as many as at lunch, but yeah."
"That's very brave of you."
And I just stared at her for a minute. I don't think anyone had ever called me brave before. I had been focusing on the meals I did skip, on the moments the fear overwhelmed me, and discounted all the moments I pushed through because "that's just what everyone does." But not everyone struggled with agoraphobia. I was being brave, but her telling me that was the first time I actually believed it. I'm still not great at being kind to myself, but I think without something like that moment it would've been impossible. It was really the first time I realized I didn't necessarily have to judge myself by the standard of "what other people can do."
I has this with my therapist too! Was going more for my agoraphobia due to a shit year i had but i came in the session whispering like (i did it!) and after we were talking she was like ‘oh what was it like coming in here’ and i was like ‘oh well, i was nervous coming in here, and then there was people in the waiting room and i was like AH’ and she was like ‘you’re actually really brave for doing that’ and i was like ‘for coming in? Omg thank you 🥰’
Relate so hard to that “they’re not careless mistakes!!!!” That reminds me of when I forget what I wanted to say, and someone else says, “it must not have been important!” Ugh makes my stomach churn
I have an adult diagnosis of Autism and ADHD along with EDS and Celiac. I had suspected at the age of 16 that I was neurodivergent, but that was the early 1980’s and nobody was diagnosing girls back then. My diagnosis was so freeing. It answered so many questions and has helped me to no longer feel like a failed neurotypical. Welcome to the family!
my best friend, and the person who has designated himself my Carer (he makes sure i eat, i drink, I remember to shower, take my meds, don't stay up too late... and is also slowly training me to learn to function on my own at 34 years) is Autistic. HIs mother spent 4 days with me, and she asked her son why he didn't tell her I was Autistic. I looked confused. he started laughing. becuase he'd seen it for years. and i never realized it might be part of why i was struggling so badly.
@@MissmoriI have wondered this about Claudia, having ASD that is. Thanks for sharing your story.
Yes I,ve been wondering about Claudia asd for years now
My sister has EDS and ADHD, there seems to be a large overlap between EDS and neurodivergence
There is actually a paper on connective tissue and neurodivergence called "Joint Hypermobility Links
Neurodivergence to Dysautonomia
and Pain" published by Frontiers in Psychiatry
@@Kick0a0catinteresting! ur an angel for citing this
yup! i have hEDS and adhd and autism :D
@@Kick0a0cat Thank you that looks really fascinating, its always interesting to see how things you wouldn't think could be related might be
Yes! Every friend of mine with EDS (a surprisingly high number) also has ADHD
Watching you cry out of the kindness of the therapist who told you you did well made me want to give you a hug!! Jessica, you're such an wonderful human being. I really hope finding out about ADHD helps you from now on.
I was so moved when Rupert was responding to the tears at dinner. 🥺 “Mama sad. Mama crying. Mama hug?” 🥹
This sweet small toddler is more observant and caring than many adults.
Mama deserves to feel proud, of herself and her family ♥️
Welcome to the club!! I got my ADHD (Combined Type) diagnosis at 29. I had no idea growing up. And now, this year, at 33, I got my formal Autism diagnosis. The overlap for both with EDS is super common. ADHD medication changed my life, and actually helped a lot with my EDS and POTS symptoms - turns out when your brain isn't on fire all the time, everything hurts less.
If you notice any sensory sensitivity symptoms getting 'worse' or more pronounced after starting ADHD medication, it is worth looking at Autism as well, because having both is actually far more common than people realise (again, especially with EDS!!).
This, the overlap is so large. I kind of wish that when you get diagnosed with EDS, you'd also get tested for ADHD and ASD
@@SilverSkylark yes I feel the same way. Anyone who gets an EDS diagnosis should be immediately referred for assessment for ADHD/ASD. And anyone presenting for an ADHD/ASD assessment who also experiences chronic pain and joint hypermobility should be sent for an EDS assessment. It would save so much time, so much pain!
Not just EDS even, also simply joint hypermobility has this overlap afaik. So a standard of ADHD/ASD assessment even if it isn’t EDS would be good too.
This. Late diagnosed autistic + ADHD and I also have specialists who think I have fibromyalgia due to all my joint/muscle pain and nothing coming up in blood tests to imply things like arthritis or lupus. Buuuuut… I’m also hypermobile so… 🤷🏻♀️
So glad you were finally diagnosed correctly! My daughter wasn’t diagnosed until college and once she was, she said so much of her life made so much more sense! ❤️It gave her a sense of relief.
So glad for your daughter! And so glad she has a supportive parent, watching videos like this to better understand it 💕
Honestly, I hope it was a relief for you as well. As someone’s ADHD daughter myself lol, I imagine it might be a relief to know that some of her behaviors and struggles had nothing to do with your parenting
@@LuckyBones77 it’s tricky right? I was glad that we had her tested and it definitely explained a lot of things about her and that it was just how her brain worked. In retrospect, I was in awe at how she adapted and got through her childhood. But man did we feel terrible that we did not realize it sooner and did not have her tested her sooner. This is why I love Jessica so much, she brings awareness to people about so many things. Her videos are so useful and helpful!
@@jennifers5560 That IS tricky, but if you did your best to support her through those struggles, I think that is SO much more important. Even with an early diagnosis, my mother still called me lazy, rude, impatient, careless, thoughtless, etc… all to do with my ADHD symptoms. My ADHD had nothing to do with her parenting, but my depression sure did 😬
@@LuckyBones77 ❤️I am so sorry that you went through that with your Mother. For what it’s worth, this Mom understands that you are not lazy, rude, impatient, careless, thoughtless, etc. ❤️
I was raised by a mother with undiagnosed adhd and autism, and I have 2 older siblings on my dad's side that had OBVIOUS adhd. Looking back I can understand why my family didn't recognize my Inattentive Type ADHD, but I developed pretty severe depression trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Didn't start getting treated for the root cause of my depression until I was 27. Hoping that as a SPED Teacher I can help catch these diagnosis in young kids, and be the advocate I wish that I had had when I was little.
I'm 34 and just begining my mental health Journey. I completely understand. I keep feeling like i need to be better NOW. because i'm 34 and i should have everything together already. but i need to really understand that these things take time...
I'm autistic and the best advocating you can do is to shut your mouth and let us advocate for ourselves.
Keep going on that track! It was my Grade 2 teacher (who also had adhd) who recognized the symptoms in me and let my parents know. She's the reason both my mother and I got diagnosed (my mother, obviously as an adult). Good teachers really can change your life😊
Much love from South Africa 🇿🇦
One of my mum's reasons for homeschooling me was my 4th grade teachers suggested I be tested for adhd. She was one of those parents who were afraid that schools were trying to get more students diagnosed with ADHD to get more tax money. The teachers explained their reasoning, what signs they had noticed, and mum told me later she dismissed them because, "Psh, that's how everyone's brain works!"
Only after I went and got myself diagnosed, a few years ago, did I put that together. Watching her now, knowing so much more about ADHD, I'm almost certain she has it, too, so of course she'd think everyone's brain worked that way if that's how HERS works.
To any parents on the fence re: your children, please don't dismiss concerns. It might not be ADHD, and that's fine. But if it is, being able to understand WHY my brain behaves how it does was liberating. I managed fine in school, but I had to work REALLY REALLY hard to get the meh grades I got. I have a lot of regret at how much better I could have been, with time left over for other stuff.
Even without school and work concerns, I would 100% take my meds daily because I can actually choose to stop hyperfocusing on things. I used to actually put myself in actual pain because I wouldn't/couldn't stop. I can actually focus on a task that requires me to go into a different room because, although I still see the other things I need to do, I don't lose the original thought and refocus on the thing my eye landed on.
It's real. Treat it as such, please. Your children will thank you.
when i was a child a doctor told my parents that i had traits of adhd but 'it'd probably pass'. recently i found out he said that because i was a girl. yes it did "pass": i found coping mechanisms that made me not bother others and all my teens i was described as 'kind of clumsy' and 'with her head in the clouds'. now I'm trying to save money to get a private diagnosis and finally get professional help
women are often forced to "mask" and it can be a decades long journey later in life to attempt to "unmask" and become your authentic and comfortable self. I'm working on it now. and it's not easy at all.
Wow, great timing! I literally was diagnosed last month. I was so scared of my doctor dismissing me as an adult woman, but he was amazing. Needless to say, I "passed" with flying colours! I'm still struggling to accept the diagnosis. Part of me keeps wondering, "What if I tricked my doctor somehow??", even though my symptoms are really, really obvious and I have family members with ADHD. Hopefully it'll get easier soon! Thanks for sharing your story.
I got assessed and diagnosed like half a year ago and I still think like that. I even cancelled my medicine trial because of it. I felt like I was cheating just to get the meds. But now I have booked a new appointment (in two weeks!!!) and I will force myself to go, because I deep down know it is the only thing that can help me atp
“Jessica has found success, love, and family in her life, and so will I!”- a new mantra I’m going to try, starting right now
Thank you for such a vulnerable video. We love you so much!
I also got diagnosed as an adult. Congratulations and welcome to the #ADHD family! We'll definitely get you your welcome materials... eventually... when we remember...
This comment is hilarious!! Love it❤❤
🎉❤
Noooo don’t call us ALL out on the memory issues 😂
I got VERY lucky and got diagnosed at 8 years old, but with treatments in the 90s being largely designed and tested for primarily-hyperactive young males, it took until adulthood for me to get treatment that REALLY helped.
Or we'll remember fairly frequently, but just never have the executive function to find the file, open it, print it - oh wait, the printer's out of paper, and the ink is low, and we forgot to buy both, but anyway - then mail it - where are the envelopes? Why are the stamps not here? Better go buy stamps, only to find that we put them in the envelope box, because then we can't lose them! Oh crud, now we need to find the time to go to the post office, which may take several attempts until we actually remember to bring the envelope with us, but holy cow it's international and how do we mail this internationally omg it's all wrong do we need to start over-
And when you do get them, they’ll be the BEST welcome materials to ever be made. They’ll be PERFECT and UNIQUE because we are GIFTED AND SPECIAL (at least this is what we have sometimes been told). AND, we must do extra work to make-up for the lateness.
Unfortunately, the pressure we’ve put on ourselves to make them perfect means we will not be able to even open our computers for a while.
But don’t worry, we’ll eventually hyperfocus on them! If we manage to convince ourselves they’re done, we’ll move into the task mgmt struggle (please see @TheIamyourmother comment above 😅).
Captions are up now, thank you so much for all your kind replies to this video. 💕
Girl I'll be honest! We KNEW KNEW this whole time
@jessicaoutofthecloset welcome to the spectrum
hand stimming is a common thing.
1) Congratulations on figuring out a new diagnosis (that really should be a category of greeting card, don't you think? It could be filed next to "happy graduation!" cards in bookshops).
2) I prefer "Disability *Pride* " to Disability 'Awareness' (awareness implies some sort of lurking danger -- 'beware,' aka 'be aware.' Pride is all about claiming our space).
3) in 2020, The Human Rights Campaign conducted a survey on the overlap between people who identified as LGBTQ and those who identified as Disabled, and found that over a third (36%) of LGBTQ people identified as Disabled, compared to under a quarter (24%) of cis het people identifying as Disabled. And the majority of that larger group are disabled people who are neurodiverse.
18:49 caption typo changes context entirely; you said "ever" but the captioner mistook it for "never" and reversed the sentence meanin heh
I feel this pain so much. I'm 18 months into the waitlist for an autism assessment because indefinitely don't have the 2k to go private but it's so hard to get people to take you seriously without an official diagnosis.
I hope you get an assessment soon, I know how frustrating this wait is ;-;
Oh man I'm sorry it's so difficult for you to go privately in your area 😔 my friend got it for less than £200 but that's still a huge barrier for many, especially students, kids, etc
The other issue is that if you get a private diagnosis and require medication in addition to coping mechanisms, you may not be able to get it via nhs without nhs diagnosis. So be careful. I am now 19 months into a 15 month list with still not even an appointment, having passed two triage assessments to get on the blasted list.
I hope you know that we in the autistic community accept self diagnosis and a formal diagnosis is not required to be autistic. Im AUDHD
I love how common it is to be diagnosed by Peer Review.
Also, thank you for not editing around your stimming, especially while talking about a topic that's obviously been stressful and upsetting. I know that for myself, letting myself rock/fidget/flap/stim makes it infinitely easier to handle whatever my brain is going through, good or bad, and it's certainly something that's helpful for others. Letting it be visible was extremely generous of you.
I'm so glad you made this video! Rowan's video gave me the courage to get evaluated and at the age of 26 I got diagnosed with ADHD and autism. I completely agree with knowing where your danger zones are now and giving myself more grace. Funnily enough, my students (I'm a teacher) weren't surprised and were actually some of my biggest cheerleaders when I was wrestling with imposter syndrome before my evaluation.
I can't wait for the day that all of us neurodivergents finally know about our unique brains and can truly understand ourselves. I'm positive that our numbers are far greater than anyone currently estimates.
Hey, ADHD Pal! So, I'm just gonna let you know that Jessica McCabe/HowtoADHD RUclips channel is REALLY helpful and validating, especially when I was rediscovering what ADHD was for me (like the number of times I've cried because I felt so SEEN is innumerable). It's lovely to have because Jessica's always releasing videos that talk about a specific thing in ADHD (so you learn a lot), she also has ADHD herself, and she's also a Jessica. So I'd recommend her!
@PolesitterPict . . .
I second that!
it is an amazing channel, I hope more fellow adhd-ers find it 😊
I was thinking the same thing. That channel helped me to better understand the ADHD part of my brain. I know they aren't parts, but it helps me decipher between ASD and ADHD traits and which one is more in control at any given point. I have to say, after watching a lot of ADHD channels, and a lot of ASD channels, I kind of feel like the AuDHD combo is so helpful, although I am still extremely odd person in the NT world.
I started following Jessica of How to ADHD before I found out I was on the autistic spectrum. I wanted to learn more about adhd because I recognised some of the traits, especially being dreamy and inattentiveness. And she explains it so well, very organised and not too long. At that time I had a burn out and her videos were not that long and very practical. I still follow her.
If this isn’t a collab waiting to happen 😃
You stimming/fidgeting with your hands in the video while I am rocking back and forth watching it is giving me so much neurodivergent joy.
That conversation about success in college (university for you ☺️) is one I’ve had a couple times with therapists or friends and it’s so affirming. When we have ADHD, especially undiagnosed, we are made to focus on our deficits all the time. Your whole life is preoccupied with trying to “live up to your potential” and mitigate your shortcomings that you almost never recognize that you’re accomplishing SO MUCH .
I got diagnosed with ADHD at 22, the summer after I graduated from college with my bachelor's degree. I'm so glad you shared what the specialist said to you about getting through college because that rang true for me as well. It was very hard, and I didn't make it to all my classes or get all the best grades, but I did it. 😊
Welcome to the club! We have forgotten alarms, messy rooms, and lifetimes of self-worth issues!
But seriously, it's awesome of you to share this, and I hope your diagnosis brings you clarity, even if it is late.
I am a woman and I grew up in Florida in the 80's. My ADHD symptoms were so distracting my school had me diagnosed. Unfortunately I did not have a functioning support system and nothing came of it and I dropped out of school in the 9th grade. I joined the Navy and went to college so everything turned out better than expected.
I understand the daily struggles and I am glad you have finally gotten an understanding into why you are the way you are. It is such an amazing feeling to know you aren't just some sort of human shaped failure.
We love you, Jessica!
I’m a woman who grew up in Florida in the 90’s also diagnosed young and nothing came of it no meds or any coping mechanisms so other than my parents telling the teachers and some extra time the diagnosis was kind of useless honestly the only reason I graduated was my parents being there to tell the teachers to work with me but because I had no coping mechanisms or help to figure things out I failed out of college ❤
@@tarynriver Greetings!! And a big hug, sis! ❤The Florida school system is and always has been an utter joke. All they ever did was put me in an SLD (slow learning disorder) class with a bunch of boys with worse behavioral problems than me. We have ADHD, we aren't stupid. I dropped out and couch surfed for a while.
I immediately became a young mother in the navy but was able to finish my enlistment (by the hair of my teeth).
I stupidly moved back to Florida with my child.
My son has autism. The school system failed him as well. I had no reference for how things were supposed to go and he was just like me as a kid. The best thing I ever did was move to Virginia. My son graduated with an honors diploma!
@@ItsBrandiFolseYo I feel this my son is very smart and I’m looking into private school even though I can’t really afford it as a single mom because the Florida school system is horrible and he’s bored and I don’t want him
To hate school
@@tarynriver I wish I could tell you what to do or give some clever advice! I still struggle with my everyday life and all I did was get lucky that I got a job in a state that figured out my sons issue for me. I wish you all the luck in the world!
@@ItsBrandiFolseYo I’m lucky too I work for my dad so I have a boss who won’t fire me 😊
Welcome to the ND club! We have fun here. And thank you for not cutting out out all your stimmy fidgety gestures, normalizing that does so much good for all of us!
Her stimming became calming for me too? It was a little extra stimulation for my brain too!
I'm so happy for you. Finally getting a diagnosis that allows you to actually UNDERSTAND and look at so much in your life that used to just be a 'you're the problem' sort of thing and getting to know IT'S NOT YOU, it's just that your brain is a little different from other people, AND THAT'S OKAY, is such a liberating experience. I am really glad to hear you've found a medication that works for you. I remember when I first got on proper meds for my ADHD as a teenager, it was such an eye opening experience like 'oh my gosh, THIS is what it's like to have a brain that WORKS?' I hope you can continue to be positive, empowered, and proud of who you are going forward. Welcome to the community!!
Welcome to the ADHD (late diagnosis) club! It can be a whirlwind but I’ve never regretted it and accept myself more than I ever have before. You have a wonderful ADHD life ahead of you!
Ayyyyy I also have ADHD. I got diagnosed at 24, and it was a massive weight off my shoulders. Finally getting the support i needed from other ADHD folks and from medication was a huge relief, I hope the support of the community helps you the way it helped me!
- Sincerely, a fellow late-diagnosed sapphic.
As a chronically ill person with ADHD and Autism (and some other stuff aaaaa) this means a lot for me to see. You keep helping us (me & my system) understand ourselves better
I was diagnosed at 26 and it was such a freeing, empowering experience for me too because suddenly it was “oh, I wasn’t just a bad/useless person, my brain is wired differently!” Sending you so much love, so pleased you now have answers and help ❤
Same here!
As someone with ADHD, this is the most validating and relatable video about ADHD that I've ever seen
I've been investigating an ADHD diagnosis for a year now. Problem is, the second I say "I've been diagnosed with PTSD, an anxiety disorder, and depressive disorder", that's all they can focus on. I've tried pointing out that a lot of my anxiety comes FROM ADHD symptoms impacting on my life, but they can't seem to look at them as discrete events. Next attempt, I'm going to not mention it until after I've explained my experience and see if they adjust their opinion instantly or not. I put my money on yes.
*sigh*. I'll get there eventually.
yeah for like 8 years they always blamed it all on anxiety and depression, only when i found a neurodiversity specialist did she take me seriously
my Autistic brain: well it's a pattern that ADHDers and Autistics make great couples, so it makes perfect sense.
Interesting. I’m an ADHDer and begin to strongly suspect my husband is Autistic 🤔
wait really?? pretty sure this is also the case for me and my partner, but I’m curious as to any theories you have about WHY that worksso well 😂
@@LuckyBones77 In my neurodivergent opinion it works because it's easier to have someone who gets things (like sensory issues) without needing a ted talk for context (that plus adhd and autism share some symptoms).
Same, I'm autistic and my partner is adhd
Are you talking about Jessica and Claudia?
Thank you thank you thank you for allowing yourself to "un-mask" for the camera. Your honestly and willingness to make yourself vulnerable to your audience is so very appreciated. I'm another ADHD lady who was diagnosed later in life. It can feel like a relief and a regret at the same time. Relief in knowing there's a concrete reason for your brain to act like this, regret because you spent so much time being misunderstood without knowing exactly why. I've loved your videos because of how many people feel seen and validated by having something unusual about them acknowledged; I never imagined that I was going to feel so validated myself by being understood. Thank you for all you do for others.
I have ADHD and autism. Time blindness is a big thing. Also, object permanence. Out of sight, out of mind... ppl places and things. Love you, your family and videos! Thank so much for all you do 🤗
Try putting an app on your phone that rings or vibrates every hour. Especially if you can have it pushed through to a wearable device. I have Blip Blip, set to cuckoo clock, and it helps a lot with the time blindness.
Jessica I started crying when you were talking about how lovely the clinical psychologist was. When I got my diagnosis I bawled my eyes out because I for the first time in my life felt validated in my experience and like there wasn't something inherently wrong with me for struggling to do seemingly simple things. It's so empowering to know what is going on in your brain and that you're not alone.
Good. I was told "you're broken, here's how to hide it so people will like you." Yeah thanks.
you know what... at first i was like "oh a video about adhd ... jeah i have recently been diagnosed too, i know its chaos in the brain but i barely notice it ... i wont bother." but then i watched it... and i realise... i never really acknowldged my struggles as that what it is... adhd symptoms. i just saw them as failures of mine... and me being... less...but not me being struggling with something. Thank you!! the empowering words from your therapist were so... wonderful!!
I have both autism and ADHD, but wasn't diagnosed with either until my mid twenties. For me, the autism diagnosis in particular was such a relief. I finally had a "why." I'd asked myself that so many times over the years. Why am I like this? And finally I had an answer. I'm glad you found your "why."
I related to this video a lot. I got diagnosed with autism at 28 and it was such a revelation. It was so freeing to have an explanation for my struggles. It was recognition that I was trying my best, but my brain just isn't suited for certain things.
“People with this condition find this hard. Obviously it was hard for you.” Validation like that is priceless. ❤️❤️❤️ I find you to be the least “useless,” most useful person ever. You were the one who taught me that I was disabled and not to be ashamed of it. Do you know your enneagram type? Certain personalities find being helpful more important than others.
Wow did this video come at such a lovely time for me. A little over a month ago I was “officially” (I’ve know since I was 15, I’m 43 now) diagnosed with ADHD because I wanted to try meds (after being terrified of them because of my other health conditions for years.) I was so excited to hear you talk about how the meds have affected (dare I say helped?) your other health conditions. I decided to try them after I read that ADHD individuals with co-morbid Fibro/CF (one of my diagnosis’s is hypermobility spectrum disorder/dysautonomia) found relief from their pain as well as the normal ADHD symptoms. (My doctor says Autism/ADHD may be forms of dysautonomia and I have found that the meds have helped with my dysautonomia symptoms by raising my blood sugar and blood pressure (unfortunately that has also been causing headaches…because: craniosacral instability.) However, I didn’t realize the meds would be helping me with my emotional regulation and I’m so happy they do.
BTW making rules for yourself and then manually regulating yourself takes a lot of energy. I suspect many of my health problems are exasperated by the stress/effort of suppressing my impulses. Have you found that the meds have helped with needing to suppress your behaviors less or helped with your memory? (Those were other effects I was hoping for.)
I got a 94% for visual IQ (It’s also related to non-verbal understanding: so I like to think of it as wisdom) but 4% for memory. I am also very good at Tetris and don’t understand why anyone would have trouble with drawing in perspective but please don’t ask me to remember anything. Haha
Jessica thank you so much for sharing this video and titling it the way you have. I make art/travel related videos and I’ve been thinking about making a “coming out” video for a long time about my physical and mental health issues. I’ve been afraid to call it a coming out video but now I feel more comfortable.
Sorry for creating such a long comment but I’m just so excited about your video and I have so much to say.
I've been doing a program for dysautonomia and have seen an improvement in my negative ADHD and ASD symptoms, while seeming to maintain many of the more positive aspects of each. (Also seeing great improvement in nervous system regulation and dysautonomia symptoms, if anyone was wondering). I wish I could go back in time and gift myself all this knowledge/work.
@@sambbbbcan I ask what program?
@@kristelfae5054 sure, it's called Primal Trust. I can't say enough good things about it. It's helped more than just my dysautonomia. Best decision I've ever made.
Hey fellow neurospicy friend! I appreciate you so much. I’m so sorry some people were rude. You deserve better than that. You’re amazing and I’m glad you’ve gotten greater self-understanding.
I grew up with a diagnosis but was kept from knowing other diagnosed kids. And I was adopted by neurotypical parents as an infant. You making a video....just about your ADHD did something amazing for my inner child. Thank you ❤️
The "seeking a referral" section at 16:30 felt like a friendly punch to the face. I've been considering it for years at this point, but well I guess the next appointment with my therapist is the time I'm going to suggest getting tested for ADHD. Sharing stories like this is so important, thank you Jessica
Seeing someone do the same exact hand movements i do and was told not to do as a kid. Made me really emotional. It oddly made me not alone. Never feel bad about being youeself fully. Also i related to a lot of this video as a trans man. Afab folks really get overlooked for this stuff. Thank you for sharing!!
Im a female who got diagnosed at 30... im 32 now. My GP suggested I get tested. I also have POTS and hypermobility.. i also have chronic pain and a bunch of other health conditions....So I feel you ❤
pots and connective tissue disorders have big overlaps with neurodevelopmental disorders like adhd and autism, which as someone with ALL I think its super interesting
Neurodivergents unite ❤ As an autistic queer, thank you so much for sharing your story! Much love from Latin America!
Oof, the hitting sentence for me was "I can forgive myself". Yup. That's what diagnosis(es) helped me the most with.
Thank you so much for everything Jessica. Your whole channel is showing the beautiful human you are and it's SO enriching to see you discover yourself through it ❤️ You're a role model to me on so many points 🙏🏻
As an ADHD haver who is primarily inattentive type, I genuinely appreciate more femme types having videos. My diagnosis was LIFE CHANGING.
University was a massive struggle for me too, one that I unfortunately didn't manage to get a diploma out of. Hearing about what the specialist said to you made me cry too. Heck, *I* feel seen, and I'm not even officially diagnosed or the one it was directed at! What a wonderful practicioner. I hope she is valued in her job the way she deserved.
Have the best Disability Awareness Month, yet, Milady!
ADHD has a lot of symptoms in common with PTSD contracted during the first seven years of one’s life. When you observe me for five minutes, you would say ADHD. But when you interact with me for a couple of hours, you would notice that my behaviour seems to be driven by hyper-alertness, and extreme fatigue, alternately.
Most of my memories are ‘up-front’. Nothing stored on DVD, quite a bit on the harddisk, but the bulk of them are constantly on hand and at the ready, on my RAM chips. A smaal portion of the latter are the memories that make up the content of my flashbacks and re-living experiences. Flashbacks have become rare, now. I’m 61. But I have never been easily distracted. I wish I could be more easily distracted. I’d like to be able to forget more, too.
I also have a weird sense of humour, expressed as ‘The silly over-done quippery of the seriously done-over’.
It’s always original, but childish. Sometimes funny, mostly corny, … not exactly Joanna Lumley.
I’m Belgian. English is my third language of five. I’m no genius. Only an adult, who at age eight had been in desperate need for a new language to think in. i studied as if my life depended on it, which it also did, in a way. I still have difficulty believing what people say to me, when they say it in my native language. It is the language spoken by my abusers. My second language couldn’t do the trick. Perhaps because I only used it in school, and in very very polite conversations with the oldest members of my extended family.
I work in talking therapy and i find your videos so useful. How you explain your communication and lifestyle adjustments to manage your conditions has helped me relate to and accomodate dozens of patients i might otherwise have found boundaries to communicating with. I have been able to better support patients coming out to me as a direct result of your work.
You are the opposite of useless, thank you.
"My body is full of wonky cogs". As a person with multiple autoimmune disease, I so relate to this statement! It's like dominoes. Once something really starts to go wrong everything just piles on over time.
welcome to the community! (edit: i commented impulsively at the start of the video, so i just wanted to add that this was an incredibly relatable video, and a fellow late-diagnosed, also physically disabled ADHDer. I teared up and certain part and laughed out loud at others, thanks
makes sense that rereading the same sentence a zillion times bc brain go brrrr could be misdiagnosed as just being unable to visually process the sentence
So happy for you for figuring it out !! As a fellow ADHD-haver i kind of clocked it a while back and was wondering lol. Glad you're able to access some more support now that you know what's happening! Welcome to the ND club lol
Hey there. I was diagnosed at 35 last year. I spent a lifetime struggling through academia and as a professional. For decades I chalked it up to stupidity and laziness. After a lot of tears and talking to my therapist, we've found a treatment that might help me get through day to day tasks. Thanks for coming forward and sharing your story. I'm still pretty closeted about my ADHD, but I have a small network of supportive family and friends. Wishing you well ❤️🩹
Hi Moundfreak, I'd like to know about what treatment you've found, if I may ask. I can't seem to get my day to day tasks to happen the way I would like to. Help appreciated!
@@Anna_Eriksson Hi there! I'm on 10mg Adderall. It "turns off" a few of the "stations" in my brain and helps me focus at my desk job. I might still benefit from a higher dose, but I'm just happy to see some results after 35 years of struggle.
@@Moundfreek Thank you for sharing with me and all. Happy for your initial results!
Oh my god, just the other day I saw a video of a dr talking about how correlated ADHD/autism are with hypermobility disorders and I wondered about you! Congratulations on figuring it out :)
I have autism, adhd, celiac, and hypermobility. Yes, they all seem to be related. Welcome to another comorbidity club! We love you, and you are NOT useless; absolutely the opposite!
I don't have celiac but I do have bile acid malabsorption which caused debilitating pain for literally a decade before someone figured it out, so practically twinning 😂 I was misdiagnosed as "probably celiacs" without even a colonoscopy when I explicitly asked for one 🤦
I'm autistic and hypermobile myself, and I was not aware of either of these things until I was in my 30s. I mean, I knew I had really bendy joints that damage easily, but I didn't think there was an actual reason why until I showed a nurse friend one of my "stupid party trick" human pretzel moves and she said, "Yeah, um, that's really really not normal" and directed me to talk to my GP.
Hi Jessica! I’m not an actual ADHD member, but I also had a brain damage in childhood and I’ve been diagnosed with NVLD. I’ve got a huge gap between my visuo-spatial intelligence (very low) and my verbal intelligence (high as heck). Hearing you talking about all this topics was delitious as you are very articulate and funny 🥰 Keep going 💪🏿
So... I guess I probably have ADHD? I've always struggled with executive function and focus, and because of this video I took the adult ADHD screening test and I scored well above the threshold. So, this was a very helpful video!
My experiences are very similar to Jessica's: I always thought "doesn't everyone struggle with this?" "Isn't this just being normal?" But I guess it doesn't really matter if it's normal or not, it's nice to just understand myself better and put a name to a pattern and have places to go for further resources/community.
Thanks for the video!
Neurodivergence + chronic illness seem to be very prevalent. I’m diagnosed with autism, ADHD combined type, OCD, GAD, ME/CFS, Fibromyalgia, HSD, PoTS & a balanced translocation (a type of chromosome disorder).
As a kid people just labelled me “dramatic, over-sensitive, weird & neurotic” though 😖
A video talking about how viewers diagnosed Jessica’s ADHD ending with an extremely in depth description of OCD symptoms is amazing
So... writing this comment as the video plays, otherwise I'll get distracted and forget!!! I've recently self-diagnosed as autistic & ADHD. Have nootgone down official diagnosis route because I got medically gaslit and traumatised when I tried to get an ADHD diagnosis 10 years ago. I had been wondering about the co-incidence of EDS / HSD with neurodivergence from anecdotal evidence, so thank you for sharing that actual data on the comordity/. Also, your talking about the way your ADHD meds have helped your pain symptoms, I now want to get an official diagnosis. Thank you so much!!!!! And congratulations on the shiny new diagnosis!!!!
I haven't watched the whole video yet, but I had to smile so much when you said you had ADHD. I do too and I have been watching you since 2017 and I'm getting emotional because being understood is so valuable. Thank you for sharing, especially with your hesistancy, I appreciate it so much and also now I'm crying.
I recently got both an autism and adhd diagnosis (I went in for an autism evaluation so I guess the ADHD was buy one get one free lol) and honestly it's a big relief. I feel like I'm able to be myself more freely now.
I also have both, but I went in with an ADHD referral that I asked for after wondering if I had it for about five years.
I was diagnosed with both early this year and feel the same way. It’s very freeing!
Validation about something you feel you didn’t do well in, is such a powerful thing. You did so well, with all obstacles, you kept going. You should be proud of yourself. Succeeding isn’t doing something without struggling, it’s doing it despite struggling.
Welcome to the club, glad to have you! "No one is shocked except for me," is exactly how it felt. When I was diagnosed I would tell my friends and everyone was like "??? Yeah, we thought you knew." If I knew I'd never shut up about it???
I'm in the process of being assessed and getting a diagnosis. I think my word is 'lazy'. I'm not lazy, the thing needs doing and I want to do it, but my brain 5 minutes into 3 days and suddenly I still haven't moved those dirty clothes to the washing basket or that glass to the sink. It's borderline painful. But this is really reassuring and encouraging. Thank you Jessica 💕
I got diagnosed with ADHD in January! The meds have been super helpful :)
I just went back on ADHD meds last fall, after a decade without and bruh 😫 I’m glad they’re working for you!!
Only med I've tried is Strattera. My secondary depression symptoms are SO MUCH better than they used to be. My chronic fatigue isn't as bad, and I actually have a normal amount of energy to do things most days. After a year, I'm still having trouble focusing and staying on task, but I'm scared to try stimulant medication. 😅 My tinnitus is bad enough as is, and if caffeine makes it worse I'm SURE that stimulants would probably make it worse. 😢
@@LuckyBones77 I really hope you find something that works for you! Soon!
@@ameliacarter1377 I have tinnitus too, and don’t find it much worse on stimulants. But I definitely understand why it’s a worry.
You could discuss short release stimulants to trial it over a short period of time and see what happens if you ever want to? Best wishes!
I've found this so soothing - despite being straight, pushing 70, never married, and the mother of an adult son (who is charmed by your retro vibe but feel like it's too much work - I still dress, for the most part, in "University Grunge" - jeans and T-shirts. "Dressed up" is slacks that are jeans but don't really look like it, and a blouse) I also identify with you SO MUCH. This is a large part of the reason. Oh, BTW - I'm also a Yank. 😏
I got diagnosed last thursday (in my late twenties) and I'm having a lot of feelings about it. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one!
❤
I feel you
I have that struggle. I am now talking to myself all the time saying " okay you are in the bathroom. Get into the shower. You are here to take a shower. Be present. ..." and so on. I am trying to have self compassion and gentleness because that being sidetracked with getting to do things I don't need to get to at the time, have been pointed out by other people and after looking at the clock, I would get mad at myself. Every day is a restart to kindness and being present, breathing to reset, and continue. About the calendar it tells me to eat!! It pops out all over the screens and I eat. Which is wonderful.
A diagnosis is a label to provide some guidelines to understand an have some baseline to work on the things you need to and enjoy life as who you are. The diagnosis giving part of the description of how your brain do.
You are a cool person Jessica. Give yourself some compassion and kindness.
Thanks for the content!
The rundown of your university experience made me feel soooooo seen for the first time. It's been 5 years since I flaked and even to this day I haven't vocalized it to anyone, so thank you.
Thank you for leaving in your hand stimming! So validating for me to watch you be your brilliant self and stimming. When we are so shamed from an early age for stimming.
Congratulations!!! I'm autistic and my girlfriend has ADHD. So happy for you and happy to hear that one of my favorite RUclipsrs has another really cool factor about herself!!
(Also I tried to copy your hand stims cause they looked fun and then had to stop cause I wasn't reading the subtitles and I can't process speech enough to watch without subtitles. Very fun hand stims though, definitely worth it.)
i know right??? i paused the video to copy her stims a few times myself and i quite liked them
I was lucky to get diagnosed at around 9 years old, which only happened because my sister has severe Dyslexia, so she had to go to a psychologist to get tested. My mom took me there too, just in case. The Psychologist found out we all had ADHD. Later an uncle who is a Doctor told us, it was running in the family and he had ADHD too.
I actually move my hands similar to you Jessica. I started knitting, which helps a lot, because it keeps me busy while watching tv or doing similar things while actually doing something useful.
I also have the memory loss thing and I disasociate a lot. It actually calms my thoughts to just stare at things, so sometimes when I am in a conversation I can either listen or look at someone, so normally I pick listening and let my eyes look where they want to.
diagnosed at 8 years old here 🙋 did you ever draw/doodle during class as a kid?
Heck yes here
@@LuckyBones77 Me too. I still do it now in university.
I finally got my diagnosis a three weeks ago. Currently trialing the meds to find the right ones. It took about a year and half from the question being raised to diagnosis, and it came with such relief. I totally understand and get everything you’ve brought up in this video. From misdiagnosis to existing health concerns, suddenly my whole life makes sense. I’ve got the combined type. Just like you said: the scariest part for me is telling other people. I know some of my friends have a very fixed, uninformed and not very nice opinion about ADHD. All of the questions like ‘what’s the point of getting a diagnosis now’ to statements like ‘everyone feels like making dinner is hard sometimes, that’s just life’ are very hard to hear.
Thank you so much for making this video, it really helps to know that other people are going through this as well.
And just in case there’s any doubt - I think you’re absolutely amazing.
Finally able to watch this! I was also diagnosed in 2021 and I hadn't realised how much my meds were levelling out my emotions or how much it's been helping with work... Until the meds shortage reverted me back to 2021 levels. Really hope you've not also been impacted!
I was diagnosed with adhd in my super late 20s. I'm still learning about things i experience that are actually from it. And I'm 38.
Thank you so much for your openness about this journey! I can't relate to your exact circumstances, clearly, however I wasn't diagnosed with PTSD and Bipolar disorder until my late twenties. It ruined my life, and everyone just said I was irresponsible, reckless, useless, and lazy... and I believed them.
Now I still struggle here and there, but I'm SO much kinder to myself, and surprisingly, so are some of the people around me. Diagnosis makes all the difference, and I'm so happy for you!
CONGRATULATIOOONS!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
It’s because of great people online that I found out I have it a couple years ago at 30!
Love to see everyone sharing!!
Jessica, it could be good to try therapy that doesnt make you talk about the traumatic memories, but process the feelings of trauma in your body. I agree, it's not always productive to talk about it. Thanks for making this. It makes me so happy when someone shares there adhd story, because it can be such an isolating experience
My wife had a great therapist that did just this. She never had to talk about what happened to her in the past, so she did not need to relive anything. They just talked about how things are and how she can change things now. It helped her process her relationships with her family tremendously. ❤
I'm in the process of diagnosis and oh boy that was obvious!! My family never suspected because I was "too quiet" to have it or "too smart" for it (bonus: I'm gifted). The ableism and lack of information really made my life harder, specially as I was overlooked because my 3 neurodivergent younger siblings. Thank you for making this video!! It helps a lot on self discovery and information so more people know about it!!
Oof. The not struggling so they don't notice something ND is a mood. That's definitely me. Took 15 years for diagnoses and I understand I don't fit the stereotype but I mean come on. For the past like 8 years I've been obsessed with crows and bats. When I was younger snakes and cats was all my brain would focus on. How did they not notice? Idk
I can tell this was really difficult for you to share, so thank you for coming out. I am glad you have found a medication that works for you. And sheesh, sometimes you need a new diagnosis just to understand yourself better. People asking are so silly
Hearing somebody with the same disability to get acknowledged and appreciated, even congratulated on having succeeded through the struggle made me tear up cause i could really use that
Also, my "useless" is when i get called "lazy" hits me deeply and personally even when it's a supposed to be a joke
❤
I feel so so much where you are coming from. I was also diagnosed this year with ADHD as an adult. I've been "too tired to climb a tree" for as long as I can remember and my hyperactivity is also mostly internal. Thank you so much for sharing your story and making me feel seen as a tired inattentive lovely woman!
First off, this was a very vulnerable and beautiful video and thank you for making it. Second off, I was recently diagnosed with ADHD in my mid 20s and I completely relate to everything that you said in this video. I had the same experience with the specialist that diagnosed me; she related all of my symptoms back to examples of problems that people with ADHD have and I have never (EVER) felt more validated in my life than I did in that moment. Finding out about my ADHD was an incredible experience and I hope that others are able to have the same experience.
I have to say, I originally was scared about telling people. I had one person react by apologizing and immediately feeling bad for me and I had to make them feel better for me. It was an experience. Now, whenever I tell someone for the first time, I always follow it up immediately with 'please don't feel bad, it was the best thing that has ever happened to me'. Then there are people that I have told who also have ADHD and they congratulate me for having the courage to seek out a diagnoses and help. Once I got used to the ADHD label, I ended up being very open about it with a group of high schoolers that I mentored during a summer camp and I could tell that a lot of them had never actively known someone with the condition. Before telling them, I was able to show how far I've come and where I'm at today and I could tell that it helped them to grow a positive perspective on people with ADHD.
Any ways, I was teary-eyed and laughing throughout a lot of this video. As a woman, the experiences you described were incredibly relatable and I appreciate your ability to laugh at moments that would typically be overwhelming or seemingly unique. It's content creators like you who really make a difference and help people by showing how much their experience is relatable, thus showing them that they are not alone in this.
I have had pretty severe depression for the majority of my life and finding out that the vast majority of it (outside of external life circumstances) was due to my ADHD, really helped me to get treatment. Absolutely not a 100% cure but I've seriously never felt better. My new ability to be consistent and have the energy to be productive far more often than not has done me absolute wonders. If anyone out there is reading this and can relate, please do yourself a favor and seek help. You are not alone in this process and I wish you luck.
Also, your love story with Claudia is absolutely beautiful and wholesome. It's clear that she has been very supportive during this process and I'm happy to say that my partner has been the same.
I'm hyperfixating on typing this, I'm gonna end this here!
I feel you Jessica! I was late diagnosed ADHD as well- it's so much more common in us AFAB folks because we tend to appear forgetful, dreamy, and chatty rather than hyperactive & impulsive to the point of inconviencing others.
Hah this is exactly what you go on to say in the video