finding your style after coming out 🌈

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  • Опубликовано: 3 дек 2024

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  • @azdajajeanne
    @azdajajeanne 2 года назад +1406

    "The fake straight hair was symbolic of Claudia being a fake straight." -English teachers everywhere

    • @rio8529
      @rio8529 2 года назад +41

      Or art teachers😊

    • @desireestoddard4219
      @desireestoddard4219 2 года назад +17

      Not me being a lesbian English teacher who fully understands the symbolism you used 😂

  • @chocolatewolf3914
    @chocolatewolf3914 2 года назад +1205

    I think we should bring back the mysterious Detective Claudia look, it would really compliment Jessica’s 1950s style

  • @MultiDaisy1995
    @MultiDaisy1995 2 года назад +298

    I really appreciate Claudia’s willingness to be vulnerable & breakdown her style evolution… how it was so deeply tied to her sexuality, her surroundings, & a desire to be validated

  • @kevinruby9241
    @kevinruby9241 2 года назад +208

    I still remember the Jessica quote from one of your Ash Hardell collabs: "I have always known i liked girls. I have always been high femme. I am so high femme that i only find women attractive."

    • @ravina6686
      @ravina6686 2 года назад +13

      haha I remember this too, it stood out to me and I laughed so hard.

    • @knotyourcup0ftea
      @knotyourcup0ftea 2 года назад +16

      I remember feeling so seen when Jessica said this. As a bi femme, it’s always been such a (internally obvious, still had to escape that closet) logical thought process of “I love frilly dresses, why wouldn’t I like people who would be interested in frilly dresses.” Even with my spouse (a man) we bonded over interests more traditionally coded as feminine (he dies for late 40’s/early 50’s musical theatre and our text thread has been 50% pictures of baby animals since well before we were a couple).

  • @sillysoz
    @sillysoz 2 года назад +249

    That 'rust' colour looks beautiful on claudia, she definitely rocks autumn vibes :)

    • @tera_fish8875
      @tera_fish8875 2 года назад +16

      Yes! I also think it's cute how it matches with Jessica's hairband

    • @AvaNightingale
      @AvaNightingale 2 года назад +5

      @@tera_fish8875 oh dear, that headband is a plum color! Very pretty but definitely not a rust/burnt orange!

  • @AshNight1214
    @AshNight1214 2 года назад +531

    I feel like Claudia has that wonderful Katherine Hepburn ability to make "masculine" styles look strong and feminine. I've loved watching her style evolve over the years I've been subscribed :)

  • @fareebug8439
    @fareebug8439 2 года назад +114

    "I can accentuate my womanhood but without male attention." -Claudia
    💕💕👏👏👏👏👏👏👏💕💕

    • @cheskaarana6097
      @cheskaarana6097 2 года назад +11

      Imma screenshot, print, frame that quote on my wall.

  • @catherinec4868
    @catherinec4868 2 года назад +282

    I relate with the whole "not getting rid of the straight wardrobe IN CASE I NEED IT AT SOME POINT"

    • @HOHNancy
      @HOHNancy 2 года назад +10

      I bought a skirt for this exact reason. 😊

    • @djungelsoda
      @djungelsoda 2 года назад +23

      I didn’t realize that I was doing it before this video, I already have a hard time not keeping things in general but this is an extra layer I don’t need. I’ll have a look in my closet later today

    • @CorwinFound
      @CorwinFound 2 года назад +21

      Two years into transition (FTM) and I still haven't gotten rid of any of my women's clothing. I don't have a good reason. I don't wish to wear any of it and detransition is not anywhere in my cards. And yet I still have all these clothes. Kinda weird.

    • @lucmcconnell7241
      @lucmcconnell7241 2 года назад +11

      I finally got rid of all of my women’s clothing. I’m FtM and have been slowly giving away my skirts and dresses. But the last of it is being donated tomorrow; because being 2 years into hormones, I finally pass enough that women’s formal wear just looks odd on me haha

    • @CorwinFound
      @CorwinFound 2 года назад +6

      @@lucmcconnell7241 Congrats!

  • @leftisthomemaker
    @leftisthomemaker 2 года назад +254

    As a femme lesbian, I’d love to see a video like this about Jessica’s fashion as well!

    • @scilines
      @scilines 2 года назад +25

      Agreed, since she had mentioned before that she wasn’t always accepted by the lesbian community bc she is so feminine.

  • @SillyStokey92
    @SillyStokey92 2 года назад +595

    The last part is powerful. As a teenager, I new I was a bisexual woman, but through life experiences, I was convinced by peers and social pressure that I was "actually straight" because I didn't have any physical experiences with women. I took me until I was 25 years old or so to accept again that I was, in fact, a bisexual woman, but by that point, I was already in a committed, loving relationship with my now husband. I've also grappled with that idea of not really having to know or label how I feel because it doesn't effect my present life.

    • @raenewnham7490
      @raenewnham7490 2 года назад +40

      I've had a similar experience. No experiences with women but probably would have been open to it. Except I met my husband at 21 so I didn't really have a chance to explore that. When asked what my sexuality is I usually just say it doesn't matter because I married a man.

    • @sleepynightowl1550
      @sleepynightowl1550 2 года назад +81

      @@raenewnham7490 It does matter, because it's a huge part of your inner self. You're a bisexual woman who married a man. Nothing wrong with that and certainly nothing to be ashamed of. You are worthy of not only acknowledging your sexuality for what it is but also saying it out loud. You're wonderful just as you are :)

    • @Ann963
      @Ann963 2 года назад +1

      Same ❤

    • @zanahorialove9026
      @zanahorialove9026 2 года назад

      Oh hi you meee! Even my gay friend said I must be straight if I fancy boys...

    • @sarahk8053
      @sarahk8053 2 года назад +19

      100% relatable! I'm in the exact same boat and at almost 30 years old I still sometimes struggle with feeling legit in my bisexuality

  • @yeomansue
    @yeomansue 2 года назад +101

    Last year on Oct 8th I came out to all my family and friends vis Facebook. I came out late in life. I was 55. I was in the Navy for 20 years when you couldn't be openly gay. I retired in 2005 when you still could not be open in the military. It's a year later since coming out and I have found love for the first time in my life. I'm in a long distance relationship. She lives in Australia and I'm here in Phoenix, AZ. 4 weeks ago I asked her to marry me, she said, Yes. I will be flying down under in April next year and we will be getting married in Australia. Our relationship is also an age-gap relationship. She is 39 and I'm 56. She is a wonderful woman and absolutely gorgeous. I have never been happier than I am now since I came out. I am very Proud of who I am.

  • @jennifers5560
    @jennifers5560 2 года назад +406

    This was so funny and entertaining yet such a deep dive into Claudia’s psyche. Their good natured ribbing of each other through the video is testament to the strength of their relationship.

  • @narnigrin
    @narnigrin 2 года назад +302

    Also. Can we just. Jessica's expression while Claudia talks about sexuality and labels. I realise that you're probably lipreading her while she's talking but it's so lovely how intently you're, like, hanging on to her words and showing so much interest in her thoughts and argh, there's so much love in that expression (and the little hug/cuddle after 😭) How are you fine people such relationship goals ❤

    • @michellehuang3129
      @michellehuang3129 2 года назад +12

      Yes they’re so cute together!!

    • @cheskaarana6097
      @cheskaarana6097 2 года назад +25

      Ikr. It must've felt so validating to have someone who may not relate to you in some way but would appreciate you just as much, that you feel more open and safe about exploring that part of yourself .

    • @CorwinFound
      @CorwinFound 2 года назад +35

      It's lovely that Jessica doesn't seem to feel intimidated or threatened by Claudia potentially aligning as bi, somewhere in the middle, or just sexually ambiguous. Even encouraging about it. Speaks to the strength of their relationship.

    • @scattyuk
      @scattyuk 2 года назад +5

      Scrolled down to post exactly this!

  • @isobeljacob2427
    @isobeljacob2427 2 года назад +55

    I love the idea: 'Labels are tools, not tests'. I find this a helpful way of understanding some of what Claudia is saying about when you do/don't feel the need to 'label' yourself :)

  • @claireisacamel
    @claireisacamel 2 года назад +68

    Claudia’s always just seemed so effortlessly cool!

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 2 года назад +24

      It is interesting that she does not see her “coolness”.
      …Wait, does the fact that she does not see it, make her more cool?

    • @aquamarine3699
      @aquamarine3699 2 года назад +1

      Agreed!!!

  • @sadfaery
    @sadfaery 2 года назад +101

    I love that the ultimate lesson learned here is how important it is to explore ourselves and who we are, whether it's our clothes, sexual orientation, gender expression, hairstyles, etc. The more "you" you are, the happier and more confident you can ultimately be. And Claudia looked great in all the looks, but tomboy style is where she looks the most relaxed and natural. And happy is always best.

  • @jessicaoutofthecloset
    @jessicaoutofthecloset  2 года назад +160

    Thank you so much for watching lovely people

  • @bbekah
    @bbekah 2 года назад +275

    I always love when Claudia is on the Channel because I feel like i can relate to her journey a lot. I loved hearing her talk about bisexuality at the end. Its complicated when your feelings change over time or when you already met the love of your life. Someones queerness can evolve over time.
    I've also had a bit of a style evolution too since I realized I'm queer- but in the opposite direction. I've become way more female and "girly" than I was growing up.

    • @complainer406
      @complainer406 2 года назад

      I think some lesbians form an association between being girly and attracting male attention, which can make them shy away from it even before they know they're gay!

    • @theincredibleknuffibar4834
      @theincredibleknuffibar4834 2 года назад +15

      Yess! It was so beautiful. But I felt so sad when Claudia said she feels not cool enough to say she's queer. I feel like it's such a liberating term and we shouldn't limit ourselves or gatekeep idioms in our community 🌈

    • @mumemic
      @mumemic 2 года назад +10

      Me too! I also started dressing way more girly after I came out (I'm a cis woman). But like, girly in a quirked-up cottage core way lol

    • @marthahawkinson-michau9611
      @marthahawkinson-michau9611 2 года назад +3

      I’ve sort of always known I wasn’t quite straight, but I felt for the longest time that my religion demanded that I present as straight to the world.
      I’m still bisexual whether I admit to anyone around me or not. It was quite liberating to realize that I didn’t have to have experiences with women that would contradict my faith in order to admit that I am bisexual. I am bisexual whether or not I choose to act on my attraction to women.
      I am married to a man, and I do present as hyper femme. My style is in the process of moving towards a mid-century vintage look. If asked, I will admit to being bisexual, but I don’t think it’s super obvious either way. I’m not going to trip anyone’s “gaydar” that I’m obviously not straight. Being married, cisgender, and femme presenting, I probably pass as straight whether I try to or not. I don’t really try to care anymore though, I just want to be authentically myself now.
      I think I’ve found a balance that honors both my religion and my true self. It’s not easy to find that balance.

  • @thequeerrunner5745
    @thequeerrunner5745 2 года назад +41

    I REMEMBER Claudia's gilet transition moment. It was such a shift in her confidence. Gorgeous

    • @thequeerrunner5745
      @thequeerrunner5745 2 года назад +15

      Also Claudia, when I transitioned from female to trans masc person, I had a huge crisis of sexuality and oddly found myself increasingly drawn to men, despite having been solely in to women for a long time. The difference between me now and me twenty years ago is that I don't care. I like who I like

  • @jennifers5560
    @jennifers5560 2 года назад +178

    Coming out is very freeing, you aren’t hiding a huge thing about yourself anymore and it is easier to figure out who you are.
    I came out 24 years ago when I was 27 and I wish I had done it sooner. Don’t get me wrong, it was incredibly hard to tell that first person. She could barely understand what I was saying over my crying, cracking voice. But I could feel the weight lifted off of me once I said it! It was easier and easier after every person I told. (Note: don’t come out if it puts you in an unsafe situation .)

  • @AliceSylph
    @AliceSylph 2 года назад +59

    My favourite was the one with Walter. I went through a very long period of hating myself and refusing to have any pictures taken of me, but now I have an amazing dog who is my assistance dog and so now I allow photos of myself because she's in them too

  • @ellendavis9272
    @ellendavis9272 2 года назад +59

    Jessica sounding so scandalized when she says “ a sweater dress AND a belt!” Made my day!

  • @bewitchedbanshee
    @bewitchedbanshee 2 года назад +186

    This makes me feel so validated. I came out as bi last year and I was always more on the femme side until I realized that I feel more comfortable in men's and unisex clothes. I began enjoying cologne more than perfume and being viewed as androgynous. Sometimes I still feel out of place with my gender presentation, but videos like this help.

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 2 года назад +9

      You are valid no matter how you present yourself. ❤

    • @doodooo2372
      @doodooo2372 2 года назад +11

      I know it can feel lonely, I am also androgynous presenting. Similar to this video, the RUclipsr madeyoulooks (or Jade Fox on her other channel) has made me feel more seen. She is an androgynous style RUclipsr and maybe she would be of help to you too! 😊

    • @persephonebasilissa5109
      @persephonebasilissa5109 2 года назад +4

      Identifying strongly with you, as I sit here in my boxer briefs, cargo pants and white a-shirt. Androgynous bisexual comfort!

    • @MegaKhelditia
      @MegaKhelditia 2 года назад

      What about waistcoats?

  • @Karincl7
    @Karincl7 2 года назад +40

    I m 50 always had straight relationships but now, i really don t know anymore ... hope youngsters can be theirselves so much more then in my time.. ❤️ love the cuteness between you 2

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 2 года назад +15

      It is never too late to feel your feelings. I’m 51 and have been out for 24 years. I still meet people my age that are just starting to come out.

    • @techoutsider5631
      @techoutsider5631 2 года назад +10

      As a youngster, this means a lot to me, love to hear your thoughts 😊

  • @AsioEntomo
    @AsioEntomo 2 года назад +35

    This kinda came out at a funny time, as I've been in the process of fully rebuilding my wardrobe. I went from typical women's clothes to whatever cheap boy's clothes would fit. Now I've started actually cultivating a wardrobe of things I want to wear, which... is mainly garish button-ups and anything with insects on it. In fact, I just bought a button-up with an adorable cockroach pattern on it, and a bolo tie with a cicada!

  • @tera_fish8875
    @tera_fish8875 2 года назад +14

    The comfortable post-pregnancy look is my favorite. She looks so relaxed and confident

  • @ceirwynsinclair4198
    @ceirwynsinclair4198 2 года назад +19

    Claudia is one of the coolest people I've ever seen! Keep true to yourself!

  • @karmakauffman7445
    @karmakauffman7445 2 года назад +31

    I love Claudia’s style now with the boyfriend jeans, oversized men’s tees, vest and leather shoes. She looks comfortable, happy, and natural. ❤️

  • @PhoebeFayRuthLouise
    @PhoebeFayRuthLouise 2 года назад +21

    Claudia, I have always thought of you as ultra-cool! And I love the way the two of you laugh together! Y’all are complete couple goals!

    • @jessicaoutofthecloset
      @jessicaoutofthecloset  2 года назад +7

      Thank you! Totally agree Claud is ultra-cool, maybe because she doesn't know it

    • @PhoebeFayRuthLouise
      @PhoebeFayRuthLouise 2 года назад +2

      @@jessicaoutofthecloset Ha! Maybe that’s the key!

  • @KISSESFROMAFRIEND
    @KISSESFROMAFRIEND 2 года назад +55

    I can’t thank y’all enough for helping me come out to my family both as an asexual woman and as a disabled person. Thanks for your encouragement ❤

  • @abishop1223
    @abishop1223 2 года назад +34

    I love this! Claudia, I do identify as queer, but also a very boring non cool person. Embrace you and what feels right. Thanks for sharing with us. I really enjoy seeing you both. It is like catching up with friends.

  • @albuszx
    @albuszx 2 года назад +25

    This was a lovely video! Claudia's style struggles reminds me of my mum, actually, who's not queer but has never been into femme clothes, and is really into solid dark colours, comfortable "professional" cuts, and also struggles a lot with having frizzy hair

  • @boredgrass
    @boredgrass 2 года назад +3

    Sometimes the gods let a beautiful couple blossom in loving thoughtfulness; and it is a joy to behold.

  • @yesterdaydream
    @yesterdaydream 2 года назад +3

    Had no idea Claudia could make such a convincing Nadja from What We Do in the Shadows! What a fun retrospective.

  • @bretthaddock8954
    @bretthaddock8954 2 года назад +8

    Total respect to Claudia for being good hearted with the video. I don’t know if I could have gone through my old pictures on camera with such grace.

  • @odlotowybalkon4967
    @odlotowybalkon4967 2 года назад +10

    I relate so much to everything Claudia said about her history with feeling gay, realizing she's bi, trying to emulate all of those labels... It feels cathartic to know its a common feeling, thanks guys

  • @SpryMahiMahi
    @SpryMahiMahi Год назад +3

    i have a rust cardigan like claudia does here and i gotta say i'm so glad

  • @estarramanderley8172
    @estarramanderley8172 2 года назад +20

    I truly identify with the "not cool enough to be queer" sentiment. I never "came out" as bisexual although I knew pretty early on.
    But now that I'm married to a straight man I feel like an imposter.

  • @kaitlynnp582
    @kaitlynnp582 2 года назад +10

    I really like this video. I was a bit of a late bloomer, and I'm still figuring out my style. What Claudia said about presenting not for the male gaze at a family thing makes a lot of sense to me. It's a great feeling.

  • @nectarina3891
    @nectarina3891 2 года назад +50

    I love where you are now about labels Claudia, I don't identify strongly with the community or want a label really. I feel like I am just an average person who happens to be attracted to both men and women. overidentifying with labels makes me feel less like me and more like I have to follow a script given by society.

    • @cheskaarana6097
      @cheskaarana6097 2 года назад +5

      Same. The way I think about it is that labels are mostly for other people to have quicker time to identify me for themselves, and I hate that idea.

    • @Franticfae
      @Franticfae 2 года назад +2

      Some people find comfort in being able to neatly organize their feelings/identity with labels, but it's totally valid not to as well! Everyone's journey is different

  • @Corvid2100
    @Corvid2100 2 года назад +14

    The love and adoration in Jessica’s eyes as Claudia is talking about her sexuality is so pure and lovely 💜

  • @thatfunkygrape1262
    @thatfunkygrape1262 2 года назад +5

    I love Claudia's current style, its the style that the women I'm attracted to wear, not super masc not super fem, the perfect middle ground. Y'all are adorable together as always!!!!

  • @jesss8861
    @jesss8861 2 года назад +13

    This is so relatable. When I came out (even to myself) I felt like I had to chop off my hair and change completely to be “recognized.” I’ve learned since then.

  • @kdmac1958
    @kdmac1958 2 года назад +20

    Well, I was born in 1959 in the midwest USA. Little girls in the '60s definitely all had long hair and wore dresses even during the week. I had very short hair and wore jeans and Keds. When we played house, I was always the husband!Sadly, my mother was mentally ill and took up most of my father's home time. Then of course he worked a lot to pay medical bills. She was in and out of the hospital a lot. I think because of that, worrying about what I looked like was low on the list. I had older brothers that were twins. So I inherited all the jeans, t-shirts and boots a baby dykeling could wish for. And I think it was just easier to let me keep my hair cut off than to worry about keeping it long and taking care of it.
    I only wore dresses to school and church when my mom was feeling up to taking us. I hated every second of it. By High School, I always wore pants. For school I would usually wear a nice top. I even carried a purse for a while until I started putting so much stuff in it it was ridiculous, so I dropped the purse. I definitely got teased a lot because it was obvious I was a lesbian. I was lucky that I had a very femme face. I'll even say I was pretty, or it might have been worse. I got asked out a fair bit by boys. I tried, but it just wasn't for me. I always went my own way and did what I wanted to. I had a lot of male friends that accepted me as an equal because of sports or other things we had in common.
    So, if I could be myself decades ago when it wasn't as accepted, you LGBTQIA young folks of today just be yourselves. It's your right to be who you are. We just need to keep pushing until the rest of the world falls in line. 💟
    Strength and love to all of you out there. ❤️👭👩‍❤️‍👩

  • @libbettmirabal3624
    @libbettmirabal3624 2 года назад +27

    it made me so happy when jessica said people change and labels do as well!! they do and that’s ok!!! i first came out at 16 as bi (still identify that way) and then as greyromantic and just this june, at 19, i came out as genderfluid and it’s so liberating but also, who cares?? i’m still figuring it out and my being out means i told my bsf (cos that’s my family) and idk there’s a lot to discover about myself still yknow? and i’m only just starting to feel ok with wearing what i want to, and it’s a slow process but it’s happening.
    this channel is so lovely, i’ve been watching for just as long as i first came out and honestly, you two are so so important to me!!! thanks for the videos and for, in some way, being there for me. i really need(ed) that. it’s grand that you have a platform that’s so diverse and understanding, i think a lot of people don’t get to have that at home and stuff and i’m really grateful for it. honestly, even the ‘lesbian mums’ videos and such, it’s nice to feel good about being who i am cos i know i won’t be judged? i’m really glad for this safe space, i don’t have many of those. anyway. thanks xxxxxx

  • @lipstickcats2047
    @lipstickcats2047 2 года назад +8

    Claudia, if you can find it, alpaca wool is amazing! It's warm and cozy and soft, not itchy at all!!

  • @Captain_Pink
    @Captain_Pink 2 года назад +6

    Claudia it looks like you got highlights in your hair and you look GLOWING and the caramel color in your hair looks amazing on you!!

  • @ValerieSanFilippo
    @ValerieSanFilippo 2 года назад +5

    This made me feel way less alone in my struggle to feel comfortable in my clothing. I used to dress hyper-feminine, and now that I’ve come out I feel like a lot of those same styles aren’t comfortable anymore. But at the same time, a lot of the clothes I do like aren’t flattering in a heterosexual way, so I’ve got a voice in my head telling me to dress more straight. I do remember one day when I fully embraced my queerness in an outfit, even people I know who don’t like queerness came up to me and told me I looked beautiful. Fashion is such a loaded topic, and yet entirely mundane. I’m really grateful to Claudia for sharing her honest and down-to-earth experiences.

  • @deep6393
    @deep6393 2 года назад +5

    My favorite is actually the outfit she had on in this video !The crew neck t-shirt with the cute cardigan and necklace is a lovely balance of femme and masc

    • @crowcalls
      @crowcalls 2 года назад +1

      I actually really appreciate hearing that, as someone who wants to look confusing/androgynous and sometimes wears a similar outfit.

  • @toveswartling-eriksson450
    @toveswartling-eriksson450 2 года назад +10

    Honestly I’m just stunned that Claudia is so beautiful ❤

  • @cutepuppe
    @cutepuppe 2 года назад +34

    The post pregnancy look is my absolute favourite. Love the confidence!! 🖤

    • @jennoscura2381
      @jennoscura2381 2 года назад +2

      Yes! She is gorgeous in that picture. But I am attracted to butches; so I am biased.

  • @SD-qu8vp
    @SD-qu8vp 2 года назад +5

    I like the fact, that you do not need validation on your looks. Therefore no need to tell you my favourite, as I think you are a wonderful human being no matter what fabric your body is covered by

  • @Amyduckie
    @Amyduckie Год назад +1

    Re: validation, I’ve found that instead of looking to the people around me for inspiration and validation of what I wear, like I used to when I was younger, but just find that validation online of people who dress like I prefer to dress. That’s why I think online communities are so powerful.

  • @marie-francehupe7845
    @marie-francehupe7845 2 года назад +6

    I relate so much with Claudia's search for herself and how to express it - both in fashion and identity. It feels especially good for me because I'm surrounded by people like Jessika, who have always known about themselves and move through life with such confidence.

  • @katelynryder9103
    @katelynryder9103 2 года назад +26

    I’m always so excited for Claudia content! Love watching the two of you together. ❤

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 2 года назад +4

      I’m with you on that. My heart was melting when Jessica hugged Claudia’s arm near the end.

  • @joanderson6880
    @joanderson6880 2 года назад +8

    I'm kinda in that middle, still very much questioning ground. I know that I'm definitely on the asexuality spectrum, but I have no idea what or who I'm into romantically? It's a journey, as you said. I've also been on a style journey since leaving high school (Christian, very heteronormative, no fun at all) and I'm finally getting somewhere where I feel pretty comfortable in how I present myself to the world, not that it's even about the world at all. This means so much to me, looking back at my journey with my clothing and looking forward to figuring out my identity as a queer person. Love you ladies so much!

  • @terryenby2304
    @terryenby2304 2 года назад +17

    Aww! It’s so sweet that you went to Jamie and Shaaba’s wedding!! 🎉 you four are both some of my favourite queer YTers!

  • @michelleswanson6347
    @michelleswanson6347 2 года назад +27

    I'm glad you feel more comfortable with your clothes now! I feel like age helps a lot with that - you feel like you don't have to fit in as much, and you just don't care as much after trying for so long. I think we all have have styles and outfits from our past we wouldn't like now, but that's just part of trying new things and changing as people. Also, I love how your style now. You look so comfortable, relaxed, and happy

  • @toni2309
    @toni2309 2 года назад +103

    Finding my style after coming out as a trans guy while still not on hormones, having sensory processing disorder and also being broke isn't exactly the easiest task. What I find hard is that I don't really want to let go of the feminine stuff because it's pretty... but then I don't actually feel comfortable in it, I only like to look at it, not really wear it.

    • @agostoangosto9442
      @agostoangosto9442 2 года назад +12

      oh if that isnt a mood

    • @awkwardsauceart
      @awkwardsauceart 2 года назад +12

      SAME (ish) I'm non-binary but consider myself transmasc and I've been having a lot of fun exploring more traditionally masculine forms of dress because I haven't really tried dressing that way before! but it's unexpectedly difficult because I HATE wearing jeans and I'm short so I can't seem to find ones that aren't skinny but don't look ridiculous on me 💀

    • @oiytd5wugho
      @oiytd5wugho 2 года назад +12

      Have you ever had any interest in sewing? You can take the pretty things and make them masculine, best of both worlds

    • @EyeGlassTrainofMind
      @EyeGlassTrainofMind 2 года назад +6

      How about Decor? That way the frills etc., are around you but not on* you?

    • @jennoscura2381
      @jennoscura2381 2 года назад +12

      I really like thrift/charity shops for picking up clothes on the cheap. It's an affordable way to experiment with your style.

  • @katvinson4447
    @katvinson4447 2 года назад +6

    I honestly was not expecting to be touched by this video but it has been so refreshing to hear the perspective of someone who has gone through something so similar to myself in terms of self discovery. Thank you for sharing your experience. It means a lot hearing someone who is clearly happy with their life speak so candidly about their navigation of the queer space.

  • @Peppermintytea
    @Peppermintytea 2 года назад +10

    Claudia looks gorgeous no matter what she wears...and I appreciated the last bit of the conversation about the spectrum of sexuality and changing how you identify over time as you get to know yourself.

  • @Atalinay
    @Atalinay 2 года назад +10

    Love this video! I relate a lot with Claudia. Its nice having someone to look to for these life experiences and see them doing well :)

  • @LizTiddington
    @LizTiddington 2 года назад +4

    Claudia and i are so similar with never throwing things away! slow fashion is great! i love re-wearing and repairing my clothes 😁

  • @zhenia2511
    @zhenia2511 2 года назад +5

    Jessica's voice in this video is so husky. Love Claudia's coming out story. She just took her time , figured herself out and then told others. No pressure. I want to buy myself combat boots and leather jacket with leather gloves , but the circumstances in Ukraine right now don't allow experimentation.

    • @PhoebeFayRuthLouise
      @PhoebeFayRuthLouise 2 года назад +2

      I hope you are safe! We’re praying for your country here in the USA!

    • @zhenia2511
      @zhenia2511 2 года назад +3

      @@PhoebeFayRuthLouise I'm more or less safe. Thank you. Appreciate the concern.

  • @wildscotsman1
    @wildscotsman1 2 года назад +8

    Claudia is a beautiful woman whatever she wears, but I did like the pencil striped skirt outfit. I have watched you both since long before you were married and I have witnessed the love between you both grow stronger and stronger. As for style I think whatever you feel comfortable wearing is the ideal style for you, regardless of your sexuality.

  • @callunya
    @callunya 2 года назад +2

    Love Claudia’s style journey! She absolutely glows the more and more she dresses as she finds most comfortable. So true when she said she looks better when she feels better, we can see it!!! And I feel it. I have these “granny dresses” I bought and I worried I would look too old fashioned but loved them and wore them - and got loads of compliments!

  • @independentplatypus
    @independentplatypus 2 года назад +3

    Very relatable talking about labels - At one point I literally said to someone 'oh yeah if I were younger and cooler I'd probably identify as non-binary'... Two years later I figure out, no I just actually am non-binary 😂 I love seeing people's journeys to embracing themselves, wherever that takes them

  • @septemberrose2761
    @septemberrose2761 2 года назад +2

    When you feel comfortable and confident, that comes across and it is beautiful.

  • @carinafreeman6432
    @carinafreeman6432 2 года назад +6

    Thank you so much for this video. IMHO, Claudia has always looked cool (as far as I could see in the videos). I also have to say I too have come out to one of my mentors and my family. Didn’t know that yesterday was International Coming Out Day. Seeing Jessica’s videos and learning more about LGBTQIA+ helped me so much in figuring things out. So, again, thanks to my honorary queer Internet aunts. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️❤️🧡💕🤎🖤🤍💜💚💙🌈

  • @BS-ne5cr
    @BS-ne5cr 2 года назад +4

    Just be you. Wear what makes you happy. Don't think that you have to declare who/what you are. People change and that's ok.

  • @wheelylazylaris
    @wheelylazylaris 2 года назад +13

    Loved this video! I came out last year (and funnily enough I called myself queer right away instead of trying to find the right label). I do have some feminine pieces like jumpsuits and dresses, but I'm most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt or jeans and a sweater and in the last few years I have gravitated to more unisex clothing). I actually have always felt more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt or sweater and never tried to dress like my friends or family

  • @juanitadaniels7511
    @juanitadaniels7511 2 года назад +4

    Thank you Claudia for sharing your journey with us.

  • @erin_explorestheoutdoors
    @erin_explorestheoutdoors 2 года назад +2

    This was such a sweet video. Claudia speaks with such kindness and compassion towards her younger self, and it is so beautiful!

  • @SewlockHolmes
    @SewlockHolmes 2 года назад +3

    The fleece is so on point and I love seeing the different glasses Claudia went through. Seeing her get happier with each outfit was really inspiring.
    Claudia, it was really cool to hear you talk about being on the spectrum of sexuality and how it can evolve or be realized differently over time. I'm in a journey of understanding my bisexuality and it's actually kind of funny because my clothing changes is almost polar opposite to yours. I started out very tomboy and am looking to make myself corsets and wear skirts and hidden pants. I'm not at a point where I have a full wardrobe I'm comfortable wearing and that I feel myself in but it's a start! Thanks so much for sharing your journey!

  • @SuperScaryAri
    @SuperScaryAri 2 года назад +3

    This video made me cry, not only from laughter but from feeling so understood and accepted. Much love to both of you 🥰🥰🥰🥰

  • @WaffleCrab
    @WaffleCrab 2 года назад +5

    It's always fun watching your style content because I my personal style is a combination of both of yours. I wear Claudia's style day to day and then Jessica's as more formal wear.

  • @thesocialpalm
    @thesocialpalm 2 года назад +3

    Love Claudia’s looks coming into her own! I’ve gone through a whole variety of looks (& hair colors) over the years and have leaned into my comfy, occasionally eccentric hippy vibes and yessss to comfortable shoes!!! Had a whole debate (argument) with a friend who said all my sandals were too masculine & that I needed to look more feminine / sexy… and my rebuttal which I still stand by: femininity isn’t one thing / one type of look & there’s nothing sexier than someone who feels comfortable, confident and like themselves in what they wear & who they are 😉. Wherever we land on the 🌈 sexuality spectrum 😄

  • @sofiaivarsson3482
    @sofiaivarsson3482 2 года назад +3

    It's ok to take time to figure out who you are and how you want to visually represent yourself. Thank you for an entertaining example of this! It takes curage to show the journey and not just the end result.

  • @sian3475
    @sian3475 2 года назад +8

    this is such a great video! I’ve been in a relationship with a woman (my wonderful gf) for 1.5yrs and I feel like I’m really struggling to understand my style now as an outwardly queer person. Think this video has given me the courage to finally get rid of some of my old clothes ☺️💕

  • @LilDinoGuy
    @LilDinoGuy 2 года назад +6

    I love this! I began realizing I was bi around the same time I started dating my boyfriend (and we’re getting married this weekend), so it’s been an interesting process of exploring my sexuality while at the same time remaining in a committed monogamous relationship. I really appreciate that Claudia shared that because I think it’s made a lot of us feel seen. ^^

  • @AndrewD8Red
    @AndrewD8Red 2 года назад +6

    My 36 year old wife's bisexual and she only just came out. Most people already knew beforehand, but we obviously weren't going to talk about it until she felt comfortable.
    I'm pansexual, but absolutely terrified of coming out, even to my wife. Excluding ex-partners, there are only four people who know I'm pan.
    I'd like to come out, but since my family is crazy homophobic, I'll be keeping it pretty quiet until now.

  • @KatjeKat86
    @KatjeKat86 2 года назад +7

    I am very far from cool but I love the term queer it's such an easy explanation without having to hash out details with anyone. Also I've never had a coming out because I've never hid who I was but most people do assume because I'm very feminine that I must be straight. I've just never found it necessary in most circumstances to correct them. I like the more modern look where you can tell Claudia is very comfortable and with what she's wearing.

  • @louburnett6782
    @louburnett6782 2 года назад +4

    This was a very honest and brave video and will have undoubtedly helped others 👏. I am a tomboy and struggled all my life with the pressure and expectations of others, especially a fashion conscious mum who grew up in the 60’s. In the end, I just dressed how I liked, which is basically no make-up, short hair, mens t-shirt, jeans and boots. I had similar struggles with people thinking I was gay, but in the end it doesn’t matter what other people think, I am an ally and know what I am. Still sometimes wish I felt more comfortably in dresses and stuff, but in the end, it’s just not me 😊

  • @7airgear
    @7airgear 2 года назад +5

    Claudia I really relate to you, both as far as discovering your style goes and just your relationship with your identity. I identified as asexual for a really long time, but I have recently come to the realization that instead of fitting a label to me, I have been trying to fit myself to a label. I think that was both a result of insecurity and needing to prove to everyone in my life that I am not in fact straight and have no desire to be with a man, especially since that kind of thing was pushed on me for such a long time. But now that I am an adult, I have come to realize that I don't need to prove myself to anyone and that sexuality is in fact a spectrum. Sometimes I do feel attraction to people, sometimes I don't. Sometimes they are girls, sometimes they are guys, sometimes they are nonbinary. What kind of attraction? Sexual, sensual, romantic, platonic - I don't know. I don't care at this point. I'm just gonna feel how I feel and let other people worry about what they wanna call me.

  • @kestrelslater4029
    @kestrelslater4029 2 года назад +5

    Claudia is definitely looking happy and confident. I like the sleek but kinda rugged tomboyish but not quite androgynous looks

  • @smileyface702
    @smileyface702 2 года назад +1

    I appreciate the vulnerability, Claudia. Lots that I relate to. Fun the way that Jessica's voice is so deep in this video.

  • @kaseydexter9736
    @kaseydexter9736 2 года назад +22

    I totally identify as queer. For me, it's about not just my sexuality but also my gender expression. I identify as a woman but in a gay way, if that makes sense. Like Claudia says, accentuate my feminine body in a masculine way. I like dressing in a coded way that other queer people can identify as queer.

    • @doodooo2372
      @doodooo2372 2 года назад +4

      I feel a similar way, so thank you! It is not the ideal label for me as I am asexual (hetero-oriented), but it feels so perfect for the way I like to present and feel. Honestly you described it perfectly 😊

  • @Doedee311
    @Doedee311 2 года назад +2

    Claud I can so relate to everything you’ve said. I’m 53 and recently was able to identify this part of me. I haven’t been able to name it and hearing and seeing your journey, I was so able to relate

  • @eyeseajujubee
    @eyeseajujubee 2 года назад +3

    I loved this video. I really relate to Claudia’s style journey. I’ve recently become more comfortable with my bisexuality and I’ve started finding clothes that feel like me, not what society expects me to wear.

  • @hellogoodbyeandallinbetween
    @hellogoodbyeandallinbetween 2 года назад +2

    I recently came out to myself, and want to explore styling more now, especially corsetry and more vintage styles. I know I love a dress, I also love a more masculine look on other people, but I'm also plus size and hate the way my body looks in styles that I like on other people. I'm finding it really hard.
    It's inspiring to hear someone else's story

  • @teshuvatolchin5938
    @teshuvatolchin5938 2 года назад +13

    my birthday is national coming out day! i always say it’s cuz i “came out” (of my mom)

  • @Respectable_Username
    @Respectable_Username Год назад +1

    Love seeing the increase in self-confidence in the photos over the years! So glad you found your style ❤

  • @Goddybag4Lee
    @Goddybag4Lee 2 года назад +1

    Claudia looks so much more comfortable in the newer pictures. And that is always a good thing. No matter who you are if you look comfortable and not overly dressed up you will win in the long run!

  • @renegarofalo1569
    @renegarofalo1569 2 года назад +4

    I loved this episode! It’s wonderful to hear Claudia speak about her self.

  • @doodooo2372
    @doodooo2372 2 года назад +9

    Thank you, the video and the comments made me feel validated from so many different points that were brought up. Most importantly, I was also a huge people pleaser until a couple years and now working on finding my style and expressing myself through my clothes. Sometimes it feels overwhelming, so thank you for sharing your journey! Especially as I also identify with the sweet spot of masculine clothing for the feminine body :)

  • @karlalovesyouutube
    @karlalovesyouutube 2 года назад +6

    love the improvement claudia has had with fashion and how she has found herself during this journey and how we as individuals are always learning and upgrading ourselves and that theres time to figure one self out, thank you for this sharing this journey!!
    also have to say that the fashion thru the years looks extrenely british which is super appropriate. great video :)

  • @JaneAustenAteMyCat
    @JaneAustenAteMyCat 2 года назад +70

    You two are so lovely. Thank you for being such amazing role models for the younger generation. When I was growing up there was little to no LBGTQ+ representation. No one even spoke about it, other than in church where we were told it was 'wrong'

  • @beyond-the-night
    @beyond-the-night 2 года назад +4

    My favorite picture is at 23:11, I love how happy Claudia looks in it ^-^. I also really love the 16:10 outfit, it's definitely a style I personally like a lot. I completely agree, people should wear what they feel most comfortable in and what makes them happy. I also agree with most people being bisexual, as sexuality is very much a scale. I've thought this for quite a few years now, so it's neat to hear that there are others out there who think the same way.

  • @JuMixBoox
    @JuMixBoox 2 года назад +12

    This was surprisingly relatable! I wouldn't call myself a tom-boy (I don't like that word anyway) and I'm not even out in most of my daily life, but a lot of what Claudia said really resonated with me and was something that I had never really said out loud before. Even with the identity talks towards the end, that definitely fits me too. Defining myself as not straight and outside of that framework of expectations is definitely more aligned with what I want than outing myself in a new box.

  • @joylox
    @joylox 2 года назад +2

    "I don't get rid of things..." Yeah, I still have stuff I wore in high school, like 8 years ago. Although I feel similar to the part with jeans. I got a pair of Levi's jeans for the first time since I was maybe 10, and since I got these jeans at a warehouse sale (mostly returned items from Amazon), they didn't have things separated by gender, so I just saw a pair of jeans that looked like they'd fit and bought them. They're a men's boot cut and they fit so well, the fabric is strong so it's practical and makes me feel good at the same time. I'm still figuring things out myself. I also feel like I don't need to have a name for everything. I have a loving partner, and we both are not strictly straight cisgender, but don't really define it, just do what we're comfortable with.