I was reminded so hard of my year nine health oral: "using condoms is just like brushing your teeth..." My teacher started laughing and I had no idea why! Strange analogies are my favourite :)
Also I think I'm fusilli lunghi. On account of loving the concept of it in a recipe about making The Twits wormy spaghetti in the Roald Dahl Revolting Recipes book which I spent hours upon hours re-reading as a kid.
When I was being evaluated for autism, the doctor took of some "autism points" (idk what they're called) because I was too self aware. I had told her, "I am very obsessed with pirates right now, but chances are I will have a different obsession in a year or so." (11 year old me was right about that, btw.) Low self-awareness isn't part of the criteria for autism, it's just a stereotype. Mind blindness is very different from low self awareness.
@@tvaholicsquidney ??? you have no idea what you’re talking about and how much autism affects people in ways you don’t see. I also have been seeking a diagnosis but rejected due to stereotypes and a male based criteria. (Despite the fact that every doctor or social worker who has worked with me for long enough comes to the conclusion of autism). It’s actually quite difficult to reach a diagnosis for a lot of us. Just because you don’t see the way their autism affects them does not mean it isn’t there. I suggest you look into what masking is and please educate yourself before speaking further on the subject.
@@tvaholicsquidney You are deeply misinformed about autism and it’s diagnostic process, please educate yourself. I’ve seen a few comments from you on this video in particular and all of them are spreading misinformation.
"Fun fact": I seeked diagnosis by an autism expert who works in a very respected hospital in my country (Germany). The first thing that bothered me and stressed me out was that I had to wait for over an hour despite having an appointment and people there knew I wouldn't see the doctor for a while... yet no one bother to tell me that... Additonally I had to travel from a different city there and would need to catch my train back home in less than three hours. Massively stressful... By the time I finally got to see the doctor I expected him to apologise for not having the appointment on time - because that's what every doctor so far did in the past in my experience. He didn't. He didn't say why the appointment didn't happen in time. In fact I noticed that he had been there all the time, chatting with people about random things, etc. and didn't do his damn job. That's a big no in my book... So naturally I was upset about not getting seen on time when he clearly did have the time for that and he didn't even bother to tell me a white lie. I was literally standing in front him fidgeting and stimming and rocking and being SO painfully obviously autistic and after not even five sentences from me and no questions about anything relating to me seeking an autism diagnosis - he looked at me straight and said that he can test me for autism but that he doesn't see the point and that I'm "VERY likely not autistic" in a very condescending way... I was just shocked... I was literally showing stereotypical autistic behaviour and stressed out of my mind and he said THAT. His medicial bias couldn't have shown any stronger apparently... And that was someone who actually worked on a study about autism where they took blood samples of people and wanted to look for differences between autistic and neurotypical people... (That alone sounded very dumb and illogical to me tbh.) So after that I needed an entire week to recover from that experience and the stress of it all. Luckily I was already on the waiting list of a hospital in my city who also diagnose autism in adults. The whole time I was there I felt actually heard and they kept asking when they weren't sure if they understood something correctly. When I got my diagnosis from them it was SUCH a relief and I was told totally stunned by the doctor that he didn't understood how I wasn't diagnosed already because it's SO obvious that I'm autistic... I was too overwhelmed to actually tell him the multiple reasons as to why (half of my family seems to be on the spectrum without knowing it and are very heavily in denial about a bunch of things) and I'm still not sure if he actually wanted an answer to that or not (probably not but I would have given him one anyway). I was lucky that I got my diagnosis only a couple of weeks before going on holiday to Disneyland Resort Paris because that way I could get him to write a small statement about having autism and thus getting accomodated in the two theme parks (which is mainly being able to skip lines and being able to return at a certain time for a character meeting - it was so much less stressful than the other times I've been there before getting my diagnosis and made a huge difference for me) - which was something he didn't know. I'm actually really glad that he learned that from me because he's responsible for diagnosing children and can tell families about it now and maybe that way some people actually will go there and have it less stressful as well... I can't wait to go back once everything is back to "normal" and my son is a bit older. Now that I have an official disability card the cost is gonna be less because my boyfriend won't have to pay for his stay basically since he's gonna be the one who helps me around and stuff - and that's a perk Disneyland Paris hides really well on their websites and they have a fool proof way of going about it so it doesn't get abused. (You have to book via phone, get an email with the normal price for everything, then you send them a copy of the disability card via email and then you get an email with the reduced price back.) I just really LOVE Disney (I think that's pretty clear.) and going to Disneyland Paris is way better for me than going on to a health resort (I've been dragged to one once and after that I would have needed four weeks of something like that but this time without the dozens of people. It stressed me out so much.). The last time I went there I was so stressed out that I felt like I might need two years of therapy and at least half a year with no human contact to destress. Once I was there for an hour the entire stress that had piled up in the last few years was pretty much gone... If I would be able to speak French I would have applied to work there ages ago but I really don't get the hang of it, so I have to save up for a few years in order to afford going to my number one happy place that destresses me... but it's worth it for me... 😶 (Sorry for the massiv rant!! 😅)
@@tvaholicsquidney my experience was nothing like this and neither are the experiences of plenty of people (especially woman and young girls) it's not even like this with other disorders misdiagnose and lack of diagnose can be dangerous, i was put of medication that's known to make my disorder worse for y e a r s and while it was making me literally lose my mind i was constantly told it was my fault by professionals also, what are the negatives to people who have autism actually being diagnosed? do you think you're suddenly going to have to pay millions in taxes or something because of it??? (i personally don't have autism but the combined symptoms of my other disorders are similar to autism in many ways)
I have had these same thoughts and noticed the same.....I have also noticed that although we are the ones who are labeled as having "mind blindness"...we at least still give a crap about it....a vast majority of the general population is so self-centered they refuse to care/think about what others think/feel....to me that's true blindness...we're just mind nearsighted or mind farsighted, since there's still some effort there from our "eyes" at least. Lol. Sorry. Terrible analogy.
@@SoManyRandomRamblings It's actually very insightful. Little wordy, yes. But it's genuine and it's yours. There's some history backing your sentiment up too. ❤️ ~ "It's the blind leading the blind." - The Upanishads, 800-200 B.C. ~ "In the land of the blind, the One-Eyed man is king" - Desiderius Erasmus's Adagia (1500) Look into it, do some reading, and you could construct a beautiful argument. I think what these two quotes can ultimately teach us, is that this isn't a new occurrence. Humans have long since been this way.
@@SoManyRandomRamblings perfectly valid. Like Annie, I'm an excellent masker, and, having studied neurotypical interaction extensively, I've come to believe that all those social interactions we don't understand are codes and sort of... stock vignettes; like archetypal themes, but on a more mundane level. They learn them and play them, but they don't ever go underneath them; for the autist, it's ALL underneath.... We don't have that layer of social armor, and, while we see it on other people, we very often see through it.... Either that, or we see it and take it for their real essence, which is definitely a handicap. I think the degree to which we are fooled reflects the degree to which they are consciously hiding their motives. So, basically, neurotypical behavior at its most deceptive IS self-interested; it's in aid of protecting their soft emotional underbelly with ritual behavior....
I am autistic and I've noticed that so many people don't seem to get this. I've heard things like: "But my autistic cousin doesn't struggle with that so why do you?" or something similar, so many times. I constantly have to tell people that autism is a spectrum and everyone experiences it differently. Also since I've been diagnosed all my friends have been trying to compare themselves to me and say things like: "Oh yeah I struggle with that too, I must be autistic then" and all I can say is that if they think so they should get that tested. It really annoys me for some reason that when I talk about my struggles people can only talk about how they struggle with that too. Like, no you're not struggling with the same thing, something similar perhaps but everyone is unique so stop comparing please.
Brenda Brodhagen yeah I never really understood it to be honest 😂 I can recall events and memories pretty well but ask me to remember a bunch of terms for a test, haha no thank you
I just say trivia and making people uncomfortable, then say a very disturbing true fact and stand there awkwardly 😂. Sometimes it can be fun playing to stereotypical expectations
Carey Roberts haha brilliant. I usually try and come up with really outlandish responses for stupid questions like that. Livens the conversation up a bit 😂
But can we please talk about how Benedict Cumberbatch's version of Alan Turing purposefully played him as a cold, savant like character (probably most akin to Sheldon). When the real Alan Turing has been described by everyone who knew him as immediately warm and kind.
It didn't even make sense within the film version. CumberTuring: hello I have no social skills and am rude to everybody because I don't know any better CumberTuring: btw I wrote a letter to the Prime Minister and persuaded him to give us an unlimited budget and ponies for everybody, no biggie
Also the fact that Benedict Cumberbatch has said in interviews that he doesn’t like it when people say that Alan Turing and Sherlock are autistic because it gives autistic people ‘false hope’ that they can achieve things
Even Sheldon shows warm moments yes throughout the show they make him cold and negates any warm character development and it sucks They also made Penny more of a bitch vs how open and warm she was with the guys not being the ‘mean girl’ troupe Yet in later seasons she more and more mean
Idk if you meant it as this, but that's not an autistic thing. I almost have panic attacks when I see people arguing and used to cry when I saw my sister cry/my parents yell at my sister and I'm completely normal.
@@keiraschneider4769 hi! I'm sure you don't mean any harm, but using "normal" to refer to not-autistic people can be harmful. "neurotypical" is generally considered the politically correct term to use, although it also has its flaws as being autistic, having anxiety, etc., don't make you not "normal", if that makes any sense. That being said, I think tendencies like this are probably more common for autistic people than people in general, but other factors such as anxiety could also certainly contribute to why you experience this. Disclaimer: I'm not autistic, but I have general and social anxiety and possibly mild PTSD
I was in college before it was even mentioned I could be on the spectrum. My doctor said I was “spoiled” and my parents needed to stop sheltering me and start “punishing” my tantrums. Yeah those were meltdowns from over stimulation.
I use to work in a facility with senior autistic clients so it’s nice to see more “ high functioning “ characters but most of the people I cared for were non verbal and deaf and sometimes blind to boot , there are many different ways it can effect a person. In grade school I had classes with autistic classmates I wasn’t ever told what was “ wrong “ with me so I never really improved in school just told me I had a learning disability but not what it was or how to combat it and my social anxiety stopped me from asking for help,Later my foster mom told me I might be on the spectrum but I never got an official diagnosis. Even after seeing doctors they chalked most of my issues up to PTSD from my traumatic childhood saying I was just so abused as a child I couldn’t function emotionally or mentally as a teen now adult.
When I was a little kid my parents used to punish me when I had meltdowns which just made it worse. Once I was diagnosed they realised that wasn’t the right approach and starting supporting me more and it really helped.
As an autistic person who was also a ‘gifted kid’ I thought for most of my life that I needed to use my talents to become a great scientist to be worth something and make up for my faults. Only now in my mid twenties do I realize that’s false and I’m struggling with my self-worth, and the the ‘savant’ type representation isn’t helping.
Same my dude... The low self esteem actually kept me from enjoying and therefore doing the things I am supposedly gifted in (art and science). Because every time I did something that was great, everyone expected it and there was no praise. Everytime I completely bombed something, people were in shock, how could this be, you're better than this, etc. So I started to feel like I couldn't get anything right. At the same time I felt immense pressure to not "let it go to waste". But I started to draw again last year, and I started studying a science at university. After years of being lost and career hopping. I'm doing it for me and myself only. I won't talk about my grades or show my drawings to anyone. My point is: do what makes you happy and f**k expectations from others!
I went through the same thing. I remember doing my talented and gifted class homework in my special Ed class. If you come out as trans too you might be younger me
I can relate :/ but the thing is, my anxiety and depression have gotten in the way of my “gifts” in ways that other people can’t see, so now I try to be kind to myself and consider myself and accept that I’m disabled, not intellectually or physically, but emotionally, due to the loneliness that accompanies my Asperger’s diagnosis. Thinking like this has helped me stop wondering “so which is it, am I a genius or am I useless??” Because it’s neither. Overall, I’m more like just another average person, with some good and some bad :)
one thing i really like about abed is that every time other characters try to “help” him, it always turns out horribly because the other characters are wrong about what he “needs” (and usually they’re wrong about him needing help in the first place). it’s a nice take on the savior complex people have towards autistic people
@@TheMewtata if i remember the episode correctly, i think at the end of the day annie admitted that abed didn't need to change, but he hose to keep her addition of empathy??? also she helped him overcome his insecurities bc they are things everyone goes through more than proving she was right to change him (i havent seen the episode in a while) but overall the other characters don't try and change him, there are only a few episodes kinda like that
Got an ad while watching from ASOS about how “whatever makeup tutorial your watching isn’t as important as this sale”... no I’m educating my self on disabilities. Your sale can get out lol.
WhiteVII en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_model_of_disability (I’m aware that this is a Wikipedia link, but it still makes a good quick explanation on the social model of disability)
WhiteVII I wasn’t specifically calling autism a disability but referring to Jessica’s videos about them in general. Like I said, I am learning. I’m sorry if I offended you.
@WhiteVII as someone who has autism, it is absolutely a disability. Some of it stems from society, yes, but much of it, at least in my experience, really doesn't.
I find it really interesting that the "hollywood autistic person" is often the cis straight white man, when in reality people with autism, such as myself and my friends, often have a much more wide and flexible relationship with gender and sexuality. the running theory that the lack of social "awareness" or understanding stops us from limiting ourselves to the binary boxes, its really interesting
Also, "hollywood autistics" are almost always portrayed as asexual, and while some autistics are asexual, the vast majority are not, and autistic people have the same range of sexualities as NT people. Although, apparently, autistic people are twice as likely to be LBGT as NT people, but that may be because more NT people are closeted.
I am not an autistic person [though it has been proposed many times, I am nuerodivergent] is it perhaps because, not just autistic people, but neurodiverse people as a whole, have to explore themselves much more? Perhaps such is why we apparently tend to be in the LGBT+ community? It is hard for me to try and translate these thoughts into words, because I'm not exactly sure where this idea I just had came from anymore, but I am curious of your thoughts.
that's a pretty convincing theory, given my experience. i'm autistic and bi! I'm AFAB, but I've also experimented with gender through my life! at first I thought the reason i felt weird about my gender was because I'm a trans guy, so I tried that out, didn't fit. so I thought maybe i was genderfluid? but nope, didn't fit either. but when I sat down and decided I was just a "regular girl" that didn't feel right either. then I understood that I just, *don't understand* what the big deal about gender is. a group of online friends I hung out with thought I was a guy for months, and I didn't even notice. (lol) i go by all pronouns now. in everyday conversation I use any gendered terms to refer to myself, not on purpose, it's just the way I talk. I've never understood why gender was this sacred cow to cis people, where this goes with this, that goes with that, stereotypes are inflexible FACT, and you would NEVER want to end up doing or wearing something that made you look like the opposite gender. Nowadays, I understand that people's identities simply mean a lot to them, but society sorta blew the whole deal out of proportion. But I still can't relate to the solid idea of gender, I still don't even call myself non-binary because even THAT doesn't feel right. I don't feel on OR out of a binary. at all times I'm comfortable with being a woman, and I'm also comfortable with being a man, and just a person too. the closest label I've ever really identified with was Gender Non Conforming. I just don't think I'll be able to care about gender as much as it seems everyone else does. I'm just a dude living their life, y'know? tl;dr? lol relatable
A couple of weeks ago I was describing some sensory problems in childhood, like having a panic attack because of ceiling fans or the car going too fast. She said, "that almost sounds like autism....but your social skills are so good!" I replied, "you're seeing 32 years of hard practice interacting with people..."
It took 10 years for my son to be able to handle being around helium balloons without freaking out - but only inside. He also isn't fond of a lot of wind if he's out of doors. After kindergarten it became an issue, before that his ODC was the only real sign of autism. He works tirelessly to assimilate into society and I'm proud of him, but I wish he could understand I love him just the way he is. he tries so hard not to be autistic - he doesn't wanna be. And that kills me, I wish he could be self-aware, you give me hope one day he will accept that neurotypical is not the only way to be! Much love
I can totally relate. I'm sixty and got a diagnosis five years ago. I'd been treated for depression and social phobia all my life as well as other issues and of all my therapists not one considered it until I brought up the subject. Which I only thought of because my sister got diagnosed....in her forties. Both of us have high verbal ability and Mensa level iq (not bragging here, it's just true) so it was never considered.
I haven’t been able to brush my teeth is almost 18 and a half years of my life. I can’t stand it. My grandma used to brush my teeth for me because that was the ONLY way I’d be able to stand it for long enough. If that isn’t an autism sign, I don’t know what is
I’d love to see your take on ADHD in media. So often the portrayals are only hyperactive or “SQUIRREL!” type characters. ADHD can manifest in a lot of other ways. But when a person with ADHD doesn’t act like the stereotype, others may assume they’re faking it (and then proceed to ask if they’ll share their prescription because surely they don’t need it to function day to day, or they can simply pop back to the pharmacy for a refill).
Yeah, it also would be indeed nice to show some people more on ADD side, constantly forgetting everything, not able to focus but not because of hyperactiveness, just because they can't etc.
Yes! That would be amazing. I have ADHD and while I'm so glad it isn't one of those mental challenges that some people have that are portrayed as "psycho killers" (such as the stereotype around schizophrenia) I do not want to be seen as just some energetic kid that is the punchline to every joke
@@magpiem0th YES! That's soo annoying. Like no. Even if you're on hyperactive side more, it doesn't mean you're always energetic, you can even seem out of energy often, but still having some moves that others do not notice. People make it seem like it's always the /healthy/ and /visible/ energetism, also... Which isn't true.
Being an autistic woman, I feel strongly connected with cats. They are heavily misinterpreted and thought of not being loyal or loving by many people. Mostly due to how they express their love. Being lucky to have befriended a handful of cats in my life, and now living with one myself, I know how strong the love towards their humans can be. My cat may not show affection as obvious as dogs may, but she shows me every day in her own way and is anything but cold-hearted. I may not always know how to show or express my emotions, but man, I feel empathy in a way that often is too overwhelming to me.
That's so true. I can't stand that a lot of dogs are (often educated) to be offensive towards other people. I know that my cat has the best mood when you leave him alone and he is sleeping somewhere, and he comes to you and shows you explicit when he wants to be caressed or wants to eat or play. And also sometimes he is teasing me and I am teasing him, but it's perfectly fine.
I saw cats and got excited. Cats helped me explain to people how my brain works and how to interact with me the best. And I always preferred cats over people because I felt it easier to understand cats than people.
That's a great analogy, never thought about it like that. I love cats and dogs and they definitely require different accommodations and behavior to interact with them, but they are both a pleasure to be around :)
That’s awesome! It reminds me of voidpunk sorta, like relating to non-human things more than human ones. I personally connect a lot with the fae, like, I’m vaguely human shaped but a little off, I take everything literally, I don’t understand people all that well
It's ME although I'm nonbinary but cats are absolutely my first and longest lasting special interest. And I identify very closely with them, also probably understand them better than many humans tbh. Multiple partners and friends refer to me as Kitty, and as I'm sitting in front of my computer right now (with a real cat behind my chair) I can see at least eleven different cat-shaped or cat-themed objects without even turning my head; also 50% of my tattoos are of cats.
As someone with autism, I can say I don't mind portrayals of people with autism that aren't like me. I do however have a problem with the same type of portrayal being used over and over and over again. It makes it so everyone sees only 1 type of autism and assumes that everyone on the spectrum is like that.
My biggest problem with many autistic characters in media is the lack of empathy and compassion, like, autistic people are often super duper empathetic and/or compassionate. We just have harder times showing or presenting it but when we do find ways to present it you really see how much we can care. For example, I see someone crying I'm probably going to start crying as well because of the high levels of empathy I experience.
I feel you. (Sorry, I couldn't resist) In high school I often mediated conflicts between my friends, by focussing on the facts and bringing some much needed calm and perspective to bear. When it's about myself however, that all goes out the window, and it's like I'm a 9 year old again.
As an educator, I feel this statement. Prior to us going into lockdown, some of my autistic college students will automatically pick up on the bad day I'm having or if I'm moody.
I love that Abed's special interest is tropes and so he is actually aware of the tropes he himself might inhabit. There's even a scene where he openly mocks and deconstructs the savant trope. And he gets to DEVELOP. He doesn't stay static, but his autism is still always present. He develops new interests, strengthens some of his social skills, gains independence, and a whole bunch of other things while keeping the same traits, quirks and difficulties. He doesn't get and can't be cured, and more to the point he doesn't want to be. But that doesn't stop him from being able to have the life and relationships he wants in his own way and in his own time. He's not a burden, nor is he seen as one. His first character-centric episode actually delves into his feelings about being a strain on his parents as he deliberately burdens his friends to recreate his view of his family life, only for everyone, including him, to realise that being intentionally burdonsome to elicit a reaction is not an accurate reflection of reality. Occasionally hurtful things are said about or to him, and you see him internalise it, reject it or confront it, but you always see his view of it, and it's never any more or less weighty than things that are said about and to other characters. And when he's a dick it's because he's being a dick, not because of his autism, and he gets called out on it and takes accountability for it. He's not considered too innocent to know better or unable to not be a dick because of his disorder. Sometimes he's inappropriate and his friends let him know without placing blame, but sometimes he is just a dick, like all humans are. He's also realistically smart in his fields of interest without being over the top natural genius. It's acquired knowledge not innate, and sometimes he even gets stuff wrong about his special interest and has to wrestle with the unpleasantness of his knowledge being challenged. (I could also talk about some ADHD traits scattered between Annie and Britta but I'll refrain)
In Cooperative Calligraphy when it’s revealed that Abed was tracking Annie, Britta and Shirley’s cycles, it was funny but seemed strangely thoughtful. He really did his best to try to make them have an easier time without making them too uncomfortable.
abed was the first autistic coded tv character i saw myself in and didn’t feel remotely insulted by. plus, i have special interests in TV and other entertainment media so his comparisons just match mine. i wish i’d seen community earlier than i did
@@sidoniegabrielle269 same!! I relate to him not just as an autistic person but as an arab (he is half palestinian and im lebanese.) I also appreciate that they also made him multilingual as opposed to speaking just english cuz "learning difficulties"
I'm an autistic woman, and we almost never see representation for us. Any representation in the media about us is usually socially awkward men, who are often ridiculed and used as the butt of jokes. It's really cringey, tbh.
I haven't really finished watching it but I'm pretty sure Bron (Swedish & Danish criminal series I guess) has quite okay autistic woman character as the main character
I would just like to add the character Entrapta from the renewed She-Ra series, who has been written as and mostly by an autistic person. I've heard a lot of people say she is an accurate representation of someone on the spectrum and though other characters are sometimes annoyed at her, her traits are never portrayed as bad and she is overall just a lovely person. Also the entire show is just filled to the brink with good representation for all kinds of groups (especially poc and lgbt+ people) and I really recommend watching it
I love how Entrapta is written because they clearly show that even though she has a hard time with socialization and she has interests she fixates on, she is one of the most understanding and empathetic characters on the show; that's part of the reason why she doesn't give up on her friends and is able to connect with characters others see as unreachable, like Emily or Hordak. It just flies in the face of the stereotypical "no emotions" thing that so many autistic characters are written with, and I love her and the show so much for it.
This this this this this, I love She-Ra but Entrapta resonated with me so strongly (I've never been tested or put on the spectrum but I'm severely ADHD and have thought about looking into formal diagnosis more than once) I watched that show for the first time just for her - her character in itself is brilliant and she's written beautifully to me, especially her relationship with Hordak (who is also disabled) and Scorpia (who is never really mentioned to be but I interpret her as extremely ND as well). My one issue with She-Ra is how she is treated outside of that, like Catra is obviously a villain with ulterior motives, she uses everybody, I took no issue with that storyline, but the way the other princesses treated her really upset me. I felt like her arc came so close to having meaningful closure in season five but it got pushed to the wayside with all the prime stuff going on. The ableism was never addressed (and they even put all the pressure on HER to do all the apologizing) and it still bugs me idk. Entrapta herself is great though
Entrapta was the first character I truly felt represented me ever. I am autistic, and ADHD/Dyslexic and I never really felt like media representation spoke 100% to me until I watched She-ra. I was definitely more emotionally involved in her arcs than almost all of the other characters.
@@Kvedvulf SAME, it felt so good to not JUST see her struggles but also her triumphs and happiness too, she was critically important to both the horde AND the rebellion, they seriously never would have won without her and she played a huge role. Fans are randomly split on her pairing with Hordak but personally I love them, and the moment they had in season three where they both unpack their like, internalized ableism and found mutual understanding and respect, I legit cried
You know what we need more of? Autistic characters who are artists! Seriously I'm an autistic artist, and I know quite a few people like myself. Not all autistic people's special interest(s) revolve around STEM topics. I'm an animator, cinematographer, writer, and I also draw a lot. I also am really interested in fantasy, rodents and bugs. Ironically, I'm good at math (got A's) but I don't like doing it as I find it boring! TL/DR, interests of autistic people vary just as much as the interests of neurotypical ones, and we don't all like math!
I didn't love everything about this representation, but Chance in The Promises She Keeps (a book) is an artist. His character leans a bit into the 'magical autistic person' trope, but the author kind of magicifies all of her characters and makes all of them feel alien and strange, regardless of neurotype. He draws trees and his art focuses on negative space and only putting down light/white.
I love the idea of Ariel being autistic, I've never heard that perspective but it makes SO much sense. I've also heard a lot of theories on Lilo from Lilo & Stitch being on the spectrum and I've never been able to watch it the same since. It explains a lot about why her behaviors in addition to the trauma she's gone through.
I am not diagnosed with anything related to the spectrum even though I feel like I belong on it, but I definitely related to Ariel as a child and if her characteristics could indeed be viewed as autistic traits but also accepted as normal things, I feel like this could be a big reason why I never felt "different" until later in school. My favorite movie characters always had some similarities to her: being fascinated by how things worked, knowing a lot (or trying to know) about a specific topic, having one or two close friends but being a bit awkward otherwise. To the person who made this observation, I am extremely thankful. I have no idea the best way to go about getting a diagnosis (due to living in the US right now -_- but also I have several other physical issues I am working on treatment for), but this made me feel a bit more... Self aware, less irritated with my own perceived short comings, etc. Not that being different is anything bad, but I'm sure many of us still worry obsessively over being viewed as "annoying" or some other negative word.
I heard someone say once that "If you know an autistic person, you know one autistic person." Edit: It's actually "If you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person." Thanks @Zero Richardson
Thank you me and my cousin both have autism although he's High spectrum and I'm low Spectrum. And it's honestly astounding how many times someone has told either one of us that we're not autistic because we don't do this one particular thing a friend of a friend's friend who's autistic does. I kid you not I've been told that because I'm not good at math I must not be autistic🤦🏼♀️. and he's been told that he talks too much for an autistic. at this point thanksgiving's are just the time where we exchange "interesting" stories.
Absolutely true! My brother, my husband, and my daughter are all on the spectrum- as well as several others I know who either are themselves or have family members who are. And none of them have any more in common than anyone neuro typical would really. Each person is affected differently because they’re all different.
This is a popular saying in autism communities. Although it's usually phrased to mirror the "if you've met one, you've met them all" saying, so it goes, "if you've met one autistic person, then you've met one autistic person."
Same. Like I’m all about spreading awareness of the thing we deal with on a daily basis, but they really need to do it better. And I don’t like people who assume a character is autistic by the way they act when it’s never actually mentioned.
Revisiting this after finding out about Sia’s new movie called “Music”. Disappointing to see how poorly she’s reacting to criticisms on her blatant use of tropes.
"There's already an autistic Muppet" Is a very important phenomenon to me. Some of the best autistic representation in media is accidental. My primary special interest is Transformers, and recently the comics announced there would be a new character introduced as the 'first' autistic Transformer. My immediate reaction was "What??? We already have about 17 autistic Transformers not counting their separate incarnations!" Not to mention they completely forgot that Transmutate is, in fact, confirmed canonically autistic. Whoopsies. (That said, Geomotus, the """first""" autistic Transformer did turn out to be a sweetheart and I would give him a no-contact hug).
Yeah, yeah! Like, I'm positive Izuku Midoriya from My Hero Academia (he's the guy in my pfp) is on the autism spectrum! I could tell from the start that he was a lot like me, and I got really attached to him really quickly!
@@andromeda_va39 I got the same vibes from him! Deku has an obvious special interest in heroes with how he can memorise so much information about every single one, his determination and single-mindedness when it comes to focusing on goals, and the way he was singled out socially when he was younger but was able to make friends when in an environment that compliments his special interest (aka the academy). Being autistic-coded is instant grounds for becoming a comfort character.
A lovely video! As an autistic person, the "autistic savant" trope really upsets me because it sort of suggests that I am *supposed* to have something I'm a savant at, especially if I want to be useful to society. I am an actually autistic human being who needs lots of help with some things and not so much with some others. I am selectively mute, have lots of sensory issues, and will never be able to be fully independant. None of this makes me any less important and useful to society; friends have told me that my unique perspective and way of communicating brings them a lot of joy. I don't need to be a savant to have a whole lot of value and neither does anyone else.
Servitude doesn't determine our wealth! If I'm an inconvenience because of something I can't control, I can't do anything. If I'm dependent, I'm still a human being and my worth isn't based off of that! Remember that you are still worthy of humanity and respect
Rosie Cooper I relate to this so so so much. As an autistic person who struggles with being able to function, I often feel I have nothing to contribute and I don’t have any ‘special gifts’ . I’m mostly just an anxious mess
I had a theraphy focusing on like accepting and learning what autism and adhd is. (Because panic attacks at the word) And well. What they gave as examples of being successful were einstein and this really annoying adhd comedian. To an 11 year old girl, that sucked at maths, bullied and laughed at all her life, and knew einstein didn't have freaking friends. A girl that just wanted to be normal. That theraphy is also part of why therapies. Eventho I've been in them for like 9 years. And just talking about my diagnosis or problems in a professional causes me to just cry and go back to that place. It was kinda traumatic. A year long. An hour a week (I think. Maybe it was half an hour) just crying and like on the verge of full blown panic attack or meltdown. (Still don't really know the difference. Never diagnosed with an anxiety disorder or depression. Eventho been suicidal and like being a depressed 8 year old was the reason my parents fought for a diagnosis given the school really didn't like feel the need to given not disruptive). That trope was like in actual therapy and it was actually traumatic.
As a general rule, I've found that headcanons about minoritized identities are almost always better than canon characters explicitly written to be those minoritized identities, with the only real exception being characters written by minorities and for minorities. I've found some really good portrayals of autism in fanfiction. Many fics don't actually explicitly say in the text that the character is autistic because their diagnosis isn't in any way the focus of the story, but rather leaves that information in the tags and just writes the character as a character who just happens to have autism.
Same with the fanfic thing. I even read a The Untamed fanfic where the lwriter didn't even say the character had ADHD but was written so clearly ADHD that either the writer intended him to be, or is ADHD themselves and doesn't realise , which was amazing but also a little weird not knowing if it was deliberate
I think it's because a lot of intentional portrayals of autism by non-autistic writers seem to go off a checklist of behaviors, and more often than not those symptom lists are written from an allistic point of view. Whereas good writers think of characterization in terms of the character's internal experiences and motivations, which allows for both more realistic and more compassionate writing. There's a lot of characters out there who could easily be diagnosed with something even though the author never intended to write a disorder, because what do you know, thinking about how your character thinks makes for a more realistically written person.
That seems to be the case and I find it really frustrating haha. I think Legosi from Beastars is literally the perfect representation of both the struggles and strengths I have, but it’s non-cannon. Still if I had to point to one character as a representation of my different way of thinking and experiencing the world I would point there.
This! It was never intended but Aziraphale from good omens is absolutely autistic in my eyes and its a shame it's not canon but a lot of fan creations portray him that way and i think its really sweet. It's taught me alot about myself.
I hope I can do this well, because in a book I'm working on, every major character has some sort of generally poorly represented or under-represented neurodivergency, and while I have experience with about half of them myself, I'm always a little worried I'm going to fuck something up in the ones I don't have experience with, like bipolar, shizoaffective, PTSD, dyslexia, tourettes, BPD, synesthesia, OCD, OCPD, etc. etc. etc. I just wish I knew people that have these things so I can check in with them to get an idea of what it's like. Some of the ones I'm including that I'm more confident in being able to portray properly are autism, anxiety, depression, cPTSD, dyspraxia, traumagenic plurality, and endogenic plurality, mostly because I have actual experience with them.
One thing about our perceived lack of empathy, where we are seen as "cold and calculating" is that, at least in my smal autistic circle, we tend to focus on "problem solving", rather than being a "feelings mirror". Being a "feelings mirror" is something I CAN be, but it's not something I do automatically, and I have to actively fight slipping back into "problem solving"-mode. What I mean by this is, when, say, my boyfriend comes to me and vents frustration about something, I don't try to validate and comfort feelings, because, I don't want my boyfriend to be frustrated and hurt, so I try to figure out a way to get him out of that situation, because I want very much for my boyfriend to be happy. Thing is, when I'm processing a complex situation looking for solutions, I don't have the capacity to ALSO be emoteful myself (emoting is kinda hard tbh), so, when my brain runs into "missing information to assess situation" things, i ask a question, and once I have enough information to have a candidate idea for I present it. From the outside, this looks like my boyfriend came to me and said something very emotionally charged, and I just … started asking questions with not much emoting, and then suggest a course of action. And this is seen as "cold and uncaring", while, internally, I'm DESPRERATELY trying to help someone I love, I just... can't stand to see them hurting, so I drop anything and everything I'm doing to try and help them out, in the way I feel is the most effective way of helping out. I've gotten so engrossed in things like this I've missed half a workday, I've gotten so engrossed in things like these I miss my stop on trains and have to get off and go back the other way for a few stops. This takes over my mind completely. But it doesn't look like it, because neurotypical people, when something takes over their mind completely, they emote something, hard. But when I get completely engrossed, I stop emoting altogether. We're getting better at this, me and my boyfriend. He can tell me, explicitly, "I'm not looking for problem solving" and then I know, and I've been able to at least mark situations as something potentially being a "I just need to vent" situation, and ask whether he wants me to problem solve or be a feels mirror.
Oh gosh. I'm the exact same way. My natural inclination is to try and find a solution. And I have to force myself to not do that and just let a friend vent. I feel like I should be trying to help. And intellectually I know that I am helping just by giving them a place to get their feelings out, but it doesn't feel like it.
I feel the exact the exact the same way about my relationships between my family and friends. I do this with my best friend quite often because it helps her process what she's going through in life but also helps me understand the situation at hand. With my family, on the other hand, I try to diffuse tension with witty banter and humor and within minutes everyone is either laughing or smiling because they feel so much better. I've only had one romantic relationship in the past, and that's the way I felt when trying to get my ex to calm down and think things through rather than get all worked up over nothing. While at the same time trying to help him feel better about what was bothering him at the time. I'm just glad that you and you're boyfriend are working things out and I hope the two of you stay for many years to come 😊👍.
This. This is what should be shown in media more often. How Autistic people are often more helpful and in tuned with what loved ones go through. I see this with friends and students often.❤
Oh my god, I felt like crying reading this. I struggle with this so much, to a horrible extent it’s frustrating. This happens often to me (I’m not diagnosed with ASD but I’ve been researching extensively on autism and think I may be autistic) and it makes it difficult for me to be there for my friends during difficult situations.
Yeah I may or may not be neurotypical (thinking of checking with a doctor finally this year at age 27), but I've certainly learned over time that sometimes I need to be a feelings mirror and sometimes not. And sometimes no matter what I do my friends will still go through problems. But even today, after learning how to respond different ways, I still don't instinctively know what response someone wants or needs. As a side note, hasn't there been some research showing that men tend to do the problem solving approach vs. being a feelings mirror (I like your terminology)? Or maybe that was just some sensational nonsense I had heard.
also!! while abed is presented as a little bit cold, he clearly cares SO much about his friends and family (especially troy) and shows it fairly often! plus, he's not white or obsessed with a STEM thing, which is cool :)
Abed’s one of my favourite characters of all time and I don’t think I’ve ever related more to anyone on screen! Of course, not everyone on the spectrum will identify with him but I certainly did :)
Plus while they do show him struggling with certain things he is largely in complete control of himself and his own space. He isn't portrayed as a burden or incapable and is just as involved as everyone else with the hijinks and is usually at the center of it. While his friends do call him out if he is rude or goes to far he isn't othered at all by them and is an essential and never questioned part of their friendship group.
things I love about Abed include but are not limited to: he’s not shown as apathetic or a jerk, he has a lot of emotions and cares deeply for his friends, the way he shows it is just different than the way most people would show it. He’s never depicted as a burden, he’s a part of the group like all the others. He has no interest in being normal and likes himself the way he is. He’s interested in romantic and sexual pursuits, which is something I feel like I barely see, especially with the whole manchild trope. He’s a multidimensional character with fears and wants and a sense of humor just like everyone else, who is not inferior to anyone else. He’s valued by his friends, and whenever characters try to baby him, the joke is on them for assuming he needs it. Abed was the reason I went to talk to a doctor about autism, actually, because his character clicked for me in a way no other character had. I never considered that I could be autistic, since all the portrayals I had seen until then showed autistic people as completely heartless. Representation matters. I’ll have to check out the other shows in the good category. This was a great video, and you’ve earned yourself another subscriber!
i remember watching the show as it aired and relating so much to Abed in a way i hadn't related to many other fictional characters before. in addition to the characteristics you've mentioned, i also loved that he would always view the world through the perspective of what he saw in movies and tv. this is something that i do myself, one of the strongest reasons i related to him, and it shows a framework for communicating with him. there are definitely times where the other characters realize they need to translate what they're trying to say to Abed through the pop culture filter to get the message across to him. it's not just something that makes him weird or different, his friends actually embrace and use Abed's methods of communicating. sure, sometimes they get annoyed by it but it felt to me like how you can get annoyed by anything your friends do lol part of the whole concept of the show is that each of the main characters is a bit weird in their own ways, they all have parts of their personality that hold them back in certain situations and cause them to clash with others from time to time. in the end, they all accept each other... well maybe with the exception of Pierce but that's a different topic :P
As an autistic woman, I totally agree. Another aspect I love is how he uses pop culture, tropes and such to understand the world around him. One of my special interests is media (like movies, anime, tv shows, etc) and analysis about those subjects, so I tend to do the same thing as well. Abed doing that was very relatable.
Agreed! I've just finished season 1 of Community, and in episode (3?) of season 1, we're clearly shown that although he may lack obvious empathy, he is willing to sit in a room for 27 hours and miss out on a special interest activity just because a friend asked him to.
"Unless you're ace" Since that's a spectrum too, there may be ace people who do feel rejection pain through edietic memory. It's just not _sexual_ rejection, it's friendship rejection, or romantic rejection. Thanks for the representation in your video though! :)
I both felt seen and not by that xD Like, I can form romantic attachments to people, and when I do they might never be sexual. Rejections always hurts tho.
@@MiotaLee I also felt seen/not seen by that comment, because the situation she provided was a romantic one. As a person who is aromantic but not asexual, the comment was misguided but appreciated.
@Miro Kai i think she just mixed up aro and ace bc a lot of people do that. If she hadn't mixed it up it pretty much would have been accurate. I think she just wanted to show that she remembers not evryone will relate to that scenario, altho tbh its not like it will only be aro people anyways, some ppl might just not care bout rejections.
I was diagnosed at 16, and was only diagnosed because I was seeing an psychiatrist who happened to have autism and she picked up on things that no one has ever. Did tests and everything, and was formally diagnosed. No one ever suspected it, every teacher and adult just thought I was a ‘bright young lady’ and ‘obsessed with shows and characters like every teen girl’
I'm autistic, and I certainly don't have a lack of empathy, quite the opposite, at times empathy is just too hard to handle, so I myself sometimes have to close myself off, because it'd be hard to handle all the incoming feelings.
Wow, similar to mine, i have empathy to a certain extent. Extreme empathy to some people yet to some i have a lack of empthy ...let alome sympathy. And this often causes me frustration cuz i feel somethijngbis missing and wrong with me ...
I loved Entrapta in She-Ra because her character was both autistic and extremely emphatic, even towards the head villain of the show for the first 4 seasons. As an Aspie myself, she’s top tier representation.
I wish, I have little to no empathy at all. I’ve lost so many friends over it because I’m a bit of a dick when it comes to supporting them. Although my best friend is autistic and is over empathetic! We balance eachother out (:
also! A new character that probably wasn't even out at the time of making this video is Harlan from season 2 of The Umbrella Academy. He shows many traits such as, being non-verbal, special interests, and is shown having a meltdown during one episode. I'd also like to mention that, although important to the plot, he is not a main character, which is a refreshing change actually. It is never explicitly stated that he has autism, however, this is logical as this part of the show is set in the 1960's so it's unlikely his parents or doctors are even aware of the condition. Though Ellen Page's character, Vanya, at one point, in reference to going to the future, "He'll be okay, they have a name for people like him there." which I think is enough explanation, it would seem out of place otherwise. I highly recommend the show as it also tackles the effects of childhood neglect, toxic relationships, among other things! Edit: It's basically confirmed he is autistic, just never stated
After 10 minutes of watching Harlan i felt i could understand what he was doing and why. It was really nice to see a "human" representation of autism, stimming and all.
i'm not autistic but i connected with harlan almost immediately due to having depression and anxiety (i get the meltdowns and heightened anxiety and such) it was nice to have a neurodivergent character that wasn't labeled as crazy or weird
i just wrote a comment about this but i think it's so important to have autistic (or autistic-coded) characters shown throughout history! people think autism is a brand-new thing that never existed prior to the last few decades, which can fuel some harmful rhetoric. it's important to show that that's not the case!
Thank you for the opportunity to be in this video Jessica. This is an amazing piece of work, so many people are going to learn from this. I am proud to be a part of it:D Regarding dyspraxia (I see this mentioned in comments), I got diagnosed age two and a half with autism. But at aged 15, an Ed psych assessment said that my primary diagnosis should be dyspraxia. So to pick up on the point below there are so many crossovers between these two conditions. For me, I have huge problems with processing (0.01 mental processing speed), so even trying to record for this video, it took a long time as I can't retain words in my mind that I want to say out loud. I've always bee very proud of my autism actually, it's made life different but in a good way:D All the best, MiffedLuke/MiffedCrew
That sucks not being able to retain words long enough to order and say them. I've had that problems only under certain circumstances (I'm autistic but don't normally have that problem) and it was very frustrating.
@@jessicaoutofthecloset Writing you this way because it's quite important, the "Theory of Mind" hypothesis actually describes how autistic people are supposedly unable to understand that other people have their own feelings, opinions,viewpoints and such, not "just" that they may have difficulty with Neurotypical expressions, something that's both extremely ableist and extremely inaccurate. It mostly resulted from using ableist presumption as extreme as...well, most people "studying" autism, taking a very tiny handful of children, most of who had difficulties understanding speech, and doing the Sally-Ann test. Two dolls are in a room, both have boxes in front of them, one (Sally) has a marble which she puts in the box before leaving the room, the other (Ann) then takes the marble and puts it in her box. The question is, where will Sally first look for the marble (or EXPECT the marble to be, depending on the phrasing, which already brings up problems). Now, this both fails to account for not really understanding the instructions, not being able to answer well or, something that has at least anecdotal evidence, thinking outside of the scope the researchers want or expect children to think it (ie: Considerign that Sally may have been testing Ann to see if she'd do such a thing, that she may have asked Ann to take the marble which, as no other communication was shown, may be a okay assumption...). psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2019-75285-001.html
A character I personally headcanon as autistic is Newt Scamander from the Fantastic Beast movies. He has an extremely strong interest in animals, and holds a preference for their company over other humans, bluntness in conversation, high empathy with difficulty expressing emotions to others, shyness, mannerisms/behaviour which is generally considered weird, etc. I’ve always highly related to him, and have been curious if any other autistic people related to him too, definitely made me seen far more then most other depictions. :)
“Self diagnosing is often needed and valid for people in a variety of different marginalized communities who don’t have access to expensive healthcare or suffer from gate-keeping” 👏🏻 thank you for saying this!!! I wish I’d known this years ago! And I hope more people here it from here on out 💛
I agree, it has benefits on the process of identifying your own struggles and traits and to know that you are not the only one and get rid of that inner shame... in the beginning. However, it can be dangerous if that doesn’t lead to a professional diagnosis later, or if it leads someone to self medicate without consulting someone else knowledgeable on the topic. There can be something else happening
self diagnosis is often needed? im sorry but this is not true, you can't diagnose yourself if you aren't a doctor, sure you can think maybe i have this but making a diagnosis? without fundamental studies? and how will you know how to do the treatment?sounds silly to me. I'm sorry, i know many people don't have accessibility and is injustice , but for me, making self diagnosis is irresponsable because you don't have the experience nor the knowledge. Sorry if this sound awful but i think thi is a bad idea is my opinion so don't take it seriously
Mugiwarafan I respect your opinion, and I’m glad that you never encountered a disease that has no treatment. if you’re interested a really good resource is the documentary UNREST on Netflix
@@mugiwarafan2687 You can't diagnose yourself like to self medicate or something, but you can suspect something is wrong and then go to the doctor. It would be perfect if schools or jobs helped reporting things, but we know that doesn't happen often.
@@mugiwarafan2687 While I agree that you can't officially diagnose yourself with anything, I do think that a sort of "self-diagnosis" has a place. Like I once attempted to get tested for autism and was shot down by my doctor...because I can talk. And make eye contact. There aren't exactly a whole bunch of doctors in my area, so I kinda just gave up and tell people I'm probably autistic. It helps me explain to others why I struggle with certain things and find coping mechanisms that help me.
This was so refreshing! I'm autistic and was undiagnosed for so long because, in part, I'm highly empathetic and I don't have any "specific" interests. The commonplace view of autism being a "boy genius who is blunt and can't communicate" is so damaging. I really felt like a part of me was fully seen and acknowledged with this video, thank you. 😊
@@alexe7012 Thank you, and I fully agree! For so long in some ways its been that you had to be a "certain type of autistic" to be acknowledged as such, which is also so damaging. It's great to see different parts of the spectrum be included in a video like this. 👍🏻
Me too. I had to fight for a diagnosis because I don't have an obsession with one specific topic and because I use and understand sarcasm. People (even psychiatrists!) need to understand that you can be autistic without ticking every single box on the list.
@@mistyminnie5922 Exactly. A few times I've been told I don't "come across as autistic", which is so insulting, and what they actually mean is "I don't fit their limited understanding of autism". Hopefully that's beginning to change with resources/discussions like this video! (PS, hope you were able to get your diagnosis!)
The fifth type of autistic character: the literally inhuman... It sure is cool the way you gave that (android/alien/faerie etc.) basically all the traits of autism, and then made their whole subplot focus on the fear that they'll never understand what it's like to feel emotions, or love, or be truly human...
I think there are good examples of representation even in this stereotype, for example Data from TNG fits into this and is an excellent well rounded character that breaks the “lack of empathy” stereotype and has multiple facets to his characterization. I’m only halfway through the video so idk if he is brought up
@@jasongretencord3326 @The Dire Tarrasque yes, sorry, should have been clearer. I mean, I think it is genuinely cool to explore the idea of empathy and whether it's innate or learnt (as an autistic person who has conciously contructed their moral rules), but i was being sarcastic in the original comment because i don't think the attitude most writers use to approach the topic is cool
I really quickly want to thank whoever wrote the captions (whether it was Jessica herself or someone else) for adding the exclamation point in parentheses whenever sarcasm is used. As someone who is autistic myself and honestly struggles with sarcasm in general, the little things go a long way. It was really helpful, and I just wanted to say thank you!!
Same, I'm very bad at sarcasm most of the time, luckily (or unluckily) my family is very sarcasm driven, so I've sorta picked up on the "tone" but if you mix up that tone AT ALL, I lose the sarcasm immediately
completely unrelated to your comment, but yayyy another plural system in the wild!! (or at least that's what I assume based on your username) love when we randomly see systems in random non-plural spaces
The trope that we are unfeeling is awful. When there was a little boy who was murdered in my town, I was depressed, and cried for weeks. That Grey's Anatomy take was a really bad one.
Yeah, if anything, my feelings of empathy can be overwhelming. If I make somebody feel bad, even in a minor way, that haunts me for a very long time. It's hard to handle all the suffering and death in the news. 9/11 absolutely broke me.
Yes, that trope is so harmful and never made sense to me. I'm autistic, but extremely empathetic. I grew up around a lot of animals and my family had cows. I came across a video of a slaughter house when I was 9 and immediately refused to eat meat ever again. I just could not imagine the suffering the poor creatures in that video felt and could not bear to be apart of it. My grandfather still is in the cattle business today and we're from very rural WV, hunting and fishing is almost a religion here. My family thought it was a phase, even tried to cook non-vegetarian food for a couple days, but I have been vegetarian for 14 years now and vegan for 3. A few years back a woman my mom knew lost her young daughter. The little girl walked outside while her mom thought she was taking a nap, fell in the pool, and drowned. I still cry about it to this day if I think about it. I cannot begin to imagine how it felt to be in that woman's shoes in the moment she found her daughter like that. I feel most of the autistic people I know, including myself, tend to be empathic, almost to a traumatising degree in some cases. My guess is that maybe it's a result of spending my entire life mentally putting myself in others shoes so I could try to better understand their emotions, figures of speech, sarcasm ect.
Exactly I despise that trope. If anything I'd say I'm hypersensitive and struggle with overwhelming feelings. The idea I've upset or hurt someone will haunt me for ages and creates alot of anxiety I have to deal with on every interaction I have
I am actually of the Autistics that likes Atypical. The reason I liked it so much was because I actually did see some of me represented in him. There are A LOT of things the show gets wrong, but I did really enjoy it. Although admittedly my initial joy was that he was obsessed with penguins. Something I spent much of my childhood obsessed with. The fact that it WASN'T trains made me so damn happy. Also the fact that him trying to date was so awkward, because it was for me. I said so many cringey things that I truly thought were appropriate to say because I was immulating. The 2 big things I liked though are actually around his looking for a girlfriend.... and his mom. The reason I liked this so much was because it showed that Autistics CAN and DO have sex and desire it. So much online makes it seem like Autistics will never be in a relationship and that we don't desire sex. The fact that he is also so empathetic a lot of the time made me happy. So many Autistics are represented as emotionless. Now the mom... Whoa.... she was.... infuriating. BUT she has a great impact on the show in that this...mom...exists... The moms that make their entire identity wrapped around their Autistic or disabled child. To the point that they won't let that child live. While her character is easily hateable for me (I don't know if she ever redeemed herself in season 2 as I never got the chance to watch it). Having her character was a new take on how parents are shown on tv. She wasn't the parent who was shown as the saint for being the parent of an Autistic kid. She was the parent who gets so damn wrapped up in her kid she won't let them live their life. She tries to prevent him from leaving his comfort zone which is what a sadly large number of "Autism Moms" do. She tries to keep him in this little box that SHE made for him and loses her damn mind when he doesn't stay in it. It was just really refreshing for me to see a show with an Autistic that didn't make the parents out to be the patron saint's rolled up into 2 people as they are obviously angels for dealing with their horrible burden of a child. The dad was actually my favorite character in season 1 because when he finds a way to meaningfully connect with Sam, he does and doesn't try to box him in. I will not say the show is perfect. There are quite a few problematic moments in the show, however there are a fair few things I enjoyed about it and it's one of the few shows where I saw the slimmest of representations of myself in media.
i am not autistic, but watching the show i was bothered by how his girlfriend treats him, kind of like a token if that makes sense? like she was proud of herself for having an autistic s/o. however, i do appreciate the fact that he was with someone who understood what autism was and how it worked and didn’t break up with him when his autism became ‘inconvenient’ for her. i completely agree that the mother seemed to be written as a bad character on purpose
agree, im an autistic girl, but i saw alot of both myself and my brother in Sam and especially his relationships with the people around him. The show isn't perfect, but it was good, and I liked the representation that showed how there are both positives and negatives to being autistic in a NT society, but at the end of the day, are still people who want people things.
I don’t like Big Bang Theory. It made me insecure in how i come across to others i don’t want to be hated or laught at for not getting the social cues. not to mention i find the show to be pretty sexist and racist.
Conversely, I enjoyed the show and Sheldon's character. He portrayed symptoms that are shared with other disorders and allowed me to laugh at some of my own issues as well as remind me on occasion of issues I need to work on a bit.
It makes me so so happy to watch a non-autistic person show so much acceptance, respect and love towards the autistic community in this video :))) thank you.
For anyone wanting to learn more about expression of autism in women/gender diverse people, I really recommend watching Hannah Gadsby's 'Nanette' and 'Douglas', they are also wildly successful stand up comedies, and awfully life changing, so you would be doing yourself a disservice to not watch them!
Empathy isn’t just a single thing. It’s a combination. There’s cognitive empathy - knowing how to interpret people’s words or expressions, knowing what they are thinking and how they will react socially. Then there’s affective empathy - feeling along with the people you care about, being happy when they’re happy or sad when they’re sad, and hating the idea of them suffering. Many autistic people have good affective empathy, but struggle with cognitive empathy. My autistic husband, for instance, cares more deeply about other people’s well-being than most neurotypical people I know, but has trouble getting into other people’s headspaces and understanding what they are thinking or feeling and why. It’s actually kind of the opposite of the cold and uncaring stereotype.
That's a really interesting point. I've just been diagnosed with ASD, aged 16, and I flew under the radar so much because I'm a good student and show affective empathy. In honesty, I didn't even know there were different types of empathy. And because the empathy confusion is the main reason I was never picked up, I think it's important I educate myself more on it. Thanks for explaining it a little!
Oh, my. This... This struck me, ngl. I've known I belong to the ASD community for a year now, and I was so confused. My therapist said I was empathic, my sister, classmates and other peers think I'm "heartless", because I just can't understand. I console them, I try to help, but I just can't understand why they feel like that... And, this makes so much sense. Woah. I had seriously been doubting myself from even being a good person, but this is making me reconsider. Woah. Thank you!!!!
I have trouble with cognitive empathy. I’m told that I’m very empathetic/sympathetic and warm as the sun but I sometimes have trouble interpreting others emotions. I will often ask someone exactly how they are feeling. I’m very maternal in that way.
That's it! I always get so frustrated when people tell me that people with autism don't feel empathy, because I feel lots of empathy! I just don't know how to deal with it appropriately. I can sense people's emotions just fine, I just have a harder time understanding where it comes from and how to respond.
Though everyone is different, when people are like "oh austic people are really smart." And then you have me who feels invalid because I'm not the brightest crayon.
My mom literally thought i wasn't autistic for my whole life because I "was only different and incapable of connection because I was smarter than the other kids." Nevermind all the fucking other signs lol. Recently diagnosed officially and damn it feels good.
"That was sarcasm." - I'm autistic and this put a huge smile on my face. Gosh, I'd love for people to turn to me and say "that was sarcasm" more often in real life! My spouse does, thankfully!
I don't have official diagnosis still, because i am "too normal to be autistic" in Russia. I am "just" introverted, socially awkward person with sensory system issues, anxiety and special interests. "Autism? It's for children, you are too old to have it, besides you talk to me just fine!"
Omg, friends son is neurotypical because he can read a book (??!) I was not depressed because I read a newspaper regularly (I didnt, never have, couldnt but thats not the point) Oh, and no chronic fatigue, had I considered I was just lazy? Medical professionals are flipping terrifying. I truly recommend, if you want a diagnosis, exhibiting the specific traits in an interview/appointment whatever and sticking to your goal, good luck!
Bloody same, just in America... Being AFAB doesn't help... Had a former teacher flat tell me matter-of-factly "oh, you're autistic too" (20~ years too late) after handling my diagnosed brother, and you know having learned girls can have it too...
I had a similar case when I was kid, because girls on the spectrum weren't even heard of back then. Instead I was misdiagnosed with non-verbal learning. Trouble is the spectrum covers mainly traits in men, as Hans Asperger only studied boys.
Same. 100% Same. Even when I pour my heart out on the internet, this is what I get: "oh, you just have social anxiety!" except I don't have social anxiety * at all* when I 100% know what Is ging to be said and done and can prepare for it (example: I don't have any problem whatsover having a standardized conversation asking for help in a shop) with autism, I pretty much relate with 90% of it. But I am just an introverted girl with 'random' social anxiety and awkwardness who is always bothered by sound and wnats to learn how to make corsets.
This is why I have a hard time believing basically any statistics about autistic people. Those statistics are missing a good deal, possibly even a majority of actual autistic people because of the ridiculous gatekeeping. I wasn’t diagnosed as a kid because I had good grades and friends, I suppose I wasn’t suffering enough for the liking of the experts. It’s been a massive struggle to find one place in my state that will diagnose an adult. It’s awful but it’s hopefully breaking down, and those terrible stats can’t be used to justify cure movements or stripping us of agency anymore.
As a woman who has autism a lot of loud souds, or too many noises while trying to work or do something is extremely distracting and I often forget what I was doing and if it was important people oftentimes get very angry.
The main room in my office has two radios working on different sides of the room, each with a different station on. Lucky I only rarely have to go in there. I don't know if I have autism, but if anything could give me a meltdown it would be that. I don't understand how a dozen people can stand it eight hours each day.
The tweet from Ali at home was so intensely validating I cried. The Little Mermaid was my favourite movie when I was 4 and I remember pretending to have an imaginary friend because I heard it was normal to have one and I desperately wanted to be like other kids. I can't easily imagine or see things in my head, that's why I could only pretend, and I named her Ariel.
This is so relatable. I too pretended to have an imaginary friend to mimic what I thought other kids were like. Her name was Suzy and she always let me win at board games.
I did the same thing too! I had a lot of imaginary animals, but I just didn’t see the appeal of imaginary friends. I saw lots of kids in media have them so I thought I would try it lol.
Lol, I actually had an imaginary friend for the opposite reasons, no one else I knew had one and I had(and have)trouble befriending others, so I just made one. To be fair, I daydream a lot and she was also part of one of my stories sooo that may have played a part
I was watching a Chinese drama the other day and it was introduced that the main love interest had autism. He was a man, but it was a short, good backstory of the realistic struggles he has growing up and went straight back to him. They didn't make it his whole character or obvious at all and the only sign of it was that he loved music and occasionally didn't understand some things. Overall he was just a main character with an awesome personality who happened to have autism, and I loved the way the writers made it so normal, it was a breath of fresh air.
How media can be harmful: about 4 years before I myself was diagnosed with autism, a friend was discussing with me the possibility that she was autistic and I said that that couldn't be because autistic people are bad at socialising and she had a lot of friends so it couldn't be that.... Yeah let's just say that I still hate myself for being like that back then and really happy that I've since grown as a person.
Oh god, I remember a similar experience I had. I was telling my dad about how my psychologist had mentioned that I had possible signs of ADD or ADHD and dad just said "well, you're not stupid, and you're great in school" as a reason for why that diagnosis would not fit me. Just, fuck...
@@haichie1341 Literally JUST had that conversation with my dad lmao, psychiatrist said a high possibility of ADHD and Asbergers and my dad argued that that's their go to diagnosis for everything and that I couldn't possibly be those since I get As in school.
Reminds me of the time I said to someone that I’m an introvert with social anxiety and they said that I’m not because I was able to have a conversation with them. Like thanks I already have so much self doubt, why don’t you random classmate diagnose me.
i had exactly the same thing, the girl that told me has adhd and she told me that fixing this vitamin deficiency would cure her adhd????? and when i told her that if it does she got a misdiagnosis she said that i dont know anything about adhd and that its just "not being able to concentrate and being hyper" ??????????
My uncle is a doctor and literary read the papers and conclusions from my doctors and still claimed that I did not have problems with my working memory.
One of my trans friends who is autistic is participating in a research project that is looking into the correlation between autism and being transgender. There is a yet un-researched correlation between the two with a large number of transgender people being on the spectrum. I don't know very much about it but I think it is really cool that it is something that is being looked into especially as representation of autistic people is cisgender, straight, white people. Edit: I also feel extremely validated by "unless you're ace, then nicely swerved"
I've found that Autistic people have a high rate of being LGBTQIA+ in general. My theory is that since we have to self-examine and question ourselves and our perceptions so much, we have a higher rate of realising that we aren't cis/het, shrugging in acceptance, and research-binging to figure out how to incorporate this new information. For myself, I'm Panromantic Asexual. I figured out fairly early that gender wasn't necessarily a factor in who I was attracted to, and that I was impatient and uninterested in my peers' seeming obsession with sex. My only real requirement is shared interest and personal compatibility, and preferably also Ace, or at least Poly and ok with sex being a thing that will never happen involving me.
I've thought that it may be because autistic people may not particularly understand why social norms like gender roles/expressing the "correct" ones according to your assigned gender is so important to everyone else and simply live freely and express themselves however they like. That especially explains it for me when nonbinary people are autistic. Just my perspective, sorry if I misunderstood anything about autism in this comment.
I'm certain that researchers will find some correlation. Sarah Hendricks, who's a stand-up comedian, and also on the spectrum, explains how she personally relates to that theory - her video is long but often very funny! ruclips.net/video/diE7f6CKj6c/видео.html. Tony Atwood, a leading expert in ASD, also sees a correlation: ruclips.net/video/LuZFThlOiJI/видео.html. Hope that research project your friend participates in gets the publicity it deserves.
Watching Umbrella Academy season 2, I was so scared that Harlan was going to be "cured" after his connection with Vanya, and then I would have to hate it.
Me too! I was watching with my mom, and when Vanya saved him from her powers, I said something like "if he starts talking now I'm going to riot." And my mom didn't get it at all but it meant a lot that they didn't go there.
On an unrelated note, it seems like the writers or whoever gave Elliot Page an awesome place to explore transitioning without actually coming out yet. Super interesting to me now that he has come out.
@@tanner1548 the creator of the show (and the comics it was based on), Gerard Way, has been a gnc icon for decades. Not surprised if they had something to do with it.
Agreed! And as someone who is def ace and probably aro this still bounced for me. I've definitely still pursued romantic relationships because life is confusing and also Societal Expectations. Rejection is still embarrassing even if you were pursuing a thing that you wouldn't actually want long term. Although it seems a lot of ace folks in comments appreciated the shout out and lord knows I enjoy when people acknowledge we exist.
@@angelal8829 I agree it's great to have asexuality mentioned, goodness knows we need the visibility! I love that Jessica is so inclusive, eg featuring us in her video about what not to say to an LGBTQ+ person (so good, definitely recommend!). But at the same time the comment reinforces a common misconception, and also misses out on the chance to give some love and visibility to aro peeps too!
As someone who's autistic, I find meaning in some of the X-Men films. They're not specifically about autism, but are an allegory for those who experience discrimination. I see that as applying to those with disabilities and chronic illnesses. Change the line from X-Men First Class from "Mutant and proud" to "Autistic and proud".
A close friend of my who is autistic said something similar of X-Men 2, the scene were Iceman tells his parents about being a mutant. The part about being gifted, having very high IQ and her special interest having helped her developed extrodinary skills in certains fields due to spending so much time at them. And then the part about Iceman's mum telling him not to be a mutant. My friends mum told her she had to train away her autism...
I really love mutant as an allegory for disability, not only because is manages to be fun for disabled people without trying to say what "inspirations" we are, but also because it actually makes a specific parts of x men storylines work better and make sense. Such as when a "cure" is presented. When a writer sets it as an allegory for a different group it puts the cure debate in a n awkward position where they have essentially let go of their life line and have to tread water in actually fully exploring there concepts AND/OR keeping it from sending a bad message through their current analogy. (IE: If your doing the LGBTQ+ angle, then you really can't say that a "cure" would be a good thing for anyone, and it also implies that some LGBTQ+ people are inherently dangerous). But if it's an analogy for disability suddenly you can actually safely make a point again. Because then you can have the framework of real world issues of how diffrent disabilities are but how there all just stuck together into one category. Think Depression compared to Autism. Now I'm sure there wouldn't still be issues and challenges. Comparing anything in our world to humans sometimes getting superpowers is super difficult. (Honestly some of my favorite media are obes that just do not make it an allegory and just explore what would happen.) But I do REALLY love it as a lense and I wish an author or director would use it.
Tip for my other ASD people out there: when those weird neurotypicals are trying to stare into your eyeballs like creeps (I mean seriously whyyy; my eyes aren't ears, I don't need them to listen to you) stare at their nose!
I have ADD. Absolutely hate looking in people's eyes when talking... I tend to look at foreheads cos other facial features just have too much going on so I get tend to get distracted looking anywhere else on someone's face.
@@sarahportelli93 Understandable. Sometimes I can't do the nose trick just because I can still see they're eyes in my peripheral which is enough to be uncomfortable.
@@hollyblyth6285 Eyebrows for me are just a bit too close to eyes because people will sometimes just stand up a bit straighter, but do what makes you feel comfortable :)
I would love an episode on ADHD! I grew up with a high-functioning autistic little brother and other neurotypical siblings. Growing up I was told my brother and I were very similar. I had lots of social anxiety, emotional dysregulation and was a pretty shy and sad little girl. It's only been this year, at 29 that I've been diagnosed with ADHD and it was a light bulb. I had no idea that adhd affected EVERYTHING not just attention. I was never hyperactive and saw no representation for me as a shy female. I went through my life always feeling like something was wrong with me and was misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression, ptsd and BPD at several points through my life until finally coming to adhd after self diagnosing and finally having some peace in my life and hope for the future
Entrapta from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is a really good representation. She definitely falls under the “ambiguous” category but I saw SO much of myself and other autistic people in her character. There was so much good representation in SPOP. I highly recommend it
Yes! It definitely has some problems, mainly that it does not clearly enough points out that the ableism Entrapta faces by the Princesses is bad (seems like a no-brainer but I saw so many neurotypicals victim blame her) and that she is a villain, but other than that its so detailed and on point. Also her romance with Hordak (another disabled person). I literally never saw a romance between two disabled character, *and* then there are also talking about how they are othered by their society and about their internalized ableism and help each other out of it ("Imperfection is beautiful"). I felt so seen. And sadly, how much she wishes to just fit in and how nearly everybody around her mistreats her was so realistic too
Thank you so much for making this video! As an autistic person that means a lot to me. I wanted to share an anecdote about Sheldon and why I don't like this representation, and his lack of diagnosis plays a role into that: Often when I've showed autistic traits, expressing my need for routine and how I don't like change, my parents, who like The Big Bang Theory, have told me I was just acting like Sheldon. Which is extremely frustrating because I act this way because I'm autistic, and I feel like if he was explicitly autistic people would understand better that it's not exclusive to him but these traits are autistic traits. But also they presented me "acting like Sheldon" as me being difficult, exaggerating, annoying, because that's also how Sheldon is portrayed, which is something I really don't like about this portrayal. It frames autistic traits as a burden for people around us, as being annoying or selfish, and that's not a good idea
Thank you so much for having me, Jessie!! Love this conversation and love that more people are learning about the diversity within the autism spectrum! ♾❤🙌
This video changed my life. A few months and nearly a thousand dollars later, I've been officially diagnosed with Level 2 ASD and am actually on the path to getting the help I've desperately needed these past 30+ years. So, thank you, Jessica. Your work makes a difference.
@@rachelcookie321 It's something like 1 = mild, 2 = moderate, and 3 = high in terms of symptom severity and support needs, according to the DSM-5. In the past I would probably been have diagnosed with Asperger's or "high-functioning" autism.
I had no idea that the creators of one of my favorite versions of Sherlock said such horrible things about autism... I really liked that show and connected with Sherlock. The idea that the people who made it hate people like me really hurts.
I had mixed feelings about the show and Sherlock himself. Without knowing what the writers had said, I was annoyed by the "high-functioning sociopath" bit they kept doing. (I also think the stuff with Moriarty as well as the final episode felt a lot like Shonen Jump manga/anime adaptations.) But yeah. Strange that they would comment like that. (I'm also not a fan of Stephen Moffat in general.)
@@naomitheminion6275 yes. Now it's still my special interest (Sherlock) but it doesn't hit the same way as it once did. I needed to develop the kind of maturity that lets things like this go as it takes too much energy to fix either the problem or my emotional state. So I'd feel worse for the lack of energy
That show actively seemed to hate most of its audience. The LGBTQ+ ones, teen ones, disabled and autistic ones. In hindsight, it’s so hateful and mean-spirited as a whole.
I have autism and one of the most annoying thing for someone to say to me is "you dont look like you have autism...." Also Jessica your very pretty ^_^ and have a lovely soft spoken voice
Argh!!!! I get this. I had someone at my last job telling I was faking cause I didn’t ‘look autistic’ I asked her what I was meant to look like then? She didn’t speak to me after that
I counter with ‘you don’t look ignorant so I guess we’re both wrong’ when I get told I don’t look autistic! It’s like people want us to be happy that we don’t ‘look disabled’. 😑
I work in direct support, and I have an individual with autism and intellectual disabilities. He has a fixation on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and it makes me smile a little bit that he was born the same year TMNT was started.
I would also like medical professionals to look into whether or not ADHD is part of the spectrum. As someone with ADHD, and everyone in my immediate family has it, ADHD folks share many of the diagnostic criteria for ASD.
@@danielmatson4209 My mom and sister have (confirmed) ADHD, and I'm on the spectrum myself. I have a lot in common with my mom on many levels, but I don't consider ADHD as being on the spectrum. Then again, we never know how medicine and mental health discussions will change in the future (like how Asperger's was its own thing and is now considered part of the spectrum instead).
I'm autistic and also love the Ninja turtles. When I was a little girl, our cat had four kittens. They were all boys. I named them Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo and had blue, purple, red, an orange colors respectively. I was even a ninja for Halloween one year with nunchucks because I wanted to be Mikey.
You were so respectful and confident throughout the video, I was shocked when you said you weren’t autistic because I’m not used to allistic people being so understanding. I know ADHD shares a lot of experiences with autism (I have both, ADHD was diagnosed long before autism), but even then, to talk about this for nearly 40 minutes and be so graceful throughout- your open mind makes you a wonderful person. I hope you know that.
Personally, my favorite headcanon for an autistic character is Zuko from Avatar. He is always stuck on capturing the avatar, and getting really mad when this doesn't work. He was behind on his own firebending, but also has a intrest in duel swords. He also has trouble reading people and prepares before talking to them. I don't know. I just love it.
@@youdontseethateveryday7581 Your welcome! I'm glad to see other people like it too. It makes for a fun lense on a rewatch. I wish I could remember who I first heard it from so I could give them more credit.
god absolutely! trouble with humor and picking up social cues from his peers? blunt to the point of not understanding other's reactions/emotions? fixated on honor to the point of ignoring other things? one of the only benders we see who picks up another form of combat, presumably because of special interest? we love an autistic firelord. plus the narrative of not being naturally talented at a traditionally valued trait (firebending) and being devalued by adults in your life for it, despite talent in other areas (dual dao swords)? being punished for a perceived 'lack of respect' that in reality is just speaking your mind bc you don't know all the secret little ways people move around their point? having to work and struggle to get to the same point that some seem to just have naturally, and then realizing that the markers for success that you were raised with are inherently flawed? very relatable to this autistic viewer, though maybe I'm just projecting.
I dont have autism myself, however I have ADHD, grew up with autism in my family, and now work with autistic children, and one of my favourite head cannons is Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender being autistic or at the least exhibiting lots of autistic traits. There's a huge tumbler post about it and honestly adds so many more layers to Zuko's character. Thank you so much for making this video and for working directly with the autistic community, representation matters but more importantly ***accurate*** representation matters.
"females" (im an afab trans guy) not having autism representation is what caused me to go undiagnosed until i was 15 years old, after getting kicked out of school instead of given support because i wasnt diagnosed. im 20 now and im still incredibly bitter
22yo (afab) enby and have just realised I might be autistic. Trying to start persuing diagnosis as it might help me get through the rest of uni without repeating again. Sorry you were treated so badly, hope you've had support since. Edit: also somehow managed to get my age wrong I'm 21
I'm sorry that you've had to go through that stuggle. I was diagnosed at 11 myself (mostly because of my mom, who is very good judge of character and has ADHD), and it can be a struggle without proper representation. I hope that with your diagnosis and more rep and information, you can have a good and prosperous life! :)
Most of us on the spectrum over 40 are just getting diagnosed now. Be glad things aren't as bad as when I was a kid, adults all called us names back then.
@@blisles7626 You should definitely try to get a diagnosis if you can. I was able to get a lot of support from my school (my own dorm room for one thing) after I proved that I had autism. It does depend on the school, but if they have a disabilities office, you should certainly use the resources provided. And good luck in your education!
I'm struggling with this. I'm always questioning if I should seek a diagnosis. Throughout my life it's been suggested that I should get tested for asperges but I was always turned away because "girls don't have autism". It's also difficult to talk to people about as it then brings in my being trans too. So many descriptions really resonate with me, but I then wonder if it's worth looking into anymore as an adult.
another great thing about abed from community is that his friends don't try to change him and his autistic traits, but instead always bear with him and help him when he has meltdowns (for example; the scene in which he is freaking out about the clock in the study room being changed due to daylight savings time and annie & troy hug and comfort him)! he is also considered to be bisexual by a large part of the community fandom, and while it is never *explicitly* said he is autistic there are a lot of instances in the show where it is heavily implied ("on the spectrum? none of your business", "britta's brother works with children with a disorder i might wanna look up", "mildly autistic superdetectives everywhere")!
As a diehard Grey's Anatomy fan, I gotta point out that the hospital to this date, to 2020, has huge posters for Autism Speaks all over. Which IS the show itself promoting them. This is unforgivable.
As an autistic lass myself, a character I see a lot of positively portrayed autistic traits in is Paddington Bear (or at least the live-action incarnation of the character). In the two films he: • routinely has difficulty picking up on sarcasm and social cues • speaks in a very matter of fact way which can occasionally come across as rudeness • very quickly forms bonds to people who show him respect and kindness • feels very deeply and is hyper-empathetic towards others • eats the same food every day (marmalade sandwiches) • has a special interest in the city of London • has an extremely strict sense of right and wrong Of course all of these could be down to the fact that he was raised in an overall danger-free environment outside of human society, but I can relate to a lot in how he is portrayed and it makes me happy to think he may have some form of autism (or a bear equivalent of autism)
What's also frustrating is that in the majority of these Hollywood narratives about us autistic adults, we are desexualized, infantalized, and ridiculed. It's so frustrating. I'm an autistic woman who is bisexual, and I want to have a career, have a relationship, and start a family. I'm studying to be a GIS Analyst/Cartographer, and I hope to get married and start my own family. I'm tired of society treating us autistic adults like brain-damaged golden retrievers.
I am also a bisexual autistic woman and I agree with you 100 percent. I’m tired of the media portraying autistic people as only white boys who can’t do anything or white boys or men who are savant. There is way more variety in autistic people and autistic traits then the media or just people in general like to talk about. I also hope to get married one day and adopt kids. I am currently majoring in environmental engineering and I want to help build real solution to help combat the climate crisis.
We don't say enough : there's enough being apolitised as well. I remind a woman whose son was autistic, who wanted to design an app made to follow "help" autistic people, that can reaveal thei position anytime to their parents. When I raised the privacy issues floating around that, she didn't even answered, at that time, I was minor. It was before Snowden affair by the way. Too many people used Greta Thunberg's autism to invalidate her speech and it's infuriating. It could be nice to see more autistic people with political opinions (Temple Grandin is among the rare examples I have in mind, perhaps the only one). Or the writers consider autistic people are naturally egoistic, which is quite ironic, when when we are the ones who got used to permanently adapt to an hegemonic standard for them to be at ease with often no equivalence.
my favorite representation is Marcy from the disney show Amphibia. she's one of the main characters, and the best friend of Anne, the main character. She cares a lot about her interests, mostly fantasy movies and video games. her friends ignore her and don't really care about her interests, but it's a subplot in season 3 where they realize that they haven't been very good friends. she's very clumsy, but also really smart, and really cares about her friends. She makes some not so smart descisons, such as stealing a music box that causes her and her friends to get transported to the frog dimension, or trusting the newt king who will stab her in the back (literally), but her motivations make sense, and her reasons for them make a lot of sense. She really struggles with change, so when her parents tell her that she's moving and will have to leave all of her friends and everything she knows, she decides to travel to a world where she would never have to leave her friends, and she could stay with her friends and have adventures. it backfires, leaving them stranded in a world of frogs and newts. but overall, she's written really well and realistically, and is by far my favorite character in the show.
I have autism and the one and only time I tried to talk about this sort of thing with my neurotypical friend I was pretty much told “You’ve got representation, stop complaining.” It can be frustrating to try and discuss this because I realise most don’t mean to get it wrong but it does get frustrating when people tell me that they genuinely think we ALL have superpowers. I think I would get a little less annoyed if they acknowledged the pros as well as the cons.
That’s not your friend, that’s a leech: from a fellow autistic. I went through something similar. I think we both know neither of us deserve that treatment.
The "superpower" claim is a way for some people to ignore a lac of services in some areas. "If you have a superpower, why should I care if you don't get more help? You have a superpower!" Those memes don't originate with people who have those conditions. It's started by physically healthy and/or neurotypical people who want to feel better about doing nothing, who then enforce the superpower-label onto others.
I'm surprised that Leonardo DiCaprio's portrayal of Arnie in What's Eating Gilbert Grape wasn't mentioned. His portrayal had a very profound effect on me watching it because I related to so many of the things that Arnie did with the things I did myself as a kid. When he's playing hide and seek with his siblings, but is clearly not hiding, in plain sight and laughing very loudly, that got me because I played that exact game with my mum when I was very little. It made me so happy to see an autistic person in film who wasn't a savant, who isn't cold and emotionless (in fact, Arnie is incredibly emotional and can be seen often see sawing between being deeply upset to europhically happy), he was just a person with difficulties. And Gilbert loves his brother. And when they finally go with Gilbert's girlfriend, he takes Arnie with him. Yes, of course being a carer is draining and challenging, but no one ever says that Arnie is a burden. That's just the way he is and that's okay. All of the characters in the family are very dysfunctional for different reasons. Arnie is just one of them. He's not a problem to be solved, he's just Arnie. I know some people have an issue with non-autistic actors playing autistic characters and that is definitely a valid debate, but Arnie is SUCH an important character to me. This has been my Ted Talk on What's Eating Gilbert Grape, thank you for having me.
I find it interesting that media often has ONE lgbt or ONE autistic character when, at least in my personal experience, I often naturally gravitated and related to other lgbt or autistic kids growing up. I found it easy and comfortable talking with other autistic kids and would make friends with them because we thought similarly/had similar interests or experiences (I'm not formally diagnosed). In reality, it moreso ends up being an entire close friend group of autistic queer kids!
There's so much complexity in Actual People that they just don't want to have to think about in character interactions because it's more complicated than dismissing everything and focusing in on a single character or trait
I'd highly recommend watching she ra!! theres only one autistic character (who absolutely owns my heart i love u entrapta) but almost everyone in the mostly female cast is lgbt!! its so so good
As a person with ADHD and anxiety I can identify with a lot of the stressors I saw in Sheldon with his protective approach to his environment. Any changes to my environment outside my immediate control (temp. Noise level, brightness) cause me a lot of anger as an anxiety response. I really appreciate vids like this that talk about representation. Also I got ridiculously giddy when you mentioned aces. Thank you!!!
As an autistic woman, I really hesitated to watch this. My immediate thought was "omg this is one of my favorite youtubers and if this video sucks...theres just no going back! Ill remember whatever she says wrong forever!" Thank you so much for such a well done video. I was almost tearing up because at the end of it there wasnt a single thing you said that I left me feeling unhappy. The empathetic side comments you make in support of us was so nice too. ❤ And you didnt just talk about us without us either! So much love❤
as a not autistic person, i also almost cried the first time i saw loop. it was really sweet and i’m happy that there’s good representation for you like that!!
@@rachelcookie321 Eyo everyone stims at least a little, loads of different things can be stims (skin picking, humming, fidgeting with objects, doodling, leg bouncing, biting lips/cheeks, drumming fingers, tapping foot, stroking a soft toy, biting nails, sucking thumb, chewing objects, chewing gum, playing songs/movies/etc in one's head), almost anything tbh that basically everyone does, it's usually that autistic people are more likely to stim more and have a wider variety of stims that might seem more different, but this isn't always the case so that's fair, it's just more likely rather than for definite. But ye just a note that everyone stims, usually a lot more than they know, including non-autistic people, we often don't realise that we're stimming when we are.
I love Bones. I like how she exhibits different levels of it in different episodes. To me thats very real. Some days im more sensitive to sounds, or im better at socializing with people, can talk about more things, and can read peoples emotions better. But other days i have to set alarms to tell myself to drink water.
I'm not Autistic, but I have an attachment disorder, and I identify with Bones probably more than any other female character I've ever seen. I also work in a field where death and gross things are part of my daily life and often accidentally make people uncomfortable by discussing those things in casual conversation (because I'm so passionate about what I do), so that deepens the feeling.
Seeing characters like Sherlock Holmes and Baby (Baby Driver) behave like me and learning that those behaviors I share with them are what make them autistic coded is what first prompted me to look into getting a diagnosis (which feels absolutely impossible for me as an adult!!!), so this video was super interesting to me!!
Just commenting on the Bella being autistic theory : I feel the theory would make more sense if she had ADHD : forgetting basic stuff like keeping in touch because her focus is on Edward, living day to day (because being organised and capable of projecting oneself in the future are common ADHD struggles) Just putting it out here. Also it's worth noting that a lot of ppl with ADHD have autistic traits and vice versa, so my point doesn't invalidate the theory at all.
I completely agree with you. Bella's impulsiveness screams ADHD to me, and the way she can't manage to write to her mom sounds just like executive dysfunction, and my inability to stay in touch with people I cared about as a kid, if they moved away
Yeah, ADHD and ASD have so many overlapping symptoms but they still have enough differences to be told apart I think. It makes it difficult to self diagnose, though. XD
I find both the autism and the ADHD theories to be very interesting takes that I never really considered before. I always thought Bella reminded me of my brother, who my parents suspected of having both ADHD and being on the spectrum, but who was "only" diagnosed as being an extremely shy introvert with social anxiety and depression. I thought of Bella as not trying to make friends because she was very shy, not having the energy to fit in or make plans for her life because of her depression, and just wanting to take up as little space and attention as possible because of both. I feel like she picks up on a lot of social cues when it comes to her female friends, like changing the conversation when people are upset or trying to hint that people should do other things as to not hurt others feelings. She is overall just extremely passive when it comes to everything (at least for the first book), except her obsession with Edward, which felt like a teenager in an unhealthy and obsessive relationship would be like. And I don't think autism would explain why Edward can't read her thoughts. There's no way that he has been able to read people's minds for 70+ years and has NEVER ran into a person with autism before lol. Bella could totally still be on the spectrum, but that can't be the explanation. (Edit: I am reading more about autism in women now and I'm starting to really see and understand some of these points now. Wow. I am painfully undereducated in how autism tend to show up in women)
I feel like autistic community also have the same problem as a lot of other communities with being so starved for representation that some people will literally take anything, no matter how terrible it is. By the way, when I got my diagnosis, my parents were shocked. Mainly because my younger brother also has autism but experiences it radically differently, and does act very much like someone who has never met an autistic persons idea of an autistic person. For example, he has trouble conveying how he feels, which can often come off as if he lacks empathy. He doesn’t. Yet, my mom seemed to think so, and said she thought i was too “empathetic”, “happy to help” and even too “emotional” to have autism....
A character that I grew up with is Lilo from the Disney movie Lilo & Stitch, as far as I know no one invloved has said shes supposed to be autistic, but having two siblings on the autism spectrum and recognizing autism traits in myself, I see myself and my siblings in her everytime I think of the movie.
Lilo is not autistic, she's a normal actual 6-year-old. She stands out bcs she's one of the very very few kid characters who actually acts like a real kid, tantrums and all
@@pink_alligator I don't think she's a typical child. She's a traumatized child dealing with life in the remains of a tragedy. I mean that's not unusual, because bad things happen a lot.
So... I just wanted to thank you for making this. Watching this video when when you first uploaded it was the first time it clicked for me that I might be autistic. Along with the excellent information on here, it led me to seeking out content made by autistic youtubers that ultimately led to me seeking a diagnosis. I'm in my thirties and it was... Kinda jaw dropping to suddenly have such a clear understanding of why I do certain things that I've previously punished myself for. After so many years of different diagnosies and different doctors and therapists and still just not really understanding... it feels really good. So, again, thank you for creating such wonderful inclusive content. It has literally changed my life.
I love this video, but I honestly never thought Abed has a cold demeanor despite how often I hear him described that way. He's one of few autistic characters I can totally relate to (I cried the first time I watched Community and realized that, hes so good) and have always read him as being the most compassionate character with a few times he obviously misses the mark (because good intentions don't always end in positive impact)
I'm neurotypical, but I've cried so many times at his plotlines, because I can see that he really feels a lot of emotions, but he has trouble expressing them. Also I love his relationship with Troy because it never is portrayed like he burdens him, but rather adds another layer of fun and adventure to their everyday life
I would call it "flat affect" - thinking of the psych experiment episode in particular. "I was livid", in the same tone as if he was reading a grocery list. That episode really hurt to watch, because I've been in almost identical situations where people don't listen to my words and just go by misinterpretations of my body language/tone.
My doctor(GP) told me I wasn’t autistic (I told him how my therapist wanted to send me in to be tested for autism. At this time I was 14.) because, and I quote “Every autistic person I’ve ever seen throw fits, are violent, and have terrible grades.” I didn’t end up going back to my therapist because I stopped pressing the issue and didn’t get diagnosed till I was 18 years old. Causing me to only start getting help in school my senior year, which would have greatly helped my grades the previous years.
Your experience is obviously awful & drs being dismissive leaves a lot of people to struggle alone. I am glad you managed to get a diagnosis, even if it was 4 years later due to negligent medical care. However what I find particuarly annoying is that they don't educate themselves & realize that they have probably missed 80% of autistic adults they have seen because of their stupid narrow-minded steryotypes of what an autistic person looks & acts like. So they continue to dismiss all other autistic people looking for a diagnosis, or even argue with autistic people who already have a diagnosis.
I basically had to give my GP a presentation on how autism in women shows differently before he was willing to give me a referral for official diagnosis.
I'll go you one worse. I am diagnosed autistic, and also believe I have ADHD due to self-diagnosis from awesome RUclips channels such as "How to ADHD" which was the first time I ever felt seen/heard in my life on many of these issues. I then recognized similar issues in my son, so we brought it up with my son's therapist. (He had been in therapy for various things for years already.) My son was told by his therapist that he "couldn't possibly have autism or ADHD" because "they could tell by looking at him". This was at my city's official mental health facility! Later, when I complained and demanded an official diagnosis we were told they didn't do diagnoses of either of those conditions and I would have to go find my own doctor somewhere to help me if I wanted that. Every time in this facility we brought up the need for help, with these conditions in mind, we have been asked "what do you think a diagnosis is going to do for you?" We've been struggling since my son was 14 (he's 20 now) to get him the therapy he needed because he was struggling so hard with everything. But I was barred from being involved with his therapy in any way because I was not the client, even after both he and I begged to have me there because he needs me to help translate/interpret what each side means, and express what he struggles to find words to say, and advocate for him when they bulldoze over his right to be heard or believed. After he turned 16 he was told he could not possibly have ADHD or autism because "surely they would have detected it in you as a child if it were true". Now that he is 20 they claim he cannot have ADHD because "that is something that only affects children". So yeah, most of our progress with these issues has been due to self-diagnosis, and seeking out independent sources of advice and understanding such as RUclips videos on the subject. Even the systems theoretically put in place specifically to help people like us are not being helpful, and are gaslighting and denying our lived realities.
I sympathize with your replies. I have ADHD as well. It’s one of the reasons that effected me getting a diagnoses as well. I was already diagnosed with ADHD.
An interesting autism coded character would be Eleven from Stranger Things. Although all of her autistic symptoms are because she was raised in a lab, it still feels very similar to autism.
I thought she might bring up eleven when talking about autism and superpowers, as (although I am not autistic) I thought she was supposed to be hinted at having autism/have some traits but they never confirmed or denied it.
@Mister Squiggles Well yes that’s true, but to me it seems like she has many autistic characteristics too, although I suppose they could all be from PTSD
@@louisadsc it could easily just be adhd too many people find out later on in life that they got misdiagnosed with autism when in actual fact they have adhd because they somewhat overlap that most girls get diagnosed or like you assumed someone is autistic when in actual fact it's adhd
Also cheers to including Plumbella. She's awesome as a person and simmer, but also great because she's very open about being autistic and recognizing Sims as her special interest. She also spreads awareness about mental health in general, by sharing when her upload schedule is changing due to anxiety or depression.
Just thought I'd throw this small correction out there. "Ace" generally means "asexual" which is different than "aromantic". You can be ace while still having romantic feelings for people. Love your videos, I've learned so much from you!
I'm so grateful other people are commenting on that, I'm not gonna lie as great as it's been to see ace mentioned in other videos (like what not to say to LGBT+ people), that comment kinda hurt, and it's a stereotype that really needs to die off. (I'm ace, but not aro).
Also aspec people still... have feelings? Rejection of someone you have feelings about (and both asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums) still hurts no matter what your orientation is.
I love how you talk about the positive traits that autism can come with. My boyfriend has autism, which makes him a no-nonsense and honest guy. When I am explaining my point of view to him, I am not asking him to understand anymore, this used to put a lot of extra stress on our arguments. Now, I ask him to accept how I feel. That way he doesn't get frustrated for not completely understanding my mental situation that he can't always relate to, but I still feel validated. It can be challenging sometimes, but to me there are so many positive traits to autism, if you can look deeper than social clumsyness or a 'reserved' attitude.
Hi! I’m on the spectrum and, while I’m only 7 minutes in, I wanted to say this before I forgot: Hollywood is a nightmare when it comes to us, but I personally like the character Spencer Reid on Criminal Minds. He is portrayed as a super genius, which is an often-used trope to get NTs to not realize how badly they represent us, BUT Reid’s other symptoms of autism, such as deficits in verbal/nonverbal communication, are met with kindness and understanding by his colleagues. Also, Reid’s empathy (especially with his colleague/friend JJ) is revealed to be strong as the show progresses, and Reid’s own emotional struggles (like with his mom’s dementia and his father leaving him as a young kid) are not at all trivialized. He is not treated like a smart little baby, but rather as another colleague who needs some extra attention when it comes to communicating clearly, and his overly-detailed explanations are seen as a good thing that contributes to his character. Even if the other characters might joke about his ramblings, they don’t do it in a pejorative way. I know he isn’t the best there could be, but he’s the best I’ve seen and I have hope for other shows to follow.
even in the first episode he asks how he should have people to refer to him and his coworker responded "Doctor Reid" because he didn't want him to be viewed as anything diminutive due to age or other reasons
As a special needs (mental and physical) teacher (I hate that ‘special’ is the title) in a need pure secondary school in England and with a highly autistic younger brother, I’m really thankful for your video Katherine. The way you delivered facts and information to those who may not be aware and hopefully educated them all whilst showing your own knowledge on the subject whilst remaining so aware that no two people with autism are the same (just like how everyone looks different and even identical twins have dissimilarities) is so amazing and I’m so grateful for the way you’ve made this video. Thankyou ❤️
![The History of Queer Coding [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/GsO4fZYHQic/mqdefault.jpg)
![Can you tell if a disabled person is 'faking'? (yes, Jameela Jamil) [CC]](/img/1.gif)
"when you think of autism in the context of pasta" is not a sentence I thought I would be hearing this morning but I'm here for it
I was reminded so hard of my year nine health oral: "using condoms is just like brushing your teeth..." My teacher started laughing and I had no idea why! Strange analogies are my favourite :)
autistic and italian, this is my life
I think that makes me a dried tortellini
As an autistic person I approve this analogy because I too am crunchy if you try to eat me before cooking. :)
Also I think I'm fusilli lunghi. On account of loving the concept of it in a recipe about making The Twits wormy spaghetti in the Roald Dahl Revolting Recipes book which I spent hours upon hours re-reading as a kid.
My little sister was told she "Can't be autistic because she has *friends*". I wish I was kidding! She was eventually diagnosed by someone else.
When I was being evaluated for autism, the doctor took of some "autism points" (idk what they're called) because I was too self aware. I had told her, "I am very obsessed with pirates right now, but chances are I will have a different obsession in a year or so." (11 year old me was right about that, btw.) Low self-awareness isn't part of the criteria for autism, it's just a stereotype. Mind blindness is very different from low self awareness.
@@tvaholicsquidney ??? you have no idea what you’re talking about and how much autism affects people in ways you don’t see. I also have been seeking a diagnosis but rejected due to stereotypes and a male based criteria. (Despite the fact that every doctor or social worker who has worked with me for long enough comes to the conclusion of autism). It’s actually quite difficult to reach a diagnosis for a lot of us. Just because you don’t see the way their autism affects them does not mean it isn’t there. I suggest you look into what masking is and please educate yourself before speaking further on the subject.
@@tvaholicsquidney You are deeply misinformed about autism and it’s diagnostic process, please educate yourself. I’ve seen a few comments from you on this video in particular and all of them are spreading misinformation.
"Fun fact": I seeked diagnosis by an autism expert who works in a very respected hospital in my country (Germany). The first thing that bothered me and stressed me out was that I had to wait for over an hour despite having an appointment and people there knew I wouldn't see the doctor for a while... yet no one bother to tell me that... Additonally I had to travel from a different city there and would need to catch my train back home in less than three hours. Massively stressful... By the time I finally got to see the doctor I expected him to apologise for not having the appointment on time - because that's what every doctor so far did in the past in my experience. He didn't. He didn't say why the appointment didn't happen in time. In fact I noticed that he had been there all the time, chatting with people about random things, etc. and didn't do his damn job. That's a big no in my book...
So naturally I was upset about not getting seen on time when he clearly did have the time for that and he didn't even bother to tell me a white lie. I was literally standing in front him fidgeting and stimming and rocking and being SO painfully obviously autistic and after not even five sentences from me and no questions about anything relating to me seeking an autism diagnosis - he looked at me straight and said that he can test me for autism but that he doesn't see the point and that I'm "VERY likely not autistic" in a very condescending way... I was just shocked... I was literally showing stereotypical autistic behaviour and stressed out of my mind and he said THAT. His medicial bias couldn't have shown any stronger apparently... And that was someone who actually worked on a study about autism where they took blood samples of people and wanted to look for differences between autistic and neurotypical people... (That alone sounded very dumb and illogical to me tbh.)
So after that I needed an entire week to recover from that experience and the stress of it all. Luckily I was already on the waiting list of a hospital in my city who also diagnose autism in adults. The whole time I was there I felt actually heard and they kept asking when they weren't sure if they understood something correctly. When I got my diagnosis from them it was SUCH a relief and I was told totally stunned by the doctor that he didn't understood how I wasn't diagnosed already because it's SO obvious that I'm autistic... I was too overwhelmed to actually tell him the multiple reasons as to why (half of my family seems to be on the spectrum without knowing it and are very heavily in denial about a bunch of things) and I'm still not sure if he actually wanted an answer to that or not (probably not but I would have given him one anyway).
I was lucky that I got my diagnosis only a couple of weeks before going on holiday to Disneyland Resort Paris because that way I could get him to write a small statement about having autism and thus getting accomodated in the two theme parks (which is mainly being able to skip lines and being able to return at a certain time for a character meeting - it was so much less stressful than the other times I've been there before getting my diagnosis and made a huge difference for me) - which was something he didn't know. I'm actually really glad that he learned that from me because he's responsible for diagnosing children and can tell families about it now and maybe that way some people actually will go there and have it less stressful as well...
I can't wait to go back once everything is back to "normal" and my son is a bit older. Now that I have an official disability card the cost is gonna be less because my boyfriend won't have to pay for his stay basically since he's gonna be the one who helps me around and stuff - and that's a perk Disneyland Paris hides really well on their websites and they have a fool proof way of going about it so it doesn't get abused. (You have to book via phone, get an email with the normal price for everything, then you send them a copy of the disability card via email and then you get an email with the reduced price back.)
I just really LOVE Disney (I think that's pretty clear.) and going to Disneyland Paris is way better for me than going on to a health resort (I've been dragged to one once and after that I would have needed four weeks of something like that but this time without the dozens of people. It stressed me out so much.). The last time I went there I was so stressed out that I felt like I might need two years of therapy and at least half a year with no human contact to destress. Once I was there for an hour the entire stress that had piled up in the last few years was pretty much gone... If I would be able to speak French I would have applied to work there ages ago but I really don't get the hang of it, so I have to save up for a few years in order to afford going to my number one happy place that destresses me... but it's worth it for me... 😶 (Sorry for the massiv rant!! 😅)
@@tvaholicsquidney my experience was nothing like this and neither are the experiences of plenty of people (especially woman and young girls)
it's not even like this with other disorders
misdiagnose and lack of diagnose can be dangerous, i was put of medication that's known to make my disorder worse for y e a r s and while it was making me literally lose my mind i was constantly told it was my fault by professionals
also, what are the negatives to people who have autism actually being diagnosed? do you think you're suddenly going to have to pay millions in taxes or something because of it???
(i personally don't have autism but the combined symptoms of my other disorders are similar to autism in many ways)
once i asked my therapist: how do neurotypicals understand each other? and he bluntly answered: they don't.
Under. Rated. Statement.
I have had these same thoughts and noticed the same.....I have also noticed that although we are the ones who are labeled as having "mind blindness"...we at least still give a crap about it....a vast majority of the general population is so self-centered they refuse to care/think about what others think/feel....to me that's true blindness...we're just mind nearsighted or mind farsighted, since there's still some effort there from our "eyes" at least. Lol. Sorry. Terrible analogy.
@@SoManyRandomRamblings It's actually very insightful. Little wordy, yes. But it's genuine and it's yours. There's some history backing your sentiment up too. ❤️
~ "It's the blind leading the blind." - The Upanishads, 800-200 B.C.
~ "In the land of the blind, the One-Eyed man is king" - Desiderius Erasmus's Adagia (1500)
Look into it, do some reading, and you could construct a beautiful argument. I think what these two quotes can ultimately teach us, is that this isn't a new occurrence. Humans have long since been this way.
@@SoManyRandomRamblings perfectly valid. Like Annie, I'm an excellent masker, and, having studied neurotypical interaction extensively, I've come to believe that all those social interactions we don't understand are codes and sort of... stock vignettes; like archetypal themes, but on a more mundane level. They learn them and play them, but they don't ever go underneath them; for the autist, it's ALL underneath.... We don't have that layer of social armor, and, while we see it on other people, we very often see through it.... Either that, or we see it and take it for their real essence, which is definitely a handicap. I think the degree to which we are fooled reflects the degree to which they are consciously hiding their motives.
So, basically, neurotypical behavior at its most deceptive IS self-interested; it's in aid of protecting their soft emotional underbelly with ritual behavior....
I'm not in any way suggesting that's true of all NTs.
If you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person. Every one is very different.
people have a lot of trouble understanding that conditions, disorders and disabilities are not personalities
Yes
I am autistic and I've noticed that so many people don't seem to get this. I've heard things like: "But my autistic cousin doesn't struggle with that so why do you?" or something similar, so many times. I constantly have to tell people that autism is a spectrum and everyone experiences it differently. Also since I've been diagnosed all my friends have been trying to compare themselves to me and say things like: "Oh yeah I struggle with that too, I must be autistic then" and all I can say is that if they think so they should get that tested. It really annoys me for some reason that when I talk about my struggles people can only talk about how they struggle with that too. Like, no you're not struggling with the same thing, something similar perhaps but everyone is unique so stop comparing please.
Amen! I have a brother with autism and some people think autism is one thing. I had someone ask me if my brother was a savant...........
jUsT liKe rEguLaR pEoPle?
I’ve been asked “what’s your superpower then?” When I’ve told people I have autism, my go to is usually “oh I can fly” in the most deadpan voice
Love it! We have a lot of people that say things like that about my son all the time. Like he a really good memory but they think it because of autism
Brenda Brodhagen yeah I never really understood it to be honest 😂 I can recall events and memories pretty well but ask me to remember a bunch of terms for a test, haha no thank you
I just say trivia and making people uncomfortable, then say a very disturbing true fact and stand there awkwardly 😂. Sometimes it can be fun playing to stereotypical expectations
Carey Roberts haha brilliant. I usually try and come up with really outlandish responses for stupid questions like that. Livens the conversation up a bit 😂
@@doodars9357 exactly! My son can remember things that happened when he was 4 but never tests well except for spelling
But can we please talk about how Benedict Cumberbatch's version of Alan Turing purposefully played him as a cold, savant like character (probably most akin to Sheldon). When the real Alan Turing has been described by everyone who knew him as immediately warm and kind.
Yes! I really was offended by his portrayal of Turing, and sad that people will likely remember the movie better than the real Turing
It didn't even make sense within the film version.
CumberTuring: hello I have no social skills and am rude to everybody because I don't know any better
CumberTuring: btw I wrote a letter to the Prime Minister and persuaded him to give us an unlimited budget and ponies for everybody, no biggie
Also the fact that Benedict Cumberbatch has said in interviews that he doesn’t like it when people say that Alan Turing and Sherlock are autistic because it gives autistic people ‘false hope’ that they can achieve things
It's no big secret that Cucumberpatch is a bigot that thinks EXTREMELY poorly of autistic people.
Even Sheldon shows warm moments yes throughout the show they make him cold and negates any warm character development and it sucks
They also made Penny more of a bitch vs how open and warm she was with the guys not being the ‘mean girl’ troupe Yet in later seasons she more and more mean
I once started crying because my teacher was yelling at someone else
Yep, me too.
I always want to help them.
Same here. More than once.
Idk if you meant it as this, but that's not an autistic thing. I almost have panic attacks when I see people arguing and used to cry when I saw my sister cry/my parents yell at my sister and I'm completely normal.
@@keiraschneider4769 hi! I'm sure you don't mean any harm, but using "normal" to refer to not-autistic people can be harmful. "neurotypical" is generally considered the politically correct term to use, although it also has its flaws as being autistic, having anxiety, etc., don't make you not "normal", if that makes any sense. That being said, I think tendencies like this are probably more common for autistic people than people in general, but other factors such as anxiety could also certainly contribute to why you experience this.
Disclaimer: I'm not autistic, but I have general and social anxiety and possibly mild PTSD
I was in college before it was even mentioned I could be on the spectrum. My doctor said I was “spoiled” and my parents needed to stop sheltering me and start “punishing” my tantrums. Yeah those were meltdowns from over stimulation.
I use to work in a facility with senior autistic clients so it’s nice to see more “ high functioning “ characters but most of the people I cared for were non verbal and deaf and sometimes blind to boot , there are many different ways it can effect a person. In grade school I had classes with autistic classmates I wasn’t ever told what was “ wrong “ with me so I never really improved in school just told me I had a learning disability but not what it was or how to combat it and my social anxiety stopped me from asking for help,Later my foster mom told me I might be on the spectrum but I never got an official diagnosis. Even after seeing doctors they chalked most of my issues up to PTSD from my traumatic childhood saying I was just so abused as a child I couldn’t function emotionally or mentally as a teen now adult.
Same. Trauma
I’m sorry to hear about what happened.
Spoiler alert: the exact same thing happened to me, except, I was also accused of being manipulative.
When I was a little kid my parents used to punish me when I had meltdowns which just made it worse. Once I was diagnosed they realised that wasn’t the right approach and starting supporting me more and it really helped.
I’m sorry that happened to u hope ur ok now. I think doctors sometimes know someone’s autistic but they just can’t be bothered with paperwork
As an autistic person who was also a ‘gifted kid’ I thought for most of my life that I needed to use my talents to become a great scientist to be worth something and make up for my faults. Only now in my mid twenties do I realize that’s false and I’m struggling with my self-worth, and the the ‘savant’ type representation isn’t helping.
Same my dude... The low self esteem actually kept me from enjoying and therefore doing the things I am supposedly gifted in (art and science). Because every time I did something that was great, everyone expected it and there was no praise. Everytime I completely bombed something, people were in shock, how could this be, you're better than this, etc. So I started to feel like I couldn't get anything right.
At the same time I felt immense pressure to not "let it go to waste".
But I started to draw again last year, and I started studying a science at university.
After years of being lost and career hopping.
I'm doing it for me and myself only.
I won't talk about my grades or show my drawings to anyone.
My point is: do what makes you happy and f**k expectations from others!
❤❤❤ :D this is a golden realisation! Thank you so much for sharing it 😍💜💙
I went through the same thing. I remember doing my talented and gifted class homework in my special Ed class. If you come out as trans too you might be younger me
You do you. Don't try and live up to something that is not you.
🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I can relate :/ but the thing is, my anxiety and depression have gotten in the way of my “gifts” in ways that other people can’t see, so now I try to be kind to myself and consider myself and accept that I’m disabled, not intellectually or physically, but emotionally, due to the loneliness that accompanies my Asperger’s diagnosis. Thinking like this has helped me stop wondering “so which is it, am I a genius or am I useless??” Because it’s neither. Overall, I’m more like just another average person, with some good and some bad :)
one thing i really like about abed is that every time other characters try to “help” him, it always turns out horribly because the other characters are wrong about what he “needs” (and usually they’re wrong about him needing help in the first place). it’s a nice take on the savior complex people have towards autistic people
It also helps that the people trying to "fix" him have a multitude of mental health issues themselves.
"I've got self-esteem falling out of my butt"- Abed Nadir
What about the empathy simulation room episode in season... 3? I think?
@@TheMewtata if i remember the episode correctly, i think at the end of the day annie admitted that abed didn't need to change, but he hose to keep her addition of empathy??? also she helped him overcome his insecurities bc they are things everyone goes through more than proving she was right to change him (i havent seen the episode in a while) but overall the other characters don't try and change him, there are only a few episodes kinda like that
Yes! Thank you
Got an ad while watching from ASOS about how “whatever makeup tutorial your watching isn’t as important as this sale”... no I’m educating my self on disabilities. Your sale can get out lol.
Grace Raimo
Lol I hate that ad
I'm never buying anything from asos because they're annoying as hell
WhiteVII en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_model_of_disability (I’m aware that this is a Wikipedia link, but it still makes a good quick explanation on the social model of disability)
WhiteVII I wasn’t specifically calling autism a disability but referring to Jessica’s videos about them in general. Like I said, I am learning. I’m sorry if I offended you.
@WhiteVII as someone who has autism, it is absolutely a disability. Some of it stems from society, yes, but much of it, at least in my experience, really doesn't.
I find it really interesting that the "hollywood autistic person" is often the cis straight white man, when in reality people with autism, such as myself and my friends, often have a much more wide and flexible relationship with gender and sexuality. the running theory that the lack of social "awareness" or understanding stops us from limiting ourselves to the binary boxes, its really interesting
Also, "hollywood autistics" are almost always portrayed as asexual, and while some autistics are asexual, the vast majority are not, and autistic people have the same range of sexualities as NT people. Although, apparently, autistic people are twice as likely to be LBGT as NT people, but that may be because more NT people are closeted.
I am not an autistic person [though it has been proposed many times, I am nuerodivergent] is it perhaps because, not just autistic people, but neurodiverse people as a whole, have to explore themselves much more? Perhaps such is why we apparently tend to be in the LGBT+ community? It is hard for me to try and translate these thoughts into words, because I'm not exactly sure where this idea I just had came from anymore, but I am curious of your thoughts.
that's a pretty convincing theory, given my experience.
i'm autistic and bi! I'm AFAB, but I've also experimented with gender through my life! at first I thought the reason i felt weird about my gender was because I'm a trans guy, so I tried that out, didn't fit. so I thought maybe i was genderfluid? but nope, didn't fit either. but when I sat down and decided I was just a "regular girl" that didn't feel right either.
then I understood that I just, *don't understand* what the big deal about gender is.
a group of online friends I hung out with thought I was a guy for months, and I didn't even notice. (lol) i go by all pronouns now. in everyday conversation I use any gendered terms to refer to myself, not on purpose, it's just the way I talk.
I've never understood why gender was this sacred cow to cis people, where this goes with this, that goes with that, stereotypes are inflexible FACT, and you would NEVER want to end up doing or wearing something that made you look like the opposite gender.
Nowadays, I understand that people's identities simply mean a lot to them, but society sorta blew the whole deal out of proportion. But I still can't relate to the solid idea of gender, I still don't even call myself non-binary because even THAT doesn't feel right. I don't feel on OR out of a binary. at all times I'm comfortable with being a woman, and I'm also comfortable with being a man, and just a person too.
the closest label I've ever really identified with was Gender Non Conforming. I just don't think I'll be able to care about gender as much as it seems everyone else does. I'm just a dude living their life, y'know?
tl;dr?
lol relatable
I am agender, pansexual, and autistic. We are all unique and often experience gender in an abstract way.
exactly ! [black nb lesbian here !]
A couple of weeks ago I was describing some sensory problems in childhood, like having a panic attack because of ceiling fans or the car going too fast. She said, "that almost sounds like autism....but your social skills are so good!" I replied, "you're seeing 32 years of hard practice interacting with people..."
Exactly! We had to adapt to our environment before being finally diagnosed.
It took 10 years for my son to be able to handle being around helium balloons without freaking out - but only inside. He also isn't fond of a lot of wind if he's out of doors. After kindergarten it became an issue, before that his ODC was the only real sign of autism. He works tirelessly to assimilate into society and I'm proud of him, but I wish he could understand I love him just the way he is. he tries so hard not to be autistic - he doesn't wanna be. And that kills me, I wish he could be self-aware, you give me hope one day he will accept that neurotypical is not the only way to be! Much love
I can totally relate. I'm sixty and got a diagnosis five years ago. I'd been treated for depression and social phobia all my life as well as other issues and of all my therapists not one considered it until I brought up the subject. Which I only thought of because my sister got diagnosed....in her forties. Both of us have high verbal ability and Mensa level iq (not bragging here, it's just true) so it was never considered.
and masking causes depression, at least that happened to me and a lot of other autistic people I got to know in the last few years
I haven’t been able to brush my teeth is almost 18 and a half years of my life. I can’t stand it. My grandma used to brush my teeth for me because that was the ONLY way I’d be able to stand it for long enough. If that isn’t an autism sign, I don’t know what is
I’d love to see your take on ADHD in media. So often the portrayals are only hyperactive or “SQUIRREL!” type characters. ADHD can manifest in a lot of other ways. But when a person with ADHD doesn’t act like the stereotype, others may assume they’re faking it (and then proceed to ask if they’ll share their prescription because surely they don’t need it to function day to day, or they can simply pop back to the pharmacy for a refill).
Yeah, it also would be indeed nice to show some people more on ADD side, constantly forgetting everything, not able to focus but not because of hyperactiveness, just because they can't etc.
This would be especially interesting since some of her struggles with memory and processing really hit close to home to me with ADHD.
Yes, please do this video! Much like Autism, it's got a rocky diagnosis/representation history with girls.
Yes! That would be amazing. I have ADHD and while I'm so glad it isn't one of those mental challenges that some people have that are portrayed as "psycho killers" (such as the stereotype around schizophrenia) I do not want to be seen as just some energetic kid that is the punchline to every joke
@@magpiem0th YES! That's soo annoying. Like no. Even if you're on hyperactive side more, it doesn't mean you're always energetic, you can even seem out of energy often, but still having some moves that others do not notice. People make it seem like it's always the /healthy/ and /visible/ energetism, also... Which isn't true.
Being an autistic woman, I feel strongly connected with cats. They are heavily misinterpreted and thought of not being loyal or loving by many people. Mostly due to how they express their love. Being lucky to have befriended a handful of cats in my life, and now living with one myself, I know how strong the love towards their humans can be. My cat may not show affection as obvious as dogs may, but she shows me every day in her own way and is anything but cold-hearted. I may not always know how to show or express my emotions, but man, I feel empathy in a way that often is too overwhelming to me.
That's so true. I can't stand that a lot of dogs are (often educated) to be offensive towards other people. I know that my cat has the best mood when you leave him alone and he is sleeping somewhere, and he comes to you and shows you explicit when he wants to be caressed or wants to eat or play. And also sometimes he is teasing me and I am teasing him, but it's perfectly fine.
I saw cats and got excited. Cats helped me explain to people how my brain works and how to interact with me the best. And I always preferred cats over people because I felt it easier to understand cats than people.
That's a great analogy, never thought about it like that. I love cats and dogs and they definitely require different accommodations and behavior to interact with them, but they are both a pleasure to be around :)
That’s awesome! It reminds me of voidpunk sorta, like relating to non-human things more than human ones. I personally connect a lot with the fae, like, I’m vaguely human shaped but a little off, I take everything literally, I don’t understand people all that well
It's ME although I'm nonbinary but cats are absolutely my first and longest lasting special interest. And I identify very closely with them, also probably understand them better than many humans tbh. Multiple partners and friends refer to me as Kitty, and as I'm sitting in front of my computer right now (with a real cat behind my chair) I can see at least eleven different cat-shaped or cat-themed objects without even turning my head; also 50% of my tattoos are of cats.
As someone with autism, I can say I don't mind portrayals of people with autism that aren't like me. I do however have a problem with the same type of portrayal being used over and over and over again. It makes it so everyone sees only 1 type of autism and assumes that everyone on the spectrum is like that.
Yeah, like how you're supposed to make justice to the Autism SPECTRUM, if you only show ONE side of that spectrum over and over?
Well that’s kind of the point of this video.
One time I explained to someone that I was autistic and they literally said “oh like Sheldon?”
@@jennycatzzbokii3680 Bruh
@@jennycatzzbokii3680awful! As a kid I always got compared to him but we’re nothing alike in personality, I was just an autistic “boy”
My biggest problem with many autistic characters in media is the lack of empathy and compassion, like, autistic people are often super duper empathetic and/or compassionate. We just have harder times showing or presenting it but when we do find ways to present it you really see how much we can care. For example, I see someone crying I'm probably going to start crying as well because of the high levels of empathy I experience.
oh.... wait. WAIT.
.....shit
I feel you. (Sorry, I couldn't resist)
In high school I often mediated conflicts between my friends, by focussing on the facts and bringing some much needed calm and perspective to bear.
When it's about myself however, that all goes out the window, and it's like I'm a 9 year old again.
@@hansakkerman2611 bro, I'm the exact same. Mediator gang 😂
Yeah, this is sooo true
As an educator, I feel this statement. Prior to us going into lockdown, some of my autistic college students will automatically pick up on the bad day I'm having or if I'm moody.
I was diagnosed in college and as a black woman with autoimmune disabilities. I feel your respect for the asd is amazing. Thank you.
@@TylaGrant I love your vids! Black autistics unite! xd
I love that Abed's special interest is tropes and so he is actually aware of the tropes he himself might inhabit. There's even a scene where he openly mocks and deconstructs the savant trope.
And he gets to DEVELOP. He doesn't stay static, but his autism is still always present. He develops new interests, strengthens some of his social skills, gains independence, and a whole bunch of other things while keeping the same traits, quirks and difficulties. He doesn't get and can't be cured, and more to the point he doesn't want to be. But that doesn't stop him from being able to have the life and relationships he wants in his own way and in his own time.
He's not a burden, nor is he seen as one. His first character-centric episode actually delves into his feelings about being a strain on his parents as he deliberately burdens his friends to recreate his view of his family life, only for everyone, including him, to realise that being intentionally burdonsome to elicit a reaction is not an accurate reflection of reality. Occasionally hurtful things are said about or to him, and you see him internalise it, reject it or confront it, but you always see his view of it, and it's never any more or less weighty than things that are said about and to other characters. And when he's a dick it's because he's being a dick, not because of his autism, and he gets called out on it and takes accountability for it. He's not considered too innocent to know better or unable to not be a dick because of his disorder. Sometimes he's inappropriate and his friends let him know without placing blame, but sometimes he is just a dick, like all humans are.
He's also realistically smart in his fields of interest without being over the top natural genius. It's acquired knowledge not innate, and sometimes he even gets stuff wrong about his special interest and has to wrestle with the unpleasantness of his knowledge being challenged.
(I could also talk about some ADHD traits scattered between Annie and Britta but I'll refrain)
I love love love Abed
In Cooperative Calligraphy when it’s revealed that Abed was tracking Annie, Britta and Shirley’s cycles, it was funny but seemed strangely thoughtful. He really did his best to try to make them have an easier time without making them too uncomfortable.
abed was the first autistic coded tv character i saw myself in and didn’t feel remotely insulted by. plus, i have special interests in TV and other entertainment media so his comparisons just match mine. i wish i’d seen community earlier than i did
@@sidoniegabrielle269 same!! I relate to him not just as an autistic person but as an arab (he is half palestinian and im lebanese.) I also appreciate that they also made him multilingual as opposed to speaking just english cuz "learning difficulties"
Thank you so much for this. I have autism and Community is actually my special interest. Abed is just such an interesting and compelling character :)
My favorite Abed quote: "If you know who you are and what you like about yourself, changing for other people isn't such a big deal."
I LOVE ABED SO MUCH 😭
Dear Hollywood, us autistic people are not a problem for everyone else, stop telling everyone we are. Thx- Sincerely, someone on the spectrum
Seconded. It also bugs me when they basically have autistic people speak in those almost robotic voices.
@@idunnobutyay2520 Exactly, especially when some of us are some of the most sarcastic humans on earth
Other people are a problem to us though lol
Can I stand behind this as a neurotypical sibling of a brother on the spectrum?
@@amedeacatpaw5987 Yes
I'm an autistic woman, and we almost never see representation for us. Any representation in the media about us is usually socially awkward men, who are often ridiculed and used as the butt of jokes. It's really cringey, tbh.
Yes exactly!
Yes this is so true.
Honestly so done with that trope, time to do some spring cleaning!
I haven't really finished watching it but I'm pretty sure Bron (Swedish & Danish criminal series I guess) has quite okay autistic woman character as the main character
YES! Our representation sucks!
I would just like to add the character Entrapta from the renewed She-Ra series, who has been written as and mostly by an autistic person. I've heard a lot of people say she is an accurate representation of someone on the spectrum and though other characters are sometimes annoyed at her, her traits are never portrayed as bad and she is overall just a lovely person. Also the entire show is just filled to the brink with good representation for all kinds of groups (especially poc and lgbt+ people) and I really recommend watching it
I love how Entrapta is written because they clearly show that even though she has a hard time with socialization and she has interests she fixates on, she is one of the most understanding and empathetic characters on the show; that's part of the reason why she doesn't give up on her friends and is able to connect with characters others see as unreachable, like Emily or Hordak. It just flies in the face of the stereotypical "no emotions" thing that so many autistic characters are written with, and I love her and the show so much for it.
YES!
This this this this this, I love She-Ra but Entrapta resonated with me so strongly (I've never been tested or put on the spectrum but I'm severely ADHD and have thought about looking into formal diagnosis more than once) I watched that show for the first time just for her - her character in itself is brilliant and she's written beautifully to me, especially her relationship with Hordak (who is also disabled) and Scorpia (who is never really mentioned to be but I interpret her as extremely ND as well). My one issue with She-Ra is how she is treated outside of that, like Catra is obviously a villain with ulterior motives, she uses everybody, I took no issue with that storyline, but the way the other princesses treated her really upset me. I felt like her arc came so close to having meaningful closure in season five but it got pushed to the wayside with all the prime stuff going on. The ableism was never addressed (and they even put all the pressure on HER to do all the apologizing) and it still bugs me idk. Entrapta herself is great though
Entrapta was the first character I truly felt represented me ever. I am autistic, and ADHD/Dyslexic and I never really felt like media representation spoke 100% to me until I watched She-ra. I was definitely more emotionally involved in her arcs than almost all of the other characters.
@@Kvedvulf SAME, it felt so good to not JUST see her struggles but also her triumphs and happiness too, she was critically important to both the horde AND the rebellion, they seriously never would have won without her and she played a huge role. Fans are randomly split on her pairing with Hordak but personally I love them, and the moment they had in season three where they both unpack their like, internalized ableism and found mutual understanding and respect, I legit cried
You know what we need more of? Autistic characters who are artists! Seriously I'm an autistic artist, and I know quite a few people like myself. Not all autistic people's special interest(s) revolve around STEM topics. I'm an animator, cinematographer, writer, and I also draw a lot. I also am really interested in fantasy, rodents and bugs. Ironically, I'm good at math (got A's) but I don't like doing it as I find it boring! TL/DR, interests of autistic people vary just as much as the interests of neurotypical ones, and we don't all like math!
I didn't love everything about this representation, but Chance in The Promises She Keeps (a book) is an artist. His character leans a bit into the 'magical autistic person' trope, but the author kind of magicifies all of her characters and makes all of them feel alien and strange, regardless of neurotype. He draws trees and his art focuses on negative space and only putting down light/white.
Musician here, I second this
I third this, as an artist and also a piano player
Quinnie from heartbreak high draws and stuff
Right 😊
I love the idea of Ariel being autistic, I've never heard that perspective but it makes SO much sense. I've also heard a lot of theories on Lilo from Lilo & Stitch being on the spectrum and I've never been able to watch it the same since. It explains a lot about why her behaviors in addition to the trauma she's gone through.
at least when it comes to Ariels collecting tendencies.. i relate waaaay too much lol
Disney characters that are autistic imo: Lilo (omg so much), Vanellope, Ariel, Randall from Monsters inc, Russel from UP and honestly...many others
Lilo is precious and I hated when she got bullied! I definitely head canon lilo as autistic 💖
I am not diagnosed with anything related to the spectrum even though I feel like I belong on it, but I definitely related to Ariel as a child and if her characteristics could indeed be viewed as autistic traits but also accepted as normal things, I feel like this could be a big reason why I never felt "different" until later in school. My favorite movie characters always had some similarities to her: being fascinated by how things worked, knowing a lot (or trying to know) about a specific topic, having one or two close friends but being a bit awkward otherwise. To the person who made this observation, I am extremely thankful. I have no idea the best way to go about getting a diagnosis (due to living in the US right now -_- but also I have several other physical issues I am working on treatment for), but this made me feel a bit more... Self aware, less irritated with my own perceived short comings, etc. Not that being different is anything bad, but I'm sure many of us still worry obsessively over being viewed as "annoying" or some other negative word.
Jiirah This was worded very nicely! I love talking with other autistic people over the internet seeing as I don’t know any in real life😄💖
I heard someone say once that "If you know an autistic person, you know one autistic person."
Edit: It's actually "If you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person." Thanks @Zero Richardson
Thank you me and my cousin both have autism although he's High spectrum and I'm low Spectrum. And it's honestly astounding how many times someone has told either one of us that we're not autistic because we don't do this one particular thing a friend of a friend's friend who's autistic does. I kid you not I've been told that because I'm not good at math I must not be autistic🤦🏼♀️. and he's been told that he talks too much for an autistic. at this point thanksgiving's are just the time where we exchange "interesting" stories.
Absolutely true! My brother, my husband, and my daughter are all on the spectrum- as well as several others I know who either are themselves or have family members who are. And none of them have any more in common than anyone neuro typical would really. Each person is affected differently because they’re all different.
This is a popular saying in autism communities. Although it's usually phrased to mirror the "if you've met one, you've met them all" saying, so it goes, "if you've met one autistic person, then you've met one autistic person."
I’ve been in childcare my whole life and have met and interacted with MANY people with autism and I love this saying because of how true it is.
i rushed here asap because, as an autistic person, i absolutely despise the autism representation in media
thank you so much for making this video!!
I feel this feels in my soul
Same. Like I’m all about spreading awareness of the thing we deal with on a daily basis, but they really need to do it better. And I don’t like people who assume a character is autistic by the way they act when it’s never actually mentioned.
same, i can't watch most of it.
ONE OF US!
When good representation is wanted, look in the direction of Mary and Max.
Revisiting this after finding out about Sia’s new movie called “Music”. Disappointing to see how poorly she’s reacting to criticisms on her blatant use of tropes.
"There's already an autistic Muppet" Is a very important phenomenon to me. Some of the best autistic representation in media is accidental. My primary special interest is Transformers, and recently the comics announced there would be a new character introduced as the 'first' autistic Transformer. My immediate reaction was "What??? We already have about 17 autistic Transformers not counting their separate incarnations!"
Not to mention they completely forgot that Transmutate is, in fact, confirmed canonically autistic. Whoopsies.
(That said, Geomotus, the """first""" autistic Transformer did turn out to be a sweetheart and I would give him a no-contact hug).
Yeah, yeah! Like, I'm positive Izuku Midoriya from My Hero Academia (he's the guy in my pfp) is on the autism spectrum! I could tell from the start that he was a lot like me, and I got really attached to him really quickly!
@@andromeda_va39 I got the same vibes from him! Deku has an obvious special interest in heroes with how he can memorise so much information about every single one, his determination and single-mindedness when it comes to focusing on goals, and the way he was singled out socially when he was younger but was able to make friends when in an environment that compliments his special interest (aka the academy). Being autistic-coded is instant grounds for becoming a comfort character.
TRANSFORMERS SPIN GANG OMGOMG
it's been my biggest interest since i was maybe 2?
@@mammoneymelon HI FELLOW TRANSFORMERS FAN!!! We are friends now, them's the rules. Who are your favourite giant alien robots?
YOO transformers was my first ever spin!!
A lovely video! As an autistic person, the "autistic savant" trope really upsets me because it sort of suggests that I am *supposed* to have something I'm a savant at, especially if I want to be useful to society. I am an actually autistic human being who needs lots of help with some things and not so much with some others. I am selectively mute, have lots of sensory issues, and will never be able to be fully independant. None of this makes me any less important and useful to society; friends have told me that my unique perspective and way of communicating brings them a lot of joy. I don't need to be a savant to have a whole lot of value and neither does anyone else.
Servitude doesn't determine our wealth! If I'm an inconvenience because of something I can't control, I can't do anything. If I'm dependent, I'm still a human being and my worth isn't based off of that! Remember that you are still worthy of humanity and respect
You are totally valid! Having the only representation be practically superhuman is super toxic.
You make the world a better place just by being in it 👍
Rosie Cooper I relate to this so so so much. As an autistic person who struggles with being able to function, I often feel I have nothing to contribute and I don’t have any ‘special gifts’ . I’m mostly just an anxious mess
I had a theraphy focusing on like accepting and learning what autism and adhd is. (Because panic attacks at the word)
And well. What they gave as examples of being successful were einstein and this really annoying adhd comedian.
To an 11 year old girl, that sucked at maths, bullied and laughed at all her life, and knew einstein didn't have freaking friends. A girl that just wanted to be normal.
That theraphy is also part of why therapies. Eventho I've been in them for like 9 years. And just talking about my diagnosis or problems in a professional causes me to just cry and go back to that place. It was kinda traumatic. A year long. An hour a week (I think. Maybe it was half an hour) just crying and like on the verge of full blown panic attack or meltdown. (Still don't really know the difference. Never diagnosed with an anxiety disorder or depression. Eventho been suicidal and like being a depressed 8 year old was the reason my parents fought for a diagnosis given the school really didn't like feel the need to given not disruptive).
That trope was like in actual therapy and it was actually traumatic.
As a general rule, I've found that headcanons about minoritized identities are almost always better than canon characters explicitly written to be those minoritized identities, with the only real exception being characters written by minorities and for minorities. I've found some really good portrayals of autism in fanfiction. Many fics don't actually explicitly say in the text that the character is autistic because their diagnosis isn't in any way the focus of the story, but rather leaves that information in the tags and just writes the character as a character who just happens to have autism.
Same with the fanfic thing. I even read a The Untamed fanfic where the lwriter didn't even say the character had ADHD but was written so clearly ADHD that either the writer intended him to be, or is ADHD themselves and doesn't realise , which was amazing but also a little weird not knowing if it was deliberate
I think it's because a lot of intentional portrayals of autism by non-autistic writers seem to go off a checklist of behaviors, and more often than not those symptom lists are written from an allistic point of view. Whereas good writers think of characterization in terms of the character's internal experiences and motivations, which allows for both more realistic and more compassionate writing. There's a lot of characters out there who could easily be diagnosed with something even though the author never intended to write a disorder, because what do you know, thinking about how your character thinks makes for a more realistically written person.
That seems to be the case and I find it really frustrating haha. I think Legosi from Beastars is literally the perfect representation of both the struggles and strengths I have, but it’s non-cannon. Still if I had to point to one character as a representation of my different way of thinking and experiencing the world I would point there.
This! It was never intended but Aziraphale from good omens is absolutely autistic in my eyes and its a shame it's not canon but a lot of fan creations portray him that way and i think its really sweet. It's taught me alot about myself.
I hope I can do this well, because in a book I'm working on, every major character has some sort of generally poorly represented or under-represented neurodivergency, and while I have experience with about half of them myself, I'm always a little worried I'm going to fuck something up in the ones I don't have experience with, like bipolar, shizoaffective, PTSD, dyslexia, tourettes, BPD, synesthesia, OCD, OCPD, etc. etc. etc. I just wish I knew people that have these things so I can check in with them to get an idea of what it's like. Some of the ones I'm including that I'm more confident in being able to portray properly are autism, anxiety, depression, cPTSD, dyspraxia, traumagenic plurality, and endogenic plurality, mostly because I have actual experience with them.
One thing about our perceived lack of empathy, where we are seen as "cold and calculating" is that, at least in my smal autistic circle, we tend to focus on "problem solving", rather than being a "feelings mirror". Being a "feelings mirror" is something I CAN be, but it's not something I do automatically, and I have to actively fight slipping back into "problem solving"-mode.
What I mean by this is, when, say, my boyfriend comes to me and vents frustration about something, I don't try to validate and comfort feelings, because, I don't want my boyfriend to be frustrated and hurt, so I try to figure out a way to get him out of that situation, because I want very much for my boyfriend to be happy. Thing is, when I'm processing a complex situation looking for solutions, I don't have the capacity to ALSO be emoteful myself (emoting is kinda hard tbh), so, when my brain runs into "missing information to assess situation" things, i ask a question, and once I have enough information to have a candidate idea for I present it. From the outside, this looks like my boyfriend came to me and said something very emotionally charged, and I just … started asking questions with not much emoting, and then suggest a course of action. And this is seen as "cold and uncaring", while, internally, I'm DESPRERATELY trying to help someone I love, I just... can't stand to see them hurting, so I drop anything and everything I'm doing to try and help them out, in the way I feel is the most effective way of helping out. I've gotten so engrossed in things like this I've missed half a workday, I've gotten so engrossed in things like these I miss my stop on trains and have to get off and go back the other way for a few stops. This takes over my mind completely. But it doesn't look like it, because neurotypical people, when something takes over their mind completely, they emote something, hard. But when I get completely engrossed, I stop emoting altogether.
We're getting better at this, me and my boyfriend. He can tell me, explicitly, "I'm not looking for problem solving" and then I know, and I've been able to at least mark situations as something potentially being a "I just need to vent" situation, and ask whether he wants me to problem solve or be a feels mirror.
Oh gosh. I'm the exact same way. My natural inclination is to try and find a solution. And I have to force myself to not do that and just let a friend vent. I feel like I should be trying to help. And intellectually I know that I am helping just by giving them a place to get their feelings out, but it doesn't feel like it.
I feel the exact the exact the same way about my relationships between my family and friends. I do this with my best friend quite often because it helps her process what she's going through in life but also helps me understand the situation at hand. With my family, on the other hand, I try to diffuse tension with witty banter and humor and within minutes everyone is either laughing or smiling because they feel so much better.
I've only had one romantic relationship in the past, and that's the way I felt when trying to get my ex to calm down and think things through rather than get all worked up over nothing. While at the same time trying to help him feel better about what was bothering him at the time.
I'm just glad that you and you're boyfriend are working things out and I hope the two of you stay for many years to come 😊👍.
This. This is what should be shown in media more often. How Autistic people are often more helpful and in tuned with what loved ones go through. I see this with friends and students often.❤
Oh my god, I felt like crying reading this. I struggle with this so much, to a horrible extent it’s frustrating. This happens often to me (I’m not diagnosed with ASD but I’ve been researching extensively on autism and think I may be autistic) and it makes it difficult for me to be there for my friends during difficult situations.
Yeah I may or may not be neurotypical (thinking of checking with a doctor finally this year at age 27), but I've certainly learned over time that sometimes I need to be a feelings mirror and sometimes not. And sometimes no matter what I do my friends will still go through problems. But even today, after learning how to respond different ways, I still don't instinctively know what response someone wants or needs.
As a side note, hasn't there been some research showing that men tend to do the problem solving approach vs. being a feelings mirror (I like your terminology)? Or maybe that was just some sensational nonsense I had heard.
also!! while abed is presented as a little bit cold, he clearly cares SO much about his friends and family (especially troy) and shows it fairly often! plus, he's not white or obsessed with a STEM thing, which is cool :)
He’s probably my favorite community character!
Cool cool cool
Abed’s one of my favourite characters of all time and I don’t think I’ve ever related more to anyone on screen! Of course, not everyone on the spectrum will identify with him but I certainly did :)
This is so true! I love Abed.
Plus while they do show him struggling with certain things he is largely in complete control of himself and his own space. He isn't portrayed as a burden or incapable and is just as involved as everyone else with the hijinks and is usually at the center of it. While his friends do call him out if he is rude or goes to far he isn't othered at all by them and is an essential and never questioned part of their friendship group.
things I love about Abed include but are not limited to: he’s not shown as apathetic or a jerk, he has a lot of emotions and cares deeply for his friends, the way he shows it is just different than the way most people would show it. He’s never depicted as a burden, he’s a part of the group like all the others. He has no interest in being normal and likes himself the way he is. He’s interested in romantic and sexual pursuits, which is something I feel like I barely see, especially with the whole manchild trope. He’s a multidimensional character with fears and wants and a sense of humor just like everyone else, who is not inferior to anyone else. He’s valued by his friends, and whenever characters try to baby him, the joke is on them for assuming he needs it.
Abed was the reason I went to talk to a doctor about autism, actually, because his character clicked for me in a way no other character had. I never considered that I could be autistic, since all the portrayals I had seen until then showed autistic people as completely heartless. Representation matters. I’ll have to check out the other shows in the good category. This was a great video, and you’ve earned yourself another subscriber!
i remember watching the show as it aired and relating so much to Abed in a way i hadn't related to many other fictional characters before. in addition to the characteristics you've mentioned, i also loved that he would always view the world through the perspective of what he saw in movies and tv. this is something that i do myself, one of the strongest reasons i related to him, and it shows a framework for communicating with him. there are definitely times where the other characters realize they need to translate what they're trying to say to Abed through the pop culture filter to get the message across to him. it's not just something that makes him weird or different, his friends actually embrace and use Abed's methods of communicating.
sure, sometimes they get annoyed by it but it felt to me like how you can get annoyed by anything your friends do lol part of the whole concept of the show is that each of the main characters is a bit weird in their own ways, they all have parts of their personality that hold them back in certain situations and cause them to clash with others from time to time. in the end, they all accept each other... well maybe with the exception of Pierce but that's a different topic :P
I definitely agree with this analysis, and I'm so glad his character clicked for you!
As an autistic woman, I totally agree. Another aspect I love is how he uses pop culture, tropes and such to understand the world around him. One of my special interests is media (like movies, anime, tv shows, etc) and analysis about those subjects, so I tend to do the same thing as well. Abed doing that was very relatable.
Agreed! I've just finished season 1 of Community, and in episode (3?) of season 1, we're clearly shown that although he may lack obvious empathy, he is willing to sit in a room for 27 hours and miss out on a special interest activity just because a friend asked him to.
Troy and Abed in the Morning 🌅
"Unless you're ace"
Since that's a spectrum too, there may be ace people who do feel rejection pain through edietic memory. It's just not _sexual_ rejection, it's friendship rejection, or romantic rejection.
Thanks for the representation in your video though! :)
I both felt seen and not by that xD Like, I can form romantic attachments to people, and when I do they might never be sexual. Rejections always hurts tho.
@@MiotaLee I also felt seen/not seen by that comment, because the situation she provided was a romantic one. As a person who is aromantic but not asexual, the comment was misguided but appreciated.
There’s a huge difference between ace and aro!!
@Miro Kai i think she just mixed up aro and ace bc a lot of people do that. If she hadn't mixed it up it pretty much would have been accurate. I think she just wanted to show that she remembers not evryone will relate to that scenario, altho tbh its not like it will only be aro people anyways, some ppl might just not care bout rejections.
I was diagnosed at 16, and was only diagnosed because I was seeing an psychiatrist who happened to have autism and she picked up on things that no one has ever. Did tests and everything, and was formally diagnosed. No one ever suspected it, every teacher and adult just thought I was a ‘bright young lady’ and ‘obsessed with shows and characters like every teen girl’
I'm autistic, and I certainly don't have a lack of empathy, quite the opposite, at times empathy is just too hard to handle, so I myself sometimes have to close myself off, because it'd be hard to handle all the incoming feelings.
I’m exactly the same way!
Wow, similar to mine, i have empathy to a certain extent. Extreme empathy to some people yet to some i have a lack of empthy ...let alome sympathy. And this often causes me frustration cuz i feel somethijngbis missing and wrong with me ...
I loved Entrapta in She-Ra because her character was both autistic and extremely emphatic, even towards the head villain of the show for the first 4 seasons. As an Aspie myself, she’s top tier representation.
I wish, I have little to no empathy at all. I’ve lost so many friends over it because I’m a bit of a dick when it comes to supporting them. Although my best friend is autistic and is over empathetic! We balance eachother out (:
The deepfried friends and that’s okay! My brother has the same issue but his is with sound and reading comprehension
also! A new character that probably wasn't even out at the time of making this video is Harlan from season 2 of The Umbrella Academy. He shows many traits such as, being non-verbal, special interests, and is shown having a meltdown during one episode. I'd also like to mention that, although important to the plot, he is not a main character, which is a refreshing change actually. It is never explicitly stated that he has autism, however, this is logical as this part of the show is set in the 1960's so it's unlikely his parents or doctors are even aware of the condition. Though Ellen Page's character, Vanya, at one point, in reference to going to the future, "He'll be okay, they have a name for people like him there." which I think is enough explanation, it would seem out of place otherwise. I highly recommend the show as it also tackles the effects of childhood neglect, toxic relationships, among other things!
Edit: It's basically confirmed he is autistic, just never stated
also, I've just learned that one of the actors, Tom Hopper (who plays Luther) has an autistic son!
After 10 minutes of watching Harlan i felt i could understand what he was doing and why. It was really nice to see a "human" representation of autism, stimming and all.
i'm not autistic but i connected with harlan almost immediately due to having depression and anxiety (i get the meltdowns and heightened anxiety and such)
it was nice to have a neurodivergent character that wasn't labeled as crazy or weird
i just wrote a comment about this but i think it's so important to have autistic (or autistic-coded) characters shown throughout history! people think autism is a brand-new thing that never existed prior to the last few decades, which can fuel some harmful rhetoric. it's important to show that that's not the case!
Yes!!! I love love love TUA and as an autistic kid I loved Harlan him and Sissy remind me of my mom and I :D
Thank you for the opportunity to be in this video Jessica. This is an amazing piece of work, so many people are going to learn from this. I am proud to be a part of it:D Regarding dyspraxia (I see this mentioned in comments), I got diagnosed age two and a half with autism. But at aged 15, an Ed psych assessment said that my primary diagnosis should be dyspraxia. So to pick up on the point below there are so many crossovers between these two conditions. For me, I have huge problems with processing (0.01 mental processing speed), so even trying to record for this video, it took a long time as I can't retain words in my mind that I want to say out loud. I've always bee very proud of my autism actually, it's made life different but in a good way:D
All the best, MiffedLuke/MiffedCrew
Thank you so much for being part of the video Luke! ❤️
That sucks not being able to retain words long enough to order and say them. I've had that problems only under certain circumstances (I'm autistic but don't normally have that problem) and it was very frustrating.
@@jessicaoutofthecloset
Writing you this way because it's quite important, the "Theory of Mind" hypothesis actually describes how autistic people are supposedly unable to understand that other people have their own feelings, opinions,viewpoints and such, not "just" that they may have difficulty with Neurotypical expressions, something that's both extremely ableist and extremely inaccurate.
It mostly resulted from using ableist presumption as extreme as...well, most people "studying" autism, taking a very tiny handful of children, most of who had difficulties understanding speech, and doing the Sally-Ann test.
Two dolls are in a room, both have boxes in front of them, one (Sally) has a marble which she puts in the box before leaving the room, the other (Ann) then takes the marble and puts it in her box.
The question is, where will Sally first look for the marble (or EXPECT the marble to be, depending on the phrasing, which already brings up problems).
Now, this both fails to account for not really understanding the instructions, not being able to answer well or, something that has at least anecdotal evidence, thinking outside of the scope the researchers want or expect children to think it (ie: Considerign that Sally may have been testing Ann to see if she'd do such a thing, that she may have asked Ann to take the marble which, as no other communication was shown, may be a okay assumption...).
psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2019-75285-001.html
A character I personally headcanon as autistic is Newt Scamander from the Fantastic Beast movies. He has an extremely strong interest in animals, and holds a preference for their company over other humans, bluntness in conversation, high empathy with difficulty expressing emotions to others, shyness, mannerisms/behaviour which is generally considered weird, etc. I’ve always highly related to him, and have been curious if any other autistic people related to him too, definitely made me seen far more then most other depictions. :)
“Self diagnosing is often needed and valid for people in a variety of different marginalized communities who don’t have access to expensive healthcare or suffer from gate-keeping” 👏🏻
thank you for saying this!!! I wish I’d known this years ago! And I hope more people here it from here on out 💛
I agree, it has benefits on the process of identifying your own struggles and traits and to know that you are not the only one and get rid of that inner shame... in the beginning. However, it can be dangerous if that doesn’t lead to a professional diagnosis later, or if it leads someone to self medicate without consulting someone else knowledgeable on the topic. There can be something else happening
self diagnosis is often needed? im sorry but this is not true, you can't diagnose yourself if you aren't a doctor, sure you can think maybe i have this but making a diagnosis? without fundamental studies? and how will you know how to do the treatment?sounds silly to me. I'm sorry, i know many people don't have accessibility and is injustice , but for me, making self diagnosis is irresponsable because you don't have the experience nor the knowledge. Sorry if this sound awful but i think thi is a bad idea
is my opinion so don't take it seriously
Mugiwarafan I respect your opinion, and I’m glad that you never encountered a disease that has no treatment. if you’re interested a really good resource is the documentary UNREST on Netflix
@@mugiwarafan2687 You can't diagnose yourself like to self medicate or something, but you can suspect something is wrong and then go to the doctor.
It would be perfect if schools or jobs helped reporting things, but we know that doesn't happen often.
@@mugiwarafan2687 While I agree that you can't officially diagnose yourself with anything, I do think that a sort of "self-diagnosis" has a place.
Like I once attempted to get tested for autism and was shot down by my doctor...because I can talk. And make eye contact. There aren't exactly a whole bunch of doctors in my area, so I kinda just gave up and tell people I'm probably autistic. It helps me explain to others why I struggle with certain things and find coping mechanisms that help me.
This was so refreshing! I'm autistic and was undiagnosed for so long because, in part, I'm highly empathetic and I don't have any "specific" interests. The commonplace view of autism being a "boy genius who is blunt and can't communicate" is so damaging. I really felt like a part of me was fully seen and acknowledged with this video, thank you. 😊
That’s awesome! So glad you felt included. ASD is truly a spectrum and there’s space for everyone to be seen 😊
@@alexe7012 Thank you, and I fully agree! For so long in some ways its been that you had to be a "certain type of autistic" to be acknowledged as such, which is also so damaging. It's great to see different parts of the spectrum be included in a video like this. 👍🏻
Me too. I had to fight for a diagnosis because I don't have an obsession with one specific topic and because I use and understand sarcasm. People (even psychiatrists!) need to understand that you can be autistic without ticking every single box on the list.
@@mistyminnie5922 Exactly. A few times I've been told I don't "come across as autistic", which is so insulting, and what they actually mean is "I don't fit their limited understanding of autism". Hopefully that's beginning to change with resources/discussions like this video! (PS, hope you were able to get your diagnosis!)
@@Lee-ey2mu Thank you! I did manage to get the diagnosis of "mild autism" whatever that means, but I couldn't be happier :)
The fifth type of autistic character: the literally inhuman... It sure is cool the way you gave that (android/alien/faerie etc.) basically all the traits of autism, and then made their whole subplot focus on the fear that they'll never understand what it's like to feel emotions, or love, or be truly human...
Is the use of the term "cool" sarcasm?
I think there are good examples of representation even in this stereotype, for example Data from TNG fits into this and is an excellent well rounded character that breaks the “lack of empathy” stereotype and has multiple facets to his characterization. I’m only halfway through the video so idk if he is brought up
literally all the characters I ID with in star trek except bashir sygfdhf
@@jasongretencord3326 @The Dire Tarrasque yes, sorry, should have been clearer. I mean, I think it is genuinely cool to explore the idea of empathy and whether it's innate or learnt (as an autistic person who has conciously contructed their moral rules), but i was being sarcastic in the original comment because i don't think the attitude most writers use to approach the topic is cool
I could see Anya from Buffy fitting this.
I really quickly want to thank whoever wrote the captions (whether it was Jessica herself or someone else) for adding the exclamation point in parentheses whenever sarcasm is used. As someone who is autistic myself and honestly struggles with sarcasm in general, the little things go a long way. It was really helpful, and I just wanted to say thank you!!
Same, I'm very bad at sarcasm most of the time, luckily (or unluckily) my family is very sarcasm driven, so I've sorta picked up on the "tone" but if you mix up that tone AT ALL, I lose the sarcasm immediately
completely unrelated to your comment, but yayyy another plural system in the wild!! (or at least that's what I assume based on your username)
love when we randomly see systems in random non-plural spaces
@@Phiwipuss you're correct!! I'm glad to see you in the wild as well lol, it's hard to find fellow systems out here, nice to meet you!!
The trope that we are unfeeling is awful. When there was a little boy who was murdered in my town, I was depressed, and cried for weeks. That Grey's Anatomy take was a really bad one.
I’m sorry, that’s awful. :(
Yeah, if anything, my feelings of empathy can be overwhelming. If I make somebody feel bad, even in a minor way, that haunts me for a very long time. It's hard to handle all the suffering and death in the news. 9/11 absolutely broke me.
Yes, that trope is so harmful and never made sense to me. I'm autistic, but extremely empathetic. I grew up around a lot of animals and my family had cows. I came across a video of a slaughter house when I was 9 and immediately refused to eat meat ever again. I just could not imagine the suffering the poor creatures in that video felt and could not bear to be apart of it.
My grandfather still is in the cattle business today and we're from very rural WV, hunting and fishing is almost a religion here. My family thought it was a phase, even tried to cook non-vegetarian food for a couple days, but I have been vegetarian for 14 years now and vegan for 3.
A few years back a woman my mom knew lost her young daughter. The little girl walked outside while her mom thought she was taking a nap, fell in the pool, and drowned. I still cry about it to this day if I think about it. I cannot begin to imagine how it felt to be in that woman's shoes in the moment she found her daughter like that.
I feel most of the autistic people I know, including myself, tend to be empathic, almost to a traumatising degree in some cases. My guess is that maybe it's a result of spending my entire life mentally putting myself in others shoes so I could try to better understand their emotions, figures of speech, sarcasm ect.
Exactly I despise that trope. If anything I'd say I'm hypersensitive and struggle with overwhelming feelings. The idea I've upset or hurt someone will haunt me for ages and creates alot of anxiety I have to deal with on every interaction I have
@Levi Tooker. Same here.
I am actually of the Autistics that likes Atypical. The reason I liked it so much was because I actually did see some of me represented in him. There are A LOT of things the show gets wrong, but I did really enjoy it. Although admittedly my initial joy was that he was obsessed with penguins. Something I spent much of my childhood obsessed with. The fact that it WASN'T trains made me so damn happy. Also the fact that him trying to date was so awkward, because it was for me. I said so many cringey things that I truly thought were appropriate to say because I was immulating.
The 2 big things I liked though are actually around his looking for a girlfriend.... and his mom. The reason I liked this so much was because it showed that Autistics CAN and DO have sex and desire it. So much online makes it seem like Autistics will never be in a relationship and that we don't desire sex. The fact that he is also so empathetic a lot of the time made me happy. So many Autistics are represented as emotionless.
Now the mom... Whoa.... she was.... infuriating. BUT she has a great impact on the show in that this...mom...exists... The moms that make their entire identity wrapped around their Autistic or disabled child. To the point that they won't let that child live. While her character is easily hateable for me (I don't know if she ever redeemed herself in season 2 as I never got the chance to watch it). Having her character was a new take on how parents are shown on tv. She wasn't the parent who was shown as the saint for being the parent of an Autistic kid. She was the parent who gets so damn wrapped up in her kid she won't let them live their life. She tries to prevent him from leaving his comfort zone which is what a sadly large number of "Autism Moms" do. She tries to keep him in this little box that SHE made for him and loses her damn mind when he doesn't stay in it.
It was just really refreshing for me to see a show with an Autistic that didn't make the parents out to be the patron saint's rolled up into 2 people as they are obviously angels for dealing with their horrible burden of a child. The dad was actually my favorite character in season 1 because when he finds a way to meaningfully connect with Sam, he does and doesn't try to box him in.
I will not say the show is perfect. There are quite a few problematic moments in the show, however there are a fair few things I enjoyed about it and it's one of the few shows where I saw the slimmest of representations of myself in media.
Me too. And it really helped my partner to understand myself AND himself better!
i am not autistic, but watching the show i was bothered by how his girlfriend treats him, kind of like a token if that makes sense? like she was proud of herself for having an autistic s/o. however, i do appreciate the fact that he was with someone who understood what autism was and how it worked and didn’t break up with him when his autism became ‘inconvenient’ for her. i completely agree that the mother seemed to be written as a bad character on purpose
the first season was bad. the second was super cute.
My mom was his mom twin
agree, im an autistic girl, but i saw alot of both myself and my brother in Sam and especially his relationships with the people around him. The show isn't perfect, but it was good, and I liked the representation that showed how there are both positives and negatives to being autistic in a NT society, but at the end of the day, are still people who want people things.
I don’t like Big Bang Theory. It made me insecure in how i come across to others i don’t want to be hated or laught at for not getting the social cues. not to mention i find the show to be pretty sexist and racist.
It’s also just a garbage show.
Conversely, I enjoyed the show and Sheldon's character. He portrayed symptoms that are shared with other disorders and allowed me to laugh at some of my own issues as well as remind me on occasion of issues I need to work on a bit.
And it only makes jokes about nerd culture, not jokes that nerds would actually make. So overall, it's badly representing EVERYTHING
The Big Bang Theory is SO sexist. So much so that when they tried to solve their Smurfette problem it actually made the whole thing worse 🤦🏻♀️
@@franboos And? I'm a nerd, but I can laugh at myself. What, it's okay to laugh at everything else but not at affects you?
It makes me so so happy to watch a non-autistic person show so much acceptance, respect and love towards the autistic community in this video :))) thank you.
For anyone wanting to learn more about expression of autism in women/gender diverse people, I really recommend watching Hannah Gadsby's 'Nanette' and 'Douglas', they are also wildly successful stand up comedies, and awfully life changing, so you would be doing yourself a disservice to not watch them!
Warning: keep tissues on hand🤧 Nanette made me sob
Nanette just made me feel. And I’d known Gadsby before from her panel appearances. But ya, so many feels.
Empathy isn’t just a single thing. It’s a combination. There’s cognitive empathy - knowing how to interpret people’s words or expressions, knowing what they are thinking and how they will react socially. Then there’s affective empathy - feeling along with the people you care about, being happy when they’re happy or sad when they’re sad, and hating the idea of them suffering.
Many autistic people have good affective empathy, but struggle with cognitive empathy. My autistic husband, for instance, cares more deeply about other people’s well-being than most neurotypical people I know, but has trouble getting into other people’s headspaces and understanding what they are thinking or feeling and why. It’s actually kind of the opposite of the cold and uncaring stereotype.
That's a really interesting point. I've just been diagnosed with ASD, aged 16, and I flew under the radar so much because I'm a good student and show affective empathy. In honesty, I didn't even know there were different types of empathy. And because the empathy confusion is the main reason I was never picked up, I think it's important I educate myself more on it. Thanks for explaining it a little!
Oh, my. This... This struck me, ngl. I've known I belong to the ASD community for a year now, and I was so confused. My therapist said I was empathic, my sister, classmates and other peers think I'm "heartless", because I just can't understand. I console them, I try to help, but I just can't understand why they feel like that... And, this makes so much sense. Woah. I had seriously been doubting myself from even being a good person, but this is making me reconsider. Woah. Thank you!!!!
I’m really glad this is helpful!
I have trouble with cognitive empathy. I’m told that I’m very empathetic/sympathetic and warm as the sun but I sometimes have trouble interpreting others emotions. I will often ask someone exactly how they are feeling. I’m very maternal in that way.
That's it! I always get so frustrated when people tell me that people with autism don't feel empathy, because I feel lots of empathy! I just don't know how to deal with it appropriately. I can sense people's emotions just fine, I just have a harder time understanding where it comes from and how to respond.
Though everyone is different, when people are like "oh austic people are really smart." And then you have me who feels invalid because I'm not the brightest crayon.
I'm pretty much the smrt autistic person. Yes I'm actually autistic.
My mom literally thought i wasn't autistic for my whole life because I "was only different and incapable of connection because I was smarter than the other kids." Nevermind all the fucking other signs lol. Recently diagnosed officially and damn it feels good.
With me it was the opposite: I've heard there's no way I can be autistic because I'm smart, and autistic people usually have learning impairments
@@smig2801 Yeah, my mom says, "i thought you were different from the other kids because you were so much smarter." Nope I was autistic.
Pssssst I have a secret to tell you...
You are 100% valid
"That was sarcasm." - I'm autistic and this put a huge smile on my face. Gosh, I'd love for people to turn to me and say "that was sarcasm" more often in real life! My spouse does, thankfully!
I don't have official diagnosis still, because i am "too normal to be autistic" in Russia. I am "just" introverted, socially awkward person with sensory system issues, anxiety and special interests. "Autism? It's for children, you are too old to have it, besides you talk to me just fine!"
Omg, friends son is neurotypical because he can read a book (??!)
I was not depressed because I read a newspaper regularly (I didnt, never have, couldnt but thats not the point) Oh, and no chronic fatigue, had I considered I was just lazy? Medical professionals are flipping terrifying. I truly recommend, if you want a diagnosis, exhibiting the specific traits in an interview/appointment whatever and sticking to your goal, good luck!
Bloody same, just in America... Being AFAB doesn't help... Had a former teacher flat tell me matter-of-factly "oh, you're autistic too" (20~ years too late) after handling my diagnosed brother, and you know having learned girls can have it too...
I had a similar case when I was kid, because girls on the spectrum weren't even heard of back then. Instead I was misdiagnosed with non-verbal learning. Trouble is the spectrum covers mainly traits in men, as Hans Asperger only studied boys.
Same. 100% Same. Even when I pour my heart out on the internet, this is what I get: "oh, you just have social anxiety!" except I don't have social anxiety * at all* when I 100% know what Is ging to be said and done and can prepare for it (example: I don't have any problem whatsover having a standardized conversation asking for help in a shop) with autism, I pretty much relate with 90% of it. But I am just an introverted girl with 'random' social anxiety and awkwardness who is always bothered by sound and wnats to learn how to make corsets.
This is why I have a hard time believing basically any statistics about autistic people. Those statistics are missing a good deal, possibly even a majority of actual autistic people because of the ridiculous gatekeeping. I wasn’t diagnosed as a kid because I had good grades and friends, I suppose I wasn’t suffering enough for the liking of the experts. It’s been a massive struggle to find one place in my state that will diagnose an adult. It’s awful but it’s hopefully breaking down, and those terrible stats can’t be used to justify cure movements or stripping us of agency anymore.
As a woman who has autism a lot of loud souds, or too many noises while trying to work or do something is extremely distracting and I often forget what I was doing and if it was important people oftentimes get very angry.
Yeah I know the feeling.
Same. My job involves a lot of what you mentioned in your comment & my brain just can't anymore so I'm moving to a new department.
It's my main meltdown enabler
The main room in my office has two radios working on different sides of the room, each with a different station on. Lucky I only rarely have to go in there. I don't know if I have autism, but if anything could give me a meltdown it would be that. I don't understand how a dozen people can stand it eight hours each day.
The tweet from Ali at home was so intensely validating I cried. The Little Mermaid was my favourite movie when I was 4 and I remember pretending to have an imaginary friend because I heard it was normal to have one and I desperately wanted to be like other kids. I can't easily imagine or see things in my head, that's why I could only pretend, and I named her Ariel.
This is so relatable. I too pretended to have an imaginary friend to mimic what I thought other kids were like. Her name was Suzy and she always let me win at board games.
I did the same thing too! I had a lot of imaginary animals, but I just didn’t see the appeal of imaginary friends. I saw lots of kids in media have them so I thought I would try it lol.
Wait, I did this too 😅
I did this too aaaaaaaaaaaa
Lol, I actually had an imaginary friend for the opposite reasons, no one else I knew had one and I had(and have)trouble befriending others, so I just made one.
To be fair, I daydream a lot and she was also part of one of my stories sooo that may have played a part
I was watching a Chinese drama the other day and it was introduced that the main love interest had autism. He was a man, but it was a short, good backstory of the realistic struggles he has growing up and went straight back to him. They didn't make it his whole character or obvious at all and the only sign of it was that he loved music and occasionally didn't understand some things. Overall he was just a main character with an awesome personality who happened to have autism, and I loved the way the writers made it so normal, it was a breath of fresh air.
Show name?
Give us the name!!! (please)
How media can be harmful: about 4 years before I myself was diagnosed with autism, a friend was discussing with me the possibility that she was autistic and I said that that couldn't be because autistic people are bad at socialising and she had a lot of friends so it couldn't be that.... Yeah let's just say that I still hate myself for being like that back then and really happy that I've since grown as a person.
Oh god, I remember a similar experience I had. I was telling my dad about how my psychologist had mentioned that I had possible signs of ADD or ADHD and dad just said "well, you're not stupid, and you're great in school" as a reason for why that diagnosis would not fit me. Just, fuck...
@@haichie1341 Literally JUST had that conversation with my dad lmao, psychiatrist said a high possibility of ADHD and Asbergers and my dad argued that that's their go to diagnosis for everything and that I couldn't possibly be those since I get As in school.
Reminds me of the time I said to someone that I’m an introvert with social anxiety and they said that I’m not because I was able to have a conversation with them. Like thanks I already have so much self doubt, why don’t you random classmate diagnose me.
i had exactly the same thing, the girl that told me has adhd and she told me that fixing this vitamin deficiency would cure her adhd????? and when i told her that if it does she got a misdiagnosis she said that i dont know anything about adhd and that its just "not being able to concentrate and being hyper" ??????????
My uncle is a doctor and literary read the papers and conclusions from my doctors and still claimed that I did not have problems with my working memory.
One of my trans friends who is autistic is participating in a research project that is looking into the correlation between autism and being transgender. There is a yet un-researched correlation between the two with a large number of transgender people being on the spectrum.
I don't know very much about it but I think it is really cool that it is something that is being looked into especially as representation of autistic people is cisgender, straight, white people.
Edit: I also feel extremely validated by "unless you're ace, then nicely swerved"
Altoid Bazingá
Fucking mood. All the same shit except my brain was like, boy? Nah. Girl? Nah. What ever the fuck the pile of goop my gender is? Yeah.
I've found that Autistic people have a high rate of being LGBTQIA+ in general. My theory is that since we have to self-examine and question ourselves and our perceptions so much, we have a higher rate of realising that we aren't cis/het, shrugging in acceptance, and research-binging to figure out how to incorporate this new information.
For myself, I'm Panromantic Asexual. I figured out fairly early that gender wasn't necessarily a factor in who I was attracted to, and that I was impatient and uninterested in my peers' seeming obsession with sex. My only real requirement is shared interest and personal compatibility, and preferably also Ace, or at least Poly and ok with sex being a thing that will never happen involving me.
@@natasjarose1321 I've been thinking about that a lot too, and that's been EXACTLY my theory as well! (Bi enby here btw, hi!)
I've thought that it may be because autistic people may not particularly understand why social norms like gender roles/expressing the "correct" ones according to your assigned gender is so important to everyone else and simply live freely and express themselves however they like. That especially explains it for me when nonbinary people are autistic. Just my perspective, sorry if I misunderstood anything about autism in this comment.
I'm certain that researchers will find some correlation. Sarah Hendricks, who's a stand-up comedian, and also on the spectrum, explains how she personally relates to that theory - her video is long but often very funny! ruclips.net/video/diE7f6CKj6c/видео.html. Tony Atwood, a leading expert in ASD, also sees a correlation: ruclips.net/video/LuZFThlOiJI/видео.html. Hope that research project your friend participates in gets the publicity it deserves.
Watching Umbrella Academy season 2, I was so scared that Harlan was going to be "cured" after his connection with Vanya, and then I would have to hate it.
Me too! I was watching with my mom, and when Vanya saved him from her powers, I said something like "if he starts talking now I'm going to riot." And my mom didn't get it at all but it meant a lot that they didn't go there.
On an unrelated note, it seems like the writers or whoever gave Elliot Page an awesome place to explore transitioning without actually coming out yet. Super interesting to me now that he has come out.
@@tanner1548 the creator of the show (and the comics it was based on), Gerard Way, has been a gnc icon for decades. Not surprised if they had something to do with it.
@@tatltails3923 TIL about Gerard Way and the term GNC :D :D :D And I couldn't be more pleased! Thanks for that!
I was worried about that too! I mean, how things went wasn't great, but I'm so glad they didn't "cure" him. That would've been dumb.
"that was sarcasm"
perfect
I loved it
and it's the perfect video to feature this funny side-camera break
22:22 I think you meant aromantic here, rather than ace - I can vouch for the fact that lots of asexual people will have experienced this feeling!
Agreed! And as someone who is def ace and probably aro this still bounced for me. I've definitely still pursued romantic relationships because life is confusing and also Societal Expectations. Rejection is still embarrassing even if you were pursuing a thing that you wouldn't actually want long term.
Although it seems a lot of ace folks in comments appreciated the shout out and lord knows I enjoy when people acknowledge we exist.
@@angelal8829 I agree it's great to have asexuality mentioned, goodness knows we need the visibility! I love that Jessica is so inclusive, eg featuring us in her video about what not to say to an LGBTQ+ person (so good, definitely recommend!). But at the same time the comment reinforces a common misconception, and also misses out on the chance to give some love and visibility to aro peeps too!
@@heartsopenminds8270 Totally agree!
As someone who's autistic, I find meaning in some of the X-Men films. They're not specifically about autism, but are an allegory for those who experience discrimination. I see that as applying to those with disabilities and chronic illnesses. Change the line from X-Men First Class from "Mutant and proud" to "Autistic and proud".
A close friend of my who is autistic said something similar of X-Men 2, the scene were Iceman tells his parents about being a mutant. The part about being gifted, having very high IQ and her special interest having helped her developed extrodinary skills in certains fields due to spending so much time at them.
And then the part about Iceman's mum telling him not to be a mutant. My friends mum told her she had to train away her autism...
I really love mutant as an allegory for disability, not only because is manages to be fun for disabled people without trying to say what "inspirations" we are, but also because it actually makes a specific parts of x men storylines work better and make sense.
Such as when a "cure" is presented. When a writer sets it as an allegory for a different group it puts the cure debate in a n awkward position where they have essentially let go of their life line and have to tread water in actually fully exploring there concepts AND/OR keeping it from sending a bad message through their current analogy. (IE: If your doing the LGBTQ+ angle, then you really can't say that a "cure" would be a good thing for anyone, and it also implies that some LGBTQ+ people are inherently dangerous). But if it's an analogy for disability suddenly you can actually safely make a point again. Because then you can have the framework of real world issues of how diffrent disabilities are but how there all just stuck together into one category. Think Depression compared to Autism.
Now I'm sure there wouldn't still be issues and challenges. Comparing anything in our world to humans sometimes getting superpowers is super difficult. (Honestly some of my favorite media are obes that just do not make it an allegory and just explore what would happen.) But I do REALLY love it as a lense and I wish an author or director would use it.
Tip for my other ASD people out there: when those weird neurotypicals are trying to stare into your eyeballs like creeps (I mean seriously whyyy; my eyes aren't ears, I don't need them to listen to you) stare at their nose!
I have ADD. Absolutely hate looking in people's eyes when talking... I tend to look at foreheads cos other facial features just have too much going on so I get tend to get distracted looking anywhere else on someone's face.
@@sarahportelli93 Understandable. Sometimes I can't do the nose trick just because I can still see they're eyes in my peripheral which is enough to be uncomfortable.
Eyebrows, eyebrows are great to look at :p
@@hollyblyth6285 Eyebrows for me are just a bit too close to eyes because people will sometimes just stand up a bit straighter, but do what makes you feel comfortable :)
Thank you so much! I’m not officially on the spectrum but I have so much discomfort looking people in the eyes!
I would love an episode on ADHD! I grew up with a high-functioning autistic little brother and other neurotypical siblings. Growing up I was told my brother and I were very similar. I had lots of social anxiety, emotional dysregulation and was a pretty shy and sad little girl. It's only been this year, at 29 that I've been diagnosed with ADHD and it was a light bulb. I had no idea that adhd affected EVERYTHING not just attention. I was never hyperactive and saw no representation for me as a shy female. I went through my life always feeling like something was wrong with me and was misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression, ptsd and BPD at several points through my life until finally coming to adhd after self diagnosing and finally having some peace in my life and hope for the future
Entrapta from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is a really good representation. She definitely falls under the “ambiguous” category but I saw SO much of myself and other autistic people in her character. There was so much good representation in SPOP. I highly recommend it
It was canonised. There was a lot of input from a crew member with ASD
I loved her s5 arc so much.
Entrapta was wonderful! Tiny Food!
Yes! It definitely has some problems, mainly that it does not clearly enough points out that the ableism Entrapta faces by the Princesses is bad (seems like a no-brainer but I saw so many neurotypicals victim blame her) and that she is a villain, but other than that its so detailed and on point. Also her romance with Hordak (another disabled person). I literally never saw a romance between two disabled character, *and* then there are also talking about how they are othered by their society and about their internalized ableism and help each other out of it ("Imperfection is beautiful"). I felt so seen.
And sadly, how much she wishes to just fit in and how nearly everybody around her mistreats her was so realistic too
I was scrolling to see if anyone had mentioned Entrapta. I love her so much!!
Thank you so much for making this video! As an autistic person that means a lot to me. I wanted to share an anecdote about Sheldon and why I don't like this representation, and his lack of diagnosis plays a role into that: Often when I've showed autistic traits, expressing my need for routine and how I don't like change, my parents, who like The Big Bang Theory, have told me I was just acting like Sheldon. Which is extremely frustrating because I act this way because I'm autistic, and I feel like if he was explicitly autistic people would understand better that it's not exclusive to him but these traits are autistic traits. But also they presented me "acting like Sheldon" as me being difficult, exaggerating, annoying, because that's also how Sheldon is portrayed, which is something I really don't like about this portrayal. It frames autistic traits as a burden for people around us, as being annoying or selfish, and that's not a good idea
Yeah, great point!
Thank you so much for having me, Jessie!! Love this conversation and love that more people are learning about the diversity within the autism spectrum! ♾❤🙌
Thank YOU my dear! ❤️
This video changed my life. A few months and nearly a thousand dollars later, I've been officially diagnosed with Level 2 ASD and am actually on the path to getting the help I've desperately needed these past 30+ years. So, thank you, Jessica. Your work makes a difference.
Level 2? Is autism a video game lol?
@@rachelcookie321 Yes, I am actually playing life on hard mode.
@@criticalmaz1609 what does it actually mean though? I have diagnosed autism but nothing about levels.
@@rachelcookie321 It's something like 1 = mild, 2 = moderate, and 3 = high in terms of symptom severity and support needs, according to the DSM-5. In the past I would probably been have diagnosed with Asperger's or "high-functioning" autism.
@@criticalmaz1609 I think I was just diagnosed as high functioning which was in 2018.
I had no idea that the creators of one of my favorite versions of Sherlock said such horrible things about autism... I really liked that show and connected with Sherlock. The idea that the people who made it hate people like me really hurts.
I had mixed feelings about the show and Sherlock himself. Without knowing what the writers had said, I was annoyed by the "high-functioning sociopath" bit they kept doing. (I also think the stuff with Moriarty as well as the final episode felt a lot like Shonen Jump manga/anime adaptations.)
But yeah. Strange that they would comment like that. (I'm also not a fan of Stephen Moffat in general.)
That quote ruined the imitation game for me. And I actually loved that movie.
Yeah it's fucked up
@@naomitheminion6275 yes. Now it's still my special interest (Sherlock) but it doesn't hit the same way as it once did. I needed to develop the kind of maturity that lets things like this go as it takes too much energy to fix either the problem or my emotional state. So I'd feel worse for the lack of energy
That show actively seemed to hate most of its audience. The LGBTQ+ ones, teen ones, disabled and autistic ones. In hindsight, it’s so hateful and mean-spirited as a whole.
I have autism and one of the most annoying thing for someone to say to me is "you dont look like you have autism...."
Also Jessica your very pretty ^_^ and have a lovely soft spoken voice
Oh that is soooo annoying when people say that to me! I am an Autistic woman and that always frustrates me!
Omg yes!
There is literally a book about autism called You don't look autistic. So you are not the only ones.
Argh!!!! I get this. I had someone at my last job telling I was faking cause I didn’t ‘look autistic’ I asked her what I was meant to look like then? She didn’t speak to me after that
I counter with ‘you don’t look ignorant so I guess we’re both wrong’ when I get told I don’t look autistic! It’s like people want us to be happy that we don’t ‘look disabled’. 😑
I work in direct support, and I have an individual with autism and intellectual disabilities. He has a fixation on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and it makes me smile a little bit that he was born the same year TMNT was started.
I would also like medical professionals to look into whether or not ADHD is part of the spectrum. As someone with ADHD, and everyone in my immediate family has it, ADHD folks share many of the diagnostic criteria for ASD.
@@danielmatson4209 hello, in the Netherlands ADHD and more are considered part of the autistic spectrum
@@danielmatson4209 My mom and sister have (confirmed) ADHD, and I'm on the spectrum myself. I have a lot in common with my mom on many levels, but I don't consider ADHD as being on the spectrum. Then again, we never know how medicine and mental health discussions will change in the future (like how Asperger's was its own thing and is now considered part of the spectrum instead).
Completely off-topic: Tutant Meenage Needle Teetles
I'm autistic and also love the Ninja turtles. When I was a little girl, our cat had four kittens. They were all boys. I named them Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo and had blue, purple, red, an orange colors respectively. I was even a ninja for Halloween one year with nunchucks because I wanted to be Mikey.
You were so respectful and confident throughout the video, I was shocked when you said you weren’t autistic because I’m not used to allistic people being so understanding. I know ADHD shares a lot of experiences with autism (I have both, ADHD was diagnosed long before autism), but even then, to talk about this for nearly 40 minutes and be so graceful throughout- your open mind makes you a wonderful person. I hope you know that.
Personally, my favorite headcanon for an autistic character is Zuko from Avatar.
He is always stuck on capturing the avatar, and getting really mad when this doesn't work. He was behind on his own firebending, but also has a intrest in duel swords. He also has trouble reading people and prepares before talking to them.
I don't know. I just love it.
You can pry this heancanon from my cold dead hands I love it thank you so much
@@youdontseethateveryday7581 Your welcome! I'm glad to see other people like it too. It makes for a fun lense on a rewatch. I wish I could remember who I first heard it from so I could give them more credit.
god absolutely! trouble with humor and picking up social cues from his peers? blunt to the point of not understanding other's reactions/emotions? fixated on honor to the point of ignoring other things? one of the only benders we see who picks up another form of combat, presumably because of special interest? we love an autistic firelord.
plus the narrative of not being naturally talented at a traditionally valued trait (firebending) and being devalued by adults in your life for it, despite talent in other areas (dual dao swords)? being punished for a perceived 'lack of respect' that in reality is just speaking your mind bc you don't know all the secret little ways people move around their point? having to work and struggle to get to the same point that some seem to just have naturally, and then realizing that the markers for success that you were raised with are inherently flawed? very relatable to this autistic viewer, though maybe I'm just projecting.
@@mylahobbit1815 Well, if you are then I'm projecting with you and a whole lot of other autistics!
0.0 intresting headcanon, i must ruminate on this.
I dont have autism myself, however I have ADHD, grew up with autism in my family, and now work with autistic children, and one of my favourite head cannons is Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender being autistic or at the least exhibiting lots of autistic traits. There's a huge tumbler post about it and honestly adds so many more layers to Zuko's character.
Thank you so much for making this video and for working directly with the autistic community, representation matters but more importantly ***accurate*** representation matters.
Zuko doesn't show autistic traits
i’ve never seen this head cannon but i’ll have to check it out because i just finished the series!
"females" (im an afab trans guy) not having autism representation is what caused me to go undiagnosed until i was 15 years old, after getting kicked out of school instead of given support because i wasnt diagnosed. im 20 now and im still incredibly bitter
22yo (afab) enby and have just realised I might be autistic. Trying to start persuing diagnosis as it might help me get through the rest of uni without repeating again. Sorry you were treated so badly, hope you've had support since.
Edit: also somehow managed to get my age wrong I'm 21
I'm sorry that you've had to go through that stuggle. I was diagnosed at 11 myself (mostly because of my mom, who is very good judge of character and has ADHD), and it can be a struggle without proper representation. I hope that with your diagnosis and more rep and information, you can have a good and prosperous life! :)
Most of us on the spectrum over 40 are just getting diagnosed now. Be glad things aren't as bad as when I was a kid, adults all called us names back then.
@@blisles7626 You should definitely try to get a diagnosis if you can. I was able to get a lot of support from my school (my own dorm room for one thing) after I proved that I had autism. It does depend on the school, but if they have a disabilities office, you should certainly use the resources provided.
And good luck in your education!
I'm struggling with this. I'm always questioning if I should seek a diagnosis. Throughout my life it's been suggested that I should get tested for asperges but I was always turned away because "girls don't have autism". It's also difficult to talk to people about as it then brings in my being trans too.
So many descriptions really resonate with me, but I then wonder if it's worth looking into anymore as an adult.
another great thing about abed from community is that his friends don't try to change him and his autistic traits, but instead always bear with him and help him when he has meltdowns (for example; the scene in which he is freaking out about the clock in the study room being changed due to daylight savings time and annie & troy hug and comfort him)! he is also considered to be bisexual by a large part of the community fandom, and while it is never *explicitly* said he is autistic there are a lot of instances in the show where it is heavily implied ("on the spectrum? none of your business", "britta's brother works with children with a disorder i might wanna look up", "mildly autistic superdetectives everywhere")!
As a diehard Grey's Anatomy fan, I gotta point out that the hospital to this date, to 2020, has huge posters for Autism Speaks all over. Which IS the show itself promoting them. This is unforgivable.
As an autistic lass myself, a character I see a lot of positively portrayed autistic traits in is Paddington Bear (or at least the live-action incarnation of the character). In the two films he:
• routinely has difficulty picking up on sarcasm and social cues
• speaks in a very matter of fact way which can occasionally come across as rudeness
• very quickly forms bonds to people who show him respect and kindness
• feels very deeply and is hyper-empathetic towards others
• eats the same food every day (marmalade sandwiches)
• has a special interest in the city of London
• has an extremely strict sense of right and wrong
Of course all of these could be down to the fact that he was raised in an overall danger-free environment outside of human society, but I can relate to a lot in how he is portrayed and it makes me happy to think he may have some form of autism (or a bear equivalent of autism)
love this!
Ahhh, interesting! And I was a fan of the Paddington Bear books growing up, so this perspective is good to know!
I love that! As an ADHDer myself, I relate a lot to Pooh Bear for similar reasons. He’s just a nice dude who is sometimes a little bit dumb.
@@rancidprince3133 dumb is not a great word :s (jessica here has a video about that) how about you go with clueless instead???
Oh my God! I have loved Paddington as long as I can remember and you have just blown my mind.
What's also frustrating is that in the majority of these Hollywood narratives about us autistic adults, we are desexualized, infantalized, and ridiculed. It's so frustrating. I'm an autistic woman who is bisexual, and I want to have a career, have a relationship, and start a family. I'm studying to be a GIS Analyst/Cartographer, and I hope to get married and start my own family. I'm tired of society treating us autistic adults like brain-damaged golden retrievers.
I am also a bisexual autistic woman and I agree with you 100 percent. I’m tired of the media portraying autistic people as only white boys who can’t do anything or white boys or men who are savant. There is way more variety in autistic people and autistic traits then the media or just people in general like to talk about. I also hope to get married one day and adopt kids. I am currently majoring in environmental engineering and I want to help build real solution to help combat the climate crisis.
That's awesome! Let's keep the fight going! 😊 We have to protect our planet.
We don't say enough : there's enough being apolitised as well. I remind a woman whose son was autistic, who wanted to design an app made to follow "help" autistic people, that can reaveal thei position anytime to their parents. When I raised the privacy issues floating around that, she didn't even answered, at that time, I was minor. It was before Snowden affair by the way. Too many people used Greta Thunberg's autism to invalidate her speech and it's infuriating. It could be nice to see more autistic people with political opinions (Temple Grandin is among the rare examples I have in mind, perhaps the only one). Or the writers consider autistic people are naturally egoistic, which is quite ironic, when when we are the ones who got used to permanently adapt to an hegemonic standard for them to be at ease with often no equivalence.
my favorite representation is Marcy from the disney show Amphibia. she's one of the main characters, and the best friend of Anne, the main character. She cares a lot about her interests, mostly fantasy movies and video games. her friends ignore her and don't really care about her interests, but it's a subplot in season 3 where they realize that they haven't been very good friends. she's very clumsy, but also really smart, and really cares about her friends. She makes some not so smart descisons, such as stealing a music box that causes her and her friends to get transported to the frog dimension, or trusting the newt king who will stab her in the back (literally), but her motivations make sense, and her reasons for them make a lot of sense. She really struggles with change, so when her parents tell her that she's moving and will have to leave all of her friends and everything she knows, she decides to travel to a world where she would never have to leave her friends, and she could stay with her friends and have adventures. it backfires, leaving them stranded in a world of frogs and newts. but overall, she's written really well and realistically, and is by far my favorite character in the show.
I have autism and the one and only time I tried to talk about this sort of thing with my neurotypical friend I was pretty much told “You’ve got representation, stop complaining.” It can be frustrating to try and discuss this because I realise most don’t mean to get it wrong but it does get frustrating when people tell me that they genuinely think we ALL have superpowers. I think I would get a little less annoyed if they acknowledged the pros as well as the cons.
You need better friends
That’s not your friend, that’s a leech: from a fellow autistic. I went through something similar. I think we both know neither of us deserve that treatment.
The "superpower" claim is a way for some people to ignore a lac of services in some areas. "If you have a superpower, why should I care if you don't get more help? You have a superpower!" Those memes don't originate with people who have those conditions. It's started by physically healthy and/or neurotypical people who want to feel better about doing nothing, who then enforce the superpower-label onto others.
Thanks for the responses, I had been worried I was overreacting but it’s comforting to know that you share similar concerns :)
I'm surprised that Leonardo DiCaprio's portrayal of Arnie in What's Eating Gilbert Grape wasn't mentioned. His portrayal had a very profound effect on me watching it because I related to so many of the things that Arnie did with the things I did myself as a kid. When he's playing hide and seek with his siblings, but is clearly not hiding, in plain sight and laughing very loudly, that got me because I played that exact game with my mum when I was very little. It made me so happy to see an autistic person in film who wasn't a savant, who isn't cold and emotionless (in fact, Arnie is incredibly emotional and can be seen often see sawing between being deeply upset to europhically happy), he was just a person with difficulties. And Gilbert loves his brother. And when they finally go with Gilbert's girlfriend, he takes Arnie with him. Yes, of course being a carer is draining and challenging, but no one ever says that Arnie is a burden. That's just the way he is and that's okay. All of the characters in the family are very dysfunctional for different reasons. Arnie is just one of them. He's not a problem to be solved, he's just Arnie. I know some people have an issue with non-autistic actors playing autistic characters and that is definitely a valid debate, but Arnie is SUCH an important character to me.
This has been my Ted Talk on What's Eating Gilbert Grape, thank you for having me.
I find it interesting that media often has ONE lgbt or ONE autistic character when, at least in my personal experience, I often naturally gravitated and related to other lgbt or autistic kids growing up. I found it easy and comfortable talking with other autistic kids and would make friends with them because we thought similarly/had similar interests or experiences (I'm not formally diagnosed). In reality, it moreso ends up being an entire close friend group of autistic queer kids!
There's so much complexity in Actual People that they just don't want to have to think about in character interactions because it's more complicated than dismissing everything and focusing in on a single character or trait
This exactly this! We find each other!
I'd highly recommend watching she ra!! theres only one autistic character (who absolutely owns my heart i love u entrapta) but almost everyone in the mostly female cast is lgbt!! its so so good
This Is literally my friend group
As a person with ADHD and anxiety I can identify with a lot of the stressors I saw in Sheldon with his protective approach to his environment. Any changes to my environment outside my immediate control (temp. Noise level, brightness) cause me a lot of anger as an anxiety response. I really appreciate vids like this that talk about representation. Also I got ridiculously giddy when you mentioned aces. Thank you!!!
As an autistic woman, I really hesitated to watch this. My immediate thought was "omg this is one of my favorite youtubers and if this video sucks...theres just no going back! Ill remember whatever she says wrong forever!"
Thank you so much for such a well done video. I was almost tearing up because at the end of it there wasnt a single thing you said that I left me feeling unhappy. The empathetic side comments you make in support of us was so nice too. ❤ And you didnt just talk about us without us either! So much love❤
as an autistic person, i almost cried the first time i saw loop!! i had never seen a character stim the way i do before!!!
as a not autistic person, i also almost cried the first time i saw loop. it was really sweet and i’m happy that there’s good representation for you like that!!
Nice profile pic
I have autism but I don’t think I stim lol
@@rachelcookie321 Eyo everyone stims at least a little, loads of different things can be stims (skin picking, humming, fidgeting with objects, doodling, leg bouncing, biting lips/cheeks, drumming fingers, tapping foot, stroking a soft toy, biting nails, sucking thumb, chewing objects, chewing gum, playing songs/movies/etc in one's head), almost anything tbh that basically everyone does, it's usually that autistic people are more likely to stim more and have a wider variety of stims that might seem more different, but this isn't always the case so that's fair, it's just more likely rather than for definite. But ye just a note that everyone stims, usually a lot more than they know, including non-autistic people, we often don't realise that we're stimming when we are.
I love Bones. I like how she exhibits different levels of it in different episodes. To me thats very real. Some days im more sensitive to sounds, or im better at socializing with people, can talk about more things, and can read peoples emotions better. But other days i have to set alarms to tell myself to drink water.
I'm not Autistic, but I have an attachment disorder, and I identify with Bones probably more than any other female character I've ever seen. I also work in a field where death and gross things are part of my daily life and often accidentally make people uncomfortable by discussing those things in casual conversation (because I'm so passionate about what I do), so that deepens the feeling.
Seeing characters like Sherlock Holmes and Baby (Baby Driver) behave like me and learning that those behaviors I share with them are what make them autistic coded is what first prompted me to look into getting a diagnosis (which feels absolutely impossible for me as an adult!!!), so this video was super interesting to me!!
Just commenting on the Bella being autistic theory : I feel the theory would make more sense if she had ADHD : forgetting basic stuff like keeping in touch because her focus is on Edward, living day to day (because being organised and capable of projecting oneself in the future are common ADHD struggles)
Just putting it out here. Also it's worth noting that a lot of ppl with ADHD have autistic traits and vice versa, so my point doesn't invalidate the theory at all.
I completely agree with you. Bella's impulsiveness screams ADHD to me, and the way she can't manage to write to her mom sounds just like executive dysfunction, and my inability to stay in touch with people I cared about as a kid, if they moved away
Yeah, ADHD and ASD have so many overlapping symptoms but they still have enough differences to be told apart I think. It makes it difficult to self diagnose, though. XD
abed says in season three(?) “on the spectrum, none of your business and i think that sums it up pretty well
I find both the autism and the ADHD theories to be very interesting takes that I never really considered before. I always thought Bella reminded me of my brother, who my parents suspected of having both ADHD and being on the spectrum, but who was "only" diagnosed as being an extremely shy introvert with social anxiety and depression. I thought of Bella as not trying to make friends because she was very shy, not having the energy to fit in or make plans for her life because of her depression, and just wanting to take up as little space and attention as possible because of both. I feel like she picks up on a lot of social cues when it comes to her female friends, like changing the conversation when people are upset or trying to hint that people should do other things as to not hurt others feelings. She is overall just extremely passive when it comes to everything (at least for the first book), except her obsession with Edward, which felt like a teenager in an unhealthy and obsessive relationship would be like.
And I don't think autism would explain why Edward can't read her thoughts. There's no way that he has been able to read people's minds for 70+ years and has NEVER ran into a person with autism before lol. Bella could totally still be on the spectrum, but that can't be the explanation.
(Edit: I am reading more about autism in women now and I'm starting to really see and understand some of these points now. Wow. I am painfully undereducated in how autism tend to show up in women)
@@BrightonDestiny thank you for taking the time to look further into it.
I feel like autistic community also have the same problem as a lot of other communities with being so starved for representation that some people will literally take anything, no matter how terrible it is.
By the way, when I got my diagnosis, my parents were shocked. Mainly because my younger brother also has autism but experiences it radically differently, and does act very much like someone who has never met an autistic persons idea of an autistic person. For example, he has trouble conveying how he feels, which can often come off as if he lacks empathy. He doesn’t. Yet, my mom seemed to think so, and said she thought i was too “empathetic”, “happy to help” and even too “emotional” to have autism....
My mom thought I was way too unorganized to be autistic. My desk is a complete mess. If I could put a picture here I would lol
@@analuisa1214 same here - my therapist has recommended I take the Autism Spectrum Quotient because I display some of the traits...
A character that I grew up with is Lilo from the Disney movie Lilo & Stitch, as far as I know no one invloved has said shes supposed to be autistic, but having two siblings on the autism spectrum and recognizing autism traits in myself, I see myself and my siblings in her everytime I think of the movie.
Lilo is not autistic, she's a normal actual 6-year-old. She stands out bcs she's one of the very very few kid characters who actually acts like a real kid, tantrums and all
@@pink_alligator I don't think she's a typical child. She's a traumatized child dealing with life in the remains of a tragedy. I mean that's not unusual, because bad things happen a lot.
@@pink_alligator Why would it bother you if Lilo was autistic?
@@pink_alligator yo why do you care?
Pink Alligator Define ‘normal’
So... I just wanted to thank you for making this. Watching this video when when you first uploaded it was the first time it clicked for me that I might be autistic. Along with the excellent information on here, it led me to seeking out content made by autistic youtubers that ultimately led to me seeking a diagnosis. I'm in my thirties and it was... Kinda jaw dropping to suddenly have such a clear understanding of why I do certain things that I've previously punished myself for. After so many years of different diagnosies and different doctors and therapists and still just not really understanding... it feels really good.
So, again, thank you for creating such wonderful inclusive content. It has literally changed my life.
I love this video, but I honestly never thought Abed has a cold demeanor despite how often I hear him described that way. He's one of few autistic characters I can totally relate to (I cried the first time I watched Community and realized that, hes so good) and have always read him as being the most compassionate character with a few times he obviously misses the mark (because good intentions don't always end in positive impact)
I'm neurotypical, but I've cried so many times at his plotlines, because I can see that he really feels a lot of emotions, but he has trouble expressing them. Also I love his relationship with Troy because it never is portrayed like he burdens him, but rather adds another layer of fun and adventure to their everyday life
I would call it "flat affect" - thinking of the psych experiment episode in particular. "I was livid", in the same tone as if he was reading a grocery list.
That episode really hurt to watch, because I've been in almost identical situations where people don't listen to my words and just go by misinterpretations of my body language/tone.
True, I was a bit surprised when I heard the description! I’m currently watching community and abed is frequently warm and kind to his friends!
My doctor(GP) told me I wasn’t autistic (I told him how my therapist wanted to send me in to be tested for autism. At this time I was 14.) because, and I quote “Every autistic person I’ve ever seen throw fits, are violent, and have terrible grades.” I didn’t end up going back to my therapist because I stopped pressing the issue and didn’t get diagnosed till I was 18 years old. Causing me to only start getting help in school my senior year, which would have greatly helped my grades the previous years.
Guage Henthorn yes. He was generally dismissive as a doctor as well so I eventually convinced my parents to let me switch doctors.
Your experience is obviously awful & drs being dismissive leaves a lot of people to struggle alone. I am glad you managed to get a diagnosis, even if it was 4 years later due to negligent medical care.
However what I find particuarly annoying is that they don't educate themselves & realize that they have probably missed 80% of autistic adults they have seen because of their stupid narrow-minded steryotypes of what an autistic person looks & acts like. So they continue to dismiss all other autistic people looking for a diagnosis, or even argue with autistic people who already have a diagnosis.
I basically had to give my GP a presentation on how autism in women shows differently before he was willing to give me a referral for official diagnosis.
I'll go you one worse. I am diagnosed autistic, and also believe I have ADHD due to self-diagnosis from awesome RUclips channels such as "How to ADHD" which was the first time I ever felt seen/heard in my life on many of these issues. I then recognized similar issues in my son, so we brought it up with my son's therapist. (He had been in therapy for various things for years already.) My son was told by his therapist that he "couldn't possibly have autism or ADHD" because "they could tell by looking at him". This was at my city's official mental health facility!
Later, when I complained and demanded an official diagnosis we were told they didn't do diagnoses of either of those conditions and I would have to go find my own doctor somewhere to help me if I wanted that.
Every time in this facility we brought up the need for help, with these conditions in mind, we have been asked "what do you think a diagnosis is going to do for you?"
We've been struggling since my son was 14 (he's 20 now) to get him the therapy he needed because he was struggling so hard with everything. But I was barred from being involved with his therapy in any way because I was not the client, even after both he and I begged to have me there because he needs me to help translate/interpret what each side means, and express what he struggles to find words to say, and advocate for him when they bulldoze over his right to be heard or believed. After he turned 16 he was told he could not possibly have ADHD or autism because "surely they would have detected it in you as a child if it were true". Now that he is 20 they claim he cannot have ADHD because "that is something that only affects children".
So yeah, most of our progress with these issues has been due to self-diagnosis, and seeking out independent sources of advice and understanding such as RUclips videos on the subject. Even the systems theoretically put in place specifically to help people like us are not being helpful, and are gaslighting and denying our lived realities.
I sympathize with your replies. I have ADHD as well. It’s one of the reasons that effected me getting a diagnoses as well. I was already diagnosed with ADHD.
An interesting autism coded character would be Eleven from Stranger Things. Although all of her autistic symptoms are because she was raised in a lab, it still feels very similar to autism.
I thought she might bring up eleven when talking about autism and superpowers, as (although I am not autistic) I thought she was supposed to be hinted at having autism/have some traits but they never confirmed or denied it.
@Mister Squiggles Well yes that’s true, but to me it seems like she has many autistic characteristics too, although I suppose they could all be from PTSD
@@louisadsc it could easily just be adhd too many people find out later on in life that they got misdiagnosed with autism when in actual fact they have adhd because they somewhat overlap that most girls get diagnosed or like you assumed someone is autistic when in actual fact it's adhd
@@tvaholicsquidney yes that’s a good point!
What about Will and Johnathan
Also cheers to including Plumbella. She's awesome as a person and simmer, but also great because she's very open about being autistic and recognizing Sims as her special interest. She also spreads awareness about mental health in general, by sharing when her upload schedule is changing due to anxiety or depression.
Just thought I'd throw this small correction out there. "Ace" generally means "asexual" which is different than "aromantic". You can be ace while still having romantic feelings for people.
Love your videos, I've learned so much from you!
I'm so grateful other people are commenting on that, I'm not gonna lie as great as it's been to see ace mentioned in other videos (like what not to say to LGBT+ people), that comment kinda hurt, and it's a stereotype that really needs to die off. (I'm ace, but not aro).
Also aspec people still... have feelings? Rejection of someone you have feelings about (and both asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums) still hurts no matter what your orientation is.
Tazzie1312 THIS! I’m ace & arospec & i definitely still understand & relate to the experiences she’s describing
@@Tazzie1312 Well put! I definitely didn't mean to imply otherwise!
I’m ace and aro, ty for this! ♡
I love how you talk about the positive traits that autism can come with. My boyfriend has autism, which makes him a no-nonsense and honest guy. When I am explaining my point of view to him, I am not asking him to understand anymore, this used to put a lot of extra stress on our arguments. Now, I ask him to accept how I feel. That way he doesn't get frustrated for not completely understanding my mental situation that he can't always relate to, but I still feel validated. It can be challenging sometimes, but to me there are so many positive traits to autism, if you can look deeper than social clumsyness or a 'reserved' attitude.
Hi! I’m on the spectrum and, while I’m only 7 minutes in, I wanted to say this before I forgot: Hollywood is a nightmare when it comes to us, but I personally like the character Spencer Reid on Criminal Minds. He is portrayed as a super genius, which is an often-used trope to get NTs to not realize how badly they represent us, BUT Reid’s other symptoms of autism, such as deficits in verbal/nonverbal communication, are met with kindness and understanding by his colleagues. Also, Reid’s empathy (especially with his colleague/friend JJ) is revealed to be strong as the show progresses, and Reid’s own emotional struggles (like with his mom’s dementia and his father leaving him as a young kid) are not at all trivialized. He is not treated like a smart little baby, but rather as another colleague who needs some extra attention when it comes to communicating clearly, and his overly-detailed explanations are seen as a good thing that contributes to his character. Even if the other characters might joke about his ramblings, they don’t do it in a pejorative way. I know he isn’t the best there could be, but he’s the best I’ve seen and I have hope for other shows to follow.
even in the first episode he asks how he should have people to refer to him and his coworker responded "Doctor Reid" because he didn't want him to be viewed as anything diminutive due to age or other reasons
Plus the actor has the same characteristics
As a special needs (mental and physical) teacher (I hate that ‘special’ is the title) in a need pure secondary school in England and with a highly autistic younger brother, I’m really thankful for your video Katherine. The way you delivered facts and information to those who may not be aware and hopefully educated them all whilst showing your own knowledge on the subject whilst remaining so aware that no two people with autism are the same (just like how everyone looks different and even identical twins have dissimilarities) is so amazing and I’m so grateful for the way you’ve made this video. Thankyou ❤️