I think a lot of sufferers of BPD wish we could be psychopathic. It would be less painful/we'd be able to let go of our issues or past traumas and fears and just move on.
When you are someone who is ostracized by society to begin with just for presenting as your true self and are bpd it is exponentially amplified. To be psychopathic, even for a day would be such a vacation.
I think I have BPD I often feel like an out of control kid who is asking to be seen and understood even when I'm raging, psychopaths seem like people who never acted like a kid even when they were a kid lol
I noticed the following: Psychopaths have low activity of the amydala and express less emotion, they also commonly have lower cortisol levels (i.e. low reaction to stresses). However, with borderline perdsonality disorder they were found to have high activity of the amydala, express intense emotional sensitivity (i.e. mood instability, including major depression or/and rage) and tend to have a higher cortisol level (i.e. high reaction to stresses).
This makes a lot of sense. A family member of mine got diagnosed with BPD and from my interactions with them, they were always very emotionally driven. People always explain BPD in one lens, so thank you for sharing this information.
Yeah this is why I think my mom has some psychopathy. Initially my therapist assumed my mom was BPD and the first thing I thought about was the emotionality of BPD and my mom has shown very little fear in my life and I honestly don't think I've ever seen her cry. I've watched her bold faced lying to police officers 3 times and they believed her !... Yeah personally I think there are alot more psychopaths right now than we think there are
@@alllifematters 1 in 100 are supposed to be psychopaths and 1 in 25 suppose to be sociopaths. When acting upon someone else in a revengeful manner sociopaths react quickly but psychopaths don't react at all until they have thought out carefully and calculated their revenge. Revenge from a psychopath could be years later, holding the grudge and not forgetting what annoyed them. Saying this, both are very impulsive, callous, risk takers, lie, but the worst part is their deceptive ability.
This was really informative and helpful. For a time after receiving my BPD diagnosis, I obsessively read about BPD and saw a lot of people saying that BPD was essentially a form of psychopathy. I internalized this and came to believe myself to be evil and psychopathic. I'm not, though my BPD was severe and I had a history of conduct issues. Thank you for your continued videos. They've helped me grow insight and grow as a person
@@JoseRRodriguez Jung ISNT God ,in the Bible Gods word Jesus says the heart of man is decietfully wicked!Watch Bill Weise 23 minuets in hell on you tube and SEE what God is trying to save you from!Be blessed!
Not everyone who is a psychopath and sociopath aren’t evil they are human too however some of them can do evil things and not feel anything about. The ones that are prison are the ones who arent very smart. Freedom is more important than anything else at least for me than anything than else.
I think, because I grow up with both psycopaths & BPD people, I hade no "firewall" to detect this kind of people, so I have met many psycopaths, ruined my life. And also I was programmed to "serve" this kind of people, which attracted them. Now I just want to be alone.
"This kind of people".. What do you mean? " psycHopaths or people with bpd? Thanks to put us all in the same box, and thanks to let such a message like this on a channel dedicated to help bpd people to not diabolizing ourselves. Very appropriate😑
I am so excited and grateful for this topic! Not only will it finally put an end to the confusion which up to now has led the two to be lumped together, but it will also help people with BPD become more aware of the internal splitting they experience which causes them to believe they are "evil".
What I’ve noticed from Dr Fox is that he’s always been a huge advocate for BPD folks and that is so beautiful! I’m not diagnosed with BPD but I have a lot of things going on for a long time, and BPD the quiet type feels relatable to me. I guess my point is thank you Dr. Fox.
Doctor Fox is a truly authentic sweet man. I can understand if you have had your life destroyed by someone with BPD, It's hard to see them in a good light. Having had my life destroyed by narcissist and psychopaths, for example doctor Ruth, the younger one, on youtube, dr. Ruth sees the good in narcissist. It's rather difficult watching her content, And other psychologists who advocate for narcissists, hard to stomach them too. It is hard Not, to love Genuine Dr. Fox🥰
Absolutely, it’s so good to be regarded with compassion and to be validated and not seen as just a crazy person is just so helpful I just can’t express how helpful it’s been.
@@Boomboom-xm5su no as an experienced clinician, licensed expert, writer, lecturer and trainer, he is capable of identifying real psychiatric disorders traits or propensities , discerning their symptom strength and severity and distinguish this all from the colloquial misconceptions overgeneralization and general ignorance that characterize most armchair diagnosticians on social media
@@Nevermor3music well that would certainly run counter to his mission as a counselor licensed psychologist writer clinician and most importantly educator.. people diagnosed with BPD are among the most misaligned on the planet. Perhaps it’s time those around them stop pointing fingers based upon highly subjective reactivity mired in inaccurate “ professional “ information now reinterpreted and redacted and revisit their experiences based upon what we now understand and more importantly seek therapy themselves to understand the role they themselves played or play in the dynamic although they have not ever submitted themselves to possible “ evaluation/ diagnosis “
Except in prison, you're looking at the people who get CAUGHT. They're low-functioning psychopaths. The psychopath charms his way out of that nonsense.
Sometimes I used to exaggerate the things I did because I wanted school friends to like me, I did feel terribly embarrassed and guilty. My mother made me feel worthless I wasn't even allowed to sit at the dinner table. So I compensated by spinning these great places I visited in the mean time I had never done such a thing. Its dreadful when , to make oneself feel your okay, you exaggerate your life, which felt meaningless. I feel sad for those days I felt the need to do that. 😔
When I was younger I was really scared that I might be a sociopath because I had a dark side to me that was infatuated with criminals/villians and idolized some scary people, and I could become so deeply filled with rage and desire vengeance. But I also could feel empathy, and sometimes too damned much of it. So it confused me. Over time I realized that I simply was deeply traumatized and that different aspects of my psyche were stuck at different stages and learned to cope in different ways. There was a terrible sorrow in me that I couldn't handle and so I had to wall myself off from it and in turn I would feel anger and then (usually with the help of alcohol) hatred. I think I idolized certain people who were violent and lashed out at society because I wished that I had the ability to stand up for myself and feel like I had some respect, and because I had almost no ability to deal with confrontation or stand up for myself, I would become really resentful and then I would drink and idolize terrible people and fantasize that I had that type of respect, power, and recognition because I felt so damned inferior, powerless, and invisible. My fantasy life was the antithesis of my actual lived life. In the real world I couldn't function or seem to do anything right, so I had to somehow try and convince myself that somehow I actually mattered, and so I'd imagine being somebody while feeling like I was actually nobody.
This is really interesting to me, as someone with BPD who is also on the ASPD spectrum. Contrary to many people's opinions, I never feared I was "psychopathic" because of my BPD, but rather, I actually thought I COULDN'T have ASPD or be Sociopathic BECAUSE I have BPD and there were too many opposites. I have all 9 diagnostic criteria for BPD. I'm 43 and had no idea that I had it until a few years ago. My most outwardly problematic behaviours and patterns of instability were from age 16 to my early 30s. Self harm, explosions of anger and abuse, and frequent "splitting". BUT...these destructive traits only came out to my "Favourite Person". No one else. Nobody would EVER have suspected I had any issues like that. I hid everything, was very good at putting on facade, at acting, and could turn my explosions on and off like a switch. The hideous FEELINGS were still there, but I just behaved normally. (Not because I was some sort of bully in private and who wanted to look good in front of other people, but because I found it painfully embarrassing to show ANY negative emotions in front of anyone except my Favourite Person. So they got it all. Lucky them! lol) I did ALWAYS take responsibility and ownership once I was "myself" again, but for many years, it was a pattern of hideous behaviour, apologising and owning it, and then doing it again. I mention my age because the manifestations of my BPD have changed somewhat. I used to CONSTANTLY seek external validation, admiration, reassurance, comfort, and attention. Now, I am just SO VERY bored. All the time. Nothing brings me pleasure. I no longer seek out attention because it does nothing for me anymore. I sleep most of the day to avoid feeling like this. So horribly empty. I used to be a shopaholic, love thrill rides, and was quite adventurous, without fear. Now...no. Bored. I know longer outwardly explode. I learned that I CAN control my behaviour and that it's just not worth the outbursts as it always made everything worse. I'm still internally unstable though, and can get into inner rages with violent thoughts and hateful intentions towards ONLY my Favourite Person. No one else. (I'm irritable, impatient and intolerant of most people, but that's not the same thing.) I feel DEEPLY and am hyper sensitive and can be reactive to my FP. I have huge levels of empathy for them, as well as 3 other people in my life who I really love, and ALL animals. I feel enormous love, guilt, fear of losing them, and I'm protective of them. But no one else. I don't care about anyone else. (I still have high cognitive empathy for people though. I understand how they think and feel. But I don't care.) Which brings me to the ASPD side of things. I would be in jail if I'd ever been caught for my various crimes. I don't care. I just want what I want. I crave money and power, because to me, they equate to control and freedom. And a part of me wants to feel superior. Also, I'm smart, but lazy. So I've done things to "earn money" that were illegal, and only stopped some of them when I had to (when the risks became too great. I refuse to ruin my life.) I did hurt certain animals as a kid...a baby bird, and I burnt and killed snails on a BBQ. I didn't do it for excitement. It was just interesting to observe them. I had 2 cats that I grew up with, and who I loved DEEPLY. I didn't associate my love for animals with the snails or the bird. I lie as easily as I tell the truth. Sometimes I don't even have a reason for it. I just talk and stuff comes out. Again, I don't care. Other more purposeful times I lie to avoid getting in trouble, to get what I want, to feel superior, or for non-ASPD reasons, to avoid hurting, stressing out or disappointing my few loved ones. I have a parasitic lifestyle. I don't work and never wanted to. I am an opportunist who will appear to be "normal" and "decent" with paying bills and such, but I'll often find ways to avoid paying. Because I don't want to "lose" money on things I don't value. Like bills. I never do any housework, washing or cooking. Nope. I feel like the deep motivation behind ASPD behaviour is wants, and the deep motivation behind BPD behaviour is fears. I have both, entangled. I also feel like, unless I deeply love someone or they're my FP, I am dormant in terms of the BPD, but high on the ASPD spectrum. Because I don't care. I also have co-morbidities like long term anxiety (since age 4), CPTSD, OCD, and Major Depressive Disorder. Aaaaaand clearly I enjoy talking about myself! lol
It's like you describe me...literally. Except for the love part, I can't feel that deep love for "love partner", never felt that, it was just stupid obsession, idealising, and try to fulfil MY needs... BTW I have ADHD, narcissistic and antisocial tendencies. I do not feel empathy for real people in real life, I simply don't care. But I'm hyper sensitive, hyper anxious and paranoid. But I felt sad even can cry when I read something bad about someone, bad news etc. I read that's projectification...but not sure what actually it is.. I feel something definitely, but I think I have alexitymia can't describe what exactly I feel, name feelings.. 90% of my feelings are anger, rage and anxiety, anxiety.
I really recommend we don’t try to dissect ourselves too much and focus on improving our quality of life. DBT helped me a lot. I still have issues but I feel more in control these days. I honestly don’t think you’re a bad person at all. Sounds like you’re doing your best to survive. I wish you well.
I have BPD, and also watch a lot of true crime documentaries and it breaks me to see so many police and investigators and just people in those professions make direct links and statements about the murderers having bpd or personality disorders - saying that was the cause and reasons for them to harm and murder or just simply the reason for their behaviour being so flawed - a way to tarnish the whole community with the same brush.. thank you so much for this video 🙏🏼
when i was getting diagnosed years ago, a doctor told me she did not and COULD not diagnose me with BPD because she didn’t see me as being ‘dangerous’ enough. as if people w bpd are a danger and a menace to society. she said it like it was a horrible diagnosis .. now, years later and in DBT, i don’t mind my diagnosis of having BPD (which 2 psychiatrists have diagnosed me with) and i am so grateful for your videos! ❤️ cheers to all the borderlines thriving! IT IS POSSIBLE. right therapist, right meds, right lifestyle (not saying there is a right or wrong) i could say, a HEALTHY lifestyle. with balance and believing in oneself! once again, thanks dr Fox💓
Also, can we PLEASE stop making people into their diagnosis? Nobody is A Borderline. Nobody is A Schizophrenic. We’re all human beings with a set of symptoms that doctors decided to group under that disorder. Making people into their diagnoses dehumanizes them.
Thank you. May I ask wich meds helped you? I ve been diagnosed with bpd( quite severe), and been prsecribed Abilify and Xanax.. Though I didnt feel ok under this substances so I ve stopped it. I am currently back in my old addictions( hash and alcohol..), wich always been my own medecines( very unproductive😢). I really want my brain to stop torturing me; what helped you?
As someone with BPD, I actually related to the psychopath on the level of boredom. Im very bored all the time. I find entertainment in nothing and very much a sensation seeker.
Boredom is a symptom of dysfunction of dopamine centers, often people who are addicts get these symptoms when they quit their addiction when they stop smoking weed or stop using alcohol, anyway the dopamine reward center is impaired and needs to be repaired. The brain needs 6 months to recover.
@@sparklingloveandlightI'm psychopathic and a person with bpd will suffer greatly dealing with us because we don't like clinginess and we don't give attention unless we getting something out of it so if the borderline isn't 100% submitted to us most times they won't they will get destroyed
I can relate to the psychopathic profile as I know someone with some of those traits. I suffer from BPD and I have ended some relationships recently. I realized that I was "mirroring" that person, although that experience helped me discover certain skills I didn't know I had, but I also realized that my life became empty because I focused everything on that person. Nobody will ever be there as much as you need and nobody can ever be responsible for your happiness or fulfillment.
Now there is me who is in love with a psychopath. I hv not yet seen -ve traits on her but zmshe openly told me, en warned me to b keen. I don't kno if to dump her or not
I hate the common mis-informed connection made between BPD & Narcissistic Disorder. If we were narcissistic we wouldn't empathise with others so readily, nor feel other people's emotions or atmospheres. Gives us genuine sufferers of BPD a bad name - like we need that! I get we're not easy individuals to love but we're not all bad, we have awesome qualities and it's about time someone on utube spoke up for us!
Most people with BPD I’ve met seem to be able to empathize….just not when they are responsible for the incident. This is a characteristic on a narc. I think this is how the common dual diagnosis occurs. However, it’s also a debate based on the fact that most narcs will never allow themselves to be evaluated and diagnosed, so how do we gather data to prove that having both is not common.
people with NPD LACK empathy. It's not that they don't have empathy at all. They just use their "empathy" for their own gain if course. Borderline people can have too much and not enough empathy especially during the bad times. The other traits that overlap is fear of abondenment. I can kinda see why people would associate NPD traits with BPD but I do wish they were more understanding and empathic towards people with mental illnesses💔
I just wanted to say thanks. I bought your book a year ago and its actually doing me a world of good. I appreciate the dedication you have to this channel and people suffering with BPD..
My wife is very intetested in true crime and criminal profiling. She has admitted that she thinks there is a strong chance, that if i let myself, i could be a serial killer. She has told me, if you can't be proud of who you are, be proud of who you didn't let yourself be. I'm 20 months sober now and still feel no pride in that. It's difficult to feel pride when your view of yourself is so low. I'm reasured by this video that perhaps i'm not as bad as i see myself. Thank you Dr Fox. I feel some measure of relief.
!!! Read the update underneath, I was duped !!!! I began to suspect I had borderline. Turns out, I found out today, I have adhd (ADD) and high functioning autism (and a pretty high IQ). It's pretty obvious how that combination can result in serious frustration, which may or may not bring with it mood swings and acting out (although I myself don''t act out, except in my early childhood). People with adhd also often times receive a lot of criticism at a young age (because of acting out or not being able to get ready in time, etc etc), which can be traumatizing. For anyone suspecting you have bpd there might be an idea to look into adhd and autism. Update: I took the drugs and they fucked me up beyond recognition. After doing some digging and reflecting upon the process in which I was diagnosed the evidence doesn't hold up. There is no certainty that adhd/or high functioning autism in the way it is diagnosed and defined does in fact exist, but rather they seem to expressions of personality disorders or traits such as bpd. I am now convinced I am suffering from severe bpd traits and nothing else. Psychiatrists and psychologists in general seem to have no clue about how trauma works or how to treat it. Look up the youtube channel Patrick Teahan. He is great for trauma-work. And also, of course, keep checking out Daniel Fox. Don't be fooled by the adhd-lobby. Also hot/cold therapy/cold baths are a tremendous help for a calm state of mind.
I have all 3. I was first diagnosed in 1994, at the age of 14, with ADD and some memory issues. They had suspected dissociation and ADHD and were not far off but those were different times. I currently carry all 3 diagnoses and then some. Oh..I had also been labeled with ODD as a teen. Yeah, okay. Shitty circumstances and treatment don't equal to outstanding behavior and complete obedience.
I heard ODD has been a bit of a cop-out diagnose when it comes to adhd kids. Like you say, circumstances matter. I hope you've gotten better help since then. I got diagnosed just now, at 32. Looking forward to seeing what some medication can do.
I’ve been diagnosed with autism, but always suspected it might’ve been bpd, or both. i’ve been self harming since my teenage years and i’m now 34. 🤪 Though not that frequently etc. Besides having had major issues with impulsive buying, relationships/sex. A constant need for attention online, from guys mostly. Honestly not sure what I would rather have. 😆 Anyway dealing with my issues regardless. Maybe some day i will get re-evaluated or something.
Dr. Fox! You are saving lives with every video u make! I have been fighting BPD all by myself for the last 9 years (since diagnosed). I wish i knew about ur channel bit earlier. But anyways.... Thanks! You are my life jacket in the ocean of BPD negative voices in my head. Grateful! Please continue ur work!
Thank you for this video. I struggle with severe BPD and often feel like I’m a psychotic monster. Most days if not every day, I feel like everything I do is evil and bad, even if I did something objectively good! I often wondered if I wasn’t struggling with BPD but instead something worse (if there is such a thing) ((just kidding)) I wondered if I was psychotic. Turns out feeling evil or believing you’re evil is a highly common symptom of BPD!! Just wish I knew how to stop seeing myself that way…
Thank you Daniel, I have bpd and I asked myself a couple of times if I am a psychopath. Thank you for letting me know that I am not. It is very calming. Good luck to you!
Prof. Sam Vaknin explains that a bpd’r can split into a secondary psychopath. Check him out on YT. And I can personally say I experience going from extreme feelings and empathy to complete shut off & shut down of guilt and remorse, if a person abuses or pushes me too far. Sorry to burst Bubble
I am grateful that dr Fox invests so much of his energy, time and intelligence into understanding my diagnose. Not a lot of people truly want to help us. ❤️🙏 thank you so much dr Fox for believing and defending us ♥️ We have a hard time feeling accepted but when even mental health workers stigmatize your diagnose; it doesn’t make it better… so dr fox is an absolute angel 👼
Dr. Fox's videos and downloadable worksheets have been life changing (in a very positive way) for me. Along with My doctor, Dr. Fox's content has helped me identify my personality disorder and the triggers that effect my day to day living. I am extremely grateful for his uploads, and how specific they are. I hope he reads this comment because I really couldn't be more grateful & thankful for his work. Cheers mate 🙂
This is excellent. I married a psychopath and he had all of these traits (except physical violence). I had some BPD friends. this is a perfect compare and contrast.
i have BPD and ASPD and the sense of stimulation and prone to boredome is very annoying,i am always bored and further then that my anger is highly explosive if someone looks at me wrong i want to beat them up,let alone if someone says something to me that i consider wrong i see it as a oppertunity for a fight,and your right i dont see a future for myself,i might die tonight so live your life right now.
This was incredibly helpful for me. My mom has BPD and bipolar 2. It’s really hard to deal with especially with her recent dementia diagnosis. Learning about it and the why behind it is so good for perspective. Thank you for putting this out there
My friend Susan directed you to me almost a year ago. I bought your book, the BPD workbook, but I still haven’t put it in practice. New subscriber! I was toxic on my last relationship, but I couldn’t listen to an audiobook called Psychopath, it made feel a guilt trip & dissociate. I used to think I had psychopathic traits, but I’m also Bipolar. Anyhow thank you Dr Daniel J. Fox!!!
I have bpd and not antisocial personality disorder, but i used to think I had it because I do have what I like to call an emotion switch. When I get so overwhelmed with emotions, I can turn them off. I used to proud of this ability, but then it got me into lots of trouble. Not feeling guilt doesn’t get you very far. After living a couple of years with little to no emotions, I made a decision that I’d like to feel again. It’s been a journey since I’ve made that decision. My emotions are so strong, I felt the need to turn them off so I wouldn’t hurt anyone. But I was only hurting myself in the process. Now I’ve got a full spectrum of emotions that take over in the form of personalities when I’m overwhelmed, but I’d rather choose that than feeling nothing at all. I know I’ll eventually learn to get a handle on these feelings and when I do, I’ll be unstoppable! Emotions are power: don’t run from them embrace them! They are the best part of you 🌈
I used to worry that I was a sociopath when I was younger because I had very dark thoughts and fantasies that were rooted in an extreme rage I had towards society, but I could also feel intense empathy. It was very troubling and confusing to me, but I think that like you I had to emotion switch. The sorrow and pain would become too much to endure and so I had to enter into this aspect of my psyche that was like power hungry, sociopathic "badass" that made me feel like I was someone who mattered in some way. Almost everything I did in this aspect of my psyche was fantasy oriented, so I never acted on my darkest impulses (thank God) but I felt them on and off for years and years. I call it the monster/mouse syndrome, where I am either a scared, sensitive, weak little mouse or a fearless, ruthless, powerful badass. The monster is a defense mechanism to deal with the feelings of being the mouse.
@@williamkoscielniak7871 Wow. This comment just made me feel SOO much less alone. Everything you said here is EXACTLY to a T what i’ve felt & still do within this complex ass brain. I’ve spent so much time trying to almost kinda “decide” whether i wanted to b the mouse or the monster. & it only further complicated my sense of identity since mostly, i could not decide definitively whether i identify more as one or the other (between “good” or “bad”) as if i could not embody both. i also found that choosing the monster over mouse, was mostly decided after wanting to emulate certain characters in media like my fav films. it’s like i struggle so hard in knowing who i am as my own person so i try my best to take over the personality or certain traits of characters i love
I liked how you talked about getting “lost” in feelings. I do sometimes feel like I can feel others feelings especially if thy are sad. I didn’t realize I was sometimes taking those feelings on and in addition to my own. I think an added layer of guilt in the “confusion” really adds to a quick downward spiral for BPD. Mindful separation of feelings is so helpful!
Now I admit I had seen a video of yours where you seemed to skip aspd so I asserted you lacked knowledge in it. Im partly right, but you have an understanding greater than i gave you credit. I'm a diagnosed psychopath, but don't worry, I've got it under control - most of the time, anyway. I received my lovely label in my early 20s and have since learned to tame the beast within. I've got a partner in crime, a BPD beauty who keeps me on my toes. We're like two peas in a dysfunctional pod, complementing each other's crazy. I'm financially stable, so no need to rob a bank just yet. Our emotional connection is a rollercoaster, but hey, at least it's never boring. My partner's got a knack for emotionally manipulating people, often without even realizing it which is very useful. While our emotional depths may differ, our manipulative superpowers are eerily similar. And let's be real, being a psychopath isn't all bad - after all, it's not like I'm "sick" or anything, just wired differently. So while you are free to say as you wish not all Psychopaths are bums. I make my money the honest way. Then use it as I see fit. Also you left out that both tend to have drug use. Can't forget that one. I love the curtain of the internet. Normally I would of walked past it but since I'm invisible I decided to lend some insight. If you have any tips for lowering her need for attention I am all ears.
As someone with bpd I can understand why certain traits between the two disorders would be interlinked, in my case I have a lot of empathy and I’m very sensitive but when I’m triggered I will switch and honestly turn evil. can’t even believe the words coming out of my mouth myself. Truly like an out of body experience that’s then followed by remorse, guilt and shame because I’ve just broken the person/people i love because I couldn’t control my anger
What would be the best response someone close to you would give you in that moment? If you could dream, would there be anything that could calm you down or atleast get you out of that place of rage quicker?
I think he correctly said that people use the word psychopath as a colloquial term. What you described was much more of a problem for me as a teenager and young man. When drugs are introduced it can be a nightmare. I know that I am only one person, but I feel like I become a completely different person that is without mercy, honor, or decency when triggered. I really hate that term but it is what it is. I still to this day have a hard time comprehending the fact that I traumatized people for years if not for life. They most likely didn't deserve what they got, but I still feel like they did because they hurt me, even though I know I'm wrong. It's always pretty tempting to believe my own justifications for bad behavior. It took a long time for me to accept that while I am basically a normal person, I am technically not well. I always wished that those fractures in time could count for nothing but I've said and done things I couldn't take back. Some betrayals are easier to forgive than others but I doubt if a relationship can ever be the same once you've been terrified by your lover. I know that I am only one person with only one personality, and that I am not possessed by a demon or other entity. It's just a good metaphor.
I am 44 year old guy, who diognosed with BPD 3 years ago, and I am only starting dbt therapy in September this year. Thank you for all your excellent videos mr Daniel Fox. I only watch you as I feel I can connect with you and the way you explain things is top notch stuff. Your a legend mate. Thank you Ben makins London.
You’re very welcome and I’m glad that you find my material helpful and that you’re seeking help. I wish you all the best and please let me know how the DBT process goes for you. It can be life-changing for so many. Be well.
Hi Dr fox.its good to see you again I'm learning alot from you. On my bpd. I get hurt alot misunder standing people. But other than that my bpd don't get in the way. I'm learning how to handle it. Thanks for all your videos. We all have some kind of mental problems. We live in a stressful world.and when you been treated really bad you going have some mental problems.we have health problems our minds are part of the body. There nothing to be shame of.i no lots of people that has bpd and other problems that are very smart people and they hold high power full jobs. And alot of them has been married for years. I truly be leave that with God help and the love of others.and getting the help you need. Watching your videos. They can have a good life. I'm doing that in my own life. So people out there listen to Mr fox he's telling the truth. And you can and will get better I am. That's Mr fox for your videos they help so much. Most counselors don't understand bpd like you no. You truly a blessing !!!!
I think when it comes to bpd and the lack of responsibility for their actions- a lot of the time you feel so very hurt by whatever caused the outburst that you almost feel like .. the victim. Like however you acted is valid because of how much pain and fear they caused you and even after things have calmed down you will still look at that event and just remember whatever it was they said that scared you, made you feel alone, misunderstood, betrayed and if the other person tries to bring it up and get an apology or explain to you why it was inappropriate, it’s going to trigger you again, if you tell someone with bpd that they embarrassed you it will hurt them really bad, triggering the fear of abandonment. because that to us means. “You are embarrassing,” “ you ruin everything” “You’re not good enough” even though we feel guilt and remorse about everything it’s hard to express appropriately
Omg! You're spot on with the bpd empathy, and, getting lost. I have intense empathy, yet I'm sometimes told I appear to lack it or come across as unempathetic.
Narcissistic, psychopath, borderline personality all seem to have similarities in behavior (the underlying core content is the difference) thanks for breaking this all down. Can be very confusing.
@@cameron3869 did he not just give examples for both doing similar things but with completely different motives? They aren't completely different in the sense that they can look alike, but the reasons for the actions are truly completely different. Making them different from one another. If they weren't confusing to people then there would be no reason for his video.
Lol I'm diagnosed with BPD ADHD and im on the autism spectrum. I do have my bad days when my anger and frustration gets the best of me and i get days when i feel worthless and alone... But i have never hurt anyone physically and i don't think i could, i can't even kill a spider or a fly without crying and begging for forgiveness, my empathy is very high and i give and help all i can . Definitely not a psychopath 🥰 Love from Iceland 😊💜 And i want to add that I've called this the camelian disorder because i tend to become like the person im around so i have to be careful who i let into my life ...
It’s always really bothered and confused me that these two are in the same cluster, because they seem like opposites to me. One comes from a lack of emotion and interest in connecting with others and one comes from an over abundance of both. It seems like the implication is that those with bpd are willfully malicious and lack remorse and regard for others, rather than that they are stuck inside a whirlpool of chaos that inadvertently creates a lot of collateral damage. Contrary to this view they are often acutely aware of and very remorseful for those consequences, but simply lack the control to manage them. It wasn’t until I watched this video that I even understood why the disorders are conflated, but it makes sense now. I was afraid to watch this, but you really did a good job of exploring the connections and nuance here, and explaining the way that similar looking behaviors can be rooted in very different motivations. Well done, thank you.
This is possibly the best and clearest explanation/comparison out there! Great work💯 How about the pro-social psychopath that we've been hearing about lately?
I don’t know where my diagnosis belongs but I fear you have confirmed my old friends psychopathy and are confirming the need to continue to hold the barriers I have finally begun to build.
As someone who recently learned I am in the psycopathy spectrum, I found the video very insightful and learned a lot. I do wish people would learn that not all people that are in this spectrum are evil, soulless beings that one should be relieved to be so different from, (we are people too, after all lol... and some of us see the benefit in learning to control impulses and not being stereotypes...) but very educational nonetheless.
BPD EXTREME! Is Me! Thank you!!! Severe head injury at the age of six has also aggrivated life in general. I do have a great therapist though. On the phone once a week. Better than nothing. Quit my psychiatrist because he wanted me to take a dangerous medicine for me. Meds like that kill me. One that the mental health gave me still has my tongue sticking out of my mouth. Anyway, Thank you! Oh, I am learning how to recover much more quickly when I "loose it" in front of people. Living in a small town helps as I have a lot of incentive to improve. And backing from some awesome people. Though this broke no money life is educational and I have time to learn soooo much. Now I am running on as usual. Thank you again. There is quite a bit more to my story of 69 years. 🌹
thank u doctor, great content wish i had found u sooner like 10 years ago. i didn't have a diagnosis for my BPD back then and i wondered all the time what was wrong with me because I felt not normal. one minute i had no emotion and then tsunami of emotion. always stormy inside. now I'm a lot more whole inside and stable after putting myself through therapy and working to build a better inner world. I'm also aware of my psychopathic tendencies, when I'm splitting black i cant feel or empathize with anything, i can become easily distracted and listless and usually want to remedy these with food.
I needed this for clarity about a family member. Thank you. 🙏 For me, I get so confused. I have every symptom of BPD EXCEPT for the abandonment issue. I've been burned by people so many times that I just want everyone to leave me alone. I love my alone time and I adore my husband, but I don't cling to him ... which is odd because I am super emotional. I'm questioning a lot lately of where I fall on all B personalities. Trying to get a professional psych eval these days is near impossible.
Hey. Internal family systems therapy but that model was eye opening. It doesn.t seem so random however u feel this way. I wouldn.t be too hard on yourself. If you don.t mind there is a book i truly recommend. It is No Bad Parts. It is written by richard schwartz. )
Sometimes I feel like it would be so much easier for the people in my life and for the extreme pain inside of me, if I wasn’t here. I’m not suicidal, but the pain is so bad.
Recently started watching your videos, Dr. Fox. I'm on a painful journey right now trying to leave my ex who keeps trying to pull me back. Im starting to think i fall somewhere on the BPD spectrum, and at first i thought he could have BPD....but now as your breaking down the differences it's looking more like I'm dealing with psychopathy. This man has completely turned my life upside down in the last decade of marriage. Thank you for putting this information out there for people like me who are in difficult and chaotic relationships. It brings so much clarity, yet raises so many more questions that I will continue to research.
It was really good to listen to this over again, it has given me a new perspective. Im beginning to develop insight into my condition and the insights in this video have given clear distinctions between BPD and Psychopathy.
A person with bpd in active addiction can have that superficial charm to get their needs met. In active addiction I picked up toxic behaviors I learned from my late fiance who was higher in psychopathy if not a psychopath.. in and out of jail for sure. Manipulative cunning ... All that. Lacked empathy but had enough intelligence to make ppl feel connected.. narcissistic... Needed validation though.. pathological liar.. . All that
I completely agree. When I was using I had no problem lying or manipulating people but when my head is straight I can’t even tell a small lie without feeling guilty.
I have listened to most of your videos and so appreciate your support and insights on BPD. I appreciate your advocacy for folks with BPD by explaining how they are not "psychopaths" as the term is commonly used. But you made several statements in this video about psychopathy that do not reflect the research of professionals with expertise in psychopathy.
This video fascinates me to my core, because I have multiple mental disorders and they all manifest in me to a certain extent which make me (or anyone in general) who I (or they) are. A "psychopath" according to the world of psychology, is someone who is simply cold for lack of a better term. Someone who can't feel, which means that they find enjoyment in sadistic like behaviors towards others because why not? They can't feel anything. Some people mistake psychopaths with sociopaths only because the term "psychopath" was adopted by the movie industry and displayed it to the public for decades, which would explain the ignorance of the matter. Sociopaths are basically a watered down version of a psychopath that has a spectrum like anything else would from any point of view. Sociopaths have a co-occuring issue with narcissism and they are able to have a sociable relationship with another human being which is most likely for their benefit in some way. Psychopaths are unable to pretend and that's the main difference. I have personal experience with sociopaths and I can tell you that they are simply people who have no empathy and are confused as to why other people do. "We get no benefit from having empathy, so why display it?" Is the very thought that manifests in their psyche and as long as they aren't physically hurting anyone they are technically fine to think the way they want cause that's just who they are. However, the verbal abuse that comes with the lack of empathy towards people who do have the gift of empathy are damaged from the harsh realities of a sociopath, creating havok and trauma in the human brain. As far as that goes, it can in any direction because everyone is chemically different. It could affect them greatly or not at all depending on the individual. BPD usually stems from childhood trauma and it triggers the victim to have a fear and anxiety of abandonment because of their own personal pursuit of happiness (whatever that might be to them). Jeffrey Dahmer failed the psychopath test and was diagnosed with BPD because he longed the feeling of having his own personal companion that would never leave him, combined with his own sick and deranged fantasies. He most likely failed the psychopath test because there was a reason and emotion behind why he did what he did and it was twisted around to lead to his victim's unfortunate demise and suffering. He was considered "a regular guy" by his peers from his his high school days which shows possible sociopathic tendencies explaining the lack of empathy and benefiting from pretending in order to lure his victims. I know that this is an extremely long comment no one is going to take the time to read but I find comfort in sharing insight on what I know about the mind because I've had many experiences with different people and different mindsets. One day I hope that it can spread awareness and lead to less ignorance in this world. I also struggle with BPD and it lead me to learn why people act the way they do so I can be above it. People with BPD are generally victims of other people that have their own severe mental injury/retardation so I hope the people with good intentions find their way in this world. The secret is to be wary of their ignorance and rise above it.
Esto debería transmitirse a diario en cadena nacional. Es un fastidio encontrarse por todas partes a gente ignorante que acusa de psicópata a la gente con TLP.
Thank you. I have BPD and I'm really struggling at the moment with lack of self acceptance because I believe I'm evil or defective. Have felt this way since a small child. It's difficult for me to think any other way.
Just remember that your diagnosis doesn’t define you. You are a valuable person and not defected. Also trauma can make us feel that way so that may be where your feelings come from. DBT saved my life.
@Niphyra secondary psychopath is another term for people who displayed psychopathic traits but they are emotionally unstable and mercurial, unlike the cool and charming psychopaths who don’t feel much emotions are primary psychopaths.
I've dealt with BPD my whole life...it's dibillitating at timed..I have extremely black and white thinking..Dr. jeckll .Mr Hyde shit...made me feel crazy for many years.. honestly still does at times..the emotional emptiness is by far the scariest at times along with pure apathy and suicidal ideation..and violent intrusive thoughts...these things for me come at the push of a button..like something switched...then it will suddenly stop hour a two later...just stop on a dime...it's exhausting to say the least!!!!to all those suffering...you are not alone...and you are "ok"...there is nothing wrong with you..bless you guys.
I think this video may have saved my life. My ex has been gaslighting me into being terrified I was some kind of covert narcissist unworthy of love or companionship and readying myself to commit suicide. Every time she mistreats me, even just slightly, I'd spiral into doubting myself again, assuming the worst about me. I couldn't bring myself to self delete due to how it would hurt my sons and leave them alone in the world with a narcisssitic mother and extended family who ignores them entirely (my family has been gone since my teen years, drugs, suicide etc) . I hadn't seen anything so well presented to help me analyze my obvious bpd symptoms so effectively. I may be an asshole at times, but I've been drowning in empathy and guilt my entire life.
I feel like, people who suffer BPD, are also sensation seekers, they also need and look for high emotional stimulation, but in order to appease those really strong feelings of emptiness; is like constantly looking for either chaos or deep connections with people (or well maybe a chaos in order to reassure that there's a deep and real connection with someone, and prove that they won't leave you), or anything that can somehow fill that void. Eternal emotional hunger I call it. And also, at least myself, I don't handle that grey area of feeling okay really well, if nothing intense is happening, I will notice that emptiness, even though I'm feeling well, and I will do anything extreme to keep that void and emptiness away.
Thank you so much for your sensible and informative videos on BPD. So many so-called experts seem to be more interested in creating sensationalistic content and spreading misinformation about this illness that none of us asked for. I watch the video recently in which the creator use the film, fatal attraction to make her points, unhelpful, and frankly, silly use of popular films to inform us about our health condition just further isolate, people like myself and causes other people to be afraid of us and it is a horrible and lonely place to be. Again, I thank you so much for your informative, sensible and scientific look at a much miss understood condition that is not being helped by less responsible RUclipsrs. Can I apologise if this a response is grammatically incorrect or slightly in coherent as I am using the dictation at eight because of arthritis in my fingers causing me to struggle to take longer comments and responses to videos.
Thank you for your kind words! I'm glad my videos have been helpful to you. It's unfortunate that there is so much misinformation out there, but I'm here to provide accurate and sensible information about BPD. Keep watching and stay strong!
Thank you for making this video. I was watching some videos about Jodi Arias & noticed many people commenting about how she has BPD & that's why she murdered someone & it's so terrifying that some people really equate BPD with that level of depravity. BPD is so deeply misunderstood. Thank you again for sharing professional, honest content.
She was forensically diagnosed during the trial. She flew into an out of control (clearly) murderous rage when she believed Travis was abandoning her. Arias was not a psychopath. She was not driven by greed or power and control. Now, is that NOT indicative that everyone with BPD sees red and flies into a murderous rage, but I can tell you my sister has, one of my exboyfriend's did (I ended up with PTSD after the fact), and I've seen numerous people who struggle with true BPD rage issues admit that they're abusive, feel "stabby" when there in a BPD rage episode, and they're truly worry they're going to lose all control and kill someone (and then later regret the hell out of it). This does not mean that everyone with BPD traits, or even the full blown personality disorder, is severe enough to feel these same fears of their own out of control rage, but some do. I can post videos for you of people right here on RUclips, both male, and female, accurately diagnosed with BPD who have expressed this out of control rage, and fear of what they going to do to others. None of these people seem to pre-plan, it's more like a hot-headed sociopathic rage where they SNAP and destroy everything inside someone's home. Some have even said they fear they are going to hurt any pets that are present when they get that out of control rage. If you have never felt that way, that's probably a very good thing. I love my oldest sister with BPD but I will never again sleep under the safe roof with here. I won't even take a nap on the couch if she is in the house. I've made that mistake once before, and never will I make it again. You would NEVER believe what she is capable of if you met her, because she is so gorgeous, kind, compassionate, funny, athletic, but god help you and anyone else present if she flies into a BPD rage. She DOES physically attack others, then will disappear for a few years and will resurface later acting like nothing every happened. She says she "doesn't remember"....but if that were true, why does she disappear for years? If you push he long enough, she will admit she feels horrible about what she did. She is not financially exploitative in any manner, and she's not narcissistic at all. She was bulimic as a teen. Binge drinks to numb her emotions. Classic borderline stuff. Oh, and one threatened suicide. The good news is that YOU don't see yourself or your behavior at that severe/extreme level, and that is *Very* good news. However, not everyone can say the same. Some fear their inability to control that BPD rage is going to 40% of the prison populations in both the US and UK...both male and female...are people diagnosed with BPD. Those who have killed someone have almost always *snapped* and lost control, they don't methodically pre-plan the way psychopaths do, but they do stalk (some of them) and many are charged with domestic abuse/violence, and even more with substance abuse, and DUI (my sister has been to prison at least twice of which I'm aware, one time for almost running over a sheriff's deputy as he was writing a ticket for someone else on the side of the road...he dove out of her path and ended up only with a broken ankle, otherwise, she'd be in prison for life for voluntary manslaughter). I have a great deal of respect for those people with BPD who admit their rage is a real problem and who also ask for help and how to develop skills to try and manage it before it reaches the point of no return and they kill someone. That takes true honesty and courage to admit.
@@le_th_ Not every doctor involved in the trial believed she had BPD, it was 1 out of 3 of them. I think she was definitely motivated by greed & power & if you watch her on the stand she very clearly reacts condescendingly & in a subtle power-grabbing manner while being interrogated. For instance, when the attorney was questioning her & asking her specifically to use "yes" or "no" as answers, she then began using "of course" or other variations, just to grate him & to assert her power, & if she didn't care about power, she likely wouldn't have done that. She may have BPD but that's highly debated, & in my humble, unprofessional opinion, if she does, it's concurrent with some other things. I'm sorry about your experiences with a few people who have BPD, I know that some people don't do anything at all to help themselves & it's very sad because BPD is considered a HIGHLY treatable mental illness. Rage certainly is a characteristic of BPD but rage is also a normal human emotion, & while it's not ok for people to think about killing other people, I think many people have been so hurt, betrayed, or abused that they've then felt the desire to enact rageful retaliation, & most people who've felt that way don't have BPD. Rage occurs a lot in some people with BPD & what happens is it consumes them to the point where they can't regulate themselves (if not working on this facet) & then they unfortunately express it outwardly in destructive violence (at times.) It doesn't mean it's ok, but this can actually be completely healed in therapy if the person with BPD decides to work on it. I've seen this healing with my own eyes, it 100% happens.
@@daisylavenderlove lol Greed??? Oh that's funny. Even some people with BPD recognize she has BPD. Apparently, you don't know that some people with BPD genuinely fear murdering someone is one of their out of control rages, and that them snapping is going to alter their life forever. Let me know if you'd like me to post the video of the woman with BPD admitting that to a therapist. It's recorded and posted right here on RUclips. I think it was incredibly honest of her to admit it because not everyone with BPD will. They can be straight up maniacal. I'm guessing your one of those people with BPD who either has a milder form of it, and your all-or-nothing thinking patterns make you believe that "everyone" with BPD thinks and feels exactly as you do...or...your one of the maniacal ragers who hopes this info doesn't get out to the public at large. That wouldn't surprise me in the least. I respect the people with BPD who have the basic human decency to be honest about their out of control rage, and the danger it poses not only to them but also to others.
@@le_th_ lol idk how you're qualified to say what about me or my beliefs would "surprise" you, but I can tell you that I'm definitely not surprised by a random person on the internet acting like they can speak about who I am as a person, psychologically at that, based off of 2 youtube comments. Yes I'm sure some people with BPD are afraid they might snap & kill someone because BPD entails extreme emotional highs & lows in tandem with impulsivity. Are you surprised to know that not everyone who snaps & kills someone has BPD? Obviously BPD is spectrum & sometimes people with it do really horrible things, but what's more common for someone with BPD? Homicide or suicide? It's definitely the latter. That's not to say that people with BPD never kill others, I'm sure it's happened, but people with BPD more often self-harm, which Jodi (from all of our knowledge) doesn't have a history of, aside from "threats" of it, which can happen in narcissism too. That still doesn't mean that Jodi Arias has BPD for sure, or it's atleast not unanimous that she does. & like I said, if she does, it's probably concurrent with other disorders.
The borderline is not always psychopathic, the 'secondary psychopath' is released only when she rages. So it comes out in flashes. The rest of the time she's often presenting as very vulnerable.
Thank you for this video. It’s helpful to see the similarities and differences. My mom has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder and has had those diagnosed reaffirmed in subsequent interactions with mental health providers. I have noticed as I learn more about different thought and behavior patterns that she does fit the borderline patterns but also has significant narcissistic behavior patterns such as blatant exploitation and abuse of others with seemingly no remorse for doing so. If she does feel remorse, no one gets to see it. On the outside she presents calloused justifications and gaslighting (and more verbal and/or physical abuse) to anyone who pushes back on her behavior. Or she will flip the script and take the poor victim approach. She does appear to behave like a psychopath. Unfortunately, I don’t know what is true about her formative years because she has given different versions of her parents and family members depending on who she is talking to. Her sisters behave in similar ways, which lend credibility to dysfunction in their family environment. My mother’s mother had regularly shown coldness and callousness to me while she was alive- to the point that I stopped all contact with her once I became an adult and had more control of my life. I’ve heard similar accounts of her behavior to neighbors and people at church. Although they are probably not actual psychopaths, their behavior patterns are definitely in that overlap zone.
We’re not psychopaths so I don’t know why you need you use the word “probably”. Your mom is dead but seems like you’re still holding onto the past I would recommend you see a creditable therapist to work through some of that. It can be traumatic to love someone with BPD but just know that your mom did love you she was just a sick person.
@@tdob6067 I say probably in reference specifically to my mother (and her mom & sisters) because I’m not convinced that she ever did love me. My mother is very much alive and I stopped contact with her because of her blatant exploitation and abusive behavior towards me. I’ve been her literal and emotional punching bag for my whole life until about two years ago. She’s emphasized how deeply she relates to Andrea Yates and the actions she took to kill her children. She dumped me (and my siblings) off on whoever would take me until she said I was old enough to look after my siblings (9 years ago, btw), and then she would “go to the grocery store” for 6-8 hours at a time.
psychiatrists often misdiagnose. it doesnt matter tho. mainly you keep your proper boundaries in regard to her. she sounds like a covert narc to me. not BPD. but. if believing she has BPD gets her into therapy great. it may help her. narcs wont go. so, she might go.
Great video thanks DR Fox my EX I've known for 25 years has BPD they definitely I've been through a lot since her/there childhood some have massive defense mechanisms that come off very angrily with rageing psychosis and splitting episodes but my ex still has a lot of the empathy traits and we still talking she apologizes for everything from are past. Definitely you're right they're not psychopaths they just highly defend themselves from their past traumas
I loved a girl with bpd, undiagnosed but seemed to be quiet bpd. Iv heard many say they don’t actually have true empathy but see themselves in the things they “empathize” with. Everytime I see someone with bpd describe their empathy they bring up their own past and how they feel bad or shame . None of that is empathy , so I question if they can feel real empathy as some suggest. Seems they feel guilt, shame, bad etc but it embarrassed them and they can’t believe what they do, that’s not empathy. The girl I knew Months after in a post, said she had trouble defending herself (not really true since she was an aggressor and patronizing but she feels bad for herself so she doesn’t understand she isn’t the victim in present day reality ) and she listed some things that pointed to lots of self pity. I don’t see any bpd demonstrate true empathy ever, but they seem to think their bad feelings and shame are empathy for others.
I only realized this recently: I would argue with my girlfriend that she doesn't understand me when she says that I don't care, and so on. I don't want her to believe that I don't care or that I don't love her, etc. The only options I would see are to a) admit that she's right, that I am a terrible person who doesn't care about her and doesn't love her b) argue with her to defend my character, and persuade her that she is mistaken and should stop trying to mind-read me. I eventually found that this is a rock and a hard place! a) seems to lead to a breakup b) makes sense in the moment but built the impression that I refuse to be judged poorly and that I don't empathise with her doubts, etc. We found a better response: C) don't see accusations as insults. Accept and honour their emotional reality while being agnostic about their factual reality... THEN I might be invited to give my side of the story after I have verbally empathised with her
This is a terrible thing to say. As if we are all evil and will abuse our children. I will have children if I decide to, and as many as I want. I will love them and provide them with empathy, sensitivity, and understanding, because that is obviously something lacking in the world--and because that is the person I am. Not some evil monster. Not some abuser. Not some manipulative liar. And this goes for everyone with a Cluster B disorder; *we are just as human as you.*
They're not psychopaths , but when they split and have an episode they can certainly do psychopathic behaviors, the tragic part is its usually the people closest to them who mean a lot who get split on because of intense emotional impulses , or lack of control.
@Dyquan-zz7ep Absolutely. Once a most borderlines split they go into what's commonly referred to as " secondary psychopathy" but it's typically only under lots of stress or high emotions. This is not part of their normal behaviors though. It's a subconscious defense mechanism they had to develop as a "protector" as children in the face of tremendous abuse or neglect.
As someone who is borderline - what my therapist calls extreme impulsive borderline (whatever that means lol) I feel like being a psychopath would be easier sometimes, so maybe sometimes someone with BPD may try to act as a psychopath or adopt their tendencies. We have to recall and remember that borderline is not a disorder built in psychosis but more narchosis. We also have to recall that people with borderline have their own tool kit, and that tool kit involves high levels of manipulation. We may be manipulating people and coming off as almost psychotic but it's not truely psychotic. Not from a clinical sense. Also it's not that we don't feel guilt or empathy, we actually have hyper guilt and empathy.... But it's more like we act so impulsively that we do it anyways and then beat ourselves up later over it.
I've heard you say about the spectrum of BPD. I asked my friend who is an art therapist about that and she said the only time she hears talk of spectrums is with autism. So what I asked her was can a person with BPD be at a different spectrum than someone else. My daughter is diagnosed with BPD and I'm pretty sure I'm struggling with it too. I guess I'm asking if you could do a video on the spectrum levels of BPD. Please 🙏🥺
I think there is a spectrum with BPD.. in the sense of how severely the BPD interferes with the persons functioning in each area of their life. Most spectrums are based on how much an illness/disease/disorder affects functioning. People can also have "BPD *traits* " but not have a full BPD diagnosis. This is based on the criteria list in the 'Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders' book. :)
All personality disorders are spectra. Well, even mood disorders are. It's not all black and white--- more like a lot of grey. Even anxiety disorders fall on spectra because the intensity of symptoms are different for everyone and not everyone has all the symptoms associated with a particular anxiety disorder.
I think it's all a spectrum. Mental illnesses are just exaggerated version of what everyone feels at one time or another. Everyone feels what it's like to be angry at some point, but that doesn't mean everyone has anger management disorders, and everyone knows what it's like to feel hungover, but that doesn't mean everyone is an alcoholic. Everyone knows what it's like to feel anxious or depressed, but that doesn't mean everyone has an anxiety disorder or a depressive disorder. So all mental "disorders" exist on a spectrum from most extreme to least extreme. It's just that they aren't called disorders unless someone is far enough along on that spectrum.
My wife seems to be a spot match for Quiet BPD and the total opposite of psychopathy (the only similarity is lying but the motivation for lying is quite different) ..and so are the miss truths
Personally, when I was in school, I was the one getting bullied. I was an easy target because I learned early on to just sit there and take it. I was well into adult-hood before I learned to fight back.
Weirdly, my ex presented with all of those traits, often cycling or acting in contradictory ways from day to day, even within conversation and rage attacks. What's your thoughts on secondary psychopathy and BPD switching to a psychotic state when a perceived "attack" (abandonment for example) is imminent?
Sam Vaknin claims bpd includes secondary psychopathy per recent research. however I know there are BPD diagnosed people who seem to lack this. I suspect several distinct disorders get lumped into the BPD diagnosis everything from cpstd, sociopathy, did, and substance addiction.
I'm a diagnosed psychopath. I think normal people are toxic asf. You guys are so devided! I've dated all races and all genders and not capable of feeling negative
I can't ever get to "how was it in the relationship" because I've been so conditioned to ignore the reality of the dismal situation and instead love despite the legitimate pain caused by someone I deeply love out of compassion, loyalty and very profound understanding & belief that they are doing the best they can. The fact it's not enough (causes extreme pain & an erosion of self worth and overwhelming feelings of neglect) doesn't get put into the equation because all that matters is the Other is hurting and lost. I realize how fucked up that sounds and yet it's my reality... this goes back to loving a mother who tried to kill herself in my presence more than once - and more than once saving her life. Loving someone so important to your own survival and needing their love in return but understanding on a soul level they can't EVER reciprocate sets you up to love in a manner that is sure to bring heartache and suffering. Truly 💔'ing. Those with BPD Suffer so greatly 😞 my mother finally found peace in ending her life.
Hi Dr Fox. A very interesting topic. I am very interested to hear about Emotional IQ as that relates to both psychopaths and people with BPD. I understand that it is said that IQ cant be changed but EQ can be. As far as psychopathy not being treatable would that statement (ie EQ can be changed)be false in the case of psychopaths)?
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I think a lot of sufferers of BPD wish we could be psychopathic. It would be less painful/we'd be able to let go of our issues or past traumas and fears and just move on.
Get therapy.
I have bpd and I would have to agree. My dream is to not feel 😅
This.
Absolutely. I'm filled with anxiety practically 24/7 and psychopaths seem to not feel that at all.
When you are someone who is ostracized by society to begin with just for presenting as your true self and are bpd it is exponentially amplified. To be psychopathic, even for a day would be such a vacation.
For someone with BPD who's always thought they had that little evil trait, this video sure did me justice.
Gandi beat his wife before he became a symbol of peace
Just saying!
I think I have BPD I often feel like an out of control kid who is asking to be seen and understood even when I'm raging, psychopaths seem like people who never acted like a kid even when they were a kid lol
@@Uvvibes what for real where did you learn that...my sister said the same thing about John Lennon
Same
Bpd - shame, guilt and remorse may not be evident right away, but it hits later, HARD. Its overwelmingly painful to reflect on what you've done.
I noticed the following: Psychopaths have low activity of the amydala and express less emotion, they also commonly have lower cortisol levels (i.e. low reaction to stresses). However, with borderline perdsonality disorder they were found to have high activity of the amydala, express intense emotional sensitivity (i.e. mood instability, including major depression or/and rage) and tend to have a higher cortisol level (i.e. high reaction to stresses).
This makes a lot of sense. A family member of mine got diagnosed with BPD and from my interactions with them, they were always very emotionally driven. People always explain BPD in one lens, so thank you for sharing this information.
Yeah this is why I think my mom has some psychopathy. Initially my therapist assumed my mom was BPD and the first thing I thought about was the emotionality of BPD and my mom has shown very little fear in my life and I honestly don't think I've ever seen her cry. I've watched her bold faced lying to police officers 3 times and they believed her !... Yeah personally I think there are alot more psychopaths right now than we think there are
@@alllifematters 1 in 100 are supposed to be psychopaths and 1 in 25 suppose to be sociopaths. When acting upon someone else in a revengeful manner sociopaths react quickly but psychopaths don't react at all until they have thought out carefully and calculated their revenge. Revenge from a psychopath could be years later, holding the grudge and not forgetting what annoyed them. Saying this, both are very impulsive, callous, risk takers, lie, but the worst part is their deceptive ability.
@@alllifematters It is the narcissists who are the real psychopaths! So does your mom
@@charlotteb2578 no, it's the other way around!
This was really informative and helpful. For a time after receiving my BPD diagnosis, I obsessively read about BPD and saw a lot of people saying that BPD was essentially a form of psychopathy. I internalized this and came to believe myself to be evil and psychopathic.
I'm not, though my BPD was severe and I had a history of conduct issues.
Thank you for your continued videos. They've helped me grow insight and grow as a person
You’re welcome ☺️
Be your own best friend, not your worst enemy. Take care.
@@JoseRRodriguez Jung ISNT God ,in the Bible Gods word Jesus says the heart of man is decietfully wicked!Watch Bill Weise 23 minuets in hell on you tube and SEE what God is trying to save you from!Be blessed!
Not everyone who is a psychopath and sociopath aren’t evil they are human too however some of them can do evil things and not feel anything about. The ones that are prison are the ones who arent very smart. Freedom is more important than anything else at least for me than anything than else.
Remorse is the key, I think
I think, because I grow up with both psycopaths & BPD people, I hade no "firewall" to detect this kind of people, so I have met many psycopaths, ruined my life. And also I was programmed to "serve" this kind of people, which attracted them. Now I just want to be alone.
Same
Experienced same,
"This kind of people"..
What do you mean? " psycHopaths or people with bpd?
Thanks to put us all in the same box, and thanks to let such a message like this on a channel dedicated to help bpd people to not diabolizing ourselves.
Very appropriate😑
@@renacleerican7824the comment specifies psychopaths within the same sentence you're referring to.
I am so excited and grateful for this topic! Not only will it finally put an end to the confusion which up to now has led the two to be lumped together, but it will also help people with BPD become more aware of the internal splitting they experience which causes them to believe they are "evil".
It doesn't help that other people think we're evil. It makes everything even worse.
What I’ve noticed from Dr Fox is that he’s always been a huge advocate for BPD folks and that is so beautiful! I’m not diagnosed with BPD but I have a lot of things going on for a long time, and BPD the quiet type feels relatable to me. I guess my point is thank you Dr. Fox.
Yeah, I guess he hasn't had his life destroyed by one.
Doctor Fox is a truly authentic sweet man.
I can understand if you have had your life destroyed by someone with BPD, It's hard to see them in a good light.
Having had my life destroyed by narcissist and psychopaths, for example doctor Ruth, the younger one, on youtube, dr. Ruth sees the good in narcissist. It's rather difficult watching her content, And other psychologists who advocate for narcissists, hard to stomach them too.
It is hard Not, to love Genuine Dr. Fox🥰
Absolutely, it’s so good to be regarded with compassion and to be validated and not seen as just a crazy person is just so helpful I just can’t express how helpful it’s been.
@@Boomboom-xm5su no as an experienced clinician, licensed expert, writer, lecturer and trainer, he is capable of identifying real psychiatric disorders traits or propensities , discerning their symptom strength and severity and distinguish this all from the colloquial misconceptions overgeneralization and general ignorance that characterize most armchair diagnosticians on social media
@@Nevermor3music well that would certainly run counter to his mission as a counselor licensed psychologist writer clinician and most importantly educator.. people diagnosed with BPD are among the most misaligned on the planet. Perhaps it’s time those around them stop pointing fingers based upon highly subjective reactivity mired in inaccurate “ professional “ information now reinterpreted and redacted and revisit their experiences based upon what we now understand and more importantly seek therapy themselves to understand the role they themselves played or play in the dynamic although they have not ever submitted themselves to possible “ evaluation/ diagnosis “
Except in prison, you're looking at the people who get CAUGHT. They're low-functioning psychopaths. The psychopath charms his way out of that nonsense.
Sometimes I used to exaggerate the things I did because I wanted school friends to like me, I did feel terribly embarrassed and guilty. My mother made me feel worthless I wasn't even allowed to sit at the dinner table. So I compensated by spinning these great places I visited in the mean time I had never done such a thing. Its dreadful when , to make oneself feel your okay, you exaggerate your life, which felt meaningless. I feel sad for those days I felt the need to do that. 😔
Don't beat yourself up over it, it's common in BPD
Hugs @u@
I’m so sorry your mom did that to you.
When I was younger I was really scared that I might be a sociopath because I had a dark side to me that was infatuated with criminals/villians and idolized some scary people, and I could become so deeply filled with rage and desire vengeance. But I also could feel empathy, and sometimes too damned much of it. So it confused me.
Over time I realized that I simply was deeply traumatized and that different aspects of my psyche were stuck at different stages and learned to cope in different ways. There was a terrible sorrow in me that I couldn't handle and so I had to wall myself off from it and in turn I would feel anger and then (usually with the help of alcohol) hatred. I think I idolized certain people who were violent and lashed out at society because I wished that I had the ability to stand up for myself and feel like I had some respect, and because I had almost no ability to deal with confrontation or stand up for myself, I would become really resentful and then I would drink and idolize terrible people and fantasize that I had that type of respect, power, and recognition because I felt so damned inferior, powerless, and invisible. My fantasy life was the antithesis of my actual lived life. In the real world I couldn't function or seem to do anything right, so I had to somehow try and convince myself that somehow I actually mattered, and so I'd imagine being somebody while feeling like I was actually nobody.
That was interesting and relatable in some ways. I hope you were able to bring the different parts of yourself into more harmony.
This is really interesting to me, as someone with BPD who is also on the ASPD spectrum.
Contrary to many people's opinions, I never feared I was "psychopathic" because of my BPD, but rather, I actually thought I COULDN'T have ASPD or be Sociopathic BECAUSE I have BPD and there were too many opposites.
I have all 9 diagnostic criteria for BPD. I'm 43 and had no idea that I had it until a few years ago. My most outwardly problematic behaviours and patterns of instability were from age 16 to my early 30s. Self harm, explosions of anger and abuse, and frequent "splitting". BUT...these destructive traits only came out to my "Favourite Person". No one else. Nobody would EVER have suspected I had any issues like that. I hid everything, was very good at putting on facade, at acting, and could turn my explosions on and off like a switch. The hideous FEELINGS were still there, but I just behaved normally. (Not because I was some sort of bully in private and who wanted to look good in front of other people, but because I found it painfully embarrassing to show ANY negative emotions in front of anyone except my Favourite Person. So they got it all. Lucky them! lol)
I did ALWAYS take responsibility and ownership once I was "myself" again, but for many years, it was a pattern of hideous behaviour, apologising and owning it, and then doing it again.
I mention my age because the manifestations of my BPD have changed somewhat. I used to CONSTANTLY seek external validation, admiration, reassurance, comfort, and attention. Now, I am just SO VERY bored. All the time. Nothing brings me pleasure. I no longer seek out attention because it does nothing for me anymore. I sleep most of the day to avoid feeling like this. So horribly empty. I used to be a shopaholic, love thrill rides, and was quite adventurous, without fear. Now...no. Bored.
I know longer outwardly explode. I learned that I CAN control my behaviour and that it's just not worth the outbursts as it always made everything worse.
I'm still internally unstable though, and can get into inner rages with violent thoughts and hateful intentions towards ONLY my Favourite Person. No one else. (I'm irritable, impatient and intolerant of most people, but that's not the same thing.)
I feel DEEPLY and am hyper sensitive and can be reactive to my FP. I have huge levels of empathy for them, as well as 3 other people in my life who I really love, and ALL animals. I feel enormous love, guilt, fear of losing them, and I'm protective of them. But no one else. I don't care about anyone else. (I still have high cognitive empathy for people though. I understand how they think and feel. But I don't care.)
Which brings me to the ASPD side of things. I would be in jail if I'd ever been caught for my various crimes. I don't care. I just want what I want. I crave money and power, because to me, they equate to control and freedom. And a part of me wants to feel superior. Also, I'm smart, but lazy. So I've done things to "earn money" that were illegal, and only stopped some of them when I had to (when the risks became too great. I refuse to ruin my life.)
I did hurt certain animals as a kid...a baby bird, and I burnt and killed snails on a BBQ. I didn't do it for excitement. It was just interesting to observe them. I had 2 cats that I grew up with, and who I loved DEEPLY. I didn't associate my love for animals with the snails or the bird.
I lie as easily as I tell the truth. Sometimes I don't even have a reason for it. I just talk and stuff comes out. Again, I don't care. Other more purposeful times I lie to avoid getting in trouble, to get what I want, to feel superior, or for non-ASPD reasons, to avoid hurting, stressing out or disappointing my few loved ones.
I have a parasitic lifestyle. I don't work and never wanted to. I am an opportunist who will appear to be "normal" and "decent" with paying bills and such, but I'll often find ways to avoid paying. Because I don't want to "lose" money on things I don't value. Like bills. I never do any housework, washing or cooking. Nope.
I feel like the deep motivation behind ASPD behaviour is wants, and the deep motivation behind BPD behaviour is fears. I have both, entangled.
I also feel like, unless I deeply love someone or they're my FP, I am dormant in terms of the BPD, but high on the ASPD spectrum. Because I don't care.
I also have co-morbidities like long term anxiety (since age 4), CPTSD, OCD, and Major Depressive Disorder.
Aaaaaand clearly I enjoy talking about myself! lol
We are exactly the same
It's like you describe me...literally. Except for the love part, I can't feel that deep love for "love partner", never felt that, it was just stupid obsession, idealising, and try to fulfil MY needs... BTW I have ADHD, narcissistic and antisocial tendencies. I do not feel empathy for real people in real life, I simply don't care. But I'm hyper sensitive, hyper anxious and paranoid. But I felt sad even can cry when I read something bad about someone, bad news etc. I read that's projectification...but not sure what actually it is.. I feel something definitely, but I think I have alexitymia can't describe what exactly I feel, name feelings.. 90% of my feelings are anger, rage and anxiety, anxiety.
I’m not sure you have ASPD… I’m not a doctor but you have empathy for those you love so kinda contradicts ASPD.
I really recommend we don’t try to dissect ourselves too much and focus on improving our quality of life. DBT helped me a lot. I still have issues but I feel more in control these days. I honestly don’t think you’re a bad person at all. Sounds like you’re doing your best to survive. I wish you well.
@@tdob6067 sociopaths have empathy for some close people, that's selective empathy. Every person have cognitive empathy.
I have BPD, and also watch a lot of true crime documentaries and it breaks me to see so many police and investigators and just people in those professions make direct links and statements about the murderers having bpd or personality disorders - saying that was the cause and reasons for them to harm and murder or just simply the reason for their behaviour being so flawed - a way to tarnish the whole community with the same brush.. thank you so much for this video 🙏🏼
Narh it is the bpd because I wouldn’t have been capable of what I needed to do before bpd
when i was getting diagnosed years ago, a doctor told me she did not and COULD not diagnose me with BPD because she didn’t see me as being ‘dangerous’ enough. as if people w bpd are a danger and a menace to society.
she said it like it was a horrible diagnosis .. now, years later and in DBT, i don’t mind my diagnosis of having BPD (which 2 psychiatrists have diagnosed me with) and i am so grateful for your videos! ❤️
cheers to all the borderlines thriving! IT IS POSSIBLE. right therapist, right meds, right lifestyle (not saying there is a right or wrong) i could say, a HEALTHY lifestyle. with balance and believing in oneself!
once again, thanks dr Fox💓
Also, can we PLEASE stop making people into their diagnosis?
Nobody is A Borderline. Nobody is A Schizophrenic.
We’re all human beings with a set of symptoms that doctors decided to group under that disorder.
Making people into their diagnoses dehumanizes them.
Thank you.
May I ask wich meds helped you?
I ve been diagnosed with bpd( quite severe), and been prsecribed Abilify and Xanax..
Though I didnt feel ok under this substances so I ve stopped it.
I am currently back in my old addictions( hash and alcohol..), wich always been my own medecines( very unproductive😢).
I really want my brain to stop torturing me; what helped you?
As someone with BPD, I actually related to the psychopath on the level of boredom. Im very bored all the time. I find entertainment in nothing and very much a sensation seeker.
Yes , this is the only trait of psychopaths that I feel related to. It's also an innocent trait, so 🤷
Boredom is a symptom of dysfunction of dopamine centers, often people who are addicts get these symptoms when they quit their addiction when they stop smoking weed or stop using alcohol, anyway the dopamine reward center is impaired and needs to be repaired. The brain needs 6 months to recover.
@@luisaritosa9700 well im not an addict for anything so i think its just broke lol. but i have bp1 and adhd as well
@@sparklingloveandlightI'm psychopathic and a person with bpd will suffer greatly dealing with us because we don't like clinginess and we don't give attention unless we getting something out of it so if the borderline isn't 100% submitted to us most times they won't they will get destroyed
@@Fabian6980 It is the narcissists who are the real psychopaths, what about you, are you a narcissist
I can relate to the psychopathic profile as I know someone with some of those traits. I suffer from BPD and I have ended some relationships recently. I realized that I was "mirroring" that person, although that experience helped me discover certain skills I didn't know I had, but I also realized that my life became empty because I focused everything on that person. Nobody will ever be there as much as you need and nobody can ever be responsible for your happiness or fulfillment.
Now there is me who is in love with a psychopath.
I hv not yet seen -ve traits on her but zmshe openly told me, en warned me to b keen.
I don't kno if to dump her or not
I hate the common mis-informed connection made between BPD & Narcissistic Disorder. If we were narcissistic we wouldn't empathise with others so readily, nor feel other people's emotions or atmospheres. Gives us genuine sufferers of BPD a bad name - like we need that! I get we're not easy individuals to love but we're not all bad, we have awesome qualities and it's about time someone on utube spoke up for us!
Most people with BPD I’ve met seem to be able to empathize….just not when they are responsible for the incident. This is a characteristic on a narc. I think this is how the common dual diagnosis occurs. However, it’s also a debate based on the fact that most narcs will never allow themselves to be evaluated and diagnosed, so how do we gather data to prove that having both is not common.
people with NPD LACK empathy. It's not that they don't have empathy at all. They just use their "empathy" for their own gain if course. Borderline people can have too much and not enough empathy especially during the bad times.
The other traits that overlap is fear of abondenment.
I can kinda see why people would associate NPD traits with BPD but I do wish they were more understanding and empathic towards people with mental illnesses💔
I just wanted to say thanks. I bought your book a year ago and its actually doing me a world of good. I appreciate the dedication you have to this channel and people suffering with BPD..
My wife is very intetested in true crime and criminal profiling. She has admitted that she thinks there is a strong chance, that if i let myself, i could be a serial killer. She has told me, if you can't be proud of who you are, be proud of who you didn't let yourself be. I'm 20 months sober now and still feel no pride in that. It's difficult to feel pride when your view of yourself is so low. I'm reasured by this video that perhaps i'm not as bad as i see myself. Thank you Dr Fox. I feel some measure of relief.
!!! Read the update underneath, I was duped !!!! I began to suspect I had borderline. Turns out, I found out today, I have adhd (ADD) and high functioning autism (and a pretty high IQ). It's pretty obvious how that combination can result in serious frustration, which may or may not bring with it mood swings and acting out (although I myself don''t act out, except in my early childhood). People with adhd also often times receive a lot of criticism at a young age (because of acting out or not being able to get ready in time, etc etc), which can be traumatizing.
For anyone suspecting you have bpd there might be an idea to look into adhd and autism.
Update: I took the drugs and they fucked me up beyond recognition. After doing some digging and reflecting upon the process in which I was diagnosed the evidence doesn't hold up. There is no certainty that adhd/or high functioning autism in the way it is diagnosed and defined does in fact exist, but rather they seem to expressions of personality disorders or traits such as bpd. I am now convinced I am suffering from severe bpd traits and nothing else. Psychiatrists and psychologists in general seem to have no clue about how trauma works or how to treat it. Look up the youtube channel Patrick Teahan. He is great for trauma-work. And also, of course, keep checking out Daniel Fox. Don't be fooled by the adhd-lobby. Also hot/cold therapy/cold baths are a tremendous help for a calm state of mind.
I have all 3. I was first diagnosed in 1994, at the age of 14, with ADD and some memory issues. They had suspected dissociation and ADHD and were not far off but those were different times. I currently carry all 3 diagnoses and then some. Oh..I had also been labeled with ODD as a teen. Yeah, okay. Shitty circumstances and treatment don't equal to outstanding behavior and complete obedience.
Ramón Rodriguez He seems like a great soutce of information, found out about him acouple of months ago! Thanks for sharing.
I heard ODD has been a bit of a cop-out diagnose when it comes to adhd kids. Like you say, circumstances matter. I hope you've gotten better help since then. I got diagnosed just now, at 32. Looking forward to seeing what some medication can do.
thanks
I’ve been diagnosed with autism, but always suspected it might’ve been bpd, or both. i’ve been self harming since my teenage years and i’m now 34. 🤪 Though not that frequently etc. Besides having had major issues with impulsive buying, relationships/sex. A constant need for attention online, from guys mostly. Honestly not sure what I would rather have. 😆 Anyway dealing with my issues regardless. Maybe some day i will get re-evaluated or something.
Dr. Fox! You are saving lives with every video u make! I have been fighting BPD all by myself for the last 9 years (since diagnosed). I wish i knew about ur channel bit earlier. But anyways.... Thanks! You are my life jacket in the ocean of BPD negative voices in my head. Grateful! Please continue ur work!
I sure will and thank you.
Thank you for this video. I struggle with severe BPD and often feel like I’m a psychotic monster. Most days if not every day, I feel like everything I do is evil and bad, even if I did something objectively good! I often wondered if I wasn’t struggling with BPD but instead something worse (if there is such a thing) ((just kidding)) I wondered if I was psychotic. Turns out feeling evil or believing you’re evil is a highly common symptom of BPD!! Just wish I knew how to stop seeing myself that way…
Thank you Daniel, I have bpd and I asked myself a couple of times if I am a psychopath. Thank you for letting me know that I am not. It is very calming. Good luck to you!
Prof. Sam Vaknin explains that a bpd’r can split into a secondary psychopath. Check him out on YT. And I can personally say I experience going from extreme feelings and empathy to complete shut off & shut down of guilt and remorse, if a person abuses or pushes me too far. Sorry to burst Bubble
I am grateful that dr Fox invests so much of his energy, time and intelligence into understanding my diagnose. Not a lot of people truly want to help us. ❤️🙏 thank you so much dr Fox for believing and defending us ♥️ We have a hard time feeling accepted but when even mental health workers stigmatize your diagnose; it doesn’t make it better… so dr fox is an absolute angel 👼
Dr. Fox's videos and downloadable worksheets have been life changing (in a very positive way) for me. Along with My doctor, Dr. Fox's content has helped me identify my personality disorder and the triggers that effect my day to day living. I am extremely grateful for his uploads, and how specific they are. I hope he reads this comment because I really couldn't be more grateful & thankful for his work. Cheers mate 🙂
That was so interesting. See, I knew BPD was not psychopathy. I'm glad to know the differences. Thank you!
This is excellent. I married a psychopath and he had all of these traits (except physical violence). I had some BPD friends. this is a perfect compare and contrast.
I’m so glad you found this helpful. Be well.
I really have been learning a lot about my BPD and you have given me a lot of hope.
i have BPD and ASPD and the sense of stimulation and prone to boredome is very annoying,i am always bored and further then that my anger is highly explosive if someone looks at me wrong i want to beat them up,let alone if someone says something to me that i consider wrong i see it as a oppertunity for a fight,and your right i dont see a future for myself,i might die tonight so live your life right now.
This was incredibly helpful for me. My mom has BPD and bipolar 2. It’s really hard to deal with especially with her recent dementia diagnosis. Learning about it and the why behind it is so good for perspective. Thank you for putting this out there
My friend Susan directed you to me almost a year ago. I bought your book, the BPD workbook, but I still haven’t put it in practice. New subscriber! I was toxic on my last relationship, but I couldn’t listen to an audiobook called Psychopath, it made feel a guilt trip & dissociate. I used to think I had psychopathic traits, but I’m also Bipolar. Anyhow thank you Dr Daniel J. Fox!!!
Vsauce?
I have bpd and not antisocial personality disorder, but i used to think I had it because I do have what I like to call an emotion switch. When I get so overwhelmed with emotions, I can turn them off. I used to proud of this ability, but then it got me into lots of trouble. Not feeling guilt doesn’t get you very far. After living a couple of years with little to no emotions, I made a decision that I’d like to feel again. It’s been a journey since I’ve made that decision. My emotions are so strong, I felt the need to turn them off so I wouldn’t hurt anyone. But I was only hurting myself in the process. Now I’ve got a full spectrum of emotions that take over in the form of personalities when I’m overwhelmed, but I’d rather choose that than feeling nothing at all.
I know I’ll eventually learn to get a handle on these feelings and when I do, I’ll be unstoppable! Emotions are power: don’t run from them embrace them! They are the best part of you 🌈
Thank you for your comment. I wish you all the best.
@@DrDanielFox Thank you! 😃
I used to worry that I was a sociopath when I was younger because I had very dark thoughts and fantasies that were rooted in an extreme rage I had towards society, but I could also feel intense empathy. It was very troubling and confusing to me, but I think that like you I had to emotion switch. The sorrow and pain would become too much to endure and so I had to enter into this aspect of my psyche that was like power hungry, sociopathic "badass" that made me feel like I was someone who mattered in some way. Almost everything I did in this aspect of my psyche was fantasy oriented, so I never acted on my darkest impulses (thank God) but I felt them on and off for years and years. I call it the monster/mouse syndrome, where I am either a scared, sensitive, weak little mouse or a fearless, ruthless, powerful badass. The monster is a defense mechanism to deal with the feelings of being the mouse.
@@williamkoscielniak7871 Wow. This comment just made me feel SOO much less alone. Everything you said here is EXACTLY to a T what i’ve felt & still do within this complex ass brain. I’ve spent so much time trying to almost kinda “decide” whether i wanted to b the mouse or the monster. & it only further complicated my sense of identity since mostly, i could not decide definitively whether i identify more as one or the other (between “good” or “bad”) as if i could not embody both. i also found that choosing the monster over mouse, was mostly decided after wanting to emulate certain characters in media like my fav films. it’s like i struggle so hard in knowing who i am as my own person so i try my best to take over the personality or certain traits of characters i love
I liked how you talked about getting “lost” in feelings. I do sometimes feel like I can feel others feelings especially if thy are sad. I didn’t realize I was sometimes taking those feelings on and in addition to my own. I think an added layer of guilt in the “confusion” really adds to a quick downward spiral for BPD. Mindful separation of feelings is so helpful!
Dr. Fox your videos are highly highly appreciated especially since it’s hard talking to people a lot of times
Now I admit I had seen a video of yours where you seemed to skip aspd so I asserted you lacked knowledge in it. Im partly right, but you have an understanding greater than i gave you credit. I'm a diagnosed psychopath, but don't worry, I've got it under control - most of the time, anyway. I received my lovely label in my early 20s and have since learned to tame the beast within. I've got a partner in crime, a BPD beauty who keeps me on my toes. We're like two peas in a dysfunctional pod, complementing each other's crazy. I'm financially stable, so no need to rob a bank just yet. Our emotional connection is a rollercoaster, but hey, at least it's never boring. My partner's got a knack for emotionally manipulating people, often without even realizing it which is very useful. While our emotional depths may differ, our manipulative superpowers are eerily similar. And let's be real, being a psychopath isn't all bad - after all, it's not like I'm "sick" or anything, just wired differently. So while you are free to say as you wish not all Psychopaths are bums. I make my money the honest way. Then use it as I see fit. Also you left out that both tend to have drug use. Can't forget that one. I love the curtain of the internet. Normally I would of walked past it but since I'm invisible I decided to lend some insight. If you have any tips for lowering her need for attention I am all ears.
As someone with bpd I can understand why certain traits between the two disorders would be interlinked, in my case I have a lot of empathy and I’m very sensitive but when I’m triggered I will switch and honestly turn evil. can’t even believe the words coming out of my mouth myself. Truly like an out of body experience that’s then followed by remorse, guilt and shame because I’ve just broken the person/people i love because I couldn’t control my anger
What would be the best response someone close to you would give you in that moment? If you could dream, would there be anything that could calm you down or atleast get you out of that place of rage quicker?
I think he correctly said that people use the word psychopath as a colloquial term. What you described was much more of a problem for me as a teenager and young man. When drugs are introduced it can be a nightmare. I know that I am only one person, but I feel like I become a completely different person that is without mercy, honor, or decency when triggered. I really hate that term but it is what it is. I still to this day have a hard time comprehending the fact that I traumatized people for years if not for life. They most likely didn't deserve what they got, but I still feel like they did because they hurt me, even though I know I'm wrong. It's always pretty tempting to believe my own justifications for bad behavior.
It took a long time for me to accept that while I am basically a normal person, I am technically not well. I always wished that those fractures in time could count for nothing but I've said and done things I couldn't take back. Some betrayals are easier to forgive than others but I doubt if a relationship can ever be the same once you've been terrified by your lover. I know that I am only one person with only one personality, and that I am not possessed by a demon or other entity. It's just a good metaphor.
I am 44 year old guy, who diognosed with BPD 3 years ago, and I am only starting dbt therapy in September this year.
Thank you for all your excellent videos mr Daniel Fox.
I only watch you as I feel I can connect with you and the way you explain things is top notch stuff. Your a legend mate.
Thank you
Ben makins
London.
You’re very welcome and I’m glad that you find my material helpful and that you’re seeking help. I wish you all the best and please let me know how the DBT process goes for you. It can be life-changing for so many. Be well.
Hi Dr fox.its good to see you again I'm learning alot from you. On my bpd. I get hurt alot misunder standing people. But other than that my bpd don't get in the way. I'm learning how to handle it. Thanks for all your videos. We all have some kind of mental problems. We live in a stressful world.and when you been treated really bad you going have some mental problems.we have health problems our minds are part of the body. There nothing to be shame of.i no lots of people that has bpd and other problems that are very smart people and they hold high power full jobs. And alot of them has been married for years. I truly be leave that with God help and the love of others.and getting the help you need. Watching your videos. They can have a good life. I'm doing that in my own life. So people out there listen to Mr fox he's telling the truth. And you can and will get better I am. That's Mr fox for your videos they help so much. Most counselors don't understand bpd like you no. You truly a blessing !!!!
I think when it comes to bpd and the lack of responsibility for their actions- a lot of the time you feel so very hurt by whatever caused the outburst that you almost feel like .. the victim. Like however you acted is valid because of how much pain and fear they caused you and even after things have calmed down you will still look at that event and just remember whatever it was they said that scared you, made you feel alone, misunderstood, betrayed and if the other person tries to bring it up and get an apology or explain to you why it was inappropriate, it’s going to trigger you again, if you tell someone with bpd that they embarrassed you it will hurt them really bad, triggering the fear of abandonment. because that to us means. “You are embarrassing,” “ you ruin everything” “You’re not good enough” even though we feel guilt and remorse about everything it’s hard to express appropriately
Omg! You're spot on with the bpd empathy, and, getting lost. I have intense empathy, yet I'm sometimes told I appear to lack it or come across as unempathetic.
Thank you.
Narcissistic, psychopath, borderline personality all seem to have similarities in behavior (the underlying core content is the difference) thanks for breaking this all down. Can be very confusing.
@@cameron3869 did he not just give examples for both doing similar things but with completely different motives? They aren't completely different in the sense that they can look alike, but the reasons for the actions are truly completely different. Making them different from one another.
If they weren't confusing to people then there would be no reason for his video.
@@sierragoin863 Smart comment/response. Concise and to the point. A pleasure to read.
@@guntertorfs6486 Thank you😊
Core content, behaviors difference, goals.
Yes l understand that their are differences between between BPD & Psychopath behavior the Do & Do Not, in actions, thoughts, core content.
Lol I'm diagnosed with BPD ADHD and im on the autism spectrum.
I do have my bad days when my anger and frustration gets the best of me and i get days when i feel worthless and alone...
But i have never hurt anyone physically and i don't think i could, i can't even kill a spider or a fly without crying and begging for forgiveness, my empathy is very high and i give and help all i can .
Definitely not a psychopath 🥰
Love from Iceland 😊💜
And i want to add that I've called this the camelian disorder because i tend to become like the person im around so i have to be careful who i let into my life ...
THANK YOU SO MUCH FROM A BPD SUFFERER!!!!!!! (I SUFFER MORE FROM IT THAN U DO AND ILL DESTROY MYSELF TO PROVE IT)
It’s always really bothered and confused me that these two are in the same cluster, because they seem like opposites to me. One comes from a lack of emotion and interest in connecting with others and one comes from an over abundance of both.
It seems like the implication is that those with bpd are willfully malicious and lack remorse and regard for others, rather than that they are stuck inside a whirlpool of chaos that inadvertently creates a lot of collateral damage. Contrary to this view they are often acutely aware of and very remorseful for those consequences, but simply lack the control to manage them. It wasn’t until I watched this video that I even understood why the disorders are conflated, but it makes sense now.
I was afraid to watch this, but you really did a good job of exploring the connections and nuance here, and explaining the way that similar looking behaviors can be rooted in very different motivations. Well done, thank you.
This is possibly the best and clearest explanation/comparison out there! Great work💯
How about the pro-social psychopath that we've been hearing about lately?
I don’t know where my diagnosis belongs but I fear you have confirmed my old friends psychopathy and are confirming the need to continue to hold the barriers I have finally begun to build.
As someone who recently learned I am in the psycopathy spectrum, I found the video very insightful and learned a lot. I do wish people would learn that not all people that are in this spectrum are evil, soulless beings that one should be relieved to be so different from, (we are people too, after all lol... and some of us see the benefit in learning to control impulses and not being stereotypes...) but very educational nonetheless.
I love your professional and reasoned contribution to RUclips. Thanks Dr Fox.
Thank you 😊
Thank you Dr Fox🙏 ... how I wish my family would watch your videos on BPD and stop considering me a monster
BPD EXTREME!
Is Me!
Thank you!!!
Severe head injury at the age of six has also aggrivated life in general.
I do have a great therapist though. On the phone once a week. Better than nothing.
Quit my psychiatrist because he wanted me to take a dangerous medicine for me. Meds like that kill me. One that the mental health gave me still has my tongue sticking out of my mouth.
Anyway, Thank you!
Oh, I am learning how to recover much more quickly when I "loose it" in front of people. Living in a small town helps as I have a lot of incentive to improve. And backing from some awesome people. Though this broke no money life is educational and I have time to learn soooo much.
Now I am running on as usual.
Thank you again.
There is quite a bit more to my story of 69 years.
🌹
thank u doctor, great content wish i had found u sooner like 10 years ago. i didn't have a diagnosis for my BPD back then and i wondered all the time what was wrong with me because I felt not normal. one minute i had no emotion and then tsunami of emotion. always stormy inside. now I'm a lot more whole inside and stable after putting myself through therapy and working to build a better inner world. I'm also aware of my psychopathic tendencies, when I'm splitting black i cant feel or empathize with anything, i can become easily distracted and listless and usually want to remedy these with food.
I needed this for clarity about a family member. Thank you. 🙏 For me, I get so confused. I have every symptom of BPD EXCEPT for the abandonment issue. I've been burned by people so many times that I just want everyone to leave me alone. I love my alone time and I adore my husband, but I don't cling to him ... which is odd because I am super emotional. I'm questioning a lot lately of where I fall on all B personalities. Trying to get a professional psych eval these days is near impossible.
You can have bpd traits but not the full diagnosis. I would look into DBT therapy techniques if you are struggling.
Hey. Internal family systems therapy but that model was eye opening. It doesn.t seem so random however u feel this way. I wouldn.t be too hard on yourself. If you don.t mind there is a book i truly recommend. It is No Bad Parts. It is written by richard schwartz. )
@@Jay-xx5pg Rhank you for rhe suggestion! I will check it out. 💜🙏💜
Sometimes I feel like it would be so much easier for the people in my life and for the extreme pain inside of me, if I wasn’t here. I’m not suicidal, but the pain is so bad.
You are a great speciallist. You helped me a lot with the book that ii'm writing (about BPD). THANK YOU!
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿Fantastic video thank you very much for braking it down and dismantling the mis-information online.
Recently started watching your videos, Dr. Fox. I'm on a painful journey right now trying to leave my ex who keeps trying to pull me back. Im starting to think i fall somewhere on the BPD spectrum, and at first i thought he could have BPD....but now as your breaking down the differences it's looking more like I'm dealing with psychopathy. This man has completely turned my life upside down in the last decade of marriage. Thank you for putting this information out there for people like me who are in difficult and chaotic relationships. It brings so much clarity, yet raises so many more questions that I will continue to research.
It was really good to listen to this over again, it has given me a new perspective. Im beginning to develop insight into my condition and the insights in this video have given clear distinctions between BPD and Psychopathy.
A person with bpd in active addiction can have that superficial charm to get their needs met. In active addiction I picked up toxic behaviors I learned from my late fiance who was higher in psychopathy if not a psychopath.. in and out of jail for sure. Manipulative cunning ... All that. Lacked empathy but had enough intelligence to make ppl feel connected.. narcissistic... Needed validation though.. pathological liar.. . All that
I completely agree. When I was using I had no problem lying or manipulating people but when my head is straight I can’t even tell a small lie without feeling guilty.
I have listened to most of your videos and so appreciate your support and insights on BPD. I appreciate your advocacy for folks with BPD by explaining how they are not "psychopaths" as the term is commonly used. But you made several statements in this video about psychopathy that do not reflect the research of professionals with expertise in psychopathy.
Which are?
This video fascinates me to my core, because I have multiple mental disorders and they all manifest in me to a certain extent which make me (or anyone in general) who I (or they) are. A "psychopath" according to the world of psychology, is someone who is simply cold for lack of a better term. Someone who can't feel, which means that they find enjoyment in sadistic like behaviors towards others because why not? They can't feel anything. Some people mistake psychopaths with sociopaths only because the term "psychopath" was adopted by the movie industry and displayed it to the public for decades, which would explain the ignorance of the matter. Sociopaths are basically a watered down version of a psychopath that has a spectrum like anything else would from any point of view. Sociopaths have a co-occuring issue with narcissism and they are able to have a sociable relationship with another human being which is most likely for their benefit in some way. Psychopaths are unable to pretend and that's the main difference. I have personal experience with sociopaths and I can tell you that they are simply people who have no empathy and are confused as to why other people do. "We get no benefit from having empathy, so why display it?" Is the very thought that manifests in their psyche and as long as they aren't physically hurting anyone they are technically fine to think the way they want cause that's just who they are. However, the verbal abuse that comes with the lack of empathy towards people who do have the gift of empathy are damaged from the harsh realities of a sociopath, creating havok and trauma in the human brain. As far as that goes, it can in any direction because everyone is chemically different. It could affect them greatly or not at all depending on the individual. BPD usually stems from childhood trauma and it triggers the victim to have a fear and anxiety of abandonment because of their own personal pursuit of happiness (whatever that might be to them). Jeffrey Dahmer failed the psychopath test and was diagnosed with BPD because he longed the feeling of having his own personal companion that would never leave him, combined with his own sick and deranged fantasies. He most likely failed the psychopath test because there was a reason and emotion behind why he did what he did and it was twisted around to lead to his victim's unfortunate demise and suffering. He was considered "a regular guy" by his peers from his his high school days which shows possible sociopathic tendencies explaining the lack of empathy and benefiting from pretending in order to lure his victims. I know that this is an extremely long comment no one is going to take the time to read but I find comfort in sharing insight on what I know about the mind because I've had many experiences with different people and different mindsets. One day I hope that it can spread awareness and lead to less ignorance in this world. I also struggle with BPD and it lead me to learn why people act the way they do so I can be above it. People with BPD are generally victims of other people that have their own severe mental injury/retardation so I hope the people with good intentions find their way in this world. The secret is to be wary of their ignorance and rise above it.
I found your comment a very interesting read on what’s going on in my brain ! Thank you .
@@desha5018i'm also bipolar and was very manic when I posted that lmao. I'm glad that I could give you some insight. Insight is power! ❤
Watching your videos helped me open up more about BPD. There's so much I want to write but don't know how to describe it.
Thanks, you helped me understand myself and a few others in my life..psychopathy and BPD. Now I know how to communicate better with those with BPD.
Esto debería transmitirse a diario en cadena nacional. Es un fastidio encontrarse por todas partes a gente ignorante que acusa de psicópata a la gente con TLP.
Gracias
Thank you. I have BPD and I'm really struggling at the moment with lack of self acceptance because I believe I'm evil or defective. Have felt this way since a small child. It's difficult for me to think any other way.
Just remember that your diagnosis doesn’t define you. You are a valuable person and not defected. Also trauma can make us feel that way so that may be where your feelings come from. DBT saved my life.
Because it's NOT in your thoughts but your deep feelings.
Same
Isn't BPD literally the opposite of a psychopath? Because we feel TOO much & they don't feel enough. Is that right?
Secondary psychopaths are extremely emotional
@Niphyra Psychopath isn't a diagnosis anymore, it's just ASPD.
Exactly what I was thinking 😂 How can you feel too much and not at all?
@@Amused_Comfort_Inc but aspd isn’t a replacement word for psychopath, they’re not synonymous, so psychopathy can still be used to define people
@Niphyra secondary psychopath is another term for people who displayed psychopathic traits but they are emotionally unstable and mercurial, unlike the cool and charming psychopaths who don’t feel much emotions are primary psychopaths.
I've dealt with BPD my whole life...it's dibillitating at timed..I have extremely black and white thinking..Dr. jeckll .Mr Hyde shit...made me feel crazy for many years.. honestly still does at times..the emotional emptiness is by far the scariest at times along with pure apathy and suicidal ideation..and violent intrusive thoughts...these things for me come at the push of a button..like something switched...then it will suddenly stop hour a two later...just stop on a dime...it's exhausting to say the least!!!!to all those suffering...you are not alone...and you are "ok"...there is nothing wrong with you..bless you guys.
I think this video may have saved my life. My ex has been gaslighting me into being terrified I was some kind of covert narcissist unworthy of love or companionship and readying myself to commit suicide. Every time she mistreats me, even just slightly, I'd spiral into doubting myself again, assuming the worst about me. I couldn't bring myself to self delete due to how it would hurt my sons and leave them alone in the world with a narcisssitic mother and extended family who ignores them entirely (my family has been gone since my teen years, drugs, suicide etc) . I hadn't seen anything so well presented to help me analyze my obvious bpd symptoms so effectively. I may be an asshole at times, but I've been drowning in empathy and guilt my entire life.
I’m glad you found it helpful. Be well.
I feel like, people who suffer BPD, are also sensation seekers, they also need and look for high emotional stimulation, but in order to appease those really strong feelings of emptiness; is like constantly looking for either chaos or deep connections with people (or well maybe a chaos in order to reassure that there's a deep and real connection with someone, and prove that they won't leave you), or anything that can somehow fill that void. Eternal emotional hunger I call it. And also, at least myself, I don't handle that grey area of feeling okay really well, if nothing intense is happening, I will notice that emptiness, even though I'm feeling well, and I will do anything extreme to keep that void and emptiness away.
Thank you so much for your sensible and informative videos on BPD. So many so-called experts seem to be more interested in creating sensationalistic content and spreading misinformation about this illness that none of us asked for. I watch the video recently in which the creator use the film, fatal attraction to make her points, unhelpful, and frankly, silly use of popular films to inform us about our health condition just further isolate, people like myself and causes other people to be afraid of us and it is a horrible and lonely place to be. Again, I thank you so much for your informative, sensible and scientific look at a much miss understood condition that is not being helped by less responsible RUclipsrs. Can I apologise if this a response is grammatically incorrect or slightly in coherent as I am using the dictation at eight because of arthritis in my fingers causing me to struggle to take longer comments and responses to videos.
Thank you for your kind words! I'm glad my videos have been helpful to you. It's unfortunate that there is so much misinformation out there, but I'm here to provide accurate and sensible information about BPD. Keep watching and stay strong!
I had to Listen over and over because it was so fascinatingly accurate as well as eloquent
Thanks 😊
Thank you for making this video. I was watching some videos about Jodi Arias & noticed many people commenting about how she has BPD & that's why she murdered someone & it's so terrifying that some people really equate BPD with that level of depravity. BPD is so deeply misunderstood. Thank you again for sharing professional, honest content.
I agree and thanks for comment.
She was forensically diagnosed during the trial. She flew into an out of control (clearly) murderous rage when she believed Travis was abandoning her. Arias was not a psychopath. She was not driven by greed or power and control.
Now, is that NOT indicative that everyone with BPD sees red and flies into a murderous rage, but I can tell you my sister has, one of my exboyfriend's did (I ended up with PTSD after the fact), and I've seen numerous people who struggle with true BPD rage issues admit that they're abusive, feel "stabby" when there in a BPD rage episode, and they're truly worry they're going to lose all control and kill someone (and then later regret the hell out of it).
This does not mean that everyone with BPD traits, or even the full blown personality disorder, is severe enough to feel these same fears of their own out of control rage, but some do.
I can post videos for you of people right here on RUclips, both male, and female, accurately diagnosed with BPD who have expressed this out of control rage, and fear of what they going to do to others. None of these people seem to pre-plan, it's more like a hot-headed sociopathic rage where they SNAP and destroy everything inside someone's home. Some have even said they fear they are going to hurt any pets that are present when they get that out of control rage.
If you have never felt that way, that's probably a very good thing.
I love my oldest sister with BPD but I will never again sleep under the safe roof with here. I won't even take a nap on the couch if she is in the house. I've made that mistake once before, and never will I make it again. You would NEVER believe what she is capable of if you met her, because she is so gorgeous, kind, compassionate, funny, athletic, but god help you and anyone else present if she flies into a BPD rage. She DOES physically attack others, then will disappear for a few years and will resurface later acting like nothing every happened. She says she "doesn't remember"....but if that were true, why does she disappear for years? If you push he long enough, she will admit she feels horrible about what she did. She is not financially exploitative in any manner, and she's not narcissistic at all. She was bulimic as a teen. Binge drinks to numb her emotions. Classic borderline stuff. Oh, and one threatened suicide.
The good news is that YOU don't see yourself or your behavior at that severe/extreme level, and that is *Very* good news. However, not everyone can say the same. Some fear their inability to control that BPD rage is going to
40% of the prison populations in both the US and UK...both male and female...are people diagnosed with BPD. Those who have killed someone have almost always *snapped* and lost control, they don't methodically pre-plan the way psychopaths do, but they do stalk (some of them) and many are charged with domestic abuse/violence, and even more with substance abuse, and DUI (my sister has been to prison at least twice of which I'm aware, one time for almost running over a sheriff's deputy as he was writing a ticket for someone else on the side of the road...he dove out of her path and ended up only with a broken ankle, otherwise, she'd be in prison for life for voluntary manslaughter).
I have a great deal of respect for those people with BPD who admit their rage is a real problem and who also ask for help and how to develop skills to try and manage it before it reaches the point of no return and they kill someone. That takes true honesty and courage to admit.
@@le_th_ Not every doctor involved in the trial believed she had BPD, it was 1 out of 3 of them. I think she was definitely motivated by greed & power & if you watch her on the stand she very clearly reacts condescendingly & in a subtle power-grabbing manner while being interrogated. For instance, when the attorney was questioning her & asking her specifically to use "yes" or "no" as answers, she then began using "of course" or other variations, just to grate him & to assert her power, & if she didn't care about power, she likely wouldn't have done that. She may have BPD but that's highly debated, & in my humble, unprofessional opinion, if she does, it's concurrent with some other things. I'm sorry about your experiences with a few people who have BPD, I know that some people don't do anything at all to help themselves & it's very sad because BPD is considered a HIGHLY treatable mental illness. Rage certainly is a characteristic of BPD but rage is also a normal human emotion, & while it's not ok for people to think about killing other people, I think many people have been so hurt, betrayed, or abused that they've then felt the desire to enact rageful retaliation, & most people who've felt that way don't have BPD. Rage occurs a lot in some people with BPD & what happens is it consumes them to the point where they can't regulate themselves (if not working on this facet) & then they unfortunately express it outwardly in destructive violence (at times.) It doesn't mean it's ok, but this can actually be completely healed in therapy if the person with BPD decides to work on it. I've seen this healing with my own eyes, it 100% happens.
@@daisylavenderlove lol Greed??? Oh that's funny.
Even some people with BPD recognize she has BPD.
Apparently, you don't know that some people with BPD genuinely fear murdering someone is one of their out of control rages, and that them snapping is going to alter their life forever.
Let me know if you'd like me to post the video of the woman with BPD admitting that to a therapist. It's recorded and posted right here on RUclips.
I think it was incredibly honest of her to admit it because not everyone with BPD will.
They can be straight up maniacal.
I'm guessing your one of those people with BPD who either has a milder form of it, and your all-or-nothing thinking patterns make you believe that "everyone" with BPD thinks and feels exactly as you do...or...your one of the maniacal ragers who hopes this info doesn't get out to the public at large. That wouldn't surprise me in the least.
I respect the people with BPD who have the basic human decency to be honest about their out of control rage, and the danger it poses not only to them but also to others.
@@le_th_ lol idk how you're qualified to say what about me or my beliefs would "surprise" you, but I can tell you that I'm definitely not surprised by a random person on the internet acting like they can speak about who I am as a person, psychologically at that, based off of 2 youtube comments. Yes I'm sure some people with BPD are afraid they might snap & kill someone because BPD entails extreme emotional highs & lows in tandem with impulsivity. Are you surprised to know that not everyone who snaps & kills someone has BPD? Obviously BPD is spectrum & sometimes people with it do really horrible things, but what's more common for someone with BPD? Homicide or suicide? It's definitely the latter. That's not to say that people with BPD never kill others, I'm sure it's happened, but people with BPD more often self-harm, which Jodi (from all of our knowledge) doesn't have a history of, aside from "threats" of it, which can happen in narcissism too. That still doesn't mean that Jodi Arias has BPD for sure, or it's atleast not unanimous that she does. & like I said, if she does, it's probably concurrent with other disorders.
The borderline is not always psychopathic, the 'secondary psychopath' is released only when she rages. So it comes out in flashes. The rest of the time she's often presenting as very vulnerable.
Ty
Agree
Change your mind
I agree. Felt kinda sad you pointed out it was a she. Girls are more than happy to go over the top. I get scared and hide...
Bullshit victim state which are usually lies as they are the abuser
Dammit, such a cool video and great live chat
Thank you for this video. It’s helpful to see the similarities and differences.
My mom has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder and has had those diagnosed reaffirmed in subsequent interactions with mental health providers. I have noticed as I learn more about different thought and behavior patterns that she does fit the borderline patterns but also has significant narcissistic behavior patterns such as blatant exploitation and abuse of others with seemingly no remorse for doing so. If she does feel remorse, no one gets to see it. On the outside she presents calloused justifications and gaslighting (and more verbal and/or physical abuse) to anyone who pushes back on her behavior. Or she will flip the script and take the poor victim approach. She does appear to behave like a psychopath. Unfortunately, I don’t know what is true about her formative years because she has given different versions of her parents and family members depending on who she is talking to. Her sisters behave in similar ways, which lend credibility to dysfunction in their family environment. My mother’s mother had regularly shown coldness and callousness to me while she was alive- to the point that I stopped all contact with her once I became an adult and had more control of my life. I’ve heard similar accounts of her behavior to neighbors and people at church. Although they are probably not actual psychopaths, their behavior patterns are definitely in that overlap zone.
We’re not psychopaths so I don’t know why you need you use the word “probably”. Your mom is dead but seems like you’re still holding onto the past I would recommend you see a creditable therapist to work through some of that. It can be traumatic to love someone with BPD but just know that your mom did love you she was just a sick person.
@@tdob6067
I say probably in reference specifically to my mother (and her mom & sisters) because I’m not convinced that she ever did love me. My mother is very much alive and I stopped contact with her because of her blatant exploitation and abusive behavior towards me. I’ve been her literal and emotional punching bag for my whole life until about two years ago. She’s emphasized how deeply she relates to Andrea Yates and the actions she took to kill her children. She dumped me (and my siblings) off on whoever would take me until she said I was old enough to look after my siblings (9 years ago, btw), and then she would “go to the grocery store” for 6-8 hours at a time.
psychiatrists often misdiagnose. it doesnt matter tho. mainly you keep your proper boundaries in regard to her. she sounds like a covert narc to me. not BPD. but. if believing she has BPD gets her into therapy great. it may help her. narcs wont go. so, she might go.
Good video, proffesional
Im diagnosed with AsPD and even we arent full blown psychopaths, it's usually factor 2 with some additions of 1
Subbed
Good insight. Thanks for the comment.
Thank you for the insightful explanation and the clarity, Dr Fox. It's exactly what I need to learn. Have a wonderful day and blessings to you 🙏🎉
I’m so glad it’s been helpful. Be well
Great video thanks DR Fox my EX I've known for 25 years has BPD they definitely I've been through a lot since her/there childhood some have massive defense mechanisms that come off very angrily with rageing psychosis and splitting episodes but my ex still has a lot of the empathy traits and we still talking she apologizes for everything from are past. Definitely you're right they're not psychopaths they just highly defend themselves from their past traumas
I loved a girl with bpd, undiagnosed but seemed to be quiet bpd. Iv heard many say they don’t actually have true empathy but see themselves in the things they “empathize” with. Everytime I see someone with bpd describe their empathy they bring up their own past and how they feel bad or shame . None of that is empathy , so I question if they can feel real empathy as some suggest.
Seems they feel guilt, shame, bad etc but it embarrassed them and they can’t believe what they do, that’s not empathy. The girl I knew
Months after in a post, said she had trouble defending herself (not really true since she was an aggressor and patronizing but she feels bad for herself so she doesn’t understand she isn’t the victim in present day reality ) and she listed some things that pointed to lots of self pity.
I don’t see any bpd demonstrate true empathy ever, but they seem to think their bad feelings and shame are empathy for others.
I only realized this recently: I would argue with my girlfriend that she doesn't understand me when she says that I don't care, and so on. I don't want her to believe that I don't care or that I don't love her, etc. The only options I would see are to
a) admit that she's right, that I am a terrible person who doesn't care about her and doesn't love her
b) argue with her to defend my character, and persuade her that she is mistaken and should stop trying to mind-read me.
I eventually found that this is a rock and a hard place!
a) seems to lead to a breakup
b) makes sense in the moment but built the impression that I refuse to be judged poorly and that I don't empathise with her doubts, etc.
We found a better response:
C) don't see accusations as insults. Accept and honour their emotional reality while being agnostic about their factual reality... THEN I might be invited to give my side of the story after I have verbally empathised with her
Thanks for the comment.
Dr Daniel thank you so much for these. It helps so many people to feel like someone "understands".
Please don’t break my heart with this
I won’t
what
@@kristoffseisler2163 what part of that sentence confused you?
If you have BPD or any cluster B personality disorders, please don’t have children & if you already do PLEASE GET THERAPY.
This is a terrible thing to say. As if we are all evil and will abuse our children. I will have children if I decide to, and as many as I want. I will love them and provide them with empathy, sensitivity, and understanding, because that is obviously something lacking in the world--and because that is the person I am. Not some evil monster. Not some abuser. Not some manipulative liar. And this goes for everyone with a Cluster B disorder; *we are just as human as you.*
one might kill you-- the other will just make you wish you were dead
They're not psychopaths , but when they split and have an episode they can certainly do psychopathic behaviors, the tragic part is its usually the people closest to them who mean a lot who get split on because of intense emotional impulses , or lack of control.
@Dyquan-zz7ep Absolutely. Once a most borderlines split they go into what's commonly referred to as " secondary psychopathy" but it's typically only under lots of stress or high emotions.
This is not part of their normal behaviors though. It's a subconscious defense mechanism they had to develop as a "protector" as children in the face of tremendous abuse or neglect.
As someone who is borderline - what my therapist calls extreme impulsive borderline (whatever that means lol) I feel like being a psychopath would be easier sometimes, so maybe sometimes someone with BPD may try to act as a psychopath or adopt their tendencies. We have to recall and remember that borderline is not a disorder built in psychosis but more narchosis. We also have to recall that people with borderline have their own tool kit, and that tool kit involves high levels of manipulation. We may be manipulating people and coming off as almost psychotic but it's not truely psychotic. Not from a clinical sense.
Also it's not that we don't feel guilt or empathy, we actually have hyper guilt and empathy.... But it's more like we act so impulsively that we do it anyways and then beat ourselves up later over it.
I've heard you say about the spectrum of BPD. I asked my friend who is an art therapist about that and she said the only time she hears talk of spectrums is with autism. So what I asked her was can a person with BPD be at a different spectrum than someone else. My daughter is diagnosed with BPD and I'm pretty sure I'm struggling with it too. I guess I'm asking if you could do a video on the spectrum levels of BPD. Please 🙏🥺
I think there is a spectrum with BPD.. in the sense of how severely the BPD interferes with the persons functioning in each area of their life. Most spectrums are based on how much an illness/disease/disorder affects functioning.
People can also have "BPD *traits* " but not have a full BPD diagnosis. This is based on the criteria list in the 'Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders' book. :)
I wouldn’t call it a spectrum as much as you can have some traits but not all of them.
@@tdob6067 but you can also have those symptoms to a different degree. So the most accurate way of putting it is: a spectrum
All personality disorders are spectra. Well, even mood disorders are. It's not all black and white--- more like a lot of grey. Even anxiety disorders fall on spectra because the intensity of symptoms are different for everyone and not everyone has all the symptoms associated with a particular anxiety disorder.
I think it's all a spectrum. Mental illnesses are just exaggerated version of what everyone feels at one time or another. Everyone feels what it's like to be angry at some point, but that doesn't mean everyone has anger management disorders, and everyone knows what it's like to feel hungover, but that doesn't mean everyone is an alcoholic. Everyone knows what it's like to feel anxious or depressed, but that doesn't mean everyone has an anxiety disorder or a depressive disorder. So all mental "disorders" exist on a spectrum from most extreme to least extreme. It's just that they aren't called disorders unless someone is far enough along on that spectrum.
My wife seems to be a spot match for Quiet BPD and the total opposite of psychopathy (the only similarity is lying but the motivation for lying is quite different) ..and so are the miss truths
Personally, when I was in school, I was the one getting bullied. I was an easy target because I learned early on to just sit there and take it. I was well into adult-hood before I learned to fight back.
This can be a hard lesson. I wish you well.
@@DrDanielFox Thank you
Thank you for the way this is phrased! I appreciate the perspective switch a lot 🙏
Weirdly, my ex presented with all of those traits, often cycling or acting in contradictory ways from day to day, even within conversation and rage attacks.
What's your thoughts on secondary psychopathy and BPD switching to a psychotic state when a perceived "attack" (abandonment for example) is imminent?
With bpd its called splitting. Recovery Mum on RUclips explains things brilliantly.
Sam Vaknin claims bpd includes secondary psychopathy per recent research. however I know there are BPD diagnosed people who seem to lack this. I suspect several distinct disorders get lumped into the BPD diagnosis everything from cpstd, sociopathy, did, and substance addiction.
Always love seeing a new video of yours, even before I watch it. Thanks for this!👍
Please change that photo. It makes people with BPD look sinister and sneaky.
It’s the psychopath. Sorry you didn’t like it. You’ll see when you watch the video.
I’ve heard on many forums that BPD is in essence should be scrapped and called vulnerable narcissist or crying psychopath.
That’s absolutely as those terms do not clearly describe the condition in any way.
Thank you so much for your channel I finally have a way to understand myself better
I'm a diagnosed psychopath. I think normal people are toxic asf. You guys are so devided! I've dated all races and all genders and not capable of feeling negative
I’d love if you did one of these for NPD vs BPD
I can't ever get to "how was it in the relationship" because I've been so conditioned to ignore the reality of the dismal situation and instead love despite the legitimate pain caused by someone I deeply love out of compassion, loyalty and very profound understanding & belief that they are doing the best they can. The fact it's not enough (causes extreme pain & an erosion of self worth and overwhelming feelings of neglect) doesn't get put into the equation because all that matters is the Other is hurting and lost. I realize how fucked up that sounds and yet it's my reality... this goes back to loving a mother who tried to kill herself in my presence more than once - and more than once saving her life. Loving someone so important to your own survival and needing their love in return but understanding on a soul level they can't EVER reciprocate sets you up to love in a manner that is sure to bring heartache and suffering. Truly 💔'ing. Those with BPD Suffer so greatly 😞 my mother finally found peace in ending her life.
This is the best video you've done yet. Thank you for do it this topic
Yes, the lack of empathy, chronic boredom, shallowness. Non stop.
Hi Dr Fox. A very interesting topic. I am very interested to hear about Emotional IQ as that relates to both psychopaths and people with BPD. I understand that it is said that IQ cant be changed but EQ can be. As far as psychopathy not being treatable would that statement (ie EQ can be changed)be false in the case of psychopaths)?