Why we should feel sorry for High Achievers
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- It is a measure of our collective delusion that we are so ready to be proud of high achievers and so slow to detect the wound that powers them on.
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‘It might seem - at first glance - as though the people we term high-achievers could not possibly have any relationship to self-hatred: they are the ones who did exceptionally well in exams, whom the teachers admired, who won places at the best universities, who graduated with honours, who got into law and medical schools, who founded thriving businesses, who live in the wealthiest parts of town, who are up early in the morning preparing themselves healthy breakfasts before a day of important meetings. Surely we can’t impute that these might be sufferers from the ravages of self-disgust?..”
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"The Wealth of Nations is built upon the troubles of the individual psyches." So true and powerful
I think it's more like "The wealth of nations is built upon the blood, sweat and tears of poor people from other countries." Do you really think that Elon Musk suffers more than his cobalt miners in the Democratic Republic of Congo?
@@acrius thank you for making this point, I was simply quoting the video and I welcome your perspective which just builds up the point further.
@@acrius I don’t think that quote applies only to high achievers but also to under achievers as some might see themselves incapable of a achieving remarkable things so they end up with essential jobs that actually powers nations.
@@verinis3126 you are welcome. Thank you for being open minded and kind with divergent opinions.
@@luisurquiza8420 that's my point too. We're all underachievers in a capitalist society
*“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”- Oscar Wilde*
Wow! What a Quote 👌
Ew, who wants romance?
Gaaaya!
You have to be a talented and decent human being to love yourself.
Now imagine being extremely ambitious as an underachiever.
HA! Brilliant.
I met my goal. SCORE!!
@@arsplastiques Now add being brilliant as well to the equation. Ouch.
Worst combination
Lol. Yup. I feel all these feelings, and no where near the top
I feel empathy for my younger self yet grateful for the experience knowing that it’s okay to be myself and being enough now. Thank God for a few rock bottom experiences that brought me to the truth of who I am beyond society’s idea of success.
Knowing that we are beyond the ego, power, money, and fleeting success. We are enough. We are consciousness. 🙏🏼❤️
🙏🏼❤️
On the way, following you
Same. I was on a society's idea of success, but now I don't care about money or fame. I just wanna spent time with friends and family as well with my passions. I still have problems to tackle, but I am enjoying life now.
Self love is important guys
Yes!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Love it!
The comment section is interesting.
On one hand, there are persons, including myself, who can relate to this video and the struggles it describes.
On the other hand, there are those who make a good point that high achievement is not always a result of dysfunctionality.
The way I see it (just my opinion), there is a difference between high achievement and high achievers - people who always STRIVE for high achievements. There is a difference between doing a job very well and people who do a job very well so they can be admired by everyone else. And there is a difference between the need for constant improvement and the longing to be better than everybody else.
Maybe this is where the video is coming from, and maybe this comment could help all of us to better relate.
PS: "High achievers" has a broad definition. The definition I used here is just for context.
Then there's me, saying talk to the gut.
That's an interesting comment. Glad I found your insight.
Thanks for this. Great comment ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
this is so truee
Maybe it's a good thing I read your comment because I disagreed with this video. And I partially agree with what you are saying. The way I see it is that it's good to strive to be great and to be the best you can be with what you want to do in life. What is not good is to seek to become someone you are not because of others' unrealistic expectations of you. For example - if you are a doctor and everyone admires you and you are really great at what you do, and you are making really good money. But you never wanted to be a doctor. You always loved dancing and wanted to be a dance teacher. But your family and people around you do not consider a dance teacher as being great, so you give into them. And you spend many years internally longing and missing being able to dance. You don't feel fulfilled. But to many people, they see you as a 'high achiever'. On the other hand, if you're someone who always wanted to be a doctor and you become one and you are very happy, work well and accomplish many great things in your field. You can also be considered a high achiever. So the definition of what is, and who is a 'high achiever' should be clarified in this video, which they failed to do.
It's true that it's lonely at the top. High achievers are too busy trying to achieve their goals, that they could overwhelm themselves, and forget to focus on the smaller things.
Personat I'm trying my best to focus on what's important to me, and that's my mental health and my future. But part of a healthy mind involved finding people I can connect with, and that's a hassle. I've found that not many people are good enough to hang out with. I'm lucky I have a person I can be fully vulnerable with, but she lives very far away and we can't meet. So it feels very lonely sometimes. And that sometimes makes me wonder about my future as well. I know as I get better I'll probably find good people along the way as well, however, it'll be a very hard task to do. So really, high achiever or not, it's impossible to focus on the little things when the people around you are all in need of professional help for their mental state, and that's putting it nicely
Idk if it's really that lonely at the top... A lot of people are limited in the time they can hang out with their friends because of how much they need to work, meanwhile the richest in society are having colossal parties like a few times a month and socializing a lot outside that... There's a reason that when you think of 'socialites' you don't think of underachievers...
At the base, downstairs can also be very lonely
You described my ex to a tee. She broke it off with me because I wasn't achieving as much as she did ! Being happy with what you got is the highest achievement you can get to
You took the words right out of my mouth. I was a high achiever when I was younger all throughout elementary and HS. I was the school's favorite student to send off to any competition, event, or extracurricular activity. I'd been so caught up in the extras I had on my plate--studies, clubs, sports, student government, and everything in between--that when I inevitably broke down during my 2nd year in HS, I found barely anyone beside me. Not because they hated me, but because they never got the chance to know me. I was simply that acquaintance everyone knew, a figure with a reputation but never a person nor a friend. Thus, I arrived to the same conclusion: that being successful wasn't without its cons, that part of the price you had to pay was loneliness.
As a high achiever, abruptly hit with a rare genetic disease, facing I’m no longer invincible and might even have to consider disability, there is a big price to pay when your body desserts you and you can no longer… no longer function in the only world you know. Now I have a new life to face and I’m terrified.
Hi Gloria, without knowing your situation, my heart goes out to you. Be kind to yourself, realise you were never indestructible to begin with, reach out to those you can trust, let them help you, and realise that you'll bring your high achiever self into this new world as you transition into it. Something a little similar is happening to me, through burnout and depression. I needed to hear and learn similar messages. I wish you good health - physical, genetic, and emotional.
I’ve traveled this same road. My life went topsy turvy just before being diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder. I essentially lost my career (though I barely still keep the job), lost my sense of purpose, took a huge personal and financial hit, became a hermit for years…..BUT, life is now better. Its far different then I had envisioned for myself and worked myself to the bone for. BUT I now live a more authentic life and practice lots of self-care. All the best to you!
Hi Gloria, my heart goes out to you. I am also supposed to be disabled and got hit hard with a disease I got living in my state of Arizona called Valley Fever. I can’t work a full-time job anymore and I have so much limits. It’s really hard to deal with and part of my job too is to travel.. I have slowed down in those things and have to have plenty of rest before I get out there. Take care of yourself first and things will fall… you may find yourself more mentally sound than if you were working all the time which is a blessing. God picks his strongest warriors when these things happen.
@@gabrielle6158 that is encouraging words. God picks his strongest warriors.
@@InnerLantern7 ahh that is encouraging. I have been thinking it might turn out as a better way of being. Not what I wanted but it might be good in other ways. Self care is a new concept
This generalisation does not sound true to me. There are psychologically balanced happy people who achieve a lot exactly because of these character traits. Not everybody is walking around with a hole in their heart trying to fill that with achievements to numb the pain. Some people achieve a lot whilst remaining well rounded and kind people and because they are rounded and kind. Not all drive is based on dysfunctionality.
I was thinking about the same thing, this video assumed that all high achievers are dysfunctional, insecure and miserable, may be some of them, but surly most of them are not.
Yeah i'm totally with you, there surely are people like this described in the video and it isn't healthy to feel ashamed, guilty or generally worthless, but on the flip side i see in todays society much of this talk that says: you're enough and good enough like that, for example body positivity i think is a good example (which i think is not good for anyone).
And besides that, doesn't life get it's meaning through the strive for improvement? Think for a moment: what if you think you already good are enough like you are. That means there is no need for improvement. No need for improvement means you have no goals which in turn means you more or less drift around aimlessly. And that is sooner or later going to get you in a pit that is deep and dark beyond your imagination, that is the surest way to find hell on earth. What if our ancestors thought that way? Never sacrafice today for a better tomorrow, then we would still live like the chimps.
Precisely. Some, if not most, are high achievers exactly because they just have fun doing things, genuine curiosity, and happily challenge themselves
Exactly.
Yea, this video is really judgemental. Just because someone likes to learn or read a lot doesn't mean they did that to impress everyone else lol
It is astonishing how many extremely talented people lived a miserable life and died at a very young age in the past
or are currently
Like who?
@@pessimistkai5569 mozart, alexander the great
@@acacia8261 what is so great about Alexander? His greed for land and world dominance leading to such a large number of massacres?
@@santulsalwan5410 i'm not the one giving names
For everyone who's default state is "doing", I recommend voluntairy work in a hospice. There is nothing left "to do" in the presence of somebody who is dying, you can only "be" and if you do that well enough, it is highly appreciated.
Is that really something I can volunteer at with no medical training? I'm just remembering back to when my grandma was in hospice and the serious but serene nature of her in her bed and the quiet conversations going around the house.
What would i do as a volunteer? Because I'm intrigued
@@defenderfortheEld try calling up a local hospice and arranging an appointment for a visit. There are people in need of conversatìon, dishes to be washed for visitors, teas to be organised, people to be reassured, visiting pets to be stroked, music to be played... You will be appreciated.
@@defenderfortheEld we had a special group who cooked meals. I, for one, watched tv with people, went for a walk (wheelchair), playing monopoly or cards. I would listen to their stories, laugh with them but most of all just sat in silence. I quickly unlearned the urge to do something. That was quite liberating.
I am a recently licensed doctor and part of my work is gonna consist on that. I’m kind of scared not for the situation but I fear I am gonna come across too harsh and hurt people who are already hurting. It’s a fine line I need to balance on.
Most high achievers believe they owe society a debt for being more capable. Almost a responsibility to achieve and push society forward.
“Talent does what it can; genius does what it must”
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton
Hello how you doing?
This is me. Everyone told me "You have such a perfect life" and I hate myself so freaking much. I hate myself even more for not being happy with everything positive I have. I cry myself to sleep most days, and each time I feel actually happy then I feel like I don't deserve it. I look confident from afar, but I'm not.
Same🙃✌🏻
:(
You deserve happiness. My heart aches for you. I hope one day you’ll be able to find a way to truly be happy in this life. I’m not the happiest person but I do try my best to take joy in simple things. Best wishes friend.
Start by spending more time in nature. It might help.
Same here. *hugs*
It takes heart to battle great challenges, great faith to be victorious over them
His name is Dr favour helper relationship restorer
whatsAzpp him ☝️
I remember this idea from the "Why You Don't Need To Be Exceptional" video. I really love that video, and this one as well. I watched the exceptional video so many times so as to reassure myself that I don't need to be the best, and that reduced a lot of the anxiety that I initially caused myself to have
so you faced anxiety because you don't try to be exceptional, same is with achievers. You will only harm yourself more because your inner self will know that you could do better but you are settling by the thoughts that successful people cause harm to themselves
Yes. 💯🥇The rules for school (video)of life at youtube is wonderful.
@@harshaasiwal2540 no, I had anxiety because I put pressure on myself to be exceptional
I also watched that video endlessly, especially after graduating university and trying to have a life "figured out". I definitely had this notion, conscious or unconscious, that I needed to have something noteworthy to work toward. Looking back on it, I'm grateful for that time of being back at home unemployed and releasing myself of those restricting pressures.
“Wanting to be exceptional” has to come from a good place and not shame or guilt or a sense of inferiority. I hope everyone here want to be better because they’re already in a good place mentally, and self improvement is just another positive loop that makes them happy.
The constant feeling of not doing something really takes a toll
I finally graduated college & I was finally able to stop working two jobs because I can start my career, but right now there’s this weird gap where I don’t have to be doing anything or be anywhere and I’ve felt so guilty, frantic, anxious and I’m literally bouncing off the walls looking for something important to do. 😭 this video came to me at such a strange moment in my life
Join me in exposing the evil globalist agenda. IM SERIOUS!! If u respond, I will give u my ## . Money to be made in doing GOOD. Not joking!
you'll do great in life, hope you can rest more often now and find stuff that makes you happy
LITERALLY ME?? lol let's hang in there together!!! We'll somehow unlearn this
Hey, same situation for me now. How are you doing?
I walked in these shoes before I crashed & burned. I now live a more authentic life and love myself much more than when I was achieving great things. Someone I care about is living this lifestyle and its evident that its eating away at him. I do feel sad for him, and all of us who have fallen into this vicious cycle.
This social stigma is normal for most people, not just high achi-evers .
High-achievers merely overcome their issues. High-achievers are to be found as being a great parent, teacher or some other way. This seems to be an attack on merit rather than focus on a specific mental illness.
I'm a high achiever because I was ousted from my peers. So I had nowhere to go but up.
Yes! u have to turn to yourself for resilience , tenacity , and progress in this cruel world
That’s usually how all high achievers start, something hurtful always pushes them to do better. I myself can relate , and ppl think we don’t hurt🤣 we want to be better cuz we been hurt and want better for ourselves.
@@Lila17_ so true, so true
In the words of John Candy "an Olympic medal is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it"
This is interesting to think about, because I've known people who were high achievers simply because they were so much smarter than everyone else. Achievement was simply a by product. Like, I'll always remember this kid in elementary school who was just blisteringly smart. He set himself apart without even meaning to, he was just being himself. In elementary school! He worked hard for sure, but he had that extra thing you can never learn, it's just there or not. Then there are the folks who use their hard won intelligence in a different way, which this video is pointing out. And you can kind of tell the well adjusted achievers from the ones who are running from themselves.
IF i could accomplish my goals without ever being known, I would always prefer that to being famous in exchange for my accomplishments! Today we live in an age where anonymity is more difficult to preserve and being seen is easy.
@@MGTOWPsyche and the first step to achieving your goals is to- stop wasting time watching RUclips videos! 🤣
@@AliBaba-vw7mo High achiever here. So what you said.... eh.... Not really, high achiever's goals can be related to RUclips, they are also human, so they can and NEED to take breaks while doing activities related to their goals, etc. etc. etc.
Life is a mysterious black box with a gigatrillion variables. I think other than a persons habits and decisions, it’s really hard to precisely pin point why someone is successful in a particular field. Also- it’s really hard to define success to an individual level.
Point is, success is subjective, and the factors of success are too many. One has to be aware of the presence of great nuance.
Exactly
Once you start following School of Life you may try to be a high achiever of being enough, being content, and self acceptance. And from that you may find much more peace.
Yes, this is the path of my departure, turned not entirely away the the external world a couple of decades ago but have been giving priority to the internal world of perception and awareness for quite a while now much to my benefit. This has emphasized the need to detach from the sight of seeing so many still going in the same useless circles and barking up the wrong trees.
@Bryan Williams Yeah, I felt I gotten somewhere when I began to get the excellent feeling of satisfaction from the simple sufficiency of things, sounds like you and on a good path and thanx for the feedback. It's mountains beyond mountains but there are new and excellent views every time you top another pass.
I miss Alain's voice :(. I just feel like, to me, his voice can soothe me better.
Yeah, this voice is not good at all. I forced myself to listen it till the end, but yeah... there are channels with better voices.
this voice sounds more like AI than AI.
Suffering is a part of life. High achiever, low achiever, rich, poor, exceptional, non-exceptional, we all suffer. Different contexts, different forms, but non less or more than the other, cause pain is pain. And that’s life.
The essay makes valid point but the generalization is demoralizing. Be you an high achiever or not, you’d still suffer as long you’re alive. So in all, keep fueling your drive but make conscious effort to live honestly with yourself and face your demons as they come.
Couldn't have said it better
I believe the point of the video was to show that everyone does suffer, including the high achievers. People who don't feel like they have achieved much, or spend a lot of time not working, may believe that high achievers couldn't possibly be suffering because they have so much. But no matter how much you have, like you said, everyone suffers. It's not to say that only high achievers suffer, that is absurd, it's merely pointing out that the people you don't think are suffering, may actually be suffering just as, if not more than yourself. Always being succeeding may seem glamorous, but it's Hell. Literal Hell. I have always made straight As in school, and continue to do so in college. I try to make sure that I am the best I am in school. But from that, I never had friends, I never learned to talk with people, never learned how to merely interact with another human being because of how unimportant it was and still is. It's degrading, frustrating, and makes a person want to die. It makes you say terrible things, hurt people, feeling like your the only person who understands yourself because everyone is blinded from the "success" you claimed. It's madness, and it's just how life is.
Definitely agree, pain is pain. No one has it any better for being in a different context. But all too often we forget that high achievers, whom society so greatly praises, have their own pain too. I believe the video is just gently reminding us of that, since we generally tend to forget that.
That’s what I remind myself. I can be unhappy with money and success or unhappy with a mediocre life and nothing to show for it. I’m bound to have problems anyway, so I’d better not make my lack of accomplishment one of them.
It's unbelievable how my girlfriend almost had a mental breakdown the other day because of her self destructive and success driven efforts to get into medical school and you post this video now. I knew this would happen and she will probably get a full on mental breakdown later on as her exams get closer. She beats herself up over not having enough time to study for med school as well as keeping excellent grades for highschool. She doesn't need the grades from highschool for med school but she gets so much validation from them that she just can't imagine living without them. I am a slacker at school and have no motivation to do well at school because I hate the system and the way things are thought here in Bulgaria, although I am in one of the best schools in the country. I've tried keeping up good grades and it worked until I realized it's not worth the stress and mental instability it gave me. And know I watch as my girlfriend slowly but surely crumbles from stress and I can't help her, I've tried talking with her about priorities but she doesn't take her mental health into account at all and what am I supposed to say - "Stop studying so hard and relax or you'll get mentally ill!"? This video at least explained the situation she is in a bit clearly. She has decided to prioritize success over health and I guess my fate is to slowly watch her decend into madness.
She should see a therapist for sure..
@@laetitiasales3527 Yeah that won't happen sadly, she just keeps pretending everything is ok and wants her parents to think she is the perfect daughter and that I think doesn't include therapy in her mind. Of course things are getting worse as she has now started crying now and then from the stress she is engulfed into. And every time we talk about these problems, she's like "Yeah, I know I'll make it work somehow" and I don't wanna push it so we don't get into a heated argument and stress her out even more because her time with me is the little windows she has for taking a breath .
But I guess I'll need to strike the conversation soon.
LOW SELF ESTEEM IS THE PLAGUE OF OUR TIME . SAD
Having said this I remember a quote from Michael Caine which goes something like this:
"I've been rich and unhappy and poor and unhappy and I know which I'd rather be....".
This is ridiculous! The presupposition here is that the only motivation for achievement is tricking oneself from seeing the emptiness of the world. That's simply not the case at all. These kinds of achievers that are mentioned in this video couldn't possibly hold their fort of effort on a long-term basis. The absolute best high achievers understand the nihilism, they see the void but they understand that doing is better than hanging out, drinking tea, and doing nothing. It fundamentally breaks down to this idea that pure happiness isn't the goal at all. Happiness matters, but a sense of achievement and trying to chase perfection (and understanding that one never will achieve perfection) is a thrilling and ever-lasting joy.
Agree
Explained like a Pro. ! Agree🙌
Spot on! Second that completely :')
"they understand that doing is better than hanging out, drinking tea, and doing nothing". Well that's because they were unable to be happy by themselves, they felt a void by living a normal life. The point of the video is exactly the opposite, the fact that nobody really needs to do a lot stuff to be happy or to feel confortable with themselves and their lifes. A "sense of achievement and trying to chase perfection" comes from a desire for more, because a normal life feels insuficient.
This guy gets it. Only children spend their lives chasing some immature form of happiness
giving up on perfectionism, achieving less, doing less and finding a way to accept myself as i am and that being enough has made me a happier person. Although i highly empathise with other comments about also not being a high achiever on top of all this. I’ve met people who have outclassed me in their work and they often cannot see for themselves the thing they have achieved and also consider themselves low achievers
Hello how you doing
I totally disagree with this. I was top of my class. I have a good paying job, the only motivation for me was to get myself and my family out of poverty. Its not out of insecurity that I wanted to be top of my class.
haha yea School of Life generalizes and oversimplifies everything, it's pathetic.
Not insecurity? Poverty is one of the ultimate insecurities.
@@TheJeremyKentBGross ?? not wanting to be poor and have problems and stress regarding money is a insecurity??
I think this video generalises slightly but I feel the point it’s making is that an obsession with achievement can often mask a basic insecurity in an individual. To achieve is not a problem - and in your case you have reasons and ambitions that have required you to achieve. But, like everything in life, a desire can become an obsession, even an addiction - and that can lead to negative emotions and outcomes, even if the object of that desire is ostensibly a positive one.
Nothing wrong with being a high achiever, but it is not a unanimously good trait (no trait is), and it can come with a cost. I think this video just tries to highlight that, as with all aspects of life, something is never entirely as it may seem to an onlooker - even success and achievement.
@Abby in this case yes, but poverty isn’t always the driving factor. Some people can be high achievers because they wish to please parents, because of peer pressure, because of an admirable but stressful personal drive for success.
I think it’s just that nothing is black and white. No matter how good, or bad, something seems, there will be multiple dimensions to it. Poverty can teach humility, gratefulness, and provide people with an inner drive and desire to succeed, so in that respect it is not necessarily a unanimously negative experience, even if undesirable or unfair (I’m not condoning or advocating poverty of course). Similarly, high achievement may be built on negative traits or experiences. It’s a cliche but life is a tapestry and each thread is woven pretty intricately with many others, and I think these videos do a decent job of highlighting those complexities.
Wow, this is the story of my life. Former High Achiever who had a breakdown and realized I was pursuing lots of things because at the core I felt unworthy and unlovable. It is so liberating to be freed from the shackles of such thoughts. I am a new person now who pursues things because they make me truly happen and not because they can earn me another trophy I can show the world. I don’t need all that anymore to know I am worthy. Life is so much better on the other side of a breakdown.
"You can get all A’s and still flunk life." - Walker Percy
Hello how are you doing
@@bensonthomas2339 i've seen you saying hi a lot. What's up?
@@tobi-xo3if I’m Jenny tinna, were are you from
@@bensonthomas2339 So Benson Thomas is a Jenny? That's kinda confusing
@@tobi-xo3if I'm using someone else Gmail on this RUclips, I'm Jenny tinna can we talk better off RUclips
We often time pick up twisted beliefs from *childhood* about ourselves that are never addressed & corrected thus yielding hidden insecurities.
I empathize with people that are facing the challenges of being...
That being said, one love, *everybody* ❤⚖🧠
Whether you are struggling to put food on the table, pay bills, design the next best product, innovate the newest idea or leading by example; we are all flawed by self-doubt and various other negative emotions.
Hence, we are all fighting our own - relative - battles.
This is a great video, thank you!
Hello how you doing?
"they must cloth themselves in the garments of success to escape humiliation of their true selves" very accurate and extremely well said.
"success or failure which is more destructive?" Tao Te Ching
"Don't gain the world and lose your soul"
Hello how you doing?
I disagree with this generalization - I'm a high achiever but it's not a mask. I do it because I'm grateful for the privileged life I have and therefore strive to make the world a better place in an everlasting way as a way to give back to all that has been provided for me and to solve the problems that plague this world. I believe not all high-achievers are merely masking their inadequacy, but rather they're doing it because they genuinely want to make the world a better place in a big way because they're sick and tired of the problems that plague it and don't want to see a future that is destroyed by said problems. But also, it's because they see life as limited - we only live to be about 80 on average if we're lucky before we kick the bucket so at least for me it's a means to live life to the fullest - carpe diem after all.
I think we should indeed feel "sorry" for high achievers but if anything, it's because they're far and few in-between, they suffer from loneliness. They suffer from not being able to find fellow high-achievers to gel/jive with easily. I'm sure many high-achievers are mask-wearers, but I know a lot of high-achievers and their self-sacrifice is something to feel sorry for because they do it alone for the most part. Most high-achievers are very lonely. I think the world needs more high-achievers so that there can be less lonely high-achievers. And that way the world can be a better place. Additionally - a lot of high achievers suffer from anxiety/depression such as myself in the past because we aren't satisfied with our progress or that we fear our efforts may not be good enough to solving the problems we care about solving.
Our sense of inadequacy isn't self-centered rather it's other-centered. Wouldn't you rather have someone who was dissatisfied with how they aren't doing enough to make the world a better place as opposed to how little awards they're winning? For me, it's not about accolades, it's about seeing a world where we won't have to suffer from the systemic terrors of ages past such as chief among which - the fact that we're still suffering from the consequences of colonialism to this very day - from climate change to poverty. The world needs more high-achievers so that the world can truly be a better place in a big way. We need less self-centred people who only worry about their immediate surroundings, their local problems, their First-World Problems, who are complacent with their lives, and satisfied with the status quo.
Well worded and agreed
@@tommyreusse3858 then you didn't really read what I said - the video said high-achievers are mask-wearers, which to me screams insecurities. about the self. But what I said is I'm not insecure in who I am, rather I am insecure with how the world is still plagued with many problems and I wish there were more people who cared enough and put enough time/attention/work towards solving those problems. The video paints a very self-centred image of the high-achiever, which I vehemently disagree with.
+100 couldn't agree more
@nikul m madhu what is mediocrity? Who measures it? I can say a man who failed to build the ocean or even get to the bottom of it is mediocre. I can say a man who failed to sculpt the mountain peaks or to reach the peak of the highest one is mediocre. Mediocre is a quantifier created by a mediocre species. 🤷
@@nikulmmadhu6566 quoting Nietzsche 😂he would hate you
Imagine using that higher achieving quality to turn inward to heal the primordial wounds. To achieve “being” and releasing “doing”.
A paradox for certain
being is for rocks; doing if for humans
@@noahblack4246 says who? guy with Daddy issues?
This video offers a minuscule stereotyped view of high achievers.
To imagine all high achievers are the same with the same motives is to expose your limited experience in life:
High achievers are not all in pursuit of money or status - they're not all motivated by their Asian moms or the desire to prove they are superior to others.
Some of us are motivated by our passion for truth, our desire to fulfill our potentials and our hope to be able to contribute something valuable to humanity.
To add, it’s the need to be seen while achieving - is the problem. The achievement is worthless if nobody sees it. The desire to show off or prove oneself as higher than someone else, the not knowing when to stop and when to be satisfied (or not). It may be the culture or society to blame but we are all contributing to it.
Hello how are you doing
I have been very harsh on myself. Though I suppose the high achievers we celebrate are very few, very many of us felt so and were under intense pressure. I will pray for all those with such pressure to accept themselves without reason, and I will do the same for myself
Truth. Top of my class undergrad and graduate degrees. N all they said about my life IS SO TRUE. It took me being pulled out of life for a few years to see it for what it was. And to see all the pain that i was running from and the huge amount of self hate that was present.
Glad to be in a better more healing place. As i am now able to allow myself to actually FEEEEL my emotions , cry when i need, scream if i need, just allow myself to be with whatevrr emotions arise and be a space of compassion for it to exist. And it has made all the difference ❤ though it still isnt easy at times it is worth it for the person u are becoming .
"Doing is never enough if you neglect Being." ~E. Tolle. I'm not a high achiever, but I still need to be reminded that I will not somehow be saved from all my problems by doing all that I think I can DO.
I feel seen by this video. I’m healing the sense of deep inadequacy within myself. I never feel good enough and so I always feel driven to do more and more. Learning to keep that high achieving mindset and ambition while balancing out those feels of lack. You can still be a high achiever and heal the wounds that exists within yourself. Love how this video and channel isn’t afraid to put their perspective out there knowing it’ll trigger some
I don't have these problems. I'm not an over achiever. Very average....but I'm pretty happy with what I do have and I'm thankful for what things I do have. Thankful for my wife,cats,modest vehicles,and house.
To the *incredible person* that's seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't over blame yourself, accept things and go forward. You are precious and the keys to a happy life is in your hands. Stay Positive.
Same to you buddy!
We all make mistakes, Even high achievers.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Easier said than done :(
@@tekfoonlim4745 Thank you 😊.
It's sad to be on top because you'll never know who among that surrounds you, are really genuine and not just taking advantage.
Who cares? Have fun in life through achievement and improvement. People can do whatever the hell they want. As long as I get contentment and peace. Nothing else matters
@@akibalnur8070 right? I feel like people are looking into this a little too much. Everyone struggles, losers and winners. I don’t really see the need to single out successful peoples’ struggles, it feels like it’s almost minimizing the struggles of “un-successful” people.
@@jadedjimmy Indeed. I agree with you
@@akibalnur8070 yeah and not to beat a dead horse but, the original comment said something like “it’s sad to be on top because you don’t know who’s genuine”. The thing with that is, at least you HAVE a bunch of people surrounding you. Some people just straight up don’t have any friends, are lacking in socials skills, have no drive whatsoever, etc. which sounds like a much worse place to be in imho.
0:57 "Yeah I suppose I should have empathy for high achievers despite how they seem outwardly..."
1:43 "Wait this is me..."
4:37 "Ohhh I'm like the empathizer and the empathized"
Love the Aeon Flux type of animation by the way
Ah, I feel at peace after accepting that I don't need to be able to do everything.
Noooo ur the chosen one to fight the machines 😔
Would you accept stagnation? Me if I do nothing I'm a jobless and worthless neet. Stagnation is the worst thing. And doing nothing is stagnation.
its interesting how
a high achiever is usually in need of the most self love
i thinks theres worse things than being a high achiever. being average has its owns risks and rewards. financial instability for ex
Phew, thanks for the video, I literally was gonna study, thanks for opening my eyes, now I don't WANT TO !!!
🤣🤣🤣
I’m the high achiever this video depicted very well.. I always chase someone or something to love and proud of but never looked back to reassure my self.. now my next achievement is loving myself.
Basically describes my life since I hit high school. Only at 27 during COVID I finally allowed myself to take a year off of everything.
Really needed that! I didn't stop living the "high achieving" lifestyle. My schedule is still fully booked, I still wake at 5 AM to work out... but I learned to appreciate breaks in life that much more and I will incorporate more of them into my life.
I remember one friend who told me she had constant anxiety about being under-achiever. You could clearly see that even with all of success in the world, she is just not happy.
Hello how you doing ?
@@bensonthomas2339 I'm okay thanks, how are you? :)
@@milanperisic3636 I'm Jenny tinna by name were are you from
@@bensonthomas2339 Nice to meet u, I'm from Serbia. You?
I always felt that about my younger super achiever (yet sad inside) siblings. Hope they can can see that and escape from that jail someday.
Having an average life style also comes with negative outcomes. there's a risk and reward to being average as well. whether you think working long hours is wrong is your opinion. If you never talk the negatives of being average on this channel then I think this channel has a very average stand point on this issue of overachievers and everyone who isn't an overachiever. Im talking to you School of Life!!
Exactly, it's not like they all are suffering in the process. For some learning is fun, doing their job is fun and if they overachieve while doing what they love then what's the problem. We don't have to put others down in order to feel better about ourselves.
I agree... it may be true that a great many high achievers struggle to feel that they are enough without feeling successful, but by the same token a great many so called 'average' achievers also have the exact same problem, it might manifest in different ways.
The whole purpose of this channel is to provide false comfort and hence appeal to the larger population that is insecure about their childhood, love life, beauty and achievements. Sort of justify things in the name of psychology. There might be truth behind some of this, but most of this sounds like garbage opinion of someone very insecure.
@@AdarshPandeyFilms I like how you turned a personal opinion into a statement of assessment on an entire channel.
Top quality comment material.
@@nomoregdm thats the fucking point of comments. Comments literally are opinions.
Atleast im trying to be conscious about my own insecurities and calling BS on things that I feel are false. Psychology is very subjective indeed, but tell me one renowned psychologist who has said the things said in these videos.
I am a "high achiever" in my mid-40s. This video was interesting, and I enjoyed watching it. I am actually very content with my life. I wake up every day loving what I am doing. So, in my case at least, I don't see a dysfunction that this video is talking about. My work and success is a part of my identity. It makes me feel alive, and keeps me going. So, it is a positive thing for me.
This video is made to help low achievers feel better about themselves.
So saturated with the idea of “achieving” that you think that underachieving requires comforting!
It's not the high achivers fault to be born in a society that idealizes people who succed, but it's a reality that affects them and you can't deny that this mentality creeps in and a lot of them aren't satisfied ever, or have a sense of self outside their status. Again, not their fault, but our culture kind of "push" them into wanting more and more and, unintentionally, always having the need to prove something. That's what this video is putting a light on. Not every ambitious person has emotional problems, but our culture makes it easy for them to develop.
And being a "low achiver" is not a bad thing, the world needs balance, it needs someone who has a big company as much as it needs someone who works at a small shop in a small town, you think low achivers need reassurance about their status because YOU think being one is a bad thing, it's not reality, it's a reflection on your own mentality.
And high achievers too
@@poopanda1999 How does telling someone that they are lost and unloved if they don't give up their dreams going to make someone feel good about themselves?
Seriously 😂 also they seem to not grasp that you must be willing to sacrifice everything if you want to reach the top of society. If it was easy and peaceful everyone would do it
I feel much better now about my own lack of high achievement. This validates my choice simply to be content within myself, rather than striving to meet others' expectations of my potential as a genius.
This overstates that which drives high achievers. One can achieve without the goal itself being achievement, though if one does set their goals as mere achievement, then this video is likely quite accurate. There are many positive motivations out there that can organically result in achievement and achievement is not the same as seeking recognition, so let us not conflate the two.
High achiever here. What drove me to achieve highly in school and profession is not the need for approval of others -- I couldn't care less about it. But I have seen my parents fight about money a lot in my childhood upto a traumatizing point. I swore to myself that I will achieve until money is not an issue... Until I won't see my parents fighting about money again.
I don't think I am an achiever without an effort too. It took a lot of energy for every milestone, not an effortless one. hmm.. In that case, I am not sure where I belong in the categories ppl in the comments section describe.
@@ladyinred3735 If you're happy now, then it doesn't matter which category you belong to
I used to be like this and it messed me up, can relate and approve of this message. Peace!
Hello how you doing?
@@bensonthomas2339 Doing pretty good my friend
@@potapotapotapotapotapota I'm Jenny tinna by name were are you from
@@bensonthomas2339 I ain't giving away my personal information on the internet.
@@potapotapotapotapotapota can we talk better off RUclips then
I mean this seems like a way to just feel better about yourself if you're not a high achiever
Yeah I thought that. Comment section will be wild on this one
@@Steel0079 it's been only 16 minutes let's wait
I definitely want to be a high achiever
nah man trust me the recipie for 'high achiever' is literally just functional depression, mommy issues and the promise of a solution
People often confuse achievement with happiness. Achievement could bring happiness or unhappiness depending on our understanding of what happiness is. Ultimate happiness is unconditional meaning you are happy without any condition e.g. achieving something or not.
There are some high achievers that are like this and low achievers use this to excuse their own lack of success.
Hello how you doing ??
I relate strongly to this video, I find it takes us more willpower and loads of self work to slow down / turn down the next big project / stay still / rest than it does to just keep going. And I agree, often it takes a traumatic rock bottom experience to even realise what pressure you’ve been living under. I don’t like the title of the video though - why “feel sorry” for anyone? Maybe empathise with would be a better term? Because, like with everything and anything there are both ups and downs about being a high achiever - it’s not black and white. I don’t think “feeling sorry” for anyone leads to anything, just more divide between groups. I hate it when someone tilts their head at me as if I’m a victim. In some ways I am, living in this often tormented mental state, but it’s always a choice to at least try and break the cycle of doing in favour of being. Plus - my over achieving has lead to some truly incredible experiences that I do not take for granted. I don’t tilt my head at people who are “under achievers”, I respect them and their choices, and empathise with what that might mean for them. But pitying other people ? Not the way…
This hits home to me
As it's time, we're having our "future-deciding Board Exams" I'm grinding hard to keep my position secure, missing out on a lot of fun things and like so I don't have time for anything other than my textbooks, It's hard being so far away from people while actually being with them. I constantly feel overwhelmed and to cope with my emotions I relapsed and started cutting myself again. It's hard
Look up at the moon you'll see how much you have endured, find the strength to move on. We're gonna be alright.Also don't forget your doing a good job. It's going to be little longer, you'll be doing the fun little things you've been wishing in a while :)
India se ho kya vro?
I am in my mid-30s. When I was in 9th grade, a girl who was 1 year my senior committed suicide. I am not sure why she took that decision, but I assumed that she must have been under the pressure of upcoming board exams. When I look back today, board exams are of very little significance. I won't say that you shouldn't care at all, but don't take too much pressure either. I feel that my senior would have achieved a lot in life had she not taken that decision at that time.
I feel the same dude. It's as if scoring less is going to jeopardize my whole existence. Everyone's looking, everyone's judging me- the one they expect to be a top student...
Best of luck on the Board Exams. I'm no one to you but I think you are amazingly strong and that you are fated to have wonderful relationships in the future given the gentleness of your heart
Don't call me out like that😪😅
- I just want to let anyone who’s reading this, and going through a tough time know that it’s going to be okay. You’ll get through it! ✨
"it's going to be okay'' quote is a pain killer that not always is applicable to every situation. For instance people who suffer serious loss, like a tragic sudden death of a loved one. The grief, pain and bereavement will be with you until your time has come. For these people in the rest of their lives ''it's will never be okay''.
I know that this sentence is most used to describe acceptance of the situation and that this acceptance will ease the pain, but people never use "it's going to be okay'' in this kind of context. Or if they do, but don't understand that the person whom you are telling it, will never see this like that (because okay means a impossibility) and are seriously offended.
This quote is often used by people who have not been in the place the people are who they are telling it to. And this quote is often used by people who are very uncomfortable with the pain/sorrow/negativity of the person whom they are telling it to. They are looking for a quick fix and hoping this person ''will act normal soon''. It is better to project emphaty by not telling/''educating''/comforting them ''non-truths'' for your own sake. Just acknowledge their pain, acknowledge it is not going to be okay any more and only from there they can start refinding themselves and start the acceptance path they are on. Speaking of experience here.
This was me. Until I fell in love. Now, my heart is broken and I am my past self again. I am doing good in my career, I always achieved the best possible grades & outcomes etc., but satisfaction and happiness? Unknown feelings for me.
Poor you.
You just phrased my problems perfectly. My therapist keeps saying I’m worthy by just being me and I LITERALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!
Damn. It takes a while. The pressure we put on ourselves isn't sustainable for a lifetime. You will have a defeat, a failure that shows you the limits of yourself. It's a lesson for that moment...will you completely self destruct out of pure and utter loathing that you finally failed or will you look at yourself with empathy and compassion and finally feel your worth just cause you're here and you're alive? That's when you'll finally understand. That is if you choose the latter option. Here's to you choosing the latter option.
Makes me happy in my mediocrity to know the stress and suffering of high achievers.
As someone who constantly struggles with comparison, these two truths consistently sustains me and reminds me of what is wise to do, and what is not:
Galatians 6:4 “But each one must carefully scrutinize his own work [examining his actions, attitudes, and behavior], and then he can have the personal satisfaction and inner joy of doing something commendable without comparing himself to another.”
2 Corinthians 10:12 “We do not dare to put ourselves in the same group with those who think that they are very important. We do not compare ourselves to them. They use themselves to measure themselves, and they judge themselves by what they themselves are. This shows that they know nothing.”
I don't think this applies to all high achievers and 'successful' people. I do think there are those that this applies to, but not necessarily to all of them.
The whole purpose of this channel is to provide false comfort and hence appeal to the larger population that is insecure about their childhood, love life, beauty and achievements. Sort of justify things in the name of psychology. There might be truth behind some of this, but most of this sounds like garbage opinion of someone very insecure.
I immediately think of Robin Williams and Anthony Bourdain. So highly acclaimed yet it shocked the world at how lonely they were
God this. I've spent this year unemployed after medical school. It's the first time in my life I'm not working towards something and I feel worthless. I had to force myself for the first time ever to just do nothing. While it came with on/off periods of awful anxiety I also feel so relieved to just be.
Gosh, I'm dying inside. This is so true. Hoch die internationale Solidarität!
I needed this. Terribly. Thank you.
True for many I'm sure, but some also just want to create something awesome because they are not content with the world they live in. Creating something new and different, regardless of outside input, is often just a dopamine hit that no other drug can give.
Hello how you doing ?
Wow! That was a beautiful and powerful message! They have to achieve something to be enough and then they feel they are worthy of love!
Simply *being* is never enough! Ah perhaps the ultimate reason to feel sorry for the High Achievers!
"a less guilded world?" as a high achiever currently overcoming my fears of inadequacy, this video is amazing all but that line. My happiness is a fucking blessing to the world and the world is made better by my happiness. You are criticizing something but you are still mirroring the language that success and achievement are somehow tied to creativity and passion. Humans are amazing and talented and creative because that is what humans do when they are alive. Whether held down by misfortune or motivated by misfortune, we are all united in the pain that occurs from existing. Both high and low achievers are hurt. Everyone has value and their happiness has value. I want the world to be "guilded" in the genuine creativity and happiness of the people around me. I don't give a shit about the version of success people try to sell to get exactly what they want from you. A better world is a more beautiful world and a beautiful world is one where everyone is supported and happy because people make the world beautiful with their happiness.
The irony is that we are only interested in the failure stories of successful people. The School of Life is also a kind of a high achiever among philosophy channels on RUclips. Admit it or not, success matters. Philosophy can help to a certain extent, but too much of it will just make one a bum. No one is interested in the philosophy of a loser.
Define success. Is it being better than anyone else? Is it blindly plunging yourself into the rat race? Is it vying for adoration of people who probably begrudge you your successes? Or is it achieving the goals you want to achieve for yourself, regardless of what others think of it? Food for thought.
exactly this
I want to be a high achiever so I can see a result of all my efforts. I’m gonna be unhappy anyway, I graduated high school with the hugest mark and I felt miserable, I got in med school, I almost fucked up but managed to graduate and write my final essay while studying for my last exam. No one cares and I don’t plan on telling anybody when I get into my next school. I rather be successful and hollow that mediocre and mildly happy. It’s a no-win battle, the only sliver of hope is always aiming for more.
Best luck to all of us, friends.
You cannot have a positive life, with a negative mind ❤️🚀🌙
Im reporting spam bots. Jeez
As a high achiever, I do not get the comments of people against the video.
Might be biased, but, *I have never met any high achiever who is happy just by existing* , just as the video argues.
All the h.achievers I know are relatively stable and mature emotionally, but always struggle with self love and relationships (especially true for the ones who seem the more confident and happy). But I've never met one who after all their achievements are satisfied and happy, and just enjoy. *It is like is never enough* .
*Being a high achiever is very isolating* . It's lonely at the top. Not many people get you, people might feel intimidated or even resent you, even other very succesful people. *It also is a constant pressure* . People tell you they expect great things from you, treat you like so, and shape you identity around it. And even when you do achieve great things, there is this constant fear of letting them down, and a need to just keep aiming higher.
*It's exhausting not just being/doing something normal, like anyone else, and for that to be perfectly okay* . Because both people around, and your own brain are trained to expect more - always. On top of that, you can't complain. Because if you complain when having the best grades the best job, the best etc, people look at you as if you are insane or are just a petulant a**h***.
*It's like a prison made of gold, so much wealth but, at what cost?*
Great summary for years of therapy. Moving on doesn't always happen all at once
Hello how you doing??
As a high achiever, I personally felt seen from hearing this analysis 😢😊
Some of them seem inhuman to me. They’re just so good and perfect.
they are like a judge and that what makes people who are not on par with them insecure, because very ideal is a judge and constantly judging of what could be
So in simpler words high achievers feel like they are not enough and are empty inside and use their successes to try to feel complete, but they never do except for a few days at most.
Hello how you doing?
Imagine the cost of feeling mediocre...
There is a kind of double standard that is expected of "smart" people. When we do good, its "obvious", and when we do bad, they tell us "aren't you supposed to be smart". Growing up, I never felt understood, nor accepted, and looking back, I lived my life as the "smart guy". My whole existence boiled down to being smart for the purpose of being seen as smart. Because I was a "smart kid", and was never accepted in other ways.
Sad that the quality content of this channel has gradually decreasing..
I accept who I am and what I desire. I would rather try and fail than not try at all. Is it easy? No. I'm stronger. Accept your desires, accept the journey, accept the consequence of doing or not doing.
Reject mediocrity.
Please turn down the high language and academic words. These videos should be easily understood by everyone with all backgrounds all over the world.
Hello how are you doing?
at least they achieved something, I didnt achieve much but still suffer from that restless feeling in my leisure
Well this does seem like a blanket statement.
“It would be a less guilded world, but also a far happier one, in which we were readier to reassure self-hating titans of success that they were worthy of love all along.”
This is so correct. Life of a topper sucks
What I get from this Video is, that highachievers have the same problems like everyone else
Well, this pandemic has been the humbling event you mentioned and it was definitely a time to rest and reflect
Hello how you doing
Life is complicated. Thank you school of life for trying to make sense of it!
Hello how are you doing
*Its all about perspective* 🙏❤️