The Problem With Over-achievement
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- Опубликовано: 31 июл 2024
- Achieving a lot sounds like a wonderful idea, but we should pause before envying over-achievers too much: they are likely to have been driven not just by enthusiasm and intrinsic interest, but also by a more desperate and poignant need to prove themselves to people (usually way back in childhood) whose love was painfully conditional.
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Would you prefer to achieve a huge amount - or be at peace in your soul? Does this choice even make sense? Let us know in the comments below or we have a discussion going on right now our app available free here: bit.ly/2KMrnJH
What happens when you want to achieve your biggest goal but you are afraid of achieving it? What if you are afraid of not knowing what to do once you have achieved your ultimate goal?
Oh my f*cking god. This is exactly what I'm going through. I have the "last" goal I want to achieve... a succesful fintech company. And I'm kind of bummed in an odd way. Because I've already achieved everything else I wanted and I'm ready for retirement in another year at 25 years old. There's a part of me that wonders if I'll still be restless after that? Hopefully, I'll just decide to call it a life well lived and start a family.
JENN BUI wow whats the companies name?
Why not both?
Or realize neither will occur.
What I Really want is my mantra of:
Help humanity achieve harmony with Nature.
Rather than wanting a huge amount of money - I'd much prefer effective, lasting influence. From my pov, fame and fortune are empty rewards compared to enhancing humanity towards a less carcinogenic relationship with our host planet. Everything in our current modernity ought to encourage/nurture a humanity that propels more useful technology and personal practices towards minimizing damage 1) to our host ; 2) to our communities; and 3) to ourselves.
If money no longer were necessary as an incentive to compete and serve as an excuse to be selfish (like in societies where basic needs are taken cared of) you would only Hope their members had "higher" aspirations.
Sadly, there isn't a beloved global competition of nations competing on who is helping humanity become more in harmony with nature. Oh well.
In some jobs you don't get enough for your life without trying to archieve something huge.
I am studying design and when we don't archieve something new, creative, innovative, mindchanging at the end, we are no designers.
We have to move the people and our projects have to serve maaaaany of people.
Just think about people who study science, like physics. At the end they have to write a book about something new they have discovered. Something unknown to science before. That is huge.
So in some aspects, when you want to live a certain life or have a certain job, you have to archieve something huge. The world wouldn't work when not at least half of the people decide to archieve something huge.
Reminds me of the phrase: It is sad to get to the top of your ladder only to realize it was leaning against the wrong wall
Nice quote
Perfect ain't so perfect. ✌🦋😘
That’s sooo irritating.
That's exactly what it was feeling like
The thing is, it's like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It's always on the side you're not on. Caution on videos like this. They want you to fear success
i am an over achiever when it comes to school and i know my friends sometimes feel a bit jealous of me but they don’t understand that for me i’m not achieving anything, because my “achievements” aren’t as important as other things i need in my life but can’t have. this video perfectly described it.
Thank you for your perspective
This video struck a deep chord. My brother and I both experienced abuse and trauma as kids. He went on to get 3 college degrees, including a PhD at an Ivy League school with a full scholarship. He now does research involving machine learning, travels constantly, presents at conferences around the world, and is almost always sick and tired. I hit the road to be a "famous" musician for about 2 years, started to see success, but realized I would never be happy that way. I have zero desire to be famous anymore, and purposefully simplified my life. I love him to bits, but I really hope he does the same someday. It's hard living in his projected shadow, but I mostly want him to be happy and healthy. :/
ET Snyder Find something to really motivate u and not the advice from anyone to sway your mind. U can had 10 masters degrees and it won't fulfill what u really want to do in this lifetime.
I feel you, my grandfather, father and brother have all an PhD but I realized pretty early that they aren’t really happy with their life. They can’t stop and my father was never there for his children. I quit this year University to start over with something that gives my life a meaning. Wish all of us good luck 🍀
Thank you, that is consistent with my experience as well. I'm glad you realized what was going on and how to steer a different path. Somewhat ironically, I am about to graduate with my first degree at 33 years old, but it's a 2 year AAS in industrial design, targeted specifically so I could learn CAD software and modern manufacturing techniques. I'd be perfectly happy if I spend the rest of my working days in a machine shop, tinkering about and building things just a tad better where I can. Good luck too! 🍀
He will mellow with age I'm betting. And sometimes, achievement is more fun than satisfaction; despite what the School of Life might tell you. Good for you both :)
ET Snyder not to worry with time he will but glad you itself is in a peaceful space all these material things will all die and leave them in this world the important thing is to cherish those moments we take for granted with our loved ones 😳
Sounds like me. I could never relax, I always felt like I had to work, couldn't watch a movie, read a book...always driven to do more work, and was pretty successful in my field.
Untill I completely burned out last year. Trying to recover and find more balance in my life now.
I can relate. People are awed when they find out I used to be a straight-A student and was at the top of all my English classes even through English is my second language. What they don't know is that I suffered from severe bouts of shame, sadness, and thoughts of suicide. I am only moderately successful now, but I am happy. Learning the value of moderation can be the greatest achievement of all.
Thank you for sharing
wow that used to be me o.o I'm glad I chilled out and stopped caring about my parents approval, I feel much happier that way
HydrangeaDragon same, After quitting University and being in a ‚black hole‘ I realized life is too short to do what others want you to do, even if it’s your parents. Now I‘ll start over by going to the college of my choice
I feel you. I challenge myself so much to point where I have my own debates in my head. It’s exhausting
Absolutely true
Your video mentions how much society loves to celebrate over-achivers. To this I would add how it seems to love ridiculing, mocking and even condemning them once they begin to flame out. This also must contribute to their suffering.
This channel makes me think about things I've never thought about before, thank you
This year I finally acheived all the milestones that were on my bucket list. Shortly afterwards I fell into a great depression and am currently taking anti-depressants to crawl out of that hole and restructure my life and perspectives.
This video nails it very precisely.
We feel compassion for your situation - you are not alone, for sure.
Wow, it’s cool to get some real life examples in the comment section. Thx for sharing! Hope you get over it well. :)
This just hits me. I'm afraid of failure and a perfectionist.
I am also overachiever, and I can see its influence on my mental and physical health. Sometimes I suffer from this situation, but I really can't stop because it has become an addiction.
Parvin Ahmadova :(
Same
Same... I can't let the overachievements go. I put so much effort into getting recognized. So many people love me on the outside but for my image, and it's crazy because when I turn around, no one's at home. I live alone, my family is esstranged... My only romantic potential destroyed... I don't think people would guess this about me if they knew me in person unless they got really close and saw my anxiety attacks.
Same, I'm seriously trying to stop
this is happening to me right now
As a top 1 student myself, this is undeniably true in ways more than one. Amidst all of my achievements; there are always unfathomable sacrifices behind it :(
I have to admit I'm an underachiever for the same reasons shown. At least overachievers try to cope with their past by succeeding in life, making their traumas work for them, not against.
Thanks for this valuable nuance: though one might argue that the traumas are not quite working for the over-achievers either, given the underlying sense of dread, fraudulence and unworthiness these over-achieving types often register.
The School of Life Hi, thanks for the reply! Oh yes I understand the meaning of the video. I'm just saying "well, if you are going to suffer anyway, at least you'll get something by being an overachiever". But as you said, the best choice is to be at peace in your soul,. That is the path I'm trying to follow but it's hard in a material world where your accomplishments dictate who you are. Therefore being an overachiever is better then being an underachiever in a way.
Until you don't hit that goal of yours and you decide whatever unhealthy cooping skills will take a way the overwhelming feeling of worthless in that moment. It becomes a cycle.
Your mind portray anything you say and believes it. You setting yourself up for failure, Get some vigor in your life.
@@DetroitZeal this is not a valuable comment for me
This used to be me, but I no longer try to achieve to get the approval or love of my parents. I’ve accepted that I will never truly achieve that. Now, I see every achievement of mine as something that makes myself proud and that will push myself further to achieving my goals. I don’t brag or tell my family about my achievements at all now. I just live for my own approval. If I fail or do not live up to my own expectations, I give myself slack and compassion because I know I should be kinder to myself than my family would be.
Honestly same, I hope everything goes well for you
What if I have myself??
What if my ambitions are higher than my parent's expectations?
Exactly what I want to become. Thank you for sharing. The pressure to keep up my image as a perfect A+ student can be quite agonising. I sometimes demand too much from myself to the point of beating myself up when I don't hit my expectations. I realise that all this is really unhealthy and that I have to exercise a bit more self-compassion and cultivate strength of character. Those grades do not determine how much we can contribute to society and live a meaningful life.
I think I’m finally realising what contentment is, and why it is a better goal than success
me watching this at 2am with school tommorow on an assignment I want to make extra good
just wanted to say this channel had taught me so much about myself. And answered so many questions
Taught me. Thank me later.
Albert Albert maybe she’s not a native English speaker, just like the majority of the internet users. So for next time, you should consider being more polite, since you don’t know how your comments may affect a person. Just my opinion
Isabel Em I'm not a Native English speaker either so I mess up a lot when commenting in English and I strongly appreciate those correcting me. Maybe you should help people to improve their English instead of wasting your time trolling those doing so.
im an overachiever and it comes from both bullies and home life. I was bullied a lot in school and whilst I am driven because I enjoy the subject I am in, I am also driven by a desire for revenge and maybe "approval" I desire to have people be jealous of me to make me feel better especially those who bullied me and told me id never be anything. I live off praise and recognition.
Ok this was good, BUT not every over achiever is problematic. The problem occurs when someone still feels empty/sad/inferior after multiple successes. Many over achievers feel pretty good and satisfied after their successes and don’t go through such traumas. So there was a bit of over generalization going on in your video.
I completely agree, speaking from personal experience, my life is entirely focused around my achievements but its because I have this immense fear of under achieving... I am young and have yet to achieve what I want from life but the goals I have set myself are far from irealistic and once I achieve them I will be pretty content. You need to know when to stop and appreciate what they've achieved, life is too short to be constantly at full speed
Nikolas Melo
Don't ever be content with your achievements. Be content with yourself. Accept yourself and find a purpose for your work. If you can stop external validation from being one of your core motivators, then you're in great shape🖒
Chris' Book Reviews absolutelly! My comment was more aimed at a my professional career but I will never be so complacent to not want anything else from life. Thank you for your comment!
No, this is the definition of over-achieving... You are referring to high-achievers
They mentioned this at the beginning of the video. I mean, probably not in great detail.
But I find these videos helpful because no one piece of advice, even in video format, pertains to everyone or everything. Rather, I like to look at these videos as useful nuggets of information when I CAN apply them, not that I always have to.
Why is this video painting over-achievers as people who are compensating for psychological problems through their work when most under-achievers also suffer from these issues.
star666moon :
" misery".
EXACTLY. as if non achievers do not attempt to compensate for their personal problems.
I suppose its to a degree much worse for over achievers is what they're trying to point out. I'm only saying it from my POV but I have a normal/decent childhood and family. So I do want to achieve a little bit but not with the same reason as them; who had it tough from the start. I'm not trying to boast cause I know how fortunate I am. But that's my little take on it even if some might think I am talking from my ass. Sincerely, from me, a polite comment on RUclips.
I had to restrain myself from being offended. This video definitely applies to me. But, I think I understand the point of the video because it definitely applies to my upbringing.
"Oh you got a B, I don't love you." "You got an A, I don't love you."
"You got an A+, I love you." "You're number 1 in your school, I love you."
"You suck at swimming, I don't love you."
"You're team captain, I love you"
That was the dialogue of my mother to me. I was trained like a dog to believe I had to do "tricks" to be loved.
star666moon : Authism of Phylosophy POV does not suffer when pathalogy is in active issue : in texted " Therefore remove sorrow from your heart and put away evil from your flesh, for childhood and youth are vanity...😎
Sophie
The psychanalists would say that overachievement typically stems in the relationship with the parents, or care givers.
In the film Inception the topic is a big part in one of the main characters. The relationship between Fischer, quite the overachiever, and his father.
Fischer : [of his father] At the end, he called me to his deathbed. He could barely speak; but he took the trouble to tell me one last thing. He pulled me close... and I could only make out... one word: "Disappointed."
Later on it is explained that it was the father’s strategy to treat his son with contempt in order to push him to be obsessed with excellence.
Usually it’s not a conscious strategy, usually the care giver will be neglectfull and distant and that will stem the kid to be the best he can be.
Sophie wasn't that just a dream.. in reality, he really hated his son, really was disappointed ..Edit:never mind, I got ur point
Net Lag honestly it is left ambiguous, as you said, he mutteted something but fisher could only figure out one word, and for what we know, it could just as eadily be his mind the one who put that word in his father's mouth, just as how in the end we don't know if Cobb was still dreaming or if he finally met with his children in the real world.
Also the film is all about inserting a thought deep into the mind, so it naturally lends itself to all sorts of interpretation
I appreciate that these are uploaded in the morning where I live. It starts my day off with awareness..
Gabby Mendez good morning! Hope this is the start of a wonderful day for you.
None of your business thanks! Hello to you too
Gabby Mendez Haha! For a moment I thought you were being rude for no reason, then I noticed the username 😄 haha!
Maximillian Callender Hh
I could have used this video in college a few years ago. My obsession with academic perfection became a mental illness. And for what, summa cum laude on my graduation plaque, which is currently collecting dust in my room? The sacrifices I made, hours I worked, and hell I endured, truly for nothing.
Your college experience is pretty much a description of my life at the moment. And we have the same name (kinda freaky lol). I just don't know how to escape this rat race and a feeling of internal failure whenever I fail a test or exam
Yeah. I finished all my over-achiever goals like 5 years early & then I had a complete breakdown because it turned out, none of those things actually made me whole.
Buuuut then, mourned the loss of that life & realized that you can’t build something new until you tear down the old, and the new life I’m building is a lot of work but properly worth it and ACTUALLY fulfilling. Not easy…but worth it.
This struck me harshly. I spent my last few years of high school starting non profits, being in the news constantly, and pushing myself day and night so I could have the acclaim of others. After graduation, I won the most prestigious scholarship in my state and seemed to have everything set for myself - however, after that I’ve never been more depressed. I’m glad I’m now confronting my issues.
Extremely accurate! Thank you for spreading awareness
You mean that those who notice over achievers are themselves one.
Thank you!
This goes out to all the beautiful overachievers who were misunderstood and didn't get their needs met!
But, we wouldn't have achieved so much as a society if there weren't overachievers...
Very good point: though one might wonder what 'so much' really means - and how much of it one might wish to forfeit for the sake of genuine peace of mind.
The School of Life
Can you make a video or an essay on having a conversation? Like going from the surface, down to the heart?
And another one about a bit where you talk about, for example, how you never disagree with someone outright, instead, you agree and than smoothly guide them towards a different perspective, with an open ended question.
I try to do this in my daily life, but I fail many times. Can you make a video on that? It's practically helpful and would reduce a huge amount of misunderstanding in the society!
I think people would be open to more collaboration if they didn’t feel the need to overachieve. So maybe society would have achieved the same amount but in different (more positive) things
The wealth of nations is being built by the strength of individual psyches.
Once again, the timing of this video is very interesting! I'm not a hugely successful person, but i hold myself up to possibly unrealistic goals. I took a biology test yesterday that i got a D on. I don't get Ds, only As. i don't expect perfection out of those around me, but expect it from myself. I know why, it's no big mystery that I'm searching for acceptance from my dad, living in the shadows of my sister's disappointing choices, trying to make other's happy. It would be great if i ever finally achieve that feeling, but as I've aged I see that trying to make other's happy is not why we should do things, because no matter what we do, we can't make everyone happy and we shouldn't feel the responsibility to do so.
Thank you for sharing your perspective🙏🏽
This can’t apply to everyone? Some people who have seemily overachieved have definitely put in hard work, but have also had luck on their side. Not necessarily really trying to make huge achievements. - also I want evidence that that wasn’t Emma Watson at the end 🙊
Science with Katie where's emma Watson? Lol
Science with Katie that's a great observation, but as someone who went to selective schools based on grades, I'd argue majority of people are obsessed with over achieving💙💗💚💛PS, I subscribed to Yr channel
luck is a skill prove me wrong....you cant ha
Science with Katie No, it doesn't apply to everyone. Most people are just moderately driven or somewhat driven, and the video never said luck can't help an over achiever. The video is talking about people who are PATHOLOGICALLY driven, whether they reap the rewards from it or not, and whether luck helped them along the way or not. That's not to say everyone can't glean a lesson from the video, or that we can't all partially relate to what is being said, but there IS a difference between the pathologically driven and the rest of us, and it isn't all luck.
Glenn Page Music 🤔🤔this is interesting
now my dilemma between achieving vs. living a simple life has intensified
I wish i could achieve
Like the video says, it's not all that. I overachieve to fill a void and get validation. Sometimes if I don't have an award ceremony, competition, conference, or scholarship coming up I'll freak out and find one and way overextend myself just because I need that validation that lasts as long as someone's telling me good job. There are more important things and we should find a different way to be happy. You cannot be happy on accomplishments alone.
If it's your obsession in life, you will. But do you want an obsession?
first figure out exactly what u want to achieve
Man, this hit a little too close to home. Thank you for the reflection.
Throughout high school I worked so hard. I obtained straight A's, stellar SAT/ACT scores, and was involved with various extracurriculars. Upon getting accepted into Stanford University (dream school), I realized that I wasn't happy and something was not okay emotionally. People always look up to me for my accomplishments but I've realized pursuing symbolic goals doesn't add a single iota of happiness if there are internal psychological wounds affecting one's mental health.
I have met a few people like this. That "they can never stop running" is well put.
This channel makes me feel so good about my lazy, underachieving being
This is so beautiful and so true. All I do is because I don't feel enough, I don't feel as good as the rest and when I was a child I struggled having less than the others.
Nobody pointed out that once we overachievers come to a halt bc we realize the underlying fundamental error, we focus on emotional intelligence and self-esteem instead, but we get to keep all the skills from our overachieving times, and they feel pretty awesome :)
Agree!
Eh, there's a lot of COPE in this video.
I mean, where is the line between High achieving and overachieving? How much do you achieve before it's too much? Is it spirit in which you achieve that makes it too much? The fundamentals weren't really outlined here.
This video reminds me a little bit about how there's all these videos saying oh hey being high IQ isn't that great because high IQ people have hardships due to it. But what they don't say is that the problems are from the Envy of others. Crabs in a bucket.
Remove the envy and remove most of the hardship. There is nothing about being high IQ that is a disadvantage. Sorry, insecure people. Like damn. LOL
@@legalfictionnaturalfact3969 I concur. I was thinking about the crabs in a bucket too watching this. lol
School of Life after making me cry within less than 5 mins, "We hope you enjoyed this film." 🙂
the illustration this time around was actually very compelling, related to the content of the speech and wayy less distracting than some of the previous ones: kudos!
My over-achievement problem is i am feeling hollow shortly after I achieve what i want. So i move to my next goal to feel "something". Maybe because i never get acknowledgements for my achievements? I don't know... 😐
there needs to be a reason for them. like learn japanese so you read raw manga in kanji and watch raw anime, the achievement needs to allow you to do new stuff open a new pathway not close it. we need pathways to further our exploration.
Fr me too...
@@AR-dr1sb yo this is legitimately helpful thank you so much!
Exactly. Currently I finally achieved an earning goal which I thought would come 1 year later in life. Now I'm "successful" but immediately behind next accomplishment. I *really* want to allow myself to enjoy this success but I genuinely don't know how.
Nobody wants someone different from them outsmarting them. This has been heightened by diversity. Also DEI has made being better than others moot. And grades really can no longer be a bragging point alone. And not all As compare. A B+ Math student is smarter than A+ Political Science Major. If I were a PS major, I'd wipe the floor. Nvm Psychology, English, Humanities. I cannot tell you how many humanities majors struggle in quiz bowls about general knowledge.
We all have that one classmate that has too much pride and refuses to acknowledge they are already defeated...
That’s me. I’m not prideful at all but I am defeated emotionally.
That's me. I couldn't let it go if I wasn't the top.
That's me too, but I can see how it can affect social aspects of my life, so I try to change it.
Strongly agree 💯 achieving everything and still feeling empty is the worst feeling in the world
That's so deep! Thank you for the knowledge.
The timing of this video is impeccable. I was just starting to think about this topic in relation to me, so thank you for posting this video.
I resonate with this video--almost to an eerie extent. I've learned that overachieving in lieu of a healthy self-image and self-esteem leads to distraught and utter loneliness. Resolving internal conflict... is the key.
This is excellent! Wise, true, and very useful. Bravo!
so true . i was an over achiever during my school days . my friends used to get jealous of me . but only i knew the psychological suffering which i was enduring during that time. i became self critic and used to blame myself for little failure. i was getting many awards but deep down i felt worthless. But now things have changed a lot . i might look like a loser in life to an outsider but the kind of peace and estacy i feel now is far better than that time . after all real success is always internal . if our inner life is rich , we are successful
I found this video and it made me feel a lot better-
Recently I won a state-wide award for my knowledge in technology. I put myself in 2 other competitions and I hated myself for failing those. I’ve been sitting here in my room moping because I didn’t get all 3. I’m still upset but this made me feel a little more comforted. Thank you
Ummm this was actually a bit real could you just tone it down a bit so I don’t have to realise these extreme personality faults in myself
Why not? If there's a needle that can show you the truth, in return of some temporary pain, would you not take it? Change perspective a bit, and you may be able to enjoy it and your own company.
Abhi Shah yeah lol I was joking I wouldn’t have school of life notifications on if I didn’t want to do some serious reflecting
LOL that was funny, good one
Haha😂
Wow this is really well done.
I partially disagree with this proposition, sometimes an overachiever is driven by the other overachievers nevertheless whatever their past may be. There is nothing wrong in being ambitious or being an overachiever as long as they don't fool themselves with their achievements as a way to claim higher social status , make people envious, become snobbish or greedy. Sadly in today's world we see most of the achievers with these virtues. Then we tend to dismiss them by saying that it is sad to be at the top and it is lonely or they must have had some troubled past. Thank you!
lol. the defense mechanism is real
Actually too many overachievers are giving out their skills now.
Achieving peace within and gratitude in everyday life is far more satisfying and fulfilling 🤗
This video is reading me precisely. Unbelievably true. Thank u
Interesting description of over-achievers. They can be just as neurotic as underachievers, and they may even be underachievers to themselves. The bridge between under and over has been built, and the distinction between the two has been blurred, an almost postmodern act which draws one away from categorisation and into a grey blur of assimilation and unification.
Wow I had an insight watching this! Wonderful analysis School of Life! ❤
I study hard because im afraid of my life prospects if I don't.
When Science with Katie isn't in the comment section you know you're early.
Kevin Yeoh lmfao, she has commented now
here comes the h*rny little teenagers lol
. didn't know bitches today have class and appetite for intellectual discussions
+Jay Fawn
Hello Jay. I don't mean to offend you really, but it makes me sad to see that you talk about us women as " bitches" here. I mean imagine if I said " bastards", talking about the male friends in the comments section. Anyway, I am sure you must be a kinder person outside of this youtube land...Have a nice evening.
Love your graphics!
my mum is subtly pushing me to be some overachiever genius and work myself to the bone like "students in other schools" I'm not that kind of person. I can work hard, but not that hard. I can never be what she wants me to be. And I can't walk the path she wants me to walk.
Thanks for this... i didnt realized that until now... i now feel like i have a long journey to heal my wounds
It's pain that drives me, it's the promise I made to myself, to never ever be in that situation. Never will I let myself be vulnerable, never will I allow what I love to be taken away, never will I allow anyone to take my honor. I will find freedom, if not from this situation, then from this life.
It's been a year, my situation has improved, life's not only bearable, but it's a bit enjoyable as well. But I still haven't completely fulfilled that promise, so the fire still burns. I hope to find peace one day.
Thank you for this video. I always overachieved. Then last year when an ex tried to destroy me I fell into a pit of not knowing how to achieve at all.
This made me feel a lot better. Thanks.
Yes I work hard because I was bullied in the past and I came from a broken family. Plus I've tons of people who left me because they didnt believe in me
This hit hard... And brought tears to my eyes
I've always watched these videos as a way to better understand people from an outside observer's point of view, but this one caught me off guard and struck deep for the first time. It felt uncomfortable, but after reflection I think this video has helped me. Thank you.
I am an overachiever and this video pertains to me. This year I had a bad depression after I made one of my achievements. I went to a counselor after that and still going. The bad upbringings and heartbreak help fuel overachievers to become better people and inspire people so I rather be an overachiever. I think once an overachiever understands themself, they can manage their mental state.👩🎓👩⚕️👨🚀👮♂️👨🔧👨🏭👨🔬👩⚖
Brianna Williams same man, I am one of those high achievers and I am now at a point where I have achieved everything I've always wanted and I have never felt more empty
Brianna Williams i agree 100% discovering the roots of our motivation and how to accept them is an invaluable tool that can turn something dangerous into something wonderful.
You feel that way cause u accomplish a dream when in "reality", that's not your true dream.
It’s better to be a crazy over-achiever than a crazy and frustrated under-achiever though...
❤❤❤❤❤ this made me feel better tonight. Thank you once again, School of Life. 😊
I am an overachiever. Yes it’s true I have had a terrible childhood and an abusive father. I am currently in my first breakdown that has been going on for about a year now (Thanks for teaching me SOL!) . Yes I try to find comfort in achievement; it does not help when people are envious and they hate you :( please show a little kindness and we might help you later on!
I am also almost getting back in shape from my breakdown now. Thanks you helping me understand more about myself SOL. Not only the message but the presentation of your videos is also marvelous. I just thank you enough. 😘
Can’t thank you enough*
Again, thank you for this!
Great video, extremely relaable. Though I wouldn't call myself an over achiever, I am a bit obsessed with success and self loathe if I'm not good enough quite like a lot of those highly 'successful' individuals. This video is right on the money.
"Would you prefer to achieve a huge amount - or be at peace in your soul?"
Wouldn't a true over-achiever just try for both if peace in their soul is one of the things they wish to achieve?
I have been called an overachiever many many times and I truly am one, but my parents are always proud and expressive about things when I achieve them. Overachievers don't always work hard because they are unfulfilled, but because they know they can do better and want to strive for the impossible.
How do your parents react when you don't acheive a goal?
Brother, you’ve misled yourself to think that that comes from you.
I think you are addicted to their praise, which is why i think you think this “strive” is coming from you, but it’s not. I think the work you put in is coming from you, but not the strive. I could be wrong, but my point is, grasp the concepts in this vid, and do a deep dive into yourself. Peace’
They’re not necessarily proving to others but often to themselves
School of Life, you are guys great! Keep up this way 😊👍
This hurts close to home. When you find out that you overachieve to get some love from your parents, the sound of a building crashing down inside of you is the result. Then you can truly search for what you like.
It’s so true. Thanks for making this video
I love the animation in this!
Thank you for making this video
I can't even begin to explain how true this is
This videos help so much, thank you 🥺❤️
Anyone else think that the character in the vid has a Michael Jacksonesque look about him? Great video btw...very helpful as always School of life. A great context giver and soother for my recovering perfectionism.
what if i'm just addicted to seeing what i can become? what problems i can solve? how high i can reach if i just keep climbing? what if i'm not doing this to impress anyone but myself? what then? i hate being put on a pedestal bc i'm just me, don't idolise me, i'm not perfect but if i hate impressing others so much, why then??
Ótimo vídeo!
I must admit, becoming an overachiever kind of helped me get myself together since i’m pretty much naturally lazy without a goal. But at the same time it made me... addicted to having this materialistic power, a sense of superiority over other people around me. Although I haven’t really become #1 since there were a few exceptionally better ones, I still strive so hard just to see myself up in the ranks.
And to be honest, I still don’t see the harm in me overachieving other than me unnecessarily stressing out too much. Despite this, I do balance myself, when there’s no more work left to do I spend the whole day just indulging and relaxing. Perhaps it’s also a matter of knowing how to keep yourself intact, when you’re stressed have a moment for yourself in the near future where you relax.
Counteract is my method of dealing with this addiction, but maybe even this act is a luxury for those truly obsessed with the fruits of such labor. For these people, I hope the video helped you in some way to come to terms with yourself.
Man the animation was gorgeous
I can relate to this a bit, but I feel like working obsessively is better therapy than therapy. I've stopped my life at times to try to address core wounds, but I seem to get worse. Whereas when I focus all my energy on my projects I feel far more alive. It's like, I may as well make something good out of my messed up childhood.
I see many overachievers at my school. In fact, they are hated and are recognised as lucky, undeserved beings but it's all just their family's expectations or they are putting too much pressure on themselves. This made them grow anxiety and a lack of control over their own consciousness. I solely at my school am someone who is a decent student who is currently helping those with problems as I am already doing fine. I wish that all people in the world take pressure like a stepping stone to success and understand that expectations were never meant to be high.
Great work, wonderful
Wow!!! That was deep!!! 😲 I loved it!!!
I developed from thinking "I'm not good enough, I won't even try" to "I can get on the podium I just don't need to be number one". I like to be good enough to be among "the good ones", just not among the best. that way I'm satisfied with myself and respected enough to help me get over my self-doubt when it shows up from time to time.
I'm glad it is that way :)
my mother was always wonderful to me, always listened to me and remembered things i said or talked about, but for some reason i never felt heard. it was my own fault, i was stuck in a spiral of self-pity. i tried to over-achieve to compensate for that. it was a grave of my own digging, and i picked up the shovel for no reason in the first place
I think this is partly true. I think there are many successful people that don't have deep seated childhood trauma or lack of love in their life.
I identify with this very much... I noticed every time someone is proud of me, even work acquaintances, I imagine my dad. I also text my dad every time I do something even remotely impressive. It also just so happens that I lost my brother to mental health issues and homelessness (he went MIA), and I feel a huge pressure to "overachieve" for both my brother and myself for my mother's sake. I have felt huge waves of depression but suicide was never an option, especially since my brother went missing because I can't put my mother through it all again. I have to compensate for my brother's loss and fulfill what he was meant to become in terms of potential.
Maybe you can look yourself in the mirror in the morning, and tell yourself “ I dont have the responsibility to achieve for my mother or my brother. I have the responsibility to achieve for myself, baby.”
Well done… Certainly fascinating topic that could be expanded on in shared widely
But doesn't this what make the world go round? Without overachievers, we wouldn't taste some exciting discoveries and other fruits of their works. The world is really in equilibrium.
In tears watching this video :’(
Growing up, I competed with my twin sister who was recognized as student of the week multiple times as well as a Terrific Kid (despite both apparently only supposed to be awarded once...). As soon as high school hit she began to struggle and we became balanced in overall “score,” despite her score consisting of physical awards (sports, academic awards, jobs) and mine being non-obvious awards (lifelong music skills, 4.3 GPA, strength gains). Life’s natural state is definitely balance.
4.3 GPA? On what scale? Elementary school is not high school. The transition is not easily made when social factors get involved. Wait until college, then there's gonna be some critical thinking.
Enjoyed this! For all their fame and fortune and awards, I wouldn't trade places with them for anything in the world! I've had my own moderate successes in life without the glare of the public eye. I still have my privacy which I value far more than wealth and/or fame. I remember walking home from school in my teens with a friend who asked me what I wanted in life. I answered that I wanted to be rich and famous. She said she just wanted friends. She was killed in a car accident just before her 27 th birthday, newly married, no kids! I went on to have kids and grandkids. I agree with her, I'll take friends, true friends any day! Many at the top once they get there and have it all aren't happy and we've seen what happens to them and how they end up! smdh