GIRL TALK! Period Pain, Knowing He's the One, Sharing Expenses, Intimacy Before Marriage?
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- Опубликовано: 24 июл 2024
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I think you can have a joint account but I encourage women especially to have a separate account with your own funds in it. Your partner can know about it. It doesn’t have to be secretive or anything but always have your own coins!
This is really good advice. Thanks for sharing!
Highly agree with this! I do the same thing. :)
Yep my parents FORCED me to transfer some of my funds to their bank account jist for safe keeping before I got married. I didn’t believe at that time that it was necessary because my husband was not like that etc. but I later learned just how smart my parents were!!! I still have my own bank account and my husband knows about it but he isn’t all up in my business like before lol
When I worked, my money was my money. But my husbands money was ours lmao. It was his idea, also Islamically women don't have to share their money with their spouse or kids. But I was never greedy and still pitched in many ways. But my husband also makes way way more than I did. I haven't worked for about 4 years now because we had kids so that's my full time job now. I still have my own account that he deposits money into for me. 🥰
Yes in saudi we all do the same .. no one has joint account .. it’s not a thing here .. and men is responsible of providing the family income .. the only time women will help their man is when they are buying a house .. and it will be written in the contract how much did she paid
I was going to say this too, Islamically she's under no obligation to share her money!
Aww seems like such a healthy relationship, God bless you 🤍
MashAllah i wish all man were like your husband
Loren thinks with so much emotions and amanda is more practical. Loren is just like me. (When she just said what yours is mine and what's mine is yours) is so relatable to my thoughts.
These girls are just so so natural and relatable and I feel so connected with them. I feel like we are all friends here. I loved it.
A man coming home at 5 or 8am most likely has another woman. Trust me, I’m 38 and have seen a lot. Men don’t stay out that late with their buddies. My friend’s husband was doing this and then we found he had a taken a second wife (still trying to future out which imam in Toronto married him to the second wife).
I heard he does not have the obligation to tell his first wife but an honest man would mention it and be receptive to her feelings.
Facts
@@ichbiliazabat4643 People say he is not obligated to tell her but he is obligated to be just. So is that just? No, saying he is not obligated is just men trying to equivocate bad behavior. She does need to make an ultimatum. Leave or lock him out so he knows you mean business. Some men will behave like boys as much as you allow them.
@@ichbiliazabat4643 please please dont spread wrong things. Non Muslims could read your comment and have a misunderstanding about God and the religion. Yes he is obliged to ask permission from his wife not just tell her. And hes not allowed to marry for no reason
Fun video! Y'all should definitely do more like this. RE: sharing expenses, my partner and I (long term relationship but not married) came up with a budget together - rent, utilities, household, pets, entertainment, etc. along with a monthly savings goal and other sinking funds (vacations, big purchases, etc.) We then contribute towards that budget based on our salary - I actually make a little more so I contribute about 55%. Everything above and beyond goes into our personal checking/savings. So that "me" money is what I use for dinners out with friends, new clothes, etc. As our relationship has changed, so has our budget - for example, we now give gifts as a couple to both of our families, so that was added to our budget. No one needs "approval" to spend our joint money but we do make it a habit to check in on purchases over approximately $100 - I'm not going to double check for a regular grocery trip, but if I want a new kitchen appliance that is $300, we will talk about it.
Islamically, the husband is responsible for financing everything from house bills, to catering to your wife's necessities and then when children comes into the picture there needs also. This may sound too much for some people but we're not talking about luxury here but basic needs. If the wife earns somethings, it's her alone and the husband can only take it from her if she allows. And I think this is why Islam has given a rank higher to the husband then the wife not to mention in other scenarios like women and men are equal, a mother has been ranked three times greater than a father etc in Islam. So, in my opinion you should let your partner take care of the basic necessities whereas share your money when it comes to luxury like buying extravagant things, travel etc.
You both are my favorite sisters on RUclips. Just natural no drama no fake. Lots of love.
This girl talk was so fun to watch!! Hoping the next vlog is on the way 👀 Love both of you💗
Who else loves a girl talk video? 💖💞💖
I missed your video Amanda!! 🎥
Loved this type of video! You ladies should do a girl talk series monthly!
You have to do this more often!!! Loved it. Maybe you can do a little girl talk on your sister channel with Leena and Loren
yesss i love these talks,we need more of these
regarding joint expenses - i hear you amanda, 100%! i’ve always believed in contributing to joint expenses proportionate to income NOT 50/50. i’m gonna see if i can write out a math equation here lol. so joint expenses are things like rent, utilities, groceries, takeout, etc. anything that we as a couple do together, and isn’t necessarily a gift for my partner.
in order to determine what percent of monthly income we each need to contribute to the joint account, we use this formula (numbers chosen for ease of the equation):
partner A makes $2000 a month and partner B makes $3000 a month. so combined we bring home $5000 a month.
divide each partner’s income by the total combined. A = 2k/5k = 40% ; B = 3k/5k = 60%
next, there’s 2 ways to do this. you can just dump this percentage into a joint account for all joint spending (i.e., 40% and 60% of each paycheck into a joint account for joint spending, and the remaining into a personal account). OR you can calculate the budget of what ur joint expenses actually are each month (rent is $1k, groceries are $200, bills are $100, and miscellaneous spending is $200 = $1500 joint expenses each month) so partner A contributes 40% of $1500 which is $600 and partner B contributes 60%, which is $900.
hopefully this makes sense, but it’s always seemed way more practical, logical, and fair to me to just split things proportional to income.
Loren - agree about love languages. So so so important to know your love language and others around you (spouse, kids, in-laws, coworkers, etc)
Combining our finances is another form of intimacy for us. Its another level of being "one flesh". We have a shared budget that we can both see on our phone and we save up for things together and talk to each other before we make any really big purchases that are outside of the budget. This is just what works for us and every couple is different :)
Do you use Any app to share the budget?
Hey I love your videos and I am a regular viewer. On girl talk videos like this I would appreciate time stamps.
Love yah x
I got married at 32 and my husband is 3 years younger. I already owned my own house and was very settled so when we got married, I tracked all the finances and he pays me a bulk amount per month. When we go out, we take turns paying. At the end of the day, a woman must know how to manage finances as so many women feel stuck in a relationship. Each couple is different and needs to find what works for them.
We since day 1 decided that we would combine our income into joint accounts. We have different accounts for spending & bills. We both know what we spend on & it honestly helps us in a way that everything is 50/50. Everyone has a different opinion on this subject but it all comes down to your relationship & what your spouse is comfortable with!
Girls you are so sincere n pretty! 💕 This talk was so good i will be waiting number 2
Hope you had a fun trip with your family in Mexico!! 💖💞💖
You deserved it Amanda!! 💖😘💖
This was so enjoyable to listen to! Thanks so much for sharing. Loved it!
Such great advice you guys :) I agree with it all! I would say in our modern times women should always have their own bank account, independence is so very important for our livelihood. In the family I come from my Mum brought us up alone and my father didn't help her, so her independence and having her own money was so important and I would say the same for my own life in the relationship I have been in. I recently reached my mid 30s and not married/no kids, it's completely ok, the only thing is people say things to me like "it is getting to late for you to have a family", I really don't worry personally as I am happy and love living life, working and travel, being kind to others is what is important.
Love the back stage of the vase and mirror.
I’m so happy you posted!! I missed your videos 😊
I love the older sister. She is just a sweetheart ❤️❤️
I'm considering reverting so it was such a relief when I found your channel; and your sisters'. I've been worrying about how I would present myself as muslim i.e. could I still wear skinny jeans, tighter tops, etc. I don't know, I just feel like you make Islam feel more obtainable as a religion- like I wouldn't have to change so much. I can still be modest and not change much of how I present myself. My boyfriend is Pakistani so I know it would be a lot different culturally if we were to get married; but watching you and your sisters reminds me that there's not one 'image' of a muslim, and just because I wouldn't be a Pakistani muslim, doesn't mean I won't be as good of a muslim... if that makes sense... so thank you!
Your comment is so lovely! I hope Allah SWT makes things easy and peaceful for you! Allah SWT is kind and merciful, so baby steps are totally okay 💗
About wudhu and makeup, personally, I do my wudhu in the morning before I put on my makeup and I'm able to keep my wudu for the duhr and asr prayers! And by the time I get home, I take off my makeup before making wudu again, which then lasts for the maghrib and isha prayers! I hope that helps 😊
My best advice is changing gradually step by step dont rush it. 😊
As far as makeup i believe as long as it is non waterproof i usually just make wudu over it or better to take wudu before then put makeup 😘😘
@@Mary-rp1ci That does help, thank you!! :)
@@monylove6462 Thank you so much :)
Your videos always make my day, quite relaxing and helps me destress :)
My husband and I have been married for 1 year. In the early stages of our marriage we both had our own bank accounts and pay the bills 50/50 and we also had our own personal bills to pay. We started seeing that this was causing financial issues either I'll be short one time or he will be short. We spoke to my parents to see how they do it. My dad uses his whole check to pay for everything and whatever he can't complete my mom puts in and saves the rest for them. My husband and I started to do it like them and it's helped us save. We see marriage as a team so we consider it as our money. There will be times that one of us will get a raise at our jobs but we will still be equal. We don't see it as who is the bread maker in the marriage.
I’m 15 seconds in and I need a pt 2 already 🤩❤️
Please please please make more sister girl talk videos!!! Love you guys and you’re so so amazing !!!! You two are SOOO funny hahaha
I’m from the UK and this is the earliest I’ve been!
Hearing the thunder/Strom was the highlight for me since I stay in dubai and haven't seen rain in over a year.. loveeed it..
Loved this video! Pls make more like these ❤️
Married partners should share their incomes, particularly if they have children. I supported my husband when he did not have permanent work and he supported me when I stayed home to raise our children. But for this to work, you have to have shared financial goals and attitudes.
In Islam a wife’s money is hers. In this day and age it is fair to contribute or share expenses but it is wise to always keep some of your own money.
It’s so sad that the man feels like he can act like that! He definitely does not deserve his wife and if he doesn’t change his attitude soon, she should seriously consider leaving him. I know that’s rough, but he is not giving her her rights at the moment.
I really don't comment but now i have to. You guys are really mature and sensible the way you answered the question regarding intimacy before the wedding, as long as the Nikaah is performed then intimacy is halaal, i am surprised Muslims don't know this as yet.
You're such an inspiration.
New subscriber here. Absolutely love you and your family mashallah allahumma barik. May Allah protect you and bless you with a happy and blessed marriage. Ameen
Two queens ! Love you all 🤩
Queen is for young people who look old and sound bossy, princess are more befitting but to me it is more girly without the exalted names
Mashaallah, LOVED THE VIDEO SO MUCH.. you guys together , are amazing :)
When I had cramps, chammomile tea and a medication called Pamprin helped (the original one in the blue box). Also a heating pad on my stomach.
I mean, unless you're like leena. Her situation is different and I think it's a blessing she can share her success to Omar
And honestly for the finances I'd sit down with your fiance/spouse to see where he stands with it as well and find out a good balance for both of you. I feel like every couple is different with the financial situations and sometime life just happens as well.
Amanda and the girl who asked the question about transition period, seriously enjoy it as much as possible because one day u are going to wish u had made the most of it. Let it all happen naturally. My advice would be never push a guy to make that decision. Guys need to do it on own terms. I know alot of guys who didn't actually live a single life rebel later and cheat. Other than that ur very young and u have so much time 2 have kids
We will be celebrating 1 year in October. We combined all finances (each of us has a career.) We then “pay” ourselves out of our combined money, like an allowance. Works the best for us! Love the content.
Thank you for sharing! It’s so helpful to hear what others do.
This video is very enjoyable thank you for the great content , I Love you so much & keep going 🤍✨
Love how Loren was like groceries and he can pay the bills! LMAO that's what I'm talking about habibti!!!
Money fights are the second main cause of divorces in America. So We addressed that before We got married. I combined finances. There is not such a thing as 50/50 for us. At some point when I get pregnant my husband will be the one who will support us and I may not have income during that time and the fact the he will be bringing the money won’t mean that he will save more or make me more dependent of him or reverse if I work and he stays home. We talk about transactions we will have during the month , we both know how much money we have in the savings accounts. When I got married my husband had some debt I helped him paid that and we are in a financial peace Alhamdulillah. After married we became French (Oui) weeee 💕
About the islamic marriage. I did the same with my husband. We did nekah then we decided to move in together to save some money because why rent 2 apartments you know! But oh boy people around us were like How did you do that??? We were like come on it’s halal. It’s sad to see how people are not educated enough about their religion!
The marriage contract or the legal marriage protects your rights as a wife ,In many muslim countries nikah must be accompanied by a civil contract.
@@Nour-mv5jt my thoughts exactly. The legal marriage protects women (in a few ways but primarily financially, but it also sets a serious tone for the men and basically it makes it difficult for them to just take advantage of you & then leave the relationship). Many imams these days won’t even perform a nikkah without a legal marriage certificate secured first. In my opinion, there are too many crazy stories out there these days to risk being with a man with only having done a nikkah. Look out for yourselves ladies.
@@Nour-mv5jt People are not criticizing lack of legal marriage, they just want to comment on other people’s personal decision as far as what Nikah means without the full blown wedding ceremony. Some old school cultural customs think you need both but Islamically not the case.
loren you look like that girl from game of thrones (Aria’s sister ) sophie turner.
love the vid girls ❤️ keep em coming
For the girl’s whose husband comes at 5-8 am. You deserve a husband. I think you should talk to him if that doesn’t work go to marriage counseling. I think I’d watch out for cheating I hope he isn’t. I think leaving you at night is not acceptable unless he is working night shift. I think we deserve more that a roommate. Your house isn’t a hotel. I actually know someone who is in similar situation and he has another wife but doesn’t live with the other one and neither wife knows about each other. Be careful I hope it isn’t your case but check his phone, his location gps. It’s not being creepy but you can’t be fooled darling, I’d rather be called creepy and know where my husband is, rather than knowing 10 years later that he had another life and. If you choose to divorce be strong and do it. Don’t care about what other people think of divorce woman it better to be single than fooled.
Very well said !
Very very very true
Tracking is illegal in a lot of cases
@@Beautytrinkets you can both share locations. I personally share location with husband and also have his location. I got nothing to hide.
@@marjoriebaut7981maybe
Yayyy amandaa
So glad u uploaded 🥰🥰
Dry cupping can do wonders for period pains! Give this a try :)
Love these videos so much.❤️
Financially, we have a 3 joint accounts one for bills one for mortgage and one for groceries. Then we have our personal accounts and each month we take 'spending money' from our wages to spend for ourselves
We need more of these! Loved every bit of this video! Felt like I was one of your own sisters 😂 hope you girls are well 🤍
loved this one 💓
Keep a joint account and individual accounts and put money as needed or shared in joint account! This setup will help you learn your spending and keep accounts of money which is important!
A good idea is having separate accounts and a joint account where you both put an equal amount. The joint account is used for bills, dates, vacation, kids etc.
Waiting for another vlog with Ba Ba cooking. This time, what will you cook with Ba Ba? May be, Middle East food. Amanda, I like your family. You have got such a great family. MashaAllah.
We have a combined account and it works perfect for us. We both work around 40 hours a week. When we married we decided to choose combined accounts because we were like: everything we build is ours and not yours/mine. We have our budgets for everything, but we are relaxed with each other about it.
I live in the Netherlands.
I’ve been married 6 years next month and I remember saying that we’d have our own accounts but the longer your together the more everything just mashes together
When it comes to the finance part, if you don’t want to combine income and expenses, but still want it equal - dividing it by percentage could be an option.
So let’s say one earns double the amount than the other, it’s not equal for both to put in the same amount. But if you divide it by percentage, it’ll be more equal, and hopefully you’ll still have enough to save up and to spend on things only you’d be using. For example makeup, why should you partner help pay for it if they won’t be using it?
The husband benefits from having a visually appealing wife.
😂
@@MariamMariam-ue7vz same with beard and hair cuts for men.wives benefits from having a visually appealing husband too
@@Ihavemadeit999 I was replying to a comment regarding makeup costs. Women’s beauty products are very expensive. Men use few in comparison and especially don’t wear makeup. My point was that men benefit from their wives spending money to keep themselves beautiful so why should women have to pay that costs as if it’s something indulgent that benefits only them? Men cutting their hair and trimming their facial hair is cheap/free.
Im Christian but i love watching you guys and i agree with all of you say❤️
As soon as you guys said that husband came home at 530-8 am from "being at his boys" I was like OH NO GIRL GO FILE THAT THOSE DIVORCE PAPERS. NO. never mind no surprise dinners and stuff anymore. Stuff like that can be worked at but what kind of guys are hanging out like that regularly all night? NO SIR. THATS A LIE.
Oh my God love both of you so much yeyyyy💗💗💗🇮🇪
Love watching you two as a Muslim girl! Feel like I can relate to you so much 💓
I get emotions roller coaster 🎢 and I cry 😭.
We decided not to join accounts as I see this as well as part of my individuality (financial freedom, keeping my own surname etc..) Regarding the expenses he pays everything from his bank account and I give a lump-sum which is like 10% or 20% of the total budget. It works for us because he is earning more and I moved out from my country for him. Also keeping your money leaves you that freedom in case of one day it ends you still have some money to carry on your life. Hope it helps x
Amanda dear you should totally change your phone’s passcode 🤣 i love how you just shared it with all of us🤣❤️ love your videos 🥰❤️
You guys are the part of my life like whenever l just watch your videos l feel like l'm watching my sisters .l'm like oppssessed with every you do n you have May Allah give you more happiness 😗😗 love from Pakistan🇵🇰🇵🇰🇵🇰
Felt like I’m having a girls night with my sisters🥰🥰 keep making these videos, you both are awesome🤩❤️
Always have your own acct. He can know about the funds, and you can have a joint acct
Where do you guys get your jewelry?! Love all the pieces
Heyy ladies, with the finances,
I always heard and will follow the thought process of The guy should be able to take care of the girl financially.
so her money is her money and and his money is their money. if she WANTS to buy groceries or something then it shouldn't be an obligation like "I HAVE to buy Groceries so let me go do that"
and then with the "how do you know he is the one?" i think that you know he is if you feel comfortable around him. and not the butterfly feeling bc that's when you feel giddy with the person. I mean when you feel completely comfortable that you can imagine how life would be and be happy and confident around them.
Also praying istikhara is good to know if he is the one
@@Ihavemadeit999 Please explain ❤️
My husband pays for all the bills and I pay for all our luxuries. It works well for us ❤️
Very interesting Q and A/girl chat
Loooooooooooove these kinda videos 🤩🤩🤩💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
transitional periods and growing pains are often when you grow as a person!
I didn't want this video to end! Love your content and your sisters, in fact your whole family! May Allah bless you all with happiness, love, success and protection! I also have a few questions and would love some input.
I am looking to get married, however I don't want to be in "dating phase" too long because that sets up to be in a non-halal relationship and comes with its own drawbacks. However, without knowing the person and his family enough, doing a nekah/katb kitab is also scary. My question is, at what point should we go ahead with katb kitab? and if in between katb kitab and the actual wedding, something goes wrong and it's requiring a breakup, would the girl/guy be considered divorced?
Much love!
As for the woman whose husband is coming home at 5:30 am / 8:00 am another solution could also be: Couples Therapy! Therapy in of itself is so important - whether it be for yourself or for you and your spouse. But having a professional help them jump start that conversation and work it out with them could make it easier for them to understand each other and rebuild that communication. So, couples therapy could be the first step towards working things out and building a healthier relationship.
Thanks Amanda!
Love this 💕💕
We have separate accounts and a joint savings we both contribute too. He does take care of most of the expenses but I will add more to our savings that we use for any large purchases or vacations. End of the day my money is mine.
“Wait what was the question?” Amanda got stuck in her thoughts about Mohammad and forgot the question 😭😂 that’s so cute tho mashallah 🥰🥰
Hi Amanda!
Really enjoy ittttttt
It sounds like the guy could possibly be cheating….
Unfortunately I thought the same thing... hopefully he isn't
How to not feel desperate when it comes to marriage and feeling like it will never happen:( i am also 25 and still in college but have never met any suitable potential spouses so it gets quite depressing and lonely especially seeing others getting married all the time and sharing their happiness on social media, i cant help but feel less than
I love these videos 🥰mashallah girls. About the question of money me and my husband share everything. We have a joint account and we pay all the bills and grocery from one account. What's mine it's his and viceversa. I have nothing to hide and same for him. We trust each others in that way. But every relationship is different. Its very easy to say this for me would work but for someone else it can be hard. I hope you can do these videos at least once a month ☺☺
Loved this 😍😘
Create a budget together and monitor your money
Love from IRELAND 🍀♥️
How convenient someone asked a question that allowed them to talk about the videos sponser
You girls are really wise MashAllah
I love these talks ❤️
Great video 😊
I feel sharing religion in certain videos it’s good cuz it’s shares the great values in islam maybe others want to know about .. and i remember that i had watched a video of a man talks about islam and how it’s changed his life and he said that muslims should share this religion to others .. And you could be the reason if someone enters Islam ♥️
* excuse my English writing 😩😂
Hi Amanda! Just wanted to let you know at like the 15 minute mark we could see your password! You might want to change it!