How Do You Know Someone Is "The One"? || Jefferson Bethke
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 14 окт 2012
- Discover God's better way for sex, dating, marriage, and love in our new book here: amzn.to/2tecrvz
The question in the above video might be the most frequent relationship question I get. I think a lot of time the question is asked with a wrong presupposition. When we stop looking for the one, and start training ourselves to be "the one", we begin the path of joy. A lot of times that whisper in our heart that is looking for "the one" to ultimately satisfy us is there to point us to Jesus. Only He can truly satisfy and give life. When that is understood then human relationships get put in right perspective and begin to actually flourish more.
SPEAKING/SCHEDULING:
I'd love to come to your area! Speaking forms are here: ow.ly/c9oJL
MY INFO
Facebook: ow.ly/bMEPU
Twitter: ow.ly/bMEQd
Site: ow.ly/bMERM
Email: jeffersonbethke@gmail.com
VIDEOGRAPHER INFO:
Facebook: ow.ly/ctFhh
Twitter: ow.ly/ctFeS
Site: ow.ly/ctFea
Email: matthew@cikproductions.comGet my audibook FREE here: www.jeffbethke.com/audibleGet my audibook FREE here: www.jeffbethke.com/audibleGet my audibook FREE here: www.jeffbethke.com/audible
2:11 "It's not about 'finding' the one, it's about preparing yourself to be the one". Yesss!!!
heydebee I agree 🙏👍
heydebee I literally got chills❤️
Peace be with you
Amen 🙏
You can turn anyone into "The One"
I think there needs to be a distinction here. The question of How Do You Know Someone Is "The One"? is a valid question we should ask. I think what most people mean when they ask that question is: "Is God calling me to be with this person?" I strongly believe that God calls us to be with someone and in a sense that person is "the one". Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." I think if we are in communion with Christ then he will clearly lay out a path for us to follow. Do you believe your first encounter with your wife Alyssa was by chance or that he arranged things in a way that both of you were able to cross paths so you got the chance to discern his plan for both of you? Was your choice to marry her just based on your whims or did he place a strong desire in your heart to ask her to marry you? The one does exist. It's just not the fantasy person we imagine in our heads. The one is the person God is calling us to be with.
Everyone who is alive today is alive because God wills it regardless of what anyone did 3000 years ago. I am sure, somewhere along the line, an ancestor made the wrong choice but even back then God had it planned that I would be born when and where I was born.
+Groud Frank I totally agree with you on this. God has designed our lives so that we can live in his complete fullness. Just like God created Eve for Adam, Sarah for Abraham, and Rebekah for Issac, God has created a husband and wife for us that we can be in union with to fulfill HIS perfect will.
What I believe Jefferson is saying is that our idea of "THE ONE" ; only leads to idolatry......where we are using that person to define our purpose and happiness in life. There is no "the one". There is the helpmate. The helpmate is the person that is in fellowship with Christ (because God requests that we do not become unequally yoked with nonbelievers)and is the person that God has spoken to you directly and said this is your wife or husband. If you are dating someone that is a christian but God has not given you confirmation that that is your life partner then they ARE NOT your helpmate. Through Christ we can talk to God via "prayer" and ask him what his perfect will is for our lives.
Be OBEDIENT to God and put him FIRST and WHOEVER your HELPMATE IS GOD WILL MAKE IT CRYSTAL CLEAR.
+HeirnBell So true and like he said we have to first be men and women of God. We have to be that awesome future spouse we all desire so that we can be a medium through which God communicates and reveals his love to the other person no matter what state they are in.
well said:)
Couldn't have said this better myself !!!
Groud Frank GOD BLESS YOU
I really like that he turned it around; instead of just looking for the one, prepare yourself to BE the one.
that just the same as 'don't expect people to be better, YOU be better than you were before' so yeah.. same shit diff day XD
I love how this video from Jeff has over a million views, yet videos about intimacy with God have under 40k. That right there shows you what people are worried about, and it's not seeking the Kingdom of God but the kingdom of "the one." Most of us (not all) on this thread can't even hear Jesus speaking to us in the spirit and yet we are worried about some random person in the world in hopes that they will complete us. No. Jesus completes he doesn't compete. Seek first the KINGDOM OF GOD, and everything shall be added unto you.
yasss!
+Beth S Amen sister!
There are a lot of other factors that go into video view count than what people consciously choose to click on.
Matthew Barnard
With the view count having such a large gap compared to other videos by Jeff? These so called "other factors" have very little relevance.
I Bethany I yo sometimes people like this give you insight and help you seek the kingdom of God. this will help you grow
I feel like a great weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I've heard a handful of times that your future partner isn't going to be who you thought it would be. Or more specifically, they won't be what you want but what you need. Thank you for posting this video. I think I have found the spiritual teacher I have been praying about and earnestly searching for.
I think the key is to just focus on your walk with God. Too many of us make decisions based on emotions while believing that it is real love. Always put God first and live in faith and then if He has a marriage planned in your life, it'll happen. It'll be clear as day as it was for many Christians I know.
what if you are with someone but you don't have any emotions towards them? 😔 I know that God put us in each others' lives at the time that he did for a reason, but now I'm questioning whether we were meant to be together forever or if we were only meant to be in each others lives for a season until our purpose in each others lives was complete. I've been struggling with this for a while now.
cubanita365 I don't know what situation you are in but you have to make an effort to love someone. It's not automatic. Feelings of love will fade away with time. Many people think if two are meant to be, they'll feel like they're on honeymoon all the time. It is wrong.
Maybe don't just pick whoever you want- he probably meant pick whoever as long as you do it prayerfully. My parents got divorced because their relationship wasn't rooted in Christ anymore. When you decide to marry someone, you need to be SURE not that they're the one, but that they actually know Jesus. Not that they go to church, but that they are transformed by their relationship with Jesus Christ. Because if you believe in Jesus and know him personally, you know that God IS Love. How will your spouse understand your love or be able to love you if they don't know what (or who) Love is?
Lizzy Seay Amen!! 🙌🏼
+Arnold Oliveros really true I guess
Yeah...God does leave the choice ultimately up to us, but as with all choices in life, you can sometimes make a less than ideal one...
Lizzy Seay amen!
Very good advice. I want my kids to have spouses that are following Jesus in words and deeds.
The one does exsist. God brings 2 people together.
therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."....this does not say man pick who ever you like....nor does it say that no matter who you pick god WILL join together....but the message is great about pressure....and we all need to remember this often thank you for this teaching :)
+Appel Taart yes but he is trying to say there isn't just ONE person out there for you.
+GenesisNotExodus Exactly. Ofcourse God brings two people together, but it doesn't depend on getting lucky like he 'told about treating the Word of God as a fortune cookie.
Rachena S yeah it isn't luck at all
Actually, dunno
My opinion is that there isn't a pre-destined person that you are meant to be with above all others. As in, you shouldn't doubt that your wife was the "correct" choice.
I think that "the one" is a creation that you make by building and sowing into a relationship over time. It isn't something you find, it's something _you both make together._ A relationship can only be built with time and selflessness.
So anyone you so choose can be "the one" for you, if you will commit to eachother. Whatever choice you make, God will bless.
my opinion is just as same as urs....👍
Same here :)
Don't get me wrong, there are obviously red flags and some relationships aren't worth fighting for if they're actually that unhealthy. But in general I think a relationship is what you put into it, not what you find initially.
Yea, definitely. It's all about commitment. Both partners need to truly care for and want to be with the other person _before_ the notorious and highly sought-after "falling in love" occurs. Only then will the couple reach a higher level, resulting in a relationship worth fighting for. But I think if you commit yourself and genuinely invest in a healthy relationship, then everything will fall into place automatically. One should not go into a relationship self-entitled and expecting to receive all the time.
hamster. Yea, for sure.
One thing I've observed is that in almost any relationship there is a "honeymooning" phase where you're totally "in love" with this person, but that phase never lasts forever. Even the most "compatible" couples will always have to go through a sort of trial where they are forced to either _choose_ to love their significant other or move on.
Because it doesn't matter how cute she is or how amazing she is, eventually the shine is going to wear off and you're both going to realize that you're fallible humans with annoying quirks and stupid flaws.
But I believe that if you can perservere and keep your relationship alive through that initial testing period when the shine wears off, then you can have a very strong relationship. It will be strong because it will have a strong foundation not rooted in external beauty, or how you "like" the person all the time, but how you _love_ the person even if they bug the hell out of you sometimes.
Because lets face it, you will _never_ find a person who pleases you all the time, and you will never please them all the time. Love isn't about that, it's more about a long term commitment that you make regardless of that stuff.
I understand what you're saying, and I agree with what you are saying. But when I think of "the one", I am not thinking of it in the way you are talking about. I believe that God already knows who we will marry and has already chosen who we will marry. I think of it as "the one the Lord has for me", not "the one who fits into all of my requirements." Just my perspective.
Agree; imo, 'The One' is 'God's Recommended One', not necessarily a prearranged person like in traditional Indian/Middle Eastern marriages.
Read my book design for woman as yourself. amazon.com/author/fbrathwaitejr
Through my experience, I have found that being spiritually aware of myself and the Holy Spirit that resides in me has led me to the man I believe is "the One". And I became aware of this in an airport in Rome, Italy, and through his eyes I felt the heavens open up and I realized that in that moment I recognized God in him. So, I do believe everyone has that one person they were meant to be with, and some people go through a whole lifetime without meeting them, but as long as we work on ourselves, He will see our efforts and only He knows what is best for us, whether or not that involves a significant other in our current lifetime.
The One is Jesus Christ! Put Him first! Even in marriage.
I agree with the majority. However, since it is Gods will and not yours. He may have someone particularly in mind for you. Someone that will compliment your strengths and weakness perfectly, and bring you happiness and God glory.
I believe if you truly trust in God, love isn't something you need to worry about. "Be anxious in nothing but in everything give thanks.." Just don't worry about it and trust God
JwahAmore41 I ABSOLUTELY agree with you. Its not very christ like for a Man to behave that way. I believe when a man trusts God they also LOVE God, and desire things that are OF God. This includes a Christian relationship where God is at the foundation of their lives. However I have heard stories about 2 very strong believers in Christ patiently waited for God to show them that one person in life. They weren't just blindly pursuing women and asking different Christian girls on dates or whatever but they trusted that God would make it clear to them when they have found that person, and thats exactly what happened. These 2 people had a tremendous faith, and I believe God rewarded them just for having that strong faith alone. So it CAN happen simply by putting your trust in God but I believe it takes a rare level of faith for God to reward someone like that.
But I believe we should also pursue other believers and take responsibility as men to find that women of God we will love and treasure for the rest of our life. Men are typically anxious when approaching women but if we do the foot work and just take that step of faith God will help us with rest. Men of faith should approach women confidently and in full assurance that God will not let their journey and pursuit for love end in disappointment.
"You don’t marry someone because he’s your soul mate; he becomes your soul mate because you married him." - Julie Shaw
I do not agree at all. You can't know someone will become your soul mate just out of marriage. You have to know that before so that it's strengthened when you do get married
Actually, I believe this quote is pretty true. It says that God accepts all marriages. Once you're married to someone, whoever it is, God expects you to be committed to that person.
Actually, I believe this quote is pretty true. It says that God accepts all marriages. Once you're married to someone, whoever it is, God expects you to be committed to that person.
I heard a similar quote and I don’t remember who said it but Pastor James Macdonald quotes it “Love doesn’t make the marriage; marriage makes the love.”
I don't totally agree. I feel when looking for a partner you have to put it in prayer so God can guide you to the right person. You cant just pick anyone because they may not be suitable. They may not share your faith as strongly as you do. The most important thing is to seek God and be around and talk to like minded people. You have to be so connected to God that if the wrong or right person comes around you can act accordingly.
Good reading... amazon.com/author/fbrathwaitejr
Yes! God will tell you who He has for you. And also He will open your eyes to SEE that , that person is the one too.💜
The thing I have a problem with in this video, to me you can't miss "the one" because that person is someone God has already picked out for you. I have dated many women but when I found the one things were different because I found that we were right for each other. The thing is everything happened so naturally it was like I barely even needed to try because we just matched up with each other and to be honest it isn't even like we are similar, it is just that I found something with her that I didn't find with other people. We have had so many great conversations about scripture and just everytime we are together we seem to build each other up. We go to church together, we pray together, there is just something about the relationship I am in now that I never had before. Maybe you think it is crazy but we have something special together.
Update?
dillonnj45 l second that?
I'll just put my trust on God and let Him handle my life. I know His will is perfect and better than my own will
Genesis 2:18 "The lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." God made Eve for Adam. She's not just any woman, she is a woman that is suitable for Adam and so, I think that God has a woman for every man. I don't think it should be random but, I also don't think we should try so hard to find "the one" either. The people in a marriage should bring out the best in each other without trying to find completion in each other. Completion only comes through Christ.
My views on 'The One' are almost completely opposite of what he describes. I see 'The One' as someone to serve and someone to change you and continually make you a more Godly person by strengthening your walk with the Lord, not someone to serve you and fit in seamlessly with how you are now. I also believe that finding 'The One' is only the first part, the next step is to work on making yourself right for them.
That's what I heard him say and then he said that doesn't exist. I don't think he meant that that was what he thought, just that that's what people mean when they talk about 'The One'. I think he and I agree and he just should have expanded better.
Michael Carnes amen!
it's Gods job to change us not our spouse but your spouse is suppose to serve you and help you while God changes you both
I pray for God to prepare me and my heart, AND him and his heart, for the day we meet.
I have similar, yet a bit different view of "the one"..
In my opinion God's Providence puts us in situations that may or may not be determinant for us -- depending upon how much are we OPEN to His will. So if I humbly and sincerely pray for the right person, I know that God will hear my prayer. He has created me and knows my heart better than anyone, so this theory about picking just about anyone for the sacrament of holy matrimony is a bit weird in my opinion. I know a person (male) who asked God for his true soul mate, and he has met her and lives purposely and holy with her. So guys don't just pick anyone. :)
the concept of the one is that God has 1 specific person that he has created specifically for you to meet and marry there is no biblical basis to indicate that. Picking who you want is actually biblical though look at the scripture. Don't forget that God gave us free will the freedom to choose just as you have the freedom to choose to accept the Lord or not to accept him you have that same freedom in relationships if you did not have the freedom to choose who you wanted to be with God would have never gave the warning not to marry people that don't believe in him Deut 7:3; 2 Corinthians 6:14 so what he's saying there is a pick from the ones who believe in him not the ones that don't believe in him. You mentioned praying you can pray and ask God to bring someone to you with the qualities that you want and he will that happened with my mom but that is something different that is answering a prayer which is different than the concept of the one.
I completely agree with you! Although I liked that Jefferson said that we need to try to be the one
Hey guys! You can get my audiobook for free right now when u sign up for free trial at jeffbethke.com/audible
Secular people "Date" which includes Fornication. The young man and young woman who follows Jesus Christ gauge each others spiritual walk by Courting first, and both use "Time" a tool created by Jesus Christ to reflect, and determine if young man or young woman is suitable as a spiritual helpmate in Marriage. The secular concept of dating is a suppose "natural behavior" base on the "Evolution of Natural Selection" with an expectancy of sexual intimacy within 21 days or less, that is a secular philosophy inspire by fallen angels. Good video brother Jefferson.
Nah.
Norm Ball You seriously need to get a life.
leandean100
Do really think so.
leandean100 your a fuckin idiot this video is great and helps alot
I disagree with you picking who you want. I've tried that method and what I've discovered is that I AM NOT CAPABLE of finding the ONE the LORD has chosen for me. His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts so how can we FIND the right one?? He has a plan and if we just TRUST Him to SEND that person and not go looking for it ourselves, the person He sends will be better than any one we could've chosen ourselves and will be better than we ever expect. I am living proof that trusting and waiting on the LORD, to send the right person, works. He sent me mine and I am soooo thankful that I stopped looking and started trusting.
Amen ! God has a plan.
All I have left to say about this video is that GOD SPEAKS! He even speaks specifically to our life situations. Don't ever think it is ok to make life decisions without God's consent. He may not answer when we want and he may not answer the way we want, but he answers according to his will. We don't have to walk blindly through life, crossing our fingers and hoping that we are in God's will. God speaks specifically and according to his will for your life.
Also, ur partner should draw you closer to God and should be okay with coming second in your heart to Jesus.
Best quote ever- "We don't marry perfection, we marry potential." #lds #ldsGeneralCoference
Also I agree: a relationship is preparation for marriage.
Identify yourself with God than man. for man hurts, crushes ,change ,give up but God continue to love,comfort and forgives .yah he is awesome trust in him.
Can't believe I stumbled upon this. Thank you!!
+Sean Ooi Same here
I'm reminded of something my ex-girlfriend said to me: "Suppose we actually got married, and you had me for the rest of your life. What would you do then? What would you pursue? What else would fill your life?" I didn't have an answer, because all I cared about was not being or feeling alone. We broke up many years ago, but for me, that stance hasn't really changed. I know a ton of folks say that God's supposed to be enough, but to me that's like saying you'll never need anyone else but Him. Even Adam was lonely in Eden, and he had constant personal communication with God. What makes us think that we're supposed to be 100% content while single, just us and God? I don't understand that; it just feels very wrong inside to me.
this is the best view ive heard on this issue. Thank you
Yeah the best video with the wrong message. At times God would describe a partner to you, a partner that He Himself approves of because He knows what's best for you. And when you meet them then you realise God wasn't lying when He gave a description. Then someone makes a video that there is nothing like the one and you expect someone who got revelation on their future partner to believe such unscriptural talk?? Eh... no. There are many godly people out there and people choose from their minds, that's why divorce rates are increasingly high. Unless God approves of someone, your choice/ selection leads to less joy than what you would have had if you waited on God's leading.
I do not agree that women put pressure on men because they expect them to be "the one". Those who put pressure on someone to be this perfect being are immature about dating/ courtship and marriage and it has nothing to do with the sex of a person. Many men have unrealistic partner goals too. Back up every video you watch with the word of God. This young man was speaking his thoughts, not God's word. Isaac was lead by God on who to marry through his servant. Hosea the prophet was instructed by God that he should marry a prostitute and that was his "the one". Many noble women existed but God directed and the prophet obeyed.
We have a will so that we can align it to God's will, for His will alone to prevail. Choosing something God hasn't approved of as being His first and perfect choice for you always has consequences. Pray, God directs. God bless you.
That was SOOOOOOOO satisfying Jeff. Conviction just slapped me in the face. I have been struggle with finding "the one" for so long and this video is EXACTLY my answered prayer. I needed someone who has been throught the struggle and can share from a Godly perspective AND has a beautiful marriage to share it. Thank you thank you so much. I honestly have found so much peace with this video. I never thought something on the internet could provide because it all seems the same, but I prayed to hear someone who has been through the storm and understands the importance of this question, especially from God's perspective. Thank you Jeff! You were my answered prayer. I'm glad God created you! God bless you
I hardly ever comment on things but I struggled with this question myself for so many years and it is an important topic for those of us who are called to be married and not to remain single. It takes a lot of prayer and fasting and wisdom to see clearly and hear from God on a big decision like this because ultimately we do have free will and we can make decisions that are not in accordance with His will in our lives. I feel its necessary to preface this a little as I had pessimistic views about there being "the one" because I grew up in a divorced home, my mother had too many marraiges. You get the point. So if there was any biasm it would be in favor of this post. Also I want to say I just adore this family. I think Jefferson is clearly annointed to speak Gods word with eloquence and truth and his wife is right by his side encouraging us all in the spotlight and thats a hard place to be as a family. I admire so much that they are both working for the kingdom. But I have to say I disagree with this statement wholeheartedly. So fastforward... I lived a life of sin my teenage years and young adult life until Christ called me to follow him 8 years ago and I decided to follow Him with my whole heart and repent from my sins and ask for forgiveness. I was being santified and dating asking these questions for years hoping and praying I would find an answer as I longed for my husband and God put that desire in my heart. I knew I was meant to break the chains of divorce with my family and this was really important to me. I remember dating as a christian and watching this video trying desperately to find answers in God's word and through sermons. Yes I think there are unrealistic views in our society about what a marraige looks like and thats a whole other conversation. But after marrying my husband I had this clarity that my husband is my gift planned long before I was put on this earth. Remember God called you by name and KNEW YOU before you were knit in your mother's womb (Jeramiah 1:5). Think back to Adam and Eve in Genesis. God made Adam and called it good but realized Adam needed a helper so he created Eve out of Adam's very own rib. Why would God choose to make her out of his rib? Why not make her out of the dust too? She was designed specifically for him to be as one flesh to protect her under His arm, to be close to his heart. Why not put several women and men together during creation and let them choose? No, God created him with Eve in mind alone. You see, even from the very beginning of creation God has a plan for us, and like everything else, we have to wait until it is in God's timing and in God's will not our own.Trying to remain patient and resistant to temptation is the key to hearing from God while youre in prayer about these things. 100% my husband is my second greatest gift from the Lord (Jesus Christ is #1!) He balances me and sharpens me in ways I didnt think I needed. I can say for a fact its not about just choosing someone with good qualities who is equally yolked and thats it. You obviously look at their fruit of the spirit through dating and learn everything you can about them. But God will give you the peace when the one is placed in front of you. That's the problem with our society nowdays. Rather than looking at the things we have as a gift from the creator/ our father, we lesson them as if He isnt able or doesnt care enough to have amazing wonderful things PLANNED just for us to glorify his Kingdom.
Jefferson and Bethany- Keep up the good work!!
But there is the one :) God has someone truly special for everyone. Why do u think all those other relationships never worked for all those people because he's saying "I have someone better for you." All you have to do is follow him and trust in him and eventually you will cross paths with the one. That's what I believe! I'm
+Raquel Guevara Right you are... God bless :)
Raquel Guevara yh but what if you thought u found the one however the relationship doesn't work. Does that mean there is no one else for you, considering he or she was the one?
misssugacoco well if it didn't work out then he/she wasn't the one. Once you find your soul mate through Christ it will always work out because that is who you are meant to be with. That is who he created just for you. :)
Raquel Guevara Marriage is work. The one doesn't mean you won't have horrible fights or won't sometimes hurt each other. You have to choose to stay & work through it so if you leave then you weren't the one for them because you weren't in the relationship for the right reasons.
Life.Love.Forgive Well yeah I never said Marriage isn't work. I know my fiancé is the one but that doesn't mean he's not annoying and gets on my nerves. Sometimes I want my space but I don't want to leave him. We fight for the dumbest things and I get so worked up but it doesn't mean he's not the one. I'm just saying when you find THe One through Christ he's gonna be perfect for you and he's gonna complete you in the things u lack and vise versa. When you have Jesus guiding you, your relationship will always workout. Now it doesn't mean he won't drive u nuts and not pick his socks off the floor. Just my opinion ☝🏼😌
I believe there is the ONE. Because as we look at history and as we look at the word, we see God choosing people as the one. And as so, there's many different aspects towards being the one. Through a relationship aspect, a deliverance aspect, a working aspect. God chose Mary to be the ONE to birth Jesus. It wasn't a game of there's a girl here, a girl here and a girl way over here, so I think I'll choose this one. Mary was chosen by God before the earth was even mastered and crafted by the All Mighty. God chose Noah to be the ONE to build the ark. The all righteous man, he was the ONE chosen. So in that alike, relationships consist of the one. The problem with society that leads us towards believing the one does not exist is a lack of patience. The world is consistently seeking to find love in a blink of an eye and expect the first person they find to be sent from God. But no. It took TIME for the perfect timing of Mary to be chosen to birth Jesus. It took TIME for God to choose No ah to build the ark. So it will take TIME to find the one. And the reason most of us never find the one is because we don't have the courage to be patient. We don't have the self will to feel lonely. We feel as if we need someone to complete us every moment of everyday. When in reality, Jesus is with us 24/7. He is there to guide us when we feel alone, when we feel everyone has love but us. He is there. That is why most marriages in today's society end in divorce, or arguments. God is a loving God, who gifts us the BEST. God is a God with perfect timing. It is US, who create wrong timing. Because our patience and lack of faith. But in the same breath, I think there is a reason for most of us to not have the patience to find the one. Because if we all had the patience, many great leaders, friends, and legends would have never been born. For we may not meet the one because God needs a birth of someone important to his plan, through those two people who are not soulmates. So you never may meet the one, its a rare thing that God gifts to those willing to wait. And gifts to those who are MEANT to find their "one." We 're not all meant to. But the people who do come into our lives, come for a reason, that will always be true.
theradchik I agree.
This is deep. I agree on some of his points but more on your points. The ONE is somewhere out there but we have to be patient and have God build us into being The One. I loved your comment
Dirt bike's
+Olivia Rose Yes that is true. But, didn't God himself prepare himself to be the one for us? By sending his son, Jesus Christ the only perfect person who set an example for us. And also all the people God chose, wasn't out of the blue they had prepared themselves for it. They all loved and followed God like John the Baptist who was chosen to baptize Jesus. So I would say use both of the ideas.
+Olivia Rose I can't agree with this..I don't think your examples of Mary and Noah are really relevant to prove your argument. Yeah they were THE ONEs that God chose to do the job, but relationship wise I don't think there is specifically one ONE. What happens if THE ONE dies? It doesn't make sense then. That is like saying God only made one ONE for you and then if he/she dies He is like "Welp too bad you missed out!!!" I think there are many ONEs out there for everybody. Yes I agree it takes patience to find the right person, but they aren't THE only ONE.
i am really happy that i found jefferson bethke in youtube, you are really changing my life
This video is a God-send. I have been struggling in a relationship for a little while now and I've been praying for God to send me a sign. Just when I thought he wasn't going to, this video pops up on my home page and this made me realize that the reason I have been struggling all this time is because I have been looking to my spouse to be something that he's not. All I needed to do all along is thank God for giving him to me in the first place. Thank you sooooo much Jefferson!
I must say I disagree. You dismiss the idea of "the one" person on the basis of us making mistakes. However, don't you think that God knows us and our future choices and don't you think He can lead us into the right choice if we are seeking His will? Many people say: God helped me find a house... or, God showed me which person to talk to... Don't you think that He is even more interested in choosing our marriage partner for us? I believe that God is a matchmaker and has that person He wants us to marry prepared for us. He knows us so well:) Be blessed!
I would have to disagree with you because there are multiple people God could lead you to. He gives free will but he also is sovereign so it’s complicated -
I think there's a difference in the "Disney prince" version of the one and the one who Christ can set apart for you. I think there is a "one" that is called to a similar ministry as you and can compliment you as an ambassador for Christ. Not the "one" that meets all OUR desires for us (smile, personality, humor, body type). Christ has HIS desire for us. Isaac's wife is an example for this. Yes she was chosen because she gave Abraham's servant water at the well (pretty random for us) but God knew that she would be the woman who would serve at the well. (Genesis 24) I think his example of the apostles drawing straws was a little out of context, meaning blindly grab a Christian woman/man and go with it is effective. If you're praying for Christ to unveil if this person is the right person, he won't hide that from you. (Matthew 7:9) at the same time he probably won't appear in a burning bush to tell you. He will show you if this person is a person that would serve Him (Christ) well along side with you. 3:39 - 4:25 concerns me because this doesn't set a part anyone in the Church. An introvert with a heart for spreading the Gospel to the nations could end up with an extrovert who feels he's called to minister in his 9-5 job he goes to every day, and be active in the community. Are both of those noble missions? Of course! Can the introvert with a heart for reaching nations still give and financial support others? Yes! Meaning it's not impossible, but there is someone out there that has a similar calling-heart for a mission that can and will compliment you in that. There are plenty of women in the movement that I am a part of, but that doesn't mean they are all on the same playing field. However they are still amazing women in Christ and have a burning passion for Him. So if someone is identified in Christ, then by God's grace yes any two people merged as one can live a happy life 'technically'. However I would label this as "there is not a 'wrong' choice but there is a 'better' choice." Bethke says "that puts so much pressure on you" but if you are actively running the race for Christ, he will be a guide for you. Too many Christians are busy looking side to side for a running buddy instead of focusing on the One who loved them first. As you're running the race for Christ, you will eventually find yourself running along side someone with the same mission course as you. Those are the people you should consider. Not anyone and everyone in the race
Yeah I agree with you, I would much rather like to believe that God does have "one" special person picked out for each of us, that compliments us specifically and would make for a better life with us than anyone else would. If there isn't "the one", that feels like too much pressue cause then it feels like it's up to me to choose who I think will be better and that'd be hard for each of us to know, as humans. I feel like the situation in which tis would be complicated is if you're in a long-term relationship that's good but it just doesn't quite feel "amazing" and you're not sure if this person is "the one" or not and you're wondering if there could be a better fit out there for you. It's like do you give up this relationship just to look for a potential better fit? I think that may be why people as the question--like how is this supposed to "feel" or what is knowing someone is "the one" like? I feel like it should be this amazing, so in love feeling and you feel like that person totally compliments you. Not that it would feel that way all the time, but it seems like it should feel that way more than it has with any other person. And I'd think if it doesn't feel "amazing" that it's probably not the one for you. It seems that "the one" also happens when two people finally mutually want each other...usually one person is not into the other person as much and it just doesnt go anywhere. This has been a question I've been wondering a lot lately. But yeah I would think you need similar interests, and personalities that click, and especially a similar sense of humor.
I'm not sure why but you didn't depress me, you uplifted me, thank you, I'm going through some stuff right now not knowing if I should be with my girl or not, something keeps bring me down , but when I truly think about it she's all I want do stand by Jesus with, thank you Jefferson if you ever see this , THANK YOU
Man, this is good stuff. I don't even post comments on RUclips anymore, but man.. this was such a blessing to me. God bless you man and thank you for sharing this!
This man's haircut looks way too fresh to be true
Praying that god sends the right one can is so important. Its call a huge mistake if its not the right one. For wemon, even dangerous. You will have to have experienced marriage or have your daughter get married to know this.
Wow, this was posted so lomg ago. I just went through a break up a few months ago with who i thought was "the one" and it tore me apart and still feel a bit down about it, but watching this video has really touched me and given me so much assurance and listening to you speaking about working on myself to BE the one felt like a huge weight off my back that has been holding me back a lot. Thank you so much! Really appreciate it. Keep it up! Much love.
Text doesn't help me describe how much your videos have helped and inspired me. Thank you so much dude. Thank God for you.
God has a perfect plan for everybody (Rom 12:2, Jer 29:11), but it is up to us to choose it. He has a plan for every day of our lives including birth, death and wedding (Psalms 139:16). We need to pray according to His will (1 John 5:14) for us to be able to enjoy our lives to the very best that God has for us. The mistake we make is trying to reason out spiritual mysteries with our limited logical mind. God's ways and abilities are way beyond what we can understand (Is 55:8-9). Do you mean God had a plan for my life, knowing when I would be born, where I would grow up, when I would marry BUT NOT WHOM I WOULD MARRY? He even has a plan for my kids before they are born, but does not have a plan for who their mother is??? God has one special person for everybody to marry, and that is the one person that fits perfectly into His perfect will for us. God has a plan for that one person that will help you fulfil whatever divine destiny he has for you. That one person does not have to be the perfect human being. It's like asking God which shirt to wear to work in the morning, and your reasoning and everybody else wants you to wear the blue shirt coz you look good and executive in it, but God asks you to wear the green shirt because God knows you will meet a prospective client that loves the color green and that will lead to the biggest deal of your life! So it is with your spouse, they do not have to be perfect in character, they just have to fit perfectly into God's plan for you! God told prophet Hosea to marry Gomer the prostitute (Hos 1:3) not coz she was the proverbs 31 woman, but coz the marriage of the two of them, along with their kids, had a divine purpose to serve God. When we start to see our marriages as just small pieces to serve a purpose in a huge divine kingdom of God, it even becomes easier for us to commit and live biblical marriages coz we know it is not about me and my gratification, but about God and his glory. It even becomes easier for us to forgive, and as a result, divorce is reduced. In Acts 1, the appostles FIRST PRAYED ACCORDING TO THE PERFECT WILL OF GOD saying "show which of these two You have chosen to take part in this ministry and apostleship" (Acts 1:24 - 25) before they cast their lots. If we say there is no such thing as "the one", we are basically saying there is no such thing as "the will of God". So how do we know somebody is "the one"? First learn to hear from God so that when He speaks to you, you are able to distinguish His voice from your own emotions and that of imposters (2 Cor 11:14). Does God want you to just pick any of 10 job offers that come your way, or is there a particular one He will tell you to take? Does God just want you to buy any of 5 available houses, or is there a particular one in a particular state, street, neighbourhood he wants for you? How much more your future spouse?????
Tonny Salira 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
I love this👏👏👏👏
Well said
I want this printed on a shirt
this is so beautiful. thank youu
Sorry but i do not agree. God is powerful enough to bring you and 'the one' together. God has the perfect 1 for everybody. Don't go and look around and pick just anyone.
If someone does infact marry the wrong person God will make it right, like making that marriage work, because the children that they would get are in no way not meant to be. God loves and uses everybody. He already knew everything about you before you were even born.
If you just choose anyone from your church group there is a very high probability that you get together with someone that God did not intend for you to have.
And like Jefferson Bethke said in one of his other video’s: Don’t settle for the first girl/guy you see because you might realise that you aren’t meant to be together. Wait for the one that God has got ready for you.
and not everyone in church is good or has good intentions, some are criminal posing as angel just to get married....my opinion
There is wisdom in what you say...I have not always made wise choices in life in terms of who I thought was "the one"...Isaiah 55:9
You’re focusing to much on the words he’s saying, focus on the message behind the words. Jeff is not saying that you should just pick ANYONE he’s saying that there is not JUST ONE person for you. He’s saying that there are probably several people that can work for you and that any one of those several will lead you down the right path and still get you to the end state of becoming more like God and Jesus. Let me put it this way. God has a plan for everyone, and he has an end state in mind of all of us correct? However, God still give us the ability to choose, and we can choose SEVERAL paths that will still get us to that end state that God has in mind. Jeff’s not saying “go ahead and just draw a name out of the church hat and it’ll work”. That’s not what he’s saying at all. He’s saying that there are probably several people that you can choose of your own will to be with in order to reach that overarching end state of becoming closer to God.
Gives*
I'm from Brazil, but I discovered this channel when this video was released. Today I remembered how hearing those words changed my idea about a future husband. When I looked around me in my church there was a person who had the characteristics I would want in a spouse. He was there for years, very close to me, I chose him and we have been happily married for 8 years and counting.
Wow, this has truly set me free! I"ve been struggeling with creating ""the perfect partner and the ideal partner"". It doesn't makes you happy at all. And what you are saying is to true, the worst thing about creating the one is that you miss good Godly people around you that can actually be a good partner for you and most important how you can be a good partner to him.
too much Disney LOL
Make the right choice and right decisions, and have faith in God in every decision you make.
So true... amazon.com/author/fbrathwaitejr Good reading
Can I just. Can I give you the biggest hug. Thus honestly has opened my eyes and made me realize the truth. I'm so glad my friend has shown me your videos. Thank you for the advice you give.
Just finished the video. Wow. My jaw is literally dropped. The most mind blowing relationship advice ive ever gotten in my life. I gotta share this. It doesnt help me in who to pick, however. But it shows how im not focusing on god when i should be.
There isn't "the one".
God doesn't do our logic. If He did, He wouldn't have just grabbed one rib from Adam; He would've grabbed multiple and had Adam pick. He has His perfect will and doesn't make mistakes. He has someone perfect and exact for each person so that together they can carry out His will and move His Kingdom forward. He is or He isn't. It's in His character. Therefore, there is such thing as "the one".
+Elissa Bodenhorn Exactly.
Is there the one ? Of course there is the one. Ask God for direction and He will send the reght person on your way. Why Do we see a lot of divorces within christians ? because they on't pray for the right one It is as simple as that they just do what this guy wrongly teaches on this video picking anyone from the community. If God is in charge of your life ask him for a wife or a husband and he will make a way for you. Trust the Lord.
Exactly, God is trying to find us, do not find God, you need to find faith not God and if you have faith, God can find you, faith to God of course.
Elissa Bodenhorn wrong he only picked one rib, out of it he made eve, it's all about the one God chooses, not us, that is the "one" according to Gods will.
I agree with the points he is making (mainly about how a partner cannot be as good as God), but I think there is a danger in also just overly compromising and 'settling' and then as one of you said, you end up divorced cause you regret your choice. I feel God can totally guide in this area if you allow yourself to listen to the Spirit and all other ways God can speak...Do people sometimes either not choose to initially be with 'the one' God has set apart as the best choice for them...or possibly marry 'the one' and then later divorce 'the one'? Sure...as he pointed out, we all fall short, if not in this area, then other aspects of life... Is that person who didn't end up with 'the one' doomed then for a life of singleness/divorce? Possibly not...I feel if a person remains faithful to God and God can see that person will be a greater blessing to Him and the rest of the body of Christ as a married person, God will find someone else for that person...
God is The One, all creative, all knowing, all powerful, and who might that be? Well The One, is You. The all creative, all knowing, and all powerful is everyone sharing that free will with you. "God is everywhere". He certainly is not some man above you, because then that's someone leading your life for you. Don't let that happen. It's your life.
Man! This video is awesome! It change my life! I have a aunt and that told me the same thing of you told in this video some months before I see this video! her speakins was like a a profecy to me, She did not know what I was going through but she told me exactly what I needed and this video was the confirmation! Great Hugs from Brazil!
I didn't know my husband was the one at first. But I did know there was something about him that made him special only to me. I'll never forget laying eyes on him for the first time though. He was so adorable. It was my third day on the job as a hotel front desk receptionist and he walked in with his head down and when he saw me, he just lit up with a great big smile on his face and it instantly melted my heart.
i think its more about who God says yes to, i mean on our own we cant excatly know wat we want, but if you have the spirit of God, he would help you decern.
this video actually made me feel better, and slightly made me want to try attending my church again (not to find someone, I already did..) but just to be a better me
***** there is no wrong or right.
***** they feel better about their self, stop, leave them to it
Rory Stockton I think you may have missed the point of the Bible if you think that's the reason they should go...
elaborate?
Buddy, you have no clue how much this video helped me. This is something I've been praying on for months, and you just cleared it up. I'm about to look at your other videos. Not looking for anything in general, but I'm sure you have something to see :)
"its not about finding the one....its just about treating that person with love grace forgiveness and mercy"
I believe in the 'One'
I won't give up on my Disney and Nicholas Sparks influenced fantasy. :)
I get your point thou, and think what you said was true. I feel that if your patient a 'coincidence' may occur, where you meet just a regular guy, but later on in life you guys meshed well together, not special at first, but later on you see him as your one. :)
i bealive in soulmates and the one
he looks kinda like a sims
lolol ohh mann he kinda does
nina Carolina This made me laugh so hard! There is truth to that XD
Lmao
He kinda looks like John Cena
This is so true, the way I would think of it is, "Before you date someone else, date yourself", meaning be the best person you can be and trust in God that he will bring you this person that is right for you at the right time, rather than constantly seeking that one person who will satisfy your high expectations.
Wow Jefferson!! that explanatory insight on this huge question was just so on point! all I am left to say is Jeff YOU BETTER GO 👌🙌🙌 !!! YESSS
how do you know if some one is the one? you pray about it. Just like every other decision you make let it be Gods will.
If something is "God's Will" all the prayer in the world will not change it.
You have a point dagoose109. But God is a good God. As for a mate, before you and your mate were went to be God knew that the two of you would be together. He knows even the little quirks of his/her personality that will make even the slightest difference. Yes, God's will is above all. But, prayer is your way of speaking with your father. Just because it's "God's will", doesn't mean that your prayer won't change or pursuade Him any less. He intends to give us the desires of our hearts. Not just His will.
luis robles
Yes, you pray. But with prayer also requires action. Like Jeff said in this video, It's not just about waiting around with standards too high for your future spouce to meet. What it's about it letting God shape and define what your relationship will be and the "standards" we make. Yes, standards are good for not settling and picking just any person. But, you also have to make sure they're not so high that all the pressure is on your spouce to keep up the relationship. Prayer helps in the decision making and you will know when it's the one. Just be patient.
I still think there is a the one...
Me too.
Jacob Butner I sort of do. im into all things royal and Pc William and Pcs Kate are a good example, there seems to be some `destiny ` involved how they met. If either of them had made slightly different choices gone to a different school, they would never have met.
RONNIE SAVILL "... made slightly different choices...", you could pretty much say that about anyone though. A lof of people you'll meet in life, you only meet because of the choices you make so you could pretty much say anyone you meet is the "one" because you only met them as a result of the choices you made.
classicstorm some of the problems in believing there is a specific "one" is that you have no way of knowing who that person is, there's no way to confirm if someone is or isn't the "one". Most people just end up finding a person they like and then decided that they must be the "one" which is basically the same thing Jefferson is saying in the video.
A big problem with assuming there's only one person out there though is that you get the idea that if you find this one person, everything will be perfect and you'll never have to work at the relationship and that just isn't true. It gives people an easy way out when hard times come because they can just say "well they must not be the one" and walk away. People change, and your "one" will change too but this isn't a bad thing. If two people are committed to each other they can help each other become better people than they were before and if both people are letting God lead them, the changes will be so much better than they would be otherwise.
Like ***** is saying, you're off better finding someone you like to be around and deciding that they will be the one for you forever, no matter what. Because love is more than just a feeling, it is a choice, in fact many choices. Just like God's love for us, it is not dependent on us fitting a certain mold.
I love the realism in what you have to say. It was revolutionary towards me.
Wow, that was really helpful! I do have my share of sin in my life. Things that I may not want people to know now, but aside from that I know my relationship with God is to the point where I am able to rejoice in His goodness and am able to see potential spouses. In fact, there's one right now that I'm interested in. It all goes with prayer. And my pastor at my college group specifically said to act like the husband God and she would want me to be. Which is difficult, but I've noticed change for sure. A friend suggested this video to me, and I'm glad he did! I don't have to worry about finding "the one" because with prayer, and a good relationship with God I know she'll be here soon. Thanks for this video!
What's the name of sound on background?
Hmmm... mixed thoughts about this guy's talk... He kinda swings from one end of things to the other and we do need to evaluate stuff that's presented to us on this matter. He has some valid points, but misses some as well. Here are some things to consider.
It is true that the Bible shouldn't be treated as a fortune cookie, but as a source of principles to live by in seeking God and living life. Thus, we can't assume the exact name of the person a particular person living now should marry will be in there because not everyone's names are even in the Bible and that's not what it's for. It's for guiding us into a LIVING relationship- not just a book study relationship. The book should be pointing us to that living relationship and we should be checking what we get w/ the principles we find in scripture. Thus, even though it may not say specifically "Do not marry _____ (person's name).", it DOES say not to be unequally yoked. Thus, if that person is not also walking with God, it's easy to figure out that at least for that time, the person is not God's will for us to be in a romantic relationship with- let alone marriage.
Even w/out believing that everyone must find "THE ONE", there are certain situations when God clearly directs someone to marry a particular person. I know people this has happened to in modern times and there were certain times in scripture where God's leading was clear in 2 people coming together- whether directly (like Isaac and Rebecca) or indirectly (God had a plan for Esther to be in the position she was in when she was there.) That doesn't mean it will be that clear for everyone, but it can be that clear for some. Thus, we don't have to take an always or never approach to the matter. Rather, we should be open to God's leading in whichever way it happens.
He does somewhat miss the point of finding "the one" though as if everyone expects that person to be perfect. There are clearly important deal makers and deal breakers in determining whether or not another person is suited to you. It doesn't necessarily mean that other person is specifically good or bad- just that God leads us to people who will be a good fit- and should hopefully challenge us forward in certain matters. Both wind up changing together, but marrying someone for the sake of trying to change that person is a recipe for destruction... or even marrying someone who isn't quite right for you in hopes that the person will just happen to change along the way. I think he kind of misses the point on this one.
"God actually says that marriage- the pre-emptive of which is dating..."
WHERE in scripture is dating mentioned as being an automatic pre-emptive for marriage? Sometimes that happens and sometimes it doesn't. That's an extremely ethnocentric assumption. Some people go straight from friendship to engagement and skip the dating process. Some people prefer to take the "courting" route when investigating whether or not someone is suited to them for marriage in order to make it clear from the start that there is a clear purpose for the relationship rather than just goofing around. Some people go the arranged marriage route. Yes, marriage is supposed to work on refining us towards holiness, but while dating CAN be a part of that process to get there, it should not be assumed to be a requirement. In fact, some of the western approaches to dating can be quite destructive for certain people in the patterns those approaches can set.
It is important to grow in Christ as a person to be a good potential spouse. I agree with that.
Just because you believe someone happens to be "the one" for you doesn't mean you automatically have your identity in that person. Some might, but that isn't always how it works- esp. if the couple is in a healthy relationship. Perhaps he's seen dysfunctional situations, but missed seeing healthy ones where God's guidance has been clear in bringing 2 specific people together? He CAN and DOES do that at times. It doesn't automatically mean the person idolizes the other. It just means the person recognizes God's direction re: who would be right for him/her to marry. Ironically, people can have that kind of idolatry of another person even if they don't have God or that person being "the one" as part of the equation.
Freedom to "just pick" sounds pretty vague. Sometimes there are 2 lovely people who could easily be attracted to each other, but aren't meant to be w/ each other for some reason or another. What seriously needs to be considered in the matter- aside from whether both are believers or not- is whether or not each person's calling can fit together in a way that would have them in the same location.
For example: I am clearly called to Japan. That's just the way it is. Thus, it doesn't matter how amazing some guy might seem, if he's not in a position to be coming to Japan long-term- whether that be due to a different calling or simply being unwilling to spend his life in Japan- then that person is NOT right for me and I am not going to "just pick" him because of these other things or just wanting to be married. It's better to be single longer than to get married to someone who's not right for you just for the sake of being married. The latter can really mess w/ people's hearts and minds- even if both are Christians who desperately want to serve God.
Also, it's important to consider whether you have a peace about the relationship or not. Sometimes people just aren't the best match for each other and God uses different means to warn them - IF they'll listen- and one of those means is a lack of peace about the situation. There have been a few relationships others have been in that I haven't had a peace about before they got married and 1 realized later on she'd made a mistake, but that she'd now have to rely on God's grace to make it work (which He CAN do), but it involved a LOT of struggle. There are others I didn't have a peace about that are now divorced. I know of at least one that was at a point of semi-questioning before her wedding, but felt she had to go through w/ it anyway, but am not sure about the others re: how they felt about things shortly before their marriages and if there were signs it wasn't wise.
It seems sad to not encourage people to seek God for His BEST. As people come along and get our attention, it is possible to simply ask if being w/ this person would be God's best for us or not and if He wishes us to go ahead w/ a relationship or whether we'd just be leading each other on. There is something to be said for building friendships w/out romantic obligations and going from there if/when someone comes along who'd be a good match.
There is a difference between this and "drawing straws". Need to consider what kind of prayer has gone into said drawing of straws.
Why does he assume that people waiting for someone who's right for them means they hold some unreasonable standard? That's ridiculous. Sometimes it's just a matter of going after God's leading and there being or not being someone going in the same direction. People need to stop acting as if our only purpose in life is to get married. Marriage is a good thing, but it doesn't need to be our sole goal in life. Sometimes it's a matter of determining if life would be better with or without the person living in the same home. There are LOTS of people I'm happy to hang out with, but have NO desire to ever live with.
One doesn't have to abandon the possibility that God could have specific direction w/ a specific person to ask Him about various people that come into one's life. It's not that everyone w/ such ideas walks around like zombies until they hit a brick wall on the matter. They do ASK God about people who come along. Of course, for some people there are more getting the person's attention to ask about than others.
This has been a real eye opener. Thank you! Your videos have really made me think about my Christian life and stand point.
Amen brother! Grace to all of you listening to this!
the one is already preplanned n ordained by God.Didnt God provided Adam his wife eve.When you walk in the Lord,The Lord is the one to lead you to the right mate.cos i believe there is one for somebody prepared by God for you.The Lords sees all its in your heart and bring it to pass.Yes we got our own choice to make but ultimately its the Lord who wills and blesses and also lead you to your heart desires that will satisfy your soul.
I so totally believe and agree. The Bible says that we are predestined and ordained by God. If God knew us before we were in our mothers womb, why can we rely on God to bring us to the one he has for us. I tell you why because we are afraid of the unknown, afraid that it might not be appealing to our eyes. But the Bible tell us that every perfect gift comes from God. He loves us and He will give us the best. Now when we try and choose ourselves, and you have your friend or mother saying no don't like him or don't like her it should trigger something in you to say hang on a minute perhaps he or she is not the one. I think the most times we end up in so much broken relationships because we don't wait for the one. I strongly believe that God has someone for everyone. like there is a key to every single door. my home key is not the same as your and vice versa. They were specially cutt out for you and me. There is a man and a women to every heart. Some discaissed themselves to be the one when they are not. they were simply a counterfeit. It look like and sounded like to be the one but something was missing.
i agree i think god made the one for everyone it just takes time and to find the right person u want to spend the rest of your life with!
Read these books and get a better understanding about yourself & love. amazon.com/author/fbrathwaitejr
I can’t believe this guy . So unscriptural . God has a plan for his kids lives . He gives good and perfect gifts . He will bring the person to you and you to them In His time his way . For his glory ! Please don’t just go out there and pick anybody. Lol .... The Bible says do not be unequally yoked. Pray and stay in the word . But seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you" Matthew 6:33 hallelujah! Glory to God !!!
Jefferson, I want to know if you created this video before or after you proposed to your wife. Also, I want to know, God neber told you that you were going to marry her? You just "picked" her?
Thank you so much Jeff for posting this video. I've had so many misconceptions about "the one" theory. Loved how you went back to Jesus' lineage. You've cleared up so much in such a short video it's amazing. You are making such a big difference in my life and other people. Just want to encourage you to unravel all God has for you. God bless you and Alyssa!
I really like how you said it's not about finding the one but about preparing to be the one!
i dont think any of this is right
im engaged right now and i never changed and neithier did my fiancee we got engaged becasue we excepted eachother for who we are we love eachother because of that and were exactly alike shes my mirror we have everything in comman and we smile and laugh when were together see eachother think of eachother were ment to be together shes the one for me and im the ne for her
sorry for puncwtian and spelling problems :) :D
Amen!!!!
"it's not about finding 'the one', it's about preparing yourself to be 'the one' ". wow jeff, well said
Wow bro I needed to hear this man I love all his work keep it up brother I never stopped following him since I heard his first spoken word it’s not about finding the one it’s about preparing yourself to be the one
I like many of your points but I disagree that there isn't "the one", because God knows who you are going to marry and so in effect when you marry someone they become "the one" and your literal soulmate at that time. saying that if someone way back in history married the wrong person and then messed up the whole line is just assuming that God would be suprised by it happening and not know how to work it into his plans. If you believe in His omniscience then believing "the one" exists is not that much of a stretch, i'm not saying it would be a fairy tale, real relationships are much more important than that and alot more hard work but I do believe in divine design. So I don't think you're entirely right but I also don't think you are entirely wrong, if you really feel like digging more into it, may I suggest Jeremiah 33:3
It's not even about being perfect for me at all. One there is no such thing. And two I would never impose standards to anyone that I myself couldn't fulfill. There is no such thing as "the one" but there is such a being that'll try as much as you, that'll have your back, be your friend, before your lover. All I want is s man that'll be my best friend and will walk side by side with me in this adventure called life! He won't detour because the road gets bumpy but we will embrace each other that much more. That's why it's important to establish TLC take your time if you see the person is worth it to you. Because if you make that person your best friend there is nothing you wouldn't do for them and you wouldn't leave them for anything in the world. Just like life is what you make it....love is also what you make it. God gave us willpower so exercise it! There is that one for you but if you allow it...just like when there is someone you can forever with ease and never lose that spark...that's how you'll know...It's not a one kind of person but the person you decide to let in and build upon and they'll apply the same effort be open to love
Good luck finding a man that will want to be your best fiend.
This was a great video man. I was in so much doubt. God, through you, has made things plain.
I like the last part about someone's mission being similar to yours to do what God has called you to do
I am upholding a standard of virginity. Is that too much to ask for? I am a virgin myself because I was in boyschool for 12 years and my parents(asian) are quite controlling, so basically, as a 17 years old virgin, of course it is fair to want a virgin girlfriend and I never want to date someone who will sleep around or have a big chance of cheating, is that a wrong prospect?
No! Not at all!
thumbs up for you.
No, it's not! I'm almost 21 years old, and I'm doing the same thing, and waiting until marriage.
Please, continue with this goal! If anyone discriminates you for it, they aren't worth your time.
I'm prayin' for you, man! Don't give up!
Noting wrong with it at all
Not wanting to have sex before marriage should be something both you and your partner agree on, but do not judge them for their past sexual relationships.
How do you know when someone is " The One" ? You know they are the one when you aren't embarrassed to fart around them.You know they are the one when they are honest about your bad breath. You know they are the one when they clean up your vomit after you get too drunk. You know they are the one when they don't mind that your ugly
This made my heart SO happy. I needed to hear this.
This was such a blessing, wow. Feels good to have someone who I can see eye-to-eye with on such a topic.
Much love, God bless.
How do you know someone is a complete hypocrite? If they are a human contradiction like Jefferson.
what makes you say this?
Jarl Sigurd Storvann
He says he hates religion but loves Jesus. That is like saying I hate Buddhism but love Buddha.
dagoose109 no its not. because he doesent say he hate christianity and loves Jesus.this right here ia very hard to understand for a none beliver who belives inn no God at all. there is diffrence between jesus Christ and religion. huge diffrence, religion in particilar is all about what they can do, when christianity is all about whats done and can continue to lead other peoples in it. you just have to want jesus Christ. no other religion has a God who sais that "i am the way the truth and life, no father comes into my fathers kingdom except through me " if we are gonna ask some simple questions. what makes christianity more true then another God like buddha, allah?
you name it. what makes Jesus more true then all of other Gods? let me ask another question that assumes it all being true. why doesent the Gods in other religion tell his people to follow him? why is all about what humans can do? hmm.. thats why religion is never gonna get to the seriuos core of truth because they so desprately try to finish something of thee own that is already finnished in christianity. that. is the diffrence between christianity and other religions. i hope this stirns up some thinking. answered some of your questions maybe. because if i can get you to question your belives. you might get to truth.. the moment we stop asking questions, we become ignorant and blind.
Jarl Sigurd Storvann
First of all I am not an Atheist but just someone who perceives God as an Equal Opportunity Reality for Everyone and Everything. No religion owns God----and that includes Christianity. Secondly, the Idolatry of Jesus is the foundation of the Christian Religion so Jefferson is completely self-contradictory. The moment we stop wondering and questioning the miracle of Life and Existence, we are religious.
dagoose109 no religion owns God? i wonder about that. surely somewhere out there with one religion above another. there gotta be some lies of what kind of God does exist. i sort of agree with that statement that religion doesent own God. but if we are gonna take examples of a none existing God, i would pretty much say religon owns that God. that is just simple logic. it couldn be the other way around with a none existing God. sooo.. if we are realy gonna get to the core of some answers. whatever you belive in. i think we both agree on that there is just one religion that is the pure truth over one another. you may agree you may not agree to this. but if evryone belive religion is truth.
the religion they grew up to belive is more true thenn anything else, we realy gotta ask some questions of what of this religions make it true? ask evry religion beliver this and see how very similar it is except to an christian beliver. there i all kind of life questions we could ask that religion itself trys there best to answer. and many of the religions has similar answers, but christianity answer them like no other religion. you dont know what jefferson has experienced in life, therefor you dont know what he belives, except.. through what he preaches and because you are raised up to belive something diffrent, you decided for yourself he contradicts himself.
Hello dear brother in Christ ! I've understood the main idea in this video. Those are good arguments. And if it's what you've been convinced by the Holy Spirit, that's good. But I'm dubious, I mean I'm even convinced by the opposite. And I just want to share my believe, you have the right not to consider it. (: As God said in His word "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up" 1 Thessalonians 5:11.
At the beginning of this world, God created Adam and Eve. Genesis 2:22 states «Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out from the man, and he brought her to the man.» God has taken a part of Adam to create Eve, He hasn't taken a part of an other man to create Adam's wife. She has been created for him. Further, the history of Isaac and Rebekah shows again the fact God has prepared someone, "the one", still we have the right to not marry that person. But I'm going to talk about that later. When the servant went to take a wife for Abraham's son Isaac, he asked God for a sign and said « May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’-let her be #the_one_you_have_chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.» Genesis 24:14
There are a lot of other examples in the Bible, showing us God has truly chosen someone for us, the one exists. As you said in your video, the main purpose of marriage is to make us more and more conform to Christ. Marriage is certainly one of the greatest thing on earth (that won't last forever) because the love of the husband for his bride is compared to the love of Christ for us. And I believe that's why there is so much about marriage in the Bible (even an entire book, the Songs of Salomon, teachings «Therefore, what God has joined together, let man no separate, etc.)
BUT, I go back to what I said "we have the right to not marry that person". Your first argument was the fact if one man, in the history, was wrong, there would have been upheavals and everything should have turned upside down. But when we get into the Scripture, we can see so much examples of people who haven't followed God's plan and accepted His will, instead they have followed the desires of their hearts, of their flesh, and they haven't received the answer to God's promises. That's the case of Saul. God had chosen him to be the King of Israel and his descendants should have ruled on the land. But He turned away from God and His commands, and then God chosed David. You see, God always has a second plan, He is a redeemer, a healer, HE IS GOD, He can fix everything, everything. If someone choses the "wrong" person and marry her, God will let him, God doesn't force anybody. If it's against his will, they will struggle a lot certainly. And if it's not against His will (as Jesus said "He who is not with me is against me" Matthew 12:30), because God may agree, if it's not a non-believer, He will let you do it and even BLESS you anyway. And because of that, other people will also marry the "wrong" person, or many won't simply mary someone, sad consequences, but that doesn't mean God will punish you if you marry the "wrong" person (I will come back to this after).
I can give an other examples. God can tell you He would like you to preach in Asia, but it's really not your plan, your plan is to preach in Africa. It's still preaching. If after many calls you don't agree, God will not stop you if you don't want to follow His plan. Because what you are going to do is not against His will. That's why the Bible states «In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay» 2 Timothy 2:20. Many of us, christians, do not live what God has prepared for us at the beginning. We were at times as articles of wood and clay. But again, God is a redeemer, He can transform you in an article of gold or silver, and He can do the same for you marriage, bless you in your marriage, and He will, He will allow you marriage to bear the fruits of the Holy Spirit and bless others through it, even if that person isn't "the one" He has chosen at the bery beginning. Even if you chose the "wrong" one, and if it's not against God's will, He will bless you anyway. And because God can fix everything, God "changes" His plans, it will finally be as if this person has always been destined for you.
On an other side, we can also see the examples of men and women of God who have done mistakes in their lives, and they haven't received what God has promised (like the King Saul) and have undergone condamnation. But after repentance, God restaured them, and of course their lives will never be the same as what they would have lived if they hadn't desobey God (Galatians 6:7 states « A man reaps what he sows»), but they will be blessed anyway. God can use your mistakes and transform them. Again, GOD IS GOD, He is ABLE to fix anything! When you read the history of Batcheba and David, do you truly believe that was God's will? Do you truly believe God wanted David to take the wife of someone else and even kill him? No, that wasn't God's will. And David repented, he really really regretted (Psalms 51). And God punished him, their first baby died a few after his birth. However, and because He repented, God blessed him even if He didn't follow His will : Salomon was born of his relation with Batcheba. This son, the son of David and this woman that he had "stolen", became the King Salomon. And then, we can say and secure that the birth of Salomon was God's will. That shows again that God is a redeemer, and even if you do not choose "the one", He is able to bless you in your marriage and do amazing and great things through it, as if you have never done the "wrong" choice. (Because this choice, since God is a redeemer, becomes a "good" choice, even if it isn't the "BEST" choice you could have done.)
Many men and women haven't met "this one", many of us have spent our adolescence running after pleasures and living in debauchery, and many of us have missed this one person. That was not what God wanted for us at the very beginning, but again He can use our errors of youth to be testimony for others, and above all He can fix our mistakes and give us a very wonderful husband or wife, with whom we will be able to live a life centered on Jesus Christ and abundant in fruits of the Holy Spirit, and with whom we will live as if it was the one ! :') God is a redeemer. And God has made plans for us. «All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be» Psalms 139:16. But we have the right to do what we want and make our own choices. :') That's why God is love.
Jesus was a muslim
TheDawahKid Diarys follow Jesus then
Mario Pascal I do more than any christin does..Jesus said worship one God, Muslims pray like Jesus prayed, fast like Jesus fasted, eat blessed food, like Jesus did, grow the beard like Jesus did, get circumcised like Jesus did, use the miswaak like Jesus did, trim the moustache like jesus did, women cover there hair like mary did...and the list goes on and on and on....peace
Thats great ,I pray that you accept His teachings and come to know Him and His bride,the power of His sacrifice and Sonship For knowing Jesus is about not so much what we do because we know Him but the power God gives to those who believe on Him and walk with Him to be transformed by the holyspirit which opens the eyes to truth,changes our hearts and speaks to us leading us in the way of Gods personal direction .so that we will bear fruit not of obligation but by our new nature in Him just as trees do naturally. May Christs heart be in you above all bro. peace
Mario Pascal My friend Jesus wasn't killed, his real name is Isa, there is no letter J in the aramaic language. We humans are all judged by what we do, not by what others do. Jesus was a mighty messenger of God, he came to preach monothiesm i.e continue the message of moses pbuh. I have met some lovely Christain people as i studied theology in university. It is very hard to convince people that jesus aint god, because there emotions are so high and i understand that you probably love him, but i can assure you muslims love him more, because they abide by what he taught i.e that God is one. Check out some lectures of brother ahmed deedat, may Allah guide you to islam ameen...Jesus called God Allah too, did you know that? :) ....peace,love and unity brother - TheDawahKid
When you think of your life without that person and an immense wave of sadness surrounds you. It’s a sadness beyond words and beyond a “crush” they are as much a part of you and your soul as you are.
I really enjoy you're work man. you've pushed me to question myself and my relationship with Jesus while encouraging me in the same two or three minutes... god bless!!
I have been in love with this guy for 5 years, and i knew instantly that it wasnt just a crush. I know that i want us to be together forever! I didnt think about the way he looked, he wasnt strong or muscular. But i love him despite that! Cause his heart is good, and he have good intentions! We're both Christian. I never thought that i had to make him love me, well atleast let him see parts of me that nobody else sees. But i guess now i know we can end up together if i only make myself loveable! I love you for making this :)
Being transparent is what it is. Love and Grace is what it is. ❤️ Love this video.
Seriously needed to watch this... so glad I just happened to stumble on this!!
So good! Just started watching your stuff. Thanks Jeff. The Acts straws story is so crazy! I never thought about that I regards to relationships!
well. i think you're the one for me!!
thanks so much this really changed my mindset on things. My mom tells me to wait "for the one"all the time, and that I'll know who it is when I meet him.. but what you said gives me so much relief. Life will be easier if I keep thinking this way. All I need to do is continue to surround myself with a godly community and God will do the rest!
wow... I've never heard it put like that before. You are a genius Jefferson Bethke! just wow :') thank you so much!
ACE! I don't know how to exactly comment on this.... But I certainly salute the choice of your words. I wish everyone understands that valuable message. You're awesome.
Wow there is so much truth and wisdom in this video 🙏🏼
Except I don’t believe you can just pick anyone, they have to be a Godly woman or man to help you glorify God better than you would being single