Then again I haven’t even been in a relationship. Because I’m afraid of being rejected. Or for my relationship to turn into something like my brother’s.
@All gamer nice 👍plus you must feel something that with other you don’t feel, you must have some feeling. If you don’t have it, is just a person that you stay with because you are not strong enough to be alone
Even you think about this person they make you feel so weird you feel happy but at the same time your eyes are starting to tears up when you think about them it makes you so emotional
I felt that :') Part of my brain acknowledges this as a sign that I need to learn to appreciate the beauty in myself and the world around me, but it's definitely hard some days 😅😅 Wishing you the best!
Life was harder without my partner, and I remember how lonely and sad I was before him. But I did find connection with friends and family, and spent quality time with them when I felt alone. And when I couldn't have time with them, I hated being by myself due to self hatred. But I had to learn to mend my self esteem a bit before getting into a romantic relationship. I found the beauty in being single and putting myself first. Of course, I wasn't perfect, it took time and practice to balance my needs with others. But without that development, I wouldn't have been so open to a romantic relationship. I needed to have self compassion first to have compassion for someone else. It's easy for me to forgive others when it's not best, or fawning for people due to childhood trauma. Being there for myself and seeing myself as a worthy person and finding happiness without romance was a must for me, and maybe it would be helpful for you too. If you find the joy in being yourself and working on yourself, you may find romance in an unexpected time or way. Love is found when you least expect it! Find connections with friend and family, don't sell them or yourself short. Life is special and so are you! A special someone will see that that the time is right. Don't give up on love, but most importantly don't give up on yourself. You are worth getting to know and worth healing. Best of luck, friend 🫂
that's incorrect. life feels empty because you dont have a purpose. there are many ways to acquire a purpose in life. you can be in love with producing movies. you can be in love with building a business. you can be in love with being the president or you can be in love with starting a family. My point is the only reason you THINK that's the reason your life is empty is because that's what everyone else been conditioning you to believe since birth. but you better make SURE that's what you REALLY want because if not, you're gonna spend your whole life chasing after the wrong thing and end up divorced and miserable like 50% of all marriages in the united states.
My oldest sister had this to say when it came to conflicts in relationships. "Its not you vs. me. It's you and me vs. the problem." That's always been my guiding principle when trying to navigate an argument.
Finding love is the best thing. It’s sad how many people think infatuation, lust, attraction and love are all the same. Love starts off in the little things. Like checking on someone’s well-being. The deep conversation and the effort someone puts into you, doesn’t mean they kiss you everyday and cuddle. It means they’re there for more than that, and yes, that means doing stuff for the person that isn’t shown to the world. It may even be as simple as asking how you are, instead of just talking. And yes it is the best thing that can happen. But remember too love doesn’t always have to be romantic to be true. You can have a friend or family member sacrifice him or herself to you and it’s not because they are IN love with you, it’s just because they love you. Love will always last long.
@@cleverclovercreates3249 I never said love was only romance tho- no need to type that long paragraph, I just mentioned it is the best thing that can happen to a person
@@Shake_Well_Before_Use love is like how you like a friend or family. Being in love means like you’re in love with someone romantically. You don’t love family romantically but you still love them
You make a good point. Today I imagined wearing a mirror as a headband (kind of like Naruto lol). Kind of like a spiritual sign or statement. For me my most natural reaction is to mirror people in their attitude. In the event they are good, something good will happen. In case of something negative, not letting myself be sucked into what they are sucked into makes me a mirror but not an equal.
It takes a lot of courage to stay true to one self even in the face of trauma, rejection and negative judgment. I’ve found myself in a series of relationships where I Was belittled for Who I am, for my expansive way to love and my view on the world around me, I had to elaborate a lot of this trauma before being able to be myself, and if I hadn’t Made that step I wouldn’t have found a soulmate Who loves me for Who I am. It hurts, but I suggest you try to be stronger for your own good, the one for you is out there, but how can he/she find you if you are not yourself ?
Timestamps 1). That love to give, but to who 0:47 2). Beware of these red flags 2:19 3). The green flag that may lead to love 4:51 4). Making your love last 6:34 Hope this helps you out. Hope this helps you out. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
After so long of occasionally watching these videos, and having crushes come and go by, I finally did it. I finally found someone, confessed and she liked me back. She's helped me quit so many bad habits and addictions of mine and so far everything has just gone so perfectly. Thank you for these videos 👍 Update: Been together 5 months now, yesterday (21st May) marked exactly 5 months 👍 Update 2: Nearly 7 months soon. She has, in the last month or so, helped me get out of my suicidal thoughts. I have gone nearly a whole month without harming myself because of her :D Update 3: Literally 9 months tomorrow lets fucking goo Update 4: Why are so many people liking this lmfao Anyway, 9 months and she herself is beginning to improve, yay Update 5: Had our 1 year anniversary on the 21st January and we're both happy 💖 Update 6: I forgot about this comment for ages but we're still going, 1 year and 9 months now. Life has been up and down since the last time I updated this but we're still together and happy as ever :3
Congrats friend, you're one of the few that actually got to be with someone. It's a rare thing to happen in this world that doesn't happen to many people anymore. Never take it for granted.
As the night falls, reflect on your day. Let the images flip, like a photo album in your mind. Think about what brought you the most satisfaction. Pause awhile on the images you find most beautiful. Linger a little longer on the moments that brought you joy before you close your eyes and fall asleep. Tomorrow you'll wake up and tend to your habits, one step at a time. You'll add new images to the story of your life, and that thread of meaning will continue to emerge.
Thinking of good things that happened during the day will make your brain produce more "happy hormones" during the night. 😊 Actually that's a habit one often gets recommend by professionals to ease depression.
I've witnessed first hand the enormous impact your romantic partner can have on your well being and life quality. These are really good points. Pay attention to how the other person makes you feel, as well as how they treat others around them.
My Husband is amazing!! I've had a brain tumor that led to brain damage where what I think and say don't match and I need help from him after completely being exhausted while doing my absolute best to function and he was treated badly gro wing up and has a major lifelong trauma from what his Mother did to him and has to be extra extra strong to even be able to help me a little. We've been married 33 years. That is truly what I would absolutely say is true love. ❤
Congratulations on 33 years of marriage! Do you have any tips that you can share with us for those of us who may be relatively new in the dating world?
@@Psych2go The only thing I'd say is keep in trying come what may and always assume your spouse is doing their best. (Unless it's an abusive type situation, of course).
Trust, loyalty, caring, communication, willingness to work things out, never giving up, supporting each other being a team being reliable honest and forgiving and understanding.
I thought I did twice, but now I'm choosing to be alone insted of chasing "my better half," now im happier then ever. Whether short term or long term I've always been misrable in relationships.
The LMFT part at the end is exactly what will save the world. If everyone learns something from this and shares it, then applies it in their lives everyone will be happy and divorces will no longer be an issue because the couples will learn how to work with each other to understand why they're feeling what they're feeling and build something greater than what they thought they had.
A girlfriend that understands and accepts the sides I don't show anyone and I can feel comfortable being myself with. And I get that with her no matter how nervous I seem. I may not always get the words out and I know there's more to it than a case of the warm fuzzies as we call it but I'm sure of is I'm happy around her. All that's left is finding a similar interest. I've already told her how I feel and she felt it first.
and the best part is, such a girlfriend doesnt even exist. Women do not understand and accept the flaws of men, women only understand 100% perfect men, in each and every single scenario possibly imaginable. The sides you you dont show anyone, but show to her, can and will used against you. Be warned, stay single.
I’m very pleased to say that my girlfriend, Ivory, whom I’ve been with for nearly 4 years, fulfills every green flag. She treats me like a king, bolsters my strengths, counters my weaknesses, and makes me feel like I can do anything. She is my soulmate and I love her more than life itself.
Best of wishes to you and your beautiful relationship. Hope it always stays that way. Please don't pay attention to the negative comments that will be swarming in soon
Be positive, dream about him, ask God or the universe, be a good person who is kind to the world and He will come. It happened to me after decades of grief, frustration, divorces, intense pain and loneliness. She is beyond my dreams, and I will propose to her in August even though she already refers to herself as my fiancee. 🙏🙏🙏💞
@@crazymadstriker766 Like anything else, if you want to be a star athlete, figure out how to prepare yourself to win. Want to be a great doctor? Find the good school and best environment to practice. Want a wonderful love in your life? Make yourself worthy, trusting, loyal, respectful and send love out as a good person everywhere...Your lover will come.
Thank you for your perspective. Relationship is a two-way street. Both people are responsible for putting time work to keep their relationship healthy! Do you think it's easy or hard to find someone like that?
@@Psych2go It can be tough, but it seems like it's worth the while. I would not know myself however since I don't have any experience in a relationship yet. :/
Timestamps: 0:47 "That love to give, but to who?" 2:18 "Beware of these red flags!" 4:51 "The green flag that may lead to love!" 6:34 "Making your love last."
True love will come eventually. When you least expect it. It may not be tomorrow, it may not be for another few years. It may not be when you need it or desire it the most, but as long as you try, it will come. I havent had a relationship outside of long distances. I've never had friends or a boyfriend to hang around with. But I know one day it will come. And you dont need that to be happy. Happiness isnt a state to aspire to. Happiness is an act. What makes you happy? Do something happy today :). Allow happiness to come into your life. Even when youre depressed; make a ramen bowl, cry it out, watch something positive. It all makes the difference. To all reading this, youre not alone. Im struggling too. But thats okay, because we can always get better❤
What I need from a partner: Fidelity, not cheating or lying, and being actively supportive instead of a continual active hinderance. When you purposely sabotage every effort your partner makes, you lose any "moral right" to be offended at the results you created.
I think it should've been "love isn't JUST about romance" because love includes romance. What is romance? Expressing love, affection, dedication and fancy towards your partner through actions, words, expressions etc. Bringing flowers to your partner is romance for example.
@@aishi_rei off course romance isn't enough for love to sustain. But i replied to your comment saying romance isn't a part of love, which you're wrong about. It is a part of love and is important. What are you trying to say and what do you want to prove? Or you're just trying to sound different and quirky..
The love I seek is someone who enjoys spending time together and someone to whom i can dedicate myself to and do things better.... someone who'd love to go on small walks together and stays together through good and tough times.... Someone who'd bring me up when I go down and someone I can be there for in their tough times.... Someone like Rem...
I think the most important thing is feeling that you're working together, like completing a dance! Each of us take turns and we make beautiful memories together
These videos really help a lot. I've yet to be in a relationship. I got really close. The feelings were felt on both sides, but due to complications, it couldn't go any further than a friendship. I will say, though, that I've struggled with the self-love the most. These videos have really helped me deal with my insecurities. Y'all are lifesavers. I love you guys ❤ (in a purely platonic way) Maybe someday (hopefully sooner than later) I'll find the one. That one special person for me. Only time will tell ⏳
Here is a way to help one realize how they should treat themselves to love themselves Think of someone you care about someone you truly loved it doesn't have to be romantic love just any form of love A best friend a family member put them in your head and think about them Now when you're about to say something horrible to yourself think about that person would you say that to them if the answer is no then don't do it to yourself
I had it. Once upon a time. I was together with them for almost ten years. I havent been able to make a connection like that again, and I have long since accepted such a thing may be lost to me forever. And im stuck with this hole in my chest that wont heal. If you love someone, tell them. Dont waste your moments, especially with someone that might be your soul mate. Cherish them. Love them as best as you can.
Love is like god today, if you believe in it you eventually find someone but if you don't, well you stay alone, it's about the willingness to be loved is what attracts love
Honestly, I just want someone that firstly doesn’t treat me like garbage… other than that, happy to be with me, likes hugs, doesn’t lie, and happy being with me and I’m happy being with them. And as mentioned in the video, having someone that is receptive to not only bad news, but good news. I also think it’d be funny walking into a room just saying, good news everyone, like the old guy from futurama, and on that note, find each other’s humour funny
I'm looking for someone who just cares... at all... My 33 years has been filled with people pretending to like me, and people who only like me by default (family). I help people move, I lend money, I show up for invites, I stay healthy, I work legitimate jobs, I learn for the sake of itself, and yet it seems my entire life nobody has wanted anything to do with me. I just want to feel unconditional love and give it in return just once in my life.
I've found love at last and we've been together for one year now. Sadly I had to move due academic purposes as the career I chose is not in my city...Still, we discussed this and agreed on fighting for it. It's been 4 months since the last time we've seen each other but we trust that this is going to work. I'm coming back in a month to visit her for winter break and later on for summer holidays. It's hard but I have a good feeling about this.
My grandparents has gotten married trough and arrange marriage and now they're still married 50 years later going on trips together going on dates and going to excerise together. They do everything together to bond and keep they're love true.
Don't throw your love to people who don't deserve it. Find true companionship and team work, a person with values and integrity not just empty shells (unless that's what you like, but you won't find any true love there). They must want the samethings in life as you, otherwise it's going to fail, and life path can change at any time
i swear to goodness, this person's voice has sounded like 3 ways: young, relaxing, and chill. this voice of yours is the 3rd one i've heard. keep up the good work, you help others with mental health and other.
I'm so lonely and been for 31 years. But i feel like God prepared me for this moment. All that i have asked for came in the right time. The healing of my broken past. The anger, the hurting. All seem ive forgiven and forget because God made me forget. Amazingly enough, i have very different outlook when it comes to companionship. Im sorry but when i was angry, i look at women only in a sexual way. And everything imperfect like me, i've hated it. Now i dont really care anymore. All i want is a lasting love and a woman who will be my goal. I can't get myself to work since i dont have any aspirations in life. I dont care anymore if she's not pretty. I'd be happy enough to cook and eat breakfast with someone whom i love and loves me back. To my future wife, i will take care of you and will make you happy for the rest of our days
I can definitely relate to this. Though, in my case it mainly the fact that I'm technically on the aro spectrum and I really don't feel like it would be fair to the other party not being able to share the same feelings as them.
I have stayed single in my entire life and in the last few months I learned how to deal with my loneliness. I don`t even wanna have a partner at some point. People around me tell me "I`m late", but I don`t care :)
It's great that learned how to deal with your loneliness and that you feel independent enough not to want a partner! How did you learn to thrive in your solitude?
At 32, I'm doing the reverse way. Until my 25 yo, I didn't care about love relationship. After, I was like "oh maybe someday". And since I'm 30 yo, I'd really want one, but I have NO idea about how to date. I can't ask tips to my friends, because I don't have any for 7 years (since I finished my studies), and fidn't have close ones since I left primary school. 😅 Not a problem : I prefer being by myself than dealing with people. I just have rnough place in ly heart for 1 close relationship, and this one is reserved for love (not ftiendship).
@@grenade8572 There are bunch of ,,redpill" videos about how to get a partner you can use if you want a partner. But I don`t use their tips because I don`t find as good example about how men should act with women.
@@Psych2go Easy! I just said multiple time to myself that I don`t give a f*ck. I`m trying to find everything that can make me happy in life rather than relationships, dating and s*x. Life is too short to be obssesed with only one thing. There are bunch of other things that can make you happy.
i was in a long distance relationship that made me feel that it was very co-dependent ultimately making me unhappy so I decided to break up with her. After a while i improved in school and my hobbies again but so did she. She was very depressed but she moved schools and is now so much happier. I hung out with her yesterday and we bumped into her friends and I couldnt stop smiling because I was so proud of her. I believe that a healthy relationship is being able to trust in your partner and have faith. We arent together yet as I did end up hurting her but I do think it may have helped her grow as a person, I just hope she doesnt resent me so we can eventually get back together again. She is my favourite person again and when we hung out i felt every single feeling come back again and i love her. I cant wait to see what the future holds for us even if it ends because she will always be one of the most special people I have ever met. Thanks for this video it reassured my faith in us
Good for you. Be sure to remind others how much better your life is compared to those who are about give up on life for getting trolled by it repeatedly.
@GilotoVlogi Idon't think they were saying there life was better, they were just saying that they found someone they really love. I hope you're having an amazing day though!
What shocked me is that insecure attachment happens so often. Like in 40% of the people? That is much more than I anticipated. It had its profound effects on me too. Maybe I was more sensitive to it because I am also on the introverted side and diagnosed with autism at age 36. To this day, as a man, I refuse to cohabitate with anyone. I associate cohabitation with conflicts, arguments, nagging and structural dissatisfaction.
I'm NT and I also associate cohabitation with those things. I've had enough bad roommates to solidify this belief. If/when I get my own place, I'm never living with anyone else. People can visit if I want them to, but living with me? Never.
Since I have consciousness, all the couples in my surroundings haven't been healthy at all, I even got worried because I never had a fight with my childhood best friend... Whenever I hear/see true love stuff or true healthy relationships I'm like "Is that real or they're just faking it? Nah it can't be real lol"
Watching this has made me realize how many of the romantic relationships I have gone after wouldn't have worked out at all. I have had a lot of crushes in my life. Most notable one I can think of right now is my most recent one prior to my current partner. It was on a girl in one of my classes. Absolutely gorgeous, and she still is in my eyes, just not in the "I want to be with her" way. I was a very shut in person, only really started coming out of that hole in the last couple years. But I fantasized about being with her for a while. We started talking and became friends, and I still failed to see any of the warning signs that it wouldn't work out. Asked her out, was rejected, queue sadness. Still ended up being friends though, and now she is actually one of my closest friends. And I have a bf who I met just a little after I met her. My bf is a whooole separate story. Met him on Discord (sounds stupid as hell lol), and we talked fairly often, and played a lot of things together. Then come 2022, I start talking to him more and more as the year goes on, after I fully came to terms with the fact I am bi. And started developing a little crush. Slowly built up. At some points there was rarely a time we weren't playing a game together. So eventually, right around Christmas time, I told him. And I waited 20 minutes for a response. Thought I ruined it, and then he responds with somethin like "OK... So I've kinda been laying here thinking and freaking out... And I don't know how else to put it... I like you too, a lot.". That night cemented us. We've been continuously talking and doing things together online, and I actually ended up driving 90 minutes to finally see him in person for Memorial Day weekend. And it was the best time ever. We went out, got dinner a couple times, went to an aquarium together, and just existed in each other's company, and I had never felt happier in my life. Nights were spent cuddled up. And a lot of the time, we weren't even doing anything together, just existing in the same place, doing our own things, and talking. I plan on going back up in a few weeks.
This is really nice to read. Seems like you have a good approach on reflecting your thoughts and feelings but also taking some action and going for it! Wishing you all the best and enjoy those wonderful moments :)
the last 2 minutes of this video pretty well sums up what i want in a partner. exactly that, a partner, someone i can experience the world with and be comfortable with when the world is too rough. my other side of my coin.
You both should be comfortable in sharing your thoughts, positive or negative and be able to be vulnerable and show your true self in front of each other.
The more time passes the more I get sure that I have found the one... It's a weird feeling, especially because this is my first relationship but after almost a year and a half of ups and downs, and separations I feel like I'm on the right path. Although I do still have my anxieties and doubts of myself at times... especially with stuff that specifically trigger me, like self worth, abuse, marriage and religion... but the more I go the more I realise that both me and my partner truly are working hard to make this work. I wish her well... whether we are destined to live a lifetime by each other's side or not. She truly changed my view and experience of what life is... and thank you to this amazing channel! This video was one of your best videos yet! And well... you helped me alot during the first months of my relationship... So, thank you... I feel really lucky... And a thank you to my one and only
We're so glad that you found our content especially in the first months of your relationship. And it sounds like it's going well! What are some reasons why you believe that you found "the one"?
@@Psych2go Well, it's like certain moments that reassures you. Me and my SO had to be separated for about 8 months for reasons beyond the scope of this comment. We are a long distance couple in general but in those 8 months we had to have limited contact; mainly talking to each other through multiple page long letters. One of those moments that made me say "Yes... She's the one" was when she sent me a letter, and I could see that her way of expression was subtly different; she knew what would make me happy to read... She had listened to my needs and anxieties and she would address them even though I hadn't talked to her for months at that time. And at that moment it was that I realized, that, I was willfully trying to be better as well! Trying to remember and listen to her talks during those vulnerable moments of communication and to change for the better of each other.... To be honest all of it was just so subtle but I could feel it with all my senses. Not to mention all of her green flags, from the respect for my beliefs and experiences to all the kindness she would have for my moments of extreme vulnerability, and her amazing maturity when it came to communication! I see how much she cares... And... I do too... Also, thank you for the heart! I have to be honest and say that I found your channel way before that... I remember you guys having around 2.4 million subscribers when I first joined, but yes, your content really helped me through much of my issues regarding my relationship(and more)... It was my first relationship after all... And ngl I was at a really bad place... I didn't have the most mature behavior at the time
@@silverletter4551 Thank you for you concern. I am fortunately getting help from a licensed mental health professional, and I have explained all this to them as well. So, if there was anything of concern I'm sure they would've noticed and mentioned it to me. But I do wonder what makes you have that strong feeling.
7:53 I actually am in a relationship with someone who has many different interests as mine, but it’s always interesting to learn about each others opinions about music/art/ and etc. but it’s actually quite healthy to have differences, we understand each other and it works
I am in a really amazing relationship with my wife. In the beginning we had to learn to talk threw our disagreements. It takes time and patience to make a relationship work and last
I ended my most recent relationship for multiple reasons, but two reasons touched upon in this video help me better understand why it didn’t work out. 1. I felt as if my “good news” got swept under the rug. A lot of my good news or even my day-to-day revolved around my schooling, and he barely asked. And when he did, it was like he gave up on trying to understand when I tried to explain and it always ended up looping back to him and he would talk and talk and talk. I’d praise him on good news but sometimes it felt like I was fishing for a sincere (with understanding) congrats from him when it came to mine. 2. Our values - I realized as he was away for some long-distance classes that our values/behaviors did not quite line up. I’m more of a homebody and I enjoy just being in someone’s presence: we don’t have to be doing anything planned. He was much more of a outside, active person, wanting to always do something. Additionally, he liked spontaneity, I needed structure/scheduling. I thought that we could kind of equal each other out with these traits… Regardless, there were multiple reasons why I chose to end it, these weren’t the only two. But this video has given me insight as to why my past relationship didn’t work, and how to make future ones work 😊
Nervous is somewhat comparable to being anxious, and uncomfortable is feeling of unease (both words mean the same thing, I know.) Nervousness would include worrying. But being uncomfortable would include feelings of awkwardness. Good question, really. Took me some time to wonder and write this. Best of luck, if you are pursuing a relationship.
yes, definitely. feeling nervous can be a good thing around ur crush, I mean that feeling of butterflies and rlly liking them, but feeling uncomfortable is straight up feeling not comfortable around them, and that’s not good. they are very much different feelings.
I never comment on any youtube videos and recently I started watching your videos as a time killer at work. Your whole channel is so insightfull it's just unbelievable.. And this video really struck my heart. I've been working on myself for years now ltitle by little with help of friends and a lot self-reflection but you explained topic of loving yourself so simply and with great analogy that was great to visualise. Only this part now helped me understand what I've been trying to get to understand by myself for years... Thank you from the bottom of my heart and you got yourself a viewer for eternity.
I recently got out of a five year relationship. Thought it was true love. She had an emotional affair with someone else. I will never fall in love with anyone ever again. Update: if anyone tells you they're bad, believe them.
I really like this video. I realised that I could potentially be toxic as I have a tendency to immediately judge people cause I grew up in that kind of environment. I am now aware of that and I am trying to change it. Also 2 weeks ago I met an amazing man online. We connected so well and he's not the type of person I usually go for in terms of age, parental status and all but I feel so happy talking to him that it didn't bother me. He flirts but also respects me a lot and we can be blunt with each other. He's of course quite busy unlike me who is free most of the time so I have this tendency to overthink it negatively when he's not online. But you know what I will make efforts to love and cherish myself and not depend on him alone. We both agreed in the beginning not to take this seriously but I feel so good talking to him now. However, I will also try to be patient and let our connection grow whether it is love or something else. Having the fear of never finding true love bothers me sometimes but I will make sure not to let it affect my life and take opportunities more positively.
I hope to find someone who is kind and caring, and who excepts me for me. Someone who I feel comfortable around and who understands me. He would be Handsome and smart but also kind and caring. Someone who always has my back and is there for me. This is my ideal man.🧡 Thank you for this video it is really helpful.
Aside from a short rebound relationship in high school, I've only ever had one other partner before my current bf. I sometimes think to myself, "that's not a lot of dating experience, there's no way you could possibly have enough evidence to know that this guy is the one". But come ON! I can literally check off all of these - except for the red flags of course haha - so I have a lot of hope and determination for the future. I've never wanted so badly to spend the rest of my life with someone and - this is what really surprised me - have a family. When I've been terrified of having biological children for years, suddenly with this man I think it would be worth it to be able to raise a couple children with him. (Hell, we talk about the future a lot, and when the topic of children came up both of us instantaneously agreed on 2 being the ideal number of children to have).
And pay attention if they are arrogant in general but aren’t with you, things will always change and they will be arrogant towards you too. Remember to see how they treat others cause you’ll face the same treatment at some point
that part about thinking of yourself as your own child really hits home. especially when you have a lot of hate for yourself, you wouldnt hate your child right? its a really strong message
But it's a bad analogy. People can decide to not want any children, whereas your own self is always there, constantly nagging, pointing out your flaws and making you hate yourself. It's not exactly like just some child, but rather a child that you never wanted but was forced to have, which now drains you every single day. You have zero attachment to that child, you hate it, you want it gone, so it's more like a parasite at this point.
@@outcast4087 you my friend are torturing yourself is what i think. or more like your brain ist torturing you. but i dont know you well enough. i just know, after i sat at home for 2 years without getting anything done, i moved out and now i dont feel as useless. i think what i did is something literaly anyone can do. its exhausting but feels a lot better
@@despicableglowee5207 I know that I'm torturing myself, and that makes me hate myself even more. I hate myself, I know the reason why I hate myself, can't do anything about it, because it is who I am, my nature, then hate myself even more. Like I said, it's a perpetual cycle, it cannot be broken.
A young Spyder decided to stop by and say, great job! I love the video and I find it quite informing. I am not in a relationship, but I find these videos cool and peaceful to listen to. Helps me stay chill when I write, too.
I am looking for someone who’s christian, genuine, loyal, encouraging, hard working, and lifts me up like I do to them, I think what makes love is being ready, having a good foundation and working to stay in love
I am getting divorced soon. I carry a lot of guilt because I was the one that wanted it. While I was separated a romance developed between me and a coworker. Even though I wasn’t emotionally ready for a romance, I couldn’t help myself. Everything about it felt so amazing and natural. But it didn’t last of course because I had other emotional baggage to deal with. I still am having trouble emotionally but I’m doing a lot better. I want to make sure I’m healing the way I need to but I hate feeling like the next chapter of my life is being withheld while I do so. I started going to therapy again to try and figure out what else I can do to feel like I’m ready to move on. Obviously making the divorce official is one step and hopefully that should be happening soon. I say hopefully not out of disrespect to my ex, but because at this point, for me at least, waiting longer is more damaging on my mental health. Recently I was able to write a letter to my ex that allowed me to say things and answer questions that had gone unanswered for a long time. I was afraid to because I didn’t want to hurt her more. But it went better than I expected, and I think we were both able to get some feelings out that should have been addressed a long time ago. She wanted to know why I seemingly “gave up” and I was finally able to explain to her the massive anxiety I dealt with after I first realized I was having doubts about the marriage, the bad experience I had with my first therapist, and how debilitating it was to realize I was falling out of love with someone that I cared for and didn’t want to hurt. It can be hard to leave a relationship that’s not right for you when not everything about the relationship is bad. It’s hard to leave the good things - even if you know it’s what’s best for your growth. Sorry for the novel.
Im only 14, but when I fall, I fall hard. My first relationship was a bust. After that, I realized that for some reason, I like to fall for people who are less fortunate than me. I want to help them, whether it be family problems or anything else. I want to drag them out of that dark place. I feel a need to protect them from harm, though I can barely do that for myself. Its very hard to be able to love myself, because I just feel like there will always be something wrong with me. I want romantic interactions in my life even at my age. I crave not the touching or kissing or whatever, but the feeling that you are being cared for, and that you are able to care for another. That mutual feeling of love that resides in both of you.
Heyy!! I am just like that too. I too fall for people who are less fortunate than me I think that is bcz I am an empath and I wanna save people from their miseries but always be hopeful for your future 💗
here's is a story of mine I don't really know much about love but here's my story with her she constantly tells me whenever she's around me she feels nervous so I always understand her to the point she only spend her time with her boy bestfriend which made me jealous, that is why I open up to her, and her respond? "are you trying to separate me with my friend? he's my only friend then you're trying to separate us?" which made me felt guilty since I don't know my actions very well, after some time we solve our problem and after a few months we broke up✨ I don't know why I felt freedom after we broke up, and it felt wrong to feel happy that we broke up
honestly the most important thing to me above sharing interests is being TRULY open minded. i wouldnt be able to stand being with someone who has no intention of letting their mind be changed when it comes to political/theological/philosophical or whatever topics. i dont care what someone believes for the most part as long as you are still a good person, if there is a connection, im willing to make it work.
This kind of video somehow gives me hope, I went through a terrible phase of disappointments and toxic relationships, but I'm working on myself and soon I can hope for a healthy love
I'll be so real, I've been through a lot: emotional and physical trauma, heartbreak, gaslighting, etc. More than anyone my age has been through. But I took the high road. I took the path of self-improvement, working on myself day & night. I'm doing better than ever now, and I'm going to continue progressing. Along the way, I met my girlfriend. We're just over 4 months into our relationship and we're going to be going strong for a while, maybe even for life. A month into our relationship, it felt like we knew each other for way longer and we're so in sync that it's almost crazy. We feel the same way towards many things and, as much as we're different, we're similar in so many ways as well. We understand each other that well and we both want the same sort of things. We lead different lives and we're always ready to help each other with anything we find suitable. I know I've found my true love and I have hope for everyone out there too.
Interesting a girl showed up only after you started self improving. So does she like you for you or for all the hard work you had to do? If she was really meant to be yours, don’t you think just your personality alone should have been enough? Because remember, women don’t have to put in any work at all and droves of men will still be trying to hit it.
@@honkhonk5181 I see why you say this. I only really started focusing on the people around me when I appreciated myself. I knew I could be happy in a relationship, and that's why I opened up my options again to a serious relationship. Also, keep in mind that, yes, even though it was only after I started self-improving, we got to really know each other. So, yes, I'm confident she loves me for me AND the hard work that I put in.
What are some of the things you're doing with self improvement and working on yourself? I've also gone through lots of trauma and I try to be optimistic but my mind just goes completely pessimistic I can't help it. Even when I'm doing a little better.
If u try to love any1 else without loving urself, u attract many problems along with it. Love yourself, then learn to love others. No other way around.
I once had a crush on my bestie (we both have really religious families and shes also a girl), i wasnt sure i had a crush on her but when i saw pne of your videos i realized that i had a crush on her for a month 😅 After another month, i told her. I was just so emberassed, i could hear my heart beating fast and my friends told me i looked like i got hit by a car. Anyways, i told me bestfriend, and she acted unexpectedly mature, she acted like nothing really happened, hugged me. So it was really easy for me to get over her.
My best friend is crying out for help and I know I’ll do myself a favor to keep her safe from anyone that is trying to ruin her life. I truly love her dearly but I just don’t want anything happen to her she’s really amazing, funny, and reckless but that doesn’t mean I’ll hate her for the mistakes she makes. I will always love her no matter what or who she is because she trusts me and I trust myself to do my best to help her.
I'm a trauma survivor, I'm come up with a family with actual physical abuse and intelectual abuse and neglect. So my key elements to lock for a partner is trust worthyness, reliability and emotional rationality. But the one thing I look for a girlfriend is the feeling that I can just put down the sword ,the shield and the armor, that I can actually be me with out all that. Yet to be found, my trauma and my choices of friends attracts people that doesn't have that kind of qualitys but I'm working on that
Me too, my parents never understand me... and I was very unhappy child and teenager. Now, I am single, but I would like to have a partner who can bring me the affectiion I never had in my life :3 Someone I can trust, very open and tender.
Right now I don't have any crushes or anything like that...But I would like to experience someday what is it like - to be with someone you genuinely love or like in romantic way.
Thank you so much for sharing the part about how different hobbies and interests can be good things! That's something I needed to know, as my girlfriend and I share some interests but also have very different ones.
![Twenty One Pilots - “The Line” (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/E2Rj2gQAyPA/mqdefault.jpg)
How do you know you found your true love?
Well. Looking at my brother’s relationships. I’d say I found what it isn’t.
Then again I haven’t even been in a relationship. Because I’m afraid of being rejected. Or for my relationship to turn into something like my brother’s.
You must feel it inside yourself
@All gamer nice 👍plus you must feel something that with other you don’t feel, you must have some feeling. If you don’t have it, is just a person that you stay with because you are not strong enough to be alone
Even you think about this person they make you feel so weird you feel happy but at the same time your eyes are starting to tears up when you think about them it makes you so emotional
Life feels empty without somebody to share it with
I felt that :')
Part of my brain acknowledges this as a sign that I need to learn to appreciate the beauty in myself and the world around me, but it's definitely hard some days 😅😅
Wishing you the best!
Life was harder without my partner, and I remember how lonely and sad I was before him. But I did find connection with friends and family, and spent quality time with them when I felt alone. And when I couldn't have time with them, I hated being by myself due to self hatred. But I had to learn to mend my self esteem a bit before getting into a romantic relationship. I found the beauty in being single and putting myself first. Of course, I wasn't perfect, it took time and practice to balance my needs with others. But without that development, I wouldn't have been so open to a romantic relationship. I needed to have self compassion first to have compassion for someone else. It's easy for me to forgive others when it's not best, or fawning for people due to childhood trauma. Being there for myself and seeing myself as a worthy person and finding happiness without romance was a must for me, and maybe it would be helpful for you too. If you find the joy in being yourself and working on yourself, you may find romance in an unexpected time or way. Love is found when you least expect it! Find connections with friend and family, don't sell them or yourself short. Life is special and so are you! A special someone will see that that the time is right. Don't give up on love, but most importantly don't give up on yourself. You are worth getting to know and worth healing. Best of luck, friend 🫂
that's incorrect. life feels empty because you dont have a purpose. there are many ways to acquire a purpose in life. you can be in love with producing movies. you can be in love with building a business. you can be in love with being the president or you can be in love with starting a family. My point is the only reason you THINK that's the reason your life is empty is because that's what everyone else been conditioning you to believe since birth. but you better make SURE that's what you REALLY want because if not, you're gonna spend your whole life chasing after the wrong thing and end up divorced and miserable like 50% of all marriages in the united states.
Felt that, feel that, I am lonely.
Quite a familiar feeling...I promise you it will be fine and you will find your soulmate and everything will be fine. Best wishes
My oldest sister had this to say when it came to conflicts in relationships. "Its not you vs. me. It's you and me vs. the problem." That's always been my guiding principle when trying to navigate an argument.
Finding True and long lasting love is honestly one of the best things that can happen 💗
Yeah
Finding love is the best thing. It’s sad how many people think infatuation, lust, attraction and love are all the same. Love starts off in the little things. Like checking on someone’s well-being. The deep conversation and the effort someone puts into you, doesn’t mean they kiss you everyday and cuddle. It means they’re there for more than that, and yes, that means doing stuff for the person that isn’t shown to the world. It may even be as simple as asking how you are, instead of just talking.
And yes it is the best thing that can happen. But remember too love doesn’t always have to be romantic to be true. You can have a friend or family member sacrifice him or herself to you and it’s not because they are IN love with you, it’s just because they love you.
Love will always last long.
@@cleverclovercreates3249 I have a question. Can you explain to me what's love vs in love mean?
@@cleverclovercreates3249 I never said love was only romance tho- no need to type that long paragraph, I just mentioned it is the best thing that can happen to a person
@@Shake_Well_Before_Use love is like how you like a friend or family. Being in love means like you’re in love with someone romantically. You don’t love family romantically but you still love them
My relationship with anyone is literally a mirror of how u treat me. I don’t over play my part anymore. People take advantage of my good heart.
You make a good point. Today I imagined wearing a mirror as a headband (kind of like Naruto lol). Kind of like a spiritual sign or statement. For me my most natural reaction is to mirror people in their attitude. In the event they are good, something good will happen. In case of something negative, not letting myself be sucked into what they are sucked into makes me a mirror but not an equal.
It takes a lot of courage to stay true to one self even in the face of trauma, rejection and negative judgment. I’ve found myself in a series of relationships where I Was belittled for Who I am, for my expansive way to love and my view on the world around me, I had to elaborate a lot of this trauma before being able to be myself, and if I hadn’t Made that step I wouldn’t have found a soulmate Who loves me for Who I am.
It hurts, but I suggest you try to be stronger for your own good, the one for you is out there, but how can he/she find you if you are not yourself ?
hmm
Bruh you can be nice just show your dark side when in need then people won't misuse you
I do this too
Timestamps
1). That love to give, but to who 0:47
2). Beware of these red flags 2:19
3). The green flag that may lead to love 4:51
4). Making your love last 6:34
Hope this helps you out. Hope this helps you out. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Thank you 💙💙
@@SphereofCygnus not a problem happy to help
half black crystal
Im black and white
my mom white Im mixed races
After so long of occasionally watching these videos, and having crushes come and go by, I finally did it. I finally found someone, confessed and she liked me back. She's helped me quit so many bad habits and addictions of mine and so far everything has just gone so perfectly. Thank you for these videos 👍
Update: Been together 5 months now, yesterday (21st May) marked exactly 5 months 👍
Update 2: Nearly 7 months soon. She has, in the last month or so, helped me get out of my suicidal thoughts. I have gone nearly a whole month without harming myself because of her :D
Update 3: Literally 9 months tomorrow lets fucking goo
Update 4: Why are so many people liking this lmfao
Anyway, 9 months and she herself is beginning to improve, yay
Update 5: Had our 1 year anniversary on the 21st January and we're both happy 💖
Update 6: I forgot about this comment for ages but we're still going, 1 year and 9 months now. Life has been up and down since the last time I updated this but we're still together and happy as ever :3
Congrats! I wish you the best!
Gz! I hope it lasts
Congrats friend, you're one of the few that actually got to be with someone. It's a rare thing to happen in this world that doesn't happen to many people anymore. Never take it for granted.
Glad to hear, wishing you two the best ❤
WOHOOO, feels good aint? haha congrats!
As the night falls, reflect on your day. Let the images flip, like a photo album in your mind. Think about what brought you the most satisfaction. Pause awhile on the images you find most beautiful. Linger a little longer on the moments that brought you joy before you close your eyes and fall asleep.
Tomorrow you'll wake up and tend to your habits, one step at a time. You'll add new images to the story of your life, and that thread of meaning will continue to emerge.
I missed not one but 2 shots with 2 girls both today and yesterday :C
❤❤
@@coolrover What's meant for you will not pass you by! I've been there and if it's meant to be, you'll find your way back to each other. ❤
@@SphereofCygnus thank you, kind stranger! For giving me hope! I hope that you aswell meet the one true love for you! ❤️
Thinking of good things that happened during the day will make your brain produce more "happy hormones" during the night. 😊
Actually that's a habit one often gets recommend by professionals to ease depression.
In a relationship i look for someone that’s understanding and honest
it's not about finding the right person, it's about becoming the right person
I don't know what to change about me to be lovable
How do you become the right person while also not letting someone change who you are. Itçs all so confusing
I've witnessed first hand the enormous impact your romantic partner can have on your well being and life quality.
These are really good points. Pay attention to how the other person makes you feel, as well as how they treat others around them.
My Husband is amazing!! I've had a brain tumor that led to brain damage where what I think and say don't match and I need help from him after completely being exhausted while doing my absolute best to function and he was treated badly gro wing up and has a major lifelong trauma from what his Mother did to him and has to be extra extra strong to even be able to help me a little. We've been married 33 years. That is truly what I would absolutely say is true love. ❤
Here's to 33 more happy understanding years!! 🌹🌹
Congratulations on 33 years of marriage! Do you have any tips that you can share with us for those of us who may be relatively new in the dating world?
@@barrysmith8920 Thank you!
@@Psych2go The only thing I'd say is keep in trying come what may and always assume your spouse is doing their best. (Unless it's an abusive type situation, of course).
@@juliejackman2649 You’re welcome !
Trust, loyalty, caring, communication, willingness to work things out, never giving up, supporting each other being a team being reliable honest and forgiving and understanding.
I already found what i was looking for, she respects my boundaries, she shows me love and i feel appreciated with her, she really is the best !!!
I thought I did twice, but now I'm choosing to be alone insted of chasing "my better half," now im happier then ever. Whether short term or long term I've always been misrable in relationships.
I just asked a girl out for the first time in 3 years she said YES I’m so happy especially since rejection terrifies me
I wish for someone who just has an interest and is straightforward. No stupid games of catch or luke-warmish behaviour.
The LMFT part at the end is exactly what will save the world. If everyone learns something from this and shares it, then applies it in their lives everyone will be happy and divorces will no longer be an issue because the couples will learn how to work with each other to understand why they're feeling what they're feeling and build something greater than what they thought they had.
A girlfriend that understands and accepts the sides I don't show anyone and I can feel comfortable being myself with. And I get that with her no matter how nervous I seem. I may not always get the words out and I know there's more to it than a case of the warm fuzzies as we call it but I'm sure of is I'm happy around her. All that's left is finding a similar interest. I've already told her how I feel and she felt it first.
and the best part is, such a girlfriend doesnt even exist. Women do not understand and accept the flaws of men, women only understand 100% perfect men, in each and every single scenario possibly imaginable. The sides you you dont show anyone, but show to her, can and will used against you. Be warned, stay single.
@@anderstermansen130average Sigma kid talking about women without calling them a bitch(impossible)
Man I feel like.. I love her but she doesn’t and just playing w me 😅 what am I supposed to do?
@@Kreninja He did, in fact, not call her a bitch. So mission accomplished ig.
@@anderstermansen130damn bro who rejected you?
When I first got to know the love of my life I was only 5 years old.
Music is the love of my life. ♥️
I’m very pleased to say that my girlfriend, Ivory, whom I’ve been with for nearly 4 years, fulfills every green flag. She treats me like a king, bolsters my strengths, counters my weaknesses, and makes me feel like I can do anything. She is my soulmate and I love her more than life itself.
Blessed. May it last a lifetime, King.
Best of wishes to you and your beautiful relationship. Hope it always stays that way. Please don't pay attention to the negative comments that will be swarming in soon
@@user-kb4vq that's great that you have an amazing relationship..best of luck.
4 years! So exciting. Are y’all going to get married?
@@dinosaur___7209 Yup! Aiming to marry her in 2 years :)
I really hope I find love that lasts😭
Be positive, dream about him, ask God or the universe, be a good person who is kind to the world and He will come.
It happened to me after decades of grief, frustration, divorces, intense pain and loneliness.
She is beyond my dreams, and I will propose to her in August even though she already refers to herself as my fiancee. 🙏🙏🙏💞
@@barrysmith8920 thing is I don't wanna delude myself man, when it happens it'll happen or is that not the way to think of it?
@@crazymadstriker766
Like anything else, if you want to be a star athlete, figure out how to prepare yourself to win.
Want to be a great doctor? Find the good school and best environment to practice.
Want a wonderful love in your life?
Make yourself worthy, trusting, loyal, respectful and send love out as a good person everywhere...Your lover will come.
We all want this kind of love! 😢
@@Psych2go I broke up with 5 people already 🥲
Real love to me is something where while it takes work, both parties involved don't really care because they think it's more than worth it.
Thank you for your perspective. Relationship is a two-way street. Both people are responsible for putting time work to keep their relationship healthy! Do you think it's easy or hard to find someone like that?
@@Psych2go It can be tough, but it seems like it's worth the while. I would not know myself however since I don't have any experience in a relationship yet. :/
Timestamps:
0:47 "That love to give, but to who?"
2:18 "Beware of these red flags!"
4:51 "The green flag that may lead to love!"
6:34 "Making your love last."
Thank you for the time stamps!
True love will come eventually. When you least expect it. It may not be tomorrow, it may not be for another few years. It may not be when you need it or desire it the most, but as long as you try, it will come.
I havent had a relationship outside of long distances. I've never had friends or a boyfriend to hang around with. But I know one day it will come.
And you dont need that to be happy. Happiness isnt a state to aspire to. Happiness is an act. What makes you happy? Do something happy today :).
Allow happiness to come into your life. Even when youre depressed; make a ramen bowl, cry it out, watch something positive. It all makes the difference.
To all reading this, youre not alone. Im struggling too. But thats okay, because we can always get better❤
What I need from a partner: Fidelity, not cheating or lying, and being actively supportive instead of a continual active hinderance.
When you purposely sabotage every effort your partner makes, you lose any "moral right" to be offended at the results you created.
I sometimes feel that I'm the only person who wants love but I hope that there will be someone who wants love too
Love isn’t about romance. Love is peace, truth and hope. That is true love.
nuh uh
@@codeineguzzler5816 when it comes to romance, that love is lacking. Love is true divinity. That romantic love is just a fake or counterfeit.
I think it should've been "love isn't JUST about romance" because love includes romance. What is romance? Expressing love, affection, dedication and fancy towards your partner through actions, words, expressions etc.
Bringing flowers to your partner is romance for example.
@@smollilbean That isn’t enough. Love is the light and immeasurable than normal love.
@@aishi_rei off course romance isn't enough for love to sustain. But i replied to your comment saying romance isn't a part of love, which you're wrong about. It is a part of love and is important. What are you trying to say and what do you want to prove? Or you're just trying to sound different and quirky..
The love I seek is someone who enjoys spending time together and someone to whom i can dedicate myself to and do things better.... someone who'd love to go on small walks together and stays together through good and tough times.... Someone who'd bring me up when I go down and someone I can be there for in their tough times.... Someone like Rem...
I found love right after I stopped searching for it
I think the most important thing is feeling that you're working together, like completing a dance! Each of us take turns and we make beautiful memories together
These videos really help a lot.
I've yet to be in a relationship. I got really close. The feelings were felt on both sides, but due to complications, it couldn't go any further than a friendship.
I will say, though, that I've struggled with the self-love the most.
These videos have really helped me deal with my insecurities.
Y'all are lifesavers.
I love you guys ❤
(in a purely platonic way)
Maybe someday (hopefully sooner than later) I'll find the one. That one special person for me. Only time will tell ⏳
Dude we're #twinning rn
Here is a way to help one realize how they should treat themselves to love themselves
Think of someone you care about someone you truly loved it doesn't have to be romantic love just any form of love
A best friend a family member put them in your head and think about them
Now when you're about to say something horrible to yourself think about that person would you say that to them if the answer is no then don't do it to yourself
I had it. Once upon a time. I was together with them for almost ten years. I havent been able to make a connection like that again, and I have long since accepted such a thing may be lost to me forever. And im stuck with this hole in my chest that wont heal.
If you love someone, tell them. Dont waste your moments, especially with someone that might be your soul mate. Cherish them. Love them as best as you can.
Love is like god today, if you believe in it you eventually find someone but if you don't, well you stay alone, it's about the willingness to be loved is what attracts love
Honestly, I just want someone that firstly doesn’t treat me like garbage… other than that, happy to be with me, likes hugs, doesn’t lie, and happy being with me and I’m happy being with them.
And as mentioned in the video, having someone that is receptive to not only bad news, but good news. I also think it’d be funny walking into a room just saying, good news everyone, like the old guy from futurama, and on that note, find each other’s humour funny
I'm looking for someone who just cares... at all... My 33 years has been filled with people pretending to like me, and people who only like me by default (family). I help people move, I lend money, I show up for invites, I stay healthy, I work legitimate jobs, I learn for the sake of itself, and yet it seems my entire life nobody has wanted anything to do with me. I just want to feel unconditional love and give it in return just once in my life.
Love yourself like you would love your partner. Even if its just self talk.
I've found love at last and we've been together for one year now. Sadly I had to move due academic purposes as the career I chose is not in my city...Still, we discussed this and agreed on fighting for it. It's been 4 months since the last time we've seen each other but we trust that this is going to work. I'm coming back in a month to visit her for winter break and later on for summer holidays. It's hard but I have a good feeling about this.
enjoy the reunion!
My grandparents has gotten married trough and arrange marriage and now they're still married 50 years later going on trips together going on dates and going to excerise together. They do everything together to bond and keep they're love true.
My boyfriend and I have almost been together for 2 years and I still love him just as much as I’ve always have he makes me so comfortable and happy
Don't throw your love to people who don't deserve it. Find true companionship and team work, a person with values and integrity not just empty shells (unless that's what you like, but you won't find any true love there). They must want the samethings in life as you, otherwise it's going to fail, and life path can change at any time
i swear to goodness, this person's voice has sounded like 3 ways: young, relaxing, and chill. this voice of yours is the 3rd one i've heard. keep up the good work, you help others with mental health and other.
I'm so lonely and been for 31 years.
But i feel like God prepared me for this moment. All that i have asked for came in the right time. The healing of my broken past. The anger, the hurting. All seem ive forgiven and forget because God made me forget.
Amazingly enough, i have very different outlook when it comes to companionship.
Im sorry but when i was angry, i look at women only in a sexual way.
And everything imperfect like me, i've hated it.
Now i dont really care anymore.
All i want is a lasting love and a woman who will be my goal.
I can't get myself to work since i dont have any aspirations in life.
I dont care anymore if she's not pretty. I'd be happy enough to cook and eat breakfast with someone whom i love and loves me back.
To my future wife, i will take care of you and will make you happy for the rest of our days
I've never been in a relationship and have never dated, I gave up ,but I think it might be a blessing in disguise
I can definitely relate to this. Though, in my case it mainly the fact that I'm technically on the aro spectrum and I really don't feel like it would be fair to the other party not being able to share the same feelings as them.
I have stayed single in my entire life and in the last few months I learned how to deal with my loneliness. I don`t even wanna have a partner at some point. People around me tell me "I`m late", but I don`t care :)
It's great that learned how to deal with your loneliness and that you feel independent enough not to want a partner! How did you learn to thrive in your solitude?
At 32, I'm doing the reverse way. Until my 25 yo, I didn't care about love relationship. After, I was like "oh maybe someday". And since I'm 30 yo, I'd really want one, but I have NO idea about how to date.
I can't ask tips to my friends, because I don't have any for 7 years (since I finished my studies), and fidn't have close ones since I left primary school. 😅 Not a problem : I prefer being by myself than dealing with people. I just have rnough place in ly heart for 1 close relationship, and this one is reserved for love (not ftiendship).
@@grenade8572 There are bunch of ,,redpill" videos about how to get a partner you can use if you want a partner. But I don`t use their tips because I don`t find as good example about how men should act with women.
@@Psych2go Easy! I just said multiple time to myself that I don`t give a f*ck. I`m trying to find everything that can make me happy in life rather than relationships, dating and s*x. Life is too short to be obssesed with only one thing. There are bunch of other things that can make you happy.
I cant find anyone who really lines up with my core values, I kinda wish there was somebody whod share core values with me
I’m still looking to find true love 😇
Only Three things needed in her honesty,caring and love 🙃
i was in a long distance relationship that made me feel that it was very co-dependent ultimately making me unhappy so I decided to break up with her. After a while i improved in school and my hobbies again but so did she. She was very depressed but she moved schools and is now so much happier. I hung out with her yesterday and we bumped into her friends and I couldnt stop smiling because I was so proud of her. I believe that a healthy relationship is being able to trust in your partner and have faith. We arent together yet as I did end up hurting her but I do think it may have helped her grow as a person, I just hope she doesnt resent me so we can eventually get back together again. She is my favourite person again and when we hung out i felt every single feeling come back again and i love her. I cant wait to see what the future holds for us even if it ends because she will always be one of the most special people I have ever met. Thanks for this video it reassured my faith in us
I already found the true love to my partner. We're really working out everything to understand each other. 😊
Good for you. Be sure to remind others how much better your life is compared to those who are about give up on life for getting trolled by it repeatedly.
@GilotoVlogi Idon't think they were saying there life was better, they were just saying that they found someone they really love. I hope you're having an amazing day though!
What shocked me is that insecure attachment happens so often. Like in 40% of the people? That is much more than I anticipated. It had its profound effects on me too. Maybe I was more sensitive to it because I am also on the introverted side and diagnosed with autism at age 36. To this day, as a man, I refuse to cohabitate with anyone. I associate cohabitation with conflicts, arguments, nagging and structural dissatisfaction.
I'm NT and I also associate cohabitation with those things. I've had enough bad roommates to solidify this belief. If/when I get my own place, I'm never living with anyone else. People can visit if I want them to, but living with me? Never.
Since I have consciousness, all the couples in my surroundings haven't been healthy at all, I even got worried because I never had a fight with my childhood best friend... Whenever I hear/see true love stuff or true healthy relationships I'm like "Is that real or they're just faking it? Nah it can't be real lol"
After watching this video, it confirms what i feeled, I just lost my true love, it's so painful ...
The thumbnail art is so cute, and the art in the video is amazing as always. Hope I can be in a healthy relationship with someone I truly love. ❤
We hope that you'll be in a healthy relationship as well! What are some green flags that you look for in a partner?
@@Psych2go no gay couple representation?
@@제가와타시 when did the video mention genres?
@@제가와타시 thats just a mental illness wdym
@@제가와타시 cry me a river
Just want someone to love me for me instead of trying to change me into something I'm not
clicking on this just to say that the thumnail drawing was adorable
Watching this has made me realize how many of the romantic relationships I have gone after wouldn't have worked out at all. I have had a lot of crushes in my life. Most notable one I can think of right now is my most recent one prior to my current partner. It was on a girl in one of my classes. Absolutely gorgeous, and she still is in my eyes, just not in the "I want to be with her" way. I was a very shut in person, only really started coming out of that hole in the last couple years. But I fantasized about being with her for a while. We started talking and became friends, and I still failed to see any of the warning signs that it wouldn't work out. Asked her out, was rejected, queue sadness. Still ended up being friends though, and now she is actually one of my closest friends. And I have a bf who I met just a little after I met her.
My bf is a whooole separate story. Met him on Discord (sounds stupid as hell lol), and we talked fairly often, and played a lot of things together. Then come 2022, I start talking to him more and more as the year goes on, after I fully came to terms with the fact I am bi. And started developing a little crush. Slowly built up. At some points there was rarely a time we weren't playing a game together. So eventually, right around Christmas time, I told him. And I waited 20 minutes for a response. Thought I ruined it, and then he responds with somethin like "OK... So I've kinda been laying here thinking and freaking out... And I don't know how else to put it... I like you too, a lot.". That night cemented us. We've been continuously talking and doing things together online, and I actually ended up driving 90 minutes to finally see him in person for Memorial Day weekend. And it was the best time ever. We went out, got dinner a couple times, went to an aquarium together, and just existed in each other's company, and I had never felt happier in my life. Nights were spent cuddled up. And a lot of the time, we weren't even doing anything together, just existing in the same place, doing our own things, and talking. I plan on going back up in a few weeks.
This is really nice to read. Seems like you have a good approach on reflecting your thoughts and feelings but also taking some action and going for it!
Wishing you all the best and enjoy those wonderful moments :)
Hello, hows it going?😊
6 years and going strong!!!!!! 💞
same here! And im still fine with the terms!
the last 2 minutes of this video pretty well sums up what i want in a partner. exactly that, a partner, someone i can experience the world with and be comfortable with when the world is too rough. my other side of my coin.
LOVE IS AN ACTIVE CHOICE YOU MAKE
I want someone I understand and understands me for who I am and what I want to be
You both should be comfortable in sharing your thoughts, positive or negative and be able to be vulnerable and show your true self in front of each other.
The more time passes the more I get sure that I have found the one... It's a weird feeling, especially because this is my first relationship but after almost a year and a half of ups and downs, and separations I feel like I'm on the right path.
Although I do still have my anxieties and doubts of myself at times... especially with stuff that specifically trigger me, like self worth, abuse, marriage and religion... but the more I go the more I realise that both me and my partner truly are working hard to make this work.
I wish her well... whether we are destined to live a lifetime by each other's side or not. She truly changed my view and experience of what life is...
and thank you to this amazing channel! This video was one of your best videos yet! And well... you helped me alot during the first months of my relationship... So, thank you... I feel really lucky...
And a thank you to my one and only
We're so glad that you found our content especially in the first months of your relationship. And it sounds like it's going well! What are some reasons why you believe that you found "the one"?
@@Psych2go Well, it's like certain moments that reassures you.
Me and my SO had to be separated for about 8 months for reasons beyond the scope of this comment.
We are a long distance couple in general but in those 8 months we had to have limited contact; mainly talking to each other through multiple page long letters.
One of those moments that made me say "Yes... She's the one" was when she sent me a letter, and I could see that her way of expression was subtly different; she knew what would make me happy to read... She had listened to my needs and anxieties and she would address them even though I hadn't talked to her for months at that time.
And at that moment it was that I realized, that, I was willfully trying to be better as well! Trying to remember and listen to her talks during those vulnerable moments of communication and to change for the better of each other....
To be honest all of it was just so subtle but I could feel it with all my senses.
Not to mention all of her green flags, from the respect for my beliefs and experiences to all the kindness she would have for my moments of extreme vulnerability, and her amazing maturity when it came to communication!
I see how much she cares... And... I do too...
Also, thank you for the heart!
I have to be honest and say that I found your channel way before that... I remember you guys having around 2.4 million subscribers when I first joined, but yes, your content really helped me through much of my issues regarding my relationship(and more)... It was my first relationship after all... And ngl I was at a really bad place... I didn't have the most mature behavior at the time
I feel sorry for you. You are experiencing something you think is good now. But in time, you will regret it.
@@silverletter4551
Why do you say that? If you care to explain of course
@@silverletter4551 Thank you for you concern.
I am fortunately getting help from a licensed mental health professional, and I have explained all this to them as well.
So, if there was anything of concern I'm sure they would've noticed and mentioned it to me.
But I do wonder what makes you have that strong feeling.
I just want to be loved in a way that makes me feel like the only guy that ever mattered to her
7:53 I actually am in a relationship with someone who has many different interests as mine, but it’s always interesting to learn about each others opinions about music/art/ and etc. but it’s actually quite healthy to have differences, we understand each other and it works
Respect..the most underrated thing in a relationship
I am in a really amazing relationship with my wife. In the beginning we had to learn to talk threw our disagreements. It takes time and patience to make a relationship work and last
Good, good. Rub it all in.
I ended my most recent relationship for multiple reasons, but two reasons touched upon in this video help me better understand why it didn’t work out.
1. I felt as if my “good news” got swept under the rug. A lot of my good news or even my day-to-day revolved around my schooling, and he barely asked. And when he did, it was like he gave up on trying to understand when I tried to explain and it always ended up looping back to him and he would talk and talk and talk. I’d praise him on good news but sometimes it felt like I was fishing for a sincere (with understanding) congrats from him when it came to mine.
2. Our values - I realized as he was away for some long-distance classes that our values/behaviors did not quite line up. I’m more of a homebody and I enjoy just being in someone’s presence: we don’t have to be doing anything planned. He was much more of a outside, active person, wanting to always do something. Additionally, he liked spontaneity, I needed structure/scheduling. I thought that we could kind of equal each other out with these traits…
Regardless, there were multiple reasons why I chose to end it, these weren’t the only two. But this video has given me insight as to why my past relationship didn’t work, and how to make future ones work 😊
Maybe that's a dumb question but is there a difference between feeling uncomfortable around someone and feeling nervous? Like around your crush?
The feeling of nervousness is real
Nervous is somewhat comparable to being anxious, and uncomfortable is feeling of unease (both words mean the same thing, I know.)
Nervousness would include worrying. But being uncomfortable would include feelings of awkwardness.
Good question, really. Took me some time to wonder and write this.
Best of luck, if you are pursuing a relationship.
Barely not 😂 key difference is you want them 😊
@@彼女を愛している ur teacher is ur wingman LOL
yes, definitely. feeling nervous can be a good thing around ur crush, I mean that feeling of butterflies and rlly liking them, but feeling uncomfortable is straight up feeling not comfortable around them, and that’s not good. they are very much different feelings.
I never comment on any youtube videos and recently I started watching your videos as a time killer at work. Your whole channel is so insightfull it's just unbelievable.. And this video really struck my heart. I've been working on myself for years now ltitle by little with help of friends and a lot self-reflection but you explained topic of loving yourself so simply and with great analogy that was great to visualise. Only this part now helped me understand what I've been trying to get to understand by myself for years... Thank you from the bottom of my heart and you got yourself a viewer for eternity.
I recently got out of a five year relationship. Thought it was true love. She had an emotional affair with someone else. I will never fall in love with anyone ever again.
Update: if anyone tells you they're bad, believe them.
Drepression is an abyss and love for my half is how i keep out of there ❤️
I really like this video. I realised that I could potentially be toxic as I have a tendency to immediately judge people cause I grew up in that kind of environment. I am now aware of that and I am trying to change it. Also 2 weeks ago I met an amazing man online. We connected so well and he's not the type of person I usually go for in terms of age, parental status and all but I feel so happy talking to him that it didn't bother me. He flirts but also respects me a lot and we can be blunt with each other. He's of course quite busy unlike me who is free most of the time so I have this tendency to overthink it negatively when he's not online. But you know what I will make efforts to love and cherish myself and not depend on him alone. We both agreed in the beginning not to take this seriously but I feel so good talking to him now. However, I will also try to be patient and let our connection grow whether it is love or something else. Having the fear of never finding true love bothers me sometimes but I will make sure not to let it affect my life and take opportunities more positively.
I hope to find someone who is kind and caring, and who excepts me for me. Someone who I feel comfortable around and who understands me. He would be Handsome and smart but also kind and caring. Someone who always has my back and is there for me. This is my ideal man.🧡 Thank you for this video it is really helpful.
Aside from a short rebound relationship in high school, I've only ever had one other partner before my current bf. I sometimes think to myself, "that's not a lot of dating experience, there's no way you could possibly have enough evidence to know that this guy is the one".
But come ON! I can literally check off all of these - except for the red flags of course haha - so I have a lot of hope and determination for the future. I've never wanted so badly to spend the rest of my life with someone and - this is what really surprised me - have a family. When I've been terrified of having biological children for years, suddenly with this man I think it would be worth it to be able to raise a couple children with him. (Hell, we talk about the future a lot, and when the topic of children came up both of us instantaneously agreed on 2 being the ideal number of children to have).
And pay attention if they are arrogant in general but aren’t with you, things will always change and they will be arrogant towards you too. Remember to see how they treat others cause you’ll face the same treatment at some point
idk if thats true. you can love your dog but eat other dogs. i mean replace dog with any animal
8:46 as a wise man once said, "You may win the argument, but you'll lose the relationship."
Correction: You'll never even have the first relationship, ever.
that part about thinking of yourself as your own child really hits home. especially when you have a lot of hate for yourself, you wouldnt hate your child right? its a really strong message
But it's a bad analogy. People can decide to not want any children, whereas your own self is always there, constantly nagging, pointing out your flaws and making you hate yourself.
It's not exactly like just some child, but rather a child that you never wanted but was forced to have, which now drains you every single day. You have zero attachment to that child, you hate it, you want it gone, so it's more like a parasite at this point.
@@outcast4087 well you are alive you dont get to choose. You have to live with it. And if you want to enjoy life you should care for yourself
@@outcast4087 you my friend are torturing yourself is what i think. or more like your brain ist torturing you. but i dont know you well enough. i just know, after i sat at home for 2 years without getting anything done, i moved out and now i dont feel as useless. i think what i did is something literaly anyone can do. its exhausting but feels a lot better
@@despicableglowee5207 I know that I'm torturing myself, and that makes me hate myself even more. I hate myself, I know the reason why I hate myself, can't do anything about it, because it is who I am, my nature, then hate myself even more. Like I said, it's a perpetual cycle, it cannot be broken.
@@outcast4087 youll get there dont stress
Hey! I found someone ❤
This is the most satisfying feeling ever.🎉
A young Spyder decided to stop by and say, great job! I love the video and I find it quite informing. I am not in a relationship, but I find these videos cool and peaceful to listen to. Helps me stay chill when I write, too.
I am looking for someone who’s christian, genuine, loyal, encouraging, hard working, and lifts me up like I do to them, I think what makes love is being ready, having a good foundation and working to stay in love
I am getting divorced soon. I carry a lot of guilt because I was the one that wanted it. While I was separated a romance developed between me and a coworker. Even though I wasn’t emotionally ready for a romance, I couldn’t help myself. Everything about it felt so amazing and natural. But it didn’t last of course because I had other emotional baggage to deal with. I still am having trouble emotionally but I’m doing a lot better. I want to make sure I’m healing the way I need to but I hate feeling like the next chapter of my life is being withheld while I do so. I started going to therapy again to try and figure out what else I can do to feel like I’m ready to move on. Obviously making the divorce official is one step and hopefully that should be happening soon. I say hopefully not out of disrespect to my ex, but because at this point, for me at least, waiting longer is more damaging on my mental health. Recently I was able to write a letter to my ex that allowed me to say things and answer questions that had gone unanswered for a long time. I was afraid to because I didn’t want to hurt her more. But it went better than I expected, and I think we were both able to get some feelings out that should have been addressed a long time ago. She wanted to know why I seemingly “gave up” and I was finally able to explain to her the massive anxiety I dealt with after I first realized I was having doubts about the marriage, the bad experience I had with my first therapist, and how debilitating it was to realize I was falling out of love with someone that I cared for and didn’t want to hurt. It can be hard to leave a relationship that’s not right for you when not everything about the relationship is bad. It’s hard to leave the good things - even if you know it’s what’s best for your growth. Sorry for the novel.
On the 29th of May, it'll be the 13th birthday of our relationship with my beautiful wife. True love is real.
Im only 14, but when I fall, I fall hard. My first relationship was a bust. After that, I realized that for some reason, I like to fall for people who are less fortunate than me. I want to help them, whether it be family problems or anything else. I want to drag them out of that dark place. I feel a need to protect them from harm, though I can barely do that for myself. Its very hard to be able to love myself, because I just feel like there will always be something wrong with me. I want romantic interactions in my life even at my age. I crave not the touching or kissing or whatever, but the feeling that you are being cared for, and that you are able to care for another. That mutual feeling of love that resides in both of you.
Same here but I'm 23.
Heyy!! I am just like that too. I too fall for people who are less fortunate than me I think that is bcz I am an empath and I wanna save people from their miseries but always be hopeful for your future 💗
here's is a story of mine
I don't really know much about love but here's my story with her
she constantly tells me whenever she's around me she feels nervous so I always understand her to the point she only spend her time with her boy bestfriend which made me jealous, that is why I open up to her, and her respond?
"are you trying to separate me with my friend? he's my only friend then you're trying to separate us?"
which made me felt guilty since I don't know my actions very well, after some time we solve our problem and after a few months we broke up✨
I don't know why I felt freedom after we broke up, and it felt wrong to feel happy that we broke up
honestly the most important thing to me above sharing interests is being TRULY open minded. i wouldnt be able to stand being with someone who has no intention of letting their mind be changed when it comes to political/theological/philosophical or whatever topics. i dont care what someone believes for the most part as long as you are still a good person, if there is a connection, im willing to make it work.
Alright i watched the video. Are you happy now algorithm!?
This kind of video somehow gives me hope, I went through a terrible phase of disappointments and toxic relationships, but I'm working on myself and soon I can hope for a healthy love
I'll be so real, I've been through a lot: emotional and physical trauma, heartbreak, gaslighting, etc. More than anyone my age has been through. But I took the high road. I took the path of self-improvement, working on myself day & night. I'm doing better than ever now, and I'm going to continue progressing. Along the way, I met my girlfriend. We're just over 4 months into our relationship and we're going to be going strong for a while, maybe even for life. A month into our relationship, it felt like we knew each other for way longer and we're so in sync that it's almost crazy. We feel the same way towards many things and, as much as we're different, we're similar in so many ways as well. We understand each other that well and we both want the same sort of things. We lead different lives and we're always ready to help each other with anything we find suitable. I know I've found my true love and I have hope for everyone out there too.
Interesting a girl showed up only after you started self improving. So does she like you for you or for all the hard work you had to do? If she was really meant to be yours, don’t you think just your personality alone should have been enough? Because remember, women don’t have to put in any work at all and droves of men will still be trying to hit it.
@@honkhonk5181 I see why you say this. I only really started focusing on the people around me when I appreciated myself. I knew I could be happy in a relationship, and that's why I opened up my options again to a serious relationship. Also, keep in mind that, yes, even though it was only after I started self-improving, we got to really know each other. So, yes, I'm confident she loves me for me AND the hard work that I put in.
What are some of the things you're doing with self improvement and working on yourself? I've also gone through lots of trauma and I try to be optimistic but my mind just goes completely pessimistic I can't help it. Even when I'm doing a little better.
"We don't have to agree, but we must work to understand" - Yana Dubinsky
Let's be honest
We want our love story just as beautiful as an anime
If u try to love any1 else without loving urself, u attract many problems along with it.
Love yourself, then learn to love others.
No other way around.
I once had a crush on my bestie (we both have really religious families and shes also a girl), i wasnt sure i had a crush on her but when i saw pne of your videos i realized that i had a crush on her for a month 😅 After another month, i told her. I was just so emberassed, i could hear my heart beating fast and my friends told me i looked like i got hit by a car. Anyways, i told me bestfriend, and she acted unexpectedly mature, she acted like nothing really happened, hugged me. So it was really easy for me to get over her.
My best friend is crying out for help and I know I’ll do myself a favor to keep her safe from anyone that is trying to ruin her life. I truly love her dearly but I just don’t want anything happen to her she’s really amazing, funny, and reckless but that doesn’t mean I’ll hate her for the mistakes she makes. I will always love her no matter what or who she is because she trusts me and I trust myself to do my best to help her.
I'm a trauma survivor, I'm come up with a family with actual physical abuse and intelectual abuse and neglect. So my key elements to lock for a partner is trust worthyness, reliability and emotional rationality. But the one thing I look for a girlfriend is the feeling that I can just put down the sword ,the shield and the armor, that I can actually be me with out all that. Yet to be found, my trauma and my choices of friends attracts people that doesn't have that kind of qualitys but I'm working on that
Me too, my parents never understand me... and I was very unhappy child and teenager.
Now, I am single, but I would like to have a partner who can bring me the affectiion I never had in my life :3 Someone I can trust, very open and tender.
Right now I don't have any crushes or anything like that...But I would like to experience someday what is it like - to be with someone you genuinely love or like in romantic way.
Thank you so much for sharing the part about how different hobbies and interests can be good things! That's something I needed to know, as my girlfriend and I share some interests but also have very different ones.
Makes me happy that after almost half a year we still are going great
It's kimd of creepy how little we fight
We never argue, more discuss
Me watching this knowing I'll never find that one person.
Same.
commitment=understandings working working out
Hello from the past
-from a time traveler
😎
😦
Hello there
Howd you do that?
Ok but actually, how?