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@@zimfan101 She may or she may not. It's on you to make a selection you can bet on. You also forget women age - and at a faster rate than men. Do you really think it's that easy to up and go to the next stud when you are no longer prime merchandise? Those 'studs' you fear have their own specific pool of eligibles and women past their prime dragging kids behind them are not in that pool. Don't panic, just select wisely.
And thats only half of it. The real challenge is being loved back. Many people dislike themselves so fiercely, that they cannot deal with being loved, and actually devalue a person who is kind to them as naive, blind or desperate. Why else would they love someone so deeply flawed as us
What if they are right to dislike themselves? Some people are realists. Beyond ego, they know they suck on certain levels. They know where their objective market value is, so they correctly dislike themselves. It's a vicious cycle and a heart-breaking situation.
One of my favorite quotes about love is “Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
thirtythreeflavors exactly. Jesus is Love because God is Love. Jesus is God personified. Love is all that there is because God is all that there is. If more people took the time to study and follow the true meaning of this, the love in this world would flow in abundance. Yet, here we are wanting to learn about love but quick to deny its exact origin.
Thank you for replying. But I do disagree. Alienation from authenticity of self deserves compassion (and one must be severely alienated in order to do harm to or to curse others or oneself). Compassion and kindness does not mean not stopping one from self harm or harm of others. Otherwise we just add insult to injury and find ways to justify, match and promulgate "social justice warrior" insanity. This is my view.
Drake Drones people that could be considered assholes are like this because of battles in their lives. They most likely have been nurtured into this behaviour, which is a hard battle in itself because life is more difficult for them too. Everyone should be respected, regardless of their behaviour. If you say that they are not deserving of your compassion because they are assholes then you have sunk yourself to their level.
Hi Alexandra... Wow, quoting the man whom I followed in coming to grasp Love... This is one of the most powerful understandings... Kinda linked to your's: “To try is to risk failure… But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow … but they simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, live and Love (!)” - Leo Busgalia. Bless you in your journey and growth.
@AA K OH, so there are others that get this? Not only me... so instead of being gravely endangered, I am simply isolated? In that case I will keep calling...
Truth is... Love is imperfect. Think about your parents: their love is immense, probably they'd do everything for you. Still, sometimes they make mistakes, they hurt you, etc... But at the end of the day, they do love you, they care about you, they want to see you happy. That's true love for me: when you want to see the other person happy, no matter what
Yeah I’m in a situation where I’ve tried for years to love my friend unconditionally but I’m noticing that I’m not happy and stressed. Videos like this confuse me cause I’ve done all of this but when do you set the boundaries?
nyleve101 True love is suffering . It’s like God watching you sin knowing you are hurting yourself but you have free will . It’s like Vanessa Bryant wanting to give up hope but she has to be strong for her remaining children yet she is suffering. It’s never giving up hope for your child who is a drug addict. The fact of the matter is EVER PERSON is TOXIC in they own way . Period
@@richardsmith7696 We were friends, Richard, until you asked my for $3000.00 this past August. Don't you remember, Richard? If that's your real name. So, no, not anymore. Please try to scam someone else. Have a good day!
Unfortunately, kindness garners no respect nowadays, especially from women. Nowadays, it's all about who can cut who's throat the fastest, or how skillfully someone can stab someone else in the back without getting caught.
The problem with kindness is that people can abuse it. To be kind to everyone is asking to be abused at some point. People will extort kind people, and that is why kindness is such a rare commodity.
@Michealjay True kindness stems from self love, and warrants boundaries. All secure relationships require boundaries. If you feel as though your boundaries are being violated and continue the relationship without communicating the violations, it is no longer a secure relationship. If you are true to your self and respect your own boundaries, you can be as kind as humanly possible without fear. Their violation of your kindness is on them. Love cannot be sustained with someone who doesn't love themselves first anyway.
@@darthvader1793 i think it means when you like someone you usually like them BECAUSE they (for example) pretty, smart, athletic, etc. but when you love someone, you accept their weakness, you love them DESPITE their coldness, how long they take to reply, how busy they are, how far they live, etc. but i haven't been in love so this is just my opinion
Not true. You love someone BECAUSE they are compatible with you and you have a connection with them - so it's "because." Once that's in place, you accept their "flaws" because those are too insignificant relative to the connection you two have. Tropes are dangerous.
The definition of Love is simpler than many people think it is: It’s to take someone as part of yourself. I heard this definition from a RUclipsr and I think it makes sense. When you take someone as a part of you care about themselves as much as you would care about yourself. When there is a heart break it’s a split of the self and that’s why it hurts so much. Love is union. Love is inclusive.
For me, the ultimate definition of true love is my parents. I pray to God everyday that I find someone who’ll love me the way my Dad loves my Mom. Their relationship is so mature and beautiful. They understand each other wonderfully, they never criticise or chide the other for taking a step down for family, they never feel bad or separated or out of love when they aren’t able to spend time together constantly, because both of them know that deep down they still love each other deeply. They have their disagreements and fights, but they either sort them out peacefully or give each other some time. They have such playful romantic gestures and you can feel your heart become warm with emotions when you see them express their love with little things & gestures. I feel like this kind of love is highly underrated and rarely shown in the popular television or cinema, which makes today’s generation think that this kind of love is highly fantastical and impossible to achieve when in reality, this is the kind of love we all need. A love where you are free to think, believe and act. A love where you don’t have to live in constant fear of when your partner will leave you because of some mistake you made. A love where both of you know that no matter what stands between you, your feelings for each other will never diminish. I hope I can find that kind of love someday.
Sounds so peaceful and invigorating at the same time. You are extremely lucky in having such parents and I hope that you find the right person to replicate your parents' blessed love.
Just opposite to what my dad does. No wonder why me and my bro don't talk to him. We have forgiven him, we have stopped hating him, but we have no respect/sympathy for that person. 25 years of violence, aggression , bad words and slangs.
That was beautifully said, and I give you a blessing that you should find this love you seek… I did not have a good example to follow like you did, but I understand what you’re saying and I’m also trying to create that…
Love is when you (to quote another great RUclipsr) “recognize other’s complexity.” Every person one encounters has a story; problems, joys, family, friends, struggles, and victories. When you learn to see that you cannot see those things, you start to think differently about people and, in turn, act differently towards them
I like this - "recognize others' complexity". I think it would do us all good to extend this recognition to all sorts of people in your life, not just romantic partners. Where can I find the RUclipsr you quoted from?
Kintsugi the Japanese art of repairing pottery with gold. It makes the piece stronger, more valuable and more beautiful for having suffered. Love your brokenness
True Love is accepting your partner just as they are. not expecting to fit our preferences. Always learning and embracing the difference. I love playing Questions games like Lovify. And, it does help build understanding. Taking small steps towards better relationship and living dream life together 💗💗
Sure love is predicated on people fitting our preferences! If you accept your partner "just as they are" it often means you were very picky and filtered out traits they are NOT your preferences BEFORE you committed. Few know how to do that, some luck into it, some settle more or less consciously, many hide their true self that only emerges in time. Either way, those who can easily accept their partner exactly as is, have married someone compatible whose small differences from you make it easy to accept now. Anything more serious and it becomes very difficult for incompatible partners to accept each other "just the way they are." This is the case of most relationships.
I don’t necessarily believe that. I don’t love myself, I like myself sometimes but I’m human and make mistakes and hate myself sometimes. Despite all that thought, I love my daughter and husband more than my life itself and definitely love them more than myself. My love for them is what gives my life meaning. They make me like myself became I created this amazing family. They slowly take the darkness from my soul and replace it with light.
Mm. I think love would be closer to seeing someone for who they truly are and not for who you've decided they should be if they were what you think is their best.
Yes, but why would you do such a thing? Dirty Little Secret: because you saw their qualities FIRST and knew those are compatible with who you are and what you love. Let's not make humans more altruistic and saintly than they actually are. Love is PIES attraction (physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual) and when that is in place, people have little difficulty accepting the flaws that come with it. Why don't you try to accept the flaws of someone you are not attracted to the PIES way? By this logic, we should be able anyone in the street. Just pick someone randomly, and whatever faults they have, you can love them. Yeah, right.
@@roses6564 ???? nobody is perfect. expecting your partner to check all of your boxes is just unrealistic and selfish. loving someone is still wanting to be with them, feel comfortable with them, care for them, despite their flaws. that doesn't mean we should just pick up anybody on the street.
1Corintians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, does not get puffed up, 5 does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. 6 It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
@Shao Yu Mai Wang ....So if you needed surgery, do you go to someone who has great "thoughts" on surgery? If you needed car repairs, do you likewise go to someone with great thoughts? You probably would, I would not. Likewise I don't take lessons on love from a murderer
I think true love is to devote ourselves to grow not just for our own sake (true self-love) but for the sake of those we love (true love for others) and for the one we chose as our partner (true romantic love) with which we show our appreciation for the kindness they've given us, our willingness to carry as much of their own burden as we can and our willingness to always be of use to them when they need to grow themselves. We encourage growth, we forgive mistakes and moments of weakness. We forgive and accept the others flaws but true love isn't unconditional in my eyes as we picture it. True love for anyone including yourself is something naturally high in maintenance. It requires constant nurturing and attentiveness, it is constant work towards a better tomorrow for you and the other and once one stops it immediately starts decaying. Love only holds as long as we are willing to invest in it. Love is to learn to love over and over again and to reinvent what the other means to you.
True love within a relationship is an unbreakable bond. It’s something that develops over many years. I’ve been with my love for over 18 years since we were just 14 and in school. We’ve had many ups and downs and been through a lot but I can hand on heart now say I truly love him. I love him so much I would let him go if he needed to. He’s my lover, best friend and brother all at once. Even if we split I would still have love for him and want nothing but the best for him. I think too many people give up too early. I know people who’ve been married 3 times since we got together and their breakups were usually because they got bored. You can’t just give up because you’re bored, you have to ride the different cycles that happen in a relationship and realise it’s not going to be continuously perfect. Also whilst sex is important, realise that sex is just sometimes not a priority but it doesn’t mean you won’t get it back, besides one day you’ll be too old for it and the relationship will be based on other things like caring for one another.
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Most people encounter just a tiny bit of adversity and one of them unfortunately calls it quits right then. Definitely a rarity to see a woman who realizes what you do. I'm happy for you and you're partner. May you have a prosperous rest of your lives together as you co-op the journey of life.
In my opinion: You can only love someone in a healthy way if you love yourself in a healthy way. This is not narcissism, this is important to develop a healthy relationship with firstly yourself AND secondly your partner or other people in life. And also to prevent yourself from toxic things like relationships or toxic people in general. Because if you love yourself (to a healthy degree! Otherwise it tends to be a narcissistic self love) you know what or who is good for you and what or who is not. So love yourself!
Maybe there is no unhealthy degree of self love, but what we call "too much selflove" is really lust for oneself, and not love? The same way that lusting for another person majorly is not healthy, the same applies to us.
You can't have a relationship with yourself. But you can protect yourself and do things for yourself to make sure you're in a space to be able to give to others.
I am really thankful for this channel and the community it has created here on RUclips. Not only the videos, but even the comment section here is gold.
You know what I keeping telling my friends that we love flaws in a person not his beauty. Because anybody can live with what's good in a person but if you really want to live forever, you have to be comfortable be with their flaws. And that's why all the people of the world don't fall in love with one successful and handsome person but choose their own partners because everybody has their own understanding of flaws. Your video was like an affirmation to what I have been feeling since the time I started trying to understand life.
You are right but sometimes they don’t give us the chance to show them how much you do well I’m Darcie if you love to talk more about this you can text me 8786454418
This modern world is a shitshow. There are people who make it work in a good way but it's certainly the exception and not the norm. I know true love.....had it once in my life. But I despair to ever finding it again.
Ikr?! “Love yourself, he’s not good enough for you” bull. No. We all suck sometimes which is precisely why we need each other. There are rare times where you must choose yourself over another person, but out of love for the right thing.
Today's generation relationships are all about having fun , boozing, long rides and holiday trips. But when it comes to struggles, survival , go long through all the pain together, that's it, people lose interest and give up. It's like people love each other just to have fun. I believe true love is all about staying with your partner during his/her bad times and helping each other grow , not the other way around
"it is no insult to have to acknowledge that even though we inhabit a culture soaked in romanticism, we have problems understanding love and even though we have plenty of crushes and heard plenty of songs about love, we are still taking our first steps towards grasping what love might actually be"
Love involves uplifting your partner or whoever you love to the person that they want to be. Allowing people to be comfortable with themselves while also giving them the room to grow
@@volfegan makes perfect sense, I ran into the same problem myself. Some people feel as though it is a weak trait to show compassion to some people, especially if they feel that those peoples don't deserve it.
So the problem is not showing kindness and compassion. It is showing to people not deserving it. In a relationship, kindness and compassion are a requirement. But to build a relationship first it is needed trust. To trust everyone unconditionally and them love, kindness is to ask to be abused.
I've been there. it felt tiring like my whole loving soul been sucked out and never been replenished. taught myself not to be selfish but that wasn't the love i was hoping for.
Lina Pesz it’s a juxtaposition between the shallowness of feelings that compel someone to infatuate with someone else compared to the deep, bountiful sense of giving and sacrifice that plays a central role in truly loving relationships.
My favorite definition of love is the one I heard from Thich Nhat Hanh. I was just randomly wasting my time watching youtube videos until i clicked the oprahs interview with him. Love is being present. Seeing everything there is to see. And not judging it. This applies to love for you partner, your friends and family but also to love for yourself and love for the world around you
Even I will never be able to define what and how a true love is, but two things that I know: 1. You become yourself 2. He/she decides to stay in any conditions no matter what. It doesn't mean that becomes fool to stay in toxic relationship, but decides to fix it together with you. That's all I know and I think those two are enough, at least for me.
To me true love is being together while being separated. No boundary, counrty or blocks on the way cannot stop you from loving that person or understanding them in a very calm and delicate manner. Love is all about having another person's heart in your chest and treat them as you take care of yourself
The problem is you can’t force people to make sacrifices or care about other people through indoctrination. That is why religion doesn’t work. Love is a personal thing and has to be shown to people that way, one person at a time. So go love on somebody today and spread the love. 💯
I think religion doesnt force you to love. Love is choice... we cant love a whole world, but we can learn to love the nearest people around us. Forcing someone to love is not love but hypocracy. This my opinion, and sorry for my grammar.
All major religions teach these things, it's up to their followers to apply them or not. Professing to follow these religions isn't the same as truly following them. Many are religious for just cultural reasons, some seek power in religion, but most people go to religion as a sanctuary, seeking love to heal themselves, their relationships, and their society.
QUINJA this is exactly what I meant. I don’t have anything against religion itself. But it appears that more people would like to claim to be religious and indoctrinate their children in the name of religion due to cultural or social pressures. These actions create generations of people who are religious, but have no idea how to love anyone... hence the hypocrisy we see in MANY people who cal themselves religious today.
There is a strong current across this channel's videos that emphasize how recognizing our brokenness as individuals is essential for humanity to move forward and mature. Yet, so much of our efforts are focused on masking our brokenness. In our current culture, it seems to me that it takes great bravery to both accept and then admit our vulnerabilities.
"Love is to take something as part of yourself." - Teal Swan ♡ ...In a universe where everything is one, separation is just an illusion. Love unifies, fear separates. Therefore love means oneness. We are one.
Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, It is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
I think that much of the distress we feel when we're trying to figure out whether our partner is right for us arises from the fact that we often blame ourselves for the love we don't receive. When our partner disrespects us, we're bound to seek for reasons within ourselves, too. As soon as we realise that our lover is only human, we forgive ourselves, too.
Love is when you do for others as if they were yourself. If your partner has a need, fulfill it before they ask. If the dishes are dirty, wash them. If they like coffee before work, wake up fifteen minutes before they do, and have a fresh cup waiting. Can you sense something is bothering them? Cuddle or play time might be needed. They may just need an ear to talk to. Let them talk, do not speak of yourself until asked. They will return the favor. Are you aware of your hunger? They are hungry too, offer to feed them, or they might even want to cook with you. Bonding time! This shows that you have them on your mind at all times, and by being aware of their needs and meeting them, they will feel loved. Aren't you showing yourself love when you provide these things to yourself? So even better to do it for them because true love from another human being is what you seek, isnt it? We all are!
I’m afraid to tell you that in this video you’re talking about love as portrayed in the Bible: 1 Corinthians 13: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
You are right. But have you ever thought about the fact that, if 1 Cor 13 is right (and I am completely convinced it is), these qualities demand that love must be a self-contained, independent, sentient, living, spirit/entity? Look at them again. How can a concept hope for example? Only beings can do all of the things that are described here. You forgot love abides. When it arrives it unpacks its bags and takes up residence. I maintain that God pours, out of his infinite abundance, portions of his essence, specifically tailored to a need, which connects us to another/others, with the end purpose of captivating and reactivating the image in which we were created for our benefit and His glory.
Love is when you are more concerned for another's well being than your own. True love is when it is reciprocated and exceeds your own efforts, which is then reciprocated ever more so again. And again and again and again.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. It's very hard to explain to a lover but in fact I don't experience love in a possessive and exclusive way at all. I love life, plants, animals, trees, humans, furniture, songs, etc. I lust existence, autenticity. We are constantly exchanging warmth and understanding, we are constantly sharing ourselves with the world. I cannot restrain from that. I don't want to bound this huge force that is love to a few people. Sure, they can join, they are the happy receivers of a special manifestation of my love but not the only ones. It's sad that sometimes people don't understand my love so they don't receive properly. It's also sad when I interact with narcissists which consume my love in a wrong and wasteful way. I learned to withhold it in such cases but otherwise I think most of what I do - my work, activism, art, social interactions, etc. - is a manifestation of love. Beautiful video dear School of Life!
Exactly. I could not say that more eloquently. Some peoole are takers and some are givers and we have to remember to keep some band aides for ourselves. Its not selfish to do so.
Hello Georgiana, I’m sorry for the infringe on your comment, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
love to me is presence. love is not attachment, love is setting someone free. love is not ego, its pure and patient. love isn’t constricted by time or space, its simply an everlasting energy that stays with you, even when your not with the person. love is all within you. other people may be a catalyst for those feelings but ultimately if you are looking for love, you have found it, because it is you❤️
@@fromchopin I doubt that because a man will love me and respect as long as I’m loyal and good to him, the minute I do something wrong he won’t love me vs a parents loves you no matter what.
@@geetakharel4471 unfortunately I think that’s true of most men (and women) ..but if I ever find my soul mate nothing she does will be wrong in my eyes.. and even if she does do something wrong (which everyone does because humans aren’t perfect) it won’t make any difference to me, I’ll look past any mistake & keep loving her like nothing ever happened because that’s what true love is all about,
Yess parents love is the greatest. Purest form of love is one of sacrifice even in romantic love or platonic love thier needs to be higher form of love. As our parents sacrife so much for thier childrens without thinking about themselves is the unconditional love so the higest form of love is the one of committment, uncoditionl love and sacrifice.
@@fromchopin always easier said than done….if your wife falls in love with someone else in your marriage and leaves you for him you will probably not love her anymore.
I can feel charitable, imaginative, show and experience kindness, forgiveness, be loyal... all of them and still! to me the exclusive love for a specific person comprises all of them but it's also so so so much more and different and larger and sweeter.
Hello Matilda, I’m sorry for the infringe on your comment, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends?? Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😉
Can you please do a video on social anxiety and how to overcome it? It's a condition which is debilitating to a large group of people to the point that they can never seek help because it would mean talking to someone. But it is also an infliction which effects everyone to a different degree; studies show that the most common fear after death is public speaking. It's a shame that we don't know much about this condition and more so, how to overcome it. So many young people commit suicide because they are so afraid to live and be amongst others. To reach out. To talk. To share. Please grace us with a video on this subject matter
Listen , I totally hear you. I was in the same boat for a long time, in the end I tried counselling and it helped me big time. I'd recommend you give it a shot !!
I have social anxiety and have no real friends or someone to help me. Watching "tips" on the internet to overcome it could only go so far. I do not gets depressed yet but I gets sad from time to time.
The only point I had issue with is the reason religious people neglect the deeper meaning of love is not because Jesus presented it wrong, but because us idiot humans misunderstood him. But yes, the majority's understanding of biblical love has been left lacking, either from laziness of each generation or from intentional misleading of the public by religious leaders. Maybe both.
I saw this video for the first time over a year ago. I saved it, and had been periodically rewatching it to remind myself. It's been about 6 months since I've properly watched it again from start to finish. and here I am in 2021, after all thats been going on, crying having heard these words again. We all desperately need to hear this and be reminded of it if we want to stand a chance and heal.
This is truly a masterpiece! It is a life saving lesson! This one, and the one called " I am going to die" are my favourites from this wonderful channel. Here are a couple of thoughts: 1. If I had the chance to give two books to everybody in this world, they would be: - Just Mercy, by Bryan Stevenson - The Consolations of Philosophy, by Alain de Botton The first one is all about compassion, forgiveness and mercy and the second one is all about understanding ourselves and finding consolation. A person who integrates all the insights from these two books into his life can only become a very loving, generous and caring person. I wish we all could... What I loved the most from this lesson is the expression " sorrowful gentleness". These books can really teach us how to get there and stay there. 2. Once Alain said on an interview something that I never forgot since then: " Judgement is a lack of imagination". Well, imagine your worst enemy. Personally I have no enemies but I am very scared of Neo Nazis here and sometimes I have a hard time reminding myself of our shared humanity. But here is what happenned: There is an incredible German movie called " Kriegerin" . The title in English is "Combat Girls." It won many awards. It is about a young girl who is a very convinced, violent and active member of a neo nazi gang. At the beginning of the movie you really hate her. Just watch the trailer, you will know what I mean. But in the end , after two hours of watching her life and how and why she ended up there, you can't stop crying for her. I certainly couldn't . Poor girl... It took me ages to fall asleep after that and the next morning I woke up with a herpes on my lip. All this because of someone I would consider " my enemy"..In the end, I realised that "had I lived her life, I could perfectly be her." If we had the chance to see a short movie about the childhood of any person we hate, we would probably end up loving that person.. 3. I love this quote by Bryan Stevenson too: “I understood that even as we are caught in a web of hurt and brokenness, we’re also in a web of healing and mercy…The power of just mercy is that it belongs to the UNDESERVING. It’s when mercy is least expected that it’s most potent - strong enough to break the cycle of victimization and victimhood, retribution and suffering " 4. I confess I often feel totally " claustrophobic" when I hear love songs that talk about " romantic love". Because understandably, there is no HOPE in them. But friends from Brasil, do you remember the song " Amor é pra quem ama" by Lenine? It is a song about love in its most profound and healing sense. About the kind of love I wish we could feel for everyone: "Amor é pra quem ama Amor matéria-prima A chama O sumo A soma O tema Amor é pra quem vive Amor que não prescreve Eterno Terno Pleno Insano Luz do sol da noite escura "qualquer amor já é um pouquinho de saúde um descanso na loucura"
Love sounds complacent, naive, and unwilling or unable to delineate between what is valued, and what is not. Love, I’d surmise, is the proverbial frog being slowly boiled alive. Love risks being the victim who bleeds out from a thousand paper cuts, and never marshals the will to punch back. Without mutual trust, earned respect, and equal reciprocity, love is a door mat.
“Why can’t we give love that one more chance cause loves such and old fashioned word and love dares you to care for the people of the edge of the night and love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves” - Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie
i 100% agree with this concept, and more and more people should practice it, the only problem is to find that sweet spot, when you know when to walk away if the relationship is toxic. people tend to use people who are filled with that kind of love.
And all these wonderful qualities should be reciprocated too, there should be equality in love, not just one person doing all the kindness, support, etc. In friendships too.
Now I know that even if I wanted to be her friend again, I couldnt. The reason I cut her out was bc she is transphobic and said some nasty things about my genderfluid ex, then gf. I recently came out as genderfluid/non binary myself, and she would...kind of hate me for who I am now
The part of “charity” is so true! I really liked the fact that love is about not looking at the strength but getting deep into the “disgusting” parts of the other. Anyway, I find contradictory that the video implicitly attacks Jesus’ ways even though they show the quality of “kindness” (for sinners specially). That last philosophy was part of Jesus’ guidance... And no, I’m not even Christian, I’m agnostic.
you can witness true love by observing visitors at a cemetary. there will always be 100% open honesty& dignity. when i visit my own loved ones at the cemetary , i give a thought to the others who happen to drop by while im there.
Love is subjective to everyone, the definition is dependent on the person, and as you know, no one person thinks the same as you. Someone may love to cause destruction to others through physical or mental abuse, while another may love their pet cat. Love doesn't make sense because humans are irrational.
Victoria Porsiempre Even though you are sick and tired of them, and may be right that it isn't the kind of love the video gets at, try to be kind, patient, and love them.
Love is being the most vulnerable you can be. Love is never giving up. Love is treating their feelings as if they’re your own. Love is knowing they’ll always be there for you. Love is sharing the most intimate details of your life. Love is knowing you couldn’t live your life without them. And love is painful, love is fragile. Love is the meaning of life, love is for what you live for.
I didn't understand love till I'm mature enough to realize how love is, as I'm lucky to receive unconditional love from my mother and now I learn how to love another, and everything on this Earth!
I think true love is genuinely hoping the others (might it be lover, friends, family members) to be happy and well, even if that means parting ways and live on separately. No hatred, no cursing their dooms, no bad mouthing. Maybe there's tears for things couldn't work out. But it all ends with wishing the other to live well.
To love someone means 1: to accept their limitations and fragilities. 2: to provide them a secure space where they can freely express and thrive with their vulnerabilities. 3: to help them see their potential and the growth they can do.
In the bible there are 9 fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I'm aware this is a secular video but a lot of these Christian points collide with the points of this video, so I thought this will be helpful.
No matter how much you love someone and how much you’re willing to do for them, they aren’t obligated to have the same feelings towards you. It’s hard, but that’s life and we have to move on and learn from that.
Amazing video. Empathy is one of the best ways to show you love someone. So underrated! Putting yourself in the shoes of the other person makes you so much closer. Thanks for the video.
What do you think of our seven ingredients of love? Let us know your own in the comments below and sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: bit.ly/2LayJ9F
It's great. I think perspective would've been another good quality.
This was really well done and can't be stressed enough as a positive message. Thank you.
hi, can you fix the english sub?
I truly LOVE this video and ideas! thank you! :-)
My heart is broke open. Thank you.
Love is not the fire that burns deeply when you first meet,
it's the small flame that remains when everything has burned down during the years...
What if it's both? Without a fire burning deeply at some point, there will be no small fire later.
And that's never going to happen because she'll have taken the kids and the house and will be onto the next stud before it's all burned down!;)
@@zimfan101 Are you still 15 years of age emperor?
@@zimfan101 She may or she may not. It's on you to make a selection you can bet on. You also forget women age - and at a faster rate than men. Do you really think it's that easy to up and go to the next stud when you are no longer prime merchandise? Those 'studs' you fear have their own specific pool of eligibles and women past their prime dragging kids behind them are not in that pool. Don't panic, just select wisely.
@@zimfan101 p0ppppM
"When you love someone, you treat their heart like it was your own." -6lack
Beautiful
Isn't it what Jesus told about Love ? Duh !!
@@hasrethelenelindbekk5124 do you mind lending me your heart for a bit? I'm trying to learn something
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
better than, a lot better than.
True love is when you love yourself, don’t attach your happiness in others & having the courage to let things go knowing it can come back or leave.
I agreed with u
I love this reply, everyone has their own journey and should start to find happiness within. :)
👏👏👏👏🖤
No, that's narcissism. It is impossible to love yourself.
i want to learn this for my own personal good cuz i get hurt by attaching too much on other people...
And thats only half of it. The real challenge is being loved back. Many people dislike themselves so fiercely, that they cannot deal with being loved, and actually devalue a person who is kind to them as naive, blind or desperate. Why else would they love someone so deeply flawed as us
This is so true. Sadly you often can't see it.
The only possibility of change lies within ourselves.
they made a video saying this and it’s absolutely true
What if they are right to dislike themselves? Some people are realists. Beyond ego, they know they suck on certain levels. They know where their objective market value is, so they correctly dislike themselves. It's a vicious cycle and a heart-breaking situation.
This
One of my favorite quotes about love is “Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
This means everything to me thank you for sharing this
Interesting!
Truth ♥️♥️♥️
Yes! This is it!
Please do watch this video: ruclips.net/video/qN9LKid-fnQ/видео.html
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Amen
Preach
So ironic that they would quickly dismiss Jesus not realizing they were basically preaching what he preached.
On point
thirtythreeflavors exactly. Jesus is Love because God is Love. Jesus is God personified. Love is all that there is because God is all that there is. If more people took the time to study and follow the true meaning of this, the love in this world would flow in abundance. Yet, here we are wanting to learn about love but quick to deny its exact origin.
I always love the quote (either of Plato's or Philo's), "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
Norm Babbitt you have not met assholes. They are born assholes and have no “hard battles”. So, I believe in “be kind to those who deserve it”
Thank you for replying. But I do disagree. Alienation from authenticity of self deserves compassion (and one must be severely alienated in order to do harm to or to curse others or oneself). Compassion and kindness does not mean not stopping one from self harm or harm of others. Otherwise we just add insult to injury and find ways to justify, match and promulgate "social justice warrior" insanity. This is my view.
Drake Drones people that could be considered assholes are like this because of battles in their lives. They most likely have been nurtured into this behaviour, which is a hard battle in itself because life is more difficult for them too. Everyone should be respected, regardless of their behaviour. If you say that they are not deserving of your compassion because they are assholes then you have sunk yourself to their level.
I try but sometimes my battles overpower me🙂👍
Me, too!
“You do not give love, you grow in love.” - Leo Buscaglia
Hi Alexandra... Wow, quoting the man whom I followed in coming to grasp Love... This is one of the most powerful understandings... Kinda linked to your's:
“To try is to risk failure… But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow … but they simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, live and Love (!)” - Leo Busgalia.
Bless you in your journey and growth.
@AA K OH, so there are others that get this? Not only me... so instead of being gravely endangered, I am simply isolated? In that case I will keep calling...
That was beautiful.
889th one
Truth is... Love is imperfect. Think about your parents: their love is immense, probably they'd do everything for you. Still, sometimes they make mistakes, they hurt you, etc... But at the end of the day, they do love you, they care about you, they want to see you happy. That's true love for me: when you want to see the other person happy, no matter what
Lol, not all parents
Man I don't know if my parents care about me or not. I'd like to think my mom cares about me but I feel like she's subtly manipulating me.
If you’re lucky to have good parents. Not everyone gets that gift
@@rakata1987 My thoughts exactly. I feel the same.
Some parents are trash
That doesnt mean to walk back to the toxic person you decided to leave.
💯
Taking the time to wonder what made them toxic in the first place is LOVE
Yeah I’m in a situation where I’ve tried for years to love my friend unconditionally but I’m noticing that I’m not happy and stressed. Videos like this confuse me cause I’ve done all of this but when do you set the boundaries?
@@biancahargrett7119 If a person repeatedly makes you choose between them and your peace of mind choose yourself. Love is not suffering.
nyleve101 True love is suffering . It’s like God watching you sin knowing you are hurting yourself but you have free will . It’s like Vanessa Bryant wanting to give up hope but she has to be strong for her remaining children yet she is suffering. It’s never giving up hope for your child who is a drug addict. The fact of the matter is EVER PERSON is TOXIC in they own way . Period
You left out the main ingredient of love. Communication, Transparency, Acceptance and Honesty
So true✌🏽💗💗💗💗💗✔️🆗🤓☮️💞💞💞💞💞
Don't forget trust.
Then you are defining a relationship not love, but u right it’s very important
@@richardsmith7696 We were friends, Richard, until you asked my for $3000.00 this past August. Don't you remember, Richard? If that's your real name. So, no, not anymore. Please try to scam someone else. Have a good day!
@@evamarek5205 he was never a friend
1. Charity
2. Imagination
3. Kindness
4. Forgiveness
5. Loyalty
6. Generosity
7. Patience
Take care ❤
Kindness is an underrated quality!
Unfortunately, kindness garners no respect nowadays, especially from women. Nowadays, it's all about who can cut who's throat the fastest, or how skillfully someone can stab someone else in the back without getting caught.
The problem with kindness is that people can abuse it. To be kind to everyone is asking to be abused at some point. People will extort kind people, and that is why kindness is such a rare commodity.
Exactly. Women will label you as a "nice guy", and narcissistic people will use you like a door mat.
they are always humiliated by society and peers.
@Michealjay True kindness stems from self love, and warrants boundaries. All secure relationships require boundaries. If you feel as though your boundaries are being violated and continue the relationship without communicating the violations, it is no longer a secure relationship. If you are true to your self and respect your own boundaries, you can be as kind as humanly possible without fear. Their violation of your kindness is on them. Love cannot be sustained with someone who doesn't love themselves first anyway.
True love is charity 1:51, imagination 2:44, kindness 3:15, forgiveness 3:57, loyalty 4:25, generosity 4:43, and patience 5:00.
Bean Uasal thanks i really need this
@@wmil7315, you're welcome, :)
Many of these are the beatitudes
True love is actually absolute self-sacrifice, it contains everything you listed within it.
@Operator Delta18 Exactly
"you like someone because, you love somone despite"
😌
@@darthvader1793 i think it means when you like someone you usually like them BECAUSE they (for example) pretty, smart, athletic, etc. but when you love someone, you accept their weakness, you love them DESPITE their coldness, how long they take to reply, how busy they are, how far they live, etc. but i haven't been in love so this is just my opinion
So beautiful
+
Not true. You love someone BECAUSE they are compatible with you and you have a connection with them - so it's "because."
Once that's in place, you accept their "flaws" because those are too insignificant relative to the connection you two have.
Tropes are dangerous.
I think true love is when two people get along like best friends.
Couldn't agree more. The passion always dies, so to stay together, you need to be with your bestfriend ❤
UNLEASHING POTENTIAL - PSYCHOLOGY VIDEOS forreal dude. My friend and her boyfriend act like best friends they do everything together
I like pancakes
@@plastictaste9423 I love your comment but I also love my Art supplies in the same way.
It's not good enough to fill the spot
archischnect me too
The definition of Love is simpler than many people think it is: It’s to take someone as part of yourself. I heard this definition from a RUclipsr and I think it makes sense. When you take someone as a part of you care about themselves as much as you would care about yourself. When there is a heart break it’s a split of the self and that’s why it hurts so much. Love is union. Love is inclusive.
Enrrique Chinchilla Oh my God that is so beautiful and feels so right
Love is to cherish the freedom of someone else.
You're right. "The two shall become one flesh." "He who loves his wife loves himself." (Bible statements.)
Woah. 🌷
This kind of love is more like self-interest and narcissism.
For me, the ultimate definition of true love is my parents. I pray to God everyday that I find someone who’ll love me the way my Dad loves my Mom. Their relationship is so mature and beautiful. They understand each other wonderfully, they never criticise or chide the other for taking a step down for family, they never feel bad or separated or out of love when they aren’t able to spend time together constantly, because both of them know that deep down they still love each other deeply. They have their disagreements and fights, but they either sort them out peacefully or give each other some time. They have such playful romantic gestures and you can feel your heart become warm with emotions when you see them express their love with little things & gestures. I feel like this kind of love is highly underrated and rarely shown in the popular television or cinema, which makes today’s generation think that this kind of love is highly fantastical and impossible to achieve when in reality, this is the kind of love we all need. A love where you are free to think, believe and act. A love where you don’t have to live in constant fear of when your partner will leave you because of some mistake you made. A love where both of you know that no matter what stands between you, your feelings for each other will never diminish. I hope I can find that kind of love someday.
Sounds so peaceful and invigorating at the same time. You are extremely lucky in having such parents and I hope that you find the right person to replicate your parents' blessed love.
Sounds like my mom and they have been married for 20 plus years now
Just opposite to what my dad does. No wonder why me and my bro don't talk to him. We have forgiven him, we have stopped hating him, but we have no respect/sympathy for that person. 25 years of violence, aggression , bad words and slangs.
I found it!
That was beautifully said, and I give you a blessing that you should find this love you seek… I did not have a good example to follow like you did, but I understand what you’re saying and I’m also trying to create that…
Love is when you (to quote another great RUclipsr) “recognize other’s complexity.” Every person one encounters has a story; problems, joys, family, friends, struggles, and victories. When you learn to see that you cannot see those things, you start to think differently about people and, in turn, act differently towards them
I like this - "recognize others' complexity".
I think it would do us all good to extend this recognition to all sorts of people in your life, not just romantic partners.
Where can I find the RUclipsr you quoted from?
Yes, it’s from John Green. This is a concept he talks about quite a bit and I find it very insightful
Nice. Anything that requires a bit of empathy is sure to help foster love ❤️
Exactly my thoughts...
Janzie abram & Emma Roeske -- thanks guys!
Kintsugi the Japanese art of repairing pottery with gold. It makes the piece stronger, more valuable and more beautiful for having suffered. Love your brokenness
:o
Why did i found this beautiful?
Thank you for reminding me of this
Diane has entered the chat
Black Weirdo she’s from Bojack Horseman, she mentioned this in an episode
True Love is accepting your partner just as they are. not expecting to fit our preferences. Always learning and embracing the difference. I love playing Questions games like Lovify. And, it does help build understanding. Taking small steps towards better relationship and living dream life together 💗💗
Sure love is predicated on people fitting our preferences! If you accept your partner "just as they are" it often means you were very picky and filtered out traits they are NOT your preferences BEFORE you committed.
Few know how to do that, some luck into it, some settle more or less consciously, many hide their true self that only emerges in time.
Either way, those who can easily accept their partner exactly as is, have married someone compatible whose small differences from you make it easy to accept now. Anything more serious and it becomes very difficult for incompatible partners to accept each other "just the way they are." This is the case of most relationships.
True Love = (True Self-Love) + (True Love of Others). You need both, everything he said needs to apply to you as much as anyone else
I totally agree with you. In my opinion, it is the best definition of love. I add also forgiveness is a major key to know what it is.
I don’t necessarily believe that. I don’t love myself, I like myself sometimes but I’m human and make mistakes and hate myself sometimes. Despite all that thought, I love my daughter and husband more than my life itself and definitely love them more than myself. My love for them is what gives my life meaning. They make me like myself became I created this amazing family. They slowly take the darkness from my soul and replace it with light.
I agree I think we love ourselves through others loving us. Not sure how self love works without this 😅 I’m alone now so will have to learn??
"Love is wanting more for someone than they want for themselves"
Sounds more like codependency to me
Mm. I think love would be closer to seeing someone for who they truly are and not for who you've decided they should be if they were what you think is their best.
Absolutely 💯 💯
@@musa2775 I think they mean you should always want what’s best for your partner
@@Zukunft-Wohngemeinschaft no because you only want what’s best for your partner so you give and give
Loving someone is knowing their faults and still choosing them.
So true
Yes, but why would you do such a thing?
Dirty Little Secret: because you saw their qualities FIRST and knew those are compatible with who you are and what you love. Let's not make humans more altruistic and saintly than they actually are. Love is PIES attraction (physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual) and when that is in place, people have little difficulty accepting the flaws that come with it.
Why don't you try to accept the flaws of someone you are not attracted to the PIES way? By this logic, we should be able anyone in the street. Just pick someone randomly, and whatever faults they have, you can love them. Yeah, right.
@@roses6564 ???? nobody is perfect. expecting your partner to check all of your boxes is just unrealistic and selfish. loving someone is still wanting to be with them, feel comfortable with them, care for them, despite their flaws. that doesn't mean we should just pick up anybody on the street.
1Corintians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, does not get puffed up, 5 does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. 6 It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
The writer of those words had none of those traits
@Shao Yu Mai Wang true...those words are from inspiration of Jehovah God not me.
@Shao Yu Mai Wang ....Because thoughts and actions are both important matters
@Shao Yu Mai Wang ....So if you needed surgery, do you go to someone who has great "thoughts" on surgery? If you needed car repairs, do you likewise go to someone with great thoughts? You probably would, I would not. Likewise I don't take lessons on love from a murderer
^just words composed by 'thoughts'.
I think true love is to devote ourselves to grow not just for our own sake (true self-love) but for the sake of those we love (true love for others) and for the one we chose as our partner (true romantic love) with which we show our appreciation for the kindness they've given us, our willingness to carry as much of their own burden as we can and our willingness to always be of use to them when they need to grow themselves. We encourage growth, we forgive mistakes and moments of weakness.
We forgive and accept the others flaws but true love isn't unconditional in my eyes as we picture it.
True love for anyone including yourself is something naturally high in maintenance.
It requires constant nurturing and attentiveness, it is constant work towards a better tomorrow for you and the other and once one stops it immediately starts decaying.
Love only holds as long as we are willing to invest in it.
Love is to learn to love over and over again and to reinvent what the other means to you.
I think what you described is unconditional love. Conditional love means for example if one only loves the other if the other behaves as one wishes
So the condition of the 'love' is to behave a certain way. If the love is unconditional you dont expect them to behave like you want them to
Beautifully said
I feel like I floated to heaven after reading this. So beautifully expressed 💞
True love within a relationship is an unbreakable bond. It’s something that develops over many years.
I’ve been with my love for over 18 years since we were just 14 and in school.
We’ve had many ups and downs and been through a lot but I can hand on heart now say I truly love him.
I love him so much I would let him go if he needed to. He’s my lover, best friend and brother all at once. Even if we split I would still have love for him and want nothing but the best for him.
I think too many people give up too early.
I know people who’ve been married 3 times since we got together and their breakups were usually because they got bored. You can’t just give up because you’re bored, you have to ride the different cycles that happen in a relationship and realise it’s not going to be continuously perfect.
Also whilst sex is important, realise that sex is just sometimes not a priority but it doesn’t mean you won’t get it back, besides one day you’ll be too old for it and the relationship will be based on other things like caring for one another.
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I always read your comment every once in a while and I always realise how invaluable this comment seems to stand in the test of time. ❤
Most people encounter just a tiny bit of adversity and one of them unfortunately calls it quits right then. Definitely a rarity to see a woman who realizes what you do. I'm happy for you and you're partner. May you have a prosperous rest of your lives together as you co-op the journey of life.
Love is accepting one’s partner in all their shortcomings while encouraging their growth.
Do you think we should accept domestic violence?
i'm so inlove with the animation of this video. it seems so gentle, if that makes any sense.
Consuelo Quiñones it’s absolutely beautiful and touches every warm corner of the heart❤️
In my opinion: You can only love someone in a healthy way if you love yourself in a healthy way. This is not narcissism, this is important to develop a healthy relationship with firstly yourself AND secondly your partner or other people in life. And also to prevent yourself from toxic things like relationships or toxic people in general. Because if you love yourself (to a healthy degree! Otherwise it tends to be a narcissistic self love) you know what or who is good for you and what or who is not. So love yourself!
Hell yeah, Paula. THATS IT !!
Maybe there is no unhealthy degree of self love, but what we call "too much selflove" is really lust for oneself, and not love? The same way that lusting for another person majorly is not healthy, the same applies to us.
You can't have a relationship with yourself. But you can protect yourself and do things for yourself to make sure you're in a space to be able to give to others.
I am really thankful for this channel and the community it has created here on RUclips. Not only the videos, but even the comment section here is gold.
You know what I keeping telling my friends that we love flaws in a person not his beauty. Because anybody can live with what's good in a person but if you really want to live forever, you have to be comfortable be with their flaws. And that's why all the people of the world don't fall in love with one successful and handsome person but choose their own partners because everybody has their own understanding of flaws.
Your video was like an affirmation to what I have been feeling since the time I started trying to understand life.
To feel love is easy,
To feel loved is hard,
But to actually love is in-between.
"Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be." - Anton Chekhov
You are right but sometimes they don’t give us the chance to show them how much you do well I’m Darcie if you love to talk more about this you can text me 8786454418
@Hélia Alves yes
What is love?
Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me.
No more.
Du du du du.
Du!
Du du du du.
Du!
Du du du du.
Du! du
What is love?
thijsjong, all you need is love, love, love is all you need
I scrolled way too much to find this comment
Love that song!
I want no other, no other lover ...
Head bobs
"Love is the willingness to give"
And it is giving all those traits above 🧡
isn't giving what made Bernie madoff and his family filthy rich? 🤔
Right, but first you must believe you have things of value to give.
Love is tough in the modern world because everybody is fickle. No patience, just selfishness. That's the mantra for us.
Yep I think people are to flawed to really love someone
This modern world is a shitshow. There are people who make it work in a good way but it's certainly the exception and not the norm. I know true love.....had it once in my life. But I despair to ever finding it again.
Ikr?! “Love yourself, he’s not good enough for you” bull. No. We all suck sometimes which is precisely why we need each other.
There are rare times where you must choose yourself over another person, but out of love for the right thing.
Not everyone, but most people tragically yes. The modern world for relationships is such a tragic, callous, and needlessly superficial place.
You like someone because... and you love someone even though 💕
Brilliant
Nice
@@WesTV really
Today's generation relationships are all about having fun , boozing, long rides and holiday trips. But when it comes to struggles, survival , go long through all the pain together, that's it, people lose interest and give up. It's like people love each other just to have fun. I believe true love is all about staying with your partner during his/her bad times and helping each other grow , not the other way around
"it is no insult to have to acknowledge that even though we inhabit a culture soaked in romanticism, we have problems understanding love and even though we have plenty of crushes and heard plenty of songs about love, we are still taking our first steps towards grasping what love might actually be"
7 Constituent Keys of Love
1. Charity
2. Imagination
3. Kindness
4. Forgiveness
5. Loyalty
6. Generosity
7. Patience
Love involves uplifting your partner or whoever you love to the person that they want to be. Allowing people to be comfortable with themselves while also giving them the room to grow
That’s patience
This is so true. I left a relationship because I felt abnormal for being too kind and loving so unconditionally.
This answer does not make any sense.
@@volfegan makes perfect sense, I ran into the same problem myself. Some people feel as though it is a weak trait to show compassion to some people, especially if they feel that those peoples don't deserve it.
So the problem is not showing kindness and compassion. It is showing to people not deserving it. In a relationship, kindness and compassion are a requirement. But to build a relationship first it is needed trust. To trust everyone unconditionally and them love, kindness is to ask to be abused.
@@volfegan It is not to ask to be abused, but it does allow it unfortunately.
I've been there. it felt tiring like my whole loving soul been sucked out and never been replenished. taught myself not to be selfish but that wasn't the love i was hoping for.
"Love is Selfish, True Love is Sacrificial." -Desolo Zantas
I thought it should be '' selfless ''....selfish does not make sense...
Lina Pesz it makes perfect sense
Lina Pesz it’s a juxtaposition between the shallowness of feelings that compel someone to infatuate with someone else compared to the deep, bountiful sense of giving and sacrifice that plays a central role in truly loving relationships.
Charity, imagimation, kindness, forgiveness, loyalty, generosity, patience.
My favorite definition of love is the one I heard from Thich Nhat Hanh. I was just randomly wasting my time watching youtube videos until i clicked the oprahs interview with him. Love is being present. Seeing everything there is to see. And not judging it. This applies to love for you partner, your friends and family but also to love for yourself and love for the world around you
Even I will never be able to define what and how a true love is, but two things that I know:
1. You become yourself
2. He/she decides to stay in any conditions no matter what. It doesn't mean that becomes fool to stay in toxic relationship, but decides to fix it together with you.
That's all I know and I think those two are enough, at least for me.
Please do watch this video: ruclips.net/video/qN9LKid-fnQ/видео.html
To me true love is being together while being separated. No boundary, counrty or blocks on the way cannot stop you from loving that person or understanding them in a very calm and delicate manner. Love is all about having another person's heart in your chest and treat them as you take care of yourself
Love? Relationships? Friendship is so underrated.
but friendship is a type of love
Friendship is love. Love is more than romance
"Romance is friendship on fire"
The problem is you can’t force people to make sacrifices or care about other people through indoctrination. That is why religion doesn’t work. Love is a personal thing and has to be shown to people that way, one person at a time. So go love on somebody today and spread the love. 💯
I think religion doesnt force you to love. Love is choice... we cant love a whole world, but we can learn to love the nearest people around us. Forcing someone to love is not love but hypocracy. This my opinion, and sorry for my grammar.
Religion doesn't force anything to you. Only it's believer force it to other people.
Moses Emmet Not that religion forces any of that. It does quite the opposite. The big three spread more hate than they do love and well-being.
All major religions teach these things, it's up to their followers to apply them or not. Professing to follow these religions isn't the same as truly following them. Many are religious for just cultural reasons, some seek power in religion, but most people go to religion as a sanctuary, seeking love to heal themselves, their relationships, and their society.
QUINJA this is exactly what I meant. I don’t have anything against religion itself. But it appears that more people would like to claim to be religious and indoctrinate their children in the name of religion due to cultural or social pressures. These actions create generations of people who are religious, but have no idea how to love anyone... hence the hypocrisy we see in MANY people who cal themselves religious today.
There is a strong current across this channel's videos that emphasize how recognizing our brokenness as individuals is essential for humanity to move forward and mature. Yet, so much of our efforts are focused on masking our brokenness. In our current culture, it seems to me that it takes great bravery to both accept and then admit our vulnerabilities.
"Love is to take something as part of yourself." - Teal Swan ♡
...In a universe where everything is one, separation is just an illusion. Love unifies, fear separates. Therefore love means oneness. We are one.
Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, It is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
Love is an idea that can't be explain fully. It's something unreachable but yet so comforting.
I think that much of the distress we feel when we're trying to figure out whether our partner is right for us arises from the fact that we often blame ourselves for the love we don't receive. When our partner disrespects us, we're bound to seek for reasons within ourselves, too. As soon as we realise that our lover is only human, we forgive ourselves, too.
Love is when you do for others as if they were yourself. If your partner has a need, fulfill it before they ask. If the dishes are dirty, wash them. If they like coffee before work, wake up fifteen minutes before they do, and have a fresh cup waiting.
Can you sense something is bothering them? Cuddle or play time might be needed. They may just need an ear to talk to. Let them talk, do not speak of yourself until asked. They will return the favor.
Are you aware of your hunger? They are hungry too, offer to feed them, or they might even want to cook with you. Bonding time! This shows that you have them on your mind at all times, and by being aware of their needs and meeting them, they will feel loved. Aren't you showing yourself love when you provide these things to yourself? So even better to do it for them because true love from another human being is what you seek, isnt it? We all are!
I wonder if you are on a different planet iii
@@esmaeilheravi4509 seems like u r though
I’m afraid to tell you that in this video you’re talking about love as portrayed in the Bible: 1 Corinthians 13:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Thank you
Punto per punto
You are right.
But have you ever thought about the fact that, if 1 Cor 13 is right (and I am completely convinced it is), these qualities demand that love must be a self-contained, independent, sentient, living, spirit/entity? Look at them again. How can a concept hope for example? Only beings can do all of the things that are described here.
You forgot love abides. When it arrives it unpacks its bags and takes up residence.
I maintain that God pours, out of his infinite abundance, portions of his essence, specifically tailored to a need, which connects us to another/others, with the end purpose of captivating and reactivating the image in which we were created for our benefit and His glory.
@@geoaffleck and its easier to judge the bible which there really is nothing to just question and be given answers.
Because you only read the Bible.
Love is when you are more concerned for another's well being than your own. True love is when it is reciprocated and exceeds your own efforts, which is then reciprocated ever more so again. And again and again and again.
brnt034 beautiful description.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. It's very hard to explain to a lover but in fact I don't experience love in a possessive and exclusive way at all. I love life, plants, animals, trees, humans, furniture, songs, etc. I lust existence, autenticity. We are constantly exchanging warmth and understanding, we are constantly sharing ourselves with the world. I cannot restrain from that. I don't want to bound this huge force that is love to a few people. Sure, they can join, they are the happy receivers of a special manifestation of my love but not the only ones.
It's sad that sometimes people don't understand my love so they don't receive properly. It's also sad when I interact with narcissists which consume my love in a wrong and wasteful way. I learned to withhold it in such cases but otherwise I think most of what I do - my work, activism, art, social interactions, etc. - is a manifestation of love.
Beautiful video dear School of Life!
Exactly. I could not say that more eloquently.
Some peoole are takers and some are givers and we have to remember to keep some band aides for ourselves. Its not selfish to do so.
Hello Georgiana, I’m sorry for the infringe on your comment, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
love to me is presence. love is not attachment, love is setting someone free. love is not ego, its pure and patient. love isn’t constricted by time or space, its simply an everlasting energy that stays with you, even when your not with the person. love is all within you. other people may be a catalyst for those feelings but ultimately if you are looking for love, you have found it, because it is you❤️
True love for me is the love my parents have for me. They don’t expect anything but my well-being. Love of a parent is a true love.
There’s a guy out there who will love you unconditionally too.
True love understands that there are differences but love those differences anyway.
@@fromchopin I doubt that because a man will love me and respect as long as I’m loyal and good to him, the minute I do something wrong he won’t love me vs a parents loves you no matter what.
@@geetakharel4471 unfortunately I think that’s true of most men (and women) ..but if I ever find my soul mate nothing she does will be wrong in my eyes.. and even if she does do something wrong (which everyone does because humans aren’t perfect) it won’t make any difference to me, I’ll look past any mistake & keep loving her like nothing ever happened because that’s what true love is all about,
Yess parents love is the greatest. Purest form of love is one of sacrifice even in romantic love or platonic love thier needs to be higher form of love. As our parents sacrife so much for thier childrens without thinking about themselves is the unconditional love so the higest form of love is the one of committment, uncoditionl love and sacrifice.
@@fromchopin always easier said than done….if your wife falls in love with someone else in your marriage and leaves you for him you will probably not love her anymore.
I can feel charitable, imaginative, show and experience kindness, forgiveness, be loyal... all of them and still! to me the exclusive love for a specific person comprises all of them but it's also so so so much more and different and larger and sweeter.
Hello Matilda, I’m sorry for the infringe on your comment, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😉
Can you please do a video on social anxiety and how to overcome it? It's a condition which is debilitating to a large group of people to the point that they can never seek help because it would mean talking to someone. But it is also an infliction which effects everyone to a different degree; studies show that the most common fear after death is public speaking. It's a shame that we don't know much about this condition and more so, how to overcome it. So many young people commit suicide because they are so afraid to live and be amongst others. To reach out. To talk. To share. Please grace us with a video on this subject matter
Intelligent Dating Investigate complex ptsd.
Listen , I totally hear you. I was in the same boat for a long time, in the end I tried counselling and it helped me big time. I'd recommend you give it a shot !!
look up allan watts how to overcome that
I have social anxiety and have no real friends or someone to help me. Watching "tips" on the internet to overcome it could only go so far. I do not gets depressed yet but I gets sad from time to time.
I recommend reading the novel "The Power of Now" it's a good book for people who are battling with anxiety, depression, trauma and even addiction.
“we need a secular understanding of love” *proceeds to describe love in a very biblical way*
*EXACTLY *
Hehe, that’s what I thought.
The only point I had issue with is the reason religious people neglect the deeper meaning of love is not because Jesus presented it wrong, but because us idiot humans misunderstood him. But yes, the majority's understanding of biblical love has been left lacking, either from laziness of each generation or from intentional misleading of the public by religious leaders. Maybe both.
true
Because you only know of the biblical way. Do you know what other religion texts talk about love?
I saw this video for the first time over a year ago. I saved it, and had been periodically rewatching it to remind myself. It's been about 6 months since I've properly watched it again from start to finish. and here I am in 2021, after all thats been going on, crying having heard these words again. We all desperately need to hear this and be reminded of it if we want to stand a chance and heal.
I love this new art and animation.
This is truly a masterpiece! It is a life saving lesson! This one, and the one called " I am going to die" are my favourites from this wonderful channel. Here are a couple of thoughts:
1. If I had the chance to give two books to everybody in this world, they would be:
- Just Mercy, by Bryan Stevenson
- The Consolations of Philosophy, by Alain de Botton
The first one is all about compassion, forgiveness and mercy and the second one is all about understanding ourselves and finding consolation. A person who integrates all the insights from these two books into his life can only become a very loving, generous and caring person.
I wish we all could...
What I loved the most from this lesson is the expression " sorrowful gentleness".
These books can really teach us how to get there and stay there.
2. Once Alain said on an interview something that I never forgot since then:
" Judgement is a lack of imagination".
Well, imagine your worst enemy. Personally I have no enemies but I am very scared of Neo Nazis here and sometimes I have a hard time reminding myself of our shared humanity.
But here is what happenned:
There is an incredible German movie called " Kriegerin" . The title in English is "Combat Girls." It won many awards. It is about a young girl who is a very convinced, violent and active member of a neo nazi gang. At the beginning of the movie you really hate her. Just watch the trailer, you will know what I mean.
But in the end , after two hours of watching her life and how and why she ended up there, you can't stop crying for her. I certainly couldn't . Poor girl... It took me ages to fall asleep after that and the next morning I woke up with a herpes on my lip. All this because of someone I would consider " my enemy"..In the end, I realised that "had I lived her life, I could perfectly be her."
If we had the chance to see a short movie about the childhood of any person we hate, we would probably end up loving that person..
3. I love this quote by Bryan Stevenson too:
“I understood that even as we are caught in a web of hurt and brokenness, we’re also in a web of healing and mercy…The power of just mercy is that it belongs to the UNDESERVING. It’s when mercy is least expected that it’s most potent - strong enough to break the cycle of victimization and victimhood, retribution and suffering "
4. I confess I often feel totally " claustrophobic" when I hear love songs that talk about " romantic love". Because understandably, there is no HOPE in them.
But friends from Brasil, do you remember the song " Amor é pra quem ama" by Lenine?
It is a song about love in its most profound and healing sense. About the kind of love I wish we could feel for everyone:
"Amor é pra quem ama
Amor matéria-prima
A chama
O sumo
A soma
O tema
Amor é pra quem vive
Amor que não prescreve
Eterno
Terno
Pleno
Insano
Luz do sol da noite escura
"qualquer amor já é
um pouquinho de saúde
um descanso na loucura"
Wonderful ! Thanks for writing this 😍
Best comment i have ever read!! (Com certeza é brasileira)
Thank you
It made me have crush on you.
And let me listen the song. :)
@@ansu2007 Very sorry for writing back one year too late! But I didn't receive a motification back then. You are most welcome. Thank you for reading!
Love sounds complacent, naive, and unwilling or unable to delineate between what is valued, and what is not. Love, I’d surmise, is the proverbial frog being slowly boiled alive. Love risks being the victim who bleeds out from a thousand paper cuts, and never marshals the will to punch back. Without mutual trust, earned respect, and equal reciprocity, love is a door mat.
“Why can’t we give love that one more chance cause loves such and old fashioned word and love dares you to care for the people of the edge of the night and love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves” - Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie
Because they don’t trust us any more well I’m Darcie if you love to talk more about this you can text me 8786454418
i 100% agree with this concept, and more and more people should practice it, the only problem is to find that sweet spot, when you know when to walk away if the relationship is toxic. people tend to use people who are filled with that kind of love.
If people use you and your love, it's because they have too little in their heart.
And all these wonderful qualities should be reciprocated too, there should be equality in love, not just one person doing all the kindness, support, etc. In friendships too.
This entire time i was thinking about my best friend and how much i love her.
Aww, that’s cute
@@misoukihanyu5341 I forgot I commented this. She is no longer my friend :(
Also, I was legit in love with her
Nogah Bannett I’m so sorry🥺
I’m so sorry.
Now I know that even if I wanted to be her friend again, I couldnt.
The reason I cut her out was bc she is transphobic and said some nasty things about my genderfluid ex, then gf.
I recently came out as genderfluid/non binary myself, and she would...kind of hate me for who I am now
The part of “charity” is so true! I really liked the fact that love is about not looking at the strength but getting deep into the “disgusting” parts of the other.
Anyway, I find contradictory that the video implicitly attacks Jesus’ ways even though they show the quality of “kindness” (for sinners specially). That last philosophy was part of Jesus’ guidance...
And no, I’m not even Christian, I’m agnostic.
I have studied alot " whats going 0n" & im gonna spread it for SAFE & HEALTHY❤ EVERYWHERE
❤
Half the battle🌎 is understanding WHAT YOUR UP AGAINST, IM SPREADING THAT TOO🎭
& who can change IT🇺🇸
Im sick and tired of people commenting about their romantic relationships and about themselves!! that is not the “love” the video is adressing!!
Thank you!
you can witness true love by observing visitors at a cemetary.
there will always be 100% open honesty& dignity. when i visit my own loved ones at the cemetary , i give a thought to the others who happen to drop by while im there.
Love is subjective to everyone, the definition is dependent on the person, and as you know, no one person thinks the same as you. Someone may love to cause destruction to others through physical or mental abuse, while another may love their pet cat. Love doesn't make sense because humans are irrational.
Victoria Porsiempre Even though you are sick and tired of them, and may be right that it isn't the kind of love the video gets at, try to be kind, patient, and love them.
Just because you are sexy doesn't mean you are right.
"Strangers passing in the street;
By chance two separate glances meet;
And I am you and what I see is me"
self made or reference?
Wow
Echoes.....Pink Floyd!
Love is being the most vulnerable you can be. Love is never giving up. Love is treating their feelings as if they’re your own. Love is knowing they’ll always be there for you. Love is sharing the most intimate details of your life. Love is knowing you couldn’t live your life without them. And love is painful, love is fragile. Love is the meaning of life, love is for what you live for.
1.) Charity
2.) Imagination (everyone is desperate)
3.) Kindness
4.) Forgiveness (know darkest placed of your own heart
5.) Loyalty
6.) Generosity
7.) Patience
I actually did all of those without even knowing it, and now I could be one step away from hurting forever. I wish it was as easy as in the video.
I didn't understand love till I'm mature enough to realize how love is, as I'm lucky to receive unconditional love from my mother and now I learn how to love another, and everything on this Earth!
I think true love is genuinely hoping the others (might it be lover, friends, family members) to be happy and well, even if that means parting ways and live on separately. No hatred, no cursing their dooms, no bad mouthing. Maybe there's tears for things couldn't work out. But it all ends with wishing the other to live well.
"Love is patient, love is kind, it does not boast, it does not envy, it is not proud...Love never gives up..."
Do not forget Trust and Honesty.
I always notice an inexplicable sense of tranquility whenever watching your videos. Thank you so much
Perfect comment...same feels every SoL video
Love without tears is a story we tell ourselves to get through the endless dark of reality.
loving is priority.
it sets everything else aside, even yourself.
I love how it denounces Jesus in the beginning but then reiterates Jesus’ teachings throughout the video
@Karry V Nor are they particularly observed by many of his followers.
To love someone means
1: to accept their limitations and fragilities.
2: to provide them a secure space where they can freely express and thrive with their vulnerabilities.
3: to help them see their potential and the growth they can do.
In the bible there are 9 fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I'm aware this is a secular video but a lot of these Christian points collide with the points of this video, so I thought this will be helpful.
love is to accept the other person for who he/she is totally - and both person is willing to adjust/sacrifice for the other person
7 ingredients of love: Charity, imagination, kindness, forgiveness, loyalty, generosity, patience
In replacement of loyalty, I would say commitment is a better term. Loyalty works in the army.
I do enjoy listening to this relaxing subject on love. Language of the heart still exists 🥰
Most of the people would like to see these qualities in others as they find it's easy to oppress / rule / control people having these traits !
The pinnacle of love is understanding.
This man stole my thunder!
Bravo dude.
We all still learning to love, to overcome, to forgive.
you always come out with the right video at the perfect time in my life lol thanks guys
francis IKR
Hlo sweetheart I like you sweetheart
No matter how much you love someone and how much you’re willing to do for them, they aren’t obligated to have the same feelings towards you.
It’s hard, but that’s life and we have to move on and learn from that.
Amazing video. Empathy is one of the best ways to show you love someone. So underrated! Putting yourself in the shoes of the other person makes you so much closer.
Thanks for the video.