I’ve had two kids and I’ll still ask for the smallest speculum because exams are very painful for me and I have high anxiety. They always listen to my concerns and use a small instrument. They also try to get it done as quickly as possible. But I think the best thing for me to do is mentally prepare for the exam and tell myself it’s going to fine. Watch a silly video that you know will make you laugh right before the exam, some of my faves are Jenna Marbles old videos, and Good Mythical Morning videos.
I have severe anxiety about any gynecological exam (sexual assault trauma), and I just ask for a one-time dose of xanax for the procedure. You have to have someone drive you and it takes time for the meds to wear off, but it helps me not feel re-traumatized by the whole thing. I think there's just a level of tense that no amount of deep breathing is going to help relax me, and so I'm glad that my doctor had no issues at all prescribing medication to help.
My first appointment with my current doctor, she asked, “do you want me to talk you through it, or just get in there get it done & we can talk before or after?” Then she asked if I wanted to talk before or after. She said it’s most important for me to be comfortable & relaxed. The last one I had, I had the PA. She used a metal speculum & it was horrible. If they have the plastic, ask for that.
I had my first pap smear today at age 37. I had so much anxiety to even go but i knew it had to be done because i wanted to make sure i was ok. The doctor office i went to was so nice. It was all ladies. All of them made sure i was comfortable and relax and walk me through it. Once the doctor put the speculum in me i didnt feel no pain just a pressure but the doctor was so gentle. It just a weird experience because someone is looking at your private area. But it was not bad at all. Ladies go and do it not as bad as you think😊. It could save your life.
Wowwwwwwwwww YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!😢😢😢 You are so realistic and compassionate in your approaches to pap smears, woww i truly would have preffered you to be my doctor. But i am beyond grateful for these tips
I need annual cancer screening for endometrial cancer that was found and hysterectomy was done. A locum gyn was doing it and both of my legs wanted tk cramp! She was an attending for a year at that point and was quite rough slipping it in and made a comment on my 'Gina's size...the regular gyn was quick in/out and no comments other than if it was dry due to menopause
Pap smears are the most excruciating pain I've ever endured. I don't think that some doctors know what they're doing because the way its described it looks like it should be something super simple and pain-free. But when in that office and they get in there with that speculum, it feels like they're drilling or something. The only reason I go for them is cause I want to be responsible for my health... but I swear I'd rather get a tooth pulled.
Never had a pap smear. Tried once. It was unbearably painful. The doctor offered no help and acted bothered by me. That was 14 years ago. I've never been back. 🤷♀️
Same. I had 2 horribly painful experiences. The doctors were dismissive and rude. They offered no comfort or empathy. I was treated like a child. After that I stopped going because the thought of another exam literally gave me terrible anxiety. I know it is for my health, but I can't get over the dreadful experience.
My first pap was in my later twenties, and was also my first OBGYN appointment for my first pregnancy. My doctor made me feel so safe for it, and it was so fast.
One you didn't mention: *gently* bear down before insertion of vaginal (there's different kinds of medical speculums) speculum. Can't tighten vagina & bear down @ same time.
I love the way you have your baby swaddled against your body. At 1st I thought you were wearing a scarf.😅 Thank you for these vids. You are empowering women to do whatever they want in this world and be ok with being the nurturing human beings they are ment to be.
Ur the best! U make me feel so good listening to all ur amazing info! U are very intelligent women and a great mama ❤🙏 love ur videos Thank you for taking time out of your day to share with us everything we need to know!
Yes the talking thing helps me with needles, i have a needle phobia and i have to sip lemonade/sprite n talk to the nurse otherwise i get light headed., my last pap smear my Dr also talked to me and it helped , i liked her but she moved away 😢 so idk who id see for my next one gotta find a new Dr
I hate that in the uk we don’t have one consistent provider (despite saying I have trauma) instead they give us whoever is available and it really irks me.
Wonder if you could share your opinion on finding an OBGYN who won’t judge you for a previous abortion. I was in an extremely abusive relationship which almost cost me my life- I made that decision so that I could get out with my two living kids and now fear going to an OBGYN because of it. We have a local OBGYN in our town who is loudly anti abortion and I was never worried about it before but her lack of perspective and judgement really stuck with me. I mean- the easy excuses people make- like, go to a shelter or ask family for help- those aren’t even realities for a lot of DV victims. Being pregnant would have caused him to likely have injured me in a deadly way too… so, I don’t know why people think they have any right…. Anyway, I don’t know your stance but you seem logical and might have something to share on the topic. For the record- I am also “anti-abortion” but I am also a realist who knows that we have no right to make the call for other people… it’s sad that women in our world even have to consider it because hardly ever does a woman just “want” one.
I'm so sorry you went through that! I hope you're doing better now ❤. A good doctor won't act like they're judging you for your prior medical history, but a great one truly will not judge you. You did what was necessary to take care of yourself and your living children, and that's the most important thing. Maybe try a different town to find a doctor? I know that's easier said than done sometimes. Wishing you all the best for finding a great doctor. If you don't specifically need an OBGYN right now, a family doctor who can care for you and your children might be a good starting point. My son started seeing the family practice doctor with me by the time he was 3 years old; it was just so much easier as a single Mom to get both of our checkups at the same time. (My next visit to a gynecologist was when I had a pelvic mass, which was diagnosed as ovarian cancer during my surgery, when I was 56 years old. A PAP smear couldn't have found it, as it was my ovary.)
@RedRoseSeptember22 Women's care sector needs an overhaul and re-training. It would be great if Dr. Ali could do seminars/workshops/and consulting for women's Healthcare professionals. She is the shining example of what an obgyn should be.
I went to my first exam 2 years ago at 25 and ended up crying when they told me to take my clothes off. I left embarrassed and without a pap smear and have not been back. They didn't do anything wrong my anxiety is just so bad I have to take benzos daily not even for doctor visits just daily life. I wish they could sedate you to do this stuff.
I’ve had two kids and I’ll still ask for the smallest speculum because exams are very painful for me and I have high anxiety. They always listen to my concerns and use a small instrument. They also try to get it done as quickly as possible. But I think the best thing for me to do is mentally prepare for the exam and tell myself it’s going to fine. Watch a silly video that you know will make you laugh right before the exam, some of my faves are Jenna Marbles old videos, and Good Mythical Morning videos.
Love it, when women take good care of women..you're awesome
Spread the knees!!! Like a diamond. Feet soles together. Works every time for me. Slightly uncomfortable but more comfortable than legs open knees up
I have severe anxiety about any gynecological exam (sexual assault trauma), and I just ask for a one-time dose of xanax for the procedure. You have to have someone drive you and it takes time for the meds to wear off, but it helps me not feel re-traumatized by the whole thing. I think there's just a level of tense that no amount of deep breathing is going to help relax me, and so I'm glad that my doctor had no issues at all prescribing medication to help.
Do you take Xanax orally or they inject you with it?
I had sexual trauma. It's my only remaining trigger. It brings me back. I haven't redone my pap in 14 years
As someone who has Sjogrens, post-menopausal, fibromyalgia, & tilted uterus - yes, it does hurt.
My first appointment with my current doctor, she asked, “do you want me to talk you through it, or just get in there get it done & we can talk before or after?”
Then she asked if I wanted to talk before or after.
She said it’s most important for me to be comfortable & relaxed.
The last one I had, I had the PA. She used a metal speculum & it was horrible. If they have the plastic, ask for that.
@AnnikaCarlson-xi5eo I’m really sorry that happened to you. You need to find a doctor who works for you. You are worth finding a better doctor. 🫂
I had my first pap smear today at age 37. I had so much anxiety to even go but i knew it had to be done because i wanted to make sure i was ok. The doctor office i went to was so nice. It was all ladies. All of them made sure i was comfortable and relax and walk me through it. Once the doctor put the speculum in me i didnt feel no pain just a pressure but the doctor was so gentle. It just a weird experience because someone is looking at your private area. But it was not bad at all. Ladies go and do it not as bad as you think😊. It could save your life.
Wowwwwwwwwww YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!😢😢😢 You are so realistic and compassionate in your approaches to pap smears, woww i truly would have preffered you to be my doctor. But i am beyond grateful for these tips
Spanish and English are my languages!! I love your videos, so educational and applicable.
I need annual cancer screening for endometrial cancer that was found and hysterectomy was done. A locum gyn was doing it and both of my legs wanted tk cramp! She was an attending for a year at that point and was quite rough slipping it in and made a comment on my 'Gina's size...the regular gyn was quick in/out and no comments other than if it was dry due to menopause
Im so glad your video came up as a suggestion. I appreciate the info you give. Oh and baby Eleanor is precious ❤
after watching this video I was so much more comfortable going in for my first exam and pap smear! thank you for making content like these
Pap smears are the most excruciating pain I've ever endured. I don't think that some doctors know what they're doing because the way its described it looks like it should be something super simple and pain-free. But when in that office and they get in there with that speculum, it feels like they're drilling or something. The only reason I go for them is cause I want to be responsible for my health... but I swear I'd rather get a tooth pulled.
Never had a pap smear. Tried once. It was unbearably painful. The doctor offered no help and acted bothered by me. That was 14 years ago. I've never been back. 🤷♀️
Same. I had 2 horribly painful experiences. The doctors were dismissive and rude. They offered no comfort or empathy. I was treated like a child. After that I stopped going because the thought of another exam literally gave me terrible anxiety. I know it is for my health, but I can't get over the dreadful experience.
@@Im_so_Retro85 I completely understand. That's exactly how I feel.
I haven't been back in 14 years. I had sexual trauma, and it is my only remaining trigger.
My first pap was in my later twenties, and was also my first OBGYN appointment for my first pregnancy. My doctor made me feel so safe for it, and it was so fast.
Gosh! I WISH my obgyn was you or like you. I've had bad experiences with all of them where it really just makes me not want to do my check ups.
i decided i’m not going to an obgyn because of my fear of them. but watching your videos help me a lot
One you didn't mention: *gently* bear down before insertion of vaginal (there's different kinds of medical speculums) speculum. Can't tighten vagina & bear down @ same time.
I love the way you have your baby swaddled against your body. At 1st I thought you were wearing a scarf.😅 Thank you for these vids. You are empowering women to do whatever they want in this world and be ok with being the nurturing human beings they are ment to be.
So cute that you were wearing baby Eleanor :D also great video!!!
Thank you!! 😊
Ur the best! U make me feel so good listening to all ur amazing info! U are very intelligent women and a great mama ❤🙏 love ur videos
Thank you for taking time out of your day to share with us everything we need to know!
Thank you so much! It is so helpful!
How often do women over 65 need pap smears?
Yes the talking thing helps me with needles, i have a needle phobia and i have to sip lemonade/sprite n talk to the nurse otherwise i get light headed., my last pap smear my Dr also talked to me and it helped , i liked her but she moved away 😢 so idk who id see for my next one gotta find a new Dr
Thanking modern medicine for self collect now 🙏🏼 and also HPV vaccines. Aussies leading the way
Why can’t more OBs be like you?! 😭 every pap I’ve had was done by an old man who literally laughed at my anxiety
I hate that in the uk we don’t have one consistent provider (despite saying I have trauma) instead they give us whoever is available and it really irks me.
I decided to find a private obigyn for my next smears. I prefer to pay and find a great doctor, than getting free trauma every time I visit my surgery
I love the name you chose for your baby that is beautiful ❤
Wonder if you could share your opinion on finding an OBGYN who won’t judge you for a previous abortion. I was in an extremely abusive relationship which almost cost me my life- I made that decision so that I could get out with my two living kids and now fear going to an OBGYN because of it.
We have a local OBGYN in our town who is loudly anti abortion and I was never worried about it before but her lack of perspective and judgement really stuck with me. I mean- the easy excuses people make- like, go to a shelter or ask family for help- those aren’t even realities for a lot of DV victims. Being pregnant would have caused him to likely have injured me in a deadly way too… so, I don’t know why people think they have any right…. Anyway, I don’t know your stance but you seem logical and might have something to share on the topic.
For the record- I am also “anti-abortion” but I am also a realist who knows that we have no right to make the call for other people… it’s sad that women in our world even have to consider it because hardly ever does a woman just “want” one.
I'm so sorry you went through that! I hope you're doing better now ❤. A good doctor won't act like they're judging you for your prior medical history, but a great one truly will not judge you. You did what was necessary to take care of yourself and your living children, and that's the most important thing.
Maybe try a different town to find a doctor? I know that's easier said than done sometimes. Wishing you all the best for finding a great doctor. If you don't specifically need an OBGYN right now, a family doctor who can care for you and your children might be a good starting point. My son started seeing the family practice doctor with me by the time he was 3 years old; it was just so much easier as a single Mom to get both of our checkups at the same time. (My next visit to a gynecologist was when I had a pelvic mass, which was diagnosed as ovarian cancer during my surgery, when I was 56 years old. A PAP smear couldn't have found it, as it was my ovary.)
Unfortunately, the two bad experiences I've had with gynecologists have been with women 😮
I wish you were in FL...all of my woman's care experiences have been horrible. Lots of doctors with terrible bedside manner and little empathy.
Right? I've had so many rude ones!!! Even worse when it's women doctors, I've been tempted to try a male obgyn but we'll see.
@RedRoseSeptember22 Women's care sector needs an overhaul and re-training. It would be great if Dr. Ali could do seminars/workshops/and consulting for women's Healthcare professionals. She is the shining example of what an obgyn should be.
What happens if you have a tilted pelvis
*MR OBALAR* ON RUclips CURE ME TOTALLY❤️
I went to my first exam 2 years ago at 25 and ended up crying when they told me to take my clothes off. I left embarrassed and without a pap smear and have not been back. They didn't do anything wrong my anxiety is just so bad I have to take benzos daily not even for doctor visits just daily life. I wish they could sedate you to do this stuff.
Love this! I'll def get a Pap smear soon but I should shave first down there don't wanna
feel embarrassed
That's nothing to be embarrassed of! Pubic hair is there to protect the vagina, so the doctor would actually be glad to see it on a patient.
@@hannahb7038 Thanks for making me feel better !
Pubic hair is normal and they are not concerned about it.
😍
Put it in yourself??? 😳….🤔
My doctor told me that the first time, but I didn't have the angle right.
*MR OBALAR* ON RUclips CURE ME TOTALLY❤️
*MR OBALAR* ON RUclips CURE ME TOTALLY❤️