How I stopped people-pleasing & set healthy boundaries 🌱
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- When we are young and basically a blank slate, it’s easy to just let life “happen to us”.
Setting healthy boundaries & living for ourselves isn’t about privileging the self. It’s about giving our own needs equal weight, considering them alongside the needs of others, and finding a sensible compromise when in conflict - or, sometimes, even just standing firm.
📍 Shot in Bali, Indonesia where we live
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#minimalism #minimalist #setboundaries
Your videos are so peaceful and inspirational- Thank you.
Thank you for listening 🙏🤗
I’m a single male turning 40 in June. My job title is bellman at a hotel I’ve been working in this department for a few years and people keep asking me why I don’t apply for the front desk. My answer is i work smarter not harder lol. Even though I get paid less than the desk I am stress free and get tips by just storing bags. I’m retiring from full time to part time next year
Yes me and my girlfriends approach is 2 steps (but not easy). Cut your costs and invest your money well (to get passive income). That's the summary.
If you don't have 2 cars, huge mortgages, pets, boats and tons of kids then one can afford to work 2 days a week in some situations.
Educate yourself on investing and that's the mix you need, in my opinion.
I gave up my project management job, now a lifeguard 2 days a week and I now get time to write a book!
A balance of money, health and time. If you have those 3 things, that's a more realistic version of rich!
Showing more compassion and kindness to yourself actually teaches others by example to love themselves more
I agree! People can draw courage from what they see others doing in real life 🤭🤗
I think you could consider articulating your values in a book. Many people will recognize something they have forgotten, and need to be re-minded of Thank you for sharing john
Introducing you to…..Me 🤷♀️. ❤❤❤❤ you are offering, sharing, life changing thoughts….🙏
Couldn't agree more. I'm lucky in a sense that I decided to live for myself and set my boundaries in my early 20s. I've been called selfish, ungrateful, stubborn, etc. by Asian standards, but I decided to stick with my plan to live the way I want and I'm so glad that I did. I saw a quote today and it says something like "Don't change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love you". This has proven true to me so far :).
Looks like you got a new puppy! Congratulations! So cute!
Hey u! 😍🤗 love that quote, it’s hard to do that when we r young but it’s so true actually. Anyway glad that im not young anymore (lol!) and can’t be bothered to put on masks anymore 🤭 I did get a new baby boy!! His name is Bobbi and he’s AMAZING 😍😍😍 we r so in love, and Pam Pam loves him too! (I was worried she’ll be jealous but turns out she kinda thinks he’s her baby…. 🤣) he’s so sweet! Although he also chewed up my eye glasses 🤣😍 but we still love him!
I can see why you guys are in love with Bobbi. He looks so adorable! Hope to see him more in your future videos!
BTW. I think you're very good at painting!
@@JeanVoronkova
In 2007 I moved to New Zealand where I lived with my wife (37+ years) and my two youngest daughters. We moved 11 times and it was an amazing journey. I was never the same person when I moved back to California. I'd humbly suggest that if you can simplify your life, you'll live your best life. I'm alone a lot now but I am not lonely. Beautiful Video, thank you. 😀
New Zealand is Great isn’t it!
Ooh long journey from Cali to NZ and then back ✨ simple but wonderful life, alone but not lonely 😍🌱 love the sentiments, thank you so much for sharing 🙏🤗
@@edfast5893 New Zealand is fantastic and since the plandemic, I wouldn't move there now. Many old friends there have told me that during the 5 1/2 years I lives there, it was the last "golden era," of Kiwi land. I'm grateful that I was able to go when I did!!!
@@williambillyshears9129 Nice! Yes it has changed a little, but it still has so much going for it and the people are great. It’s not cheap, it’s not sophisticated and it definitely is not busy. 😊
My favorite word to other people is "No"
This is wonderful. I am now in my early 50s and just realized a couple years back that my whole life I was just a people pleaser. I am just now learning to love myself and trying to find out who I am.
Hi Jean! Your content helps me expand my philosophical perspectives. I've always struggled w people pleasing as i thought it would be the only way i would be accepted by the people around me.
Hopefully i'll find my tribe one day!
Blessings ❤
Hi Shai, thanks for this kind note. I do think this is smtg majority of us go through as we r growing up, but hopefully with more life experience we develop into our own unique personalities n also find the courage to be open about who we r and like you say, find our tribes 😍🤩 you will, I’m sure. All the best 🌱
I love these videos . Its so natural and authentically you. Even if it portrays much psychology and teachings on therapy. Its brought to others with the simplicity and reality everyone can understand
Thank you Lj 🌱✨
you have a beautiful way with words and in this loud self serving world you are appreciated
Wow. Deep sense of reflection and intuition.
Very touching narrative and recollection of childhood. Wonderful telling of the growth and rebuilding of self.
A beautiful video. I look forward to these videos every week. If I may suggest, the font is a little small. I don’t know, what do others think? Thanks so much anyway.
I love her insight! She has been a lifesaver…. Cheers
Love your enlightening and inspiring video! Just being and breathing, is enough!🙏☁️🤲🌺🍃🌱And enjoying every moment, good or bad! Being in the moment! Sometimes, that is the richness in life! Watching the sky or watching the 🐦 birds! I’m trying to live within my means, being content and not creating anxiety or wanting more as it never stops! Need to be happy now, not when the next is on or with a materialistic item, such as the next car or a luxury bag! I’m just trying to be happy with the simple things! Not wanting more, but just being content! I want a car that is inexpensive, safe and that gets from A to B, or not even one! I don’t want a flash life! Just a simple house and simple things!😮💨🧘🏼♀️☯️
My gosh, thank you for this latest video. " Freedom is the letting go of the need to be approved by others."!!
What wiser words have been spoken. "Who am I" at 75 at the edge of retirement"? The question scares me....Thank goodness there your are for some guidance.
I "Drink" every words you say.
It calms me and help me focus❤
Thank you so much😊
It's called good resonance or not. When the vibes (place, environment, activity, person) resonate with us, we feel peace, joy, kindness, love, laughter, etc.
Exactly, if you are stressed it's not about fixing the person....it's about fixing the environment! Go to a nice environment that suits you.
Just like a plant that suffers in a bad environment, it needs good sun and water!
Beautiful video. I'm from New Zealand and live in Bali with my Indonesian wife and our newborn son. We're still 27 and 31. Your video has given the groundwork for extra thought towards our relationship moving forward. Peace and Love
Jean I'm so happy that you stop trying to please other people in your life, because in the end, must of these people are not worth trying to please. Thank you for the wonderful video Jean sweetheart.
Being with nature is loving myself, the sound of nature is the language that tunes myself.
Love your videos...
Resonates a lot to me...
Thank you 😊
Thank you jean for another beautiful meaningful video I appreciate your wisdom
That is the cutest puppy I’ve ever seen 😍😍😍😍😍 and what a BEAUTIFUL video and beautiful message. I’m a recovering “codependent” so I needed this message today- THANK YOU! :)
Thank you 🙏🏼 I can relate to every word you said. Finding your own way is so worth it and rewarding! ❤
Thank you for listening Nastja 😍
I’ve been a fan of your channel since 2 weeks ago if I could describe your videos it’s like meditation 💯
Thank you, I really appreciate that ✨🌱
Jean, how did you find love? How did you know you were ready? You have a video on that topic?
Thank you for reminding me that my authentic self is always waiting for me in the quiet places. ❤
I’m really enjoying your channel. Without giving away exactly where your particular piece of paradise is, could you do a video on the parts of Bali that still have access to basic amenities but are more tranquil places to live, away from the main tourist hubs?
Typical golden child you were. They show you love and they expect you to be the person they would like to be, even they don’t know what exactly they want from you.
Nicely said. All of us have to find our true selves. Sometimes it's early , sometimes it's later.
@To-DM-JeanVoronkova hi Jean ,
Apologies , I don't have a telegram account .
Heard about this beautiful placement years ago affordability simple luxuries ❤❤❤❤❤peacefulness secured sanity firm foundation for explorations 😊
Beautiful video, Jean! Thank you for sharing a much needed perspective. Distance is so needed and freedom to be and express ourselves= priceless!
Despite having an internal compass, I struggle with this. Thank you for this, it helps put many things in perspective. To know myself and to be confident of myself, this is the lesson reiterated to me. Thank you again. ❣
Have you thought about writing a book?
I adore your messages and your channel🙏🏽🥹♥️ bless you
Hi Jean, very eloquent indeed, but somehow I feel that you seem to forget if everyone try to live your "retire early life", nobody will grow the food you cook for meals or operate the restaurant that you patronise or manufacture the vehicles that you drive around. And 2 likely outcomes will be cost of living will escalate as less people are producing goods and services, quality of life will deteriorate as no one wants to innovate anymore, no new features on the wonderful equipments you are using to create such beautiful videos 😅
I love the peacefulness your videos emit 🤍🤍🤍 And your puppy is a cuteness overload 😍😍😍 If I may ask, in which area are you coz it doesn't seem to be near the crazy busy rest of Bali? I'm looking at moving back to Bali & was thinking Uluwatu coz it's much quieter there.
Its great to see so many awakening to this knowledge. That a lot of parents, in their best intentions of raising us... didnt know exactly what was best for us, or understand that we are our own people with our own strengths, weaknesses, tastes and dislikes. And at the end of the day, our parents are non perfect fallable humans like anyone else. So we have the responsibility to listen to our OWN soul & inner voice, in which, the formless Creator Lord of the universe, speaks to us and gives us spiritual downloads, and reveals what to do NEXT in our life and what is best for US.
Hi Jean,tks for sharing your wisdom and I have been through my share of unhappiness by being kind towards others and in the end I go.through unhappiness.
Beautiful video and message Jean, thank you for sharing your voice and experience. I resonate with a lot of what you said. Appreciate you 🙏
I love her message! Great camera work, too. You can tell she loves what she does. Sending you love and all the blessings, Jean! ❤
Thank you for your videos with the important messages. I FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY, SO THANK YOU. I am a new subscriber and have watched 2 videos so far....my goodness, this is soooooo many of us. Thank YOU for being honest, raw, caring and understanding. You have created such a safe and healthy space💜
Visit srilanka.there is most friendly environment.
I am in hte process of setting and practicing my own boundaries. We had to learn the hard way before realizing it. I am excited to learn more about myself and the to know more people that will like me for who I am.
Sending love to everyone! 💗✨
Jean - you are like the older sister I never had. Always peaceful listening to your message and inspiring me to live the life I was meant to live. A mentor I was always subconsciously looking for
be kind to others. be kinder to self ❤
What a beautiful and wise video, thank you.
You’re videos are one of my favorite things about Saturday mornings.
You do not suck at painting! Lol.
You would love (I promise) Rick Rubin’s excellent book “The Creative Act.” (On Audible). Thank you! 💚
You’re living many aspects of it now…
Jean, I can't thank you enough for putting all these videos together, they bring me so much joy...Are you still living in Bali?
Yes we are, and thank you for this kind note. I'm glad the videos make a difference to you :) 🌻
I m 34 and wanted to live my life as what i want but my parent is completely disagreed. I worked for 10 yrs but i still cant adjust myself with 9-5 job and inners keep telling me this is not what i should drag and slaughter myself in every single day . Thanks so much for your video, i gonna watch everyone of them :).
Hi....caught one of your videos many years ago...and today I chanced upon it again and at a timely period. And it kinda nailed it for me as I'm in the midst of a trying career conundrum phase. Age is not my side but I need to start 'living' for me. Thank you for sharing. I miss Bali. Take care. Cheers
I have been wanting to move to Thailand ,but I have been procrastinating of moving there ,what shall I do to.make a firm decision to move abroad
Thailand is a wonderful place, and so are many other places in the world 😍 big moves are usually best achieved in little steps, so maybe you could visit there for a short trip first, or if you’ve already been, try a 3 month stay or longer, n then slowly transition across permanently? That could make you surer of your intentions for a permanent move, and also u’ll learn more about your intended new home 🌱 just a suggestion off the top of my head 🤗
@JeanVoronkova Tks Jean ,appreciate your good advice,I would plan accordingly and do my planning and if all goes good ,if I move to Thailand ,will invite both of you over if all goes well on my end,thank you once again
I have lived in Thailand for 10 years. Originally from Australia. Happy to give advice.
@@robertmcgregor8144 would be happy to get some tips
@@robertmcgregor8144hello, how were you ab6 to do this? I'm from South Africa
Your videos help me. Thank you 🙏
So glad to hear that 🌱 thank you
Another great one. I do miss the weekly episodes
Wonderful video and beautiful background piano music. Was that you on piano?😃
Very pleasing 2 the sanity of manys world stresses snowballing,
❤ effected decades survivalist jumping hurdles requirements of self & team struggles worsening ExpensEsculations forced dependence of healthier requirements affecting support team frustrations❤ escapes viewings ❤❤❤❤❤😊😊
Hi. Thank you for the inspiring videos you have been created. It is so refreshing and so much relax. Your voice and the video are conspiring with each other. This is what i need now for me to develop and know myself more. Thank you so much. Hope we can meet,
Where you in Australia in the late 90s travelling? Working on Hamilton island?!?
Yes me and my girlfriends approach is 2 steps (but not easy). Cut your costs and invest your money well (to get passive income). That's the summary.
If you don't have 2 cars, huge mortgages, pets, boats and tons of kids then one can afford to work 2 days a week in some situations.
Educate yourself on investing and that's the mix you need, in my opinion.
I gave up my project management job, now a lifeguard 2 days a week and I now get time to write a book!
A balance of money, health and time. If you have those 3 things, that's a more realistic version of rich!
Thank you Jean for this video ❤ love the messages, as usual! Can I ask if it’s possible to meet you for a meal in Bali?
Your voice is soft & calm. I also approach life in the same way. Still finding part of me in middle age - what I want and like to do. I wonder which beach you are at? It's not busy and peaceful.
I have just been laid off and is currently in my 2nd week of being jobless. I found your channel just before I got laid off and have been wondering if I can have a life like yours. I'm reaching 50 in a few years and I'm in that stage of "Mid Life Crisis". I have always wanted to retire in Thailand, maybe now its a good time for me to seriously explore that direction.
Yes so many of us go through life living for others only to find out the end what was it all for? Where are those people for which we lived our lives seeking their approval. Oh yeah they are off living their own lives without a care about what happened to you. And unrequited love is just so interesting because almost all of us want to be in the role of the adorer as opposed to the adored. We all want to be with the one we love opposed to just being with those who love us. Really interesting. So difficult to find that so elusive state of both in the adoring role. But I imagine it exists. Great video as always.
Most ladies ambition untill 25-27 then they live ordinary life very few
well what should I say, one of the best video presentation I have seen, no no not the pics, the inner you
thanks for sharing
I hope all comments given did understand what you was talking about,
honestly: I dont think so.
cheers
What country is this? It's soooo beautiful and I want to see these views in person I get so relaxed and happy being in nature away from crowds of ppl
Thank you ❤
I’m glad if it brought a little something to you 🙏🤓
good job to you...Mabuhay from the Philippines
Are you leaving Bali back to Sg to join rat race? Your videos from weekly to once two weeks and now 3 weeks still no video
Jean, I’m a male 75 and I must be honest your vlogs leave me in an emotional state sometimes. Maybe it’s because I love Bali too.
I really like your thought provoking vlogs. I can see where you are coming from though. When attending the Uni, I chose a degree I wasn’t sure I wanted to get into: Secondary Education. I continued my education path because my family expected me to graduate and get a job in that career. I did just that and was really miserable because it wasn’t a good fit for me. After 3 years of teaching I quit the job and continued down the path I had chose years before and that’s Wildland firefighter, or What Australian’s call bush firefighter. Most ppl don’t understand what a Wildland firefighter is, but they understand what a bush firefighting is. Now I am getting close to retirement, I wouldn’t change anything because it developed me into who I am today. There are a lot of stories behind every decision but that’s my story to tell at a later date and time.
Love your channel 🙏❤️
Thank you Dennis 🌱✨
Color is amazing, what kind of camera did you use?
Why don't you create a travel program where you can experience your daily life?
inspiring and well said, thank you Jean for sharing
Thanks for listening Agus 🤗🌱
Why do you create the channel if you live for yourself, Jean?
Do you have kids ? How’s the education in bali ?
This was an interesting video - still not sure how I came to find your channel at first but I am glad I did. Some things to think about for sure!
Tq.. For capturing bali... In your way... Love to watch your every video...
Hi Jean! I hope you are well ❤ I enjoy your videos and listening to your voice. You have changed my outlook on life and I will forever be grateful. Thank you for these videos and thank you for just simply being YOU ❤ sending you love and light 🤗✨
Thank you for your wisdom another great video
Thankyou for the helpful advice Jean.
Loved your words of wisdom and your message. Your voice is soooo soothing I could listen to you all week long! I tend to apply what you are trying to teach us.. Thank you so much...
You are wonderful. Thank you for sharing your excperiance 🙂 I agree to everything you just have said. We deserve to be kind to ourselves
Oh, you've settled in Bali now, congratulations!
This is one of your very best videos! So many important lessons and wonderful life advice to ponder here. Thank you for such a beautiful and encouraging video!❤️
Same with my family i find it to be a form of control whchi Shorten the distance of one travelling to reach their own destination... in other words ...mabking you feel guilty...I shook it of and did what i wanted ...it made them angry ..in the end my father and me loved again.
Thank you so much for this video! So calming and informative and just great. I love that you talked about having a good childhood. Usually when I read about people-pleasing it comes down to having an unsafe childhood. Like you, I haven't felt that way. I had a loving childhood, but yeah, here I am at 30 being a hard-core people-pleaser. I have just started to come to terms with it, and I have been feeling so bad, so much anxiety. Your video brings me so much joy and hope. Thank you
thanks elisabet for this kind note. We can all slowly work on our boundaries. Consciousness is already a big step forwards :)
Love your videos Sis, always give a very peaceful feeling watching them 🙏❤️🙏
i need a wife and mom like her. someone knows where she from?
Thank you Jean for spreading this beautiful message ❤ I am a fellow Singaporean here
I am so glad I found your channel!
Where do you live ? , is beautiful
Will my daughter say the same about piano lessons she is having when she grows up? 😂
Thank you for the insightful truths! Beautiful 😃❤🙏✌
This video footage is really fantastic!
Thank you for this reminder of the importance of getting to know yourself. I still struggle with questions like: what makes me truely happy? What is it I love the most? When I watch birds, animals, THAT´s when I am truely happy. But other than that? I am sure I will one day find the answer to this question. Until then, I keep listening to you a little bit longer I suppose.
This has been my favorite videos of yours yet. Thank you for sharing, as I’ve been working on my boundary setting as well lately.
Mr Vonokora is a lucky guy.