Ok guys, everyone keeps asking what app the one girl is talking about in the video. I thought it was called "beauty pass ", but apparently that's only for models from verified agencies. I honestly don't know what app she's referring to anymore😢...
yeah that does sound really bad, but it could also mean personality wise. like they couldn't see you even gaining interest in letting a guy get that close to you because you have trust issues or maybe they saw you might interested in the same sex. that saying doesn't immediately mean that they're attacking your looks hun.
Idk if y’all experience this too, but I always get people who invalidate that I can have low self esteem. Going from being considered SO UGLY to being considered conventionally attractive (by most people) has given me such a complex and I feel like people don’t believe me when I say I don’t always find myself to be beautiful
The worst part of being ugly is that people literally treat you as if you were invisible. Your opinions and feelings don't matter, they always tell you to shut up and just put up with everything because "they allow you to be around them" and somehow it should be more than enough to make you happy... it's really upsetting that just because you're born with a face that doesn't fit the standard, your entire social existence is doomed and unless you find awesome people, you're basically left all alone...
Yess, worst if you are shy, imagine being shy and ugly? You are neither interiesting or pretty, you have nothing to offer and you will be left alone, thats my actual reality.
Facts. My sister is at an age where she’s afraid to lose her pretty privilege, so seeing her do whatever to stay pretty has been a trip. I’m like welcome to the ugly club sissy 💀🤣✋
women mostly don't benefit from pretty privilege, other women hate them for no reason and men just objectify them and both, genders think they didn't get their position by hardwork? However pretty privilege in men only benefits them to the point that they can get away with stalking behavior and creepy behavior in general and her getting angry at the worker for not taking the ride as if she asked him to wait is jealous and pick me behavior
Honestly, conforming to the latest beauty standard/trend just to stay relevant in society’s eyes is a vicious cycle. Losing that pretty privilege forces you to realize that there’s more to your identity than just looks. In the end, it’s best that you be a better version of yourself.
I don’t agree with the whole “if you’re pretty, people think you’re stupid” thing. People might assume you’re stupid because of your ugliness as well. I also find it depends on the type of beauty a woman possesses. If she has a lot of artificial enhancements and curves, maybe people will assume she’s not smart. This doesn’t apply to women with moderate and natural looking features.
it's true that if you're very pretty people think you're stupid and it's also true that if you're ugly they can think the same. it's more about if you look and act like a stereotypically smart person or if you don't
It’s definitely true like sm times ppl think I’m stupid cuz I have a bubbly sense of humour and I also enjoy feminine things and that’s what is more visible on the surface so ppl don’t see the other sides to me and ppl often just assume cuz sometimes I’ll even joke in a sarcastic way cuz I’m aware of how I come off but ppl will literally think I’m fr that stupid
Funny story, my dad is the most insecure person in the world, he literally jokes that "he doesn't has a personality" or that "he does It all for attention". People say he is ugly, so let's assume he is (daughter bias, I think he is very beautiful man), he always told me big ears made him looks stupid, so he made a surgery to "fix" It, and he asked If I wanted to do It as well, but since I'm not a tenth as insecure as him I said no, and I still like me Dumbo ears the way they are lol. I can't judge him at all, but I can't fall in the pit of "I'm so ugly, no one likes me!"
“Pretty Privilege” is 100% real. Especially in the work place. It’s crazy that people are just more kind, patient, respectful, and forgiving to “pretty people”
When I got my first job as a waitress, I quickly realized that working was much easier when I wore conventionally pretty clothing and makeup. Everyone was friendlier and more patient with me even when I messed up, and I got way more tips. It was even more apparent when I acted extra bubbly and cutesy. Obviously that came with its own cons too. Some men (usually older) would ask me when my shift was over, try to slip money into my apron or pockets while I cleared their tables, and would openly flirt with me, some even in front of their wives/GFs. I had one guy try to “teach” me how to do my job better while I was waiting on other tables. The other waitress who was more heavy-set and wore less makeup wasn’t treated with the same amount of patience/respect, even though she was better at the job than me and was always very friendly and kind. I had some customers actually tell me they wanted me to serve them instead of her. It was an enlightening but unfortunate lesson I learned.
Hmm, maybe people want you because you're "bubbly" as in more social than the heavy set one. And the heavy set one is just doing their job. Because I use to work as a restaurant hostess and a hostess for public tourists, people like those type of people that can sit and chat with them. If you were in the medical field as a hha, nobody would give a _ if you were pretty and bubbly, because if you can't do your job, you end up putting patients in jeopardy
@@bplovelove3119 no? LMAOO yall will do anything to deny pretty privilege. its obviously because of how she looks. even if there was a good looking person who was grumpy and rude but rlly hot ppl would rather the hot grumpy one than teh bubbly chubby and not good looking one to serve. keeyaseef hope urmumandaddye
I "used to be ugly" when I was younger and only recently "discovered" that I was pretty. I think it's interesting seeing the difference in how my peers treated me then and now. I was harassed on the street more back then than I am now, but now I can convince people to do things for me a lot easier. And people tend to listen more intently to what I have to say now than they used to.
something that i dont think gets talked about enough is how important being photogenic is- a lot of people seem to think its just ugly or pretty. like i know i can be good looking irl and i get quite a lot of attention/compliments, but in my heart of hearts i KNOW i look terrible on camera. same goes for a lot of people i know. but many people who are even perhaps conventionally just average looking have the ability to make themselves look better on camera. its something i often feel jealous of considering how prevalent social media is in our social lives, although i know id also feel jealous if i looked better on camera than off. people who have both really are lucky icl
I hate taking pictures for the same reason! I look SO MUCH worse and my parents fuelled me with it as well saying stuff like "you are too tense and worse looking on pictures, why don't you want us to take a photo of you? You are doing it on purpose bc you don't respect us! You are only posing for your friends! " (I never liked photos even with my friends tho) 💀💀💀
THISS omg, I probably have 4 pictures total where I’ve looked good lol. I’m not photogenic at all and I hate taking pictures, so I never post them on social media. And I know a lot of people use photoshop, lighting, poses, and etc, but there are people who genuinely don’t have to try as hard.
The privilege is REAL! I was overweight most of my life until my ED got so bad I was in the hospital. People treated me so much better when I was sick and it fueled my ED more because I didn’t want to be treated the way I was when I was fat. Now as I’m older, I care less about it but people dehumanize you when you’re fat. It’s sad 😐
Yeah, it's ridiculous that people treat fat people as less than human. My sympathies that you had to experience all of that. I hope you cut off all of those people who decided to treat you nicer because you were struggling with an ED, that's very messed up. I'm happy you're doing better now.
Same here. When I was 22, I was borderline anorexic and anemic. People kept complimenting me on my weight loss and even one person mentioned that I looked disgusting in the past but now I was looking good. Guys tried to hit on me and everyone was nicer. I got pregnant, got all the weight back and 40 pounds more over the spawn of 15 years. Tried everything in the book to lose it. I am practicing self love first. A healthy lifestyle has to be sustained in wanting to actually be healthier instead of torturing and starving yourself for not looking like a supermodel.
I’m a fat girl and people dehumanize me so much to the point where I’m just used to it. It hurts so bad and it’s permanently put me in a place with terrible mental health. It is very much real.
my fraternal twin has pretty privilege and she's very much the kind of person who doesnt care about her looks and no matter how much effort i put in, an average joe like me is looked down upon for the same things she's praised for (for eg if we both dont dress up, shes "not-shallow" but im "gross" and should put in effort) point is, people with pretty privilege will always have it easier even if they have to deal with unsolicited attention. at least thats just my opinion :/
Very true, then you feel pressure to do extraordinary makeup, hair, and clothes to “make up” for your non conventional features (ex: acne, dark eye circles, big nose)
Be Kind🖤🫂✝️ As a twin sister myself, i can say your possibly wrong… I remember my brother being asked about me i think he was always protective over me most of the time.. I’d hope your sister was the same way if can really ask her.. my brother and i still talk often❤ also i’m sure she may have overthinked things possibly then wear something simple.. my twin brother is always doing this and looks great. i always try to put the best things i have on with time this is way more normal to me now… Hopefully maybe you both bringing up the past may heal anything between you too❤ anyway sending that twin love❤ lol
I have a fraternal twin too and we look so different that people often don’t believe we’re twins. Anyways she gets pretty privilege while I get called the ugly twin
FORREAALLL i have a friend that's way prettier than me that got constant praise at a party with everyone thinking they're so cool even though they were being awkward, while literally nobody noticed me
For all the younger women watching this, please please please remember that having light hair, eyes and skin does NOT equate to being beautiful. It's all about bone structure and contrast, it doesn't matter where you come from or where your ethnicity is from originally, what really matters is the overall harmony in the face and body. Still, even if we're not perfect l, just remember the prettiest person is unattractive to someone, believe or not. At the end of the day, we all are beautiful in the eyes of some people, always always remember that ♥️
I don't doubt that pretty people have their own unique struggles, but I will say it's probably still preferable than being deemed unattractive by society. I hear that people who are not conventionally attracted get treated really badly. Being pretty is still a privilege
Ok but what about that model or pretty woman who was a victim of an acid attack and lost her beauty to it? How do you feel about that? Envy, pettiness, or rejection can be a very real threat that can instantly change one's life
@@LovelyLittleLillies 'how do you feel about that'...? My original comment shouldn't create the assumption that I'm fine with people having acid thrown on them. My comment was talking about an average day in the life of a pretty Vs unattractive person. Obviously criminals can target anyone at any time, including pretty people.
@@LovelyLittleLillies You have 1 example, remind me the amount of bullying due to someone being ugly ? Yeah, pretty people don't have this in their average life, plus, is it really because she is pretty OR due to being a famous model ?
@@inihilisme1511 you must live in ignorance because there have been bullying of pretty girls too - it's a tale as old as time and there have been historical cautionary tales on that... Like that movie Marlena or something like that, where the famous scene where she puts a cigarette in her mouth and bunch of men pull out lighters to lighten her cigarette comes from, with the actress Monica Bellucci. There have been many instances of pretty girls and women having to deal with cattiness and mean girl behavior from other females due to jealousy, some of them open up about it online. Why don't you go ask the prettiest girls what they've been through instead of assuming? Plus not everyone who is unattractive or unconventional looking gets bullied - let's not generalize. Being ugly is not indicative of being bullied. I appeared a little weird in my early middle school years and none outright picked on me and bullied me. Y'all are making too much generalizations and stereotyping with these pretty privilege talk. Like I've said in another comment whether you're pretty or unattractive there are advantages and disadvantages with each one. Y'all don't see that bc y'all are looking through tunnel vision just like men complaining online say life is easier being a women - they say that bc they're imagining best case scenario and life through a beautiful woman's lense not life being an average woman. Y'all say pretty privilege is better without giving much though what the negative aspects of being a beautiful woman are - like higher chance of being approached or pinned for by unstable, creepy men and higher chance of attacks from those types of men and many men taking out rejection violently on them. More likely to be victims of stalkers. More likely to be victims of acid attacks - also victims of SA bc many average men do not see them as humans - just like Taylor Swift who had a very public SA happen to her at a radio station and she's a pretty woman. Being objectified and only seen for your beauty - only being valued for your beauty. People not seeing other aspects of, thinking You're a bimbo and underestimating you, and not seeing the humanity in you. The list goes on and on. Reason pretty privilege isn't as much of an upgrade bc s**ism still exists and it still applies to pretty woman with pretty privileges, so they're still gonna be victims of patriarchy and experience the negative consequences of patriarchy. Pretty privilege doesn't protect women from not experiencing s**ism - be it at home, from their spouses, or in their cultures if they live in a s**ist country. It doesn't protect them from SA's and grapes just like all other women experience as well. So what's the point of obtaining pretty privilege? There isn't much privilege in pretty privilege for women. True pretty privilege only exists for good looking men.
This is so real. Skin tone and hair texture also play a big role in who's deemed "attractive" or not. Especially w the rise of influencer culture and it's so draining. Great video!!
Pretty privilege exists. This is coming from someone who was usually the last to bloom back in middle school, a teachers pet and was always the last to be picked when they boys were doing their random chooses. (Illogical I know, but if you were in such a situation as a pre/post pubescent girl, it was extremely painful to experience) At 19-20, I’m glad to say that yes, I have bloomed well (honestly non of them were expecting it) and I have realized that indeed I am pretty. I’ve had a lot of privileges my childhood self could only dream of and it’s so surreal sometimes when I find myself in such situations. People letting me cut lines, lectures being less strict on me, getting free rides, free drinks, free meals… my inner child’s always says “so all this while you were indeed pretty”. It makes me teary sometimes. But with a background like mine, when I acknowledge that pretty privilege does exist, I’m all of a sudden deemed as self absorbed? Remember, human beings are fickle af and the number of things “pretty” people have gotten away with us astounding. There’s nothing in this world that would ever stop the effects in f pretty privilege as long as humanity still exists because obviously, humans like pretty things. (Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder btw) And the assumption that your dumb just because you’re pretty, VERY TRUE. It’s so surprising when I have conversations with males and they’re so surprised with the way I think. They usually say “I thought you weren’t like this, you know, smart”. You’re talking to a straight A student bro. Most of the time I use that assumption to my advantage. It’s time to stop with the victim mentality. You thought I was dumb just because I’m pretty, well I’m not gonna react and then your true self will literally show. I’m 23 now, still a virgin and have never had a boyfriend. Men mostly flock around you just to sleep with you mostly for your body or any other sexually inappropriate reasons, or just to boost their ego. It gets annoying and suffocating sometimes. I am black with very dark skin and I absolutely love my skin. No matter how you look, you should love yourself and if you think you need some improvement, totally up to your discretion. Don’t let the stereotypical beauty standards confuse you.
Yep I understand! My classmates in primary school compared my friend to the pretty girl from Scoopy Doo (I forgot her name lmao) and me to Velma and I wasn't even her body complexion💀
The disadvantages of pretty privilege are stalkers, relationships only for your looks or people that sexualize instead of care about your personality, there's jealousy from friends or strangers for something you can't control and treat you like shallow competition, the rate of being kidnapped or trafficked or exploited is higher because you're seen as "more desirable" to sell. If you think someone gets more attention generally, wouldn't that include a bunch of creeps too? Think about how many attractive people you've seen on 48 hours and why. There's also the pressure to maintain any beauty you have, because if you gain a pound or a pimple, people act like you're glowing down. In business opportunities, if people hire you based on appeal, they don't care about the brain and will treat you like a doll. Maybe, that attractive person also has an eating disorder or illness that makes them thin. Maybe, they have a narcissistic mom that forces beauty standards and that's the only way they find grace. Think of toddlers and tiaras or the stereotype of a pageant parent. Maybe, that attractive person used to look different and even after body changes, feels the exact same way internally. Thinking "pretty people don't have problems," your comment is exactly this point. there are disadvantages, you'd rather just not see them.
I've always been ugly. I'm still waiting for my "glow up" but I know it's too late for it to happen. It's not just about what privilege you get but if you're ugly you don't have any chance to have a family in the future. You're doomed to live alone, watching all your friends getting married. "I wanted to acknowledge that if people don’t have a sex life, it’s not for some moral reason, it’s just because they’re ugly. Once you’ve said it, it sounds obvious, but I wanted to say it." - Michel Houellebecq
i know it must feel that way but if you actually look at couples around you (or even online, but maybe less so there), you’ll see that people you may personally find ‘ugly’ are very much in relationships of their own. the process of dating or rejection may make it feel hopeless and humiliating but in reality conventional ‘ugliness’ is not THE deciding factor in love
There's TONS of ugly people in relationships and who have children, even ugly women. Though probably not much when younger. For those who truly want a family then eventually ugly men who can't find or keep a hot one will most likely lower their standards. But then you would have to also lower your standards if you have any. Standards in looks, possibly personality and the way you're treated, and probably money too. But it's very doable. Pay attention to the couples that are in their 30s+. You'll just have to wait for the low earning ugly guys to give up on the hot women. Some wise up sooner than others. If you want to start a family while still young then go for older guys 40s-50s. Imo the worst thing about being ugly, at least for women, is all the harassment we receive. Secondary to me is discrimination when job hunting. Not into romance, kids, etc.. But if I was then it's clear the easiest targets would be older men who are desperate. Of the few men who have hit on me they've all been older. Go for it!
Idk about that, If this was true, there wouldn't be ugly women married, and there are many. I have been talking to my dad a lot, and he knows about hookup and marriege, he always says that If you don't have one thing, just do something else, a lot of men like smart or religious women to marriege, and others like outgoing, slutty and fun women for hookup
I’m not a conventionally attractive person and at my former job they made it very clear to me that I was ”beneath them” because of it. My boss even told me that if it weren’t for my personality, he’d never have hired me since I don’t have the looks. My colleagues shunned me and none even cared to be friendly or even say ”Hello”. I was never invited to ”after work”-parties. I thought that maybe if I tried to climb the career ladder, they’d respect me more. I busted my a’ off and got promoted to manager but nothing changed except that they were not only mean but also refused to listen to me and complained whenever I asked them to do their job. I’m never gonna work in a social climate ever again.
is that u in the profile pic if so, UR LITERALLY SO BEAUTIFUL OMG, please do not listen to them and tbh u look like a conventionally attractive person so idk why they treated u like that pls never listen to what other people think.
@@itsizrasroblox Thank you so much❤️ I’m glad I got out of there. It’s frightening how some people can be that shallow. They even rejected customers that they considered to be ”ugly” or ”fat”.
@@juliel3460i m so scared y'all if you ugly then what am i??😂😂 But honestly i just think they were trying to tear you down cause you very pretty never doubt that
It's a sad reality. When I was in school (before i went homeschooled) I was harassed, the butt of the joke, made fun of and I had to sit there and take their shit because they were above me. I tried telling the teachers and they'd tell me they'd handle it but just let them off the hook because they were considered attractive, and yknow attractive people cant be "bad" people.
They were never above you btw you just hadn't discovered how to love yourself in spite of people's opinions. I remember how much I used to endure as a young kid at boarding school before I had my glow up and started living extremely well. Sometimes I see those same people on social media all grown up and I feel indifference. Their lives look pretty boring and unremarkable to me. Most of these people that made fun of you peak in school
you may not agree with me, but it seems to me that pretty privileges exist as long as you allow other people to treat you in this way. I believe that when a person can stand up for her/his personal boundaries, she/he will not be treated badly because of her/his appearance or anything else. While even a beautiful person can be offended if others know that he/she will not be able to answer. I want to believe that every person deserves to love themselves, their appearance and be loved (as long as they have not committed anything criminal or immoral)
Wow, now that's a messy situation! Idk if your self esteem is well after all of that, having some psicology study is very good for mental health, I really recomend ❤️ (My fonts are mostly in portuguese, so I don't have much to recomend)
As a man, I had pretty women be offended that I treat them equally as average ones. I have seen this with my own eyes with men too. Some of the younger women at work treat unattractive men worse than the tall and good-looking ones. Attractive people are often overestimated in competence and intelligence. We're all biased to some extent, and this is the cold hard truth. Man or woman, it doesn't matter. Maybe pretty privilege would not be such a prevalent thing if we treated people fairly? A pretty girl once told me: You said no to buying me credits for my sim card???? wow. I'm not used to that!
that’s interesting thanks for sharing. i left some comments about my experiences being mistreated as an attractive woman. on the flip side i will say that yes i do most times get treated much better than my peers by men. however i have to say when a man treats me regular it makes me feel very safe and calm. i feel like there’s not an ulterior motivate and i get a sense of relief. i think what you’re doing is the right thing to do. i’m sure to a certain extent it’s just natural to treat someone you find attractive “special” but at the end of the day nobody deserves more or less because of the way they are born looking.
It's actually biological! Like any other species, the more symmetrical and balanced (or attractive) someone looks externally, it's a sign that their genes are good for reproducing. It can indicate things like intelligence, ambition, passion, (Or at least thats what we think) when someone is "pretty." It overall indicates genetic superiority. But most "pretty" people are f*ckin crazy, or driven crazy by the expectations we hold them to.
Well said buddy i am also a male and when i just used to work in japan as a receptionist some people would ask me to switch my shift with the other guy who was more attractive so that people would get more comfortable to talk to the attractive one.
Also - the pretty privilege that comes with being neurotypical is so real. Why? Because us neurodivergent people often have things like weird fidgeting, not being self confident, usual ways we hold our bodies, different types of walks, etc Then also people with Down syndrome and other illnesses, and in general people that don’t „behave gracefully“ - somehow that’s considered ugly and weird
Well, to be 100% honest. I am neurodivergent but once participated in scientific research that classified me in the top tier most beautiful woman in the world and my pretty privilege balances a lot of the negative effects of neurodiversity out for me. For example: people let you get away with a lot more, and since I also mess up a lot due to my struggles that’s a big advantage. People are also always surprised to hear I have ADHD when I tell them because ‘I got it all going on’ or ‘I look so well put together’. Subconsciously, I learned early on that caring about your looks may be especially important if you are neurodivergent and it became my greatest coping mechanism. In other words: don’t assume you can’t be perceived as attractive just because your brain might work differently than society likes to see. And yes, pretty privilege is partly created. Taking good care of yourself and carrying yourself well will also give you benefits no matter your actual looks! Good luck , hope you feel better about yourself soon 😘
I want to emphasize that I was extremely unconfident about my looks growing up with self esteem that was lower than low. But that I worked really hard on making sure I looked my best and feel as confident as possible since it really can help me with part of the challenges I face (not all of course). So don’t feel bad if you feel the same way as I felt and please know that you can change how you look, how you feel about your looks and most importantly: how you feel about yourself is always possible!!
I have autism and ADHD and I observed that even amongst disabilities there are the "good" and "bad" ones. For exemple epilepsy, down syndrome, and severe autism are generally bad ones and even worse if you are unattractive. But mild autism and ADHD are good if you are pretty. It's almost like we have to make up for our disabilities by being cute.
I’m at the last year of high school, and I think I’ve accepted that people will always go out of their way to make me feel horrible about my ugly face/body. But I’m learning to always be good because of it. I refuse to be a source of negativity in this world. I want others to feel that they won’t be judged by me. I’m willing to go the extra mile, I know I’ll make it in this world if I work hard ❤
I grew up in an abusive home and didn't get to take care of myself much. I didn't eat or move properly and I was always weak and never put together. Once I was able to start taking care of myself even in the smallest way possible people starting treating me better. I was now considered "pretty". I was still in a that bad home situation and whether I was withdrawn socially for a few days or I didn't do well on a test I was told by people "jokingly": "it's okay you're pretty". People started kissing up to me and boys started flirting with me. I also struggled with c-PTSD which the unwanted attention would always send me into flight or flight mode. Another thing that I want to say as a survivor of DV and SA is that pretty privilege can only get you so far. It is an important thing to talk about because it really clouds people's judgment and leads them away from the reality of things. There were so many people who were showering me with attention yet when it came to the reality of my abuse, the signs were so obvious and I received no help. All of those people and not one person wanted to help me. I'm still so mad that as a society we don't put the human issues first instead of getting stuck up in the ruse of image. Whenever I mustered up the courage to explicitly tell someone about the abuse I was going through they would just laugh and ask me what I could possibly be dealing with and when I finally thought I met someone that actually cared about me, it turned out all he cared about was my face and my body. Pretty "privilege" exists and it's hurting everyone. Deep down we are ALL beautiful and all worthy of being loved, even beauty is subjective. What I find beautiful over looks is strength, resilience, passion, love. That is what makes a person truly beautiful.
Being poor or abused plus beautiful while female is a curse because people have to wade through ‘how do I want to use them/how am I jealous of them’ while trying to ‘help’ you
I was picked on in middle school for being ‘ugly’ but now I’m considered attractive and in a way it’s very tiring as an introverted person. I’m not bragging because it’s a lot of pressure on me to look good all the time and look so good that people are always complimenting me. Not only that, it was tiring speaking to all of those boys at the same time and now I figure out all of them wants to sleep with me. To be completely honest with you, being considered attractive with people wanting you and being complimented based off of looks then not getting compliments like that anymore ruins you mentally. It ruins you so bad you can’t feel good about yourself unless you wear one hairstyle, wear this certain type of makeup, wear this or do that. It’s so damaging when you don’t get compliments, you begin to go back to your old self in middle school. It’s draining when you don’t have traction around you anymore and nobody really wants you.
They really only wanted your physical exterior anyway so did they ever really want the ACTUAL YOU? Self esteem cannot be based solely on how people percieve your looks. You need something with more substance with which to build your confidence on. External validation is fleeting and flimsy as you cannot control how other percieve you constantly. Inner acceptance of yourself will always be key
@@tessy28 thank you, I’m currently working on it aswell as not caring about others opinions with daily affirmations. I grew up with different likes from the other kids my age so I was already separated from them and I am because they have their own lives. I’ve came to the realization that a lot of people only want one thing from me which helps me a lot to not get my heart broke. Thank you though ❤️
what does this comment even mean? why are u pressured to look good? do u naturally not look good or what? and suddenly when u don’t ur scared if that? compliments doesn’t mean anything at all. idk what ur trying to say.. u said u “look attractive” ur an “introvert” and that u don’t like the pressure yet u still wanna look good? just don’t be fake
I lost my pretty privilege, I started getting acne and I also gained a bit of weight too The way people treat me now is nothing like they used to treat me Like most people act Like they don’t even recognize me
It depends on the country too. In South America for example, where most of us have brown or black hair, and brown eyes, if a blonde person with blue or green eyes passes by they're instantly considered beautiful and people treat that person as if they were superior.. it's amazing to me and I don't understand it (I prefer people more representative of my indigenous roots) but it's real!! There's a lot of racism in our countries 😣 so maybe in other countries with more blonde population is about the bone estructure and all that you mentioned, but in countries like mine being blonde with light eyes is 'more than enough' 🙄
@@lianadotjpegi am from Europe and blonde hair with light eyes does have a real halo effect. Here if you have brown hair you have to be exceptionally beautiful to be considered attractive, but if you are blonde with average features you will still be considered prettier than the brunette with better facial bone structure. I believe it is like this all over the world. I have brown hair and brown eyes and it is very hard to date cause guys dont actually have a crush on me, they only want to date me when they are extremely desperate for someone.
@@ssk363 I am French and I strongly disagree, you're considered pretty if you have a pretty face and a nice body, being blond for most people I know has nothing to do with attractiveness
You see, my best friend is a model. In fact, I introduced her to modeling. I also got her a job as a waitress and when she left, I got her job. Neither of us had experience and we both did the best we could, we both made mistakes too, sure, but the clients were happy with us. The boss used to talk so good about her and I never saw her being rude to my friend. But she was the rudest person to me, she even insulted me in front of everyone. My friend also made way more tips. What is the difference? Beauty. When my friend was there, there were a LOT more (male) customers. She could do everything wrong, but it was okay, because she was pretty. I grew up ugly and now I don't really know how to describe myself. As an adult, only one person who wasn't sane once called me ugly. I've also been called pretty, but no one approaches me, just some creeps. So I'm confused. The only thing I know is that I am not a model at all. When we are together it is like comparing Emilia Clarke (pretty) with Adriana Lima (stunning). And when we're both with other people, all their attention is on her, and only her, especially guys. Even once, one didn't even realize I was there until my friend told him, and he said, "oh yeah, you're there. Hello. Well, as I was saying...". And it feels so bad. I'm even starting to feel uncomfortable around her because of this. I know it's not her fault, and I love her, she's like my sister, but it feels so painful to see how everyone treats her compared to how they treat me... And that will never change. Pretty privilege is too real. Honestly, I'd rather be treated as dumb than not treated at all.
It's a test to learn to love yourself no matter what outsiders think. Once you have, you'll get the same treatment, but by then, you won't even care. ❤
@@esca.1530So true. That's why I can't stand that kind of advice. It's as if the treatment we receive from others depends solely on our behavior. Society won't change with me just because I don't care what they think. Sorry if I seem rude.
I remember being told I was “ugly” for having a “manly” face as a kid, only for angular faces to now be a trend as “buccal fat removal.” I also finally learned which hair styles fit me (medium length hair) makeup (natural) and how to dress for my bodytype (kibbe and color season theory.) I also began eating healthier and lost weight, and this just made the sharpness in my face more prominent + dressing more “pointedly” feminine in a way that didn’t feel like a costume. I spent very little money aside from canned veggies and learning how to style my clothes. I’d spent maybe $20 thrifting every 3 months and rewearing cloths I felt good in. People tend to treat me better because of the way I look, and despite dressing more alternative people perceive me as a nice person. But I feel I have to put a tiny bit more effort into how I look to appear attractive, so I ended up learning to like that “less” attractive version of myself. But also, it does get annoying when guys never actually want to be your friend and are deceiving you.
I never realized pretty privilege until I have a super pretty friend, when we were at high school last year, people were always trying to be friend with her (girls and boys), when people were talking while I was with here, they were only watching at her etc. But there are some disadvantage, there is a boy who always try to talk to her even if she rejects him, he said he was capable to wait for years to have her and marry her etc
Yea I experienced that too , like imagine people doesn’t even mind saying hi to me when I’m with her they just wanna talk with her only , I felt sometimes uncomfortable with her ,and sometimes kinda jealous and I wondered why is she well treated she is not smart or good. At school or have a good personality what makes her that special
@@k1ttyst4bb3r6 si t'es française je vais répondre en français je vais pas me casser la tête, mais ouais c'est chiant la différence de traitement. Quand des gens lui parlent ils la regardent qu'elle et ils font comme si t'existait pas. Mais en vrai essaye de faire un travail sur toi meme surtout si tu te sens mal en sortant avec elle, ou soit tu t'éloignes. Franchement cette année faut que j'essayes d'avoir le pretty privilege
@@cacachie7220 en gros je ne suis pas belle comme elle , je fait la moyenne , mais bref la meuf elle est ni intelligente ni rien du tout , je l’ai invité à mon anniv. , elle a pris toutes les attentions , vraiment ça m’a fait mal , mais en gros je ne suis plus pote avec elle pas pour raison de beauté mais car elle est hyper gâté avec tout le monde et elle n’arrête pas de faire comme si elle était la reine du monde
I realized that most people with pretty privilege have good style and fashion, so that's probably why that catch people's attention aside from their face
It is easier to have a good style and fashion sense as a pretty person, because more outfits look great on you/ fit your body type, you just need to learn to consider your complexion, and to combine things properly in your outfit. People with some extreme features in their body and face have fewer choices, and their main consern is usually hiding/masking the "ugly" feature.
you’ll be ridiculed if you wear a stylish outfit as an ugly person people will say that it doesn’t fit you or that you think too much of yourself or will just silently think that you’re weird
9:03 this part breaks my heart. i wish you didn’t feel like that. i think you are so beautiful, seriously. not only your looks, beautiful complexion and gorgeous smile but your personality just shines girl! there’s so many “conventionally attractive” people out there who may be beautiful on the outside but have the personality of a doorknob lol. ❤
And sorry but being unconventionally attractive doesn't mean your life will be perfect or the best. Plenty of pretty people living shit lives. 😂 It definitely helps to be seen as pretty but that doesn't mean you won't get used and abused out in the world. The world is a cruel mistress.
@@tessy28 so true. Plus its more like "not ugly" privilege, if you look average Good facial harmony, fairly fear skin, normal weight (which this ytber has) you get almost all these so called privileges (minus the free model/influencer stuff, which really shows how internet centric this term is as so many beautiful people in real life dont get free products) The only people who can really experience life without this privilege are those with issues like obesity, cystic acne, physical disabilities or some other glaring physical "flaw" who are underestimated, misunderstood and belittled constantly. Beauty is measured by "averageness" and almost all people who complain about being treated unfairly or poorly because they're average somehow never wonder whether its not their looks but something else..
this is so real. instant sub as someone who went from extremely "ugly" to mildly "pretty" in the span of a few years and is still experiencing "growing into myself", it's a lot of small things that you only notice once you become "easier on the eyes" (such a gross expression imo, but to me it perfectly encapsulates how once people find you less "displeasing to look at" they treat you better as if you've earned the right to be in their presence just by being better-looking) like not being able to make friends easily when you're "ugly", being chosen last for everything (which was a minor thing, but that WOUNDED my elementary school heart 😢), being ignored in a lot of things where your prettier friends aren't, people listening to you and flocking to you once you're "pretty", people actually noticing you and of course, more male attention after you "glow-up". I only noticed these things after my initial "ugliness" faded, and it makes me wonder how many of my friends wouldn't have existed if I was "uglier," and wonder if the guys who now show interest in me would have treated me worse before i was "pretty". i've heard people compare beauty to the bait on a fishing hook, and that your personality is what's supposed to reel people in, but that's not completely true. in my experience, going from "ugly" to "pretty" is like growing up in poverty and then coming into sudden wealth, and really shows you how shallow the rest of the world is. i'm endlessly thankful that I was fortunate enough to experience this "glow-up", it taught me the bittersweet lesson that i wasn't the problem, my face was 😭😭and that concludes my ted talk thank you for making this video, and btw, you are so pretty! you are the epitome of sunshine vibes, and your features give you a natural warmth and yin beauty that is just gorgeous ♥
I grew up ugly and am above average in looks as an adult. I think it's a great middle ground. People aren't harassing me, but people are really kind to me. Which is great because I'm married.
In my tweens I was ugly and when I was a child I was considered pretty and treated better with more pretty privilege by my guy friends than my other two friends with black eyes and brown hair cause I was older, taller and blue eyed Now I’m a teen and I’m pretty again and yeah
I’ve had some pretty crazy experiences with pretty privilege, I think people who say it’s a curse are lying to themselves. Just 2 months ago I had 2 random men cover me and my friends bill of over $500 at a spa just because he thought we were cute. Sure maybe the attention from creepy men is unwarranted and having guy friends that only want to get with you is unnerving but their are plenty of benefits to being considered attractive in many settings
I was heavily pregnant and eating breakfast with my son. I asked for the bill, and the waitress said “your bill was already taken care of”. I looked around and didnt see women in sight, only men sitting alone, with friends, reading newspapers, drinking coffee. Yup agreed.
i think when people say it’s a curse they’re speaking about the scarier parts of it like being harassed, people not respecting you, your boundaries or invalidating your opinions because they assume you “can’t relate” or that you’re unqualified.
It actually is scary when men do things like that often. Most are expecting something in return. And you never know who’s going to be offended and get aggressive if they don’t get what they want since then paying for you was transactional. I’m from Philly and the amount of men that grab and touch me while I’m out is disgusting. I’m about to be 27 and it’s happening less as I get older, and I feel a sense of relief when I do go somewhere and no one approaches me offering to pay.
@@Yosoydom literally, i'm confused about people's shallowness... I literally always wear super baggy and big clothes and keep an angry face and fast pace while walking the streets to not get any attention. I'm not necessarily the most gorgeous person ever, but I'm quite pretty and I have a unique look in my area. It can make going for a walk the most depressing and upsetting and downright scary thing ever. i'm so thankful the amount of times people bother me has also dwindled over the years, this is not the life I signed up for, you know. I am not interested in some feelings of vanity when receiving a compliment or a tip from a creepy man
I’ve said it’s a curse for me personally, because I’ve been sexualizas since I was a kid and graped twice. So many people underestimate my intelligence and the fact that I actually have interests other than makeup and looking pretty. I’ve been harassed in the streets by random people because they just don’t see me as a real person. Whenever I try to talk about my struggles in life like the aforementioned grape and physical abuse I experienced I’m told that I made it all up because I probably have nothing to relate to and want to be a part of the conversation. I literally can’t be a normal human being. I have to always smile and act happy because everyone around me quickly turns on me when I’m not. In high school a bunch of girls (when I transferred to a new school) wanted to jump me because some of their guy friends talked about me to them. I was labeled a bitch and whore despite just moving to NY and not knowing anyone. Although I get nice things like extra or free meals, and ppl willing to do some tasks for me, I’d much rather lose that if it meant I would be harassed and specialized so much at a young age just because some people can’t control themselves when it comes to “pretty people” now that I don’t have as much pretty privilege I would much rather be called ugly and be able to evolve and show my true self and abilities/skills then be called beautiful and not given a chance to evolve far past my looks, no matter how much I try.
I may be weird but I can't say anyone is attractive/pretty until I get to know them and their values. I can say someone has a good style or physique or certain pretty features, but I can't call them pretty based on looks alone. I definitely know the is a body weight stigma and now being 30lbs heavier people treat me very differently and ironically I like and accept myself now more than ever. Society is brainwashed so I try not to put much weight on what the masses have to say and don't care to be around people that are skin-deep.
I just got a huge crush on a guy because I heard him talk about theology kkkkkkkk, that's so true! There's no way of imagining a nice situation with anyone only based on looks
@@selkie-aine Yes, but some of us don’t really see a person’s true beauty till we get to know them. I was bullied for most of my life, so even if a person is super pretty, I will automatically see them as ugly if they have bully tendencies. I don’t consciously do it. It’s like a switch in me gets turned off, and that person is no longer pretty to me. I think it’s a type of coping mechanism tbh.
Samee i have the feeling we r in the minority of thinking this way, what i dont understand. I see everyone as equal, but when i get too know them i will see them as more beatifull or ugly it doesnt matter how they look like.
We all grow older. Some age beautifully and gracefully but what he's likely referring to is youthful beauty. That doesn't last forever PLUS you always want to be able to survive on your own and definitely on more than just your aesthetic.
Remember being pretty doesn’t always come with privilege. A lot of people who are stunning are treated like trash because they don’t have confidence, they’re bullied by other women out of jealousy and teased by boys who can’t regulate their emotions. Not having privilege doesn’t mean you’re ugly. You might just be pretty with the bad end of the stick. I’ve always thought I was ugly until many of the people who bullied me turned out to either have a crush on me or be jealous of me because I was “so nice and so pretty”. Don’t be harsh on yourself guys.
That is so true. Looking back at my younger self, I can see a lot of people who treated me awful were jealous and I didn’t know how to handle it. I was always accused of flirting with my friend’s boyfriend’s which was the last thing I ever intended. I would have never and nEver stole a boyfriend. Not having confidence at the time, these girls really tore at my already bruised self esteem. You get attention that you don’t want and attract people you don’t want to and truly I never liked the feeling of being pretty making others feel bad about themselves.
@@Badfilms-u6j same. I hate how people keep bringing up pretty privilege - it's actually insulting to tell someone their life is easier because theyre attractive. it's simply not true and just a sign these girls are seriously insecure. it's one more way for women to attack other women. i was bullied when i was younger constantly and couldnt keep friends because teenagers are so insecure - every conversation was considered me flirting and having guys like me meant a lot of girls would be mean to me. i dont see what the privilege here is when so many women are determined to bring another woman down, just because they're threatened by her looks. the bullying totally killed my self esteem and i still struggle with it. because i was considered attractive people would pick apart any small flaw they could find in me and its really made me hyper critical of myself.
as someone who was considered "ugly" in middle school and only recently started growing into my looks, it seriously damaged my mental health growing up with social media and comparing myself to ig models/girls on the internet. it got so much worse for me when I started high school, I started to compare myself to every other girl I saw, making myself feel better if I deemed them "less attractive" than me and completely breaking down/feeling extremely insecure around girls that I found were more attractive than me. at a certain point, I despised girls who I found more attractive than me and didn't even want to look at them. my dad would get annoyed with me because every time we'd go out I would glance at my phone camera every five minutes to see if I look okay. I'd feel physically uncomfortable/irritated if I felt I didn't look good enough. if I saw a pretty girl in public, I would compare myself to her and try my hardest to find just one small little flaw that I could feel better about. my mom didn't exactly help with this either, as she got older she would constantly point out her flaws to me and tell me how she "just needed" botox. I'm a junior in high school now, and while I'm still improving my insecurities with my therapist, this is sometimes a struggle for me. I really feel for other young women who feel similar or generally just feel insecure while existing. as long as we find happiness within ourselves, we'll be okay. 💜
i feel the same, it’s just that feeling inside of you that makes you want to disappear on the spot and you just feel like everyone is staring at you. I’ve also been struggling with my mental health and have been having some suicide thoughts but reading comments like this where I can relate to other people really helps
I have body dysmorphia. Dating is the scariest thing, I’m afraid to let anyone I like see me in my rawest form, and I feel like I can never enjoy myself completely, because I’m always worried about how I look. I don’t like going out much. If I do, I won’t even go out in public without makeup, & doing my hair no matter where I’m going..it’s exhausting, and expensive to deal with this. I spend most of my time and money trying to improve my look. Having this is a literal job. I don’t even wanna look like a supermodel, I just wanna be a basic good looking person, and do it up if I want. But my features are so unfitting, and ugly it’s ruining my life to where I don’t even wanna exist anymore. First thing people notice is your physical being, and that gives me anxiety.😢
@@Mel-so2rw i feel u completely and can relate to this hardcore 🥲 it’s just a matter of getting comfortable with ourselves. but ik it’s easier said than done. best of luck to u!
i’ll never forget the day a girl in my class a while ago told me “well at least you’re pretty” after i struggled to figure something out. It was basically a backhanded compliment.
Remember that beauty ALSO comes from behavior. I know so many pretty girls with pretty faces and bomb bodies with such nasty and unacceptable behavior, being bullies or just plain rude to anyone who they feel are beneath them (even their families and friends). That makes them less beautiful automatically, people that you wouldn't want to be with. Same with guys. So be confident, be kind and you will glow ♥
@pokemonRed1that's not true. There's a girl in my class who was the absolute worst to one of my friends, spreading some dumb rumour about her and she wasnalways hideous in my eyes. The other day I at opposite her and I looked at her for a moment. I never realised how pretty her face was. And I honestly feel that now I see how pretty she is I'm a little more irritated because she has an angelic face but she talks sh** and no one would know.
Pretty privilege is like complaining that you have to eat cake instead of bread. They literally don’t have to do anything to get what they want so they have no right to complain about that. It’s like complaining that you have too much money and you to worry every day what to spend it on. And saying the life of a poor person is soo much easier. This is absolutely disrespectful to people less privileged than them and not true at all. Pretty people have a way easier life compared to average looking people. There is no point in arguing that
What about all of the average looking people that are mean and jealous of them and try to ruin their lives? It is something they have to constantly worry about when they meet females.
@@jenn4593 Is still worth it in the end. I see no one afraid of becoming millionaire due to hsving to spend more on security. You have something people want and they hate it, they are not really mad at you but at how life for you is better then for them - you are in advantage, no other way around.
@@ebhojayejuliet9728 Or is just mad about how society treat pretty people like royalty and the narratives constructed to make normal folks feel better about not having it as easy. Is like the "lottery winners end depressed" trope.
@@ebhojayejuliet9728pretty girls are lazy people that are looking for a free ticket out of life instead of facing real life hardships. Pretty people lack realistic life experiences. And since things are handed to them they show they live in this world and don't care others are struggling. I would take Bella porch out of the equation, since she is pretty but she was abused all her life, on top of that she joined the navy to get her citizenship, but again most pretty people are in fact lazy.
Great video, and honestly I wish pretty privilege isn't seen in a certain box like "must have blonde straight hair with blue eyes, light skin, skinny, etc." because I've seen so many people of different race, skin tone, different hair types, different body types who I thought looks beautiful but due to beauty standard it eliminates others who is not considered the beauty standard in society and media. Plus it is insane to me there's an app that gives people free stuff 😅 I wonder if it's like a sponsorship.
well guess what blue eyes and blonde hair are not a beauty standard, as a blonde girl with light blue eyes my ex bestie was a girl with black hair and eyes and i was always compared to her and she had pretty priviledge but i did not because i was not considered attractive, i dont know where you are from but here in europe hair and eyes colour has no power it is about having a light tan, skinny and a pretty attractive face
I’m someone who’s like reaaaaally into personalities and if your personality is good then no MATTER how you look if you’re fun and outgoing I automatically like you idk how to explain it it’s like this overwhelming happiness I feel inside like if I met this person he/she will be nice to me. On the OTHER hand, man if your personality is shit, no matter what you do, how overwhelmingly pretty you are, how entertaining you are, I’ll automatically despise you. I just can’t handle people who think the world revolves around them and have the right to treat people as shitty as they want Just cause they got lucky with their looks smh Ps. You’re a really beautiful person, inside out : ) Keep up the good work. And have a wonderful day.
That's such a good point! Outgoing and nice people have theis "privilege" (God, I hate this word) as well, people crave good human interactions, beauty really doesn't do the job of a good conversation. Of course, in the matter of sex maybe this is important, but I'm not into hookup, so I don't have a saying in that
The thing is when you're pretty, people assume you have a good personality and the other way around when you're ugly. People are bery biased in general so you can be virtue signaling but I really doubt you're not influenced by people's looks.
I’ve always struggled with how I looked. I’ve struggled with my weight, even tho tbh it’s a healthy ish weight for a teenager growing into an adult female body. My problem is I like certain aspects of myself; I don’t actually hate all that much, but put together I can’t really stand myself. Tbh, I can see how social media has changed how I see myself. I can look in the mirror and think I look good, and then I open my phone and spiral down for several hours about how ugly I am. Social media is absolutely destroying self confidence in young people everywhere. Women especially, but men too. It’s easy to see someone naturally gorgeous say ‘just love yourself.’ They’re right, however that journey takes an entire lifetime. So, try and pick out a few things you like. Even if it’s not that obvious. Maybe you’re like me, you don’t like how your face looks, but you think your eyes are pretty. Small things like that make a difference. Everyone out there struggling, just know it’s worth it, and if you feel nobody else does, just know that I care :) Thank you for giving this long and messy comment a read.
Thanks for reading my comment :) Assuming you are an African-American, ( I promise this is going somewhere good ) it really makes me feel better about myself because you are almost as lightskin as me. I’m half black yet my skin is usually lighter than the average white person. Even though I have 4A hair, black propel say I’m too white, and white people just ask me for an N-word pass or touch my hair. Just seeing you being able to thrive and have a great channel gives me a little bit of inspiration. It’s nice to see others who kinda resemble me 😄🧡
Pretty privilege only lasts so long. I experienced pretty privilege in my 20's and now I'm in my late 40's I don't get treated the same. So don't on rely on pretty privilege cause that will eventually fade with time
This! I’m in the same boat. A few years from 40 but can see “the wall” coming. It’s honestly a very hard pill to swallow when people don’t treat you special anymore. I don’t care what anyone says. It is an adjustment.
i used to always get picked on for my freckles and my big eyebrows in primary school but near the start of high school i started having to take a medication for my ADHD and one of the side effects was weight loss. I suddenly lost a bunch of weight plus puberty hit me pretty hard and i suddenly had wide hips and a thin waist. everyone who used to pick on me just stopped and different people started complementing my freckles and my big eyebrows saying that they are unique features that i should be proud of 😭😭. mind boggling.
Sometimes it's not even that simple because men see you as a sexual object but not reliable or smart, other women see you as competition and despise you so.... You end up feeling alone!
That's sad, I had a terrible phase of not being able to apreciate beautiful women because of envy, It destroys what could be a nice friendship. I hope you can have some good friends in the future❤️❤️ if you can, have a good time with your parents or family :>
@@ashuranero5721 Who the hell is using men as ATMs and body shields? No woman I know personally. Maybe you're judging a whole gender based on a few bad apples and you hate it when women do the same.
i love the way you look, you‘re just amazingly beautiful naturally… it‘s crazy, i hope you‘re able to see it as well. also love your personality man… you got it all! thanks for this interesting video, i hope people start not giving a f and not wasting their time on even thinking about beauty standards cause in the end you‘ll realize that you should‘ve lived and experienced more instead of caring wayyy too much about the wrong thing. i know it can be hard but guys please try be grateful for your body and how it is there to serve you… try to appreciate it instead of wanting it to be different etc. return the love your body has given you through all your senses and the ability to taste food even, isn‘t it amazing?? wish you all the best guys i know it can be hard when you absolutely don‘t like what you‘re seeing on the mirror but keep remembering all the awesome things you‘re experienced with and through your body!
As I get older and look conventionally “better” every year, I realize just how poorly people treated me when I didn’t put socially enforced effort into my look and hid my true personality.
I find it pretty upsetting that mediocre white people or people of lighter complexion are deemed more attractive than a dark skin women. I think black women have to always keep up with their looks and maintain good attitude because of this, despite all of our efforts were still deemed as inferior just because of our skin tone
Speak for yourself. I’m a beautiful Nigerian young woman with kinky 4c hair. My confidence radiates out, and people notice. Do some hate it, yes, but others adores it.
My cousins who’re the golden children in my family had pretty privilege and are far more extroverted than me. I was avoided and bullied from self-absorbed students until I grew into my looks. Now that I’m older, people think me obsessing over niches like anime and whatnot is to attract others when they were the ones trashing on me for liking it when I didn’t match conventional beauty as a KID. I was called all sorts of horrendous things, body-shamed by my own relatives for being a chunky, and was the one treated poorly for trying to be happy in my own body. I don’t bother talking with most people unless they’ve earned the title “friend”, because if a V jawbone, bangs, and a skinny body became enough for people to discard my academic accomplishments and interest then I want nothing to do with them. People are pathetic 🤷🏽♀️
Yes this video was 2 months ago but I’m late to the game, but have to say this resonated with me. Since 18, pretty privileged has gotten me amazing opportunities. Promotions, bills paid, special treatment at events, getting backstage. Now, about to turn 40, it’s crazy how that goes away with your youthful looks fading. I’m still treated well because I’m sweet and feminine. But nothing is proactively given to me anymore and I don’t get more than what I pay for. Luckily I have an amazing fiancé so I don’t need anything from other men. But it’s definitely a wake up call when it comes to public situations. So I say, take advantage of your youth and good looks while you can!! I don’t regret any of it! And I ended up with a wonderful man in the end anyway!
I'm a software engineering student so in my case I think not having pretty privilege is an advantage. Sadly some still think that attractive women can't be intelligent especially when it comes to male dominated fields. People accept me as a 'nerd' easier if that makes sense. It's dumb :P
That’s interesting. I feel like with engineering, since it’s filled with a lot of nerdy people like us, then we can actually relate to the issue of pretty privilege. We get the thought that someone who is less attractive had to work harder than someone who didn’t since they had to overcome the bias of their unattractiveness. And I guess in engineering/software skills more measurable so it’s easier to tell.
Idk where I read this but in the scientific field, unattractive ppl are usually preferred because that means that they actually worked hard for the profession without any bias from their appearances (bcus of pretty privilege yk) while attractive ppl would be considered that they only reached their proffesion bcus of their pretty previlege. I know that this is not entirely true since you can also be intelligent while being pretty just saying. (Also sorry for my bad grammar, not my first language)
@@caaaaaaat_ Oh, interesting. I see where they are coming from but at the same time it must suck if you happen to be pretty and hardworking, yet people still think you got everything in your life because of your looks 😵💫 I've seen something similar a few times when it comes to minorities. "You got this job only because you're a woman/poc/lgbt and companies want to show that they support diversity." Meanwhile me who sits in a front of a computer almost all day doing projects or school work because I genuinely want to learn and do stuff that interests me well: 🗿👍 It's frustrating to hear. I'd be pissed if someone hired me because of my gender (or if I had pretty privilege, looks) after all that studying.
It's being skinny, I have experienced being skinny and overweight, and the way the contrast changed of people acting towards me is actually scary and sad. Trust me, guys will approach a skinny girl over an overweight one any day. Basically, just being skinny and wearing proper clothes can change your world when it comes to this.
Yeah in my country they would prefer an overwight white girl with blue eyes even if her features aren’t the best at all than a gorgeous girl with amazing features in a darker skin tone
I'm not sure if I have pretty privilege but I just want to say it is actually incredibly hard fighting off constant advances from people you trust, years of it damaged my mental health and I needed a lot of therapy because of it. I would have guys at parties talk about me in really hideous ways to each other and they would do things to me that I didn't want, one of them even said that it's hard to not R word me out loud at a party. I had multiple girls try to ruin my life and lie to me and about me, and when I fought back they would say that I'm just manipulating them with my looks. It was extremely hard on me and no one deserves it. Now I am healed but it really did take years of my life away.
im super scared of pretty privilege. i grow up being the ugly kid. still to this day im struggling with self esteem because i still feel like the ugly kid. I'm really scared that ill get treated as bad as i did as a kid and teenager when im starting work. im not even like jealous, i just get so sad that i find myself so utterly ridiculous looking. everyone is just always prettier than me. healing takes time☹️
I feel like there are cons of being attractive, I like how I look but 2 main things: 1)any jealous/competitive girls, literally had to tell a girl in my college Chem class to stop following me and trying to correct me on every mistake. She had an attitude from day 1 w me but laughs super loud at guys jokes. This is not the 1st time. I’d like more gfs but maybe it’s personality, maybe cattiness, it’s hard. Maybe I’m reaching w her, but my class friend saw the same thing. 2) men being super nice until they get the memo you’re not sleeping w ‘em. They get so bitter and sour, it just shows you they never had genuine intentions w you. These 2 experiences can make you feel alienated sometimes and objectified (by the men). Not denying pros, but there are cons 100%.
I mean I don’t mind being pretty and getting special treatment. I am always treated softly especially by men regardless of their age. But hey I have seen some pretty girls and having a really bad personality. THAT doesn’t get you very far. If you’re pretty then be kind too and work on your intelligence too.
I was considered an ugly girl in middle school because of my lack of an hourglass figure, body hair, and glasses. Some people made fun of me (mainly this Indian boy that pointed out my sideburns) but most people brushed me off in favor of more attractive people, and this was especially hard when I crushed on boys. Fast forward to high school, and I guess I had a glow up? Not really, considered I didn't change much of my appearance, just grew more into my looks. My body hair and glasses were still there, but there were three guys that liked me throughout high school. And this became even more apparent when I actually did something with my looks in senior year. If I wore a dress, straightened my hair, and lost the glasses (no contacts, went in blind), I was NOTICED. Prom night was the epitome of this. I had a dress that accentuated my slim figure, had straight hair with bangs, had some makeup, and lost the glasses. Now, I don't remember this (because I was blind), but my friends told me that SO MANY guys noticed me that night, even thought about asking me out. And all this attention made me feel uncomfortable. Like now that I did something with my looks, I'm worthy of male attention? No, I didn't like that. I want someone to want me for me, not because of my looks, and being between average and pretty (closer to average), I think gives me a bit of an advantage on that. It may not seem like it, but it gives me comfort. All those years of insecurity have given me a hard shell against guys, warding off the bad ones. Hopefully a guy does see beyond that hard exterior.
Guys can definitely like your personality and create a deep bond but only after they are 100% sure they are attracted to you when you present your most feminine self. Men are attracted to femininity which is partly beautification. Then they don’t care as much during the relationship if you dress down or wear glasses because they know they desire you. It’s similar to the initial irrational attraction girls feel towards a guy when he accomplishes something important for a team (sports, work performance, heroic acts etc). Perhaps the same girl might not be attracted to the same guy meeting under different circumstances (he’s in a slump, depressed, unmotivated) but these things may not stop her attraction once she is his girlfriend who has also seen him win before and already believes in him.
One notable disadvantage for pretty people, specifically women, is I imagine the aging process is much more difficult. I already dont get much attention from men so that's not something I'll lose getting older, but they will. Not that I think it's particularly men's attention that women want (or vice versa), but it is maybe the most quantifiable metric of your desirability. going from society thinking youre attractive to unattractive must be very hard to accept, especially since aging isn't something you can do anything about and the effects will only compound as you get older
I applied to a job at a university after I graduated from college. It was a position working closely with students so I thought that me being close in age with the students would be beneficial because I could relate better to than than someone whose been out of college for years. Nope. The hiring manager told me that he was worried about hiring me because I am too “young and attractive” and he thought I’d have ethical issues by being hit on by the students… I’m sure that’s not the only reason why I wasn’t hired. I’m sure there were more qualified people, but that still hurt
I have a friend who's told constantly how pretty she is but unfortunately has a major teeth issue. She sufferred through bulimia for several years as a ballerina so now her front teeth are black at the sides and one of her molars is broken and u can see inside the gaping whole. Shes still waiting to get her teeth done but she cant smile in fear of people mocking her. Due to th vomiting shes underweight and due to her high metabolism shes trying so hard to gain. When some of the girls at school found out about her teeth issue they would bring it up any time people interested in her were around, even asking her why she wont smile with her teeth more since she looks so pretty, humiliating her time and time again. I actually feel really bad for her because its takin a toll on her self esteem and because of her beauty, girls will pick up on imperfections to degrade her with as soon as the opportunity presents itself. As someone who personally knows her, shes been struggling with her health for years, all she wants is to be able to smile again, and gain healthy weight. She cant even open her mouth too much or it will show and she cries about it all the time. She threw up all the time to fit an impossible standard of skinny but now her smile and weight are affected.it sucks.
Nice video. Pretty privilege is a topic I've been thinking a lot about over the past few years. I was always told I was "pretty" growing up, (especially by my mom) and everyone always told me that I should be a model so I never thought about doing anything else except for modelling. I've been modelling for almost 10 years now and I just wonder what kind of life I would have had growing up if people didn't tell me what they think I should do based on my looks. I was also bullied throughout elementary school and middle school by girls I thought were my friends, my mom always told me that they were jealous but I really didn't understand why because to me, they were the "pretty" ones that had everything I didn't and I knew I wasn't a mean person. I really hope one day people won't care so much about surface level things, especially looks.
I would still choose being pretty than being ugly even with the negative sides of pretty privelage, pretty much everything s better than being completely invisible.
Broo i I was about to fail a class i was devastated i was dying inside and a girl came to comfort me and she said” you are pretty” 💀. Girl i wish my prettiness could do something about this problem
Honestly, as a black girl who gets most of her features from her father, and looks at her features being more "masculine" - I've kinda accepted that I'll never be considered beautiful. At least not by the eyes of society. I think the beauty standards for black women-honestly all WOC-are unfairly high. I have more things I hate about my appearance than things I love about my appearance. I'm almost 19 and I'm still stuck in this "I think I'm ugly" stage. Social media definitely hasn't helped either, but I'm slowly learning to distance myself from it all.
i was scouted by a modeling agency at the age of 13 as a young, insecure girl. i would have never even think about a modeling career before BUT *spoiler alert* since then i haven’t started to feel more beautiful or confident (cause im like compared to other models every single time at the castings, critisized about my body etc ) the only thing that changed - was that my friends became mean, envious, isolated me and talked behind my back all the time. i know that many of yall want to say „aww you poor thing🧍🏻♂️…ok, anyways so” but THIS type of treatment is what really hurts me. people saying things like „when i see her, i want to fight her” when im like literally just having a good time, doing no harm to anybody, drama free. like i get it, we all sometimes are jealous but omg just chillll. i almost feel like they „suffer” when i suceed/ im happy. don’t get me wrong, i do realize pretty privilege exists, im grateful for what i have, but it’s annoying that people call others „pick me” or „diva” just because they are enjoying themselves and happen to be pretty. any kind of prejudice is wrong. we do not have a soul, we are a soul and have a body ;) hope you have a great day ★
Dear lord the amount of times catty girls were vicious and wanted to fight me was exhausting and it still happens from time to time. I pretty much expect for a group of girls to not like me in big gatherings because it was so normal to me growing up
The problem is that people can't accept others having something they don't have. I'm an avarage girl, a solid 6, and this is normal, beauty is not my gift, but I'm very smart, diligent, and I can talk and sing well in public. I'm not cute, I'm not a sportist, I'm a catholic nerd, and I've never had issues with that. The problem is, If I wanted to have It all, I would be envious of the sport girls and of the pretty girls, because I'm unthankfull of the gifts I already have, and that's a problem! Sometimes personal issues may make envy show up, I was in a toxic relationship, and because of that, I cold NEVER apreciate the beauty and the gifts of black and curvy women, because my ex always told me he liked that type of body, not mine. Maybe the people on your school had their own demons to fight, but when It's gone, being nice to someone and apreciating their worth ❤️❤️❤️ I hope you're good now :>
Some people have no gifts, so them feeling miserable is not really a bad thing, "just work on yourself" is a tone deaf advice( if you were going to respond to me with that), the thing is people who are dealt bad hand at life will or are more likely to be envious and miserable, I can understand the mindset, as I am not gifted at anything, it is just insecurity and jealousy, you cant really win at anything in life, always taking Ls, people might feel like that because of insecurity but being mean to you isn't nice, idk can't really advocate for being nicest person, when I myself am very insecure and jealous, but I won't really be mean to anyone, but I won't be genuine either. Can't fathom being genuine when been given shit in every department.
Pretty privilege is so real and heavy on social media especially on TikTok or Instagram. I get so caught up on comparing myself with other creators who have the looks and the body and I know I wouldn’t get close to the views because looks so matter unfortunately
once you delete this toxic crap, then you’ll understand the most unhappy and mentally disturbed human beings care THAT much about physical appearance. it’s a disorder. comparing yourself to others is like the deer comparing itself to zebra. NO POINT. someone would think zebra is more unique and pretty than the deer. i personally think the deer is more majestic. the variety of human beings is what make them humans. we’re slowly turning into robots nowadays
I grew up “ugly, ugly” and I am still ugly but not as much and now a guy is calling me cute and things and I am just like “Me? Why are there so many pretty sexy girls around us and you come up to me ?” it felt so weird and I don't want a relationship because I grow up my whole life believing no one wants me and it was probably a bet between him and his friends.
I have friends that all look like supermodels - I will say, I’ve seen the dark side. They’ve often been victims of crime and men will follow and stalk them… for no reason. And honestly the worst trauma I’ve ever seen. And I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
This! No one talks about the dark side of being attractive. Also girls being bxtchy to you for no reason and seeing you as competition. Ive had more male friends my whole life because its impossible to be friends with most women.
being average is great. you don't get the negative attention an ugly person would but you also don't get the overwhelming amount of positive attention a pretty person would. my anxiety is bad so i hate it when strangers notice me, looking average just lets me exist in peace
i’ve noticed that ever since i’ve had glow ups and now that i have pretty privilege it’s a lot different. my lifestyle has changed too and i see that my personality is more out there if that makes sense. there’s just so many things that go into play. i was never really “ugly” before but i was definitely average. even if i have pretty privilege i can still be pretty insecure but i make sure to constantly work hard on my body and face to achieve what i want. i understand what it was like before and how it was to be the nerdy quiet girl, but i don’t like it when people say you are so lucky to have that body and such. you have to work hard too, but for facial structure and bones, i do think i am lucky in some capacity of that. but genuinely for me, i do treat people pretty neutral, unless i have some judgment on them for a reason. you can look pretty or handsome but have a horrible personality. but i think peoples judgment these days are just followed up by what others say or don’t take in things into consideration. but then again i’m not perfect and we do have our mistakes.
A while ago I realized that I had pretty privilege, and it just pisses me off. I got a glow up over one summer and it was just so weird how I felt like everybody treated me differently. I wouldn't like to call myself ugly, but I would say I was very unattractive when I was younger, and I was treated rudely, and over all nasty. But I guess after I started caring about my looks or something I got a glow up and it was just so weird because people started treating me nicely, people wanted to be friends with me... all this BS because I was prettier. All the rude nicknames vanished, and it was just disgusting looking back at it.
Yes. Unfortunately, pretty privilege is a thing. I am pretty myself but I am a very kind hearted soul. After 23 years of marriage and a daughter, I divorced. Never looking for another person, I am in my mid 40s with grey hair and found a 33 year old who is a famous gamer who is handsome is now my husband. I can't help how I look but my heart is full of compassion. I cry at almost everything. Every day I count my blessings. Looks may help get you in the door but it's your personality that men really fall in love with.
I'm a biological girl, but I look like a boy. I had really long hair but I looked like a trans person. I cut my hair short and EVERYONE thought I was a dude. I had this girl in 5th start hitting on me because she thought I was a dude. I am currently crying while writing this, someone please give me some tips on how to be pretty.
Being androgynous is a great gift and i know people around you will make you feel like it’s a curse but it isn’t!!! Eventually when you find the look that makes you happy you’ll realize you are unique and fantastic and being so different has its perks. But i wish you the best and wish you have lots of emotional growth until then😭 hang in there!! P.s. even now that i have long hair and wear feminine things, people still ask me “what are you” as in girl or boy. Some people want to categorize you so THEY feel better. Its not that you actually appear as a boy
As a conventionally attractive girl, I don’t have any male friends. My experiences have made me paranoid about their intentions with me and even female friends (real ones) are hard to develop.
I can now understand why Society is regressing. I have encountered different types of privilege and by far they are all beastly primitive. All are culpable, and I for one choose to think so as to not be part of the problem.
This makes me wanna cry :( When my friends start complaining about being cataloging, i was like "whats that?!" It was a forgien concept to me, im 22 and i in my life time i got catcalled maybe thrice by old men when i was a kid. No one asked me out, (2 guys asked me as a joke/dare (separately)). I relate to incels way more than i relate to average women, sadly cuz they're misogynistic even them they dont accept me lmao. I hate myself, but mistake that as i would let ppl walk over me or treat me with anything but respect, but ppl have a problem with that, apparently asking for getting basic human respect as an ugly person is too much to ask for. :( ihml
I think the moment I stopped idealizing beauty is the moment I realized that working on yourself & struggling with shit is not something you can just skip by being beautiful/rich/famous.
I'm glad you're touching on this topic. I'm a guy and yeah I like to see attractive people. BUT when I scroll through videos and I see an interesting video. Sometimes I click on it to see what they have to say. If I think they spent time on the subject I get interested. BUT when I scroll through and see videos on the subject that I am interested in and the first thing I see is they're behind or they wear something skimpy and showing off their boobs or if they seem to be seductive I don't watch it and I block the channel. It's not because they are not pretty because they are. It's because I don't want to encourage that behavior and I really want to let them know that they are more than a piece of meat. Guys will never see you as more than a piece of meat, because All the girls that do this are feeding into a fantasy. Not really a life of true fulfillment. They will always be looking for THE ONE and will never find him.
As a proud Ginger myself, rock it, because some people may hate on it but others would die to have our color💯 And at the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is yours💕
@@bellar.402 True true i am Asian more particularly South Asian and I would love to see a real redhead it's such a pretty colour like who can hate it those ppl r only jealous 🌝✌️
I would absolutely love to have ginger hair I see gingers as literally one of the prettiest people in the world so don't worry you don't need blonde hair you're absolutely beautiful as you are
i also wanted to add that the concept of pretty privilege refers to being "average looking" as well, because if you're considered "ugly" according to the societal beauty standards, you have the same results as a privileged person, just in reverse. it's like with any stratification system, you may not be rich, but being able to afford medical care in case of emergency is a privilege.
I was thinking the same. I never experienced that I was considered "pretty", but not "ugly" either. Since my looks never have been a disadvantage for me I still am privileged.
Ok guys, everyone keeps asking what app the one girl is talking about in the video. I thought it was called "beauty pass ", but apparently that's only for models from verified agencies. I honestly don't know what app she's referring to anymore😢...
Nobody said that to you…
Not meaning you aren’t pretty btw
@@BlueberrySummertime huh? I'm talking about the app the girl was referring to in the video
i just read an article abt this and there were three main apps: beauty pass, neon coat, into (now rebranded as mysocialmuse)
@@BlueberrySummertime 😐
@@BlueberrySummertimewhat
Being the girl your friends ‘didn’t imagine having a boyfriend’ makes you realize a lot of things.
Wow, that's soo true! I just realized I am that girl :0
But idk, I don't have much of an issue with that, beauty is just not one of my gifts :>
Same
This me but I am a lesbian
felt thiss
yeah that does sound really bad, but it could also mean personality wise.
like they couldn't see you even gaining interest in letting a guy get that close to you because you have trust issues or maybe they saw you might interested in the same sex.
that saying doesn't immediately mean that they're attacking your looks hun.
Growing up ‘ugly’ and then growing into your looks as an adult is one of the weirdest feelings.
Ikr😂
I relate to this so much. Seeing how people treat me differently is so upsetting. Little me never deserved to be treated like that.
And growing up ugly and still being ugly is the worst
@@aditimohanty2694 Yeaa🥲
Idk if y’all experience this too, but I always get people who invalidate that I can have low self esteem. Going from being considered SO UGLY to being considered conventionally attractive (by most people) has given me such a complex and I feel like people don’t believe me when I say I don’t always find myself to be beautiful
The worst part of being ugly is that people literally treat you as if you were invisible. Your opinions and feelings don't matter, they always tell you to shut up and just put up with everything because "they allow you to be around them" and somehow it should be more than enough to make you happy... it's really upsetting that just because you're born with a face that doesn't fit the standard, your entire social existence is doomed and unless you find awesome people, you're basically left all alone...
Fr . . .
is ur pfp rly what i think it is
Invisible would be nice, they treat me very, very bad. I just want to be left alone!
Yess, worst if you are shy, imagine being shy and ugly? You are neither interiesting or pretty, you have nothing to offer and you will be left alone, thats my actual reality.
please don't bring any of that blackpill bs here
When you lose your pretty priviledge then you will know just how much true it was...trust me.
🤣
Facts. My sister is at an age where she’s afraid to lose her pretty privilege, so seeing her do whatever to stay pretty has been a trip. I’m like welcome to the ugly club sissy 💀🤣✋
i know, i relate
women mostly don't benefit from pretty privilege, other women hate them for no reason and men just objectify them and both, genders think they didn't get their position by hardwork? However pretty privilege in men only benefits them to the point that they can get away with stalking behavior and creepy behavior in general and her getting angry at the worker for not taking the ride as if she asked him to wait is jealous and pick me behavior
Honestly, conforming to the latest beauty standard/trend just to stay relevant in society’s eyes is a vicious cycle. Losing that pretty privilege forces you to realize that there’s more to your identity than just looks. In the end, it’s best that you be a better version of yourself.
I don’t agree with the whole “if you’re pretty, people think you’re stupid” thing. People might assume you’re stupid because of your ugliness as well. I also find it depends on the type of beauty a woman possesses. If she has a lot of artificial enhancements and curves, maybe people will assume she’s not smart. This doesn’t apply to women with moderate and natural looking features.
Very true
it's true that if you're very pretty people think you're stupid and it's also true that if you're ugly they can think the same. it's more about if you look and act like a stereotypically smart person or if you don't
It’s definitely true like sm times ppl think I’m stupid cuz I have a bubbly sense of humour and I also enjoy feminine things and that’s what is more visible on the surface so ppl don’t see the other sides to me and ppl often just assume cuz sometimes I’ll even joke in a sarcastic way cuz I’m aware of how I come off but ppl will literally think I’m fr that stupid
Funny story, my dad is the most insecure person in the world, he literally jokes that "he doesn't has a personality" or that "he does It all for attention". People say he is ugly, so let's assume he is (daughter bias, I think he is very beautiful man), he always told me big ears made him looks stupid, so he made a surgery to "fix" It, and he asked If I wanted to do It as well, but since I'm not a tenth as insecure as him I said no, and I still like me Dumbo ears the way they are lol.
I can't judge him at all, but I can't fall in the pit of "I'm so ugly, no one likes me!"
Confirmed. I'm ugly and people think I'm an idiot and I have no idea what I am talking about.
“Pretty Privilege” is 100% real. Especially in the work place. It’s crazy that people are just more kind, patient, respectful, and forgiving to “pretty people”
And they get recognition as well as promotions when they don't deserve it. Not everyone that is "pretty" get them, but I have noticed a pattern.
And that's another reason why I hate the office siren aesthetic (I don't hate the outfits but the aesthetic)
Those are called simps and idiots
True
When I got my first job as a waitress, I quickly realized that working was much easier when I wore conventionally pretty clothing and makeup. Everyone was friendlier and more patient with me even when I messed up, and I got way more tips. It was even more apparent when I acted extra bubbly and cutesy.
Obviously that came with its own cons too. Some men (usually older) would ask me when my shift was over, try to slip money into my apron or pockets while I cleared their tables, and would openly flirt with me, some even in front of their wives/GFs. I had one guy try to “teach” me how to do my job better while I was waiting on other tables.
The other waitress who was more heavy-set and wore less makeup wasn’t treated with the same amount of patience/respect, even though she was better at the job than me and was always very friendly and kind. I had some customers actually tell me they wanted me to serve them instead of her. It was an enlightening but unfortunate lesson I learned.
Because pretty privilege exist. People would do alot for some one who's good looking
I hate men so much ngl
Hmm, maybe people want you because you're "bubbly" as in more social than the heavy set one. And the heavy set one is just doing their job. Because I use to work as a restaurant hostess and a hostess for public tourists, people like those type of people that can sit and chat with them. If you were in the medical field as a hha, nobody would give a _ if you were pretty and bubbly, because if you can't do your job, you end up putting patients in jeopardy
@@bplovelove3119
Yeah, some of it depends on the industry & personality but there are still a lot of shallow people out there.
@@bplovelove3119 no? LMAOO yall will do anything to deny pretty privilege. its obviously because of how she looks. even if there was a good looking person who was grumpy and rude but rlly hot ppl would rather the hot grumpy one than teh bubbly chubby and not good looking one to serve. keeyaseef hope urmumandaddye
I "used to be ugly" when I was younger and only recently "discovered" that I was pretty. I think it's interesting seeing the difference in how my peers treated me then and now. I was harassed on the street more back then than I am now, but now I can convince people to do things for me a lot easier. And people tend to listen more intently to what I have to say now than they used to.
sameeee
How do you know they are listening and not just staring?
Same thing, I feel like they pay more attention and are nicer to me. But I think I also has to do with confidence.
@@FollowmedowntheNumberWhole Well, for the most part, they respond appropriately to what I've said, but sometimes that's exactly what happens 😭😭
I'm the reverse I used to be ugly, then got hot, now getting ugly with age and it's not a fun experience so enjoy it and use it to your advantage
something that i dont think gets talked about enough is how important being photogenic is- a lot of people seem to think its just ugly or pretty. like i know i can be good looking irl and i get quite a lot of attention/compliments, but in my heart of hearts i KNOW i look terrible on camera. same goes for a lot of people i know. but many people who are even perhaps conventionally just average looking have the ability to make themselves look better on camera. its something i often feel jealous of considering how prevalent social media is in our social lives, although i know id also feel jealous if i looked better on camera than off. people who have both really are lucky icl
Bruh you just said whatever I was feeling. Spot on.
I hate taking pictures for the same reason! I look SO MUCH worse and my parents fuelled me with it as well saying stuff like "you are too tense and worse looking on pictures, why don't you want us to take a photo of you? You are doing it on purpose bc you don't respect us! You are only posing for your friends! " (I never liked photos even with my friends tho) 💀💀💀
THISS omg, I probably have 4 pictures total where I’ve looked good lol. I’m not photogenic at all and I hate taking pictures, so I never post them on social media. And I know a lot of people use photoshop, lighting, poses, and etc, but there are people who genuinely don’t have to try as hard.
dude THIS fr
I agree with this. In a world of social media where cameras are everywhere, this is especially relevant!!
The privilege is REAL! I was overweight most of my life until my ED got so bad I was in the hospital. People treated me so much better when I was sick and it fueled my ED more because I didn’t want to be treated the way I was when I was fat. Now as I’m older, I care less about it but people dehumanize you when you’re fat. It’s sad 😐
Yeah, it's ridiculous that people treat fat people as less than human. My sympathies that you had to experience all of that. I hope you cut off all of those people who decided to treat you nicer because you were struggling with an ED, that's very messed up. I'm happy you're doing better now.
Same here. When I was 22, I was borderline anorexic and anemic. People kept complimenting me on my weight loss and even one person mentioned that I looked disgusting in the past but now I was looking good. Guys tried to hit on me and everyone was nicer.
I got pregnant, got all the weight back and 40 pounds more over the spawn of 15 years. Tried everything in the book to lose it. I am practicing self love first. A healthy lifestyle has to be sustained in wanting to actually be healthier instead of torturing and starving yourself for not looking like a supermodel.
Girl, I read ED as erectile dysfunction. 🙃 I was so confused! Lol anywho, I’m glad you’re in a much more confident and healthy situation now. ✌🏽
Im so sorry
I’m a fat girl and people dehumanize me so much to the point where I’m just used to it. It hurts so bad and it’s permanently put me in a place with terrible mental health. It is very much real.
my fraternal twin has pretty privilege and she's very much the kind of person who doesnt care about her looks and no matter how much effort i put in, an average joe like me is looked down upon for the same things she's praised for (for eg if we both dont dress up, shes "not-shallow" but im "gross" and should put in effort)
point is, people with pretty privilege will always have it easier even if they have to deal with unsolicited attention. at least thats just my opinion :/
Very true, then you feel pressure to do extraordinary makeup, hair, and clothes to “make up” for your non conventional features (ex: acne, dark eye circles, big nose)
Be Kind🖤🫂✝️ As a twin sister myself, i can say your possibly wrong… I remember my brother being asked about me i think he was always protective over me most of the time.. I’d hope your sister was the same way if can really ask her..
my brother and i still talk often❤
also i’m sure she may have overthinked things possibly then wear something simple.. my twin brother is always doing this and looks great. i always try to put the best things i have on with time this is way more normal to me now…
Hopefully maybe you both bringing up the past may heal anything between you too❤
anyway sending that twin love❤
lol
I have a fraternal twin too and we look so different that people often don’t believe we’re twins. Anyways she gets pretty privilege while I get called the ugly twin
yea its so unfair
FORREAALLL i have a friend that's way prettier than me that got constant praise at a party with everyone thinking they're so cool even though they were being awkward, while literally nobody noticed me
For all the younger women watching this, please please please remember that having light hair, eyes and skin does NOT equate to being beautiful. It's all about bone structure and contrast, it doesn't matter where you come from or where your ethnicity is from originally, what really matters is the overall harmony in the face and body. Still, even if we're not perfect l, just remember the prettiest person is unattractive to someone, believe or not. At the end of the day, we all are beautiful in the eyes of some people, always always remember that ♥️
What a beautiful message ❤️
Light eyes scare me.
Yes, but bone structure isn't something I can control either lol
@@LoveDayandAge just put on makeup
@@camillasmith2116 idk that cant change _bone_ .
How about just accept what you look like?
I don't doubt that pretty people have their own unique struggles, but I will say it's probably still preferable than being deemed unattractive by society. I hear that people who are not conventionally attracted get treated really badly. Being pretty is still a privilege
I am on both spectrums. I’ve seen both. And sometimes I choose being ugly.
Ok but what about that model or pretty woman who was a victim of an acid attack and lost her beauty to it? How do you feel about that? Envy, pettiness, or rejection can be a very real threat that can instantly change one's life
@@LovelyLittleLillies 'how do you feel about that'...? My original comment shouldn't create the assumption that I'm fine with people having acid thrown on them.
My comment was talking about an average day in the life of a pretty Vs unattractive person. Obviously criminals can target anyone at any time, including pretty people.
@@LovelyLittleLillies You have 1 example, remind me the amount of bullying due to someone being ugly ? Yeah, pretty people don't have this in their average life, plus, is it really because she is pretty OR due to being a famous model ?
@@inihilisme1511 you must live in ignorance because there have been bullying of pretty girls too - it's a tale as old as time and there have been historical cautionary tales on that... Like that movie Marlena or something like that, where the famous scene where she puts a cigarette in her mouth and bunch of men pull out lighters to lighten her cigarette comes from, with the actress Monica Bellucci.
There have been many instances of pretty girls and women having to deal with cattiness and mean girl behavior from other females due to jealousy, some of them open up about it online. Why don't you go ask the prettiest girls what they've been through instead of assuming? Plus not everyone who is unattractive or unconventional looking gets bullied - let's not generalize. Being ugly is not indicative of being bullied. I appeared a little weird in my early middle school years and none outright picked on me and bullied me. Y'all are making too much generalizations and stereotyping with these pretty privilege talk. Like I've said in another comment whether you're pretty or unattractive there are advantages and disadvantages with each one. Y'all don't see that bc y'all are looking through tunnel vision just like men complaining online say life is easier being a women - they say that bc they're imagining best case scenario and life through a beautiful woman's lense not life being an average woman. Y'all say pretty privilege is better without giving much though what the negative aspects of being a beautiful woman are - like higher chance of being approached or pinned for by unstable, creepy men and higher chance of attacks from those types of men and many men taking out rejection violently on them. More likely to be victims of stalkers. More likely to be victims of acid attacks - also victims of SA bc many average men do not see them as humans - just like Taylor Swift who had a very public SA happen to her at a radio station and she's a pretty woman. Being objectified and only seen for your beauty - only being valued for your beauty. People not seeing other aspects of, thinking You're a bimbo and underestimating you, and not seeing the humanity in you. The list goes on and on.
Reason pretty privilege isn't as much of an upgrade bc s**ism still exists and it still applies to pretty woman with pretty privileges, so they're still gonna be victims of patriarchy and experience the negative consequences of patriarchy. Pretty privilege doesn't protect women from not experiencing s**ism - be it at home, from their spouses, or in their cultures if they live in a s**ist country. It doesn't protect them from SA's and grapes just like all other women experience as well. So what's the point of obtaining pretty privilege? There isn't much privilege in pretty privilege for women. True pretty privilege only exists for good looking men.
This is so real. Skin tone and hair texture also play a big role in who's deemed "attractive" or not. Especially w the rise of influencer culture and it's so draining. Great video!!
Thank u😇💙
fr i actually look more attractive with straight hair which makes me sad but whatever
@@ngndndYeah me & Afros don’t give. 💀
Pretty privilege exists. This is coming from someone who was usually the last to bloom back in middle school, a teachers pet and was always the last to be picked when they boys were doing their random chooses. (Illogical I know, but if you were in such a situation as a pre/post pubescent girl, it was extremely painful to experience)
At 19-20, I’m glad to say that yes, I have bloomed well (honestly non of them were expecting it) and I have realized that indeed I am pretty. I’ve had a lot of privileges my childhood self could only dream of and it’s so surreal sometimes when I find myself in such situations. People letting me cut lines, lectures being less strict on me, getting free rides, free drinks, free meals… my inner child’s always says “so all this while you were indeed pretty”. It makes me teary sometimes.
But with a background like mine, when I acknowledge that pretty privilege does exist, I’m all of a sudden deemed as self absorbed?
Remember, human beings are fickle af and the number of things “pretty” people have gotten away with us astounding.
There’s nothing in this world that would ever stop the effects in f pretty privilege as long as humanity still exists because obviously, humans like pretty things. (Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder btw)
And the assumption that your dumb just because you’re pretty, VERY TRUE. It’s so surprising when I have conversations with males and they’re so surprised with the way I think. They usually say “I thought you weren’t like this, you know, smart”. You’re talking to a straight A student bro.
Most of the time I use that assumption to my advantage. It’s time to stop with the victim mentality. You thought I was dumb just because I’m pretty, well I’m not gonna react and then your true self will literally show.
I’m 23 now, still a virgin and have never had a boyfriend. Men mostly flock around you just to sleep with you mostly for your body or any other sexually inappropriate reasons, or just to boost their ego. It gets annoying and suffocating sometimes.
I am black with very dark skin and I absolutely love my skin.
No matter how you look, you should love yourself and if you think you need some improvement, totally up to your discretion. Don’t let the stereotypical beauty standards confuse you.
And a lot of people don’t expect us to be Intelligent or well spoken because we are black women 😕😒
Love💗
Yep I understand! My classmates in primary school compared my friend to the pretty girl from Scoopy Doo (I forgot her name lmao) and me to Velma and I wasn't even her body complexion💀
Pretty privilege doesn’t exist it’s just a trend .
thank u for writing this
Hm
l
There is *no* disadvantage to being perceived as attractive. None.
Well- your gonna get more stalkers and not saying ugly people don’t get stalkers but more creeps will try to get pretty people because they are pretty
Mostly non but if you in third world country and poor then things go wrong
there is disadvantages however the advantages are more
The disadvantages of pretty privilege are stalkers, relationships only for your looks or people that sexualize instead of care about your personality, there's jealousy from friends or strangers for something you can't control and treat you like shallow competition, the rate of being kidnapped or trafficked or exploited is higher because you're seen as "more desirable" to sell. If you think someone gets more attention generally, wouldn't that include a bunch of creeps too? Think about how many attractive people you've seen on 48 hours and why. There's also the pressure to maintain any beauty you have, because if you gain a pound or a pimple, people act like you're glowing down. In business opportunities, if people hire you based on appeal, they don't care about the brain and will treat you like a doll. Maybe, that attractive person also has an eating disorder or illness that makes them thin. Maybe, they have a narcissistic mom that forces beauty standards and that's the only way they find grace. Think of toddlers and tiaras or the stereotype of a pageant parent. Maybe, that attractive person used to look different and even after body changes, feels the exact same way internally.
Thinking "pretty people don't have problems," your comment is exactly this point. there are disadvantages, you'd rather just not see them.
@@alessandramia111i’d rather have those problems than be ugly 🙄
I've always been ugly. I'm still waiting for my "glow up" but I know it's too late for it to happen. It's not just about what privilege you get but if you're ugly you don't have any chance to have a family in the future. You're doomed to live alone, watching all your friends getting married.
"I wanted to acknowledge that if people don’t have a sex life, it’s not for some moral reason, it’s just because they’re ugly. Once you’ve said it, it sounds obvious, but I wanted to say it." - Michel Houellebecq
Everyone is beautiful in their own way💜
i know it must feel that way but if you actually look at couples around you (or even online, but maybe less so there), you’ll see that people you may personally find ‘ugly’ are very much in relationships of their own. the process of dating or rejection may make it feel hopeless and humiliating but in reality conventional ‘ugliness’ is not THE deciding factor in love
There's TONS of ugly people in relationships and who have children, even ugly women. Though probably not much when younger. For those who truly want a family then eventually ugly men who can't find or keep a hot one will most likely lower their standards. But then you would have to also lower your standards if you have any. Standards in looks, possibly personality and the way you're treated, and probably money too. But it's very doable. Pay attention to the couples that are in their 30s+. You'll just have to wait for the low earning ugly guys to give up on the hot women. Some wise up sooner than others. If you want to start a family while still young then go for older guys 40s-50s. Imo the worst thing about being ugly, at least for women, is all the harassment we receive. Secondary to me is discrimination when job hunting. Not into romance, kids, etc.. But if I was then it's clear the easiest targets would be older men who are desperate. Of the few men who have hit on me they've all been older. Go for it!
@@CurbHopper111 What an odd perspective tf💀
Idk about that, If this was true, there wouldn't be ugly women married, and there are many. I have been talking to my dad a lot, and he knows about hookup and marriege, he always says that If you don't have one thing, just do something else, a lot of men like smart or religious women to marriege, and others like outgoing, slutty and fun women for hookup
I’m not a conventionally attractive person and at my former job they made it very clear to me that I was ”beneath them” because of it. My boss even told me that if it weren’t for my personality, he’d never have hired me since I don’t have the looks. My colleagues shunned me and none even cared to be friendly or even say ”Hello”. I was never invited to ”after work”-parties. I thought that maybe if I tried to climb the career ladder, they’d respect me more. I busted my a’ off and got promoted to manager but nothing changed except that they were not only mean but also refused to listen to me and complained whenever I asked them to do their job. I’m never gonna work in a social climate ever again.
That is so f'ed up
is that u in the profile pic if so, UR LITERALLY SO BEAUTIFUL OMG, please do not listen to them and tbh u look like a conventionally attractive person so idk why they treated u like that pls never listen to what other people think.
@@itsizrasroblox Thank you so much❤️ I’m glad I got out of there. It’s frightening how some people can be that shallow. They even rejected customers that they considered to be ”ugly” or ”fat”.
Sounds like jealousy. You are pretty. I think they were just haters.
@@juliel3460i m so scared y'all if you ugly then what am i??😂😂 But honestly i just think they were trying to tear you down cause you very pretty never doubt that
It's a sad reality. When I was in school (before i went homeschooled) I was harassed, the butt of the joke, made fun of and I had to sit there and take their shit because they were above me. I tried telling the teachers and they'd tell me they'd handle it but just let them off the hook because they were considered attractive, and yknow attractive people cant be "bad" people.
Thank you for sharing your story🩷
They were never above you btw you just hadn't discovered how to love yourself in spite of people's opinions. I remember how much I used to endure as a young kid at boarding school before I had my glow up and started living extremely well. Sometimes I see those same people on social media all grown up and I feel indifference. Their lives look pretty boring and unremarkable to me. Most of these people that made fun of you peak in school
you may not agree with me, but it seems to me that pretty privileges exist as long as you allow other people to treat you in this way. I believe that when a person can stand up for her/his personal boundaries, she/he will not be treated badly because of her/his appearance or anything else. While even a beautiful person can be offended if others know that he/she will not be able to answer.
I want to believe that every person deserves to love themselves, their appearance and be loved (as long as they have not committed anything criminal or immoral)
Wow, now that's a messy situation! Idk if your self esteem is well after all of that, having some psicology study is very good for mental health, I really recomend ❤️
(My fonts are mostly in portuguese, so I don't have much to recomend)
Me too
As a man, I had pretty women be offended that I treat them equally as average ones. I have seen this with my own eyes with men too. Some of the younger women at work treat unattractive men worse than the tall and good-looking ones. Attractive people are often overestimated in competence and intelligence. We're all biased to some extent, and this is the cold hard truth. Man or woman, it doesn't matter. Maybe pretty privilege would not be such a prevalent thing if we treated people fairly? A pretty girl once told me: You said no to buying me credits for my sim card???? wow. I'm not used to that!
Well said!!
that’s interesting thanks for sharing. i left some comments about my experiences being mistreated as an attractive woman. on the flip side i will say that yes i do most times get treated much better than my peers by men. however i have to say when a man treats me regular it makes me feel very safe and calm. i feel like there’s not an ulterior motivate and i get a sense of relief. i think what you’re doing is the right thing to do. i’m sure to a certain extent it’s just natural to treat someone you find attractive “special” but at the end of the day nobody deserves more or less because of the way they are born looking.
It's actually biological! Like any other species, the more symmetrical and balanced (or attractive) someone looks externally, it's a sign that their genes are good for reproducing. It can indicate things like intelligence, ambition, passion, (Or at least thats what we think) when someone is "pretty." It overall indicates genetic superiority. But most "pretty" people are f*ckin crazy, or driven crazy by the expectations we hold them to.
Well said buddy i am also a male and when i just used to work in japan as a receptionist some people would ask me to switch my shift with the other guy who was more attractive so that people would get more comfortable to talk to the attractive one.
Such entitlement from attractive people sometimes. I also treat everyone pretty much the same.
Also - the pretty privilege that comes with being neurotypical is so real.
Why? Because us neurodivergent people often have things like weird fidgeting, not being self confident, usual ways we hold our bodies, different types of walks, etc
Then also people with Down syndrome and other illnesses, and in general people that don’t „behave gracefully“ - somehow that’s considered ugly and weird
💛💛💛
Man yeah I walk with a limp and I hold my hands weird when I talk and no one has mentioned it but I know people notice
Well, to be 100% honest. I am neurodivergent but once participated in scientific research that classified me in the top tier most beautiful woman in the world and my pretty privilege balances a lot of the negative effects of neurodiversity out for me. For example: people let you get away with a lot more, and since I also mess up a lot due to my struggles that’s a big advantage. People are also always surprised to hear I have ADHD when I tell them because ‘I got it all going on’ or ‘I look so well put together’. Subconsciously, I learned early on that caring about your looks may be especially important if you are neurodivergent and it became my greatest coping mechanism. In other words: don’t assume you can’t be perceived as attractive just because your brain might work differently than society likes to see. And yes, pretty privilege is partly created. Taking good care of yourself and carrying yourself well will also give you benefits no matter your actual looks! Good luck , hope you feel better about yourself soon 😘
I want to emphasize that I was extremely unconfident about my looks growing up with self esteem that was lower than low. But that I worked really hard on making sure I looked my best and feel as confident as possible since it really can help me with part of the challenges I face (not all of course). So don’t feel bad if you feel the same way as I felt and please know that you can change how you look, how you feel about your looks and most importantly: how you feel about yourself is always possible!!
I have autism and ADHD and I observed that even amongst disabilities there are the "good" and "bad" ones. For exemple epilepsy, down syndrome, and severe autism are generally bad ones and even worse if you are unattractive. But mild autism and ADHD are good if you are pretty. It's almost like we have to make up for our disabilities by being cute.
I’m at the last year of high school, and I think I’ve accepted that people will always go out of their way to make me feel horrible about my ugly face/body. But I’m learning to always be good because of it. I refuse to be a source of negativity in this world. I want others to feel that they won’t be judged by me. I’m willing to go the extra mile, I know I’ll make it in this world if I work hard ❤
You will and trust me your soul is beautiful continue to be like that and you will get very pretty which I know you already are. ❤
I grew up in an abusive home and didn't get to take care of myself much. I didn't eat or move properly and I was always weak and never put together. Once I was able to start taking care of myself even in the smallest way possible people starting treating me better. I was now considered "pretty". I was still in a that bad home situation and whether I was withdrawn socially for a few days or I didn't do well on a test I was told by people "jokingly": "it's okay you're pretty". People started kissing up to me and boys started flirting with me. I also struggled with c-PTSD which the unwanted attention would always send me into flight or flight mode. Another thing that I want to say as a survivor of DV and SA is that pretty privilege can only get you so far. It is an important thing to talk about because it really clouds people's judgment and leads them away from the reality of things. There were so many people who were showering me with attention yet when it came to the reality of my abuse, the signs were so obvious and I received no help. All of those people and not one person wanted to help me. I'm still so mad that as a society we don't put the human issues first instead of getting stuck up in the ruse of image. Whenever I mustered up the courage to explicitly tell someone about the abuse I was going through they would just laugh and ask me what I could possibly be dealing with and when I finally thought I met someone that actually cared about me, it turned out all he cared about was my face and my body. Pretty "privilege" exists and it's hurting everyone. Deep down we are ALL beautiful and all worthy of being loved, even beauty is subjective. What I find beautiful over looks is strength, resilience, passion, love. That is what makes a person truly beautiful.
Thank you for sharing your story ❤️
this is very similar to my experience. thank u so much for sharing, i hope ur doing well. im proud of u 4 choosing urself 🎀
Being poor or abused plus beautiful while female is a curse because people have to wade through ‘how do I want to use them/how am I jealous of them’ while trying to ‘help’ you
Cptsd sucks
I was picked on in middle school for being ‘ugly’ but now I’m considered attractive and in a way it’s very tiring as an introverted person. I’m not bragging because it’s a lot of pressure on me to look good all the time and look so good that people are always complimenting me.
Not only that, it was tiring speaking to all of those boys at the same time and now I figure out all of them wants to sleep with me.
To be completely honest with you, being considered attractive with people wanting you and being complimented based off of looks then not getting compliments like that anymore ruins you mentally.
It ruins you so bad you can’t feel good about yourself unless you wear one hairstyle, wear this certain type of makeup, wear this or do that. It’s so damaging when you don’t get compliments, you begin to go back to your old self in middle school. It’s draining when you don’t have traction around you anymore and nobody really wants you.
Very true💛
They really only wanted your physical exterior anyway so did they ever really want the ACTUAL YOU? Self esteem cannot be based solely on how people percieve your looks. You need something with more substance with which to build your confidence on. External validation is fleeting and flimsy as you cannot control how other percieve you constantly. Inner acceptance of yourself will always be key
@@tessy28 thank you, I’m currently working on it aswell as not caring about others opinions with daily affirmations. I grew up with different likes from the other kids my age so I was already separated from them and I am because they have their own lives.
I’ve came to the realization that a lot of people only want one thing from me which helps me a lot to not get my heart broke.
Thank you though ❤️
Yo, are you just me?
Protip: get/get back into a hobby, gives you an excuse to get away from people and something else to focus on
what does this comment even mean? why are u pressured to look good? do u naturally not look good or what? and suddenly when u don’t ur scared if that? compliments doesn’t mean anything at all. idk what ur trying to say.. u said u “look attractive” ur an “introvert” and that u don’t like the pressure yet u still wanna look good? just don’t be fake
I’m honestly so jealous of pretty people 🥺
I’d say naturally pretty. I have to put in a lot of work to get close to these gals.
Said the pretty person lol , girl you’re gorgeous
@@mazzystarisart Thank you so much 🥺
Bruh, you're like a 6'4" guy being insecure of his height lol
@@user-783hhss7w2oifhe what?
I lost my pretty privilege, I started getting acne and I also gained a bit of weight too
The way people treat me now is nothing like they used to treat me
Like most people act Like they don’t even recognize me
Open your camera > do a tiktok doing nothing but being pretty as hell for 30 seconds > make more money than any normal people will ever gain
I think light hair and blue eyes don’t make you automatically pretty privileged. It’s about the bone structure, the harmony in the face and the body
It depends on the country too. In South America for example, where most of us have brown or black hair, and brown eyes, if a blonde person with blue or green eyes passes by they're instantly considered beautiful and people treat that person as if they were superior.. it's amazing to me and I don't understand it (I prefer people more representative of my indigenous roots) but it's real!! There's a lot of racism in our countries 😣 so maybe in other countries with more blonde population is about the bone estructure and all that you mentioned, but in countries like mine being blonde with light eyes is 'more than enough' 🙄
American men don't see it that way. 85% of them will sooner choose an average/unattractive blonde over an attractive non-blonde.
@@lianadotjpegi am from Europe and blonde hair with light eyes does have a real halo effect. Here if you have brown hair you have to be exceptionally beautiful to be considered attractive, but if you are blonde with average features you will still be considered prettier than the brunette with better facial bone structure. I believe it is like this all over the world. I have brown hair and brown eyes and it is very hard to date cause guys dont actually have a crush on me, they only want to date me when they are extremely desperate for someone.
@@ssk363 I am French and I strongly disagree, you're considered pretty if you have a pretty face and a nice body, being blond for most people I know has nothing to do with attractiveness
@@miladeseitan In Russia where most people are fair haired blue being blond is privilege
You see, my best friend is a model. In fact, I introduced her to modeling. I also got her a job as a waitress and when she left, I got her job. Neither of us had experience and we both did the best we could, we both made mistakes too, sure, but the clients were happy with us. The boss used to talk so good about her and I never saw her being rude to my friend. But she was the rudest person to me, she even insulted me in front of everyone. My friend also made way more tips. What is the difference? Beauty. When my friend was there, there were a LOT more (male) customers. She could do everything wrong, but it was okay, because she was pretty.
I grew up ugly and now I don't really know how to describe myself. As an adult, only one person who wasn't sane once called me ugly. I've also been called pretty, but no one approaches me, just some creeps. So I'm confused. The only thing I know is that I am not a model at all. When we are together it is like comparing Emilia Clarke (pretty) with Adriana Lima (stunning). And when we're both with other people, all their attention is on her, and only her, especially guys. Even once, one didn't even realize I was there until my friend told him, and he said, "oh yeah, you're there. Hello. Well, as I was saying...". And it feels so bad.
I'm even starting to feel uncomfortable around her because of this. I know it's not her fault, and I love her, she's like my sister, but it feels so painful to see how everyone treats her compared to how they treat me... And that will never change.
Pretty privilege is too real. Honestly, I'd rather be treated as dumb than not treated at all.
It's a test to learn to love yourself no matter what outsiders think. Once you have, you'll get the same treatment, but by then, you won't even care. ❤
@@HolisticManifesting I always hear this and it makes me wonder about the people who do love themselves and the same stuff happens. What then?
@@esca.1530So true. That's why I can't stand that kind of advice. It's as if the treatment we receive from others depends solely on our behavior. Society won't change with me just because I don't care what they think. Sorry if I seem rude.
stop being friends w her if shes a b
@@vfdfdvgfbbgfshe’s not saying anything negative about her friend nor blaming her for anything.
I remember being told I was “ugly” for having a “manly” face as a kid, only for angular faces to now be a trend as “buccal fat removal.” I also finally learned which hair styles fit me (medium length hair) makeup (natural) and how to dress for my bodytype (kibbe and color season theory.)
I also began eating healthier and lost weight, and this just made the sharpness in my face more prominent + dressing more “pointedly” feminine in a way that didn’t feel like a costume. I spent very little money aside from canned veggies and learning how to style my clothes. I’d spent maybe $20 thrifting every 3 months and rewearing cloths I felt good in.
People tend to treat me better because of the way I look, and despite dressing more alternative people perceive me as a nice person. But I feel I have to put a tiny bit more effort into how I look to appear attractive, so I ended up learning to like that “less” attractive version of myself. But also, it does get annoying when guys never actually want to be your friend and are deceiving you.
Same! I think our face shape is called diamond
yess people said i looked like a boy!
💛💛💛
@@kitty9374um my face shape is diamond but it’s not angular, but ugly and fat. “angular” is not a necessary characteristic for a diamond face shape
Sure you can be friends with men but you have to cover the hangout bills lmao
I never realized pretty privilege until I have a super pretty friend, when we were at high school last year, people were always trying to be friend with her (girls and boys), when people were talking while I was with here, they were only watching at her etc. But there are some disadvantage, there is a boy who always try to talk to her even if she rejects him, he said he was capable to wait for years to have her and marry her etc
im sorry if my sentences are bad im a French speaker lol
Yea I experienced that too , like imagine people doesn’t even mind saying hi to me when I’m with her they just wanna talk with her only , I felt sometimes uncomfortable with her ,and sometimes kinda jealous and I wondered why is she well treated she is not smart or good. At school or have a good personality what makes her that special
@@cacachie7220je te comprends 😂
@@k1ttyst4bb3r6 si t'es française je vais répondre en français je vais pas me casser la tête, mais ouais c'est chiant la différence de traitement. Quand des gens lui parlent ils la regardent qu'elle et ils font comme si t'existait pas. Mais en vrai essaye de faire un travail sur toi meme surtout si tu te sens mal en sortant avec elle, ou soit tu t'éloignes. Franchement cette année faut que j'essayes d'avoir le pretty privilege
@@cacachie7220 en gros je ne suis pas belle comme elle , je fait la moyenne , mais bref la meuf elle est ni intelligente ni rien du tout , je l’ai invité à mon anniv. , elle a pris toutes les attentions , vraiment ça m’a fait mal , mais en gros je ne suis plus pote avec elle pas pour raison de beauté mais car elle est hyper gâté avec tout le monde et elle n’arrête pas de faire comme si elle était la reine du monde
I realized that most people with pretty privilege have good style and fashion, so that's probably why that catch people's attention aside from their face
🤣🤣 that's a good point
It is easier to have a good style and fashion sense as a pretty person, because more outfits look great on you/ fit your body type, you just need to learn to consider your complexion, and to combine things properly in your outfit. People with some extreme features in their body and face have fewer choices, and their main consern is usually hiding/masking the "ugly" feature.
😌😌😌
I have good style😒
you’ll be ridiculed if you wear a stylish outfit as an ugly person people will say that it doesn’t fit you or that you think too much of yourself or will just silently think that you’re weird
9:03 this part breaks my heart. i wish you didn’t feel like that. i think you are so beautiful, seriously. not only your looks, beautiful complexion and gorgeous smile but your personality just shines girl! there’s so many “conventionally attractive” people out there who may be beautiful on the outside but have the personality of a doorknob lol. ❤
Ur absolutely right, thank u🩷
And sorry but being unconventionally attractive doesn't mean your life will be perfect or the best. Plenty of pretty people living shit lives. 😂 It definitely helps to be seen as pretty but that doesn't mean you won't get used and abused out in the world. The world is a cruel mistress.
@@tessy28 so true. Plus its more like "not ugly" privilege, if you look average Good facial harmony, fairly fear skin, normal weight (which this ytber has) you get almost all these so called privileges (minus the free model/influencer stuff, which really shows how internet centric this term is as so many beautiful people in real life dont get free products)
The only people who can really experience life without this privilege are those with issues like obesity, cystic acne, physical disabilities or some other glaring physical "flaw" who are underestimated, misunderstood and belittled constantly. Beauty is measured by "averageness" and almost all people who complain about being treated unfairly or poorly because they're average somehow never wonder whether its not their looks but something else..
@@leilanileiyou are beautiful girl plus you are interesting because you have hobbies too ❤
being ugly in high school, while considered fairly normal (due to puberty and such), is just so demeaning.
this is so real. instant sub
as someone who went from extremely "ugly" to mildly "pretty" in the span of a few years and is still experiencing "growing into myself", it's a lot of small things that you only notice once you become "easier on the eyes" (such a gross expression imo, but to me it perfectly encapsulates how once people find you less "displeasing to look at" they treat you better as if you've earned the right to be in their presence just by being better-looking) like not being able to make friends easily when you're "ugly", being chosen last for everything (which was a minor thing, but that WOUNDED my elementary school heart 😢), being ignored in a lot of things where your prettier friends aren't, people listening to you and flocking to you once you're "pretty", people actually noticing you and of course, more male attention after you "glow-up". I only noticed these things after my initial "ugliness" faded, and it makes me wonder how many of my friends wouldn't have existed if I was "uglier," and wonder if the guys who now show interest in me would have treated me worse before i was "pretty". i've heard people compare beauty to the bait on a fishing hook, and that your personality is what's supposed to reel people in, but that's not completely true. in my experience, going from "ugly" to "pretty" is like growing up in poverty and then coming into sudden wealth, and really shows you how shallow the rest of the world is. i'm endlessly thankful that I was fortunate enough to experience this "glow-up", it taught me the bittersweet lesson that i wasn't the problem, my face was 😭😭and that concludes my ted talk
thank you for making this video, and btw, you are so pretty! you are the epitome of sunshine vibes, and your features give you a natural warmth and yin beauty that is just gorgeous ♥
I grew up ugly and am above average in looks as an adult. I think it's a great middle ground. People aren't harassing me, but people are really kind to me. Which is great because I'm married.
In my tweens I was ugly and when I was a child I was considered pretty and treated better with more pretty privilege by my guy friends than my other two friends with black eyes and brown hair cause I was older, taller and blue eyed
Now I’m a teen and I’m pretty again and yeah
I’ve had some pretty crazy experiences with pretty privilege, I think people who say it’s a curse are lying to themselves. Just 2 months ago I had 2 random men cover me and my friends bill of over $500 at a spa just because he thought we were cute.
Sure maybe the attention from creepy men is unwarranted and having guy friends that only want to get with you is unnerving but their are plenty of benefits to being considered attractive in many settings
I was heavily pregnant and eating breakfast with my son. I asked for the bill, and the waitress said “your bill was already taken care of”. I looked around and didnt see women in sight, only men sitting alone, with friends, reading newspapers, drinking coffee. Yup agreed.
i think when people say it’s a curse they’re speaking about the scarier parts of it like being harassed, people not respecting you, your boundaries or invalidating your opinions because they assume you “can’t relate” or that you’re unqualified.
It actually is scary when men do things like that often. Most are expecting something in return. And you never know who’s going to be offended and get aggressive if they don’t get what they want since then paying for you was transactional. I’m from Philly and the amount of men that grab and touch me while I’m out is disgusting. I’m about to be 27 and it’s happening less as I get older, and I feel a sense of relief when I do go somewhere and no one approaches me offering to pay.
@@Yosoydom literally, i'm confused about people's shallowness... I literally always wear super baggy and big clothes and keep an angry face and fast pace while walking the streets to not get any attention. I'm not necessarily the most gorgeous person ever, but I'm quite pretty and I have a unique look in my area. It can make going for a walk the most depressing and upsetting and downright scary thing ever. i'm so thankful the amount of times people bother me has also dwindled over the years, this is not the life I signed up for, you know. I am not interested in some feelings of vanity when receiving a compliment or a tip from a creepy man
I’ve said it’s a curse for me personally, because I’ve been sexualizas since I was a kid and graped twice. So many people underestimate my intelligence and the fact that I actually have interests other than makeup and looking pretty. I’ve been harassed in the streets by random people because they just don’t see me as a real person. Whenever I try to talk about my struggles in life like the aforementioned grape and physical abuse I experienced I’m told that I made it all up because I probably have nothing to relate to and want to be a part of the conversation. I literally can’t be a normal human being. I have to always smile and act happy because everyone around me quickly turns on me when I’m not. In high school a bunch of girls (when I transferred to a new school) wanted to jump me because some of their guy friends talked about me to them. I was labeled a bitch and whore despite just moving to NY and not knowing anyone. Although I get nice things like extra or free meals, and ppl willing to do some tasks for me, I’d much rather lose that if it meant I would be harassed and specialized so much at a young age just because some people can’t control themselves when it comes to “pretty people” now that I don’t have as much pretty privilege I would much rather be called ugly and be able to evolve and show my true self and abilities/skills then be called beautiful and not given a chance to evolve far past my looks, no matter how much I try.
I may be weird but I can't say anyone is attractive/pretty until I get to know them and their values. I can say someone has a good style or physique or certain pretty features, but I can't call them pretty based on looks alone. I definitely know the is a body weight stigma and now being 30lbs heavier people treat me very differently and ironically I like and accept myself now more than ever. Society is brainwashed so I try not to put much weight on what the masses have to say and don't care to be around people that are skin-deep.
I just got a huge crush on a guy because I heard him talk about theology kkkkkkkk, that's so true! There's no way of imagining a nice situation with anyone only based on looks
for me having a good face does not equal being attractive
So true!
@@selkie-aine Yes, but some of us don’t really see a person’s true beauty till we get to know them. I was bullied for most of my life, so even if a person is super pretty, I will automatically see them as ugly if they have bully tendencies. I don’t consciously do it. It’s like a switch in me gets turned off, and that person is no longer pretty to me. I think it’s a type of coping mechanism tbh.
Samee i have the feeling we r in the minority of thinking this way, what i dont understand. I see everyone as equal, but when i get too know them i will see them as more beatifull or ugly it doesnt matter how they look like.
We all grow older. Some age beautifully and gracefully but what he's likely referring to is youthful beauty. That doesn't last forever PLUS you always want to be able to survive on your own and definitely on more than just your aesthetic.
Remember being pretty doesn’t always come with privilege. A lot of people who are stunning are treated like trash because they don’t have confidence, they’re bullied by other women out of jealousy and teased by boys who can’t regulate their emotions. Not having privilege doesn’t mean you’re ugly. You might just be pretty with the bad end of the stick. I’ve always thought I was ugly until many of the people who bullied me turned out to either have a crush on me or be jealous of me because I was “so nice and so pretty”. Don’t be harsh on yourself guys.
That is so true. Looking back at my younger self, I can see a lot of people who treated me awful were jealous and I didn’t know how to handle it. I was always accused of flirting with my friend’s boyfriend’s which was the last thing I ever intended. I would have never and nEver stole a boyfriend. Not having confidence at the time, these girls really tore at my already bruised self esteem. You get attention that you don’t want and attract people you don’t want to and truly I never liked the feeling of being pretty making others feel bad about themselves.
lol no. i’m just ugly.
If ur pretty and not confident EVERYONE is gonna take advantage of you babe. It’s so sad
@@Badfilms-u6j same. I hate how people keep bringing up pretty privilege - it's actually insulting to tell someone their life is easier because theyre attractive. it's simply not true and just a sign these girls are seriously insecure. it's one more way for women to attack other women. i was bullied when i was younger constantly and couldnt keep friends because teenagers are so insecure - every conversation was considered me flirting and having guys like me meant a lot of girls would be mean to me. i dont see what the privilege here is when so many women are determined to bring another woman down, just because they're threatened by her looks. the bullying totally killed my self esteem and i still struggle with it. because i was considered attractive people would pick apart any small flaw they could find in me and its really made me hyper critical of myself.
I have no confidence because of my low self esteem. Whenever I talk to a guy they immediately just focus on my looks. It’s draining.
I asked my friend if I’m ugly and she said “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” so yeah I’m ugly
You're not ugly
@@leilanilei You can't even see her face girl, that's just being a hypocrite.
as someone who was considered "ugly" in middle school and only recently started growing into my looks, it seriously damaged my mental health growing up with social media and comparing myself to ig models/girls on the internet. it got so much worse for me when I started high school, I started to compare myself to every other girl I saw, making myself feel better if I deemed them "less attractive" than me and completely breaking down/feeling extremely insecure around girls that I found were more attractive than me. at a certain point, I despised girls who I found more attractive than me and didn't even want to look at them. my dad would get annoyed with me because every time we'd go out I would glance at my phone camera every five minutes to see if I look okay. I'd feel physically uncomfortable/irritated if I felt I didn't look good enough. if I saw a pretty girl in public, I would compare myself to her and try my hardest to find just one small little flaw that I could feel better about. my mom didn't exactly help with this either, as she got older she would constantly point out her flaws to me and tell me how she "just needed" botox.
I'm a junior in high school now, and while I'm still improving my insecurities with my therapist, this is sometimes a struggle for me. I really feel for other young women who feel similar or generally just feel insecure while existing. as long as we find happiness within ourselves, we'll be okay. 💜
i feel the same, it’s just that feeling inside of you that makes you want to disappear on the spot and you just feel like everyone is staring at you. I’ve also been struggling with my mental health and have been having some suicide thoughts but reading comments like this where I can relate to other people really helps
@@avalovesdior i’m glad my comment helps :) i hope u know that ur needed and loved by ppl!!
@@hailreaper_ thank you you’re so sweet 🥲
I have body dysmorphia. Dating is the scariest thing, I’m afraid to let anyone I like see me in my rawest form, and I feel like I can never enjoy myself completely, because I’m always worried about how I look. I don’t like going out much. If I do, I won’t even go out in public without makeup, & doing my hair no matter where I’m going..it’s exhausting, and expensive to deal with this. I spend most of my time and money trying to improve my look. Having this is a literal job. I don’t even wanna look like a supermodel, I just wanna be a basic good looking person, and do it up if I want. But my features are so unfitting, and ugly it’s ruining my life to where I don’t even wanna exist anymore. First thing people notice is your physical being, and that gives me anxiety.😢
@@Mel-so2rw i feel u completely and can relate to this hardcore 🥲 it’s just a matter of getting comfortable with ourselves. but ik it’s easier said than done. best of luck to u!
i’ll never forget the day a girl in my class a while ago told me “well at least you’re pretty” after i struggled to figure something out. It was basically a backhanded compliment.
Remember that beauty ALSO comes from behavior. I know so many pretty girls with pretty faces and bomb bodies with such nasty and unacceptable behavior, being bullies or just plain rude to anyone who they feel are beneath them (even their families and friends). That makes them less beautiful automatically, people that you wouldn't want to be with. Same with guys. So be confident, be kind and you will glow ♥
@pokemonRed1that's not true. There's a girl in my class who was the absolute worst to one of my friends, spreading some dumb rumour about her and she wasnalways hideous in my eyes. The other day I at opposite her and I looked at her for a moment. I never realised how pretty her face was. And I honestly feel that now I see how pretty she is I'm a little more irritated because she has an angelic face but she talks sh** and no one would know.
@pokemonRed1 never said she wouldn't. U just said the only thing that matters is looks. Not true.
@pokemonRed1 well good luck in ur life then, hope it turns out the way you want.
cope
No it doesn't. When you're pretty you can get away with the worst behavior. People say I'm "ugly but nice" btw.
Pretty privilege is like complaining that you have to eat cake instead of bread. They literally don’t have to do anything to get what they want so they have no right to complain about that. It’s like complaining that you have too much money and you to worry every day what to spend it on. And saying the life of a poor person is soo much easier.
This is absolutely disrespectful to people less privileged than them and not true at all. Pretty people have a way easier life compared to average looking people. There is no point in arguing that
What about all of the average looking people that are mean and jealous of them and try to ruin their lives? It is something they have to constantly worry about when they meet females.
@@jenn4593 Is still worth it in the end. I see no one afraid of becoming millionaire due to hsving to spend more on security. You have something people want and they hate it, they are not really mad at you but at how life for you is better then for them - you are in advantage, no other way around.
Why are you so mad did you get dumped for a prettier girl 🙄🙄
@@ebhojayejuliet9728 Or is just mad about how society treat pretty people like royalty and the narratives constructed to make normal folks feel better about not having it as easy. Is like the "lottery winners end depressed" trope.
@@ebhojayejuliet9728pretty girls are lazy people that are looking for a free ticket out of life instead of facing real life hardships. Pretty people lack realistic life experiences. And since things are handed to them they show they live in this world and don't care others are struggling. I would take Bella porch out of the equation, since she is pretty but she was abused all her life, on top of that she joined the navy to get her citizenship, but again most pretty people are in fact lazy.
Great video, and honestly I wish pretty privilege isn't seen in a certain box like "must have blonde straight hair with blue eyes, light skin, skinny, etc." because I've seen so many people of different race, skin tone, different hair types, different body types who I thought looks beautiful but due to beauty standard it eliminates others who is not considered the beauty standard in society and media. Plus it is insane to me there's an app that gives people free stuff 😅 I wonder if it's like a sponsorship.
well guess what blue eyes and blonde hair are not a beauty standard, as a blonde girl with light blue eyes my ex bestie was a girl with black hair and eyes and i was always compared to her and she had pretty priviledge but i did not because i was not considered attractive, i dont know where you are from but here in europe hair and eyes colour has no power it is about having a light tan, skinny and a pretty attractive face
I’m someone who’s like reaaaaally into personalities and if your personality is good then no MATTER how you look if you’re fun and outgoing I automatically like you idk how to explain it it’s like this overwhelming happiness I feel inside like if I met this person he/she will be nice to me. On the OTHER hand, man if your personality is shit, no matter what you do, how overwhelmingly pretty you are, how entertaining you are, I’ll automatically despise you. I just can’t handle people who think the world revolves around them and have the right to treat people as shitty as they want Just cause they got lucky with their looks smh
Ps. You’re a really beautiful person, inside out : ) Keep up the good work. And have a wonderful day.
That's such a good point! Outgoing and nice people have theis "privilege" (God, I hate this word) as well, people crave good human interactions, beauty really doesn't do the job of a good conversation. Of course, in the matter of sex maybe this is important, but I'm not into hookup, so I don't have a saying in that
The thing is when you're pretty, people assume you have a good personality and the other way around when you're ugly. People are bery biased in general so you can be virtue signaling but I really doubt you're not influenced by people's looks.
I’ve always struggled with how I looked. I’ve struggled with my weight, even tho tbh it’s a healthy ish weight for a teenager growing into an adult female body. My problem is I like certain aspects of myself; I don’t actually hate all that much, but put together I can’t really stand myself. Tbh, I can see how social media has changed how I see myself. I can look in the mirror and think I look good, and then I open my phone and spiral down for several hours about how ugly I am. Social media is absolutely destroying self confidence in young people everywhere. Women especially, but men too. It’s easy to see someone naturally gorgeous say ‘just love yourself.’ They’re right, however that journey takes an entire lifetime. So, try and pick out a few things you like. Even if it’s not that obvious. Maybe you’re like me, you don’t like how your face looks, but you think your eyes are pretty. Small things like that make a difference. Everyone out there struggling, just know it’s worth it, and if you feel nobody else does, just know that I care :)
Thank you for giving this long and messy comment a read.
Thanks for reading my comment :)
Assuming you are an African-American,
( I promise this is going somewhere good ) it really makes me feel better about myself because you are almost as lightskin as me. I’m half black yet my skin is usually lighter than the average white person. Even though I have 4A hair, black propel say I’m too white, and white people just ask me for an N-word pass or touch my hair. Just seeing you being able to thrive and have a great channel gives me a little bit of inspiration. It’s nice to see others who kinda resemble me 😄🧡
I’ve literally been treated as a whole different person since my jaw surgery and my rhinoplasty.
Pretty privilege only lasts so long. I experienced pretty privilege in my 20's and now I'm in my late 40's I don't get treated the same. So don't on rely on pretty privilege cause that will eventually fade with time
This! I’m in the same boat. A few years from 40 but can see “the wall” coming. It’s honestly a very hard pill to swallow when people don’t treat you special anymore. I don’t care what anyone says. It is an adjustment.
i used to always get picked on for my freckles and my big eyebrows in primary school but near the start of high school i started having to take a medication for my ADHD and one of the side effects was weight loss. I suddenly lost a bunch of weight plus puberty hit me pretty hard and i suddenly had wide hips and a thin waist. everyone who used to pick on me just stopped and different people started complementing my freckles and my big eyebrows saying that they are unique features that i should be proud of 😭😭. mind boggling.
As a child I got picked on for my big eyes and full lips then it became *the things* everyone was doing
Sometimes it's not even that simple because men see you as a sexual object but not reliable or smart, other women see you as competition and despise you so.... You end up feeling alone!
That's sad, I had a terrible phase of not being able to apreciate beautiful women because of envy, It destroys what could be a nice friendship. I hope you can have some good friends in the future❤️❤️ if you can, have a good time with your parents or family :>
Well then maybe you shouldn't treat men as ATM machines and human meat shields
@ashuranero5721 how the hell did this have anything to do with the original comment? Also nice assumptions
@@ashuranero5721 Who the hell is using men as ATMs and body shields? No woman I know personally. Maybe you're judging a whole gender based on a few bad apples and you hate it when women do the same.
@@KN-hg2nvwomen objectify men more , than men objectify women .
Women want more things in men than men want in women .
Im 14, and I get compared to pretty girls like my friends and classmates ALOT. This has been happening since i was 9
i love the way you look, you‘re just amazingly beautiful naturally… it‘s crazy, i hope you‘re able to see it as well. also love your personality man… you got it all!
thanks for this interesting video,
i hope people start not giving a f and not wasting their time on even thinking about beauty standards cause in the end you‘ll realize that you should‘ve lived and experienced more instead of caring wayyy too much about the wrong thing. i know it can be hard but guys please try be grateful for your body and how it is there to serve you… try to appreciate it instead of wanting it to be different etc. return the love your body has given you through all your senses and the ability to taste food even, isn‘t it amazing?? wish you all the best guys i know it can be hard when you absolutely don‘t like what you‘re seeing on the mirror but keep remembering all the awesome things you‘re experienced with and through your body!
As I get older and look conventionally “better” every year, I realize just how poorly people treated me when I didn’t put socially enforced effort into my look and hid my true personality.
As an ugly person i can confirm girls hate me without even knowing me 😂
I find it pretty upsetting that mediocre white people or people of lighter complexion are deemed more attractive than a dark skin women. I think black women have to always keep up with their looks and maintain good attitude because of this, despite all of our efforts were still deemed as inferior just because of our skin tone
@@__VR__8 not all dark skinned women are deep toned, some of us are just "non-white"
@@__VR__8 um okay?
Speak for yourself. I’m a beautiful Nigerian young woman with kinky 4c hair. My confidence radiates out, and people notice. Do some hate it, yes, but others adores it.
@@notyouraveragejoe7003. Learn that something not being your experience doesn’t make it untrue especially when speaking on a general point
No way, black women have nice bone structure and are naturally voluptuous. Everybody has their own beauty
My cousins who’re the golden children in my family had pretty privilege and are far more extroverted than me. I was avoided and bullied from self-absorbed students until I grew into my looks. Now that I’m older, people think me obsessing over niches like anime and whatnot is to attract others when they were the ones trashing on me for liking it when I didn’t match conventional beauty as a KID.
I was called all sorts of horrendous things, body-shamed by my own relatives for being a chunky, and was the one treated poorly for trying to be happy in my own body.
I don’t bother talking with most people unless they’ve earned the title “friend”, because if a V jawbone, bangs, and a skinny body became enough for people to discard my academic accomplishments and interest then I want nothing to do with them. People are pathetic 🤷🏽♀️
being ugly is hard lol
Yes this video was 2 months ago but I’m late to the game, but have to say this resonated with me. Since 18, pretty privileged has gotten me amazing opportunities. Promotions, bills paid, special treatment at events, getting backstage. Now, about to turn 40, it’s crazy how that goes away with your youthful looks fading. I’m still treated well because I’m sweet and feminine. But nothing is proactively given to me anymore and I don’t get more than what I pay for. Luckily I have an amazing fiancé so I don’t need anything from other men. But it’s definitely a wake up call when it comes to public situations. So I say, take advantage of your youth and good looks while you can!! I don’t regret any of it! And I ended up with a wonderful man in the end anyway!
I'm a software engineering student so in my case I think not having pretty privilege is an advantage. Sadly some still think that attractive women can't be intelligent especially when it comes to male dominated fields. People accept me as a 'nerd' easier if that makes sense. It's dumb :P
That’s interesting. I feel like with engineering, since it’s filled with a lot of nerdy people like us, then we can actually relate to the issue of pretty privilege. We get the thought that someone who is less attractive had to work harder than someone who didn’t since they had to overcome the bias of their unattractiveness. And I guess in engineering/software skills more measurable so it’s easier to tell.
Idk where I read this but in the scientific field, unattractive ppl are usually preferred because that means that they actually worked hard for the profession without any bias from their appearances (bcus of pretty privilege yk) while attractive ppl would be considered that they only reached their proffesion bcus of their pretty previlege. I know that this is not entirely true since you can also be intelligent while being pretty just saying.
(Also sorry for my bad grammar, not my first language)
@@caaaaaaat_ Oh, interesting. I see where they are coming from but at the same time it must suck if you happen to be pretty and hardworking, yet people still think you got everything in your life because of your looks 😵💫 I've seen something similar a few times when it comes to minorities. "You got this job only because you're a woman/poc/lgbt and companies want to show that they support diversity."
Meanwhile me who sits in a front of a computer almost all day doing projects or school work because I genuinely want to learn and do stuff that interests me well: 🗿👍
It's frustrating to hear. I'd be pissed if someone hired me because of my gender (or if I had pretty privilege, looks) after all that studying.
It's being skinny, I have experienced being skinny and overweight, and the way the contrast changed of people acting towards me is actually scary and sad. Trust me, guys will approach a skinny girl over an overweight one any day. Basically, just being skinny and wearing proper clothes can change your world when it comes to this.
Unpopular opinion: pretty privilege is also a form of discrimination like race, religion, skin colour.
Yeah in my country they would prefer an overwight white girl with blue eyes even if her features aren’t the best at all than a gorgeous girl with amazing features in a darker skin tone
I'm not sure if I have pretty privilege but I just want to say it is actually incredibly hard fighting off constant advances from people you trust, years of it damaged my mental health and I needed a lot of therapy because of it. I would have guys at parties talk about me in really hideous ways to each other and they would do things to me that I didn't want, one of them even said that it's hard to not R word me out loud at a party. I had multiple girls try to ruin my life and lie to me and about me, and when I fought back they would say that I'm just manipulating them with my looks. It was extremely hard on me and no one deserves it. Now I am healed but it really did take years of my life away.
im super scared of pretty privilege. i grow up being the ugly kid. still to this day im struggling with self esteem because i still feel like the ugly kid. I'm really scared that ill get treated as bad as i did as a kid and teenager when im starting work. im not even like jealous, i just get so sad that i find myself so utterly ridiculous looking. everyone is just always prettier than me. healing takes time☹️
I feel like there are cons of being attractive, I like how I look but 2 main things:
1)any jealous/competitive girls, literally had to tell a girl in my college Chem class to stop following me and trying to correct me on every mistake. She had an attitude from day 1 w me but laughs super loud at guys jokes. This is not the 1st time. I’d like more gfs but maybe it’s personality, maybe cattiness, it’s hard. Maybe I’m reaching w her, but my class friend saw the same thing.
2) men being super nice until they get the memo you’re not sleeping w ‘em. They get so bitter and sour, it just shows you they never had genuine intentions w you.
These 2 experiences can make you feel alienated sometimes and objectified (by the men).
Not denying pros, but there are cons 100%.
I mean I don’t mind being pretty and getting special treatment. I am always treated softly especially by men regardless of their age. But hey I have seen some pretty girls and having a really bad personality. THAT doesn’t get you very far. If you’re pretty then be kind too and work on your intelligence too.
I was considered an ugly girl in middle school because of my lack of an hourglass figure, body hair, and glasses. Some people made fun of me (mainly this Indian boy that pointed out my sideburns) but most people brushed me off in favor of more attractive people, and this was especially hard when I crushed on boys. Fast forward to high school, and I guess I had a glow up? Not really, considered I didn't change much of my appearance, just grew more into my looks. My body hair and glasses were still there, but there were three guys that liked me throughout high school. And this became even more apparent when I actually did something with my looks in senior year. If I wore a dress, straightened my hair, and lost the glasses (no contacts, went in blind), I was NOTICED. Prom night was the epitome of this. I had a dress that accentuated my slim figure, had straight hair with bangs, had some makeup, and lost the glasses. Now, I don't remember this (because I was blind), but my friends told me that SO MANY guys noticed me that night, even thought about asking me out. And all this attention made me feel uncomfortable. Like now that I did something with my looks, I'm worthy of male attention? No, I didn't like that. I want someone to want me for me, not because of my looks, and being between average and pretty (closer to average), I think gives me a bit of an advantage on that. It may not seem like it, but it gives me comfort. All those years of insecurity have given me a hard shell against guys, warding off the bad ones. Hopefully a guy does see beyond that hard exterior.
Guys can definitely like your personality and create a deep bond but only after they are 100% sure they are attracted to you when you present your most feminine self. Men are attracted to femininity which is partly beautification. Then they don’t care as much during the relationship if you dress down or wear glasses because they know they desire you. It’s similar to the initial irrational attraction girls feel towards a guy when he accomplishes something important for a team (sports, work performance, heroic acts etc). Perhaps the same girl might not be attracted to the same guy meeting under different circumstances (he’s in a slump, depressed, unmotivated) but these things may not stop her attraction once she is his girlfriend who has also seen him win before and already believes in him.
okay but... you are literally BEAUTIFUL girl✨️
One notable disadvantage for pretty people, specifically women, is I imagine the aging process is much more difficult. I already dont get much attention from men so that's not something I'll lose getting older, but they will. Not that I think it's particularly men's attention that women want (or vice versa), but it is maybe the most quantifiable metric of your desirability. going from society thinking youre attractive to unattractive must be very hard to accept, especially since aging isn't something you can do anything about and the effects will only compound as you get older
Im sick of the emphasis and value society puts on looks. But we all will get older and it won't natter.
I applied to a job at a university after I graduated from college. It was a position working closely with students so I thought that me being close in age with the students would be beneficial because I could relate better to than than someone whose been out of college for years. Nope. The hiring manager told me that he was worried about hiring me because I am too “young and attractive” and he thought I’d have ethical issues by being hit on by the students… I’m sure that’s not the only reason why I wasn’t hired. I’m sure there were more qualified people, but that still hurt
That's sick... It's victim blaming even before anything has happened.
I have a friend who's told constantly how pretty she is but unfortunately has a major teeth issue. She sufferred through bulimia for several years as a ballerina so now her front teeth are black at the sides and one of her molars is broken and u can see inside the gaping whole. Shes still waiting to get her teeth done but she cant smile in fear of people mocking her. Due to th vomiting shes underweight and due to her high metabolism shes trying so hard to gain. When some of the girls at school found out about her teeth issue they would bring it up any time people interested in her were around, even asking her why she wont smile with her teeth more since she looks so pretty, humiliating her time and time again. I actually feel really bad for her because its takin a toll on her self esteem and because of her beauty, girls will pick up on imperfections to degrade her with as soon as the opportunity presents itself. As someone who personally knows her, shes been struggling with her health for years, all she wants is to be able to smile again, and gain healthy weight. She cant even open her mouth too much or it will show and she cries about it all the time. She threw up all the time to fit an impossible standard of skinny but now her smile and weight are affected.it sucks.
Nice video. Pretty privilege is a topic I've been thinking a lot about over the past few years. I was always told I was "pretty" growing up, (especially by my mom) and everyone always told me that I should be a model so I never thought about doing anything else except for modelling. I've been modelling for almost 10 years now and I just wonder what kind of life I would have had growing up if people didn't tell me what they think I should do based on my looks.
I was also bullied throughout elementary school and middle school by girls I thought were my friends, my mom always told me that they were jealous but I really didn't understand why because to me, they were the "pretty" ones that had everything I didn't and I knew I wasn't a mean person.
I really hope one day people won't care so much about surface level things, especially looks.
I would still choose being pretty than being ugly even with the negative sides of pretty privelage, pretty much everything s better than being completely invisible.
Broo i I was about to fail a class i was devastated i was dying inside and a girl came to comfort me and she said” you are pretty” 💀. Girl i wish my prettiness could do something about this problem
Honestly, as a black girl who gets most of her features from her father, and looks at her features being more "masculine" - I've kinda accepted that I'll never be considered beautiful. At least not by the eyes of society. I think the beauty standards for black women-honestly all WOC-are unfairly high.
I have more things I hate about my appearance than things I love about my appearance. I'm almost 19 and I'm still stuck in this "I think I'm ugly" stage. Social media definitely hasn't helped either, but I'm slowly learning to distance myself from it all.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, including you ❤️
i was scouted by a modeling agency at the age of 13 as a young, insecure girl. i would have never even think about a modeling career before BUT *spoiler alert* since then i haven’t started to feel more beautiful or confident (cause im like compared to other models every single time at the castings, critisized about my body etc ) the only thing that changed - was that my friends became mean, envious, isolated me and talked behind my back all the time. i know that many of yall want to say „aww you poor thing🧍🏻♂️…ok, anyways so” but THIS type of treatment is what really hurts me. people saying things like „when i see her, i want to fight her” when im like literally just having a good time, doing no harm to anybody, drama free. like i get it, we all sometimes are jealous but omg just chillll. i almost feel like they „suffer” when i suceed/ im happy. don’t get me wrong, i do realize pretty privilege exists, im grateful for what i have, but it’s annoying that people call others „pick me” or „diva” just because they are enjoying themselves and happen to be pretty. any kind of prejudice is wrong. we do not have a soul, we are a soul and have a body ;) hope you have a great day ★
Dear lord the amount of times catty girls were vicious and wanted to fight me was exhausting and it still happens from time to time. I pretty much expect for a group of girls to not like me in big gatherings because it was so normal to me growing up
The problem is that people can't accept others having something they don't have. I'm an avarage girl, a solid 6, and this is normal, beauty is not my gift, but I'm very smart, diligent, and I can talk and sing well in public. I'm not cute, I'm not a sportist, I'm a catholic nerd, and I've never had issues with that. The problem is, If I wanted to have It all, I would be envious of the sport girls and of the pretty girls, because I'm unthankfull of the gifts I already have, and that's a problem! Sometimes personal issues may make envy show up, I was in a toxic relationship, and because of that, I cold NEVER apreciate the beauty and the gifts of black and curvy women, because my ex always told me he liked that type of body, not mine. Maybe the people on your school had their own demons to fight, but when It's gone, being nice to someone and apreciating their worth ❤️❤️❤️
I hope you're good now :>
they're the type to say girls support girls but call you a pick me for even trying to offload how you feel, forbid you for ever feeling bad
Some people have no gifts, so them feeling miserable is not really a bad thing, "just work on yourself" is a tone deaf advice( if you were going to respond to me with that), the thing is people who are dealt bad hand at life will or are more likely to be envious and miserable, I can understand the mindset, as I am not gifted at anything, it is just insecurity and jealousy, you cant really win at anything in life, always taking Ls, people might feel like that because of insecurity but being mean to you isn't nice, idk can't really advocate for being nicest person, when I myself am very insecure and jealous, but I won't really be mean to anyone, but I won't be genuine either.
Can't fathom being genuine when been given shit in every department.
Pretty privilege is so real and heavy on social media especially on TikTok or Instagram. I get so caught up on comparing myself with other creators who have the looks and the body and I know I wouldn’t get close to the views because looks so matter unfortunately
once you delete this toxic crap, then you’ll understand the most unhappy and mentally disturbed human beings care THAT much about physical appearance. it’s a disorder. comparing yourself to others is like the deer comparing itself to zebra. NO POINT. someone would think zebra is more unique and pretty than the deer. i personally think the deer is more majestic. the variety of human beings is what make them humans. we’re slowly turning into robots nowadays
I grew up “ugly, ugly” and I am still ugly but not as much and now a guy is calling me cute and things and I am just like “Me? Why are there so many pretty sexy girls around us and you come up to me ?” it felt so weird and I don't want a relationship because I grow up my whole life believing no one wants me and it was probably a bet between him and his friends.
I have friends that all look like supermodels - I will say, I’ve seen the dark side. They’ve often been victims of crime and men will follow and stalk them… for no reason. And honestly the worst trauma I’ve ever seen. And I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
SA happens to all kind of women, it's not about attraction it's about humiliating and dominating someone for these sick fucks.
This! No one talks about the dark side of being attractive. Also girls being bxtchy to you for no reason and seeing you as competition. Ive had more male friends my whole life because its impossible to be friends with most women.
being average is great. you don't get the negative attention an ugly person would but you also don't get the overwhelming amount of positive attention a pretty person would. my anxiety is bad so i hate it when strangers notice me, looking average just lets me exist in peace
i’ve noticed that ever since i’ve had glow ups and now that i have pretty privilege it’s a lot different. my lifestyle has changed too and i see that my personality is more out there if that makes sense. there’s just so many things that go into play. i was never really “ugly” before but i was definitely average. even if i have pretty privilege i can still be pretty insecure but i make sure to constantly work hard on my body and face to achieve what i want. i understand what it was like before and how it was to be the nerdy quiet girl, but i don’t like it when people say you are so lucky to have that body and such. you have to work hard too, but for facial structure and bones, i do think i am lucky in some capacity of that. but genuinely for me, i do treat people pretty neutral, unless i have some judgment on them for a reason. you can look pretty or handsome but have a horrible personality. but i think peoples judgment these days are just followed up by what others say or don’t take in things into consideration. but then again i’m not perfect and we do have our mistakes.
Well, I think you are absolutely beautiful for informing us about this topic, and for displaying your very insightful observations 😊
A while ago I realized that I had pretty privilege, and it just pisses me off. I got a glow up over one summer and it was just so weird how I felt like everybody treated me differently. I wouldn't like to call myself ugly, but I would say I was very unattractive when I was younger, and I was treated rudely, and over all nasty. But I guess after I started caring about my looks or something I got a glow up and it was just so weird because people started treating me nicely, people wanted to be friends with me... all this BS because I was prettier. All the rude nicknames vanished, and it was just disgusting looking back at it.
just found your channel and wow, this was such a good and informative video, I really enjoyed your pace of explaining things!
Thank you that means so much🥹
Yes. Unfortunately, pretty privilege is a thing. I am pretty myself but I am a very kind hearted soul. After 23 years of marriage and a daughter, I divorced. Never looking for another person, I am in my mid 40s with grey hair and found a 33 year old who is a famous gamer who is handsome is now my husband. I can't help how I look but my heart is full of compassion. I cry at almost everything. Every day I count my blessings. Looks may help get you in the door but it's your personality that men really fall in love with.
I'm a biological girl, but I look like a boy. I had really long hair but I looked like a trans person. I cut my hair short and EVERYONE thought I was a dude. I had this girl in 5th start hitting on me because she thought I was a dude. I am currently crying while writing this, someone please give me some tips on how to be pretty.
Being androgynous is a great gift and i know people around you will make you feel like it’s a curse but it isn’t!!! Eventually when you find the look that makes you happy you’ll realize you are unique and fantastic and being so different has its perks. But i wish you the best and wish you have lots of emotional growth until then😭 hang in there!!
P.s. even now that i have long hair and wear feminine things, people still ask me “what are you” as in girl or boy. Some people want to categorize you so THEY feel better. Its not that you actually appear as a boy
@@linhdieuha Oh, I never thought about it that way. Thank you. ❤️🙏🏼
@@Abbylovesrunning of course!! Us andros gotta stick together🫡😭
As a conventionally attractive girl, I don’t have any male friends. My experiences have made me paranoid about their intentions with me and even female friends (real ones) are hard to develop.
This is why society sucks in general after high school I just quit caring .
I can now understand why Society is regressing. I have encountered different types of privilege and by far they are all beastly primitive.
All are culpable, and I for one choose to think so as to not be part of the problem.
This makes me wanna cry :(
When my friends start complaining about being cataloging, i was like "whats that?!" It was a forgien concept to me, im 22 and i in my life time i got catcalled maybe thrice by old men when i was a kid.
No one asked me out, (2 guys asked me as a joke/dare (separately)).
I relate to incels way more than i relate to average women, sadly cuz they're misogynistic even them they dont accept me lmao.
I hate myself, but mistake that as i would let ppl walk over me or treat me with anything but respect, but ppl have a problem with that, apparently asking for getting basic human respect as an ugly person is too much to ask for.
:( ihml
I think the moment I stopped idealizing beauty is the moment I realized that working on yourself & struggling with shit is not something you can just skip by being beautiful/rich/famous.
I'm glad you're touching on this topic. I'm a guy and yeah I like to see attractive people. BUT when I scroll through videos and I see an interesting video. Sometimes I click on it to see what they have to say. If I think they spent time on the subject I get interested. BUT when I scroll through and see videos on the subject that I am interested in and the first thing I see is they're behind or they wear something skimpy and showing off their boobs or if they seem to be seductive I don't watch it and I block the channel. It's not because they are not pretty because they are. It's because I don't want to encourage that behavior and I really want to let them know that they are more than a piece of meat. Guys will never see you as more than a piece of meat, because All the girls that do this are feeding into a fantasy. Not really a life of true fulfillment. They will always be looking for THE ONE and will never find him.
as an attractive girl i can say that finding friends without envy is extremely hard process^(
seriously, humanity need to cease existence
Yeah I hate the beauty standards I’m a redhead with green eyes I wish I was a blonde
Omg you sound so beautiful
As a proud Ginger myself, rock it, because some people may hate on it but others would die to have our color💯 And at the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is yours💕
@@bellar.402 True true i am Asian more particularly South Asian and I would love to see a real redhead it's such a pretty colour like who can hate it those ppl r only jealous 🌝✌️
I would absolutely love to have ginger hair I see gingers as literally one of the prettiest people in the world so don't worry you don't need blonde hair you're absolutely beautiful as you are
And I want to be a redhead with green eyes.
A reminder for girls: when you age and all your beauty gone, what you do than?
i also wanted to add that the concept of pretty privilege refers to being "average looking" as well, because if you're considered "ugly" according to the societal beauty standards, you have the same results as a privileged person, just in reverse. it's like with any stratification system, you may not be rich, but being able to afford medical care in case of emergency is a privilege.
I was thinking the same. I never experienced that I was considered "pretty", but not "ugly" either. Since my looks never have been a disadvantage for me I still am privileged.