I feel like toxic parents are gaslighting their adult child when they say they are too sensitive SMH. Some parents that purposely verbally and mentally abuse their adult child are Evil.
I recently came to my mother and told her something she did hurt my feelings and her response was “are you going to beat this to death?!?” Mind you, I had only been speaking to her for 4 minutes. My entire life she has invalidated my feelings and at 48yrs old I’m finally sick of it.
Just watched the playback. This video validated my childhood and made me realize it was the adults and I was not exaggerating things. Also, being proud (instead of ashamed) that I am an HSP helps me sort of have compassion for why my family possibly will never understand or have patience with beings like me. Always thankful Tamara for the time you take out of your personal life to help us subscribers grow and be ourselves, beyond on our painful pasts.
You're welcome @theretrowoman80! It's my pleasure because I truly enjoy my work and all of you on the channel. A lot of people have childhood trauma and chaos that they never really realized was trauma or chaos that negatively impacted them. Sometimes it takes years before this truth is realized and it sounds like you can relate to this. I'm glad these videos are helpful in bringing about that truth --- or at least, they are helpful to validate the experience of being invalidated.
Also my mom likes to randomly slap my butt and I've told her a million times before that I don't like it and want her to stop. Last time I was really mad and told her to stop that. Her answer was "I'm your mom I'm allowed to do that". I told her that it doesn't matter and she needs to respect my boundaries. She just laughed at me. This is what happens every time I try to talk to her about something I dislike. She just laughs and doesn't care. I'm so tired about this.
My dad used to do that to me and not only slap but squeeze my butt well into my forties and his response was exactly the same if I complained. He would do it in front of people so I would feel uncomfortable if I said anything. He's never realised how this crosses boundaries but I'm the one with the problem for complaining! It's so emotionally manipulating!
I was repeatedly told by my mother, aunt and others I was " just like my father". My father is a disgusting, empty abusive vessel. I was so confused because i didnt see it. I also saw that he had no insight and concluded as a teenager that they must be right. I consciously chose not to have children for fear of abusing them as my father abused me. I am now 56, childless and it was all a horrible horrible lie. Just another thing not to say to your scapegoat daughter.
I realized something when we were doing groups in the hosipital on tough topics I got easily overwhelmed and shut down. Yet, during these lives that doesn't happen. Why would that be if these touch similar topics?
That is interesting. It could be the environment itself or it could be that you may have lacked the freedom there that you feel here to be open and engage. For a lot of people who engage in online forums, youtube chats, etc. it is often easier to be "faceless" while talking about painful topics. It is also easier to be open when everyone can relate on a common topic and seem to feel similarly which is something that may vary in groups that are brought together in the hospital. It's probably a good thing that you now see that perhaps you can get through these painful topics depending on the environment and the energy there.
My parents are now deceased, yet I am still dealing with the abuse they set ne up to have to deal with after they died. Does it ever end? Will it ever stop? I'm beginning to think no.....
Thank you for having this discussion and I hope you are doing better. It is sad that parents behave this way. I feel like I've become stronger mentally after enduring that abuse. Both my parents aren't alive but i only miss my mom. She had it much worse than me, that's why I work hard to honor her.
You're welcome! And thank you, yes, doing better. Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss too. It's hard to lose a mother, especially if the relationship was healthy and strong. That pain may never leave but you will get stronger to push forward over time.
Completely the case in my life, so true and damaging. I just hope I can find a way to try and fix myself at least well enough to go forward in a positive abs healthy way.
What about withholding compliments or difficulty expressing when you have done something well…is it being careful to not give too much attention ? Or the need to associate my achievement with a sibling in one energy, or just ignoring ? Is that being sensitive to desire acknowledging my individuality independent of my distant sibling?
That's a good point. This too is detriemental to your psychological health. The very people we, as unassuming children, want to please is mom and dad. When we don't get compliments or recognition from them, w3e wonder why.
RUclips will make the VERY lively chatbox available to you within the next 12 hours!! Stay tuned. 😊
I feel like toxic parents are gaslighting their adult child when they say they are too sensitive SMH. Some parents that purposely verbally and mentally abuse their adult child are Evil.
Yeah my mom used to say I couldn’t take criticism
I recently came to my mother and told her something she did hurt my feelings and her response was “are you going to beat this to death?!?”
Mind you, I had only been speaking to her for 4 minutes. My entire life she has invalidated my feelings and at 48yrs old I’m finally sick of it.
After being gaslit for years I finally feel free listening to this
That's great to hear!
Just watched the playback. This video validated my childhood and made me realize it was the adults and I was not exaggerating things.
Also, being proud (instead of ashamed) that I am an HSP helps me sort of have compassion for why my family possibly will never understand or have patience with beings like me.
Always thankful Tamara for the time you take out of your personal life to help us subscribers grow and be ourselves, beyond on our painful pasts.
You're welcome @theretrowoman80! It's my pleasure because I truly enjoy my work and all of you on the channel.
A lot of people have childhood trauma and chaos that they never really realized was trauma or chaos that negatively impacted them. Sometimes it takes years before this truth is realized and it sounds like you can relate to this. I'm glad these videos are helpful in bringing about that truth --- or at least, they are helpful to validate the experience of being invalidated.
Also my mom likes to randomly slap my butt and I've told her a million times before that I don't like it and want her to stop. Last time I was really mad and told her to stop that. Her answer was "I'm your mom I'm allowed to do that". I told her that it doesn't matter and she needs to respect my boundaries. She just laughed at me. This is what happens every time I try to talk to her about something I dislike. She just laughs and doesn't care. I'm so tired about this.
My dad used to do that to me and not only slap but squeeze my butt well into my forties and his response was exactly the same if I complained. He would do it in front of people so I would feel uncomfortable if I said anything. He's never realised how this crosses boundaries but I'm the one with the problem for complaining! It's so emotionally manipulating!
@@angiep8605 yes totally agree! Really glad how new generations become aware of things like this and will hopefully change things.
I was repeatedly told by my mother, aunt and others I was " just like my father".
My father is a disgusting, empty abusive vessel. I was so confused because i didnt see it. I also saw that he had no insight and concluded as a teenager that they must be right. I consciously chose not to have children for fear of abusing them as my father abused me. I am now 56, childless and it was all a horrible horrible lie. Just another thing not to say to your scapegoat daughter.
I realized something when we were doing groups in the hosipital on tough topics I got easily overwhelmed and shut down. Yet, during these lives that doesn't happen. Why would that be if these touch similar topics?
That is interesting. It could be the environment itself or it could be that you may have lacked the freedom there that you feel here to be open and engage. For a lot of people who engage in online forums, youtube chats, etc. it is often easier to be "faceless" while talking about painful topics. It is also easier to be open when everyone can relate on a common topic and seem to feel similarly which is something that may vary in groups that are brought together in the hospital.
It's probably a good thing that you now see that perhaps you can get through these painful topics depending on the environment and the energy there.
Hello luv, I APPRECIATE your hard work !
Thank you so much 🤗
My parents are now deceased, yet I am still dealing with the abuse they set ne up to have to deal with after they died. Does it ever end? Will it ever stop? I'm beginning to think no.....
My father just told me “yeah you’re always the victim”
Sometimes that a defensive and overly easy way to escape accountability.
This was so timely. Thank you love❤
You are so welcome!
Thank you for having this discussion and I hope you are doing better.
It is sad that parents behave this way. I feel like I've become stronger mentally after enduring that abuse.
Both my parents aren't alive but i only miss my mom. She had it much worse than me, that's why I work hard to honor her.
You're welcome! And thank you, yes, doing better. Thank you.
I'm sorry for your loss too. It's hard to lose a mother, especially if the relationship was healthy and strong. That pain may never leave but you will get stronger to push forward over time.
Completely the case in my life, so true and damaging. I just hope I can find a way to try and fix myself at least well enough to go forward in a positive abs healthy way.
I love my parents, however I enjoy the content ❤
What about withholding compliments or difficulty expressing when you have done something well…is it being careful to not give too much attention ? Or the need to associate my achievement with a sibling in one energy, or just ignoring ? Is that being sensitive to desire acknowledging my individuality independent of my distant sibling?
That's a good point. This too is detriemental to your psychological health. The very people we, as unassuming children, want to please is mom and dad. When we don't get compliments or recognition from them, w3e wonder why.
Thank you...
You're welcome!
💜🙏🏻
My problem now is I'm being totally gaslight by my older siblings, it's endangering my health severely. What can I do ?
Hi 2:06