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The benefits of marrying someone who earns as much as you
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- Опубликовано: 27 май 2024
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
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I put my ex wife through dental school and still owe lifetime alimony
The only way to win is to not play
But you can’t win if you don’t play: but you can’t lose if you don’t play either.
😢
@@Chricee_
You win by playing a different game
@@tomyoung8563True lol
Lifetime alimony? What’s the basis for that?
The simple truth is that there's no legal reason for a man to get married in the West. Period. You can get all the same benefits without the risk. I say this as a happily married man over over 10 years and I love my wife wholeheartedly. But the legal system is broken and incredibly biased against men.
It would have been cheaper for me to hire surrogates to have my children.
Legal reason? Kids and tax benefits.. But mostly kids.. Even if its skewed towards mothers in courts.. As long as you aren't a dead-beat dad, you can fight for custody if things go south.
@@sselemaNrM No, you really can't, depending on the laws in your state. I worked eighty hours a week and my STBX was designated as the "primary parent".
@@churljinlee goddamn even in South Korea?
@Mo-kl4fb South Korea has the lowest birthrate in the world. Approximately 0.8 births per woman over a lifetime.
If you look at the leagal bias against men, you will understand.
Don’t get it wrong bois. The girl who makes as much as you is still going to try to clean you out. It’s just a harder argument for her lawyer to make.
They really can’t tho, alimony is based on earning. My gf makes 3 times more than me, if we got married and divorced, I’d be taking her to the cleaners 😅
if she keeps the kids, she can get child support, and in a lot of states that's pretty much a pre-established amount. But 50/50 custody is pretty common these days, especially of both husband and wife have been working up to the divorce; and neither one pays child-support.
Basically, becoming a single-mom in these scenarios is not a financial incentive.
@@joshtukalimony is pretty much dead though, it is child support that's at issue because it is hard on a percentage of your income. So if you make significantly more, even if you share custody, you have to share that with the wife.
To top it off, if a mom is spiteful she can make claims to abuse during the process and not even need to substantiate it, but it will be assumed she's truthful. In fact when my parents separated the lawyers tried to gently suggest and imply that she could get more than just her "share" of assets by making claims of this. (She didn't because her kids would find it and disown her).
Problem is, no point in getting married in the first place if vows mean nothing and a woman can leave for as little reason as boredom and turn your life upside down after decades of dedication. Since there's no need to get married, there's no need to risk divorce. It's that simple
But for the men who have already married and are about to face family courts,
My wife is convinced that she has done the majority of financial earning, even though I have obtained brutal discounts the renovated and transformed the houses we have lived in selling for massive profit. No mortgage and plenty money. Oh and I worked and brought our kids up too. Still if it makes he feel better!
This is your opinion and not the truth. I married a traditional guy who wanted me to stay home with the kids which I did for 3 years after giving up a well-paying it job. And when we got divorced, he actually proposed to the court that I owed him back rent for the time that I didn't work and lived in our house despite me being the one who bought the house. I definitely didn't get any of his money cuz he had none but he got what he could out of me
My father was a roofer, a brutal hard job. My mother slept until 4pm and watched TV all night for 40 years. When they divorced she got the house and he was out on his ass. Don't ever get married.
He was not a roofer for 40 years.
His body would have broken down way before that. Even if hr could do that, he wasn’t very bright to do that for so long.
Did your mother raise children?
Sounds like she was depressed.
It’s not so black and white even if you lived in that house.
Best girlfriend I ever had, had her own money. When you're with a woman as a man there's ALWAYS the question of how much are they there for your stuff vs there for you?
With the career woman you know she's only there for you.
Not if she only wants to spend your money , and keep hers.
@@themick6586 That's true, that's how it usually goes, this woman was unique in that she didn't.
The money you provide is a part of who you are. It's not everything, but it is a factor. Why do we overthink this when the results of the woman's choice are ultimately the same.
@@tyronedawson8553 it is for men. Women aren't expected to provide money for their "partners" in society, they're expected to take it from them.
Because what's hers is hers and what's yours becomes "ours." I disagree from experience on this whole entire premise that a woman with a career won't want your money. Speaking from experience this isn't true at all.
100% true. A lot of guys think they will get more attention from their wives, if the wives do not work. If these guys are lucky, it might work to their favor. If they are not lucky, the consequences are disastrous.
The safest bet is marry someone who makes a similar salary. If the marriage goes south, at least you take your money with you. There's also child support, but these days it's more equitable than it used to be, especially for similar-income partners.
I love how emotionally intelligent this man is. He's so down to earth and looks at multiple view points for every topic.
I actually get more socio path vibes. He forgoes the emotional part and just goes with observations
@@Lady.Luck. He looks at it in logic. Nothing wrong with that.
@@sheep734right but that's not emotional intelligence. I knew one actual socio path in life and this guy reminds me exactly of him.
@@Lady.Luck. I can't speak to his personal life. But I can say that he just logically and rationally explained both sides of an age old argument without talking to either side. This is not even an emotion based topic, spoken in a 30 second clip. If he was talking directly about domestic ab***, or specifically the damage caused to house wives who don't have resources to financially support themselves after a divorce I could understand needing to talk towards emotional damage from a place of compassion.
@@Lady.Luck. I've watched a lot of his clips. I don't think he's a sociopath... He looks at it logically, and respectfully. He makes a lot of good points. He's not a red piller or hates women, if that's what you think. Not freshandfit (though he's been on a podcast with them). Most of his advice is directed towards men, though I'll admit a good amount of his audience are disgruntled men, with many who may or may not red pillers. He gives decent advice to women too.
Divorce rate for college educated women is 90% though smh?
Prenups are and absolute necessity before marriage. Also, premarital counseling asking all the big questions about kids, finances, values, religion, careers, family living locations and expectations need to be hashed out and put in writing. Just winging it is the start of a potential horror story to include divorce, child support, losing custody of children and financial ruin. We need to have laws to mandate the premarital counseling before a license is granted.
I think the conselling can be beneficial dor both sides but people change and have a right to. Im talking religion, living place, etc. Its might not suit you as well as you think to have it written. You also assume a prenup is always the most beneficial to the male...what do you think about a woman with money requiring a prenup?
Speaking of prenups, im reminded of this absolute koontah on Tiktok advising women to take drugs or.prescriptions that alter their emotions and mental capabilities when signing the prenuptial so, and I use caps for emphasis here, THEY CAN SHOW RECEIPTS DURING DIVORCE THAT THEY WERE NOT OF SOUND MIND AND THUS THE PRENUP IS NULL AND VOID.
So be aware of that shit. "Oh, I was depressed. Oh, I had BPD or anxiety. I had glaucoma and was just plain high when I signed that." Absolute name behaviour.
Prenups are pointless, results-oriented judges always find a way to ignore them.
@@headlibrarian1996 We've all heard about those cases when a prenup wasn't honored but that's because they are the exceptions, not the rule. For the most part, they are very effectual tools for divorces that never get in front of a judge to make the decision. Having effective counsel that negotiates well and knows the local judges in his area can also make sure you get on the right judge's schedule. In our district, you can request a change of judge in you case one time. So, if your counsel knows the judge tends to be unfair to your type of case then you request a change. Each state is obviously different, knowing what you are up against from the beginning is important and having a local law firm prepare and tailor your prenup based on previous local conditions is very important and you find out how effective they are at the out set and not when you're in the middle of a divorce.
@@etcwhatever I fully support a prenup being equitable for both the man and woman. A woman with a business or significant income should have the same protection. An agreed upon division of assets and protections of things like retirement plans, spousal support, living location, parenting time, child support, raising children in a particular religion are all things that should be discussed and added to a prenup. I have a daughter, sisters, nieces and cousins I care about and would want to be protected financially in a divorce. Right now the legal system isn't very fair to men for the most part. Times have changed and the legal system is lagging behind. Prenups are just an attempt to try and rectify those aspects of the law.
Well that’s just common sense. Usually those who agree to be “trad wives” don’t have a divorce in their plans but commitment for life. It’s understandable.
I agree with this and never understood why so many men resist dating a somewhat successful woman. I’ve always wanted a woman with her own money so I don’t have to be her daddy, I’d also like her to want to spend money on me, that’s how you know she really loves you for you and not the money. But many men here are right in that it can also easily go wrong for a variety of reasons. It can be hard to find a girl who earns her own money that doesn’t expect you to foot her lifestyle and doesn’t feel bad about dating a man on her level or below her financially. Unfortunately those relationships don’t tend to last due to the dynamic, and I don’t think it’s men who usually end them. It can be hard to find the right woman for which this would work out but I think I’ve always been good at picking out the right ones and I don’t like the alternative of getting taken to the cleaners in the case of divorce.
Because most girls don’t date down, they’re always looking up, especially when they make more than their current interest
Yep....I was a widowed professional at 31 and I never wanted to marry again...I wanted a man who had his money and I kept mine some years he made more than I later I often made moe than him.
We had a jou t acoount for joint expenses but separate savings and retirement accounts worked GREAT for us but we were rare in 1981.
You and James Sexton would make for a very interesting talk !! 🙌‼️
I heard from an older guy when I was 17 years old, he told me when you get married kid start a separate savings and don’t let anyone know if something goes wrong you will have some really good back up savings and can start over
One systems isn't intrinsically better than each other. Once both spouses pull in income and they have children, it often becomes hard dividing up child care and maintaining the house on top of working both jobs. Why do you think IPad kids are common? Both parents are too exhausted after work to deal with their child, so they use the IPad as a way to distract them.
One could argue most women who make their own money are harder to deal with and too argumentative… are more likely to divorce you anyway at the first sign of real stress in the marriage. lose-lose 😅
Good point!
As long as they aren't princesses who expect you to pay for a lot of their stuff while having their own income, you might run into a woman who wants to do it fairly and split things. But she still expects something out of you that she can benefit in some way. It could be a feeling or expected skill of a masculine gender role, and/or at least helping out around the house.. She doesn't want a lazy dude. Most women see how much their moms did and don't want be like her.. They want a helpful partner.. And they also want some autonomy to do their own stuff. That's my 2 cents.
Spot on! It’s a loss on both ends. I’ve seen both sides fuckin up guys day by day
@@sselemaNrM "most women see how much their moms do" riiiight. Bc throughout history women have outworked men... oh wait...NOT
@@TalismanSarkozy9814 Bingo! either way you lose if you're with the wrong person. The reality is women naturally gravitate to men they can look up to.
In these days and times, if you want a nice home, nice neighborhood, nice cars, and family, unless you’re in the top 1% male earnings, you need TWO incomes!!
Guys if you want a "housewife" you must pay her a salary or set up a trust or some type of ongoing compensation for her. Take the romance out of it. Do it early in the relationship. And let the compound interest work
no, you can just not marry and move to a place where they dont gut you.
@@sshreddderr9409 that's another option. But if you are dead set on getting married and she is a house wife. She is not doing it out of the kindness of her heart even if she thinks she is.
@@sshreddderr9409 he was assuming you'd love said wife
@@sshreddderr9409 Premarital Assets in Trust's are your friend.
@@sshreddderr9409World wide women are negotiating harder. And that's a good thing. We will not be undervalued.
It’s impossible to turn back the clock and make things how they once were traditionally in the 1950s you gotta adapt and survive
What if. We all affirmed that 'theres enough money to go around.' Put that vibe out there and see what happens in your life. Never speak lack. Speak more than enough for everyone in my life.
@@jt5792 yep agree
Sounds like some woo-woo type logic.
My X worked full time and made as much or more than me during our marriage. I sacrificed my job and stayed home with the kids more than she did. I also worked 2 jobs to put her through nursing school, she didn't work, at all during 2 years of school. In no fault divorce mediation she got over 50% of my income for 6 years in alimony and child support, all because my last paycheck was bigger than hers. Absolute highway robbery.
😮
Ask any divorce lawyer about the look on a woman client’s face when he tells her that she has to pay her soon-to-be-ex husband because she earns more than him. All ideas of equality between the sexes fly out of the window. Women think ‘What’s his is mine and mine’s my own ‘. There is no valid reason to get married these days unless you want to bring kids up within that particular traditional unit.
Don't get married or cohabitate. Have casual relationships with a few women and you'll be happy.
You wont be happy at the end...
It has nothing to do with being on equal footing. It’s about them having as much or more to lose than you.
So basically equal footing
Wrong perspective to look at in a relationship IMO. The only real purpose for marriage these days is a stable home/family environment within to raise kids.
Guys... Doesnt matter what the situation for women is. The majority are never satisfied. You cant fulfill or understand a mind that is not in balance with itself.
If divorce WAS that the housewife got a good portion of the money, but was heavily socially stigmatized (for both man and woman), that would be much better than the clown show we have with current marriage and divorce laws. If she wants to divorce, that’s fine, but then she does not easily get into another relationship, she said yes, and now, for whatever reason, that’s it. She either chose poorly, or the guy wasn’t who he said he was. But both parties “lose” in this transaction by divorcing.
Now they have divorce parties and trips 😂
@@TheOutlierToday Like I said, absolute clown show.
The clown show came about b/c feminism wanted equal rights but not equal accountability or equal responsibility. Things are shifting though. More women are becoming the breadwinners and this means they will be on the hook for alimony and child support now to a much higher degree than they've ever been in the past. You'll only see the laws change when it negatively impacts women...
"She either chose poorly or the guy wasn't who he said he was"
Those are *not* the only to options, unless you have a very loose definition for "she chose poorly"
I would say that the most common case of divorce is the man doesn't change (at least, not for the worse) but the woman decides (helped by malign cultural influence via social media, "friends", Eat Pray Love, etc.") that she "isn't happy," that she can do better, that she hasn't "experienced life enough" or some other selfish nonsense.
In those cases, I think it's inaccurate to say she chose poorly implying that she picked a bad man. The only sense she chose poorly is that a woman who is that selfish and lacking self-awareness should never choose to marry at all and save any future husband and especially kids the suffering caused by her inevitable choice to divorce.
Happiness is a choice, a state of mind not a fleeting emotion or experience like a hit of adrenaline or dopamine. It is not anyone else's responsibility to make or keep you happy, not even your spouse's. It is always, only, your own. Society's collective failure to accept both of those facts is the cause many or our problems.
Pleasure is not the same as happiness.
People need to focus on Eudaimonia, not Hedonia.
@@qwerty_youtuber What I meant was from her perspective, those were her choices for divorcing. All these, “Well I was just unhappy.” Nonsense reasons for divorce have an actual weight behind them. She doesn’t easily get a redo on this, she either finds the man for life, or she gets to be a spinster. Maybe if the husband dies, then she gets a bit of leeway, but that’s about it.
If you love your woman, its better to get personally married but stay legally single
As someone who earns close to a million dollars a year, I'll just stay single & date casually. It's not worth being taken to the cleaners in divorce.
You can have a prenup. I hope you meet someone and totally fall in love with her. And she’s good to you! Don’t tell her up front about your money.
@@dawnstonerock4253prenups don't work. How many times do we have to go over this?
@@dawnstonerock4253 hopeless romantic shooting for the stars. Better to keep your head on your shoulders and play it safe with women than lose everything in a gamble
Dude Premarital Assets in Trust's are your friend. But at your earning capacity you're real problem is gold diggers.
Housewives choose to forgo economic opportunities and relying on social and court systems to uphold them if their relationships break down. They know exactly what they are doing. Put yourself in that position. Would you spend x number of years without updating your experience/skills while relying on your partner to support you? Personally, I would never take that chance.
I left a technology project manager position when our son was a year and a half. I didn't keep my skills updated. The plan was in place to do so. My husband and I never expected anything would separate us.
He died.
I am still struggling to find reasonable employment. And the planned career change went out the window.
There was life insurance to cover the mortgage and such with some left for a while, but I need health insurance and retirement.
It was a risk being a "trad con," but it was worth it. It isn't a choice everyone would make.
Our son is grown, so I'm not a single mom. Sooner or later, something will work out. We had a good marriage for over 24 years. I sure miss him.
Social media is a platform flooded with opinions of what a marriage should look like, expectations of the husband and expectations of the wife in a complicated and already complex society.
The truth is, that people are selfish, men and women both.
People need to be open and honest about their needs in the beginning of a relationship. So the other can negotiate whether the person is or isn't the right fit.
As per the wholesome traditional wife, as the most desirable. Although it is mainly men who are the driving force behind the uptick of sex work. Makes it very difficult for men to navigate this whole experience and for women to truly even grasp who it is they portray in order to find love!
Valid point.
My wife acknowledges that she did not forego a career to be a housewife, she is quite content with her role
Good points. However their is Hypergamy. Being with a woman who makes about as much as you is quite low. After all women look for someone better than themselves
Not true at all. Stop generalizing with “all” women. I’m a Millionare and my last boyfriend was between jobs.
Better? Better how? Similarity is the strongest foundation to any relationship. Obvious truth.
If I marry I'm agreeing to share my resources while we're married
I would think that the most vindictive ones are the college chicks that are always looking for a "better" man
They are. The problem here is that people are only as good as the rules governing them. And the rules of divorce say that the couple splits assets. High earning women are not able to get as much since they brought in so much more economically.
But she's on an equal footing.
@@hope4463 being on equal footing or being better all of this doesnt matter to men at all. That is simply a thing that women care about. Women project their desires of men onto men and assume men want these things in women. Men care mostly about youth, beauty, purity, loyalty, and kindness. The higher her education and better her job the more expensive she is. No one wants to pay top dollar for something he can get for cheaper. Western women are like buying things at a theme park or in a concert. Captive market and extremely inflated prices.
Probably, but that's not who he's talking about college chicks are usually broke
@@ReallgeemachineThe divorce rate for College Graduate Professional women isn't 50% it's closer to 80%
True.If your spouse is working and able to take care of herself, u may be able to negotiate a separation agreement that keeps you both satisfied and out of the courtroom.
Put mine through school, got a degree that earns way more than mine, didn't, wouldn't stay in the field, and now wants it all. I think it isn't just about what they do, but personality as well. Feeling entitled to both ends.
Women should always have their own career and income for relational power balance and financial security. No dingbat trad wife nonsense! What happens if your husband dumps you in middle age, gets sick or dies. The woman with children is likely to have great hardship and loss of standard of living. Women should always keep their power and earn money!!!
and that mentality is exactly why most relationships fail, why the nuclear family is basically history, why 90% of marriages are left by women, and why men are boycotting dating altogether.
Agreed but women keep proving time and time again they don’t want to get with men who earn as much or less than them, and even when they do that dynamic usually isn’t positive and it doesn’t end up lasting. Women need to get rid of this idea that a man is there to foot her lifestyle, and get rid of notions like my money is my money and his money is our money. I think the issue is they don’t really want a man as the human he is, as a lifelong companion, a lot of them just want him to perform manly duties to benefit them. Not all, but many, and as a guy who wants to be with a woman who is somewhat successful (much easier for both of us plus I’d like her on my level) it can be hard to find.
A man should only marry women that make more money then him so he can get alimony when she dips out
Considering that 80% of divor¢es are initiated by women, Men's 20% is a far safer option for women than men. Essentially we're expected to shoulder the lions share of the risk in marriage. I guess that's why marriage rates to Western women are dropping & men are heading overseas.
these power games is exactly why men should be thinking twice about marrying any of these women.
Because women don't earn to support a family, they earn to have power. Even when the earnings are similar, the vast majority expect the man to cover most of the bills.
God forbid she earns more, because that's a prelude to divorce.
A marriage with a rich wife means that she is a thorough professional, can fend for herself and spends a lot of time working. That’s less time spent arguing or being bitter towards one another. It also allows both to appreciate the time spent together. It’s a win win.
A divorce with a wife who earns well ensures that the children have financial stability. This is unlike most single mothers whose lifestyle decreases 70% after divorce. Any man who wants to ensure that his divorce is less tragic, should want a working wife with high income. Whether or not her meets the kids afterwards, he knows that they’re not financially deprived or living in a rough neighbourhood with crime and drugs.
Totally disagree with this. I was engaged to a woman that earned more than me and even though we fell apart and were never married she still wanted me to give her money past the breakup and she earns over a 100k annually. A woman can act entitled to your money regardless of how much she earns because they aren't rational beings to begin with. Glad I dodged that bullet.
She may have been with you for the resources more than the connection.
No, she had more resources than me and it was definitely for the connection. She was just pissed that I no longer wanted to be with her because the dynamic of our relationship was too dysfunctional for me so she was just being spiteful. She even admitted she didn't need my money, she was just mad. I even told her I would be willing to pay if there was hope for this working out as long as she was willing to concede into some of my needs and she told me then don't pay. She was just expecting money because she was angry. That's how women are. I mean I look at all of my ex's and hope they are doing better in life and wish them the best but a majority of women I talk to get genuinely upset if their ex's are doing better in life and get even more ugly about it. I will never understand this way of thinking but at this point in my life I firmly believe that women think more with their ego than anything else.
@@MrGodgivemeanameBased on what you told me I get the impression that you behaved in an obsequious manner with her. Women hate that and will look to abuse you in hopes that you will man up.
@Yay-hovah well I left her in the end because she wasn't willing to meet my needs and I was pretty clear with her about that. I'm still irritated that she got mad and thought she was entitled to my money after that when she makes more than me and even admitted herself she doesn't need it. Either way, you are right after that relationship I'm done trying to please someone to be with them when they can't even be bothered meeting me halfway.
I agree with you but also agree with the video. I’ve always wanted a woman with her own money so I don’t have to be her daddy, I’d also like her to want to spend money on me, that’s how you know she really loves you for you and not the money. But you’re right in that it can also easily go wrong for a variety of reasons. It can be hard to find a girl who earns her own money that doesn’t expect you to foot her lifestyle and doesn’t act like you described, but I think I’ve always been good at picking out the right ones so I’ll stick to this. Mainly just avoid any ounce of entitlement you may sense.
Thing is hypergamy even split of household income she wants a dude making more. What if her career takes off and she out earns you? Greater chance or divorce from her. If you get a promotion do you turn it down because you now greatly out earn her? Our attraction to women isn’t based on her ability to make money. Its not really tenable to pick a woman based on her income.
All the men I know don't want sons. They want daughters because our society is too gynocentric now.
R.I.P. men 😢
🧢
Delusional much?
It would be interesting to raise an honest woman.
My friends and I have literally discussed that we are thankful our children are daughters. The futures of most men are completely screwed.
I want a son but no women want to have children with me.
I'm glad he's speaking about this. The red pill community is setting up a lot of men for failure by telling them to get housewives.
Red pill says absolutely nothing about having a housewife.
Great for making the negotiations in a divorce easier while also making your divorce inevitable.
Best not to negotiate at all until the government changes the marriage / divorce / parental law in men's favour.
For the kids especially. They need a dad when the mom is crazy and don't allow him to transmit and give what he has to give. I'm not talking $
This is why marriage isn’t for secular people. A marriage isn’t a negotiation based on leverage. It’s a covenant. When it’s done correctly there’s no need to worry about what belongs to who because there was no such thing as a divorce. Divorce is for secular people who call non Covenantal relationships marriages just because you get a legal document.
Omg, the idea of not being able to support myself financially scares the hell out of me. I think it scares my husband to think of having the whole burden, too.
Yes me too. Made sure my daughters all could too.
This is such a good argument. I believe this is true
It isn't just the west, it's mostly the same in Asia as well. Especially Singapore, I've seen so many divorces as a local here that I don't encourage men who have their life together to get married.
Then you should know that not everywhere is like the US where they get 50% in divorce. In many countries, they only get the % equivalent to what they have contributed to during marriage and people have more leeway to hide their assets. So the only one that has more to lose are housewives 😂
And my wife who was an equal earner to me thought she was in charge of everything. She thought her authority at work gave her authority to issue orders at home too. God it was a miserable marriage. Everything was a fight over power and control with her.
If a man earns enough to allow his wife to be a SAHM, he should not treat her like a subordinate. The couple should make joint decisions on everything that involves both of them. When she cooks, cleans, takes care of their children, and takes care of her husband, her work and dedication should be valued and appreciated. He should not be coming in from work one week complaining that she spends too much time cleaning, (he trashes the home like a slob), and then the next week he complains that there are a few crumbs on the counter. "What did you do all day?" He bellows.
He keeps her up all night and then yells at her when she can't wake up 2 hours later to be with the kids.
When she cooks special dinners that took all day to make, he mmh's and ohh's over the food, but when asked if he liked it, he says, "it's food" because paying her a compliment gives her too much power.
This is the behavior that leads to divorce. When he has taken her youth and earning potential, she will need a little bit of money to start her life over. She has kids to support and 15-20 years to catch up to. Asking the man to own up to that is not too much to ask for.
Yes, I agree . But in fact you're depainting a good woman wife mother. The problem is that the bad ones gets the same treatment as the good ones
The problem with having your wife stay home is that, in the case of divorce, she'll be on permanent alimony. So instead of you supporting her in exchange for love and support, you'll be supporting her for ... well, nothing. Forever.
The "split thing" sounds nice and near utopic, when you don't apply it to humans. I mean, you take it in paper, it's actually nice, happily married, two incomes for the HOME, both parts sharing chores, stuff, or even pay for some services, since there's 2 INCOMES for the HOME, it should get easy, all good as long as you got 2 mentally stable, and functional, ADULTS.
If you read between lines, he's pretty much also telling men: "don't legally, marry, it's a fking stacked game against you!"; what can we also take from this? don't expose any weak spots, don't allow any leverage, not a single footstep back, NO chance for negotiation. You succeed, you become THE MAN, you earn it, and from there it's your way or the highway for them.
That’s the sad part… Giving up the traditional family that has shown to have the most stable, balanced, and positive foundation for children and society as a whole because your wife might destroy you in a divorce because you both decided on that particular family unit. Yet in the end, they can play the victim card that they “sacrificed” their financial earning potential.
Well, somebody got to take care of the household, specially if there are kids. If both are out there away from home for 10 hours a day, who's cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids?
If both work and pay somebody to do that it's fine, but would be pricey, afterall it's a job, hire someone and find out how much it would be. Whatever works between a couple.
You don't like the liability Hun?
Either way you will have to pay.
All the dudes saying they got screwed. My sweet neighbor who is very educated and successful lifted her ex-husband into success.. he used that success to out her into poverty after spending their remaining years reading their kids and building a home.... So it goes both ways
Be smart men..... Stay single. No LTRs. Unless of course you want to give half of your shit away...
Of the three levels of thinking, the first two of them aren't strong enough for a great marriage. Both parties should strive for the third level.
1 - me first
2 - fair
3 - service minded (loving and thoughtful)
Why would men even want to get married at all?
@@roberthawkins3106 exactly.
I'm paying maids to clean my house (here in dubai).
I hire an escort, anytime I need a female presence.
With no stupid stories or headache, or any obligation towards her (other than the payment, which is way less than having a gf)
This type of transactions/relationship are way easier to live by.
As for "family", I can still have kids in a different way than being enslaved under marriage rules.
At the end of the day, We are similarly wishing to be fee.. But are we ready to work for it?
I've built myself. And I'm not gonna risk it with a "wife"
R@@roberthawkins3106religious grounds that's really it
Unfortunately, if your partner starts thinking "1", you'll need to downgrade from "3" at least to "2" or even to "1"
It seems like I'm always hearing about women that don't work but the reality is most women work!!
Same
Most women had to work even during the golden era of the 1950’s
Exactly. Women have always been teachers, nurses, maids, secretarys, assistants, seamstresses, farmers, cooks, etc. Like at what point did we not work
@@Lady.Luck. the difference is, those women were still feminine and still prioritized and valued family and motherhood. today, most women are masculine aggressive, insufferable, selfish, do not want family, hate men, and want to kiil their own children
@@Lady.Luck. The bureau of labor statistics disagrees with you... a FAR higher % of men work relative to women. And those men work more hours on average.
my ex wife started earning more than me and then my life became hell. Her hypergamic needs weren't met anymore.
"Raising kids, doing housework and what have you..."
😬
Goodness, that sentence sounds a bit dismissive!
It's sad to think that there are people who have no idea how much time and how much mental, emotional and physical energy goes into the "what have you".
Running a household requires being 'on call' 24/7.
We are aware that this work doesn't provide a basic weekly income but that does not mean it's of little value.
Actually, the fact that it doesn't provide monetary gain, should alone warrant more gratitude and respect for household work.
I have to disagree with Dr. Orion on this one. When you are forced to "negotiate" with your wife, you've already failed.
Your all on your own, live or die nobody cares. Welcome to the future
That is cold af 😮
Never marry!!!!!
Dearest doctor, I under estimated you! You have shown impartiality here and chose the truth, favouring no one. For that, I will subscribe
I understand the preparation for divorce things but why anticipate?
This is why you treat your wife right and not take her for granted. Many men have narcissistic traits when they have house wives. They feel in control and this is mostly why stay at home moms leave. If you treated her right it wouldn't be an issue.
Change family law to employment law and you're making the case for wealth redistribution.
Why not change the laws?
Because the government profits from the current divorce practices, you think they are going to make it fairer in their courts when they lose billions of yearly revenue?.
@@SuperMagnum83 in a democracy you can change government
You better don't even _think_ about making the marriage-mistake. Keep it casual, keep it unwed and keep Your hard work's outcomes.
Very interesting take! Makes total sense
I heard Andrew Tate say they don't need alimony, child support because the men will just do it because of culture values.
Basically, the price of a family is half your worth. Get in for that price and out as soon as the family game is over
Are those women also the ones who, before marriage, get angriest when you suggest that relationships are transactional?
This guy has got it backwards. A woman with a job is exhausted and she will initiate the divorce
If you are a person who focused primarily on your career, this advice is fitting. However, marriage is not just business. Marriage is about love; and personally, I don’t understand the whole prenup deal. If you don’t love someone enough to trust them, don’t marry them. I once heard someone say “if you’re close enough to share DNA with your kids, you’re close enough to share a bank account” and I think that’s very true!
lol pure comedy gold!
Thanks for the laughs
bs. marriage is NOT about "love". thats part of the propaganda that has destroyed the nuclear family. marriage always has been a practical contract to ensure that a family stays together to provide a safe framework for cooperation and community. It has NOTHING to do with feelings, thats some postmodern anti family bs. marriage is supposed to make families stay together REGARDLESS of feelings, because family is the bedrock of society.
same with career. you can either be a mother or have a career, and humanity and children need mothers, at home being feminine and providing a home, not a second paycheck.
women having careers is a crime against humanity.
Love has nothing to do with trust , I love my friends but I don’t trust them
@@imad4857 With all due respect, you probably need to consider finding new friends if you can’t trust them. We all have acquaintances, but true friends are the people you can trust your life with.
A prenup is insurance in the event the marriage fails. You don't drive your car, buy a house, etc without insurance, why would you get married without insurance? It's the biggest financial decision of your life. All that love etc disappears when the relationship ends, and the person you love the most will become the most evil vindictive bitch in the world. That's what the insurance is for - not for who they are now, but who they will become at that time 😂
It would be interesting if a prenup was asked for by a HOUSEWIFE/MOTHER where it was clear that she would be entitled to half of EVERYTHING
That’s the default scenario so the housewife doesn’t have to ask for a prenup stating that she gets half.
@@harveypolanski755 …. Yes it is the default scenario…. But i think men do not think about it
No need for a prenuptial for that. That's the way law makes it for women. Amd nowadays, including the sh..ty ones that dint deserve that much
@@stephanerancourt7188 Yeah, i know. But that is the whole reason that women do not ask for a pre nup… they do not want to call attention to what they are planning on. If a man were asked for this pre nup… he might well have second thoughts… dont you think women know this?
The trad con way works if only one spouse has to work. An economy where both spouses must work circularly inflates the cost of living.
There's nothing to negotiate if each person has their own means. With that aside, housework (done well) is a lot of work without monetary pay - but this is what they chose because they didn't have a better choice.
They are justified, they are the WIFE. Marriage is not his and hers, it’s OURS FOR LIFE.
it’s easier to get out of a marriage in America than a car lease. We’re pathetic.
it depends on what ever works for u
Housework is overrated.
Non-Chads: Move to Nevada
Because it beats “negotiating with someone who is on more equal footing with you.”
Why would a housewife not be equal? She contributes very valuable things. The man needs to look at it as a lifetime investment weather there is a divorse or not. Men can provide for all if us and they would thrive and be needed. 🎉
What if she is a crappy person ? The laws encourage wrong behaviors from women
@@stephanerancourt7188Nobody is a crappy person. That's just an opinion. If you're going to comment on my post plz make it relevant to what I wrote.
Ein klar strukturierter Überblick über die Scheidungsprozeduren hilft, sich mental auf den Prozess vorzubereiten.
I agree, including the way he phrased it.
Yep, this makes sense
The problem with independent women though is they are far more likely to chase the delusion of happiness and ruin their bodies/lives in the process for good men chasing juvenile excitement like a drug. Men have a responsibility to do there best and pick good women but women have a responsibility to not give into every social pressure and impulse as well. Unfortunately there is a lot of collective denial of this because as with many issues likes politics, climate, and business its easier to lose your dignity and compromise over bad behavior to retain some value then risk destroying or losing everything for the unknown.
I worry- because I’m not being taken for my money. Not getting married.
People don't really realize how bad the traditional family is. Not that the nuclear family is a bad thing, but this whole white picket fence in the suburbs. The problem was severe because while the family was a unit, with each having a set of responsibilities, the wife was alone most of the day with the kids. No wonder they went insane, they couldn't have a normal adult conversation and no help. The way forward is to create communities where relationships are monogamous but also where multiple families share the workload for their neighborhood.
Alone most of the day because of stupid govt schools ripping the kids out
Plenty to do all day that’s meaningful and fulfilling when you homeschool !
I know the "no adult conversation" is often stated, but it's completely false. Women have always been able to get the kids together with other moms and talk while the kids are playing, napping, etc. They can go shopping with other moms, go to the gym (many have childcare areas), as well as have conversations with others on the phone. Once the kids are in pre-school or regular school this is even more true -- they have tons of free time once kids are in school, and much more opportunity for fun conversation than their husbands do during the work day.
@rob_9876 still, the closer the community it, the easier it is for the individuals to thrive. Men and women. Nowadays, the way schools are set up, businesses are far from where people live, grocery stores far away as well because of zoning and other policies, everything is Harder to do, especially in poorer communities. So your job can be an hour commute, your kids many go to schools where their friends are also miles away, groceries can take hours to get, and everyone is harder to get together as everyone is away from each other. At least this has been my experience
People are by nature selfish. Nobody will do anything without a perceived benefit.
@CR67 i mean, sure. But what do you mean in this context?
Agreed but the way he says it almost sounds like he’s a hater of women. Too many of those weak men and women on RUclips and it’s 🤢 to me! I didn’t chose to be stay at home and tragedy pushed us to that spot and had I do it over never would! I didn’t want to be a housewife because seen women damaged badly! He abandoned the kdis and me and can’t afford to take him to court because he’s in contempt of court, not paying things which puts me in a further big problem of putting stuff on credit cards and paying interest on it.
There’s many legal tragedies to men and women in the divorce proceedings, but the children are the ones that are harmed the most, especially when the money is not coming in for people that are in a worse situation than me. I’m lucky yeah I pay interest and I lost, but in the end, my children and I won and so many ways
Es ist wichtig, die einzelnen Schritte der Scheidungsprozeduren gut zu kennen, um keine Fehler zu machen.
Myea no. As a stay at home mom, all of your stuff was paid for
After the words "i do", start stacking for her severage package. Everybody wants something. We can skip the lies and just pay them off
"more equal" 🤔 "than you". that means above me and thus is actually not equal. Nope that makes negotiations worse. Trad Cons don't have the headache of the attempt of negotiating; its either his way or she can go walk the blade. Those that are in a negotiating powerstruggle eventually push the man away. That is all a woman will win by seeking to have the same or better status with a man.
I think that a woman with higher income has less claim over a disproportionate amount of the assets anyway. It's not that they act nicer, it's just that a high earning woman can't convince the court to give her more than half of the money because she doesn't need it.
Whew - there are so many bitter men in these comments - what is going on out there?!
We’re getting our pockets cleaned out by you women, that’s what’s going on. We’re sick of it
Sad reality. Most of us have been burnt
‘someone on more equal footing than you’…
This man is confused and potentially confusing.
Thank you for saying this! All the red pill guys argue for women to stay home and then cry about women taking their money. Well, if you divorce they have no choice, because they have no way to earn money! Women who have careers usually aren't after your money. I had a relationship with a child involved and ended up paying him when we split.
You can't make an argument for that ..
Where’s this podcast? Can someone share the link?
Under the "Community" tab or click your "subscriptions" then "PsycHacks" & keep scrolling down to this interview with Eric Siu on his "Leveling Up" podcast.