That hurt my heart so much because I can just picture that poor baby on her knees, hands tightly clasped, head down and just pleading... pleading that she would just make it another day. I can't imagine the fear she had to have been feeling in order to just want to SURVIVE.
That line "they lost their privilege of dinner" BROKE me... just the word "privilege" is so cold.. that should be a BASIC human right NOT a privilege. My heart goes out to all those kids that were exploited by family channels.... they don't deserve that at all
There is only three times a child should not be feed 1. You just literally have absolutely zero access at all 2. They are too sick to keep food down and you’ve already tried (and that very quickly needs to become hospital) 3. They routinely don’t eat on a schedule and you are trying to teach them too.
Also when she threatened her kid for messing with things in "MY house" as if the house is only for the mom and the kids are just granted the privilege of living there
@@jade3886 the weren't just malnourished, they were tied up with rope and duct tape. When they developed wounds from the rope and tape, they would lift the tape, apply a honey and CAYENNE PEPPER mixture to the wounds, then put more tape on. The little boy that escaped and saved his family was in such bad shape that police description said he had BONE DEEP injuries. Those kids weren't just malnourished, they were tortured. She deserves to be locked and never let out again.
What’s really sad is the little boy that escaped Ruby didn’t even ask for the cops to be called- he was just starving and begging a neighbor for food, in fact he hesitated to give anymore information and he kept saying it was “his fault”… So sad how brainwashed and scared he was.
Unfortunately, this is not a new thing. From child models to pageant kids to Disney Channel stars - where there's fame, there's a parent out there willing to neglect their children for a taste. Moreover, how can we protect children online when there's barely other protections in the mainstream entertainment industry?
Mozart's parents would take him and his sister (who was also a musical child prodigy) on concert tours around Europe. Which was notably pretty risky during that era.
I know Illinois is working towards protecting kids. They have made it so parents can be sued if they do not give their kids some of the money that was earned at their expense. More states need to do the same.
I completely agree but I do want to point out that Disney channel and every channel on TV has protective laws for child actors. Family bloggers posting on social media? No laws there. It’s crazy because look at how messed up so many child actors became, and they were technically being protected by the law. It’s nuts.
My daughter's preschool class just had a field trip to a pumpkin patch/corn maze. It was terrible to see the hand full of parents acting SO focused on getting the perfect picture and scolding their four year old for getting clothes dirty (at the literal farm). To my knowledge, none of these people are "influencers." We personally don't put our kids on social media but I get why someone might on their small "day to day" kinda account. What I don't understand is creating misery behind the scenes of the perfect looking pics. Just let the little kids live life.
To be fair thats how my childhood was only it was all documented on film instead. Bunch of "happy" looking photos that were just a bunch of yelling and arguin to get and walking away irritated. I feel like American families have always been toxic nightmares in general..ime
I’ve experienced similar things as a little and a teen. I remember my dad trying to shoo us out of the school on my graduation night after the ceremony was over because they wanted to take pictures and leave. I was trying to spend a little more time with my friends that i would probably never see again after they all go out to college but it was more important to my dad that we just go back home. I’ll never forget that and it still upsets me to this day cuz he was so mad about it.
sadly it predates social media. i remember in the 90s there was this little girl in my grade. she was always very pretty and very put together. one day we had a field day and she'd had a bow in her hair but took it off because it kept getting in the way. her mom came up to the school to volunteer and i'll never forget this mother yanking her daughter's arm and screaming at her and threatning her for taking the bow off. even at that age i was like?? it's all about apperances. it's nothing new to social media, but i think social media has just made it all worse.
This kind of thing is exactly why going anywhere w my in laws often grinds my gears. They're "perfect photo" obsessed. I have a very energetic 1.5 year old girl, and I would much rather that she gets to run around and explore, than the many times she's forced to get scooped up and made to sit still for a picture. She gets frustrated and then when she's angry from all the posing, they can pawn her off on me. I've started allowing a couple of minutes of the nonsense and then I say "no more pictures, she wants to play". Also tangentially related because you mentioned parents scolding their kids for getting dirty when outside - when our daughter started going to daycare, the person we met with explained to us that unfortunately they couldn't prevent the kids from sometimes getting dirty or even losing a sock or two. Like OBVIOUSLY?? But she explained that some parents would get angry about it bc they'd send their kids to daycare in these picture-perfect, insta-worthy and expensive clothes. Our culture is getting so obsessed with portraying that outward perfect appearance that they're sending their literal babies and toddlers to daycare in designer clothes. Be so fr
Fr. So many people have developed unhealthy eating habits, be it eating everything you can get, being disgusted by food, feeling bad for eating oder never feeling satisfied, because their parents told them to finish up everything that's on the table, make comments about their looks or tell them to eat less/not so much. And then the children get body shamed by their family. Or parents who are annoyed and angry at their children for having mental illnesses while not even considering that maybe they're the ducking cause? Like the saying goes, every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child. And I would add loving to that, because there are so many traumatised and with mental illness struggling children who can't hate their parents and feel guilty for everything bc that's how their parents raised them.
And yet society and unfit parents will pressure other people to have children because it's just the thing to do. They talk about having kids like it's getting a new life accessory and it makes me sick.
@@DimaRakesah exactly, and people are always asking, when are you gonna get children?, it's the default and if you don't plan on getting at least one kid, you are an outlier and have to explain youeself or you have, in the eyes of some religious folks, not fulfilled your only reason of existing, giving birth to a new generation that will the suffer from the mistakes of your generation.
I work as a speech therapist. The amount of kids that come EVERYDAY, with delay in speech, language, motor development and things of the same kind PRIMARILY because their parents decide to hand them phones from as young as 1 year is phenomenal. It's just so hard. These could have been perfectly healthy children if their parents had given them minimum attention, and adequate language exposure, but they chose "I can't really take care of my kid, so I just handing the phone. He's 5 now, but he's still not talking, please do something!" Ugh. I understand that in double-income families, it's hard to give attention to kids. But who the hell are you guys earning for? For the child, right? It doesn't have to be much. Just stop handing your goddamn phone to your child. I'm not joking when I say this. Children's Language areas and the areas in their brain for recognising concepts is STILL under development. Please STOP handing your phone to kids under 12. The damage will be irreversible otherwise. I'm not saying this to scare you. I'm just so sick and tired of seeing children suffer everyday as a result of inattentive parents.
My daughter was nonverbal Autism at 3, she had not yet had technology exposure other than TV, but not in great quantities. The first thing that was said at the team meeting with her OT, PT, behavior therapist and speech therapist was "do not give her a tablet or your phone. It will cause further delays." She's 10 now, never had a tablet or phone. We actually got rid of all the tvs except for 1 and she and her brother get about 5 hours of television a week and we watch as a family. She is also in the third grade doing Normal curriculum for her grade with a 1 on 1 tutor and she can express not just wants and needs, but her hopes, dreams, jokes, pretend play. I'm very glad we went with the advice given. Even when it was hard and we were tired.
As a teacher, I can say that there is an epidemic of absent/bad parenting. Parents try and pass the responsibility of raising their kids onto the school, the internet, Netflix, etc. My students are high schoolers and they tend to misbehave because that is what their parents have modeled for them as being acceptable.
I had a conversation about this recently with a friend. It really feels kind the burden of education has solely been placed on teachers when it really should be the parents job too. You live with them and raise them, you should be doing your best to help them in learning.
I teach a group of students (age 10 to 16) how to draw Comics every monday. Yesterday we were in an art gallery to look at the work of an acclaimed comic artist. I had to tell the younger ones not to run and play catch in the gallery several times. I don't know why I thought they knew how to behave in an exhibition.😐
Kids can't read and communicate anymore. They aren't being talked to at home. Their parents are just putting them in front of a device and walking away. It's horrible
@@nineinchthread I would say yes? I do a comic course for five years now at a school and noticed that the most distracted and unruly ones are the ones with the most going on besides school. They usually have divorced parents, ADHD or get treaten badly at home. Since it's an after school activity do I usually try to ease off and explain to them the basics but they can choose between reading comics or drawing their own stuff with pointers from me. But now I have one caught in the middle of his parents divorce and he is angry and restless and I fear he directs his anger inwards. Every time we meet up he has nothing at the end of my lesson, because he erases everything completely and starts over until he gives up completely. This is a first for me.
As a middle school teacher, I have came home crying due to the emotional loneliness my students feel in their own homes. Many do not have connections with their families and only form online connections with people they do not truly know. The amount of anxiety and depression they feel is more than most people realize. Many are leaving this career because "this new generation is so disrespectful," but do not realize they are not being taught social interactions at home. They are learning via social media, and when the channels they are watching are morally questionable, their actions also become questionable. These kids deserve better than what they are getting. A better home, a better community, and a better education system. Thank you for shedding light on this issue!
That can happen even without social media. My boomer mother consistently made me feel like she wasn’t interested in me and like I was a burden when I was growing up and I’m a millennial. This was before social media existed.
unfortunately there isn't still in the majority of places, I know some do thankfully! I don't think much will be done since these channels make so much money- and platforms & companies will always choose money over safety.
@@izzyc127Is this what Illinois has to worry about??? The crime among adolescents is crazy In Illinois( Chicago )and this is what they’re focused on👀👀🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️💁🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️???!!!! They can’t keep a decent grocery store in certain neighborhoods and we’re focusing on kids that have something constructive to do 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️💁🏽♀️💁🏽♀️???!! Stop it with the wrong usage of “exploitative” yes just like anything else some people go overboard but everyone else shouldn’t be put in the box!!!!!
Every child actor/singer/famous from birth : I hated it, it ruined my childhood, I now suffer from depression/addiction/no sense of identity. Young people who grew up getting to know these stories : 'let's exploit our own kids, I'm sure they won't suffer cause I'm so incredibily stable ☺😋😛😜🤪😝🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑'
I've never thought of it that way before. Like I've always hated child actors and kids being o camera but I never thought how fucked up it must be to a young person's brain to pretend to be someone else
@@toffiet3347 yeah. It also depends on how those kids are treated behind the scenes. I think now last I checked a lot of film industry stuff has a regulation where kids who are playing well, a child in a show or movie are given breaks constantly and positive reinforcement. I believe therapy as well. I think they only film for an hour or two a day, often less. Some kids the younger they are, are only acting for about ten to twenty minutes even, because it can be strenuous on them. Especially if the directors and other employees are rude or constantly at each other's throats, or predatory, it affects the child's psyche. Which is where some of the later child actor cases came from. They experienced hell or were on set for too long without good positive reinforcement or self identity that they have identity issues.
That first one where she thought it was funny that her child started praying due to the stress she was under is why so many of us have complicated relationships with faith and religion pretty plainly
Literally saw one of those "van life" families who were bragging about selling everything and spending all their time travelling in a converted bus with four kids who all slept on tiny bunk beds. They didn't even care about all the social lessons those kids were missing and how that would affect them It's heartbreaking
What's crazy is, if they just did their "van life" thing for a summer or maybe even a year, their kids would probably have a blast traveling. But almost no one, especially not children, wants to travel 24/7.
@@cakes6537 Maybe not a year, but travelling for the summer or for a month is fine. Doing homeschool while traveling in a van/camper/rv sounds like a nightmare.
i have been saying this for years. there NEEDS to be a conversation around CPS. THEY SUCK. i was being abused by my mom, for years i have had open cases that were closed. over and over again case workers would come in, talk to me IN FRONT of my mom, then close the case. my house was unstable with black mold growing in the basement, i would tell them in private everything my mom was doing, and they would still close the case. it took her almost dying for me to get out after literally 5 years of open and shut cases. it’s ridiculous
People who haven't had any dealings with CPS have no idea what it's really like. They like the idea of a company coming in and fixing everything, then they can have a good laugh and talk about how great they are as parents.
CPS did nothing for me either like can we please think about redoing the damn system or at least screening the people who take these occupations to put more fucking effort and care and attention in
When i was a nanny, i worked with kids 12hrs a day. Regardless of what the parents did i always had limited screen time for the kids, and the behavior difference is like night/day. Then the parents are like “how come they’re only nice for you?” As if I’m not the only adult in the kids lives who doesn’t pacify them with an iPad. I give them lots of attention and talk to them all day, and i never film them or take photos. Thats why they’re good for me and bad with their parents.
There’s a Latina woman who jus does nails on RUclips & happens to have a high pitch voice & RUclips keeps demonetizing her channel, shadowbanning her, deleting her followers, turning off her comments, anything & everything to keep her down the algorithm & nobody will answer her or give her a reason why. They say something about children & she thinks they are saying she’s a kid bc of her voice? But then it’s actual kids on here like this & …crickets
But you're not a narcissist. "Narcissists don't see their children as innocent children, they see them as malignant, scheming adults." Every innocent mistake a child makes is to them a deliberate attempt to take control away from the parent, to hurt them, etc. Narcissists are abusive parents by nature.
I've got a baby and #2 on the way. I'm even careful with what I share of him to the people I share of him on my private socials when realistically at most a hundred people will see it. I cannot imagine MONETIZING my little one's every moment.
My account is seen only by my family and close friends. And I still won't post photo of my child. Not because they are weird. But because I font like when someone has photo of me I dont know about on their phone. Why would I want it for my kid? When they are old enough and understand what photo is and how all of that works they can have their private account and then public one when they are older (you know wanna save them from the crips saving their NORMAL photos) So yeah... (hope my english is understandable)
I don’t have children. But I have a baby niece. I’ve decided not to post pictures of her on social media, even though she is adorable, and I have been tempted to at times. because, first of all, you never know who was gonna see them even if you have a private account, someone could hack it. Second of all people don’t tend to think about how their kids are going to feel when they’re older and they realize that the whole world has seen their baby pictures.
To add onto the screen time talk, this isn't a new generation thing. It's just more prevalent. I grew up in the 2000s with a stay at home dad who didn't talk to me most days. We just watched TV and played video games for hours on end. I feel like a lot of kids now are going through that same detachment that I felt at that age. I don't talk to my dad anymore. I hardly remember my own childhood because every day was either yelling and screaming or the same shows played on loop. I remember not having a clock so I told time by remembering what TV shows aired when. I don't want these kids to go through that. It's like seeing myself. And it hurts. A lot.
i think one of the worst examples of admittedly exploiting their kid for content was that one family who spent months trying to adopt a kid, then cancelling it after they found out about laws that prevent them for posting the kid online for a few months. they quite literally put likes before love
They also m@rdered their family dog after they allowed their small child to mess with Bowser during meal time and he snapped at the him. No effort to intervene in the child's behavior, or to retrain or rehome poor Bowser. Did a whole professional family photo shoot before the husband took him out back. They are so effing sick.
Yes like we get not everyone can accept and consider adopted kids as their OWN and will only consider bio kids with their DNA as real kids but they should not be adopting them in the 1st place 🤡🤡
As someone who’s Mother was constantly on her phone, YES it did damage my childhood. She made me feel like I was unloved and that Facebook was more important then me, she made me wonder if I was so much of a burden that her goddamn phone was more important then me. And it honestly sickens me to know that some grown-ass adults treat their kids like they are not humans, but as if these children are just tools to get views and likes.
Wow I'm sorry you had to deal with that ❤ I think we're going to start hearing a lot more stories like this as the generations who grew up on social media continue to hit adulthood and speak up.
I never wanted kids and still dont so i got to watch all my friends have children during the era you were born and it absolutely disturbed me how much i would see them shove a tablet in there face to get rid of them and watch the parent play video games or like you said waste away on Facebook. God forbid id ever mention how this is gonna lead to problems down the line and boom here we are. My generation had been a disappointment in almost every conceivable way. Its just sad so many decided to keep up the cycle of apathy with parenting.
that's basically how i felt when my mum chose alcohol over me. technology addiction needs to be taken more seriously because it's making parents neglect their children
As someone who wants kids and probably won’t be able to (I refuse to raise kids in poverty or be ill prepared) it absolutely breaks my heart to hear that. Please know you’re lovable no matter what and all good people deserve love and happiness especially as innocent children. I’m sorry you didn’t have that even though you absolutely were worth it.
@@sukilenz1901 omg i feel exactly the same 🥺🥺 i want kids but i've seen the impact of bringing kids into the world with minimum resources, a lot of my issues stem from this and i can't in good faith repeat that pattern. social mobility is so important.
I worked with kids in the early days of social media. Parents were mostly genx or boomers. The kids that acted out the most were the ones whose parents came in talking on their cell phone, and rushing their child through the door. The routine heartbreak I saw on this one girls face (who had severe behavior issues) when her parents came in like that was devastating. Even when they were on their phone, they came in with the same attitude. She was usually the last kid left so I tried to love on her and give her extra attention in those days. Some parents shouldn't be parents. Social media has just made bigger monster out of behavior that already existed. Edit: and that kid never acted especially "bad" for me. Turns out treating her like a person and not assuming the worst led to her trusting me and not feeling the need to act out. God I wish I have had some words with her parents, but I was 18
Very true. I notice that regardless of whether or not the child was a toddler, teenager, or anything in between, children who act up the most are the ones with the most neglectful or abusive parents. Honestly, I would've acted up more as a child too if I was raised by such self-absorbed parents. I don't feel bad for those parents one bit. I feel bad for the kids, because the "adults" who are supposed to give them love, discipline, guidance, and affection refuse to, and you know that if the child has a mental breakdown, the child will be mocked while everyone will feel bad for the parents because the kid "turned out weird". It's sickening.
If I hate when my family shows videos of me when I was younger to family friends, I can’t imagine millions on millions of people seeing my most vulnerable moments online and how that would affect my mental health growing up. It’s disgusting how the parents do this to their own children.
Hot take - I feel like anyone under the age of 18 shouldn’t even be allowed to use TikTok / Instagram / social media. I got social media when I was 11 and looking back, I would have been so much happier in middle and high school without it. And Instagram back in 2011 is so different from how it is now, I just feel like all the damage it’s done to me would be 100x worse to kids nowadays.
I ABSOLUTELY agree. Every single one of my friends who were on the internet as children were groomed and exploited by adults sexually or otherwise. Its such a deeply dangerous place for kids, and as someone who grew up without social media or the internet, it was significantly better for me. Kids don’t have the skills or understanding to navigate online spaces and critically consider or debunk the information they’re consuming. Extending that; adults should never be allowed to post images of their children. I understand taking photos, it’s important to recall memories and savor moments of childhood, but posting those vulnerable, intimate photos should be banned.
I agree, but I don't know how we can ensure that no minors use social media. RUclips has an age limit, but there are still tons of kids under 13 with youtube accounts watching whatever they want, because kids lie about their age online all the time. I would love for social media to not be used by minors at all, but we need a way to make sure kids can't just lie about their age (not sure how though).
@@Sillymodezeenith One RUclipsr brought up a good point (Momma Uncharted) that even with normal and innocent photos of your children online, people can make deep fakes of your children these days or use it to stalk the children. Parents who post their children in exploitive and embarrassing situations are awful, but even innocent parents simply sharing a photo of their child at their school or outside their home can lead to something bad.
I feel like minors shouldn't have so much exposure to the point of being exploited on the internet. God knows where they'll end up eventually. Even adults sometimes would just let things happen rather than prevent it from happening.
What you say at 25 min mark is exactly why I haven’t had kids yet, and I tell others “I’m not grown up enough to have them” even at 29 years old. So well said Salem!!
As someone who also works with children, you can definitely tell which kids receive more attention and love from their parents/ Gardians, then those who don’t. I feel like kids are very special very precious. Wonderful beings that deserve respect kindness and love. I think this goes for everybody but especially for children. They are new human beings. That are learning life for the first time, so I feel like it’s very important in the early years to set that loving foundation. It always breaks my heart when I when I hear that children are being treated terribly it always breaks my heart.🙁💔.
As a millennial, your message to millennial parents hits deeply. I’m not a parent yet, but I’ve been scared to be one because, frankly, I’m terrified to inadvertently give my future child trauma. But hearing how kids remember their time, connections, & the safe space created with their parents is so insightful & important, and I want to keep that in mind for the future. 🥰 people like you who spread awareness and work with children who need the connection and support truly bring more light into the world.
There’s a lot of moms and parents “breaking the cycle” of trauma with their parenting. At least that’s the goal. The world can still traumatize them, and we won’t be perfect, but heck, life is beautiful and we’re making sure our kids have more secure bonds with their parents and a childhood better than we had.
It’s so funny how people tell women who don’t want to have children how “selfish” they are. I’m sorry, Brenda, but what’s selfish is having kids when you yourself haven’t done the inner work to be a stable, decent human being just to end up making your offspring your personal punching bag. What’s selfish is lacking the resources to properly take care of yourself, and bringing another person into the world just to struggle unnecessarily. Having kids is a HUGE responsibility. Those who actually bother to weigh the very serious implications of having a child, and decide they’re not equipped to do so (or simply do not want to) are the opposite of selfish.
No one seems to understand how dangerous this is. I moderate groups where people will fully dox their kids FULL NAMES and show photos just to tell something sweet about their kid, not realizing that a group full of 20K strangers can literally just go to their page and find out where they live. :/
For real wish you could call child protective services or MCFD on these parents who neglect their kid’s online use; sexual exploitation, unsafe friendship with adults, bullying, and so much more. NOT to take the kids away; but to put PARENTS in MANDATORY classes on proper parenting in this internet age and family therapy!
I think I remember hearing that multiple people in the past had called cps on that eightpassengers family but nothing ever came of it until now. I feel like that happens way too often when cps really should step in.
Random fact: I have to call RCMP on a 11 year old now because she told a 16 year old to “KYS”, which is illegal here 🇨🇦. Of course I contacted the parents first; but nothing was done obviously as in what kind of involve parent(s) let a 11 year old contact a 16 year old online in the first place. So the law it is.
@@Pixel-Pop what?? she’s 11! we all said dumb stuff in elementary school and couldn’t fully comprehend the consequences of our actions or the gravity that words carry. there’s no reason for you to take legal action against a kid, especially as a completely tertiary party
Wren Elenors mom especially upsets me because she is at a stage in her "internet fame" where she is still very able to protect her daughter and take her offline and let her grow up normally She chooses not to. The money is just too good for her.
My mom is not a perfect person, but for everything I could point to and wish she hadn't done it, I could point to two things she experienced in her own life or saw someone else go through and said "That will NEVER happen to one of my kids--" and she made sure it didn't. Just be there for your kids. Treat them like humans.
Wow this comment just made me cry. My relationship with my mom has always been more good than bad, but I know that she was mistreated growing up. Seeing your comment made me really think about all the work she put in and the effort I know she must have made to make sure she didn’t pass her generational traumas on to me. ❤️
when youtube had the comment “situation” where “people” (cant call them people really) were putting time stamps on kids videos when they were in a form of comprise (swimming, ballet, playing, ect) in order to enjoy it - youtube should of stopped incentivizing kids channels at all costs not just removed time stamps for videos with kids under 12
My brother and SIL had their first kid a year or so ago. She mentioned to me how much she'd like to be a mommy vlogger and she doesn't understand why it's controversial. Luckily she doesnt have a creative bone in her body so i dont see it becoming a reality, but still. I didnt want to lecture her so i just said something like "i just think its messed up when a kid is the family's breadwinner" and left it at that. I feel for these kids
This video hits me in a place close to my heart. I work with kids and my gosh it tears me apart how much these kids are ignored. The practice of shoving a screen into a kids hands when adults don’t want to deal with them is horrible. It’s done a number on the entire generation.
I'd be interested in your take on feminism/housework. I've been thinking a lot about the webcomic "You Should've Asked" and Eve Rodsky's book "Fair Play" - and trying to decide if I ever want to be in a romantic relationship again, given the way we raise men in our culture. I've been in relationships where I've done things like - clean mouse scat off a kitchen counter while my boyfriend watched (in his apartment) and regularly clean bathrooms, well before the man and I lived together. Not to mention the lack of general mental health awareness/personal grooming I've seen. Maybe I just pick a whole lot of lemons, but there seems to be a bigger issue with gender roles in the home; the woman tends to do all the housework - or be the one to initiate a change the paradigm - never her male counterpart. Obviously, this is particularly an issue in heterosexual relationships, as my overall impression of queer relationships is that they have to figure these things out explicitly rather than take them for granted. Oh, and there's also a romance novel that deals a lot with these subjects: "Happily Ever Ninja" by Penny Reid. They do this massive spy caper and yet are arguing mainly about housework the whole time. Weirdly relatable and a good time. 🦆
This isn't what you regularly do, but I'd really like to hear you talk more about parents/parenting, entitlement and the effect it has on kids with the parents being completely oblivious to the damage they do since unfortunately this doesn't only occur with millennial parents. Maybe you'll find a way to tie it into a video or something idk. Stay safe ❤
Interestingly enough as a 90s kid my dad would make a bunch of home videos of us with those giant video cameras, the kinds that use tape. And there’s a bunch of VHS videos of us learning how to ride bikes, losing our first tooth, learning how to crawl and etc. I think family channels probably started with people trying to vlog childhood milestones to safekeep for later like 90s parents did. But ignoring the BIG GLARING DIFFERENCE that my home videos will never be online and are unprofitable for my parents to exploit. While… not only are the family vloggers children’s personal moments online forever for strangers to see, they also won’t stop posting them because they make money from that. In some videos on RUclips the children are even begging for the parents to stop filming them and it’s so sad.
I just think they should be demonetized straight away, if the children are involved in any way. Then parents loose incentive and just stop, because no profit.
@@NanaHeraUA absolutely children have a right to privacy and can say “no” to being filmed. Even if they say yes it’s still all so yucky they just shouldn’t be exposed to filming at all.
Yeah, the difference is in the 90s and early 2000 people would make Home videos and share them amongst friends and family. Unless you sent them into a television station (like America’s funniest, Home videos, for example) or something like that then they were not seen by strangers.
Much of Parent culture still see kids as an asset, emotional stuffie or a sometimes funny annoyance, it doesn't surprise me this happens but it sure has me left in furious tears every time.
The clip of the woman brushing off how her child prayed to God asking him to help her survive cut me pretty deeply. The way she callpusly brished off that her child was in pain and desperate for help reminded me of my own mother. We shouldn't be coddling kids, but at the same time the willingness to brush off real suffering because "theyre a kid, how bad could their life possibly be" or "i give them a home and shelter, there are people out there who are *really* suffering" or the classic narcissistic approach "I had it way worse and Im currently going through so much more than this child, therefore they dont deserve my sympathy." Its truly horrible.
It’s paradox that children can be the main source of income for family channels while simultaneously not reaching the age minimum for the given website. How can a child be monetized when it couldn’t create its own account if it wanted to? I wish that the safety of children wouldn’t be an afterthought for the websites, parents, and consumers :( Ultimately, child protection should be extended to the online sphere.
When my first daughter was little people would push me to put her in modelling, acting or commercials. I have always been against anything that monetizes my relationship with my kid. Idk what makes people think literal child exploitation is ok..
Yknow what really shows the hypocrisy of these social media sites? Their TOS most often says something akin to "ages 13 and up users only." But they allow these children to be *in* content that exploits them on their platform...
Your speech at the end had me nearly crying too!!! “You could give your kid the world, but you chose trauma?” Ugh. As someone who grew up in an emotionally chaotic environment, it hit home with me. We need to expose more family channels fr!!! It makes me so sick
I 100% agree with you girl. You said exactly what is needed to be heard and I'm so glad you are talking about this because this "family channel" bullsh!t is horrible. Love you, Salem 💗🦆
Thank you so much! Family channels are stealing kids childhoods away and I hope that this video can at least educate some people out there on how it can become a slippery slope to trauma!
A teacher I know says she cannot tell which 7 year olds in her class have had a lot of screen time at home growing up - but she can always tell who didn't get a lot of parental attention.
As a parent of young kids, who’s had to cut toxic family off and do my own work to not pass on these patterns to my kids - thank you for making this video.
Talking for myself: In a phase where I wanted children on my own but couldnt get pregnant and loved watching cute little babies and kids but once I realized that its sooooo damn wrong I stopped supporting those channels. I wasnt mature enough and luckily once I realized all this a few months later I got blessed with my own little girl… who certainly wont be on social media till she can grasp the concept of it
I’m so glad you were allowing yourself to be vulnerable at the end. At this point I feel like “parenting” or being a “parent” has been glorified to be some kind of title or achievement in our lives. A lot of people only value the idea of being a parent but not fully understanding the responsibilities they have to put in.
Tbh I was more hurt when my parents didn’t attend my first flute solo as a choir accompaniment in high school (something legitimately came up but I was still sad) than when I didn’t get something I asked for for Christmas or birthdays. Just be there for your kids
Idk if you've seen the "skibidi toilet" memes, apparently gen Alpha's first widely popular meme, but the adults in the meme have camera heads. It always makes me pause. I feel that filming children is traumatic to them to an extent that we don't even fully understand yet.
oooof. that hits hard. my parents love me, but they were so bad at listening to me and seeing me and being emotionally available. kids really do need emotional support more than anything
I'm ashamed to say I used to be a family channel watcher when I was younger and before I educated myself on the depths of the manipulation and exploitation that goes into family vlogging. From my perspective and looking back, I had a very unstable childhood and I think where a lot of the gratification came from with watching these channels was seeing that 'stable', 'healthy', 'perfect' family dynamic I felt I had been missing. Obviously I'm now aware these channels are anything but that but you can see how people get drawn into watching them
Same. I was in middle/high school w maybe 3 friends I couldn't just hang out w whenever bc if it wasn't my parents saying no it was my awful ex who would raise hell. It was just nice eye bleach from my life at the time.
As someone who used to watch family channels as a teenager, I can say that I personally watched them bc I lowkey almost lived vicariously through them. I didn’t have an abusive upbringing or anything but it was a bit unstable bc I was raised by a single mom. She did the best she could. But I guess I used to watch these family vlogs and kinda saw what ‘stable and full’ families looked like. I used to watch the shaytards and it’s judyslife. Obviously now as an adult I realize how exploitative it is.
My cousin works with children and studied child behaviour and psychology. She says that too many kids are given screen time from a young age, which we all know is bad, but we don’t know what it can lead to. It can cause improper social skills, aggression, and developmental issues. My cousin herself doesn’t let her toddler watch anything, only one kids show per week, no more than 10 min.
My dad and his wife adopted a 2 year old, and I've been very adamant at trying to inform them about stuff like elsagate that I had to live through, that they had no idea I'd even seen at the time. As a kid who watched my little pony, I remember opening a tab to search rainbow dash fanart at age 6 and finding brony porn. We watch shows with him, but we make it so we monitor what he's watching and are with him in the room. We also make sure we are watching more regulated platforms like Netflix or Disney, because even as much as I hate streaming services, it's safer than clicking a video on RUclips Kids and hoping it's not fetish material.
As a mom myself that last bit of the video made me cry. I worry so much about my children's future I get stuck in my own head trying to think ahead and I feel myself missing the present. Thank you for the reminder that sometimes getting back to basics: love and a place of safety is all they need. I really needed this today ❤
🦆 I've seen the parents of the younger generation in action - it's terrifying. I've had an anxiety attack over dinner as 2 kids watch 2 different videos at full volume on either side of me. Aside from being overstimulated I was mostly mortified for the state of THEIR brains. I hate that people think that's okay.
Thank you so much Salem, it gets me very emotional, to think and to know I already hurt my kids. I have enough excuses, but they are just to sooth my own guilt about my shortcomings. I'm a working single mom of 3, I'm stressed and addicted to my phone because of it. But this was the kick in the butt I needed to continue to better myself. It stops with me!
Samesies. Ms. Rachel has been so helpful teaching my little ones to speak but it's so hard to balance what's educational screen time vs. using screen time as a crutch. Parenting can be overwhelming sometimes and its hard not to beat ourselves up over it.
25:00 someone without children offering some of the best 'parenting advice' I've ever heard definitely wasn't on my 2023 bingo card , the irony. God bless you Salem. As a childless person who works with youth in the foster care system I 100% co- sign every word 💯
I will never understand why these people continue to put money and fame before their kids. If these people are in need of money that bad why not get a job instead or become an actor instead. YOU DON"T NEED TO USE YOUR KIDS FOR THAT!!! It's annoying. The exploitation of these children needs to end!
You should actually look at the 8 passengers case. Yep Ruby is a horrible mom but the real absolute psycho leading role goes to Jodi. It’s way more complicated than what it looks like. She has broken many families appart and her niece opened up and told people her aunt (Jodi) tied her up and put duck tape on her mouth just like the child who ran to his neighbour for help. Jodi is almost like a cult leader when you look it up. It’s absolutely mind blowing.
🦆 Great video! As a young mom, during my pregnancy, I always grappled with social media and putting my little one out into the world like that. Many years later, I'm happy I chose to keep those moments sacred and just for her. My entire world ❤
My mom was very much about trying to obtain the image of a good Christian family, but that was long before vlogging was a thing and it still effed me up just to know she cared so much about appearances. I can only imagine how much worse it would be if mothers like mine were incentivized to put our lives online and parade us around for money and views.
i hate my mom making tik toks abt me. even tho theyre not big, it rly is an invasion of my life. i rly dont want any part of my life on tiktok cuz i hate tiktok
I grew up watching nearly exclusively family vlog channels, e.g. Shaytards, because my own family life wasn't too great and it was like an escape for me. It made me feel good, watching a happy family. It's not that I felt like I was part of them but I did get to vicariously live through them, if that makes sense. I just discovered you and your content is amazing!! Can't believe how well-spoken you are and how thorough your content is thought out.
We need mandatory free parenting classes. So many parents want to do right by their kids but don't know where to look for helpful information, or there's a pay wall, or lack of time. People are spread so thin these days…
I’ve missed you! Lovely to see you back on screen. Exploiting children can be really abusive!!! Unconditional love and quality time is all any child’s needs. Parent selfishness V innocent children. I don’t believe that children should be on media since they have absolutely no choice. Completely agree with you!! Well done!!
🦆 as a 28 year old parent of a 3 year old, thank you for your message. it made me realize certain things and youre absolutely correct. my daughter deserves better ❤
🐥🐥🐥 it's devastating hearing some of these channels being exposed especially 8 passengers. i already struggle a lot just because my mom happens to be a workaholic and was almost always at work, but i cant imagine how much worse it will be for these kids whose parents are RIGHT THERE but at the same time so attached to social media's perception of them. and when you cried i completely understood it. kids don't deserve that
Oh Salem, you're totally right. I firmly believe in the saying "Every child deserves a parent, not every parent deserves a child". Loving the child you have brought into this world is more important than anything, so those who are not prepared to handle a life that may grow up to hold different beliefs or identifies differently from what you know should not have a child until they have healed themselves. Parents who seek to milk money from the most embarrassing and personal moments of their children's lives are horrible. We can spread hate and trauma but we can also spread love. Thank you for being so passionate about the rights of children, we need more people to call out family channels like this.
as a young gen-z I have gone through this, i was on the internet at a young age. and my parents barely existed for me. i now, as a teenager constantly need validation for my feelings. time and time again, because i was never heard, and because i was never seen. it is so infuriating to live like this, and at such a young age aswell. i cannot imagine the amount of trauma gen alpha is going to have, because not only are they scrutinized for stuff as silly as the damn 'Skibidi Toilet' like just let them live goddamn. anyway, thank you for coming to my ted talk.
I’m really glad that my parents didn’t do anything like this and only put images of me in the internet that I wanted on there, only on private accounts of course. The only reason I can see something being posted about someone’s kids on the internet is if it’s a private account and the only followers are family.
Millennial homeschooling mom of 3 here. This video is so full of truth. But there is a wave of gentle, attached parents our here. The circle that my family is in has so many gentle parents that it takes me by surprise when I see such blatant and conspicuous disrespect toward children. I've personally never seen any family channels but I recall a cousin of mine sharing a video on Facebook years ago of her daughter having a tantrum and the caption was something like "this is what I'm putting up with today" and I was so disgusted. Get off the phones. Talk to your kids. Play with your kids. Love them for them. And read some parenting books. A small list for starters: The Joyful Child by Susan Mayclin Stephenson Good Inside by Becky Kennedy How to Talk so Kids will Listen by Faber and Mazlish
for the french-speaking/french-reading people, there is a great France-TV documentary called "Enfants sous influence", in which a girl who was exploited like this by her mother talks about the life after this trauma. She's also part of an association trying to protect the children
I think this is my favorite video of yours so far. Your criticism for this topic is on point and even the added commentary on how not everyone should have kids and highlighting the fact that you should only have kids when you're mentally ready to not give your own kids trauma is just *chef kiss*
🦆 I got emotional at the end too when you started talking about generational trauma and parents neglecting their kids for their phones since I have parents like that. They care more about their reputation than actually having a relationship with their kids unless conditions are met.
I feel your tears. I've cried so many times when I see people have a genuine and loving bond with their parents bc it's so foreign to me. I have become so horribly traumatized from the emotional neglect. I could never in a million years understand how people can go through that and then put their children through the same. 💔
Because they think it's normal. Even the ones who swear up and down that they'll "be nothing like their parents" often don't have the self-awareness to realize that they have a lot of similarities with how they parent their kids versus how they were raised.
I keep seeing all these ppl from my childhood getting pregnant straight out of highschool and it worries me so much bc although I don't know the person they are now. I knew the person they were back then and all the trauma that led to bad decisions in their youth. It worries me so much that they'll unintentionally teach their own trauma to their kids if they continue to refuse to seek help and actually put the work in to heal themselves. Not to mention so many of them have created a image in their head that they are wiser and more mature now just bc they had a kid and have those responsibilities, but that factor alone doesn't make you any more mature or wiser than b4 having the kid. This goes for anyone who wants children or already has children but you can't be the best parent for your child if you're not being the best version of yourself, this includes healing your inner child and addressing traumas from the past as to not repeat past unhelpful coping mechanisms that could affect your childs development/ behaviour. All it takes is one small mistake for a lifetime of trauma for your child.
As someone who has had to watch my younger siblings get neglected because my parents care more about their phones and shoving one in front of their kids faces, this hits home. I hate going over to their house only because I can see how little attention they're getting. It hurts not being able to give them everything they need in the short few hours I'm over there. They don't know how to interact with people. If they don't get exactly what they want (which they usually don't even know what it is) they throw an all out tantrum or run away and hide instead of communicating their feelings and desires. It makes me sick knowing I need to help them heal later on in life even more than I've had to heal.
Used to love the Saccone-Jolys as a kid. Watched them daily. The more I watched the more uncomfortable I got around how differently they treated their daughter vs their son they had at the time. Just makes me feel ill now
“Dear Heavenly Father, please help me to survive” That’s NOT CUTE. That would break my heart if I was a parent. I’d be questioning myself so bad and feel so much guilt. Like what did I DO or somebody else DO for my baby to even SAY THAT? Broke my heart, I can’t imagine actually hearing it
I really liked this video. I agree with you on it 100%! Especially that last part. My mom will always say “my parents did this my parents did that” I’m like so? Are you your parents? Why not be different be better? “My parents used to hit me so it’s okay” “my parents used to put me into the middle of their argument’s so what you go thru is okay” like no! If you didn’t like it why would to repeat the cycle? It’s already ended with me since I’m nearly 29 and I don’t have kids. My mom had 5 kids by my age
Hearing you yourself get emotional and break down while talking so eloquently despite it all was so, so powerful. It’s really clear how strong and sure you feel in your view here, and I hope you reach many people with this! Thank you for talking about such a hard and complicated topic, you’re a good egg!
Started crying when Salem said “you could give your kid the world but you’ve chosen trauma?” Idk bro this is so heartbreaking
Hits way too close to home. I hate that so many more are going through that.
!!!!!
Just awful 😤😤😤
First time watching I subscribed after the Chanel joke
Certainly a hard hitting comment, felt it in my soul..!
"Dear heavenly father, help me to survive" is so harrowing to hear from anyone let alone a small child.
It was truly chilling to hear.
How old were they?
@@bethbaxter2922 i think maybe 8
Sadly, I think she was even younger.
That hurt my heart so much because I can just picture that poor baby on her knees, hands tightly clasped, head down and just pleading... pleading that she would just make it another day. I can't imagine the fear she had to have been feeling in order to just want to SURVIVE.
Imagine telling your children that eating is a privilege and not like…a basic need to stay alive?
Shocking that one of her kids ended up with an ED
Whilst she can afford them the most luxurious meals
Imagine saying "Heavenly father, please help me to survive" is the cutest thing your small child can say...
@@jillluciani2866 yes that is also absolutely disgusting. like why would you think it’s cute when your child is literally afraid of DYING
@@lupine.spirit Exactly! It's disturbing af
That line "they lost their privilege of dinner" BROKE me... just the word "privilege" is so cold.. that should be a BASIC human right NOT a privilege. My heart goes out to all those kids that were exploited by family channels.... they don't deserve that at all
There is only three times a child should not be feed 1. You just literally have absolutely zero access at all 2. They are too sick to keep food down and you’ve already tried (and that very quickly needs to become hospital) 3. They routinely don’t eat on a schedule and you are trying to teach them too.
Also when she threatened her kid for messing with things in "MY house" as if the house is only for the mom and the kids are just granted the privilege of living there
luckily shes facing jail time for everything she did to those kids, the younger ones were malnourished
@@jade3886 the weren't just malnourished, they were tied up with rope and duct tape. When they developed wounds from the rope and tape, they would lift the tape, apply a honey and CAYENNE PEPPER mixture to the wounds, then put more tape on. The little boy that escaped and saved his family was in such bad shape that police description said he had BONE DEEP injuries. Those kids weren't just malnourished, they were tortured. She deserves to be locked and never let out again.
@@winniethepooht5776 i didnt know about this... that is absolutely horrifying :(
What’s really sad is the little boy that escaped Ruby didn’t even ask for the cops to be called- he was just starving and begging a neighbor for food, in fact he hesitated to give anymore information and he kept saying it was “his fault”… So sad how brainwashed and scared he was.
Unfortunately, this is not a new thing. From child models to pageant kids to Disney Channel stars - where there's fame, there's a parent out there willing to neglect their children for a taste. Moreover, how can we protect children online when there's barely other protections in the mainstream entertainment industry?
Mozart's parents would take him and his sister (who was also a musical child prodigy) on concert tours around Europe. Which was notably pretty risky during that era.
I know Illinois is working towards protecting kids. They have made it so parents can be sued if they do not give their kids some of the money that was earned at their expense. More states need to do the same.
I completely agree 💯❤
I completely agree but I do want to point out that Disney channel and every channel on TV has protective laws for child actors. Family bloggers posting on social media? No laws there. It’s crazy because look at how messed up so many child actors became, and they were technically being protected by the law. It’s nuts.
yes! alyson stoner’s series she’s doing about child stars is very enlightening and heartbreaking
My daughter's preschool class just had a field trip to a pumpkin patch/corn maze. It was terrible to see the hand full of parents acting SO focused on getting the perfect picture and scolding their four year old for getting clothes dirty (at the literal farm). To my knowledge, none of these people are "influencers." We personally don't put our kids on social media but I get why someone might on their small "day to day" kinda account. What I don't understand is creating misery behind the scenes of the perfect looking pics. Just let the little kids live life.
To be fair thats how my childhood was only it was all documented on film instead. Bunch of "happy" looking photos that were just a bunch of yelling and arguin to get and walking away irritated. I feel like American families have always been toxic nightmares in general..ime
I’ve experienced similar things as a little and a teen. I remember my dad trying to shoo us out of the school on my graduation night after the ceremony was over because they wanted to take pictures and leave. I was trying to spend a little more time with my friends that i would probably never see again after they all go out to college but it was more important to my dad that we just go back home. I’ll never forget that and it still upsets me to this day cuz he was so mad about it.
sadly it predates social media. i remember in the 90s there was this little girl in my grade. she was always very pretty and very put together. one day we had a field day and she'd had a bow in her hair but took it off because it kept getting in the way. her mom came up to the school to volunteer and i'll never forget this mother yanking her daughter's arm and screaming at her and threatning her for taking the bow off. even at that age i was like?? it's all about apperances. it's nothing new to social media, but i think social media has just made it all worse.
*Other parents* are rising up higher and higher on my list of arguments against having children.
This kind of thing is exactly why going anywhere w my in laws often grinds my gears. They're "perfect photo" obsessed. I have a very energetic 1.5 year old girl, and I would much rather that she gets to run around and explore, than the many times she's forced to get scooped up and made to sit still for a picture. She gets frustrated and then when she's angry from all the posing, they can pawn her off on me. I've started allowing a couple of minutes of the nonsense and then I say "no more pictures, she wants to play".
Also tangentially related because you mentioned parents scolding their kids for getting dirty when outside - when our daughter started going to daycare, the person we met with explained to us that unfortunately they couldn't prevent the kids from sometimes getting dirty or even losing a sock or two. Like OBVIOUSLY?? But she explained that some parents would get angry about it bc they'd send their kids to daycare in these picture-perfect, insta-worthy and expensive clothes. Our culture is getting so obsessed with portraying that outward perfect appearance that they're sending their literal babies and toddlers to daycare in designer clothes. Be so fr
Most people are wildly unfit to have children, which is why most of us struggle with trauma and mental illness as adults.
EXACTLY not all people deserve to have children. they say children are a blessing, but are they being a blessing for their children?
Fr. So many people have developed unhealthy eating habits, be it eating everything you can get, being disgusted by food, feeling bad for eating oder never feeling satisfied, because their parents told them to finish up everything that's on the table, make comments about their looks or tell them to eat less/not so much. And then the children get body shamed by their family.
Or parents who are annoyed and angry at their children for having mental illnesses while not even considering that maybe they're the ducking cause?
Like the saying goes, every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child. And I would add loving to that, because there are so many traumatised and with mental illness struggling children who can't hate their parents and feel guilty for everything bc that's how their parents raised them.
@@jil12345probably why alot of gen z is choosing to not have kids or way later.
And yet society and unfit parents will pressure other people to have children because it's just the thing to do. They talk about having kids like it's getting a new life accessory and it makes me sick.
@@DimaRakesah exactly, and people are always asking, when are you gonna get children?, it's the default and if you don't plan on getting at least one kid, you are an outlier and have to explain youeself or you have, in the eyes of some religious folks, not fulfilled your only reason of existing, giving birth to a new generation that will the suffer from the mistakes of your generation.
I work as a speech therapist. The amount of kids that come EVERYDAY, with delay in speech, language, motor development and things of the same kind PRIMARILY because their parents decide to hand them phones from as young as 1 year is phenomenal. It's just so hard. These could have been perfectly healthy children if their parents had given them minimum attention, and adequate language exposure, but they chose "I can't really take care of my kid, so I just handing the phone. He's 5 now, but he's still not talking, please do something!"
Ugh. I understand that in double-income families, it's hard to give attention to kids. But who the hell are you guys earning for? For the child, right? It doesn't have to be much. Just stop handing your goddamn phone to your child. I'm not joking when I say this. Children's Language areas and the areas in their brain for recognising concepts is STILL under development. Please STOP handing your phone to kids under 12. The damage will be irreversible otherwise. I'm not saying this to scare you. I'm just so sick and tired of seeing children suffer everyday as a result of inattentive parents.
My daughter was nonverbal Autism at 3, she had not yet had technology exposure other than TV, but not in great quantities. The first thing that was said at the team meeting with her OT, PT, behavior therapist and speech therapist was "do not give her a tablet or your phone. It will cause further delays."
She's 10 now, never had a tablet or phone. We actually got rid of all the tvs except for 1 and she and her brother get about 5 hours of television a week and we watch as a family.
She is also in the third grade doing Normal curriculum for her grade with a 1 on 1 tutor and she can express not just wants and needs, but her hopes, dreams, jokes, pretend play. I'm very glad we went with the advice given. Even when it was hard and we were tired.
@@earthstar7534 I'm glad her journey is going well. Wishing all the best you your daughter and your family. Bless.
As a teacher, I can say that there is an epidemic of absent/bad parenting. Parents try and pass the responsibility of raising their kids onto the school, the internet, Netflix, etc. My students are high schoolers and they tend to misbehave because that is what their parents have modeled for them as being acceptable.
I had a conversation about this recently with a friend. It really feels kind the burden of education has solely been placed on teachers when it really should be the parents job too. You live with them and raise them, you should be doing your best to help them in learning.
I teach a group of students (age 10 to 16) how to draw Comics every monday. Yesterday we were in an art gallery to look at the work of an acclaimed comic artist. I had to tell the younger ones not to run and play catch in the gallery several times. I don't know why I thought they knew how to behave in an exhibition.😐
Kids can't read and communicate anymore. They aren't being talked to at home. Their parents are just putting them in front of a device and walking away. It's horrible
Makes you wonder if it there way of calling for help but don't know how to.
@@nineinchthread I would say yes?
I do a comic course for five years now at a school and noticed that the most distracted and unruly ones are the ones with the most going on besides school. They usually have divorced parents, ADHD or get treaten badly at home.
Since it's an after school activity do I usually try to ease off and explain to them the basics but they can choose between reading comics or drawing their own stuff with pointers from me. But now I have one caught in the middle of his parents divorce and he is angry and restless and I fear he directs his anger inwards. Every time we meet up he has nothing at the end of my lesson, because he erases everything completely and starts over until he gives up completely. This is a first for me.
As a middle school teacher, I have came home crying due to the emotional loneliness my students feel in their own homes. Many do not have connections with their families and only form online connections with people they do not truly know. The amount of anxiety and depression they feel is more than most people realize. Many are leaving this career because "this new generation is so disrespectful," but do not realize they are not being taught social interactions at home. They are learning via social media, and when the channels they are watching are morally questionable, their actions also become questionable. These kids deserve better than what they are getting. A better home, a better community, and a better education system. Thank you for shedding light on this issue!
That can happen even without social media. My boomer mother consistently made me feel like she wasn’t interested in me and like I was a burden when I was growing up and I’m a millennial. This was before social media existed.
Their has to be a law that minors can’t consent to being put online to the public to protect them
unfortunately there isn't still in the majority of places, I know some do thankfully! I don't think much will be done since these channels make so much money- and platforms & companies will always choose money over safety.
All of this is still so new. I feel like laws are being made right now.
@@tsquare852 let's hope so
@@_salemtovar_my state of Illinois just passed one that will go into effect in July of 2024 next year
@@izzyc127Is this what Illinois has to worry about??? The crime among adolescents is crazy In Illinois( Chicago )and this is what they’re focused on👀👀🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️💁🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️???!!!! They can’t keep a decent grocery store in certain neighborhoods and we’re focusing on kids that have something constructive to do 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️💁🏽♀️💁🏽♀️???!! Stop it with the wrong usage of “exploitative” yes just like anything else some people go overboard but everyone else shouldn’t be put in the box!!!!!
As a grown woman, I appreciate more than ever that my Mom was the "I'm not your friend, I'm your MOTHER" type of parent.
Every child actor/singer/famous from birth : I hated it, it ruined my childhood, I now suffer from depression/addiction/no sense of identity.
Young people who grew up getting to know these stories : 'let's exploit our own kids, I'm sure they won't suffer cause I'm so incredibily stable ☺😋😛😜🤪😝🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑'
I've never thought of it that way before. Like I've always hated child actors and kids being o camera but I never thought how fucked up it must be to a young person's brain to pretend to be someone else
@@toffiet3347 yeah. It also depends on how those kids are treated behind the scenes. I think now last I checked a lot of film industry stuff has a regulation where kids who are playing well, a child in a show or movie are given breaks constantly and positive reinforcement. I believe therapy as well. I think they only film for an hour or two a day, often less. Some kids the younger they are, are only acting for about ten to twenty minutes even, because it can be strenuous on them. Especially if the directors and other employees are rude or constantly at each other's throats, or predatory, it affects the child's psyche. Which is where some of the later child actor cases came from. They experienced hell or were on set for too long without good positive reinforcement or self identity that they have identity issues.
"all kids want is to be loved, to feel like they are safe, to feel like someone is on their corner" - my inner child is screaming yes, and thank you
That first one where she thought it was funny that her child started praying due to the stress she was under is why so many of us have complicated relationships with faith and religion pretty plainly
THIS. RIGHT. HERE
For real. If my baby was praying to God to help her survive, it would break my heart. Not make me laugh.
THISSSS
“Children are so easy to love” you couldn’t have said this any better. Yet these people behave as if they were forced to have these kids
Literally saw one of those "van life" families who were bragging about selling everything and spending all their time travelling in a converted bus with four kids who all slept on tiny bunk beds. They didn't even care about all the social lessons those kids were missing and how that would affect them
It's heartbreaking
i like the idea of vanlife and i would do it if i could but i don't think it's an appropriate environment for children.
Yeah thats terrible. Children need stability
@@thecozyconstellationyeah it sounds like an interesting experience to have with a partner. But with kids??? Multiple kids?? No way!
What's crazy is, if they just did their "van life" thing for a summer or maybe even a year, their kids would probably have a blast traveling. But almost no one, especially not children, wants to travel 24/7.
@@cakes6537 Maybe not a year, but travelling for the summer or for a month is fine. Doing homeschool while traveling in a van/camper/rv sounds like a nightmare.
i have been saying this for years. there NEEDS to be a conversation around CPS. THEY SUCK. i was being abused by my mom, for years i have had open cases that were closed. over and over again case workers would come in, talk to me IN FRONT of my mom, then close the case. my house was unstable with black mold growing in the basement, i would tell them in private everything my mom was doing, and they would still close the case. it took her almost dying for me to get out after literally 5 years of open and shut cases. it’s ridiculous
People who haven't had any dealings with CPS have no idea what it's really like. They like the idea of a company coming in and fixing everything, then they can have a good laugh and talk about how great they are as parents.
CPS did nothing for me either like can we please think about redoing the damn system or at least screening the people who take these occupations to put more fucking effort and care and attention in
Honestly it's sickening to see parents doing this. Let your kids have a childhood!
Wait until you see the van families!!
When i was a nanny, i worked with kids 12hrs a day. Regardless of what the parents did i always had limited screen time for the kids, and the behavior difference is like night/day.
Then the parents are like “how come they’re only nice for you?” As if I’m not the only adult in the kids lives who doesn’t pacify them with an iPad. I give them lots of attention and talk to them all day, and i never film them or take photos. Thats why they’re good for me and bad with their parents.
Its the weird glee these people feel at their kids' suffering. Like giggling at "my kids are hungry and need to do their chores"
Can't get more evil than that fr
Psychopaths.
Narcissicists. They see their children as a means to an end
There’s a Latina woman who jus does nails on RUclips & happens to have a high pitch voice & RUclips keeps demonetizing her channel, shadowbanning her, deleting her followers, turning off her comments, anything & everything to keep her down the algorithm & nobody will answer her or give her a reason why. They say something about children & she thinks they are saying she’s a kid bc of her voice? But then it’s actual kids on here like this & …crickets
Also she’s @vanityval if y’all wanna check her out. She’s an absolute gem even if you aren’t into nail content
As a mom of two, I cannot fathom ever using either of my BABIES for content. It breaks my heart. Children need undivided attention and security.
But you're not a narcissist. "Narcissists don't see their children as innocent children, they see them as malignant, scheming adults." Every innocent mistake a child makes is to them a deliberate attempt to take control away from the parent, to hurt them, etc. Narcissists are abusive parents by nature.
@@cosmicmuffin322Um. 🧍
That’s weird and ableist.
I've got a baby and #2 on the way. I'm even careful with what I share of him to the people I share of him on my private socials when realistically at most a hundred people will see it. I cannot imagine MONETIZING my little one's every moment.
My account is seen only by my family and close friends. And I still won't post photo of my child.
Not because they are weird. But because I font like when someone has photo of me I dont know about on their phone. Why would I want it for my kid? When they are old enough and understand what photo is and how all of that works they can have their private account and then public one when they are older (you know wanna save them from the crips saving their NORMAL photos) So yeah...
(hope my english is understandable)
I don’t have children. But I have a baby niece. I’ve decided not to post pictures of her on social media, even though she is adorable, and I have been tempted to at times. because, first of all, you never know who was gonna see them even if you have a private account, someone could hack it. Second of all people don’t tend to think about how their kids are going to feel when they’re older and they realize that the whole world has seen their baby pictures.
To add onto the screen time talk, this isn't a new generation thing.
It's just more prevalent.
I grew up in the 2000s with a stay at home dad who didn't talk to me most days.
We just watched TV and played video games for hours on end. I feel like a lot of kids now are going through that same detachment that I felt at that age.
I don't talk to my dad anymore. I hardly remember my own childhood because every day was either yelling and screaming or the same shows played on loop.
I remember not having a clock so I told time by remembering what TV shows aired when.
I don't want these kids to go through that. It's like seeing myself. And it hurts. A lot.
i think one of the worst examples of admittedly exploiting their kid for content was that one family who spent months trying to adopt a kid, then cancelling it after they found out about laws that prevent them for posting the kid online for a few months. they quite literally put likes before love
Ah, nicki phillipi 🙄
A few months isn’t even a long time
That child was spared parents like them, though
They also m@rdered their family dog after they allowed their small child to mess with Bowser during meal time and he snapped at the him. No effort to intervene in the child's behavior, or to retrain or rehome poor Bowser. Did a whole professional family photo shoot before the husband took him out back. They are so effing sick.
@@bkk1996 didn’t even know about this these people need to have a psychological evaluation with their zero empathy
Yes like we get not everyone can accept and consider adopted kids as their OWN and will only consider bio kids with their DNA as real kids but they should not be adopting them in the 1st place 🤡🤡
As someone who’s Mother was constantly on her phone, YES it did damage my childhood. She made me feel like I was unloved and that Facebook was more important then me, she made me wonder if I was so much of a burden that her goddamn phone was more important then me. And it honestly sickens me to know that some grown-ass adults treat their kids like they are not humans, but as if these children are just tools to get views and likes.
Wow I'm sorry you had to deal with that ❤ I think we're going to start hearing a lot more stories like this as the generations who grew up on social media continue to hit adulthood and speak up.
I never wanted kids and still dont so i got to watch all my friends have children during the era you were born and it absolutely disturbed me how much i would see them shove a tablet in there face to get rid of them and watch the parent play video games or like you said waste away on Facebook. God forbid id ever mention how this is gonna lead to problems down the line and boom here we are. My generation had been a disappointment in almost every conceivable way. Its just sad so many decided to keep up the cycle of apathy with parenting.
that's basically how i felt when my mum chose alcohol over me. technology addiction needs to be taken more seriously because it's making parents neglect their children
As someone who wants kids and probably won’t be able to (I refuse to raise kids in poverty or be ill prepared) it absolutely breaks my heart to hear that. Please know you’re lovable no matter what and all good people deserve love and happiness especially as innocent children. I’m sorry you didn’t have that even though you absolutely were worth it.
@@sukilenz1901 omg i feel exactly the same 🥺🥺 i want kids but i've seen the impact of bringing kids into the world with minimum resources, a lot of my issues stem from this and i can't in good faith repeat that pattern. social mobility is so important.
I worked with kids in the early days of social media. Parents were mostly genx or boomers. The kids that acted out the most were the ones whose parents came in talking on their cell phone, and rushing their child through the door. The routine heartbreak I saw on this one girls face (who had severe behavior issues) when her parents came in like that was devastating. Even when they were on their phone, they came in with the same attitude. She was usually the last kid left so I tried to love on her and give her extra attention in those days.
Some parents shouldn't be parents. Social media has just made bigger monster out of behavior that already existed.
Edit: and that kid never acted especially "bad" for me. Turns out treating her like a person and not assuming the worst led to her trusting me and not feeling the need to act out. God I wish I have had some words with her parents, but I was 18
Very true. I notice that regardless of whether or not the child was a toddler, teenager, or anything in between, children who act up the most are the ones with the most neglectful or abusive parents. Honestly, I would've acted up more as a child too if I was raised by such self-absorbed parents. I don't feel bad for those parents one bit. I feel bad for the kids, because the "adults" who are supposed to give them love, discipline, guidance, and affection refuse to, and you know that if the child has a mental breakdown, the child will be mocked while everyone will feel bad for the parents because the kid "turned out weird". It's sickening.
If I hate when my family shows videos of me when I was younger to family friends, I can’t imagine millions on millions of people seeing my most vulnerable moments online and how that would affect my mental health growing up. It’s disgusting how the parents do this to their own children.
Hot take - I feel like anyone under the age of 18 shouldn’t even be allowed to use TikTok / Instagram / social media. I got social media when I was 11 and looking back, I would have been so much happier in middle and high school without it. And Instagram back in 2011 is so different from how it is now, I just feel like all the damage it’s done to me would be 100x worse to kids nowadays.
I ABSOLUTELY agree. Every single one of my friends who were on the internet as children were groomed and exploited by adults sexually or otherwise. Its such a deeply dangerous place for kids, and as someone who grew up without social media or the internet, it was significantly better for me. Kids don’t have the skills or understanding to navigate online spaces and critically consider or debunk the information they’re consuming.
Extending that; adults should never be allowed to post images of their children. I understand taking photos, it’s important to recall memories and savor moments of childhood, but posting those vulnerable, intimate photos should be banned.
I agree 100%!
I agree, but I don't know how we can ensure that no minors use social media. RUclips has an age limit, but there are still tons of kids under 13 with youtube accounts watching whatever they want, because kids lie about their age online all the time. I would love for social media to not be used by minors at all, but we need a way to make sure kids can't just lie about their age (not sure how though).
@@Sillymodezeenith One RUclipsr brought up a good point (Momma Uncharted) that even with normal and innocent photos of your children online, people can make deep fakes of your children these days or use it to stalk the children. Parents who post their children in exploitive and embarrassing situations are awful, but even innocent parents simply sharing a photo of their child at their school or outside their home can lead to something bad.
I feel like minors shouldn't have so much exposure to the point of being exploited on the internet. God knows where they'll end up eventually. Even adults sometimes would just let things happen rather than prevent it from happening.
Yeesssss. I'll always say, if even adults aren't safe on the internet- what makes you think kids will be any safer?
What you say at 25 min mark is exactly why I haven’t had kids yet, and I tell others “I’m not grown up enough to have them” even at 29 years old. So well said Salem!!
SHE COMES BACK WHEN WE NEED HER THE MOST!!
I'M BACK!!!
As someone who also works with children, you can definitely tell which kids receive more attention and love from their parents/ Gardians, then those who don’t. I feel like kids are very special very precious. Wonderful beings that deserve respect kindness and love. I think this goes for everybody but especially for children. They are new human beings. That are learning life for the first time, so I feel like it’s very important in the early years to set that loving foundation. It always breaks my heart when I when I hear that children are being treated terribly it always breaks my heart.🙁💔.
As a millennial, your message to millennial parents hits deeply. I’m not a parent yet, but I’ve been scared to be one because, frankly, I’m terrified to inadvertently give my future child trauma. But hearing how kids remember their time, connections, & the safe space created with their parents is so insightful & important, and I want to keep that in mind for the future. 🥰 people like you who spread awareness and work with children who need the connection and support truly bring more light into the world.
I'm not having kids for this reason. I'm too messed up. It wouldn't be fair or right.
There’s a lot of moms and parents “breaking the cycle” of trauma with their parenting. At least that’s the goal. The world can still traumatize them, and we won’t be perfect, but heck, life is beautiful and we’re making sure our kids have more secure bonds with their parents and a childhood better than we had.
@@rachelnesbitt8126and that shows massive maturity and self awareness. Paradoxically great traits for a parent. Im in the same boat as you
good for you and non existing child.
you are a great person.
you already love your "child" so much you dont bring them to misery to begin with
I wish so many parents cared about their kids as much as Salem cares about their kids.
It’s so funny how people tell women who don’t want to have children how “selfish” they are. I’m sorry, Brenda, but what’s selfish is having kids when you yourself haven’t done the inner work to be a stable, decent human being just to end up making your offspring your personal punching bag. What’s selfish is lacking the resources to properly take care of yourself, and bringing another person into the world just to struggle unnecessarily. Having kids is a HUGE responsibility. Those who actually bother to weigh the very serious implications of having a child, and decide they’re not equipped to do so (or simply do not want to) are the opposite of selfish.
YES YES YES
YES EXACTLY
Absolutely true.
Amen.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
No one seems to understand how dangerous this is. I moderate groups where people will fully dox their kids FULL NAMES and show photos just to tell something sweet about their kid, not realizing that a group full of 20K strangers can literally just go to their page and find out where they live. :/
For real wish you could call child protective services or MCFD on these parents who neglect their kid’s online use; sexual exploitation, unsafe friendship with adults, bullying, and so much more.
NOT to take the kids away; but to put PARENTS in MANDATORY classes on proper parenting in this internet age and family therapy!
I think I remember hearing that multiple people in the past had called cps on that eightpassengers family but nothing ever came of it until now. I feel like that happens way too often when cps really should step in.
Random fact: I have to call RCMP on a 11 year old now because she told a 16 year old to “KYS”, which is illegal here 🇨🇦. Of course I contacted the parents first; but nothing was done obviously as in what kind of involve parent(s) let a 11 year old contact a 16 year old online in the first place. So the law it is.
@@Pixel-Pop what?? she’s 11! we all said dumb stuff in elementary school and couldn’t fully comprehend the consequences of our actions or the gravity that words carry. there’s no reason for you to take legal action against a kid, especially as a completely tertiary party
Wren Elenors mom especially upsets me because she is at a stage in her "internet fame" where she is still very able to protect her daughter and take her offline and let her grow up normally She chooses not to. The money is just too good for her.
My mom is not a perfect person, but for everything I could point to and wish she hadn't done it, I could point to two things she experienced in her own life or saw someone else go through and said "That will NEVER happen to one of my kids--" and she made sure it didn't. Just be there for your kids. Treat them like humans.
Wow this comment just made me cry. My relationship with my mom has always been more good than bad, but I know that she was mistreated growing up. Seeing your comment made me really think about all the work she put in and the effort I know she must have made to make sure she didn’t pass her generational traumas on to me. ❤️
when youtube had the comment “situation” where “people” (cant call them people really) were putting time stamps on kids videos when they were in a form of comprise (swimming, ballet, playing, ect) in order to enjoy it - youtube should of stopped incentivizing kids channels at all costs not just removed time stamps for videos with kids under 12
My brother and SIL had their first kid a year or so ago. She mentioned to me how much she'd like to be a mommy vlogger and she doesn't understand why it's controversial. Luckily she doesnt have a creative bone in her body so i dont see it becoming a reality, but still. I didnt want to lecture her so i just said something like "i just think its messed up when a kid is the family's breadwinner" and left it at that. I feel for these kids
What does SIL mean?
@@punkrat5704 SIL= sister in law
This video hits me in a place close to my heart. I work with kids and my gosh it tears me apart how much these kids are ignored. The practice of shoving a screen into a kids hands when adults don’t want to deal with them is horrible. It’s done a number on the entire generation.
hope you guys enjoy me crying by the end of this video lol comment down below some video ideas you would like me to cover!
Hey Salem I’m looking forward to the video you mentioned before about your life story. Not sure if you’re still open to doing that video.
totally threw me off
the toxicity if relationship standards or smth
I'd be interested in your take on feminism/housework. I've been thinking a lot about the webcomic "You Should've Asked" and Eve Rodsky's book "Fair Play" - and trying to decide if I ever want to be in a romantic relationship again, given the way we raise men in our culture. I've been in relationships where I've done things like - clean mouse scat off a kitchen counter while my boyfriend watched (in his apartment) and regularly clean bathrooms, well before the man and I lived together. Not to mention the lack of general mental health awareness/personal grooming I've seen. Maybe I just pick a whole lot of lemons, but there seems to be a bigger issue with gender roles in the home; the woman tends to do all the housework - or be the one to initiate a change the paradigm - never her male counterpart. Obviously, this is particularly an issue in heterosexual relationships, as my overall impression of queer relationships is that they have to figure these things out explicitly rather than take them for granted.
Oh, and there's also a romance novel that deals a lot with these subjects: "Happily Ever Ninja" by Penny Reid. They do this massive spy caper and yet are arguing mainly about housework the whole time. Weirdly relatable and a good time. 🦆
This isn't what you regularly do, but I'd really like to hear you talk more about parents/parenting, entitlement and the effect it has on kids with the parents being completely oblivious to the damage they do since unfortunately this doesn't only occur with millennial parents. Maybe you'll find a way to tie it into a video or something idk. Stay safe ❤
Interestingly enough as a 90s kid my dad would make a bunch of home videos of us with those giant video cameras, the kinds that use tape.
And there’s a bunch of VHS videos of us learning how to ride bikes, losing our first tooth, learning how to crawl and etc.
I think family channels probably started with people trying to vlog childhood milestones to safekeep for later like 90s parents did. But ignoring the BIG GLARING DIFFERENCE that my home videos will never be online and are unprofitable for my parents to exploit.
While… not only are the family vloggers children’s personal moments online forever for strangers to see, they also won’t stop posting them because they make money from that.
In some videos on RUclips the children are even begging for the parents to stop filming them and it’s so sad.
I just think they should be demonetized straight away, if the children are involved in any way. Then parents loose incentive and just stop, because no profit.
@@NanaHeraUA absolutely children have a right to privacy and can say “no” to being filmed. Even if they say yes it’s still all so yucky they just shouldn’t be exposed to filming at all.
Yeah, the difference is in the 90s and early 2000 people would make Home videos and share them amongst friends and family. Unless you sent them into a television station (like America’s funniest, Home videos, for example) or something like that then they were not seen by strangers.
Much of Parent culture still see kids as an asset, emotional stuffie or a sometimes funny annoyance, it doesn't surprise me this happens but it sure has me left in furious tears every time.
The clip of the woman brushing off how her child prayed to God asking him to help her survive cut me pretty deeply. The way she callpusly brished off that her child was in pain and desperate for help reminded me of my own mother. We shouldn't be coddling kids, but at the same time the willingness to brush off real suffering because "theyre a kid, how bad could their life possibly be" or "i give them a home and shelter, there are people out there who are *really* suffering" or the classic narcissistic approach "I had it way worse and Im currently going through so much more than this child, therefore they dont deserve my sympathy." Its truly horrible.
It’s paradox that children can be the main source of income for family channels while simultaneously not reaching the age minimum for the given website. How can a child be monetized when it couldn’t create its own account if it wanted to? I wish that the safety of children wouldn’t be an afterthought for the websites, parents, and consumers :( Ultimately, child protection should be extended to the online sphere.
It's crazy that Gen Z is the last generation to grow up having parents taking pictures of them with cameras & being recorded with video recorders💀
"When you are in a position of giving your child everything in the world - and you choose trauma..." hit me 💔
When my first daughter was little people would push me to put her in modelling, acting or commercials. I have always been against anything that monetizes my relationship with my kid. Idk what makes people think literal child exploitation is ok..
Yknow what really shows the hypocrisy of these social media sites? Their TOS most often says something akin to "ages 13 and up users only." But they allow these children to be *in* content that exploits them on their platform...
Your speech at the end had me nearly crying too!!! “You could give your kid the world, but you chose trauma?” Ugh. As someone who grew up in an emotionally chaotic environment, it hit home with me. We need to expose more family channels fr!!! It makes me so sick
I 100% agree with you girl. You said exactly what is needed to be heard and I'm so glad you are talking about this because this "family channel" bullsh!t is horrible. Love you, Salem 💗🦆
Thank you so much! Family channels are stealing kids childhoods away and I hope that this video can at least educate some people out there on how it can become a slippery slope to trauma!
A teacher I know says she cannot tell which 7 year olds in her class have had a lot of screen time at home growing up - but she can always tell who didn't get a lot of parental attention.
As a parent of young kids, who’s had to cut toxic family off and do my own work to not pass on these patterns to my kids - thank you for making this video.
Talking for myself: In a phase where I wanted children on my own but couldnt get pregnant and loved watching cute little babies and kids but once I realized that its sooooo damn wrong I stopped supporting those channels. I wasnt mature enough and luckily once I realized all this a few months later I got blessed with my own little girl… who certainly wont be on social media till she can grasp the concept of it
“Til she can grasp the concept of it”? What the heck does that mean??
I’m so glad you were allowing yourself to be vulnerable at the end. At this point I feel like “parenting” or being a “parent” has been glorified to be some kind of title or achievement in our lives. A lot of people only value the idea of being a parent but not fully understanding the responsibilities they have to put in.
Tbh I was more hurt when my parents didn’t attend my first flute solo as a choir accompaniment in high school (something legitimately came up but I was still sad) than when I didn’t get something I asked for for Christmas or birthdays. Just be there for your kids
Idk if you've seen the "skibidi toilet" memes, apparently gen Alpha's first widely popular meme, but the adults in the meme have camera heads. It always makes me pause. I feel that filming children is traumatic to them to an extent that we don't even fully understand yet.
oooof. that hits hard. my parents love me, but they were so bad at listening to me and seeing me and being emotionally available. kids really do need emotional support more than anything
I'm ashamed to say I used to be a family channel watcher when I was younger and before I educated myself on the depths of the manipulation and exploitation that goes into family vlogging. From my perspective and looking back, I had a very unstable childhood and I think where a lot of the gratification came from with watching these channels was seeing that 'stable', 'healthy', 'perfect' family dynamic I felt I had been missing. Obviously I'm now aware these channels are anything but that but you can see how people get drawn into watching them
Same. I was in middle/high school w maybe 3 friends I couldn't just hang out w whenever bc if it wasn't my parents saying no it was my awful ex who would raise hell. It was just nice eye bleach from my life at the time.
As someone who used to watch family channels as a teenager, I can say that I personally watched them bc I lowkey almost lived vicariously through them. I didn’t have an abusive upbringing or anything but it was a bit unstable bc I was raised by a single mom. She did the best she could. But I guess I used to watch these family vlogs and kinda saw what ‘stable and full’ families looked like. I used to watch the shaytards and it’s judyslife. Obviously now as an adult I realize how exploitative it is.
My cousin works with children and studied child behaviour and psychology. She says that too many kids are given screen time from a young age, which we all know is bad, but we don’t know what it can lead to. It can cause improper social skills, aggression, and developmental issues. My cousin herself doesn’t let her toddler watch anything, only one kids show per week, no more than 10 min.
When Salem cries, you know she is serious. I totally agree with you. Love how big your heart is.
My dad and his wife adopted a 2 year old, and I've been very adamant at trying to inform them about stuff like elsagate that I had to live through, that they had no idea I'd even seen at the time. As a kid who watched my little pony, I remember opening a tab to search rainbow dash fanart at age 6 and finding brony porn. We watch shows with him, but we make it so we monitor what he's watching and are with him in the room. We also make sure we are watching more regulated platforms like Netflix or Disney, because even as much as I hate streaming services, it's safer than clicking a video on RUclips Kids and hoping it's not fetish material.
As a mom myself that last bit of the video made me cry. I worry so much about my children's future I get stuck in my own head trying to think ahead and I feel myself missing the present. Thank you for the reminder that sometimes getting back to basics: love and a place of safety is all they need. I really needed this today ❤
🦆 I've seen the parents of the younger generation in action - it's terrifying. I've had an anxiety attack over dinner as 2 kids watch 2 different videos at full volume on either side of me. Aside from being overstimulated I was mostly mortified for the state of THEIR brains. I hate that people think that's okay.
Thank you so much Salem, it gets me very emotional, to think and to know I already hurt my kids. I have enough excuses, but they are just to sooth my own guilt about my shortcomings. I'm a working single mom of 3, I'm stressed and addicted to my phone because of it. But this was the kick in the butt I needed to continue to better myself. It stops with me!
Samesies. Ms. Rachel has been so helpful teaching my little ones to speak but it's so hard to balance what's educational screen time vs. using screen time as a crutch. Parenting can be overwhelming sometimes and its hard not to beat ourselves up over it.
Thank you for saying what I couldn’t put into words myself! All of us parents must do better! It stops with us 🫶🏻
25:00 someone without children offering some of the best 'parenting advice' I've ever heard definitely wasn't on my 2023 bingo card , the irony. God bless you Salem. As a childless person who works with youth in the foster care system I 100% co- sign every word 💯
I will never understand why these people continue to put money and fame before their kids. If these people are in need of money that bad why not get a job instead or become an actor instead. YOU DON"T NEED TO USE YOUR KIDS FOR THAT!!! It's annoying. The exploitation of these children needs to end!
You should actually look at the 8 passengers case. Yep Ruby is a horrible mom but the real absolute psycho leading role goes to Jodi. It’s way more complicated than what it looks like. She has broken many families appart and her niece opened up and told people her aunt (Jodi) tied her up and put duck tape on her mouth just like the child who ran to his neighbour for help. Jodi is almost like a cult leader when you look it up. It’s absolutely mind blowing.
🦆 Great video! As a young mom, during my pregnancy, I always grappled with social media and putting my little one out into the world like that. Many years later, I'm happy I chose to keep those moments sacred and just for her. My entire world ❤
My mom was very much about trying to obtain the image of a good Christian family, but that was long before vlogging was a thing and it still effed me up just to know she cared so much about appearances. I can only imagine how much worse it would be if mothers like mine were incentivized to put our lives online and parade us around for money and views.
i hate my mom making tik toks abt me. even tho theyre not big, it rly is an invasion of my life. i rly dont want any part of my life on tiktok cuz i hate tiktok
Tell your school. Some teacher you like. They will help you with that. Its not ok if you dont agree
I grew up watching nearly exclusively family vlog channels, e.g. Shaytards, because my own family life wasn't too great and it was like an escape for me. It made me feel good, watching a happy family. It's not that I felt like I was part of them but I did get to vicariously live through them, if that makes sense.
I just discovered you and your content is amazing!! Can't believe how well-spoken you are and how thorough your content is thought out.
We need mandatory free parenting classes. So many parents want to do right by their kids but don't know where to look for helpful information, or there's a pay wall, or lack of time. People are spread so thin these days…
I’ve missed you! Lovely to see you back on screen. Exploiting children can be really abusive!!!
Unconditional love and quality time is all any child’s needs.
Parent selfishness V innocent children. I don’t believe that children should be on media since they have absolutely no choice.
Completely agree with you!! Well done!!
🦆 as a 28 year old parent of a 3 year old, thank you for your message. it made me realize certain things and youre absolutely correct. my daughter deserves better ❤
🐥🐥🐥 it's devastating hearing some of these channels being exposed especially 8 passengers. i already struggle a lot just because my mom happens to be a workaholic and was almost always at work, but i cant imagine how much worse it will be for these kids whose parents are RIGHT THERE but at the same time so attached to social media's perception of them. and when you cried i completely understood it. kids don't deserve that
Oh Salem, you're totally right. I firmly believe in the saying "Every child deserves a parent, not every parent deserves a child".
Loving the child you have brought into this world is more important than anything, so those who are not prepared to handle a life that may grow up to hold different beliefs or identifies differently from what you know should not have a child until they have healed themselves.
Parents who seek to milk money from the most embarrassing and personal moments of their children's lives are horrible.
We can spread hate and trauma but we can also spread love. Thank you for being so passionate about the rights of children, we need more people to call out family channels like this.
as a young gen-z I have gone through this, i was on the internet at a young age. and my parents barely existed for me. i now, as a teenager constantly need validation for my feelings. time and time again, because i was never heard, and because i was never seen. it is so infuriating to live like this, and at such a young age aswell. i cannot imagine the amount of trauma gen alpha is going to have, because not only are they scrutinized for stuff as silly as the damn 'Skibidi Toilet' like just let them live goddamn. anyway, thank you for coming to my ted talk.
I'm really sorry you had to go through that.
I’m really glad that my parents didn’t do anything like this and only put images of me in the internet that I wanted on there, only on private accounts of course.
The only reason I can see something being posted about someone’s kids on the internet is if it’s a private account and the only followers are family.
Millennial homeschooling mom of 3 here. This video is so full of truth. But there is a wave of gentle, attached parents our here. The circle that my family is in has so many gentle parents that it takes me by surprise when I see such blatant and conspicuous disrespect toward children.
I've personally never seen any family channels but I recall a cousin of mine sharing a video on Facebook years ago of her daughter having a tantrum and the caption was something like "this is what I'm putting up with today" and I was so disgusted.
Get off the phones. Talk to your kids. Play with your kids. Love them for them.
And read some parenting books.
A small list for starters:
The Joyful Child by Susan Mayclin Stephenson
Good Inside by Becky Kennedy
How to Talk so Kids will Listen by Faber and Mazlish
for the french-speaking/french-reading people, there is a great France-TV documentary called "Enfants sous influence", in which a girl who was exploited like this by her mother talks about the life after this trauma. She's also part of an association trying to protect the children
I think this is my favorite video of yours so far. Your criticism for this topic is on point and even the added commentary on how not everyone should have kids and highlighting the fact that you should only have kids when you're mentally ready to not give your own kids trauma is just *chef kiss*
So ready to watch this. I hate parent influencers
🦆 I got emotional at the end too when you started talking about generational trauma and parents neglecting their kids for their phones since I have parents like that. They care more about their reputation than actually having a relationship with their kids unless conditions are met.
I feel your tears. I've cried so many times when I see people have a genuine and loving bond with their parents bc it's so foreign to me. I have become so horribly traumatized from the emotional neglect. I could never in a million years understand how people can go through that and then put their children through the same. 💔
Because they think it's normal. Even the ones who swear up and down that they'll "be nothing like their parents" often don't have the self-awareness to realize that they have a lot of similarities with how they parent their kids versus how they were raised.
I keep seeing all these ppl from my childhood getting pregnant straight out of highschool and it worries me so much bc although I don't know the person they are now. I knew the person they were back then and all the trauma that led to bad decisions in their youth. It worries me so much that they'll unintentionally teach their own trauma to their kids if they continue to refuse to seek help and actually put the work in to heal themselves. Not to mention so many of them have created a image in their head that they are wiser and more mature now just bc they had a kid and have those responsibilities, but that factor alone doesn't make you any more mature or wiser than b4 having the kid.
This goes for anyone who wants children or already has children but you can't be the best parent for your child if you're not being the best version of yourself, this includes healing your inner child and addressing traumas from the past as to not repeat past unhelpful coping mechanisms that could affect your childs development/ behaviour. All it takes is one small mistake for a lifetime of trauma for your child.
I'm glad I could make it.
As someone who has had to watch my younger siblings get neglected because my parents care more about their phones and shoving one in front of their kids faces, this hits home. I hate going over to their house only because I can see how little attention they're getting. It hurts not being able to give them everything they need in the short few hours I'm over there. They don't know how to interact with people. If they don't get exactly what they want (which they usually don't even know what it is) they throw an all out tantrum or run away and hide instead of communicating their feelings and desires. It makes me sick knowing I need to help them heal later on in life even more than I've had to heal.
Used to love the Saccone-Jolys as a kid. Watched them daily. The more I watched the more uncomfortable I got around how differently they treated their daughter vs their son they had at the time. Just makes me feel ill now
“Dear Heavenly Father, please help me to survive”
That’s NOT CUTE. That would break my heart if I was a parent. I’d be questioning myself so bad and feel so much guilt.
Like what did I DO or somebody else DO for my baby to even SAY THAT? Broke my heart, I can’t imagine actually hearing it
The crying rant really is it. My child just turned 2, and all I wish is for them is to feel everything you’ve said. Thank you for this video.
watchin this till the end broke me on how corrupt the world is, Salem is freaking incredible
Keep this energy for disabled children as well! 👏👏👏
Why wouldn’t she?
I really liked this video. I agree with you on it 100%! Especially that last part. My mom will always say “my parents did this my parents did that” I’m like so? Are you your parents? Why not be different be better? “My parents used to hit me so it’s okay” “my parents used to put me into the middle of their argument’s so what you go thru is okay” like no! If you didn’t like it why would to repeat the cycle? It’s already ended with me since I’m nearly 29 and I don’t have kids. My mom had 5 kids by my age
Hearing you yourself get emotional and break down while talking so eloquently despite it all was so, so powerful. It’s really clear how strong and sure you feel in your view here, and I hope you reach many people with this! Thank you for talking about such a hard and complicated topic, you’re a good egg!