When you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist for several years, the mask slips so many times, and unfortunately it isn’t until we are out of the relationship, and our minds slowly clear, we can see how much toxic behaviour we tolerated 😢
100% facts. I do feel sorry for the ex, though, because of how messed up they are. They never really get to enjoy life itself or feel real joy, peace, and happiness. I do pray that she finally gets the help she needs. I still love her and I guess that I always will but from a distance. We are commanded by God to love our enemies and to forgive them, too, and that in and of itself makes me feel more like the real me who got lost through it all and it feels good to be me again, for the most part anyway. I still have some work to do on myself. 😊 I made plans to go fishing with a few friends once I get a few things straightened out and I can't wait. I still credit God for this because He gave me the strength and the avenue in which I needed to go for answers. 🙏🤗 Another thing is that you see how bad narcissism is throughout society and other places. Just changes your views on a lot of things.
Never,accept a Hoover,,these people are Deceitful at every turn,,break that trauma bond,do the grieving,and let go,,it's the only thing to do keep healing and keep at it,,We are the Champions🎶🎶🎶♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🙏🏻🙏🏻
They fear us to see how disgusting they really are and how not worth any love. There is a deep hate of themself deep in them IMO. That is what they projected on others. It is torture of innocent kind human beings and it is unforgivable, no matter what there childhood was like.
The biggest mistake I made was moving in with my ex-narc. That's when his mask started slipping. He started coming home late or he was going out of town on weekends. In his eyesight, I wasn't keeping the house cleaned enough for him. I was literally walking on eggshells around him. I wasn't sleeping at nights. Oh God, I could not rest around this Man. I had to MOVE OUT or I was going to lose my mind. This Man has done some LOW DOWN DIRTY STUFF TO ME. Hurting me mentally, spiritually, physically, financially.
Another great revelation, Andrew 👍🙏💪 Once you've seen how ugly and empty AND BITTER they are behind the mask they know , and that's the moment the love stops and THE WAR begins. They always PRESUME everything is a competition , and they misjudge you simply as another threat that must be taken down . Once they know YOU KNOW it will NEVER be the same again !! 🙏❤️❤️
To educate those of you in a narcissist romantic relationship, a hoover happens every time you get into a heated argument. They'll silent treatment you for 2 days to a week, call you all types of vile names, stonewall you, etc. Then one day, they'll act like nothing happened, they're sorry, they love you and they're going to change, etc. If you go back each of these times it will repeat twice a week. This video is 100% accurate.
I feel that this person has turned me into somebody that I don't recognize. I wasn't always this weak or scared all the time. I feel absolutely drained & careless about things that used to matter to me. You're words definitely help me 💙
I went through the same thing, I thought I lost myself forever. I am sending you prayers for strength and clarity and a virtual hug . You are stronger than you think. You are here! Andrew and this community are the best . I hope you keep watching ❤
It's the same for many of us. We were happy, interesting, fun people before.😢 I have no idea what happened to me, it's like my entire identity has been erased
I understand how you feel. I literally didn't recognise myself in the mirror after only 2 years with a Malignant Narcissist. I'm praying for you that you find a way to get out and go no contact. I promise you will find yourself again. Please love yourself and put your wellbeing first, you can be happy again ❤️🕯️🙏🏻
Life with the narcissist is exactly what you are describing... Right is left, up is down, black is white, etc. It's a horrible existence, to say the least. I'm glad I'm out of it. Andrew is right. Time is one of the biggest losses that you can't get back. And when the water flows under the bridge, you can't stop it... it keeps flowing until it reaches the ocean and is gone forever. Don't wait until you are my age to begin healing... I didn't have these resources 17 + years ago. I wish I had. My life would be very different had I known sooner.
34 years but I wrote a list of all the wonderful things I did or achieved (narcissist not included) and realized life wasn't a waste, just the moments with the narcissist 💖
Married for 2 years, together for 11, and after we got married, he treated me terrible ,never nice on anniversary ruined everything, if I made him my god he would've been truly happy , well I woke up and left him and then took him back, just to have him get even and leave me a year later, I truly know who he is now!!
Once you see behind the masks of the narcissists around you, you are bewildered that people who have been around them for years and decades, either can't see it, or don't mind being supply. Mind-blowing!
Valid point about breadcrumbs. In a culture of "don't judge," I'm working daily to discern wolves in sheeps' clothing. Not understanding someone's true character can cost your life. It cost 15 years of mine. "Are you unworthy to judge the smallest matters?" I Cor. 6:2@@jeannieotb8491
Get out at the first raging, silent treatment, discard...It is true what Andrew is saying! I allowed myself to be hoovered back a dozen times or in the beginning begged to come back myself. Greater losses each time. I am over 60 now, have a chance to heal and life is beginning to get better, He found a way to hurt me when I made. the mistake of replying to what seemed like a sincere note regarding a news event in the city I live in now. Give it up now! You do not possess enough love to change them. Your forgiveness each time is making them worse! God help the woman he gets ahold of next.
I would drive out to the Wildlife Refuge and take my dinner out there . I dreaded going home. I cried every morning when I left home to go to work because I was exhausted from the being on eggshells and little sleep. I kept a journal in my car . I wrote what he said because he kept telling me " I never said that ". Or Your crazy , one that I heard A Lot .. Andrew's videos continue to keep me on track .
❤Isn't that something, I'd recently mentioned they deflect all cuz they can't keep track of all their lies hence keep going for broke... They're messed up, found out, really have to get on with acting pretending all is ok and normal, it's not, they've a certain pattern projected way of doing things, we're just a category in their lives, like paying the electricity bill keeps the light on, having done whatever in the past should in no way increment them as they'd never see anything wrong with anything they've done, totally stunned that we should 😮 and the gaul to bring it up hence we're the problem/earning the blame/it's never them, it's like lending your friend a toy which comes back broken, well of course that never happened while they were playing with it, yet there it is, broken and it's your fault for throwing a wrench 🔧 in their oblivion that anything could have gone otherwise than returned perfect, even though mistakes do happen but not on their shift!
Yes he told the outside world that I am the crazy one!!! It’s heartbreaking!!! This kind of cold heart people are the realy crazy one… trying to make you look like crazy!
In one of his rage fits, when we were wrestling on the floor, the mask slipped, I saw the ugliness, the hatred, the rage and he said to me "I can't believe I got this far!" Narcissists know exactly what they are doing and who they are it seems.
Oh yes they know who they are!!! Little kids trapped in adult bodies, not able to grow up cause not willing to reflect what they do to be. Just willing to live in impulses of me me me , take take take.. I don’t care who feeds me next!
💯 they know and knew the whole time. That is brutally terrifying when you realise it. When the Nex's mask fell off I literally felt like I was staring at the devil.
@@JH-td4mnthe day I saw the devil in my husbands eyes, 2008 in a rage. By the grace of God, he asked me for a divorce and in a short time with counseling, I was told I was married to a narc. I found a good podcast on topic, but finding Andrew 3 months or more ago, he had been a part of my life almost daily. To read your comments, gave me chills on my own reality but I am doing so much better - faith/family/church/ inner strength.
🥵🖤 yep i was thrown away like a peice of paper on the highway i did feel that bruised and broken. Left with no confidence a broken heart soul spirit . I was a mess id given all i had and felt like a empty shell with nothing ele to give . Was a dark muddy cold lonely crawl up but i did it hallelujah. 😊🎉 Now my heart is full of love for myself. I can do what ever i want to do i can have the smooth peanut butter i craved along with ever other thing i want.... buy myself beautifully flowers in more ways then one ...Thankyou god for that discusting lesson . Love and peace 🎉❤
Speaking of a hoover. After 8 months I recently got a text from him. He started as to how loyal, loving and wonderful he was to me. Then started on how bad I was and disrespectful during the length of our relationship. And on and on about negativity towards me. He then mentioned that he has a brain tumor and has limited time to live. Sent two more messages and of course all directed towards me. I blocked him. I felt like shit for a week. Thinking about what he said to me.. He was probably looking for sympathy on his so called illness. I really doubt he is sick. Either way I am so done and happy to be moving forward.
She had to know every move that I made. I couldn't be late getting home from work or else I "was up to no good". If I knew that I was going to be late I had to call her. I was on a leash and I believe if she could have gotten away with it I would have been wearing a shock collar. 😅🧐 Every note is in my head. I had no right to privacy at all. Support was out of the question, too. "You don't ever talk to anyone about me!" I never talked about her, I was trying to figure out what the heck was going on and why it was all so confusing. I see it all now, though, and the confusion is gone, the darkness is gone, and I'm getting back to me. 🙏 Thank you, Andrew, and God bless you! 🙏
The phone was my electric fence.⚡️ These creatures are evil personified. They report to the father of lies. The number of narc globally is horrific. Thank you for another wonderful truth sharing video, exposing the methods, schemes and road to recovery from narcs. Ask God to get you through this and He will. ✝️🙏🏻🕊️🌿✨☀️✨🦋🌳🌎❤️
Wanting someone to say when and why they're late doesn't have to be a bad thing. I found it annoying when he (narc) was always late home after we had the baby, why didn't he want to come home and take care of new family? Well, he was a pathological liar narcissist is why...
@@jenhari3432 No, I had no problem with letting her know but she knew that every day on the job was different for me and sometimes was asked or required to work a little longer than my regular shift and sometimes I just didn't have time to call her. I worked in a shipping/receiving department of a fiberglass manufacturer and we handled customer orders and a lot of other things. Trying to explain that to someone who doesn't listen or doesn't care about anything other than what they are thinking because I didn't call and faced angry accusations of infidelity or whatever she felt like accusing me of doing. It was usually when it was just a few extra twenty minutes or so when I didn't call because I was too busy. Oh you better believe that she looked at each and every paystub, too. 🧐 I mean everything proved that I wasn't lying every time when it came to working overtime not that I ever lied to her but that didn't matter. If it weren't so sad I'd laugh. What was worse was work was the only place I felt like I could be me and she didn't like it that I enjoyed my job either. Everything got to the point where she was all that I cared/thought about and I couldn't enjoy anything without thinking that I'll be given the third degree as soon as I got home. Sorry for ranting on. I just remembered all of the threats, put downs, berating and belittling that it caused for working an extra few minutes at work that only benefited us. I'm thinking it didn't happen every single time but she really confused me. 😑
Learned that mine was after everything I had single mother 2 jobs and a rental , I paid dearly but now I know the truth starting over wasn’t easy but doable .
I like your closing points and reminders, Andrew: "This is YOUR path ..." For the ones that have been getting the message and education, you know by now, no one will understand a whiff, unless they've been through it. Anyone that casts self-doubt upon you ( Narc, Flying Monkey, well meaning friend, family member, etc. ), i.e., "Maybe it's you, maybe they didn't mean it, maybe things will get better, yada , yada ...?" Let them do them and You do You!
Great for bringing this up Joe! It was because of ignorant council through my church that I stayed with the narc. Can't reverse the past..but hope those here who have ears to hear...really listen to what Joe is saying. Time is precious & so are you. Be careful & wise who you share or council with! 🌈 🎀😘
@@marieeakin8534 Thanks, Marie. For myself, it was a bad habit to explain things too much or anything at all to the wrong people . One assumes by position of authority, they know better. I can't ignore wise advice on all various matters, but on this Narcissism Topic, it was a great lesson-- most have zero idea. You Have a Pleasant Evening!👍
@jhavajoe3792 Yes, when it comes to narcissism.. most people do not have a clue & it could make things a lot worse. It did for me & I want to help prevent that happening to anyone else. If I wouldn't have passed this forward...it would have been all for not. I understand what your saying Joe. I've learned a lot & honed that in myself. ☕ Cheers friend 🌈 🎀😘
💯, we have to trust our instincts. Even some therapists can make us doubt the severity of what we've experienced, because if it's never happened to you, how could you really understand? That's why I think more survivors should train to be counsellors. Our knowledge is invaluable and we could maybe help others if we feel that's right for us, just like Andrew does!
Thank You Andrew 🙏❤the narc will not change, they cannot change! They are the energy vampires, the kill joys. I’m not sure if they really care about themselves. But, that is not my problem. My main focus right now is healing and being good to myself. Stay strong my Brothers and Sister. Namaste 🙏
Hey Ruby! Thought I’d check up on the comments section here! It’s stormy outside as a cold front just came through, and I’m gonna cozy up with my electric blanket (10 hr auto shut off) and fall asleep watching RUclips 🥰☺️🥰☺️🥰 How are YOU doing today?! ❤❤❤❤❤
@@jennifernewton4637 My dear Jennifer 🤗😃. Exactly what the weather is like in Texas is what it's like here today. The cold front arrived ❄️after unusually warm weather and it is terribly cold 🌬️👢🧤🧣. Snow has also fallen in the hills🏔️. There are also smaller earthquakes. Basically, a very unusual weather 😳
@@rubyjet9513Hey Ruby! Sorry I didn’t see this sooner, I didn’t get a notification 😔 Here in Houston it’s completely flat, geographically speaking, and we’re not THAT far inland from the Gulf of Mexico, so snow is quite a rarity. It just gets BONE CHILLINGLY cold… sometimes 🥶😛😄❤❤❤
Mime is dragging out the divorce LOL but i hired new lawyers today and a Forensic accounting team BC we all know how much they LOVE TO HIDE MONEY!!!! 😂😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉
OMG !!!just starting divorce after 28 yrs.of abuse. He WILL try n screw me financially , which is part of why I stayed, and not wanting to go thru atty crap. Wanted me to hide 30k when I first met him from then wife while they were ending his 3rd marriage....GIANT red flag too bad I ignored that and many other red flags. tu for your post
@Conradjowarrior I was in it for 36 years so I soooooo completely understand you!!! Yes my ex is a financial criminal and when they are like this you have to have a forensic accounting team!!!! I can not stress this enough. I have been putting it off BC its expensive but i have to do it. He won't move forward with the divorce so I have a new law team and now the financial team. They will be witteness in the trial BC i plan to take this to trial. It's exhausting mentally, financially, emotionally and physically 😪
@Conradjowarrior I really feel for you my ex was the same please feel free to vent to me. NAMASTE 🙏 i feel like putting his name out here so everyone can google him so they understand what im dealing with. My heart breaks for you.
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone excellent video andrew. really like the way you describe things, such as "rabbit hole of education" or "you are writing things down that the narcissist wants you to forget about." keep putting the idiot narcissists on blast, one video at a time!
My ex constantly pushed his luck, he pushed my patience and tolerance way beyond it's limit especially when he thought I was in a vulnerable position whereby I had no choice but to accept his way, always forcing his will onto me even though he knew I was very unhappy with his decisions, when any of his plans fell apart, he walked away like it was up to someone else to fix his mess ups
I love your videos and the comments. When my exNarc showed, it was like movies with black contact lenses)demonic eyes/soulless. Scariest thing i ever saw.
Today, I know a number of very concerning "secrets" that were hidden from me by the ex narc. Couldn't speak about anything that had to do with intimacy or spirituality with him as I now know he has no soul or ability to love. Looking back, I am sure there are "more" secrets that he will take to his grave. What I saw at the end when the discard was nothing but evil. I am grateful I was not destroyed by the narc and I survived and I am thriving! Thank God, for the strength of my faith and resilience and courage to not give up on myself. Blessings to all! ❤
I believe that most Narcissists hold some very dark secrets about what they've done in their lives. Many bordering on criminal. A person who lies pathologically and has no conscience is very dangerous.
After getting involved with the last narcissist i can say its taught me to actually value myself more and not believe someone who showed all the signs and i did not listen but liked to listen to the nice things he said. I have been isolating a lot and i feel i need to. Thanks for your wisdom. I have attracted narcissists because i didnt have boundaries. I actually put boundaries with this last ' friendship' and he stepped all over them i wish i had walked away as soon as i smelled a rat but i can only learn from it
My narc said when I asked about her vision for our future, her hopes and dreams for us she said “I don’t do that.” I was looking for a LT relationship and she said looking for a “companion.” WOW! I was stunrd as the love bombing was amazing and I was hooked.?seven years poor health, mental state. Etc. final discard Dec 23 . I feel terrible.
Towards the end she would look in my eyes when we would cuddle after a good day and tell me she loved me. By then i had seen it and was completely depleted and when i looked in those eyes there was nothing behind them. Empty. They didnt even know what that meant, well they did. An entire different meaning than i have for it
There was a time towards the end when I was bringing up things they had done and said that nobody else knows how manipulative they are, and they responded with this stumped silence which pretty much said, "you're right."
You will see this a lot with social media as many narcissists will befriend and exploit those who have a lot of followers for clout than to build an actual friendship.
Against my better judgment I broke no contact with my nex (text), and she was mask free, cold and nasty and entitled. She ticks virtually every narcissist box. At least my trauma bond got decimated! On sight alone, I found her very attractive. With her mask, she’s extremely charming. Without her mask, or seeing past her mask, she’s female emperor Palpatine.
Yes I agree Andrew.... a Devine Hand wanted me to gain the wisdom! I see the many narcs that have come along side & hurt my life.The pattern would have repeated had I not listened & emerged myself in my work needed to change to help identify & protect myself from such entities. Moving Forward 🌈 🎀😘
2 months into a Narcissist relationship she had 2 rage fits,1st I was so confused,After the 2nd one I was gone now the smear campaign…so what thankfully I have good friends…. I thought her head was going to spin around….
My ex-narc husband, re-married. His younger wife recently died. He had 5 life insurance policies on her, and buried her next to my parents, in my town, where she never lived. You can’t make this stuff up.
Glad I recognized her as a covert narcissist and called her out as such. It’s been one year since she left and I’ve never been happier in my life! She went on to a new supply who she never would have known if it wasn’t for me. The new supply is unaware of who she is and I intend to remain no contact. Like you said Andrew, everyone will know eventually and when her current supply is over, I’ll reach out to him and be his support system, I’m sure I know things about her that he doesn’t and never will, incarceration and institutionalized, yeah it was a doozy of a narc!
Amazing video!! I wrote notes to remember his poor behavior, looked up how to respond to his offensive comments, the vindictive things he did omg. I had cancer surgery last year and I came home from the hospital and fell asleep on the bed watching TV. The next thing I know he was pinching my nose shut. 😳 I honestly can't believe the things he was doing. What was he doing so no healing for me only with my eyes open until now that I've been out of it. I am letting my nervous system quiet down and heal. Thanks to your videos helping me😊❤️
Glad you are here, and Andrew is a great source of information & wisdom to get healing from narcissistic abuse. Much peace and power in your healing journey. 🙏
5:20 i do not mean to pick on people with allergies/intolerances, but every person i was close to who was a narcissist had diet requirements they used to control others, and the most common one was: self-diagnosed gluten intolerance. the other stuff also rings true. the one relationship i had was great until right after I signed a lease, then they pressured me to pay to move us to an even better place promising one of the 9 rooms would be for me and my friends. then the second we moved in the plan changed: the room promised to me was only for her family to come visit and a second bedroom for her to take naps.
You cant unsee what you’ve seen under the mask.. and when you see it it’s hard to even remember how things were before.. this was a helpful video.. I especially resonated when you said “i had a lot going on for me and could have done so much with my life”.. I apologise I’m not sure if those were your exact words.. but it was along those lines.. I feel that right now.. that I could have done so much.. but I’m just a shell of myself now.. at least I know the truth.. thank you.
Hi Laila. Just to let you know that I have replied twice to you on other channel and my comments have disappeared. Don't know what to do now! Can you let me know if you get this one.❤❤❤❤
Im pretty certain the "boy" ive been married to for 12 years, enjoyed how he blindsided me at his discard, he had a level of arrogance i didn't see in 12 years. ( i believe he had already started mirroring his new supplies energy) & let me tell ya, it wasn't pretty 😈 He had a smirk as he threw me away, his pupils were dark and his voice changed 😈 He found pleasure in hurting me
Andrew you are absolutely right on My deal started 10 years ago with afew of them. This video explains everything Yes I kept a journal after this but now I can go back years before that and have the answers to so many questions WoW I'm so thankful for you. I have been out of this toxicity for awhile now but these feelings of that still lingers on. It's like I still can't believe this happened.
When I was in highschool I can remember learning quickly that if the house was clean and tidy when my dad cane home from work, the percentage that I would catch his after work rage went significantly down. A clean kitchen and house made hime happy.
Thank you for your pep talk everyday. I need it to stay focused and on the right path on the way out of this crazy land I’ve been living in for decades. 💪❤️✌️
When you use the term ZOOMBIE LIKE STATE ! My body and mind react with anger! ☠️I’m a year out of my NARC relationship and certain things you say trigger me but now I’m stronger and say thank god I found you and for teaching me IM NOT NUTS ! It’s so helpful knowing others are out there. 💪👍
I am so glad I found your channel a few months ago to help me make sense of the past 25 years of my marriage. You have given me so much knowledge on this topic. I can look back on countless times of his abuse and the fog I always questioned his behavior. This is all so SICK!!! Him wanting a divorce was the best for me. This abuse would have continued if he had not wanted a divorce and I would have continued a miserable. After January my divorce should be final. I have been working on myself for months and am onto a much better life. Thank you Andrew. God Bless You and continue doing what you are doing for this group!
Hoover makes things worse,they can convince everybody how great they are ,how they are right and they forgive all mistakes that was my fault ,never them,they pray God but serve something else.
You are so right, Andrew . He settled for a new supply, he was the very sick aging narcissist, she became his caregiver, servant, taxi driver and a mommy.
Oh Andrew . You our so right. I don’t know how , why, what ? it’s my fault. I’m the one that goes back and I’m the problem. Now can I want their love so much. . ❤
Thank u this week I've learnt so much from u , I'm now 7 days no contact putting into practice everything. My mom is a narcissist, all u say resonates ❤ an incident happened last week, it crossed my line, I got to my limit, then searched narcissists on RUclips found ur channel. I'm now healing making plans for long term no contact I'm just doing my research right now so I'm giving myself space , blocked her , I need a breather I'm exhausted. 😢
Call it a spiritual awakening or an apifany. I realized I Was giving too much to others. I could not unsee their slipped mask. I started giving to me. I started taking nature walks, walks in the rain, starring at the beautiful stars in the sky, going outside just to hear the birds sing, creating/ witing new songs. Practicing self Love He treated me like an object and was jealous of my happy moments Walking away was the best decision I ever made ❤❤ Have a great night Andrew.
Andrew, i think we were married to the same person! This blows my mind. This is word for word what happened to me. He had me convinced that i was the dysfunctional one. There were red flags, but i denied that the person that supposedly "loved me" could do such wicked things to me. Im still in the fog and trying to heal, but it is so painful, especially knowing the deviousness is on purpose. How? How is that possible? They have no conscience. I could never tear someone apart piece by piece like that. I feel like ive aged 20 years in the past three years. Its been hell. Thank you for your encouraging videos and support. This is my favorite video so far. I will be listening to this video over and over
I didnt even know what the word narcissist meant,niether had I come across such a person! Looking back I can see/understand so much more,I dont need to write anything down as I remember it all,,,day by day I remember anothor "saga" all is explained,thanks again Andrew.
Best thing I did for myself during the relationship was to keep a list of incidents. After a while, the ups and downs became so predictable. Things also got progressively worse and ugly. Boundaries I tried to set were countered with ridiculous consequences.
😇GVB ❤ ...checking the boxes... I wondered why my dad and mother didn't tell me. Perhaps mother didn't know about it. We're pretty isolated from this level of LOW.😢 🎉Even if she did know, how do you tell. Your only child...Your daughter .❤ I would probably have thought she was insane. 😮 There was NO internet to connect those suffering from this garbage. ❤ LORD help us.
You are so right Andrew. If you have to keep notes about your relationship, something isnt right. I wish i knew that before. I kept notes of his bad behavior on my phone. I didnt want his good acts to cover up the outrageous this he did ans said about me in public to humiliate me. His jokes were insults. I needed to document the truth so i wouldnt become delusional like him. Now hes hoovering like a gale force wind. Hes trying to gaslight like hes getting paid to do it. I cant avoid him because we work together. Hes now changed his shift and is working the same one as me. Send good vibrations my way please !!!
Narcissists ego is so fragile and so needy that if you do accept a Hoover after breaking away for a time- you’ll be punished ten fold for rejecting them. They’ll have to prove to themselves that they’re still powerful and they do that by crushing your spirit humiliating you.
Nej tak Andrew jeg går ikke tilbage og støvsuge mig ind igen ikke her det kan de for andre til ,jeg vil hellere fokusere på mig selv. God dag Andrew 🙂👍
Is it usial that the N can come and go time after time?? He goes away from his family from all responsibilities!!! Try to break our life and punish us e et time we said “ hey stop” he say I m I’ll … need a break ? From what from his family changing position and leave us in insecurity Without any kind of support Is this a normal behavior for the N ???
I walked around in a fog and did not know why It was 2 years of pure hell. He checked every box you spoke of. My car's credit bank account jewelry was all gone. But I was so glad to Jess have me He still calls once a twice a year Love you, I miss you accountability. Elk
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When you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist for several years, the mask slips so many times, and unfortunately it isn’t until we are out of the relationship, and our minds slowly clear, we can see how much toxic behaviour we tolerated 😢
This is soooo true!!!! I can see so much more clearly now ❤
Nailed this one and then you realize just how raggedy and lacking these individuals are including the toxic family that enabled the behavior
@@marieturn2878 YES!!! LOL
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100% facts. I do feel sorry for the ex, though, because of how messed up they are. They never really get to enjoy life itself or feel real joy, peace, and happiness. I do pray that she finally gets the help she needs. I still love her and I guess that I always will but from a distance. We are commanded by God to love our enemies and to forgive them, too, and that in and of itself makes me feel more like the real me who got lost through it all and it feels good to be me again, for the most part anyway. I still have some work to do on myself. 😊 I made plans to go fishing with a few friends once I get a few things straightened out and I can't wait. I still credit God for this because He gave me the strength and the avenue in which I needed to go for answers. 🙏🤗 Another thing is that you see how bad narcissism is throughout society and other places. Just changes your views on a lot of things.
Never,accept a Hoover,,these people are Deceitful at every turn,,break that trauma bond,do the grieving,and let go,,it's the only thing to do keep healing and keep at it,,We are the Champions🎶🎶🎶♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🙏🏻🙏🏻
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Way to go!!! 👍👍👍
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They fear us to see how disgusting they really are and how not worth any love. There is a deep hate of themself deep in them IMO. That is what they projected on others. It is torture of innocent kind human beings and it is unforgivable, no matter what there childhood was like.
So true
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Yes I agree, self loathing, but also think they're God, a walking contradiction.
The biggest mistake I made was moving in with my ex-narc. That's when his mask started slipping. He started coming home late or he was going out of town on weekends. In his eyesight, I wasn't keeping the house cleaned enough for him. I was literally walking on eggshells around him. I wasn't sleeping at nights. Oh God, I could not rest around this Man. I had to MOVE OUT or I was going to lose my mind. This Man has done some LOW DOWN DIRTY STUFF TO ME. Hurting me mentally, spiritually, physically, financially.
Thank you for sharing 😌😌🙏
These ppl literally investigate you- Information Gatherers (blackmail)
@@pyarkaalooigs
Another great revelation, Andrew 👍🙏💪 Once you've seen how ugly and empty AND BITTER they are behind the mask they know , and that's the moment the love stops and THE WAR begins. They always PRESUME everything is a competition , and they misjudge you simply as another threat that must be taken down . Once they know YOU KNOW it will NEVER be the same again !! 🙏❤️❤️
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YUP!
It's like the veil has been removed
To educate those of you in a narcissist romantic relationship, a hoover happens every time you get into a heated argument. They'll silent treatment you for 2 days to a week, call you all types of vile names, stonewall you, etc. Then one day, they'll act like nothing happened, they're sorry, they love you and they're going to change, etc. If you go back each of these times it will repeat twice a week. This video is 100% accurate.
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I feel that this person has turned me into somebody that I don't recognize. I wasn't always this weak or scared all the time. I feel absolutely drained & careless about things that used to matter to me. You're words definitely help me 💙
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I went through the same thing, I thought I lost myself forever. I am sending you prayers for strength and clarity and a virtual hug . You are stronger than you think. You are here! Andrew and this community are the best . I hope you keep watching ❤
@@lysaholly Thankyou ❤️🥰🙏🏼
It's the same for many of us. We were happy, interesting, fun people before.😢 I have no idea what happened to me, it's like my entire identity has been erased
I understand how you feel. I literally didn't recognise myself in the mirror after only 2 years with a Malignant Narcissist. I'm praying for you that you find a way to get out and go no contact. I promise you will find yourself again. Please love yourself and put your wellbeing first, you can be happy again ❤️🕯️🙏🏻
Life with the narcissist is exactly what you are describing... Right is left, up is down, black is white, etc. It's a horrible existence, to say the least. I'm glad I'm out of it. Andrew is right. Time is one of the biggest losses that you can't get back. And when the water flows under the bridge, you can't stop it... it keeps flowing until it reaches the ocean and is gone forever. Don't wait until you are my age to begin healing... I didn't have these resources 17 + years ago. I wish I had. My life would be very different had I known sooner.
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34 years but I wrote a list of all the wonderful things I did or achieved (narcissist not included) and realized life wasn't a waste, just the moments with the narcissist 💖
Married for 2 years, together for 11, and after we got married, he treated me terrible ,never nice on anniversary ruined everything, if I made him my god he would've been truly happy , well I woke up and left him and then took him back, just to have him get even and leave me a year later, I truly know who he is now!!
Their dissatisfaction with the "wrong" peanut butter 🫙 you voluntarily got for them from the supermarket is chillingly accurate.
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Once you see behind the masks of the narcissists around you, you are bewildered that people who have been around them for years and decades, either can't see it, or don't mind being supply. Mind-blowing!
Good point....but maybe they knew something was amiss but couldn't quite put their finger on it. Like so many of us.
Blessings
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Some are so clever and breadcrumb just the right amount to keep you in the loop. I wouldn’t judge if i were you. Namaste❤
Valid point about breadcrumbs.
In a culture of "don't judge," I'm working daily to discern wolves in sheeps' clothing. Not understanding someone's true character can cost your life. It cost 15 years of mine.
"Are you unworthy to judge the smallest matters?"
I Cor. 6:2@@jeannieotb8491
Yes, how do they manage that?? The mind boggles! I agree with how the Narc Con channel describes them as "functioning lunatics".
Get out at the first raging, silent treatment, discard...It is true what Andrew is saying! I allowed myself to be hoovered back a dozen times or in the beginning begged to come back myself. Greater losses each time. I am over 60 now, have a chance to heal and life is beginning to get better, He found a way to hurt me when I made. the mistake of replying to what seemed like a sincere note regarding a news event in the city I live in now. Give it up now! You do not possess enough love to change them. Your forgiveness each time is making them worse! God help the woman he gets ahold of next.
I would drive out to the Wildlife Refuge and take my dinner out there . I dreaded going home. I cried every morning when I left home to go to work because I was exhausted from the being on eggshells and little sleep. I kept a journal in my car . I wrote what he said because he kept telling me " I never said that ". Or Your crazy , one that I heard A Lot .. Andrew's videos continue to keep me on track .
❤Isn't that something, I'd recently mentioned they deflect all cuz they can't keep track of all their lies hence keep going for broke... They're messed up, found out, really have to get on with acting pretending all is ok and normal, it's not, they've a certain pattern projected way of doing things, we're just a category in their lives, like paying the electricity bill keeps the light on, having done whatever in the past should in no way increment them as they'd never see anything wrong with anything they've done, totally stunned that we should 😮 and the gaul to bring it up hence we're the problem/earning the blame/it's never them, it's like lending your friend a toy which comes back broken, well of course that never happened while they were playing with it, yet there it is, broken and it's your fault for throwing a wrench 🔧 in their oblivion that anything could have gone otherwise than returned perfect, even though mistakes do happen but not on their shift!
That exhaustion is a terrible thing. ❤️
I was told I was crazy too. 😢
Thank you for sharing..😌🙏❤️
Yes he told the outside world that I am the crazy one!!! It’s heartbreaking!!! This kind of cold heart people are the realy crazy one… trying to make you look like crazy!
In one of his rage fits, when we were wrestling on the floor, the mask slipped, I saw the ugliness, the hatred, the rage and he said to me "I can't believe I got this far!" Narcissists know exactly what they are doing and who they are it seems.
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Oh yes they know who they are!!! Little kids trapped in adult bodies, not able to grow up cause not willing to reflect what they do to be. Just willing to live in impulses of me me me , take take take.. I don’t care who feeds me next!
💯 they know and knew the whole time. That is brutally terrifying when you realise it. When the Nex's mask fell off I literally felt like I was staring at the devil.
How sick is that!!!
@@JH-td4mnthe day I saw the devil in my husbands eyes, 2008 in a rage. By the grace of God, he asked me for a divorce and in a short time with counseling, I was told I was married to a narc. I found a good podcast on topic, but finding Andrew 3 months or more ago, he had been a part of my life almost daily. To read your comments, gave me chills on my own reality but I am doing so much better - faith/family/church/ inner strength.
🥵🖤 yep i was thrown away like a peice of paper on the highway i did feel that bruised and broken. Left with no confidence a broken heart soul spirit . I was a mess id given all i had and felt like a empty shell with nothing ele to give . Was a dark muddy cold lonely crawl up but i did it hallelujah. 😊🎉 Now my heart is full of love for myself. I can do what ever i want to do i can have the smooth peanut butter i craved along with ever other thing i want.... buy myself beautifully flowers in more ways then one ...Thankyou god for that discusting lesson . Love and peace 🎉❤
Speaking of a hoover. After 8 months I recently got a text from him. He started as to how loyal, loving and wonderful he was to me. Then started on how bad I was and disrespectful during the length of our relationship. And on and on about negativity towards me. He then mentioned that he has a brain tumor and has limited time to live. Sent two more messages and of course all directed towards me. I blocked him. I felt like shit for a week. Thinking about what he said to me.. He was probably looking for sympathy on his so called illness. I really doubt he is sick. Either way I am so done and happy to be moving forward.
She had to know every move that I made. I couldn't be late getting home from work or else I "was up to no good". If I knew that I was going to be late I had to call her. I was on a leash and I believe if she could have gotten away with it I would have been wearing a shock collar. 😅🧐 Every note is in my head. I had no right to privacy at all. Support was out of the question, too. "You don't ever talk to anyone about me!" I never talked about her, I was trying to figure out what the heck was going on and why it was all so confusing. I see it all now, though, and the confusion is gone, the darkness is gone, and I'm getting back to me. 🙏 Thank you, Andrew, and God bless you! 🙏
Welcome 💯💯😌🙏
The phone was my electric fence.⚡️ These creatures are evil personified. They report to the father of lies. The number of narc globally is horrific. Thank you for another wonderful truth sharing video, exposing the methods, schemes and road to recovery from narcs. Ask God to get you through this and He will.
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Wanting someone to say when and why they're late doesn't have to be a bad thing. I found it annoying when he (narc) was always late home after we had the baby, why didn't he want to come home and take care of new family? Well, he was a pathological liar narcissist is why...
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No, I had no problem with letting her know but she knew that every day on the job was different for me and sometimes was asked or required to work a little longer than my regular shift and sometimes I just didn't have time to call her. I worked in a shipping/receiving department of a fiberglass manufacturer and we handled customer orders and a lot of other things. Trying to explain that to someone who doesn't listen or doesn't care about anything other than what they are thinking because I didn't call and faced angry accusations of infidelity or whatever she felt like accusing me of doing. It was usually when it was just a few extra twenty minutes or so when I didn't call because I was too busy. Oh you better believe that she looked at each and every paystub, too. 🧐 I mean everything proved that I wasn't lying every time when it came to working overtime not that I ever lied to her but that didn't matter. If it weren't so sad I'd laugh. What was worse was work was the only place I felt like I could be me and she didn't like it that I enjoyed my job either. Everything got to the point where she was all that I cared/thought about and I couldn't enjoy anything without thinking that I'll be given the third degree as soon as I got home. Sorry for ranting on. I just remembered all of the threats, put downs, berating and belittling that it caused for working an extra few minutes at work that only benefited us. I'm thinking it didn't happen every single time but she really confused me. 😑
I was booted when I started figuring him out.
Thank God.
Like your attitude...👍
High five!!!
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Learned that mine was after everything I had single mother 2 jobs and a rental , I paid dearly but now I know the truth starting over wasn’t easy but doable .
The narcissist is a Psychic Vampire sucking the life and energy out of the nice person who has become a captive victim and remains due to The Fog.
I used to do Uber to prevent from going home early.
I took a second shift job to avoid being with my ex narc in the evenings.
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@@Hatbox948lmbo!!! Right!!!
I'm sorry you men went through this!
I like your closing points and reminders, Andrew: "This is YOUR path ..." For the ones that have been getting the message and education, you know by now, no one will understand a whiff, unless they've been through it. Anyone that casts self-doubt upon you ( Narc, Flying Monkey, well meaning friend, family member, etc. ), i.e., "Maybe it's you, maybe they didn't mean it, maybe things will get better, yada , yada ...?" Let them do them and You do You!
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Great for bringing this up Joe!
It was because of ignorant council through my church that I stayed with the narc. Can't reverse the past..but hope those here who have ears to hear...really listen to what Joe is saying. Time is precious & so are you. Be careful & wise who you share or council with!
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@@marieeakin8534 Thanks, Marie. For myself, it was a bad habit to explain things too much or anything at all to the wrong people . One assumes by position of authority, they know better. I can't ignore wise advice on all various matters, but on this Narcissism Topic, it was a great lesson-- most have zero idea. You Have a Pleasant Evening!👍
@jhavajoe3792
Yes, when it comes to narcissism..
most people do not have a clue & it could make things a lot worse.
It did for me & I want to help prevent that happening to anyone else. If I wouldn't have passed this forward...it would have been all for not.
I understand what your saying Joe. I've learned a lot & honed that in myself. ☕
Cheers friend 🌈 🎀😘
💯, we have to trust our instincts. Even some therapists can make us doubt the severity of what we've experienced, because if it's never happened to you, how could you really understand? That's why I think more survivors should train to be counsellors. Our knowledge is invaluable and we could maybe help others if we feel that's right for us, just like Andrew does!
Thank You Andrew 🙏❤the narc will not change, they cannot change! They are the energy vampires, the kill joys. I’m not sure if they really care about themselves. But, that is not my problem. My main focus right now is healing and being good to myself. Stay strong my Brothers and Sister. Namaste 🙏
Namaste..😌🙏🙌
You too love and light 😊
You are not dramatic at all to all those who understand. You are realistic and objective. Everything is exactly as you say.
Hey Ruby! Thought I’d check up on the comments section here! It’s stormy outside as a cold front just came through, and I’m gonna cozy up with my electric blanket (10 hr auto shut off) and fall asleep watching RUclips 🥰☺️🥰☺️🥰 How are YOU doing today?! ❤❤❤❤❤
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@@jennifernewton4637 My dear Jennifer 🤗😃. Exactly what the weather is like in Texas is what it's like here today. The cold front arrived ❄️after unusually warm weather and it is terribly cold 🌬️👢🧤🧣. Snow has also fallen in the hills🏔️. There are also smaller earthquakes. Basically, a very unusual weather 😳
@@rubyjet9513Hey Ruby! Sorry I didn’t see this sooner, I didn’t get a notification 😔 Here in Houston it’s completely flat, geographically speaking, and we’re not THAT far inland from the Gulf of Mexico, so snow is quite a rarity. It just gets BONE CHILLINGLY cold… sometimes 🥶😛😄❤❤❤
Good afternoon Andrew and friends ❤❤❤❤❤
Hi Jennifer!❤
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@@emilywilson7308Hey Emily! 🙌🙌😁❤🤗❤️🤗
Mime is dragging out the divorce LOL but i hired new lawyers today and a Forensic accounting team BC we all know how much they LOVE TO HIDE MONEY!!!! 😂😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉
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OMG !!!just starting divorce after 28 yrs.of abuse. He WILL try n screw me financially , which is part of why I stayed, and not wanting to go thru atty crap. Wanted me to hide 30k when I first met him from then wife while they were ending his 3rd marriage....GIANT red flag too bad I ignored that and many other red flags. tu for your post
@Conradjowarrior I was in it for 36 years so I soooooo completely understand you!!! Yes my ex is a financial criminal and when they are like this you have to have a forensic accounting team!!!! I can not stress this enough. I have been putting it off BC its expensive but i have to do it. He won't move forward with the divorce so I have a new law team and now the financial team. They will be witteness in the trial BC i plan to take this to trial. It's exhausting mentally, financially, emotionally and physically 😪
@Conradjowarrior I really feel for you my ex was the same please feel free to vent to me. NAMASTE 🙏 i feel like putting his name out here so everyone can google him so they understand what im dealing with. My heart breaks for you.
@karenelder8537 thank you good to know someone understands.
It does come down to you or them. Great video. Save yourself! It's a slow death. Thank you, Andrew. 3rd version coming up
Welcome..💯💯💯
I am stuck. I am trapped. Lord have mercy. 😢
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Pray to Him for courage and help for a way out. Hug
after the mask has slipped off….a narcissist treats you exactly the way they feel about you.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
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@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone excellent video andrew.
really like the way you describe things, such as "rabbit hole of education" or "you are writing things down that the narcissist wants you to forget about."
keep putting the idiot narcissists on blast, one video at a time!
It took me a long time to realize this. Now he can’t understand why “I’m so mean to him” haha! Karma! Getting out asap!! Thanks Andrew❤❤❤❤❤
@@jillb7234 narcissists expect you to accept behavior that they would never tolerate.
stand your ground. all the best in 2024.
-cheers, steven 🍁
Andrew I was once that crumpled up sheet of paper and thrown on the freeway until I figured them out and went no contact
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this is spiritual , they all have the same playbook, it has to have a demonic core
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My ex constantly pushed his luck, he pushed my patience and tolerance way beyond it's limit especially when he thought I was in a vulnerable position whereby I had no choice but to accept his way, always forcing his will onto me even though he knew I was very unhappy with his decisions, when any of his plans fell apart, he walked away like it was up to someone else to fix his mess ups
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I love your videos and the comments. When my exNarc showed, it was like movies with black contact lenses)demonic eyes/soulless. Scariest thing i ever saw.
Today, I know a number of very concerning "secrets" that were hidden from me by the ex narc. Couldn't speak about anything that had to do with intimacy or spirituality with him as I now know he has no soul or ability to love. Looking back, I am sure there are "more" secrets that he will take to his grave. What I saw at the end when the discard was nothing but evil. I am grateful I was not destroyed by the narc and I survived and I am thriving! Thank God, for the strength of my faith and resilience and courage to not give up on myself. Blessings to all! ❤
Thank you for sharing..😌💯🙏
I believe that most Narcissists hold some very dark secrets about what they've done in their lives. Many bordering on criminal. A person who lies pathologically and has no conscience is very dangerous.
After getting involved with the last narcissist i can say its taught me to actually value myself more and not believe someone who showed all the signs and i did not listen but liked to listen to the nice things he said. I have been isolating a lot and i feel i need to. Thanks for your wisdom. I have attracted narcissists because i didnt have boundaries. I actually put boundaries with this last ' friendship' and he stepped all over them i wish i had walked away as soon as i smelled a rat but i can only learn from it
Thanks for your share 👍
we're all learning here!
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Agreeing with Marie. We are all learning here. Your example is definitely touching many people no doubt there. 💪❤️🙌🙏
My narc said when I asked about her vision for our future, her hopes and dreams for us she said “I don’t do that.” I was looking for a LT relationship and she said looking for a “companion.” WOW! I was stunrd as the love bombing was amazing and I was hooked.?seven years poor health, mental state. Etc. final discard Dec 23 . I feel terrible.
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Towards the end she would look in my eyes when we would cuddle after a good day and tell me she loved me. By then i had seen it and was completely depleted and when i looked in those eyes there was nothing behind them. Empty. They didnt even know what that meant, well they did. An entire different meaning than i have for it
I believe I have found another narcissist. it’s like starting all over. Ugh.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
There was a time towards the end when I was bringing up things they had done and said that nobody else knows how manipulative they are, and they responded with this stumped silence which pretty much said, "you're right."
You will see this a lot with social media as many narcissists will befriend and exploit those who have a lot of followers for clout than to build an actual friendship.
Of course. They’ll be jumping onto any bandwagon they see fit. Why change the habit of a lifetime….
Against my better judgment I broke no contact with my nex (text), and she was mask free, cold and nasty and entitled. She ticks virtually every narcissist box. At least my trauma bond got decimated!
On sight alone, I found her very attractive. With her mask, she’s extremely charming. Without her mask, or seeing past her mask, she’s female emperor Palpatine.
Thank you for your insightful messages. You truly make a difference.
Welcome 😌💯🙏
Yes I agree Andrew.... a Devine Hand wanted me to gain the wisdom! I see the many narcs that have come along side & hurt my life.The pattern would have repeated had I not listened & emerged myself in my work needed to change to help identify & protect myself
from such entities. Moving Forward 🌈 🎀😘
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*Pray Scripture* 📖 *upon your enemies: Let mine enemy be as the wicked, and he that riseth up against me as the unrighteous.* (Job 27:7) *KJV*
- Luke 18:7-8
- Revelation 2:23
- Proverbs 12:2
- Psalm 145:20
- Psalm 7:13
- Psalm 34:15-16
- Psalm 52:1-5
- Psalm 55:15
- Psalm 92:7
- Psalm 139:19
- Psalm 104:35
- Psalm 109:15
- Job 18:17-21
- Isaiah 26:14
- Ezekiel 21:32
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Thank you for sharing these....your hard work is appreciated!
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Psalm 52 is powerful. The Lord led me to read that one out loud. The narc hated it, he was very threatened by it.
@@acolley2891 Psalm 55:15 *KJV*
2 months into a Narcissist relationship she had 2 rage fits,1st I was so confused,After the 2nd one I was gone now the smear campaign…so what thankfully I have good friends…. I thought her head was going to spin around….
Thanks Andrew - love you all in this family as well
They undermine you at every chance. That's what happens.
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Thank you for the information and the videos, God Bless you for spreading this content your a good man, 🙏!..
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
My ex-narc husband, re-married. His younger wife recently died. He had 5 life insurance policies on her, and buried her next to my parents, in my town, where she never lived. You can’t make this stuff up.
Thank you for sharing this..😌😌🙏💯
OMG!!!!!!!!!!
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Are you serious???! Omg that's a psychopath, def far past a narc
Their shoe drops get so predictable it makes you feel disgusted
Glad I recognized her as a covert narcissist and called her out as such. It’s been one year since she left and I’ve never been happier in my life! She went on to a new supply who she never would have known if it wasn’t for me. The new supply is unaware of who she is and I intend to remain no contact. Like you said Andrew, everyone will know eventually and when her current supply is over, I’ll reach out to him and be his support system, I’m sure I know things about her that he doesn’t and never will, incarceration and institutionalized, yeah it was a doozy of a narc!
We can never be “enough” for a person (/the narcissist) who is never “enough” for themselves.
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Amazing video!! I wrote notes to remember his poor behavior, looked up how to respond to his offensive comments, the vindictive things he did omg. I had cancer surgery last year and I came home from the hospital and fell asleep on the bed watching TV. The next thing I know he was pinching my nose shut. 😳 I honestly can't believe the things he was doing.
What was he doing so no healing for me only with my eyes open until now that I've been out of it. I am letting my nervous system quiet down and heal. Thanks to your videos helping me😊❤️
Welcome 💯💯🙏🙌
That’s awful. So glad you’re out of it. 🙏💪💯
I'm so sorry! They have no shame & will not let you heal. Been there after a stroke, he didn't care!!!
Glad you are here, and Andrew is a great source of information & wisdom to get healing from narcissistic abuse. Much peace and power in your healing journey. 🙏
Narc pretended to build me up; but it was coming from his thinking that HE was SO much better than me. In worth. In value as a person.
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Go Andrew. Preach!!!!!!!
Yes.The not this something else...never ends.
5:20 i do not mean to pick on people with allergies/intolerances, but every person i was close to who was a narcissist had diet requirements they used to control others, and the most common one was: self-diagnosed gluten intolerance.
the other stuff also rings true. the one relationship i had was great until right after I signed a lease, then they pressured me to pay to move us to an even better place promising one of the 9 rooms would be for me and my friends. then the second we moved in the plan changed: the room promised to me was only for her family to come visit and a second bedroom for her to take naps.
They continually move the goal posts,and change their mind on things,✨🤗❤️
He had me laughing at gluten free peanut butter😂
You cant unsee what you’ve seen under the mask.. and when you see it it’s hard to even remember how things were before.. this was a helpful video.. I especially resonated when you said “i had a lot going on for me and could have done so much with my life”.. I apologise I’m not sure if those were your exact words.. but it was along those lines.. I feel that right now.. that I could have done so much.. but I’m just a shell of myself now.. at least I know the truth.. thank you.
Welcome..💯🙏😌
Y
You still have infinite possibilities , find whatever brings JOY(S) to your 💙 and do those things. 😊
@@suesanders1169thank you that means a lot to me. It’s hard to find an identity again when you never really had one.
Hi Laila.
Just to let you know that I have replied twice to you on other channel and my comments have disappeared.
Don't know what to do now!
Can you let me know if you get this one.❤❤❤❤
Every word, Andrew, every word. keep up the good job.
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Im pretty certain the "boy" ive been married to for 12 years, enjoyed how he blindsided me at his discard, he had a level of arrogance i didn't see in 12 years. ( i believe he had already started mirroring his new supplies energy) & let me tell ya, it wasn't pretty 😈 He had a smirk as he threw me away, his pupils were dark and his voice changed 😈 He found pleasure in hurting me
Andrew you are absolutely right on My deal started 10 years ago with afew of them. This video explains everything Yes I kept a journal after this but now I can go back years before that and have the answers to so many questions WoW I'm so thankful for you. I have been out of this toxicity for awhile now but these feelings of that still lingers on. It's like I still can't believe this happened.
When I was in highschool I can remember learning quickly that if the house was clean and tidy when my dad cane home from work, the percentage that I would catch his after work rage went significantly down. A clean kitchen and house made hime happy.
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Thank you, Andrew, for always educating us with the TRUTH, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth! NAMASTE
Welcome..😌🙏🙌
Thanking you again Brother. 💯
Welcome 😌😌🙏
Beautiful view behind ya
Thank you for your pep talk everyday. I need it to stay focused and on the right path on the way out of this crazy land I’ve been living in for decades. 💪❤️✌️
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When you use the term ZOOMBIE LIKE STATE ! My body and mind react with anger! ☠️I’m a year out of my NARC relationship and certain things you say trigger me but now I’m stronger and say thank god I found you and for teaching me IM NOT NUTS ! It’s so helpful knowing others are out there. 💪👍
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I am so glad I found your channel a few months ago to help me make sense of the past 25 years of my marriage. You have given me so much knowledge on this topic. I can look back on countless times of his abuse and the fog I always questioned his behavior. This is all so SICK!!! Him wanting a divorce was the best for me. This abuse would have continued if he had not wanted a divorce and I would have continued a miserable. After January my divorce should be final. I have been working on myself for months and am onto a much better life. Thank you Andrew. God Bless You and continue doing what you are doing for this group!
Welcome..💯🙏🙌
Hoover makes things worse,they can convince everybody how great they are ,how they are right and they forgive all mistakes that was my fault ,never them,they pray God but serve something else.
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You are so right, Andrew . He settled for a new supply, he was the very sick aging narcissist, she became his caregiver, servant, taxi driver and a mommy.
Thank You Andrew❤
Welcome ❤️🙌
Thank you Andrew, you’ve truly helped me heal.
Thanks, Andrew.
Thank you so much Andrew, the honesty is very important and appreciated. Love you and community ❤️ 🙏
Should be a criminal law for the damage they do let alone financial. Families hurt and children psych damage.
Absolutely 👍
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Convict the enablers as well, unfortunately the entire family court system is corrupt and misinformed
Oh Andrew . You our so right. I don’t know how , why, what ? it’s my fault. I’m the one that goes back and I’m the problem. Now can I want their love so much. . ❤
Thank u this week I've learnt so much from u , I'm now 7 days no contact putting into practice everything. My mom is a narcissist, all u say resonates ❤ an incident happened last week, it crossed my line, I got to my limit, then searched narcissists on RUclips found ur channel. I'm now healing making plans for long term no contact I'm just doing my research right now so I'm giving myself space , blocked her , I need a breather I'm exhausted. 😢
💯facts 👏🏽👏🏽🙏🏾❤️🤗
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Call it a spiritual awakening or an apifany. I realized I Was giving too much to others. I could not unsee their slipped mask. I started giving to me. I started taking nature walks, walks in the rain, starring at the beautiful stars in the sky, going outside just to hear the birds sing, creating/ witing new songs. Practicing self Love
He treated me like an object and was jealous of my happy moments Walking away was the best decision I ever made ❤❤ Have a great night Andrew.
good afternoon andrew love you
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Andrew, i think we were married to the same person! This blows my mind. This is word for word what happened to me. He had me convinced that i was the dysfunctional one. There were red flags, but i denied that the person that supposedly "loved me" could do such wicked things to me. Im still in the fog and trying to heal, but it is so painful, especially knowing the deviousness is on purpose. How? How is that possible? They have no conscience. I could never tear someone apart piece by piece like that. I feel like ive aged 20 years in the past three years. Its been hell.
Thank you for your encouraging videos and support. This is my favorite video so far. I will be listening to this video over and over
A narc finding the Lord.......nah never a narc is anti Christ's best friend
Glory to God, in Jesus Christ name!🙏👍👍
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I didnt even know what the word narcissist meant,niether had I come across such a person! Looking back I can see/understand so much more,I dont need to write anything down as I remember it all,,,day by day I remember anothor "saga" all is explained,thanks again Andrew.
Welcome 🙏🙌😌
Best thing I did for myself during the relationship was to keep a list of incidents. After a while, the ups and downs became so predictable. Things also got progressively worse and ugly. Boundaries I tried to set were countered with ridiculous consequences.
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Educated and empowered is a helpful mantra
I only new and saw the mask
after i got discarded
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😇GVB ❤ ...checking the boxes... I wondered why my dad and mother didn't tell me. Perhaps mother didn't know about it. We're pretty isolated from this level of LOW.😢 🎉Even if she did know, how do you tell. Your only child...Your daughter .❤ I would probably have thought she was insane. 😮 There was NO internet to connect those suffering from this garbage. ❤ LORD help us.
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You are so right Andrew. If you have to keep notes about your relationship, something isnt right. I wish i knew that before. I kept notes of his bad behavior on my phone. I didnt want his good acts to cover up the outrageous this he did ans said about me in public to humiliate me. His jokes were insults. I needed to document the truth so i wouldnt become delusional like him. Now hes hoovering like a gale force wind. Hes trying to gaslight like hes getting paid to do it. I cant avoid him because we work together. Hes now changed his shift and is working the same one as me. Send good vibrations my way please !!!
I agree 💯 I love my baby
Narcissists ego is so fragile and so needy that if you do accept a Hoover after breaking away for a time- you’ll be punished ten fold for rejecting them. They’ll have to prove to themselves that they’re still powerful and they do that by crushing your spirit humiliating you.
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Nej tak Andrew jeg går ikke tilbage og støvsuge mig ind igen ikke her det kan de for andre til ,jeg vil hellere fokusere på mig selv. God dag Andrew 🙂👍
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❤thank you Andrew❤ this segment is highly informative ❤
Is it usial that the N can come and go time after time?? He goes away from his family from all responsibilities!!! Try to break our life and punish us e et time we said “ hey stop” he say I m I’ll … need a break ? From what from his family changing position and leave us in insecurity
Without any kind of support
Is this a normal behavior for the N ???
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I walked around in a fog and did not know why It was 2 years of pure hell. He checked every box you spoke of.
My car's credit bank account jewelry was all gone. But I was so glad to Jess have me He still calls once a twice a year Love you, I miss you accountability. Elk
Re,fueling the narc😢relationship, if he doesn't stop people from their harassment, there won't be anything even close to a relationship !
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Thats called Dharma🎉
Thank you, Andrew!
SO True!! Preach!!
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