The main lesson I learned with boundaries it to keep a journal for my progress, expect a lot of mistake and trial and error, and meditate to let go. That meditation book called 30 Days to Overcome Guilt by Harper Daniles helped me to, because I felt guilty setting boundaries.
Thank you-- I really respect both of your godly Insights🙏🏼 I don't know if daughters with fathers like this know so deeply how blessed they are. This father is a beautiful example of who we should all have if God filled this world ❤ You're so correct that people pleasing stems from dominating parent(s) and/or first family member(s)-- it's the foundational training. Some kids react by people pleasing and later might alternate between their own style of dominating & pp-ing their own kids and spouse. And other kids react by only kissing up when necessary and they become the demanding entitled one like their leader. I've been a people pleaser bred from birth. My problem is not that i think i'm a good person for pp-ing, or that i like being mistreated -- It's that ***I haven't even known what is wrong, I just know i've always struggled with feeling uncomfortable in the world*** I'm almost 60 and have been trying to figure it out for most of my life, trying to untangle the web to get to today, where I am realizing I need to perfect the art of setting boundaries-- that's how I found you guys talking about it. I've come far, but it's tricky. The dynamics are not just between the dominant person and the pp. Just like with rats-- when you find one narcissist or one pp, you've found a nest. And a pp can go alternating back-and-forth between dominating and being dominated depending on who they're with/ the circumstances. It's also tricky because someone crossing your boundaries is not always obvious. When I'm sitting in my new hairstylist's chair make and realizing that he has other things on his mind-- there's nothing to say because he's being nice, friendly, not breaking any laws, poor thing seems lonely, but isn't making any moves on you or anything... I've been so uncomfortable and at a loss as to what to do to feel comfortable and move forward correctly. Now I can see this is about me setting boundaries-- but what type? How??? Do you address unspoken boundary issues by unspoken boundary setting? How??? Love is not black-and-white. Loving a person is multifaceted - you can love the loving parts of them and not other parts.
Subhan’Allah what a beautiful podcast I’ve come across! Speaks straight to my soul. Xx keep them coming ❤❤❤ May Allah reward you. May we all be surrounded with people that remind us of the love of Allah. ❤❤❤
Amazing! Allah y barek fikom. I have to edit my comment and react to what he said about being validated by others. That's so true!!!! The price is so high and temporarily... it is not worth it at all!!!
I have a question. How do believe I'm not wrong about something? How do one follow their heart and do the right thing? I feel bad for almost everything and I have never been right,
Your videos makes me uncomfortable because it hits as the right spot. It shows me the truth that I am consciously or subconsciously ignoring, hits at the right spots.
Can you please talk about toxic mothers. They exist even if they are muslim. The horrible kinds. Unfort some of have been given horrible mothers despite us doing SO MUCH; PPL pleasing- lost father at 4 years i'm 40 now, youngest child but had to grow up bc the eldest siblings didn't take responsibility after father's passing.. Single as mom has turned away so many proposals it has been hell for me and i've just started to wake up to all the manipulation. Etc. please talk about setting boundaries with parents etc
Thanks for the lessons but I think the bible issue of the slap is not about people pleasing. Look at it as not doing as they did. Or To do better. Your nt pleasing them. You doing what your God requires you for. And that's forgiveness.
Salam alikom Just want to give a sincere advice .. if you use your education & talent also your sweet talk points in accordance with Islamic values & laws you ll be benefiting lots of people & most importantly your own self but if you use all of that to be accepted by the western media! Everything you do ll be " ًهباءا منثورا" & I'm sure that you know that quranic term very well, as much you continue living .. Your beauty, youth, positions, social status all be gone sooner or later then when you're 6' feet under you ll be meeting ALLAH YOUR CREATOR with the undisputed justice & if you're not islamicly credible .. we ll would have a serious irreversible problems .. Aren't we ! Do what's pleasing ALLAH the most befor it’s too late, thank you.
Don’t you think that by her sharing her knowledge to the western media she’s showing us a different side of what many of us don’t understand about your culture and religion. Over the years there’s been lots of negativity about your religion or culture perhaps by the media or just a lack of understanding. I think that when you hear her you realize we were taught lies and there’s so much beauty and knowledge that brings on more curiosity about your religion and culture.
this podcast doesn’t get the recognition it deserves!
True
agreed
As a 17 y/o listening to your podcast, I'm learning a lot. I love the guidance that your podcast gives to me, thankyouuu🙏🏻
Same here sis❤
The main lesson I learned with boundaries it to keep a journal for my progress, expect a lot of mistake and trial and error, and meditate to let go. That meditation book called 30 Days to Overcome Guilt by Harper Daniles helped me to, because I felt guilty setting boundaries.
Thank you-- I really respect both of your godly Insights🙏🏼 I don't know if daughters with fathers like this know so deeply how blessed they are. This father is a beautiful example of who we should all have if God filled this world ❤
You're so correct that people pleasing stems from dominating parent(s) and/or first family member(s)-- it's the foundational training.
Some kids react by people pleasing and later might alternate between their own style of dominating & pp-ing their own kids and spouse.
And other kids react by only kissing up when necessary and they become the demanding entitled one like their leader.
I've been a people pleaser bred from birth. My problem is not that i think i'm a good person for pp-ing, or that i like being mistreated -- It's that
***I haven't even known what is wrong, I just know i've always struggled with feeling uncomfortable in the world***
I'm almost 60 and have been trying to figure it out for most of my life, trying to untangle the web to get to today, where I am realizing I need to perfect the art of setting boundaries-- that's how I found you guys talking about it.
I've come far, but it's tricky. The dynamics are not just between the dominant person and the pp. Just like with rats-- when you find one narcissist or one pp, you've found a nest. And a pp can go alternating back-and-forth between dominating and being dominated depending on who they're with/ the circumstances.
It's also tricky because someone crossing your boundaries is not always obvious. When I'm sitting in my new hairstylist's chair make and realizing that he has other things on his mind-- there's nothing to say because he's being nice, friendly, not breaking any laws, poor thing seems lonely, but isn't making any moves on you or anything... I've been so uncomfortable and at a loss as to what to do to feel comfortable and move forward correctly. Now I can see this is about me setting boundaries-- but what type? How??? Do you address unspoken boundary issues by unspoken boundary setting? How???
Love is not black-and-white. Loving a person is multifaceted - you can love the loving parts of them and not other parts.
"because you've indulged in self tortured" wow that hits home hard
I love the guidance in these podcasts, truly one of a kind!
Subhan’Allah what a beautiful podcast I’ve come across! Speaks straight to my soul. Xx keep them coming ❤❤❤ May Allah reward you.
May we all be surrounded with people that remind us of the love of Allah. ❤❤❤
2:09 when your dad said “عليه الصلاة والسلام وعلى اهل بيته الكرام" ❤
Amazing! Allah y barek fikom. I have to edit my comment and react to what he said about being validated by others. That's so true!!!! The price is so high and temporarily... it is not worth it at all!!!
Just discovered this channel on accident and Mashaallah you guys have amazing content Allah humma barik
Your videos help me alot. I'm always waiting for the next one. Thankyou for your valuable words layla ❤
I wish you had this on Spotify
Amazing content Leyla!
Love is Divine it comes from God, you cannot love someone who abuses you, love comming from God cannot go to a manipulative person. Wow!
I have a question.
How do believe I'm not wrong about something? How do one follow their heart and do the right thing? I feel bad for almost everything and I have never been right,
MashAllah, your conversations are very inspirational! New subscriber here.❤
Your videos makes me uncomfortable because it hits as the right spot. It shows me the truth that I am consciously or subconsciously ignoring, hits at the right spots.
Which video is this ? i want to watch itt >< YOU REALLY AMAZING LAYLA may Allah protect you and your family❤
If you live to be treated badly surely that is due to low self esteem stemming from childhood?
📝
I love your speeches, this one in particular makes me feel a bit uncomfortable the way you interrupt your guest constantly 😅
Love your podcast. How come he can’t be on camera? ❤
Can you please talk about toxic mothers. They exist even if they are muslim. The horrible kinds. Unfort some of have been given horrible mothers despite us doing SO MUCH; PPL pleasing- lost father at 4 years i'm 40 now, youngest child but had to grow up bc the eldest siblings didn't take responsibility after father's passing.. Single as mom has turned away so many proposals it has been hell for me and i've just started to wake up to all the manipulation. Etc. please talk about setting boundaries with parents etc
Litmus test- love shouldn’t hurt
And….. do you feel loved?
I just found you. I like you Layla. Salamaleikum
Thanks for the lessons but I think the bible issue of the slap is not about people pleasing. Look at it as not doing as they did. Or To do better. Your nt pleasing them. You doing what your God requires you for. And that's forgiveness.
بودكاست جميل بس مش عارف حاسس بان ليلى مخنوقه ابوها موجود ومش شايفين وجهه فحاسس انها خايفه من ابوها كثير
Salam alikom
Just want to give a sincere advice .. if you use your education & talent also your sweet talk points in accordance with Islamic values & laws you ll be benefiting lots of people & most importantly your own self but if you use all of that to be accepted by the western media! Everything you do ll be " ًهباءا منثورا" & I'm sure that you know that quranic term very well, as much you continue living .. Your beauty, youth, positions, social status all be gone sooner or later then when you're 6' feet under you ll be meeting ALLAH YOUR CREATOR with the undisputed justice & if you're not islamicly credible .. we ll would have a serious irreversible problems .. Aren't we ! Do what's pleasing ALLAH the most befor it’s too late, thank you.
Sis Im sure Layla will respond to that ❤
Don’t you think that by her sharing her knowledge to the western media she’s showing us a different side of what many of us don’t understand about your culture and religion. Over the years there’s been lots of negativity about your religion or culture perhaps by the media or just a lack of understanding. I think that when you hear her you realize we were taught lies and there’s so much beauty and knowledge that brings on more curiosity about your religion and culture.