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Glad I found this video. Engineering freshman right now and I’m also depressed as hell. Came here ambitious but now feel overwhelmed on how I’m gonna finish this and apply for a good grad school or even a job if my GPA is already ass in one of the easier semesters of this degree. I’ve never felt like this bad of a loser my entire life, but unlike you I don’t even do anything about it like studying hard to overcome this. Instead, everytime a ay before an exam, I’m in my room ti study, but I feel so fucking depressed and paralyzed as if I’ve already failed. Idk why, because I know that if I study throughout this entire time I can get a decent grade, but for whatever multitude of reasons thats not what I do, and its messed up. I’m hoping for a miracle at this point that things get better, cuz its not even that I hate engineering or have some other real passions, I do want this degree but there are so many stresses in my life as a busy university student and I feel so misunderstood and unspported (I literally use ChatGPT for therapy) like you talk about, except that my parents are not as harsh and I may even transfer to a different university and start freshman year again, but thats a situation I’m not really that certain about and I don’t know what I can do from here. thought university would be a time of transformation and a fresh start from the hell I’ve been through in highschool, but its kind of like a fancier but even harsher repeat. My mental and physical health as also only gotten worse since I started this and I don’t know the way forward. Only time will tell I guess Its a difficult thing to go through all that, discover your self worth and reverse these conditionings that you had to go through your entire life from your parents and society. Thats super brave and I’m very proud of you for that. Hope you find peace
I feel like I got lucky and skipped that phase. I had a near death experience instead and when I woke up realized that my everything is meaningless and physics could provide meaning to the black abyss of me.
It's almost like a lot of people want to study physics to become another Einstein. As a graduated physics major, I still immensely enjoyed all sorts of physics related topics, it's just that I no longer take fun out of the equation.
Relateable. Im black not asian but its the same tree different color. High pressure to succeed strong identification with academics, top school, study physics burnout then try again. I liked physics but had a warped view of it and what it was /what i could do-- it wasnt worth the mental health so i switched majors junior/senior year and then left school. Happy you got to step back from that and live your life. Physical, mental and emotional health>>> Career or white collar job so hope things are goin well for you and that you are able to engage both the ups and the downs well!!
@official_awei honestly the best decision was leaving all together to find my vision -- i ended up travelig the world, starting a business then finishing school during the pandemo, (after traveling and beginning to build a business) and when i finished my degree (in math/statistics) it was on my terms. I solve problems meaningful to me now and never looked back -- excited to see someone also taking a journey of reflection, inspiring stuff hope it truly goes well for you!!
I'm a physics major, I ended up so sad and beaten up after I finished college, searching for work now is so difficult if all you did was to study a lot of quantum mechanics and mathematics that any industry is interested in, I'm so lost right now, thanks for sharing your experience, you help me to feel less alone in this mess
I'm a high schooler from Japan and everyone's mentality towards academic success, is like that. It's so f cking depressing bro. I've actually been thinking about studying physics in college, but I've also started to think like maybe, I'm not genuinely passionate about it. Maybe like u, i just wanna prove my intelligence to others or have romanticized studying it. I'm in 11th year and have +1 year to still decide what to major in, so I'll make most of that time, thank u for sharing ur story
Hi, as someone from a similar educational system (Taiwan), if you felt genuinely thrilled when solving difficult mathematical physics problems on paper sheet, as it feels profoundly meaningful, regardless of how others think of it (because once you’re in university there will always be people solving more difficult problems than you and solving them will be taken granted) then doing physics will be perfect for you. Otherwise, do the thing you find lowkey embarrassing but enjoy doing it for a prolonged time. I took my vainglorious journey far and took SAT to study physics in Europe for three years to find out that I genuinely don’t like it, what I like is telling people I do it, so that it appears my future is bright and I’m a high valued 理科person.
I'm the same but in America. Although not as competitive the stakes for academics is very high, everyone wants to be better, and it's sad how much people waste their lives for a letter . I wanna get into engineering but I'm starting to doubt if I'd want to spend my entire life in that industry, one more year and then there's no return
Dude I just love physics and math. That’s why I want my degree. Just started my AS at community college. If I can get a job then cool, but I just love it, so much. It gives me purpose.
Yes, please keep going if you love it that much. I also love them to a degree which words can't describe. If you get a job in some other field, continue learning them as a hobby. It gives immense satisfaction to learn something which you have been dying to know.
This is inspiring man. I think one of the most powerful takeaways is that you went through all that and you're still here with us and both mentally and physically stronger. I think that more than proves that at this juncture of life, you can outdo any problem thrown at your way, I mean you already went through a time that I imagine was hell but you still being here and just simply telling your story already speaks of victory and I think that outshines any academic validation you ever got. I mean think about it in order for the rabbit to tell us about how it escaped the lion, means it lived to outdo the odds and the situation, hence giving us its story. Thanks man, you're another wonder we can speak about, a champion.
You are not alone. My situation is very similar to yours right now. I also chose a subject for a motivation similar to yours and got into one of the best universities in my country. I believe the most important thing in studying is a genuine interest in what you are learning. When you are interested, you have the motivation to do homework, prepare for exams, and study the subject. Otherwise, it will be impossible to keep up, especially in high-level colleges/universities. Right now, I am planning to leave university because I know this path will lead me nowhere. I wish you all the best in your new life. Переведи на русский
I agree full-heartedly. The crash out stemmed from a lack of true passion in physics. If he had that passion and genuine interest, I believe it would've been less draining for him to study the subject while he was in college.
Hey, I relate so badly to this video. You’ve been through a lot brother, I’m glad you made it through. Health is truly #1. As an asian in Singapore, it’s super stressful here too. Our entire life is built up on academic success and financial success and honestly I went through and am still going through the same problems as you. I have CFS and severe panic disorder and agoraphobia developed from complications due to academic stress. At one point, I nearly jumped off a train but someone caught me. I didn’t sleep for months too. Everyday I would wake up and pop many different pills just to barely make it through the day. Now I’m still suffering but I figured that all these physical and mental symptoms have a cause, which is stress - whether be it from school or a job. We’re gonna make it one day and get back to full health and happiness, I really really believe. I graduated top of my year from one of the best schools but now I’m struggling to stay afloat in university. I’m thinking of just quitting it all and doing a simple job like a barista or something lol. It’s honestly hilarious how it got to this point 😂 f societal expectations lol. Stay strong 💪🏻
I am a physics major right now in my undergrad during my sophmore year. I hope to go into engineering and possibly work for a space program. There have been incredibly rough moments during my sophmore year. There have been moments where my mind kept screaming at me to just give up because the stress was too much. However, I got a really good grade in my physics class at the end of all the stress, and I feel confident about my classes in the future. I told myself not to give up because I will never know who I truly am if I do not go into a field that I am passionate about. The important thing is to just push through no matter how much it hurts. There will be good moments and bad moments. There were times where I felt that I was too stupid to get involved in physics and math, and there were times that I thought I was wrong about that. I plan on pushing through and aiming towards a masters in electrical engineering. I enjoyed your video very much. Have a good day.
I’m a senior physics undergrad and I found out (at least in Canada) you cant work as an engineer unless you have a bachelors in engineering so my plan to do Engineering Physics has changed slightly. With a masters in engineering you can still work as a research “engineer” but you can’t be the guy who stamps things. (Though I know Canada is more strict than most countries on this front) Also if I can comfort you, I did a big crash and burn after my sophomore year (2020) and I took a couple years doing manual labour making some money cus I used to think I was a genius and after I failed a physics course it made me feel like an idiot and I had never really faced failure like that before in my life. I came back to it, Junior and Senior year are easier and the profs are friendlier and the routine is familiar (At my uni everyone agrees they mark more generously). I always tell people physics is not as hard as they think it is, it’s mostly the “mind-bending” aspect that is draining I think?
❤❤❤ I told my college son study what you want and make you happy. Mental health is the more important thing. I send you a hug. You are a wonderful person.
I dropped out of my master's in physics 8 years ago, because of a breakup (my first girlfriend at the time), I almost died afterwards because I fell into a severe depression, being unemployed, I spent most of my time in my room, and one day I had caught a nasty flu or rather something related to the lungs, which made me stay in bed for like 2 weeks. Tbh I had the force to stand up but I just didn't want to because I was very depressed, and that just destroyed my whole body. I still can't fathom what exactly happened, maybe it was the sudden weight loss, but it started a demonic spiral, my whole body began aching, especially in my back, from the very moment I woke up and all day, and it lasted for a whole year like that. Fortunately my parents weren't that severe with me and they reached out to help me as they could, but I could see that I was seen as a failure for staying at home without anything to do for months and nothing to even aim at. My physical health deteriorated to the point where it became a wake up call, though. The whole social situation began to fade in the back as I was just fearing literally for my life for a while. I just wanted to escape this daily torture and I found an escape after applying and being accepted in some software engineering conversion program. At the time those conversion bootcamps were very new here in France so I jumped in one and slowly but surely, that's how I managed to regain some health, both mentally and physically. Some would say that it's not the best outcome, and software engineering is also known for generating burnouts, but my experience after dropping out was so traumatizing that I just felt lucky to be in the race again. I sometimes feel like my whole journey in physics was just a waste of time, but in reality it helped me a ton, especially for learning pretty much anything. It could have been way worse. I can't really relate with the toxic social pressure coming from parents, mine were not that toxic and tyrannical. However I did feel the pressure not to disappoint them, and I fell into the trap of emprisoning my identity within the cage of these studies. Without these studies I wasn't worth anything, at least that's how I pictured myself, and I had to lose it all to realize that I could rebuild myself up from scratch without it.
This video really resonated with me. I’m in CS right now, and the pressure to keep up with tough math like calculus has been weighing on me and the thought of doing more math classes just isn't for me. I’ve been so focused on grades and school because of financial pressures since fasfa is covering me since I'm low income, but there's more to life than just academics. I’ve been trying to remind myself that doing my best is enough and to focus more on losing weight and hitting the gym for my health, and not to burn myself out with school. Your story really strengthened my resolve to switch my major to IT with a focus on game development. I still love tech, and the change feels like a better balance for my well-being and also because it's something I'm genially interested in. Thanks for sharing your journey
I can relate. You just described my Asian parents when I was growing up. Their number one strict rule for their kids going to college was to study natural sciences, therefore, I was prohibited from going to art school. To make a long story short, I majored in chemistry and minored in physics. I only completed because there was no other choice but to finish school with good grades. I'm happy for you for finding your way to much improved well being. Keep up the remarkable efforts.
Lol at the moment I’m the same way: a major in chemistry and a minor in physics. My parents loosened up on me so I’ll drop the minor and focus my efforts on the majors.
This is so relatable. I come from a whole different culture and studied in a whole different continent but my experience was similar. Thanks for sharing, it feels good to know you are not the only one.
you made the right decision, a very intelligent one, realizing all these things early is great. Better now than realizing it later like a lot of us ...
In a massive study following the lives of thousands of volunteers conducted by harvard, the things they most often regretted before dying were working too much, not spending enough time with family, etc. The things they were the most proud of were the families and relationships they made, not business success, vanity, or wealth. So happy to see you looking out for yourself and the ones you love. This is a good lesson to learn and it will serve you well.
I had my Master's degree in Cambridge, and came to a point of suffering that is beyond explanation. Like you said, I wasn't able to enjoy anything else in life including travelling with my girlfriend because the school was the only thing I could think of, like it's so ridiculous. I noticed that I developed this sense of toxic nostalgia where months later I would remember memories from those intense moments and think that I would miss them, but I think all I missed was each of those opportunities to be present in those moments, and I would feel a sense of regret over these moments. For me the most difficult part in the degree was the absolute lack of support with anything. Most work was online reading and we didn't really have lectures either, and we weren't even allowed to talk much to each other becuase they said it could lead to plagiarism through idea sharing... Like quite literally I was completely alone and was cut out intentionally by the school. I really have no idea how I managed to do research and write my thesis. I think I was so afraid of failure that deep in my mind the only option other than success was to end my life because I thought after wasting all that work that wpuld be the only thing left to do. By the way I don't know how it is in the us but in the uk I had to finish the degree in time or fail completely, not like in european countries where you can just fail classes and retake them next semester. I think it was this fear that activated a sort of auto-pilot in my system and I kind of unconsciously went through the most process. The day i finished everything was like the end of the LOTR where Frodo and Sam lie down and pass out, or where Gandalf takes the king of Rohan out of spell and he comes back to life...
Thanks for posting this. I am taking Engineering Physics 1 right now as a Senior (high school) at a community college along with the lab, Calculus 1, Spanish IV, Aerobic Conditioning (PE Credit), and 2 choirs. I bombed my last Physics test along with getting an 82 on the last Calc exam, and I have a similar thing where I feel overall lethargic almost all the time, or even nauseous sometimes. I am trying to find my way and what I wanna do, but I have barely enough time to breathe. Super relatable video man, this helped :)
I am a sophomore with an Engineering Physics major at this university (The University of Michigan). I’m taking 5 technical classes this semester… I just had my second batch of midterms. This semester has ruined me. I have no time for anything but studying. Even eating is sometimes “not important enough”. I am hoping for some normality to return to my life next semester. It is a stroke of luck finding this video. I wish you well in all that you do Alex. God’s blessings.
I was actually also Engineering Physics until I switched to Interdisciplinary Physics. 401/405 and 351 are rough lol. But I hope things get better for u, and enjoy ur time at Michigan!
I’m still a soph in high school in AP Chem and Physics and I just study the night before to get As with (probably?) average intelligence and not caring for time management lol. That’s insane that the level is that much higher.
@ I agree with this sentiment but so many others in my classes tell me that they are extremely difficult. These people also aspire to pursue STEM at top 30 universities so it makes me worry for their future a bit. It’s also perception. For many, the 2-3 hours of focused studying required may feel like too much if they are used to just doomscrolling on TikTok all day whereas for me I feel glad that only that much time is required to be put into these classes.
You have no idea know how much this will help me. I have been comparing myself to other people for being smart and was wondering if I was really dumb. As an Asian, my family and society have put pressure on me to act a certain way. I have been going to college for almost a year and a half and I have forgotten that I can do other things. I would spend hours on assignments and ignore friends. This perspective is truly what I needed, thank you.
Just signed up for your Patreon. You went through hell and are stronger because of it. You are helping and will help a lot of young people. You’re an inspiration, brother.
We were, and perhaps are, in the same situation, with the exception that I was a math and CS student. This speaks to me on a personal level - I don't know how many kids like us this could've helped if they were able to see this when they just started university. The most important part about this entire process of disassociating your identity with academics - and in a larger scale, conventional success - is acceptance and the inclusion of other, personally meaningful things in your life. I hope with all of my goodwill that this video is able to initiate this process in all those who are able to watch it and are lost. Go blue and take care!
Yeah man, glad that you're better now, and that you see life as something with so much to offer than just one or two things. God bless. Ecclesiastes 1:16-18 👍
As someone who’s also felt very insecure about my intelligence, I deeply sympathize with your experience and thank you for posting something like this. I’m glad there are so many people out there who are going through similar feelings. It makes me feel less alone…. I’ve also had desires to prove to the world that I was some sort of “deep thinker” whilst never feeling like I was good enough. I kinda just chose to study math (with philosophy - and initially physics but disliked it), not because I had a plan or because I was passionate about it, but because I was good at it in school (which was nothing compared to university math), because I didn’t know what else to do, and.... to feel smart; which led to having difficulties with finding the motivation to study. I enjoyed some aspects of math but generally felt lost and without purpose. I also felt like an outsider because all my peers seemed to be smarter and more motivated than I was.... Ended up getting my degree and generally did ok but with mid to mediocre math grades in my last two years. Now I’m taking time off and learning how to code to get a job in IT and also plan to do a conversion Master’s in CS; which makes me feel like I’m finally on a productive path to a life of independence and financial stability. This alone is already motivating. I no longer will go to school simply because I’m told to, to merely pursue academic success on which to base my self worth, and without some idea of my future. We’ll see how this career transition goes…. I wish you all the best and hope your start to a new life works out in the end :)
This video gives me a lot of hope. I've been sick and experiencing a low fever for the past two years, both of which have been incredibly stressful. Tying my self-worth to a single area might be the root of my struggles as well. I'm still a high school student-formerly considered "gifted"-but now in a really bad place mentally. If I can't live up to expectations, I have no backup plans to give me hope and keep me going.
Thank u for sharing this video. The same things happened to me as well, especially in high school. I have had serious mental problems like derealization, depression, panic attacks, chronic tension anxiety neck pain which developed into occipital neuralgia that I'm still dealing with from time to time and it just has decreased the quality of my life so much. I hope I will never get into the same situation ever again. Love from Iran
I can relate so hard to your story and I’m so grateful for your message because it came at a great time. Not asian, but my parents were also very hard on me for my grades as a kid. They are still hard on me occasionally but have loosened up since they see my mental health getting bad. I am currently going for a Physics minor, although not for long. I keep getting sick this semester and burning out hard. Same kind of mental health issues. Between doing Mathematical Physics, Modern Physics and Biochemistry at the same time this semester, I haven’t been doing very well. I get so stressed that my body gives out on me, for example falling asleep while drinking an energy drink. I’ll be excited to burn my grad school level textbook at the end of the semester (since it has every piece of information you could possibly want but no instructions on how to get the information into your head).
Like I mentioned, even if you can't change the external situation you're in, I hope you can figure out some way to find balance and change your self image to one that doesn't have to be tied to academic success. U got this!
Congrats on your progress towards a better life. I did some of the same things in the 1980's and I eventually learned just to learn the skills that make me useful. Some of my classmates wound up as school teachers, wall street quant's, computer science and engineers. Physics does teach you how to solve problems step by step and many people find that hard to learn. It's the skill that made me a success. Good Luck.
Great story Alex! I had a fairly rough start to college. I made it all the way to my junior year as a dual aerospace mechanical engineering major, but ended up graduating with a philosophy degree. Let’s just say I was nudged by my family to pursue engineering. My emotional wellbeing almost broke and decided I needed a change. Philosophy was a mystery to me; it was something fresh and intriguing. The skills I’ve learned studying the ideas of history’s greatest thinkers have benefitted me more than any stem related major would have. It rounded me off and strengthened the mental skills I lacked. That being said, 10 years later I have a stem related career and constantly use the concepts I learned in engineering but I’m a philosopher at heart. In my free time, I’m getting a bachelors in math fully paid for by my employer. I believe it’s wise to pursue the knowledge of what makes a subjectively meaningful life while you’re young. The pieces will fall into place, especially for a bright young man such as yourself. Cheers! Jacob
Thanks for sharing your story. Keep your head up, despite how hard it was, you did pull through. Now you determine your own direction in life. As for careers, quite a few physics majors go into software engineering, so if you are interested you definitely have the math background. I dropped out of a history major to go into ministry and yet I do programming as my day job, so it's something to think about.
Thank you for making this video. I am in my last year of undergrad physics right now, and am struggling a lot with mental health and the sense of meaning in my life. My situation is a bit different, as my motivation for pursuing physics didn't stem from wanting to "show off", but the result is the same... I'm glad to see many other people (both you and so many other commenters here) having a relatable experience
I’m sorry for what happened to you, I don’t like how parents complain and want so much from their children, I had never experienced this before, but I know that is harsh and bad for their kids. Hopefully you recover from your decisions, but I wanted to point out that in my “AP Physics C:Mechanics” class I have encountered people like you, People who wanted to prove how smart their are, but they will probably end up badly as you ended. Physics is a tough class, and anybody who is reading this “DO NOT TAKE IT IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING INTO” please avoid yourself horror assignments and topics unless you are really good at math, some people learn this lesson the hard way, so just a recommendation. Good luck with you life alex, hopefully it becomes better from this point on ❤
This is a genuinely valuable video. Thank you for sharing it as many need to hear it. However, I have to quibble about your word choice. What you experienced was "burning out". "Crashing out" is a different category. Perhaps if you had unalived yourself, it would have fit. You're watering down a term that's better left reserved for different populations. You've got a good head on your shoulders. You don't seem like the type to crash out.
I’m sorry I hear that. You really need to do what’s best for you and what you enjoy the most. Keep pushing forward, and you’ll find what you want to do in life
you are so gold. I was specializing in Physics in high school before, I was good at it, but it was to me 80% of it was to show people I’m smart and 20% of it was that I like what I’m good at and 10% about actually interested in explaining l life via Physics. crazy stuff. And in college, I just said goodbye with it, totally forgot everything, but I still have the same idea in mind of comparing myself to others to see how smart I am, I concluded that I’m so normal, just above average a bit, but I can’t stop doing it. Yet, I’m trying and reminding myself each time, I feel the tendency to show off, to compare, and to doubt my own ability because of “intelligence” or whatever. Thank you, it resonates with me a lot because I grew up in very traditional Asian fam as well.
Loved it bro, as a fellow Asian could definitely resonate with this. I am grateful my parents never pushed me this way but has definitely seen cases like happening all around me within the Asian community here in Australia
@@official_awei Thanks, but my mental health is still horrible, would have been worse had my parents pushed me that way. Glad you got your mental health back on track, it is probably the worst thing that could happen to anyone really
I got a bad SAT and went to a regular/decent college and graduated at the top. So far I have 4 medical school acceptances. His story is anecdotal, and so is mine. You can be whatever you want, it just depends on how badly you want it and how willing you are to work
Current physics (Astro really but it’s so physics heavy it might as well be a physics degree, is what the faculty tells us anyway) sophomore, in arizona no less, and man am I happy to relate but in a much less severe way. I feel the oncoming stress, and I know all the opportunities I’d miss out on with grad school and whatever else if I don’t seriously lock in and become a complete shut in, but I know how unhealthy that is for me. But I also don’t want to feel like I’m bare minimuming my way through it. I feel extremely grateful to have friends and a relatively balanced life between classes but I wanna make sure I’m getting my moneys worth from school yknow. It’s a difficult crossroads for anyone for sure. And me personally I’ve always really enjoyed math and physics, astronomy especially. All incredibly fascinating fields and I’d learn them for free with infinite time on my hands if I could. (Not that im good at them, totally different story lmao) I’m really happy that my nonchalant high school and parents made it so that the shock that is my grades immediately tanking upon reaching college was a lot easier to take. It stings to lose scholarships and opportunities and feel like you’re falling behind your cohorts but it taught me the incredibly important lesson of detaching my self worth from academics much earlier. I feel fortunate to not have to learn something like that the hard way, but it feels like there’s no concrete path for someone who finds that out earlier yknow. I wouldn’t say I feel aimless, but I feel like since I know I’m not putting all my chips into school anymore, all I can really do is try my best healthily and know that even barely passing is enough, and if it all works out, it works out, and if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. That lack of agency is simultaneously very freeing and very concerning. Judging by you though, I’m sure one way or another it’ll all end up working out.
I was never that good in academics, weaseled my way through highschool and bachelor's, always fascinated by physics, but I didn't think it would ever amount to anything. But then, for some reason I decided do my master's... and it was the easiest, most fun, and most satisfied I've been academically. I cannot explain why; I studied as I always have, but for some reason, this time it made a difference.
Loved the video bro. I am thinking about pursuing medicine. Theres not a lot more in this world that i want. I tell myself im willing to lose myself for this career but you put it into perspective thats its rly not possible. I thank you for that. God bless. ❤❤
I resonate with a lot that is said here. I don’t imagine that most people, who devote their life to one thing and forgo most everything else, will lead a happy life. A bit of balance is probably most healthy. Devoting a fair amount of time into your “bread-winning” pursuit, while still saving space for stuff like friendships, stimulating hobbies… I guess it’s hard, when you don’t have the smallest sense of identity, to let go of numbers (grades, test scores, etc.) as measures of your worth. I’m glad you found a space to breathe for a bit, and find yourself. I think a fair amount of us need that, at some point…
I am also a physics major from a top school in Turkey, currently a grad student in the best. I can relate the stress you went through bro. Although I love physics, I figured out that academia is not a good choice for me I guess. Idk how patient a physics major must be. For 4 years, I relieved myself like the stress will pass when I finish undergrad. In grad, the stress is 10x, and I realized I am ruining myself. Respect man, you have some balls to say fuck it. Hope I can get the mindset to priortize myself.
I struggled a long time with music and playing the saxophone in high school. In high school the pressure got so intense to be good that I couldn’t sleep and had extreme anxiety. I could somewhat keep up the mirage but it was so hard on me. I think it really ruined my mental health. Later I got a girlfriend… and I completely dropped the mirage and also just said “I don’t care”. I was much happier. And eventually quit saxophone. I’m now in another cycle… years later of being in a top company job where I’m feeling challenged and just simply not that interested. But because it’s such a prestigious job, it’s hard for me to let go. Thanks for sharing this.
You hit with me home when you talked about being sick in sophomore year. I was the same way, and it got me into a car crash. I was tired, major was undecided, and I was taking class not knowing what was doing; being so miserable. I 100% agree that chances are, the root causes to the sickness is our mental health and well-being. I noticed that and as a result, I am living a better life because of it; rarely got sick afterwords.
I have a friend that had a similar situation at school and just after she dropped out , she started to heal both mentally and physically, its great you listened to your body and realized it’s more important to be ok rather than to have an amazing job or amazing career but be miserable for the stress around it.
Im studying "pure" mathematics at university and im in basically in the exact same position you were, i entered the field because i was insecure and wanted the admiration of others and now im struggling to pass my courses ( math is genuinely a fun subject but it feels like im just not smart enough for the subject + it feels like im procrastinating bc i see no future for myself here)
such an important story dude! i always feel the need to try my absolute hardest on things and i get very stressed about little details, but this a great reminder to prioritize what really matters.
i wanted to do physics because its beautiful, the theory the math its all beutiful you remind me of a friend i think hes in the same spot as you were in a couple years ago, with the current trajectory im going in i wont be able to study the physics i want to do. Im settling for becoming an electrical engineer with a math major hopefully land a 3 day a week job so i can focus on math and physics that matter to me. We all must adjust and adapt with our current circumstances peace and love brother.
Man I wish I had learned as quickly as you. I studied electrical engineering and was constantly anxious about not doing well and my mental health wwas not good for most of my undergraduate. But I thought that if I just tried harder and did better my anxiety would go away. It did kind of get better at the end but several years later I had another huge anxiety attack that lasted for months and was really bad. I think it happened because I had never had my crash out moment where I realised what I was doing wrong that lead to poor mental health, and I was terrified of it happening again. Now at 27 I'm learning to rebuild my identity as well. Much love everyone
very relatable man , i'm dealing myself with parents who refuse to associate any kind of success in life outside of college i do not like the modules i have to go through in college nor the people i have to encounter everyday i hope you make videos about how you reached financial freedom through freelance because that would be much more inspiring
@@official_awei brother sincerly thank you for those kind of videos its the types of videos that show you that you are not alone in this struggle and that many people just want to live on their own terms not societal's and believe or not today i just dropped out of college lol and my parents are in shock
Thanks for voicing what's been on my mind. i'm thinking between physics and medicine, and it was important for me to hear your story because actually my motivation for applying for a bachelors in physics is silly and emotional - just to prove to myself that i'm smart enough.
Freshman here, and though I am not pursuing a Physics major, i sure am rethinking my choice of studying at college in general. The insecurity about your own intellect and academics part hits close to home as well…
I initially began my junior year feeling this way. My chronic stress manifested itself into physical pain and numbness. One of the worst feelings ever. I would wake up stressed and sweating. Thanks for sharing your story.
I completely understand your frustration. I flunked out of UCLA in my junior year majoring in physics. Five years later I got my masters degree in physics at another university Cal State Northridge because it was more suited to me and because I was determined to succeed at physics. My son got his degrees in physics and astronomy from Berkeley and finished his PhD at U of Hawaii where he got a chance to use the Keck I telescope for 3 weeks as the principal investigator. During his high school years I made sure he did his homework but didn’t force him into physics, only telling him physics is hard but told him don’t give up when it does get hard. To my surprise he did very well as an undergraduate. Today he is an astronomer at the Large Binocular Telescope in Tucson. So my point is that it is completely a state of mind - where there is a will, there is a way. But on the other hand, life is full of other possibilities- don’t be afraid to explore. Best wishes to you.
I am currently a high school senior and hope to get into college to study physics. However, I have been doubting if that would make me happy. I love physics and genuinely have a passion for it because I like space so much, but I can't ever see myself dedicating my whole life to academia. I used to be insecure about my intelligence because I would barely pass class, but now I couldn't care less about my average grades in college physics because it's a tough subject. What also helped was the realization I am one of 18 out of 1600 kids at my school taking Physics 2, so I was far from inadequate to the majority of people. Comparison means nothing when there are people who take on-level courses and live much happier and more fulfilled than me. I just want to be stable by doing something I like before I can quit and do my real passions which are art and game development...
Totally get it. I also think physics is fascinating, but not enough for me to want to dedicate my entire life to academics. Hope u can find something that aligns with your passions eventually!
well I'll say a few things.... 1: You're here and you're doing better than before so that's a blessing. I'm a freshman in college studying computer science and I feel the imposter syndrome, always wanting to be different and better but I'm starting to lose track of myself to an extent. so thank you for sharing. 2: everyone's situation is unique to them and that's the beauty of being able to relate in terms of emotion. anyone that sees this, remember that you're not alone and that Jesus Christ Loves you.
Sometimes you need a break to sort yourself out. After graduating high school, it took me 5 years to figure out that i wanted to actually continue my education instead of just working. Those 5 years that i spent working, prepared me to actually go to school i think, because i wouldve flunked out if i went straight from high school. Not everyone has the traditional path you see on social media, and chances are, those people's live are messed up too, you just can't see it.
Hey Alex, Thank you for sharing your story. It must have been hell going through that, but it is amazing that you managed to accomplish so much. It takes a lot of effort to recognise and self reflect, it takes a strong person to accept the truth and make a change for themselves even if that change may seem frightening at first. I admire you for that inner strength you exhibited. Keep on going!! Hope you channel grows and you earned a new subscriber!
This resonates with me. I chose engineering because people always treat me like I'm an idiot and I wanted to prove them wrong. Now I'm halfway through and I wish I had chosen something that works with my hands, like carpentry or botany.
Hey man I never comment on vids but as someone who went down ur EXACT path up to the end of college i feel you. Ive been out for like 6 years and now im chillin in Japan teaching English and its pretty cool. Ambition is great and all but ambition informed by judgement by others is a no-fly zone. Also pretty cool that u had the courage to drive across the country and that ur doin YT, much luck out there, it doesnt get easier 🫰
hey you are young, it's ok to figure things out, not everybody is meant to follow the same path. Luckily we live in a country where second chances are easy to get, especially for talented individuals. You will be fine.
Im currently a junior at UIUC studying engineering physics and computer engineering and in many ways I relate to your video and your experiences. I came into college trying to be as competitive as I can since Grainger college of engineering is one of the top engineering schools in the country let alone our physics program and computer engineering program. Ever since I was a kid I've always aspired to become a physicist or study it in college which is why I'm still here but actually being here and doing it now, I feel, to an extent, the same way that you feel. Studying for all these exams and whatnot just to get a good grade and for what? Grad school mostly cares about what experiences you've had in undergrad (ie internships, research, etc) and same thing with jobs. You don't have to be summa cum laude just to prove a point or "guarantee" yourself success in research or industry. I try to make the best use of my time but I feel like Im constantly behind in not only my academics but also doing the "experience" part as well. I am yet to land an internship or research opportunity because I've been just overwhelmed and drowning with the workload of my classes alone. The only thing I do have to make up for all this is that I've made so many friends since I started college that the networking is the only edge I'd have if I go into industry or anything else. To be frank, I love my majors and show insane interest in them and really am banking on the versatility of my degrees to land me a job that I am interested in and can put my heart and soul into. But I can't help but just panic at the face of competition and seeing my friends have so many internship and research opportunities while I'm just sitting here still stuck on the first step of sorting myself out. I'm just getting by in class and admittedly do above average most times even though I am "faking it till you make it" with assignments and projects done last minute, cramming the night before the exam, not going to any lectures since attendance isn't mandatory, and I just feel like Im walking on the edge of a cliff just moments away from falling off and crashing down. I promise myself that "next semester I'll be ahead of all my classes and go to all lectures and have a better schedule" but it's been 5 semesters now and that promise hasn't been fulfilled. Every semester I seem to have difficulties that hinder me from doing so: from breakups, to registering for classes weeks into the semester, to just having awful mental health and stress, this is honestly getting too much. I try to make the best of it that I can and try to be happy, but I will be quite honest that I don't know how to keep pushing myself and I am terrified that I can't land the jobs and opportunities that I want later in life for me to reach my vision of success. If anyone reads this, thank you and I always am open for constructive criticism or tips.
Lmao this video pop up after I drop out of my physics degree and op for a math degree instead 😢. The thing is I did my first and second year of physics during covid so it's indefinitely worst. I was at the lowest point in my life at the end of the second year. So I had to do something before it spirals out of control. It has been over 2 years since then, looking back right now if I didn't change I would probably still so miserable. I have lost weight, eat healthier, actively seeking friendships, my depression is generally in control. So I would say it has been the best decision ever. Stay healthy and hope you remain that way ❤🎉
psychology major here, you're absolutely correct on the mental health affecting you physically. unconscious conflicts accumulate in the psyche and get discharged into physical illnesses. im glad you were able to get through it! happy for you :)
I don't have exact same story as you but it's pretty similar. I am stuck doing a engineering degree I do not like for my immigrant father. I have to spend an extra year at another college I was forced to transfer to (top 20 public school, not quite as impressive, same conference however). It genuinely sucks and I have made no friends here. What helps is that even though now my gpa is shit, I know that my worth is not my intelligence, it's how I treat people and how I can help others. I think that's excellent advice. It's good to see you have found a light at the end of tunnel man. Maybe I will find my own.
obviously you shouldnt base your self worth on any of your characteristcs but more importantly, gpa isnt related to intelligence at all. imagine smartest person ever. now imagine a car. now smash them. do you think they will be able to keep up their gpa? no. because they wont be able to study(i assume it was fatal) if you think this is controversial, i dont think general intelligence exists at all. no one is faster to learn anything simply because they were born that way. if they have experience with similar concepts they will connect new concepte better and faster. not because they always could, we all born incapable of understanding we have shitten.
From a person in her 30s who " studied what they loved" though, I wish I has done a peofitable degree like engineering even if I didnt care for it. I do not need much mk ey but when rent and unemployment are constant concerns you just feel miserable all the time. Life sucks. Of my former clademates most got deoressed or changed carreer and got depressed. The onlh exception was the lne who married rich. Friends who studied engineering are hapoy, not terrified about poverty, and still enjoy hobbies. Do not underestimate the good life a degree you dont lile mjch can give
I’m a pre-med biochemistry major with a minor in other sciences and I completely feel this to heart. I’m also Arab so I completely understand the push towards academics and not prioritizing my overall health
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NO SUCH THING as right reasons to do anything. People do things and then for whatever reason they leave things and move on to other things .
Glad I found this video. Engineering freshman right now and I’m also depressed as hell. Came here ambitious but now feel overwhelmed on how I’m gonna finish this and apply for a good grad school or even a job if my GPA is already ass in one of the easier semesters of this degree. I’ve never felt like this bad of a loser my entire life, but unlike you I don’t even do anything about it like studying hard to overcome this. Instead, everytime a ay before an exam, I’m in my room ti study, but I feel so fucking depressed and paralyzed as if I’ve already failed. Idk why, because I know that if I study throughout this entire time I can get a decent grade, but for whatever multitude of reasons thats not what I do, and its messed up. I’m hoping for a miracle at this point that things get better, cuz its not even that I hate engineering or have some other real passions, I do want this degree but there are so many stresses in my life as a busy university student and I feel so misunderstood and unspported (I literally use ChatGPT for therapy) like you talk about, except that my parents are not as harsh and I may even transfer to a different university and start freshman year again, but thats a situation I’m not really that certain about and I don’t know what I can do from here. thought university would be a time of transformation and a fresh start from the hell I’ve been through in highschool, but its kind of like a fancier but even harsher repeat. My mental and physical health as also only gotten worse since I started this and I don’t know the way forward. Only time will tell I guess
Its a difficult thing to go through all that, discover your self worth and reverse these conditionings that you had to go through your entire life from your parents and society. Thats super brave and I’m very proud of you for that. Hope you find peace
As a physics major, I had my “wanna be genius” phase…I crashed and burned exactly like this. Best thing ever.
It's crazy to hear how u and so many others here in the comments have such a similar story
This is starting with me right now.
I feel like I got lucky and skipped that phase. I had a near death experience instead and when I woke up realized that my everything is meaningless and physics could provide meaning to the black abyss of me.
It's almost like a lot of people want to study physics to become another Einstein.
As a graduated physics major, I still immensely enjoyed all sorts of physics related topics, it's just that I no longer take fun out of the equation.
Well I'm currently in that phase😞
Beautiful story brother. Deserves to be heard and spread.
Thank you for the kind words!
The "insecurity in my own intelligence" really resonated with me. Everything I did up until now, I did because of of it.
And yes, it was stupid.
Relateable. Im black not asian but its the same tree different color. High pressure to succeed strong identification with academics, top school, study physics burnout then try again. I liked physics but had a warped view of it and what it was /what i could do-- it wasnt worth the mental health so i switched majors junior/senior year and then left school. Happy you got to step back from that and live your life. Physical, mental and emotional health>>> Career or white collar job so hope things are goin well for you and that you are able to engage both the ups and the downs well!!
Very well said. Thanks for the insight, and I hope switching was also a good decision for you
@official_awei honestly the best decision was leaving all together to find my vision -- i ended up travelig the world, starting a business then finishing school during the pandemo, (after traveling and beginning to build a business) and when i finished my degree (in math/statistics) it was on my terms. I solve problems meaningful to me now and never looked back -- excited to see someone also taking a journey of reflection, inspiring stuff hope it truly goes well for you!!
Nah man, you'll be alright.
Nah. He'd win.
Bro did NOT watch the video
"it is what it is" type ahh
I'm a physics major, I ended up so sad and beaten up after I finished college, searching for work now is so difficult if all you did was to study a lot of quantum mechanics and mathematics that any industry is interested in, I'm so lost right now, thanks for sharing your experience, you help me to feel less alone in this mess
Whatever field you end up working in, your physics degree will prove how capable you are.
I'm a high schooler from Japan and everyone's mentality towards academic success, is like that. It's so f cking depressing bro. I've actually been thinking about studying physics in college, but I've also started to think like maybe, I'm not genuinely passionate about it. Maybe like u, i just wanna prove my intelligence to others or have romanticized studying it. I'm in 11th year and have +1 year to still decide what to major in, so I'll make most of that time, thank u for sharing ur story
Hi, as someone from a similar educational system (Taiwan), if you felt genuinely thrilled when solving difficult mathematical physics problems on paper sheet, as it feels profoundly meaningful, regardless of how others think of it (because once you’re in university there will always be people solving more difficult problems than you and solving them will be taken granted) then doing physics will be perfect for you.
Otherwise, do the thing you find lowkey embarrassing but enjoy doing it for a prolonged time.
I took my vainglorious journey far and took SAT to study physics in Europe for three years to find out that I genuinely don’t like it, what I like is telling people I do it, so that it appears my future is bright and I’m a high valued 理科person.
@chianchen776 that's interesting 😊
@chianchen776 調子はどうですか
Come to the US. No Asian Self Destruct feature here... Except from your wise wise parents
I'm the same but in America. Although not as competitive the stakes for academics is very high, everyone wants to be better, and it's sad how much people waste their lives for a letter . I wanna get into engineering but I'm starting to doubt if I'd want to spend my entire life in that industry, one more year and then there's no return
Dude I just love physics and math. That’s why I want my degree. Just started my AS at community college. If I can get a job then cool, but I just love it, so much. It gives me purpose.
If you love it, then go for it
Yes, please keep going if you love it that much. I also love them to a degree which words can't describe. If you get a job in some other field, continue learning them as a hobby. It gives immense satisfaction to learn something which you have been dying to know.
Thats awesome man. Passion is one of the greatest things in life.
Just learn it online. College is a scam and is not even good at teach trust me I know
@@anonanon7553 bro what? ☠how?
This is inspiring man. I think one of the most powerful takeaways is that you went through all that and you're still here with us and both mentally and physically stronger. I think that more than proves that at this juncture of life, you can outdo any problem thrown at your way, I mean you already went through a time that I imagine was hell but you still being here and just simply telling your story already speaks of victory and I think that outshines any academic validation you ever got. I mean think about it in order for the rabbit to tell us about how it escaped the lion, means it lived to outdo the odds and the situation, hence giving us its story.
Thanks man, you're another wonder we can speak about, a champion.
Appreciate the kind words!
You are not alone. My situation is very similar to yours right now. I also chose a subject for a motivation similar to yours and got into one of the best universities in my country. I believe the most important thing in studying is a genuine interest in what you are learning. When you are interested, you have the motivation to do homework, prepare for exams, and study the subject. Otherwise, it will be impossible to keep up, especially in high-level colleges/universities. Right now, I am planning to leave university because I know this path will lead me nowhere. I wish you all the best in your new life.
Переведи на русский
I agree full-heartedly. The crash out stemmed from a lack of true passion in physics. If he had that passion and genuine interest, I believe it would've been less draining for him to study the subject while he was in college.
Hey, I relate so badly to this video. You’ve been through a lot brother, I’m glad you made it through. Health is truly #1. As an asian in Singapore, it’s super stressful here too. Our entire life is built up on academic success and financial success and honestly I went through and am still going through the same problems as you. I have CFS and severe panic disorder and agoraphobia developed from complications due to academic stress. At one point, I nearly jumped off a train but someone caught me. I didn’t sleep for months too. Everyday I would wake up and pop many different pills just to barely make it through the day. Now I’m still suffering but I figured that all these physical and mental symptoms have a cause, which is stress - whether be it from school or a job. We’re gonna make it one day and get back to full health and happiness, I really really believe. I graduated top of my year from one of the best schools but now I’m struggling to stay afloat in university. I’m thinking of just quitting it all and doing a simple job like a barista or something lol. It’s honestly hilarious how it got to this point 😂 f societal expectations lol. Stay strong 💪🏻
I am a physics major right now in my undergrad during my sophmore year. I hope to go into engineering and possibly work for a space program. There have been incredibly rough moments during my sophmore year. There have been moments where my mind kept screaming at me to just give up because the stress was too much. However, I got a really good grade in my physics class at the end of all the stress, and I feel confident about my classes in the future. I told myself not to give up because I will never know who I truly am if I do not go into a field that I am passionate about. The important thing is to just push through no matter how much it hurts. There will be good moments and bad moments. There were times where I felt that I was too stupid to get involved in physics and math, and there were times that I thought I was wrong about that. I plan on pushing through and aiming towards a masters in electrical engineering. I enjoyed your video very much. Have a good day.
I’m a senior physics undergrad and I found out (at least in Canada) you cant work as an engineer unless you have a bachelors in engineering so my plan to do Engineering Physics has changed slightly. With a masters in engineering you can still work as a research “engineer” but you can’t be the guy who stamps things. (Though I know Canada is more strict than most countries on this front)
Also if I can comfort you, I did a big crash and burn after my sophomore year (2020) and I took a couple years doing manual labour making some money cus I used to think I was a genius and after I failed a physics course it made me feel like an idiot and I had never really faced failure like that before in my life. I came back to it, Junior and Senior year are easier and the profs are friendlier and the routine is familiar (At my uni everyone agrees they mark more generously). I always tell people physics is not as hard as they think it is, it’s mostly the “mind-bending” aspect that is draining I think?
❤❤❤ I told my college son study what you want and make you happy. Mental health is the more important thing. I send you a hug. You are a wonderful person.
I dropped out of my master's in physics 8 years ago, because of a breakup (my first girlfriend at the time), I almost died afterwards because I fell into a severe depression, being unemployed, I spent most of my time in my room, and one day I had caught a nasty flu or rather something related to the lungs, which made me stay in bed for like 2 weeks. Tbh I had the force to stand up but I just didn't want to because I was very depressed, and that just destroyed my whole body. I still can't fathom what exactly happened, maybe it was the sudden weight loss, but it started a demonic spiral, my whole body began aching, especially in my back, from the very moment I woke up and all day, and it lasted for a whole year like that. Fortunately my parents weren't that severe with me and they reached out to help me as they could, but I could see that I was seen as a failure for staying at home without anything to do for months and nothing to even aim at.
My physical health deteriorated to the point where it became a wake up call, though. The whole social situation began to fade in the back as I was just fearing literally for my life for a while. I just wanted to escape this daily torture and I found an escape after applying and being accepted in some software engineering conversion program. At the time those conversion bootcamps were very new here in France so I jumped in one and slowly but surely, that's how I managed to regain some health, both mentally and physically.
Some would say that it's not the best outcome, and software engineering is also known for generating burnouts, but my experience after dropping out was so traumatizing that I just felt lucky to be in the race again. I sometimes feel like my whole journey in physics was just a waste of time, but in reality it helped me a ton, especially for learning pretty much anything.
It could have been way worse.
I can't really relate with the toxic social pressure coming from parents, mine were not that toxic and tyrannical.
However I did feel the pressure not to disappoint them, and I fell into the trap of emprisoning my identity within the cage of these studies. Without these studies I wasn't worth anything, at least that's how I pictured myself, and I had to lose it all to realize that I could rebuild myself up from scratch without it.
Wow thanks for sharing ur story, glad to hear u made it out and I hope things are well nowadays
hope your doing better now!
I hope you have a better future so Neve will give up stop depression and use as a tool for your previous failure
This video really resonated with me. I’m in CS right now, and the pressure to keep up with tough math like calculus has been weighing on me and the thought of doing more math classes just isn't for me. I’ve been so focused on grades and school because of financial pressures since fasfa is covering me since I'm low income, but there's more to life than just academics. I’ve been trying to remind myself that doing my best is enough and to focus more on losing weight and hitting the gym for my health, and not to burn myself out with school. Your story really strengthened my resolve to switch my major to IT with a focus on game development. I still love tech, and the change feels like a better balance for my well-being and also because it's something I'm genially interested in. Thanks for sharing your journey
It's good to realize you're only human and are more than the sum of your accomplishments or grades...
I'm glad you're doing better!
I can relate. You just described my Asian parents when I was growing up. Their number one strict rule for their kids going to college was to study natural sciences, therefore, I was prohibited from going to art school. To make a long story short, I majored in chemistry and minored in physics. I only completed because there was no other choice but to finish school with good grades. I'm happy for you for finding your way to much improved well being. Keep up the remarkable efforts.
Thanks, and I hope u are finding ur way as well!
Lol at the moment I’m the same way: a major in chemistry and a minor in physics. My parents loosened up on me so I’ll drop the minor and focus my efforts on the majors.
I resonate with this so much. After I got rejected into medical school I chose physics for the exact reasons you state.
This is so relatable. I come from a whole different culture and studied in a whole different continent but my experience was similar. Thanks for sharing, it feels good to know you are not the only one.
This is my favorite video I’ve ever watched on RUclips. I’ve watched a lot of them
Means a lot man!
you made the right decision, a very intelligent one, realizing all these things early is great. Better now than realizing it later like a lot of us ...
In a massive study following the lives of thousands of volunteers conducted by harvard, the things they most often regretted before dying were working too much, not spending enough time with family, etc. The things they were the most proud of were the families and relationships they made, not business success, vanity, or wealth.
So happy to see you looking out for yourself and the ones you love. This is a good lesson to learn and it will serve you well.
I had my Master's degree in Cambridge, and came to a point of suffering that is beyond explanation. Like you said, I wasn't able to enjoy anything else in life including travelling with my girlfriend because the school was the only thing I could think of, like it's so ridiculous. I noticed that I developed this sense of toxic nostalgia where months later I would remember memories from those intense moments and think that I would miss them, but I think all I missed was each of those opportunities to be present in those moments, and I would feel a sense of regret over these moments. For me the most difficult part in the degree was the absolute lack of support with anything. Most work was online reading and we didn't really have lectures either, and we weren't even allowed to talk much to each other becuase they said it could lead to plagiarism through idea sharing... Like quite literally I was completely alone and was cut out intentionally by the school. I really have no idea how I managed to do research and write my thesis. I think I was so afraid of failure that deep in my mind the only option other than success was to end my life because I thought after wasting all that work that wpuld be the only thing left to do. By the way I don't know how it is in the us but in the uk I had to finish the degree in time or fail completely, not like in european countries where you can just fail classes and retake them next semester. I think it was this fear that activated a sort of auto-pilot in my system and I kind of unconsciously went through the most process. The day i finished everything was like the end of the LOTR where Frodo and Sam lie down and pass out, or where Gandalf takes the king of Rohan out of spell and he comes back to life...
This is exactly my situation rn at UC Berkeley! Love the candor and hopefully it gets better
Thanks for posting this. I am taking Engineering Physics 1 right now as a Senior (high school) at a community college along with the lab, Calculus 1, Spanish IV, Aerobic Conditioning (PE Credit), and 2 choirs. I bombed my last Physics test along with getting an 82 on the last Calc exam, and I have a similar thing where I feel overall lethargic almost all the time, or even nauseous sometimes. I am trying to find my way and what I wanna do, but I have barely enough time to breathe. Super relatable video man, this helped :)
Glad it helped, hope things turn out alright! Health is always the most important
I am a sophomore with an Engineering Physics major at this university (The University of Michigan).
I’m taking 5 technical classes this semester…
I just had my second batch of midterms.
This semester has ruined me. I have no time for anything but studying. Even eating is sometimes “not important enough”. I am hoping for some normality to return to my life next semester.
It is a stroke of luck finding this video.
I wish you well in all that you do Alex.
God’s blessings.
I was actually also Engineering Physics until I switched to Interdisciplinary Physics. 401/405 and 351 are rough lol. But I hope things get better for u, and enjoy ur time at Michigan!
Bro im in CS but felt this to the core with Calc 2, DSA, Uni Physics 2. At least turkey day is soon
I’m still a soph in high school in AP Chem and Physics and I just study the night before to get As with (probably?) average intelligence and not caring for time management lol. That’s insane that the level is that much higher.
@@xum0007Ap chem and physics aren’t difficult at all, if you put a little time in you can get a good grade
@ I agree with this sentiment but so many others in my classes tell me that they are extremely difficult. These people also aspire to pursue STEM at top 30 universities so it makes me worry for their future a bit. It’s also perception. For many, the 2-3 hours of focused studying required may feel like too much if they are used to just doomscrolling on TikTok all day whereas for me I feel glad that only that much time is required to be put into these classes.
You have no idea know how much this will help me. I have been comparing myself to other people for being smart and was wondering if I was really dumb. As an Asian, my family and society have put pressure on me to act a certain way. I have been going to college for almost a year and a half and I have forgotten that I can do other things. I would spend hours on assignments and ignore friends. This perspective is truly what I needed, thank you.
Of course, I'm glad this is making a difference
Just signed up for your Patreon. You went through hell and are stronger because of it. You are helping and will help a lot of young people. You’re an inspiration, brother.
Very relatable man take it easy and cherish yourself, glad to see you're seeing a new path for yourself
We were, and perhaps are, in the same situation, with the exception that I was a math and CS student. This speaks to me on a personal level - I don't know how many kids like us this could've helped if they were able to see this when they just started university.
The most important part about this entire process of disassociating your identity with academics - and in a larger scale, conventional success - is acceptance and the inclusion of other, personally meaningful things in your life. I hope with all of my goodwill that this video is able to initiate this process in all those who are able to watch it and are lost.
Go blue and take care!
Yeah man, glad that you're better now, and that you see life as something with so much to offer than just one or two things. God bless. Ecclesiastes 1:16-18 👍
Thank you for sharing your experience.
Good story my friend I'm the opposite I work construction and studying physics on my own time really makes the world easier to understand 😊
As someone who’s also felt very insecure about my intelligence, I deeply sympathize with your experience and thank you for posting something like this. I’m glad there are so many people out there who are going through similar feelings. It makes me feel less alone….
I’ve also had desires to prove to the world that I was some sort of “deep thinker” whilst never feeling like I was good enough. I kinda just chose to study math (with philosophy - and initially physics but disliked it), not because I had a plan or because I was passionate about it, but because I was good at it in school (which was nothing compared to university math), because I didn’t know what else to do, and.... to feel smart; which led to having difficulties with finding the motivation to study.
I enjoyed some aspects of math but generally felt lost and without purpose. I also felt like an outsider because all my peers seemed to be smarter and more motivated than I was.... Ended up getting my degree and generally did ok but with mid to mediocre math grades in my last two years. Now I’m taking time off and learning how to code to get a job in IT and also plan to do a conversion Master’s in CS; which makes me feel like I’m finally on a productive path to a life of independence and financial stability. This alone is already motivating. I no longer will go to school simply because I’m told to, to merely pursue academic success on which to base my self worth, and without some idea of my future. We’ll see how this career transition goes….
I wish you all the best and hope your start to a new life works out in the end :)
Wow thanks for sharing your story and glad you can relate... I'm sure that your career transition will go well!
@@official_awei Hey thanks for responding and the kind wishes! This kind of thing usually doesn't happen on this website lol
Thanks for sharing! It's awesome to see how self-aware and honest you are.
This video gives me a lot of hope. I've been sick and experiencing a low fever for the past two years, both of which have been incredibly stressful. Tying my self-worth to a single area might be the root of my struggles as well. I'm still a high school student-formerly considered "gifted"-but now in a really bad place mentally. If I can't live up to expectations, I have no backup plans to give me hope and keep me going.
Thank u for sharing this video. The same things happened to me as well, especially in high school. I have had serious mental problems like derealization, depression, panic attacks, chronic tension anxiety neck pain which developed into occipital neuralgia that I'm still dealing with from time to time and it just has decreased the quality of my life so much. I hope I will never get into the same situation ever again. Love from Iran
Thank you so much for making this video.This concerns many, but few would open up about it.
I can relate so hard to your story and I’m so grateful for your message because it came at a great time. Not asian, but my parents were also very hard on me for my grades as a kid. They are still hard on me occasionally but have loosened up since they see my mental health getting bad. I am currently going for a Physics minor, although not for long. I keep getting sick this semester and burning out hard. Same kind of mental health issues. Between doing Mathematical Physics, Modern Physics and Biochemistry at the same time this semester, I haven’t been doing very well. I get so stressed that my body gives out on me, for example falling asleep while drinking an energy drink. I’ll be excited to burn my grad school level textbook at the end of the semester (since it has every piece of information you could possibly want but no instructions on how to get the information into your head).
Like I mentioned, even if you can't change the external situation you're in, I hope you can figure out some way to find balance and change your self image to one that doesn't have to be tied to academic success. U got this!
Congrats on your progress towards a better life. I did some of the same things in the 1980's and I eventually learned just to learn the skills that make me useful. Some of my classmates wound up as school teachers, wall street quant's, computer science and engineers. Physics does teach you how to solve problems step by step and many people find that hard to learn. It's the skill that made me a success. Good Luck.
Great story Alex!
I had a fairly rough start to college. I made it all the way to my junior year as a dual aerospace mechanical engineering major, but ended up graduating with a philosophy degree. Let’s just say I was nudged by my family to pursue engineering.
My emotional wellbeing almost broke and decided I needed a change. Philosophy was a mystery to me; it was something fresh and intriguing. The skills I’ve learned studying the ideas of history’s greatest thinkers have benefitted me more than any stem related major would have. It rounded me off and strengthened the mental skills I lacked. That being said, 10 years later I have a stem related career and constantly use the concepts I learned in engineering but I’m a philosopher at heart. In my free time, I’m getting a bachelors in math fully paid for by my employer.
I believe it’s wise to pursue the knowledge of what makes a subjectively meaningful life while you’re young. The pieces will fall into place, especially for a bright young man such as yourself.
Cheers!
Jacob
This story and this topic are so important. Great video
This video is very inspiring! Wishing you all the best man
Thanks, wishing u all the best as well
Thanks for sharing your story. Keep your head up, despite how hard it was, you did pull through. Now you determine your own direction in life.
As for careers, quite a few physics majors go into software engineering, so if you are interested you definitely have the math background.
I dropped out of a history major to go into ministry and yet I do programming as my day job, so it's something to think about.
Thanks for sharing ur story as well, glad u were also able to find something new
Thanks for explaining your journey Alex! All the best for your future endeavours.
I love the honesty. I wish you well.
Thank you for making this video. I am in my last year of undergrad physics right now, and am struggling a lot with mental health and the sense of meaning in my life. My situation is a bit different, as my motivation for pursuing physics didn't stem from wanting to "show off", but the result is the same... I'm glad to see many other people (both you and so many other commenters here) having a relatable experience
I’m sorry for what happened to you, I don’t like how parents complain and want so much from their children, I had never experienced this before, but I know that is harsh and bad for their kids. Hopefully you recover from your decisions, but I wanted to point out that in my “AP Physics C:Mechanics” class I have encountered people like you, People who wanted to prove how smart their are, but they will probably end up badly as you ended. Physics is a tough class, and anybody who is reading this “DO NOT TAKE IT IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING INTO” please avoid yourself horror assignments and topics unless you are really good at math, some people learn this lesson the hard way, so just a recommendation.
Good luck with you life alex, hopefully it becomes better from this point on ❤
This is a genuinely valuable video. Thank you for sharing it as many need to hear it. However, I have to quibble about your word choice. What you experienced was "burning out".
"Crashing out" is a different category. Perhaps if you had unalived yourself, it would have fit. You're watering down a term that's better left reserved for different populations.
You've got a good head on your shoulders. You don't seem like the type to crash out.
I’m sorry I hear that. You really need to do what’s best for you and what you enjoy the most. Keep pushing forward, and you’ll find what you want to do in life
you are so gold. I was specializing in Physics in high school before, I was good at it, but it was to me 80% of it was to show people I’m smart and 20% of it was that I like what I’m good at and 10% about actually interested in explaining l life via Physics. crazy stuff. And in college, I just said goodbye with it, totally forgot everything, but I still have the same idea in mind of comparing myself to others to see how smart I am, I concluded that I’m so normal, just above average a bit, but I can’t stop doing it. Yet, I’m trying and reminding myself each time, I feel the tendency to show off, to compare, and to doubt my own ability because of “intelligence” or whatever. Thank you, it resonates with me a lot because I grew up in very traditional Asian fam as well.
Good luck! I hope you succeed in life.
U too!
Loved it bro, as a fellow Asian could definitely resonate with this. I am grateful my parents never pushed me this way but has definitely seen cases like happening all around me within the Asian community here in Australia
Glad u didn't have to go through it
@@official_awei Thanks, but my mental health is still horrible, would have been worse had my parents pushed me that way. Glad you got your mental health back on track, it is probably the worst thing that could happen to anyone really
@@陈晰然Take his compliment!
Damn , this this so relatable. U just literally described my own personal experience. I hope u are doing good now
I appreciate sharing your story man, you share an important message!
Great insights. It is ok to be average if you are studying physics in undergrad. Prioritize your health and social life. Life is long
You got a perfect score on SAT....and crashed out....I don't think i can even get close to that. Then what am I gonna become ?💀💀💀
do whatever you like dont feel pressured by your parents or society to become a "college graduate"
I agree however what i want to do is very difficult and I'm barely getting by high school maths and high school physics....
I got a bad SAT and went to a regular/decent college and graduated at the top. So far I have 4 medical school acceptances. His story is anecdotal, and so is mine. You can be whatever you want, it just depends on how badly you want it and how willing you are to work
@joshwilson7008 you're right
wishing u the best bro im glad your better
Glad you're doing better. Thanks for sharing your story.
I'm still in college but relate to this story so much, thanks for this video.
Mature and profound insights. Really nice.
Current physics (Astro really but it’s so physics heavy it might as well be a physics degree, is what the faculty tells us anyway) sophomore, in arizona no less, and man am I happy to relate but in a much less severe way. I feel the oncoming stress, and I know all the opportunities I’d miss out on with grad school and whatever else if I don’t seriously lock in and become a complete shut in, but I know how unhealthy that is for me. But I also don’t want to feel like I’m bare minimuming my way through it. I feel extremely grateful to have friends and a relatively balanced life between classes but I wanna make sure I’m getting my moneys worth from school yknow. It’s a difficult crossroads for anyone for sure. And me personally I’ve always really enjoyed math and physics, astronomy especially. All incredibly fascinating fields and I’d learn them for free with infinite time on my hands if I could. (Not that im good at them, totally different story lmao) I’m really happy that my nonchalant high school and parents made it so that the shock that is my grades immediately tanking upon reaching college was a lot easier to take. It stings to lose scholarships and opportunities and feel like you’re falling behind your cohorts but it taught me the incredibly important lesson of detaching my self worth from academics much earlier. I feel fortunate to not have to learn something like that the hard way, but it feels like there’s no concrete path for someone who finds that out earlier yknow. I wouldn’t say I feel aimless, but I feel like since I know I’m not putting all my chips into school anymore, all I can really do is try my best healthily and know that even barely passing is enough, and if it all works out, it works out, and if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. That lack of agency is simultaneously very freeing and very concerning. Judging by you though, I’m sure one way or another it’ll all end up working out.
I was never that good in academics, weaseled my way through highschool and bachelor's, always fascinated by physics, but I didn't think it would ever amount to anything. But then, for some reason I decided do my master's... and it was the easiest, most fun, and most satisfied I've been academically. I cannot explain why; I studied as I always have, but for some reason, this time it made a difference.
Glad things changed for the better!
Loved the video bro. I am thinking about pursuing medicine. Theres not a lot more in this world that i want. I tell myself im willing to lose myself for this career but you put it into perspective thats its rly not possible. I thank you for that. God bless. ❤❤
If it's truly ur passion, they by all means go for it! But if not, it's also okay to choose a different path... Best of luck on ur journey
I resonate with a lot that is said here.
I don’t imagine that most people, who devote their life to one thing and forgo most everything else, will lead a happy life. A bit of balance is probably most healthy.
Devoting a fair amount of time into your “bread-winning” pursuit, while still saving space for stuff like friendships, stimulating hobbies…
I guess it’s hard, when you don’t have the smallest sense of identity, to let go of numbers (grades, test scores, etc.) as measures of your worth.
I’m glad you found a space to breathe for a bit, and find yourself. I think a fair amount of us need that, at some point…
I am also a physics major from a top school in Turkey, currently a grad student in the best. I can relate the stress you went through bro. Although I love physics, I figured out that academia is not a good choice for me I guess. Idk how patient a physics major must be. For 4 years, I relieved myself like the stress will pass when I finish undergrad. In grad, the stress is 10x, and I realized I am ruining myself.
Respect man, you have some balls to say fuck it. Hope I can get the mindset to priortize myself.
That’s a phenomenal story man
I struggled a long time with music and playing the saxophone in high school. In high school the pressure got so intense to be good that I couldn’t sleep and had extreme anxiety. I could somewhat keep up the mirage but it was so hard on me. I think it really ruined my mental health. Later I got a girlfriend… and I completely dropped the mirage and also just said “I don’t care”. I was much happier. And eventually quit saxophone. I’m now in another cycle… years later of being in a top company job where I’m feeling challenged and just simply not that interested. But because it’s such a prestigious job, it’s hard for me to let go. Thanks for sharing this.
Of course. I hope u can either find some way out of that "cycle," or some kind of balance within it.
You hit with me home when you talked about being sick in sophomore year. I was the same way, and it got me into a car crash. I was tired, major was undecided, and I was taking class not knowing what was doing; being so miserable. I 100% agree that chances are, the root causes to the sickness is our mental health and well-being. I noticed that and as a result, I am living a better life because of it; rarely got sick afterwords.
I have a friend that had a similar situation at school and just after she dropped out , she started to heal both mentally and physically, its great you listened to your body and realized it’s more important to be ok rather than to have an amazing job or amazing career but be miserable for the stress around it.
Im studying "pure" mathematics at university and im in basically in the exact same position you were, i entered the field because i was insecure and wanted the admiration of others and now im struggling to pass my courses ( math is genuinely a fun subject but it feels like im just not smart enough for the subject + it feels like im procrastinating bc i see no future for myself here)
Hope u can eventually find something that works out!
such an important story dude! i always feel the need to try my absolute hardest on things and i get very stressed about little details, but this a great reminder to prioritize what really matters.
i wanted to do physics because its beautiful, the theory the math its all beutiful you remind me of a friend i think hes in the same spot as you were in a couple years ago, with the current trajectory im going in i wont be able to study the physics i want to do. Im settling for becoming an electrical engineer with a math major hopefully land a 3 day a week job so i can focus on math and physics that matter to me.
We all must adjust and adapt with our current circumstances peace and love brother.
Thank you for inspiring many young people
Man I wish I had learned as quickly as you. I studied electrical engineering and was constantly anxious about not doing well and my mental health wwas not good for most of my undergraduate. But I thought that if I just tried harder and did better my anxiety would go away. It did kind of get better at the end but several years later I had another huge anxiety attack that lasted for months and was really bad. I think it happened because I had never had my crash out moment where I realised what I was doing wrong that lead to poor mental health, and I was terrified of it happening again. Now at 27 I'm learning to rebuild my identity as well. Much love everyone
@Alex Wei
Thank you for sharing your story Alex. This hits home for me.
very relatable man , i'm dealing myself with parents who refuse to associate any kind of success in life outside of college
i do not like the modules i have to go through in college nor the people i have to encounter everyday
i hope you make videos about how you reached financial freedom through freelance because that would be much more inspiring
It's your life, not theirs!
@@official_awei
brother sincerly thank you for those kind of videos its the types of videos that show you that you are not alone in this struggle and that many people just want to live on their own terms not societal's
and believe or not today i just dropped out of college lol and my parents are in shock
Thanks for voicing what's been on my mind. i'm thinking between physics and medicine, and it was important for me to hear your story because actually my motivation for applying for a bachelors in physics is silly and emotional - just to prove to myself that i'm smart enough.
Freshman here, and though I am not pursuing a Physics major, i sure am rethinking my choice of studying at college in general. The insecurity about your own intellect and academics part hits close to home as well…
I initially began my junior year feeling this way. My chronic stress manifested itself into physical pain and numbness. One of the worst feelings ever. I would wake up stressed and sweating. Thanks for sharing your story.
I completely understand your frustration.
I flunked out of UCLA in my junior year majoring in physics. Five years later I got my masters degree in physics at another university Cal State Northridge because it was more suited to me and because I was determined to succeed at physics.
My son got his degrees in physics and astronomy from Berkeley and finished his PhD at U of Hawaii where he got a chance to use the Keck I telescope for 3 weeks as the principal investigator. During his high school years I made sure he did his homework but didn’t force him into physics, only telling him physics is hard but told him don’t give up when it does get hard. To my surprise he did very well as an undergraduate. Today he is an astronomer at the Large Binocular Telescope in Tucson.
So my point is that it is completely a state of mind - where there is a will, there is a way. But on the other hand, life is full of other possibilities- don’t be afraid to explore.
Best wishes to you.
Now you get to find what you're good at and can pursue with a renewed passion!!!
I am currently a high school senior and hope to get into college to study physics. However, I have been doubting if that would make me happy. I love physics and genuinely have a passion for it because I like space so much, but I can't ever see myself dedicating my whole life to academia. I used to be insecure about my intelligence because I would barely pass class, but now I couldn't care less about my average grades in college physics because it's a tough subject. What also helped was the realization I am one of 18 out of 1600 kids at my school taking Physics 2, so I was far from inadequate to the majority of people. Comparison means nothing when there are people who take on-level courses and live much happier and more fulfilled than me. I just want to be stable by doing something I like before I can quit and do my real passions which are art and game development...
Totally get it. I also think physics is fascinating, but not enough for me to want to dedicate my entire life to academics. Hope u can find something that aligns with your passions eventually!
Been there man, you’ll be good.
well I'll say a few things.... 1: You're here and you're doing better than before so that's a blessing. I'm a freshman in college studying computer science and I feel the imposter syndrome, always wanting to be different and better but I'm starting to lose track of myself to an extent. so thank you for sharing. 2: everyone's situation is unique to them and that's the beauty of being able to relate in terms of emotion. anyone that sees this, remember that you're not alone and that Jesus Christ Loves you.
Sometimes you need a break to sort yourself out. After graduating high school, it took me 5 years to figure out that i wanted to actually continue my education instead of just working. Those 5 years that i spent working, prepared me to actually go to school i think, because i wouldve flunked out if i went straight from high school. Not everyone has the traditional path you see on social media, and chances are, those people's live are messed up too, you just can't see it.
Interesting story, thanks for sharing
Great video but what are these ai generated images😭
Hope u got a laugh outta them
Hey Alex, Thank you for sharing your story. It must have been hell going through that, but it is amazing that you managed to accomplish so much. It takes a lot of effort to recognise and self reflect, it takes a strong person to accept the truth and make a change for themselves even if that change may seem frightening at first. I admire you for that inner strength you exhibited.
Keep on going!! Hope you channel grows and you earned a new subscriber!
This resonates with me. I chose engineering because people always treat me like I'm an idiot and I wanted to prove them wrong. Now I'm halfway through and I wish I had chosen something that works with my hands, like carpentry or botany.
Hey man I never comment on vids but as someone who went down ur EXACT path up to the end of college i feel you. Ive been out for like 6 years and now im chillin in Japan teaching English and its pretty cool. Ambition is great and all but ambition informed by judgement by others is a no-fly zone. Also pretty cool that u had the courage to drive across the country and that ur doin YT, much luck out there, it doesnt get easier 🫰
Appreciate it brotha, ur job does sound cool. That quote about ambition, couldn't have said it better myself.
hey you are young, it's ok to figure things out, not everybody is meant to follow the same path. Luckily we live in a country where second chances are easy to get, especially for talented individuals. You will be fine.
I needed this video - going through the exact same shit. Appreciate it man stay healthy stay happy ❤️
Hope you're happy and healthy as well
Thanks for sharing your story
Im currently a junior at UIUC studying engineering physics and computer engineering and in many ways I relate to your video and your experiences. I came into college trying to be as competitive as I can since Grainger college of engineering is one of the top engineering schools in the country let alone our physics program and computer engineering program. Ever since I was a kid I've always aspired to become a physicist or study it in college which is why I'm still here but actually being here and doing it now, I feel, to an extent, the same way that you feel. Studying for all these exams and whatnot just to get a good grade and for what? Grad school mostly cares about what experiences you've had in undergrad (ie internships, research, etc) and same thing with jobs. You don't have to be summa cum laude just to prove a point or "guarantee" yourself success in research or industry. I try to make the best use of my time but I feel like Im constantly behind in not only my academics but also doing the "experience" part as well. I am yet to land an internship or research opportunity because I've been just overwhelmed and drowning with the workload of my classes alone. The only thing I do have to make up for all this is that I've made so many friends since I started college that the networking is the only edge I'd have if I go into industry or anything else. To be frank, I love my majors and show insane interest in them and really am banking on the versatility of my degrees to land me a job that I am interested in and can put my heart and soul into. But I can't help but just panic at the face of competition and seeing my friends have so many internship and research opportunities while I'm just sitting here still stuck on the first step of sorting myself out. I'm just getting by in class and admittedly do above average most times even though I am "faking it till you make it" with assignments and projects done last minute, cramming the night before the exam, not going to any lectures since attendance isn't mandatory, and I just feel like Im walking on the edge of a cliff just moments away from falling off and crashing down. I promise myself that "next semester I'll be ahead of all my classes and go to all lectures and have a better schedule" but it's been 5 semesters now and that promise hasn't been fulfilled. Every semester I seem to have difficulties that hinder me from doing so: from breakups, to registering for classes weeks into the semester, to just having awful mental health and stress, this is honestly getting too much. I try to make the best of it that I can and try to be happy, but I will be quite honest that I don't know how to keep pushing myself and I am terrified that I can't land the jobs and opportunities that I want later in life for me to reach my vision of success. If anyone reads this, thank you and I always am open for constructive criticism or tips.
Lmao this video pop up after I drop out of my physics degree and op for a math degree instead 😢. The thing is I did my first and second year of physics during covid so it's indefinitely worst. I was at the lowest point in my life at the end of the second year. So I had to do something before it spirals out of control.
It has been over 2 years since then, looking back right now if I didn't change I would probably still so miserable. I have lost weight, eat healthier, actively seeking friendships, my depression is generally in control. So I would say it has been the best decision ever.
Stay healthy and hope you remain that way ❤🎉
Quality content as always 👑🎗️
Appreciate it man!
psychology major here, you're absolutely correct on the mental health affecting you physically. unconscious conflicts accumulate in the psyche and get discharged into physical illnesses. im glad you were able to get through it! happy for you :)
I don't have exact same story as you but it's pretty similar. I am stuck doing a engineering degree I do not like for my immigrant father. I have to spend an extra year at another college I was forced to transfer to (top 20 public school, not quite as impressive, same conference however). It genuinely sucks and I have made no friends here. What helps is that even though now my gpa is shit, I know that my worth is not my intelligence, it's how I treat people and how I can help others. I think that's excellent advice. It's good to see you have found a light at the end of tunnel man. Maybe I will find my own.
I'm sure u will brotha. Keep fighting, but don't forget the things that truly matter along the way.
obviously you shouldnt base your self worth on any of your characteristcs but more importantly, gpa isnt related to intelligence at all.
imagine smartest person ever. now imagine a car. now smash them. do you think they will be able to keep up their gpa? no. because they wont be able to study(i assume it was fatal)
if you think this is controversial, i dont think general intelligence exists at all. no one is faster to learn anything simply because they were born that way. if they have experience with similar concepts they will connect new concepte better and faster. not because they always could, we all born incapable of understanding we have shitten.
From a person in her 30s who " studied what they loved" though, I wish I has done a peofitable degree like engineering even if I didnt care for it. I do not need much mk ey but when rent and unemployment are constant concerns you just feel miserable all the time. Life sucks. Of my former clademates most got deoressed or changed carreer and got depressed. The onlh exception was the lne who married rich. Friends who studied engineering are hapoy, not terrified about poverty, and still enjoy hobbies. Do not underestimate the good life a degree you dont lile mjch can give
@@ege8240 No, people are born smarter than others.
I’m a pre-med biochemistry major with a minor in other sciences and I completely feel this to heart. I’m also Arab so I completely understand the push towards academics and not prioritizing my overall health