if you struggle with identity, it’s okay. 🫶
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- Опубликовано: 30 апр 2024
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When I clicked on this video I didn't expect you to be so well spoken in it. Also, "My dad's German" made me chuckle so hard!
As an indigenous woman living in so called America, this is so real and relatable, sis!
You're not late, we all walk at our own pace. And questioning ourselves is what makes us human :)
❤
Thank you for your contribution to public discourse!
I struggled with identity until I was almost 30 years old. As a child, my parents made me wear south Asian clothes to school. I was rarely allowed to wear western clothes. In the 80s, people were nasty when you looked like that in The Netherlands. People told me I didn't belong here, that I was a nothing but a foreigner, etc. It wasn't just at school, it was everywhere I went. Even in my 20s. So I was always aware that I was different. I struggled a lot with growing up here with very strict south Asian parents.
Nowadays I'm fine with not really belonging anywhere. I have my own friends, Muslims and non-Muslims, religious and non-religious, different backgrounds, but this is where I belong. Our hearts match, our personalities draw to each other and this is a lovely place to belong to. I have taken the lovely sides of both south Asian and Dutch cultures and these are part of my personal life. I live a mix of both cultures and as a Muslim I make the best of it. Critics can think whatever they want about this.
I wish we could have talked about these issues back then! I really needed these conversations. Whenever we visited Indian and Pakistani family friends we had to show this facade of perfect family life, "good south Asian children who haven't forgotten their culture and aren't too western and we are all so happy bla bla bla". You could never talk to other south Asians here about what was really bothering you. At least not in the circles of our family and their friends.
That's exactly how I feel here in the UK
@@riyadougla539 I'm sorry you're going through this. Hope things get better. Hugs from the Netherlands ♥️
@@Ksahdia Thanks! In the UK they don't say anything to your face most of the time, but microaggressions never stop. You talk in a London accent and they ask you if you have a visa or UK passport. They don't acknowledge a single good thing and always scapegoat. At the same time in Bangladesh everyone including my cousins call me foreigner and they think I'm rich. It's very annoying and confusing. The desis here are very confused. They either try their best to be accepted or are obsessed with the middle east. Even Rishi Sunak gets asked patronising questions.
@@riyadougla539 Similar experiences here. Due to my love of reading, my Dutch is often better than that of white Dutch people. Even if I'd wear western clothes, many of them will always view me as a foreigner. Both the white Dutch and Southasians drive me crazy. And both give me nice experiences too.
People in Pakistan have similar opinions about us living in the west, as Bangladeshis. They think we're super rich, my family does have enough money, some are rich, others are average. But not to the level people in Southasia think!
I will never forget the time my cousin from Pakistan was here and he was in shock: my Uncles had their own shops and at the end of the workday I'd clean up myself. He was used to having servants in Pakistan and didn't expect us in Europe to use the broom ourselves
I recognize people desi struggle for acceptance and confusion. I've been there and it took me years to get where I'm now. We should all unite and work together. People from India-Pakistan-Bangladesh-Sri Lanka-Nepal-Afghanistan,we'd all be stronger if the fighting amongst ourselves would stop. Someone was offended online by my usage of the word Southasian without thinking asking how I use it: I use it because I feel one with several Southasian countries, I use this to be inclusive.
We all share more than we think
❤
When I was growing up in Connecticut, I mainly had Hindu and Sikh friends since the Muslim/Pakistani community was smaller. One day me and my friends (white and desi) were visiting UConn together for a college tour, and a Christian right wing activist yelled at my Hindu friend "Hey you a MUZZLIM?!'. My friend responded 'Subhanallah!' and laughed it off. He could have said no, he could have said other things, but he gave the best response.... We went the rest of the day normally, i'm sure he's forgotten the incident from 7 years ago. But I will never forget.
I’m just sick of the world at this point. Not fitting anywhere. Not being accepted anywhere.
damn... this video hits me home too much. especially when you talked about identity politics on the internet. i was very young when identity politic got popular and i started to exploit myself for being a Third Cultured Kid/1.5 gen korean in canada in a way to validate and grandiose my existence. and now im kinda over it, but i still feel pressured to engage with it even though i chose to NOT struggle and exaggerate my frustration over identity.
and more i think about it, i don't really have identity struggle, but im extremely frustrated and angry at the state of the world. and i was using identity politic to vent about it. i hated how the "West" was seen as progressive and open-minded and "better" while other countries had to either earn/work harder for the same status or just seen as "dirty", "underdeveloped" and "conservative". As much as I was mad with anti feminism and other social issues in korea, I was also angry at how westerners uses korea's social issues to dehumanize my ppl and my homeland. i was also frustrated w white approval tendency that korean has and how much they are racist towards black ppl and south east asians. this whole thing frustrated me.
but like you said we just have to live. it feels like i missed out so much on life because of how much i was exploiting my identity even though i just turned 20. and thank you for reminding me that i shouldnt be limited by my identity :)
ur one of my favorite youtube person and thank you so much for being authentic and honest!
Sister be speaking the truth fr fr
unrelated but you look so pretty on the thumbnail mashallah I was startled for a sec...
As a white revert to Islam, I feel your pain lol. I don’t fit in ANYWHERE and it’s so odd (and sounds kinda racist lol) to say I want to meet other white reverts. I also wear niqab so that makes me even more of an outsider within and outside of Islam. I am just trying to enjoy being “different” and creating my own culture 🤷♀️
This video is definitely resonating with some of us. Thanks for your words.
This is beautiful, thank you so, so, so much and I'm sending this to all my friends!
Let's discuss homophobia in the Muslim community
yes
mohammed ordered them to be killed. and allah ordered us to submit to mohammed. end of discussion
Yeah, it really can feel like having a strong identity can really separate you from most other people, who just don't seem to care about too much of anything outside their own family/social life. Was just thinking about this. (But caring about things outside ourselves is how we make things better...)
So many muslim women make content but you are so... real.
I'm not muslim but interested in Islam. I even thought about converting but there are a few things that keep me from it and honestly - I hate hate hate the hijab on myself and I don't wanna wear it.
Of course I feel bad and sad about it but I simply can not. To see you who accepted the way you are and that hair is everything makes me feel valid somehow.
Others would start to guilt trip me into wearing it or something or would make me feel miserable.
You seem so calm, down to earth and understanding but still connected to God.
hey i'm not a convert/revert but i'm praying you can find community irl to support you in this journey, i find people online have completely messed up priorities. if you believe in the oneness of God, that is more than enough reason 💕 everything else can come along at your own pace. even born muslims like myself struggle with hijab, prayer, abstaining from sins, but if you have hope in God's mercy, then He will guide you to the straight path. Wishing you much love and peace!
Don’t let the Hijab stop you, the faith/ belief in one god and the five pillars of Islam are the most important. Then comes the rest. I’m not saying Hijab is not important, it is. But if it’s keeping you from the faith entirely- then no. Convert. Follow the fundamental five pillars and perhaps you will find it in your heart along the way to wear the Hijab. Other Muslims might guilt-trip you. It’s unfortunate but normal and expected as our appearance is basically what’s visible for others to judge. But it’s alright, walk your own pace-
I know several Muslim women of good character who refuse to wear the hijab.
I’m from Argentine. A Muslim revert living in Buenos Aires. Every single time people ask me: “but, where are you originally come from?” Followed by a… “oh, so you’re playing being Arab”.
I feel this! Thank you for making this video xx
Good video! Its always so interesting to hear about other people issues and realize how much of it is relatable while being so different lol. (Also nice editing, and nice everything!)
Today, while I do still kind of question myself (doesnt everyone?), I'm just way more chill about it. I try to keep a solid morale compass, because as you've said I do not wanna be like people who simply don't care about real issues, and I try to not care about what others think of me and that's it.
I've had bad mental health for a very long time, I grew up with a lot of issues. But nowadays I'm trying to break free of the bad habits I've accumulated over the years. The self hatred I kept deep inside myself for a long time. I definitely think it is deeply tied to my identity. Self hatred made me think I was less, it made me put myself in a box. It also felt like I belonged nowhere.
I think I had a similar upringing to you and it feels so good not to feel alone thank you for being so open and sharing
I agree so much. I had a similar experience up to oct. 2023. I even began shifting to becoming a right leaning person. Palestine woke me up.
HUH??? start studying immediately.
@sumeya1923 I was turning right wing BEFORE not any more if I was unclear.
@LuLzick I highly recommend that people stop thinking about "left" and "right". These are stupid man-made paradigms that are limiting as heck. Life is full of nuanced situations that these political camps will never be able to accommodate, and will eventually only serve x-treem!sts. Just be an independent thinker who serves Allah, and avoid attaching yourself to these dumb labels ❤️
you support jihad against disbelievers being a disbeliever yourself? i respect you for it, brother. alhamdulah. another question: do you guys think aisha never had children because, when mohammed put his penile into her when she was 9, he messed her up internally?
Always thrilled to see the notification pop up that you posted. Love your content 🦋 looking mighty regal miss ma’am the style is styling
Great conversation. Identity politics are important, for the reasons you mention, and can be a positive force. But sometimes (often?) people take it too far and focus only on that one aspect of their lived experience. It can lead to dark places such a racism, classism, etc. In other words to exactly the same kinds of things that they were struggling against in the first place.
People who go down this hole often forget two important things: intersection and connection. Yeah, you can be, say, of Mexican descent, but you can also be a woman, a gay person, a poor person, etc. Each of these contribute to who you are and your life experience, not just being of Mexican heritage. This leads directly to connection because these aspects of identity connect us to others who share this, but are different in other ways.
There are people who say "You're not part of that group, why should you care? It's not your problem." It's because we are all in this thing called life together, and what affects you over there affects me over here. Was it Mandela who said that we are not free until everyone is free? Or maybe MLK. History shows that once one group is oppressed, it becomes easier and easier to oppress more and more groups because the forces of oppression REALLY love identity politics and abuse them shamelessly, despite claiming to be against them. So I have an invested interest that those guys over there have freedom and justice because if they don't, it puts me at risk as well. Is that a sort of benign selfishness? Not sure, but if it motivates people, then good.
i feel like every muslim tried to convert their childhood friends at one point 😂
right!? like we really tried😂😂 what were we thinking hahaha
No
High school 😂
I love this! I use to think the same that I cared too much. But that’s as you said a good thing!! ❤
This video is so real and Hilarious. You were just so vulnerable... your younger self is so funny
love the thumbnail! and i totally agree with the phases of realization that you had
Tasneem, i am an immigrant from Pakistan. Came to US when i was in college. After finishing school, i started working and then got married to a Pakistani immigrant who came here after finishing high-school. Even though we both are immigrants, i have identity issues, but he doesn't. I don't know if the gender also plays a role in this struggle, but he seems to be more content. What's happening around us is so sad, exhausting, heartbreaking, and overwhelming at the same time. Sometimes, i just spend all day doing mundane things to distract myself. It's funny how in sitcoms, they show people from different races being friends with each other. It doesn't happen in reality. People hang out with people who look like them. Even with the cultural awareness that you hear about, people make rude and ignorant remarks. It's just the sad reality of life.
You are underrated gem 🤍
This was beautiful 💜💜💜 keep going
this is so relatable. im going through an identity crisis right now
Great insight in this video . I’ve watched your videos on and off from when you did comedy and btw you’re hilarious 😂! But love your serious videos too ! Maybe you can be the bridge between East and west …
Your content is very informative and interesting.
I feel so validated
MASA ALLAH
Glad you're back.
I saw what happened to enthnically ambiguous podcast, and started worrying about you.
Your insight is appeciated.
Great vid ❤
As someone who didn’t grow up hanging around other Muslims, I thought those who did weren’t struggling as much as I was
how did i do this? I'm excited for the video lol
good video, good points, thank you for your perspective!
also thank you for not using a kid based on her parents, but instead hating her for not committing to the friendship!
Hi,
I think identity issues are a part of the human experience irrespective of your background. Identity boils down to what you value, with the South Asian diaspora, or any diaspora for that matter, we are growing up with two very different value systems, so it takes abit of time to sift through them, try them on for size and decide which ones to keep and which ones to discard. Some of the time this is done consciously, other times not so much.
And sometimes you only realise what you value by going through the opposite experience.
As for identity politics, I have come to the conclusion that societal structures need a scapegoat. And ofcourse, this doesn't make it right, but it appears to be a deep, societal psychological need. Right now, it's the Muslims. If you study the history of any given country, they were always killing each other over identity. 500 years ago over here in England, it was the Catholics vs the Protestants. That concept seems laughable in today's England. Just think back to the Islamic civil war not long after the death of the Prophet (pbuh). Even people with the same values, with the same religion, from a blessed time could not escape identity politics.
I read somewhere that history doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes. So true.
some kid in 2040 is gonna watch this and relate to it so hard i j know it
I woulld like to propose that the so called religious people not to demonize Muslim women who do not want to wear the hijab. Also we should not assume that a Muslim woman who wears the hijab is a good person. Thank you Tazzy for making these videos.
u look so pretty❤
TCKs, gather here!
You’re my favorite Muslim youtuber
Nice video keep it up. The Audio is very low ... even with the speaker at max.
I'm ethnically and racially very mixed and live in a very homogenously white country passing as white - I totally relate to your experiences though. I think it's kind of beautiful ❤ also, free 🍉
I should not be left to my own devices
The crimes of dumbledore¿grindlwald ¿ it’s the sEcReTs
Hey Tazzy, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?
Do you think your hatred of white men comes from your upbringing? I saw a video of yours in which you deride brown women who date white men.
I don't think she cares about white men. This is about being visibly Muslim as a women can be triggering for some women who are Muslim but not practicing. It's about the topic of identity as a Muslim always is brought up for Muslims. Like you sound so self absorbed.
I think ur struggling with lighting right now half of ur face is orange haha jk jk
You say “then October 7th happened” - yet, you don’t say a word about Hmmas’s responsibility in the suffering inflicted on the Palestinian people… could you share your views on that?
Oh, common, for the sake- khamas, khamans, you are using a vocabulary book that every official was given after 7 Oct. Always forgetting about 75+ years of oppression done by Israel!
Why would anyone share their views on that when Israel created Hamas through their occupation. We could spend ages talking about the symptoms instead of talking about the original sickness. Namely, white settler colonialism. Care to share YOUR views on that?
So do you think genocide is justified in some situations?
Every time you post a new video the further back your hijab is and the more hair you expose. May Allah guide you😢
I like the lighting, i think a white (or yellow) light on the left side of face would look good ans would go well with the reddish light on the right side of your face.
We are growing with you, Tazzy❤ Thanks for having the courage to do it on camera so that we can also hold the mirror up to ourselves, Masha Allah🪷❤️🩹🙏🏾