Insane Florida Man Headlines!

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  • Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024

Комментарии • 661

  • @treelambs5392
    @treelambs5392 6 лет назад +1065

    I’m convinced Florida is just a live GTA server

    • @xenounde0
      @xenounde0 6 лет назад +12

      ruclips.net/video/_cvJ6tfNG28/видео.html

    • @knifeniceguy
      @knifeniceguy 6 лет назад +52

      living 30 minutes from Jacksonville ...can confirm

    • @schlubenno3827
      @schlubenno3827 6 лет назад +10

      I live here and where I live none of this shit happens. I always thought California was the “crazy” place. It’s so boring here. 😂

    • @thetastiestjam
      @thetastiestjam 6 лет назад +2

      Treelambs I can confirm

    • @lugnutvs.8173
      @lugnutvs.8173 6 лет назад +2

      Treelambs sometimes it is down here.

  • @knotletis
    @knotletis 6 лет назад +423

    ‘I wouldn’t want to approach a man about to nut inside a pit bull’
    -Jared 2K18

    • @Chris_yes
      @Chris_yes 6 лет назад +21

      if this channel was as popular as it deserves to be this comment would already be at like 2000 likes. thats metal stuff and weird funny people I guess.

  • @anarchy__1693
    @anarchy__1693 6 лет назад +450

    Florida man on drugs kills imaginary friend and turns himself in. That's an actual headline.

    • @luciferslunchbox632
      @luciferslunchbox632 6 лет назад +9

      Stannis Baratheon you are fake

    • @snow5772
      @snow5772 5 лет назад +4

      I saw that

    • @markthedark595
      @markthedark595 5 лет назад +3

      Hey anarchy_ _16 i like your Slaughter To Prevail pic

    • @idiosyncraticmushroom3030
      @idiosyncraticmushroom3030 4 года назад +4

      it would be funny if they never mentioned the drugs and somebody thought that that man was completely sober. Like yeah somebody would do that.

    • @phantomechelon3628
      @phantomechelon3628 4 года назад +2

      Aren't all Florida people on drugs...all the time?

  • @kaleb.metzger
    @kaleb.metzger 6 лет назад +254

    "Where are my balls, Gregory?" -Austin Dicky 2018

    • @DaRealNobody420
      @DaRealNobody420 6 лет назад +5

      Kaleb Metzger HOW WAS JARED NOT DYING?!?!?!?! 😂

    • @penelopegarcia6573
      @penelopegarcia6573 6 лет назад +5

      Time to make a compilation of Austin's quotes.

    • @xavierazad
      @xavierazad 6 лет назад +12

      It was in Rick and Morty

    • @mikebarnes7441
      @mikebarnes7441 5 лет назад +1

      Because he definitely stole that quote

  • @gabekuchan
    @gabekuchan 6 лет назад +312

    Florida man Florida man. Doing things a Florida can. Florida man

  • @ryanleatigaga7596
    @ryanleatigaga7596 6 лет назад +419

    Florida Man Creates Giant War Robot out of Remains From Seattle Heavy Metal Band Members

  • @MisterMisanthropic
    @MisterMisanthropic 6 лет назад +106

    All of the best headlines start have the words “Florida Man”

  • @Solidkhallid
    @Solidkhallid 6 лет назад +162

    Having lived in Florida for the past 20 years, I can confirm its just as weird as you think it is.

    • @avoiceinyourhead9405
      @avoiceinyourhead9405 5 лет назад +4

      38 years here... Definitely an adventure! Lol

    • @kaelanmcalpine2011
      @kaelanmcalpine2011 5 лет назад +2

      @Thisgirlashhley Considering we're the meth capital of the world, this shouldn't be a surprise....unless you live in a small town of nothing interesting. Well at least I don't live in the middle of buttfuck nowhere 123.

    • @justbrowsing9706
      @justbrowsing9706 5 лет назад +3

      23 years and counting... Not much has changed

    • @EnergeticxCheese
      @EnergeticxCheese 5 лет назад +1

      Lmao I could tell you that after 2 months in St. Petersburg

    • @brettbush7491
      @brettbush7491 5 лет назад

      @Thisgirlashhley hey did u live near tampa

  • @samusammale766
    @samusammale766 6 лет назад +55

    Florida man. The hero we need, but don't deserve

  • @ajsazerdo3740
    @ajsazerdo3740 6 лет назад +12

    11:47 I just saw Austin singing Foo Fighters and had to stop and comment about it lol

  • @papa_da_engineer
    @papa_da_engineer 6 лет назад +112

    "Pick it up, pick up the cigarette" 😂 😂 😭😭💀💀

    • @connerdiamond5317
      @connerdiamond5317 6 лет назад +8

      Native Gringo the phonics of this phrase could be potential djent material

    • @Chris-sv5zs
      @Chris-sv5zs 6 лет назад +2

      Oh My GoD I’m dEaD LmAo XDDDD

    • @DecontructRecreate
      @DecontructRecreate 6 лет назад +2

      Larry the trash picking cougar or whatever it was called, that skit on family guy

    • @Chris-sv5zs
      @Chris-sv5zs 6 лет назад +1

      Deconstruct//Recreate yep

  • @scottychi
    @scottychi 6 лет назад +11

    I love my state! Floridian and proud!

  • @empirestatelvr3694
    @empirestatelvr3694 6 лет назад +66

    Florida man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land that you understand
    Florida man, the voyage to the corner of the globe is a real trip
    Florida man, the crust of a tan man imbibed by the sand
    Soaking up the thirst of the land

    • @scottygunz1245
      @scottygunz1245 6 лет назад +4

      babybackbrady holy shit...but ocean man is too good

  • @andyfmiranda
    @andyfmiranda 6 лет назад +58

    People get naked and oiled when they are robbing. It makes it almost impossible to catch you while you run.

  • @SixStringDave_90
    @SixStringDave_90 6 лет назад +23

    So I used to work at the Home Depot where the monkey attacked the lady. This was in the small hick town of Okeechobee (I only lived there for 5 years) and this happened after I left, but, that lady brought her monkey in all the time when I was there and was normally a pretty chill animal. Still, it is Florida and doesn’t surprise me one bit.

  • @marsss7939
    @marsss7939 6 лет назад +199

    Fun fact: florida is one of the only states that doesn't have regulations on information released about crimes in the media, so it's not that florida is particularly insane, it's just that you don't hear about the specifics of crimes in other states

  • @jacobeberhardt1649
    @jacobeberhardt1649 6 лет назад +63

    I'm honestly not surprised by any of these, living in florida myself.

    • @shawnconway5696
      @shawnconway5696 6 лет назад +2

      Jacob Eberhardt same here

    • @Chris_yes
      @Chris_yes 6 лет назад +1

      likewise to my comment up there please tell us some :)

    • @chrisd.3319
      @chrisd.3319 6 лет назад +8

      Jacob Eberhardt Same here! I was a New York City cop for 21 years and was convinced I'd seen it all.... I retired 8 yrs ago & moved to Florida. I learned VERY quickly that I had NOT seen it all....!!!! Every fuckin' day it seems I witness my own personal "Florida Man" headline ..... NYC has nothing on Florida for sure!

    • @misscacti2126
      @misscacti2126 6 лет назад

      Exactly lol as a Florida native, this is 100% accurate 😂

    • @RiPP2_The_Core
      @RiPP2_The_Core 6 лет назад +1

      Chris D. Hahahahahahaha that's great 😂😂😂😂😂😂🔥🔥🔥🔥💀💀💀💀💀

  • @2LBoxer
    @2LBoxer 6 лет назад +74

    Florida man gets sponsored by W A R R O B O T S

  • @cornbeef2128
    @cornbeef2128 6 лет назад +285

    The next GTA game should be based in Florida lol

    • @chompy6664
      @chompy6664 6 лет назад +6

      Yessss

    • @lukaszboczar2441
      @lukaszboczar2441 6 лет назад +22

      Corn Beef Florida basically is GTA

    • @killslay
      @killslay 6 лет назад +39

      Vice City was in Florida

    • @cornbeef2128
      @cornbeef2128 6 лет назад +8

      RJ read my comment again... “the NEXT GTA GAME”

    • @wolfstar675
      @wolfstar675 6 лет назад +9

      Uhmmm Vice City was in Florida.

  • @SilverBack_Props
    @SilverBack_Props 6 лет назад +28

    When I think of Florida I think of two things , the band trivium and Florida man . I Imagine they have that old timey circus song ( u know wat I’m talking about ) playing on loudspeaker throughout the state just to keep up appearances.

    • @frayedendsofsanity1733
      @frayedendsofsanity1733 6 лет назад +8

      GOTEN 3030150 The band Death? No? Okay.

    • @chrisd.3319
      @chrisd.3319 6 лет назад +2

      GOTEN 3030150 ruclips.net/video/1D5Sa2Yq-2g/видео.html

    • @SilverBack_Props
      @SilverBack_Props 6 лет назад +2

      Chris D. Yess !! !! That’s the Florida anthem !!

    • @chrisd.3319
      @chrisd.3319 6 лет назад +1

      GOTEN 3030150 That song starts playing as soon as I open my front door to leave the house! LOL

    • @kaelanmcalpine2011
      @kaelanmcalpine2011 5 лет назад +1

      Wait Trivium comes from here?
      Also I think Kamelot as my primary Florida band, then Death, then Iced Earth, then TSO (Because Savatage).

  • @sl1psn0tt
    @sl1psn0tt 6 лет назад +72

    This is why i want to leave florida. I literally have a neighbor that does drugs and has an illegal pet alligator

    • @chrisd.3319
      @chrisd.3319 6 лет назад +22

      Daniella Beck I think I live across the street from you! LOL

    • @sl1psn0tt
      @sl1psn0tt 6 лет назад +10

      Chris D. Lmao thats funny

    • @mranonymous3554
      @mranonymous3554 6 лет назад +16

      Dude that's why I wanna move to Florida

    • @kaelanmcalpine2011
      @kaelanmcalpine2011 5 лет назад +3

      Fuck this I'm moving to Indiana. Only downside is now sweet tea, and the sugar packs do next to nothing either. Like it takes more than there are in the world to even make it slightly sugary, whereas it takes two or three spoonfuls and there's some sweeetness.

    • @STE607
      @STE607 5 лет назад +1

      F

  • @ObeseJohn1
    @ObeseJohn1 6 лет назад +65

    can confirm these are all legit headlines. i live in florida. im kinda a professional

    • @schlubenno3827
      @schlubenno3827 6 лет назад +9

      J-Lynn'O You’re not a professional until you’ve made out with a live alligator at a party. 😤

    • @Chris_yes
      @Chris_yes 6 лет назад

      I'm sorry. what have you seen? tell us some stories!

    • @RiPP2_The_Core
      @RiPP2_The_Core 6 лет назад

      🔥🔥👌👌👌😎😎😎😂💀😂💀💙💀😂💀💀

    • @CyberChrist
      @CyberChrist 6 лет назад +1

      "Professional floridian" is the new "professional russian".

  • @Patty-P
    @Patty-P 6 лет назад +12

    Austin going above and beyond getting the follow ups 😍

  • @goodguyfabi3636
    @goodguyfabi3636 6 лет назад +8

    Fun fact: Biting off your finger would be as easy as biting through a carrot but your brain stops you from doing it.

  • @Dekead1930
    @Dekead1930 6 лет назад +26

    Lol, I watched the Florida man video from a while ago yesterday and I thought this was like a reupload

    • @bigspinshit
      @bigspinshit 6 лет назад +1

      I KNEW I had seen something like this before, thanks for keeping me sane!

    • @TheBlackKnight1o1
      @TheBlackKnight1o1 6 лет назад

      Dude me too

  • @xavierazad
    @xavierazad 6 лет назад +3

    "Where are my balls gregory?" lmao reminds me of Rick and Morty

  • @call_me_kite5753
    @call_me_kite5753 6 лет назад +2

    I live in Florida. And the news is honestly the best thing to watch

    • @chrisd.3319
      @chrisd.3319 6 лет назад

      Kenton Lermond Local news is hilarious! I have to wear a bib when I watch the morning news because I'm always shooting coffee outta my nose from laughing at the daily insanity that is Florida....

  • @Delta3354
    @Delta3354 6 лет назад +9

    I have to say, Jared looks far more approachable with his hat forward than back.

  • @memetastic4404
    @memetastic4404 6 лет назад +3

    I was drinking soda during the minion one and as soon as Jared said, “are you sure this wasn’t you” I just exploded

  • @etsukoemeritus7416
    @etsukoemeritus7416 6 лет назад +9

    I am wearing exactly the same shirt as Austin as Im watching

  • @deja3963
    @deja3963 6 лет назад +14

    Can confirm, the only things in Florida are cows, alligators, humidity, and copious amounts of drugs. It's fun here.

  • @jole4261
    @jole4261 6 лет назад +2

    That 'The Office' reference though yasss
    Also Austin's shirt👌

  • @brettrobinson7486
    @brettrobinson7486 6 лет назад +18

    I knew this dude who did acid then tried to get into someone elses house naked by knocking on the door and saying its our house. Like its not your house its not my house. Its our house.

  • @qualcom01
    @qualcom01 4 года назад +2

    I clicked on this instead of listening to music. “Grinding meaty bits against nuts and bolts” made it worth it.

  • @kaelanmcalpine2011
    @kaelanmcalpine2011 3 года назад +1

    19:14 I guess his friends weren't his power this time. *Laughs in Xehanort*

  • @snackers199
    @snackers199 6 лет назад +11

    Florida Man take me by the hand

  • @brendandownham654
    @brendandownham654 2 года назад

    “where are my balls gregory”😂😂😂

  • @oogabooga2694
    @oogabooga2694 6 лет назад +4

    11:50 WATCH HIM AS HE GOES!

  • @Miningfordiamonds1
    @Miningfordiamonds1 6 лет назад +42

    My sister’s boyfriend was friends with a dude who nicknamed himself oden who broke in to a dudes house naked, stood by the dudes bed and when asked who he was he replied with “I am you” and left. He now lives in the woods with wolves.

  • @The_Atheist_Carpenter5625
    @The_Atheist_Carpenter5625 2 года назад

    Man this nostalgia kick is gonna last all night.

  • @bradleyrayson2955
    @bradleyrayson2955 6 лет назад +11

    Trust, I live in Broward. Florida is crazy.

    • @ryanbazail
      @ryanbazail 6 лет назад +1

      I'm from Weston so I live in that part of broward that tries to be boujey. So I'm not to familiar with the crazyness of the other side of beward

    • @bradleyrayson2955
      @bradleyrayson2955 6 лет назад

      @@ryanbazail I live deep in the heart of downtown Fort Lauderdale. It's crazy. It's sorta getting better lately but we'll see how long that lasts.

    • @bradleyrayson2955
      @bradleyrayson2955 6 лет назад

      @@ryanbazail indeed they're gnarly

  • @christopherjohns2574
    @christopherjohns2574 6 лет назад +4

    You'd be surprised how crazy it is

  • @veganarchistcommunist3051
    @veganarchistcommunist3051 5 лет назад +4

    "Dear Florida, we need to have a talk. Sincerely, America."

  • @carlossaumamadrigal7915
    @carlossaumamadrigal7915 6 лет назад +6

    Nice Ernie ball hat Jared!

  • @j.paullacey6277
    @j.paullacey6277 6 лет назад +6

    As a Floridian I feel that I will be on this list for something that I did

  • @oldgoblin7312
    @oldgoblin7312 6 лет назад +27

    Austin looks just like a friend of mine, except my friend is still fat.

    • @RiPP2_The_Core
      @RiPP2_The_Core 6 лет назад +1

      A Pack Of Goblins 😂😂😂💀💀💀

  • @kasimeritak119
    @kasimeritak119 6 лет назад +13

    Austin looks good with a cap! Tbh

  • @Forest_V19
    @Forest_V19 6 лет назад +1

    This channel deserves so many more subscribers. Keep up the great work djentlemen.

  • @boozer216
    @boozer216 6 лет назад +1

    I love all the quotes here lmao

  • @balockaybumblebee
    @balockaybumblebee 5 лет назад +1

    8:24 GIVE A HOOT DONT POLLUTE!

  • @gagelink4963
    @gagelink4963 6 лет назад +1

    9:50 there was another one like that I saw where the guy got pulled over by the cops on live PD and he didn't have a licence, but said it was ok because he wasn't driving his car he was travelling in his car so he didn't need his driver's licence

  • @timothyissler3815
    @timothyissler3815 5 лет назад +3

    *Me six minutes in...*
    "Don't go to Florida. Ever. Not even for Disneyworld."

  • @TheBlackKnight1o1
    @TheBlackKnight1o1 6 лет назад +2

    Whoa
    I literally just watched the first video you guys did on this...

  • @WhiteAlbumGG_YT
    @WhiteAlbumGG_YT 6 лет назад +5

    If you can't handle us Floridians then don't come down for the summer

  • @MireilleAntone
    @MireilleAntone 4 года назад +3

    "If someone were to break into your house and then just leave a random object."
    Did you mean: Santa Clause
    Note: Accidentally typed "Satan Clause" (by instinct) before editing it.

  • @ianbos9570
    @ianbos9570 6 лет назад +1

    Austin! Love the Ghost shirt! Awesome!

  • @justindarden5998
    @justindarden5998 6 лет назад +1

    Hey guys good to see yall

  • @Microtonal_Cats
    @Microtonal_Cats 4 года назад +1

    3:45
    If you're poor and do crazy shit, you're crazy.
    If you're rich and do crazy shit, you're eccentric.

  • @baozi8865
    @baozi8865 6 лет назад

    Jared is like empathizing and then Austin is like uh fuck no 😆

  • @jacetaylor7597
    @jacetaylor7597 6 лет назад +8

    Dave grohl would be so proud

  • @EvilAnarchy
    @EvilAnarchy 6 лет назад +1

    "Don't look at the Adams apple! Don't look at the Adams apple!!"~ Jim Norton

  • @ZZZ13656
    @ZZZ13656 6 лет назад

    I always look forward to any video you guys upload, it always lifts up my mood and makes me laugh! Love you dudes

  • @Tirryna
    @Tirryna 6 лет назад

    A few years ago, Cox'n Crendor made up a huge thing about "🎵Florida Man 🎵

  • @jayceledet6756
    @jayceledet6756 4 года назад +2

    Florida wouldn’t have crime if they didn’t have alligators

  • @bcl3341
    @bcl3341 4 года назад

    These are only the ones that hit the news...I've lived in FL for my entire life and have been "Florida Man" many times 😂

  • @eric_buck
    @eric_buck 6 лет назад

    Austin has that hopped grapefruit booch from humm. Good shit

  • @PhantomLantern2814
    @PhantomLantern2814 6 лет назад

    I really wanna see y’all do the 50/50 challenge

  • @localmusiclover605
    @localmusiclover605 6 лет назад +7

    Florida man rage quits about OverWatch

  • @Hadalium
    @Hadalium 2 года назад

    "So what's it like being married to a Ferris Wheel?"
    "Well, it has it's ups and downs..."

  • @James.99
    @James.99 6 лет назад +2

    I wonder if "Florida Man Invents Death Metal" was ever a headline

  • @norsemodco.6847
    @norsemodco.6847 6 лет назад

    Love the vlogs guys. Me and everyone in my band watch your guys videos

  • @vengeance_falls_9610
    @vengeance_falls_9610 6 лет назад

    The video quality is a lot nicer!!!! What camera are you using?

  • @enasal-qawamshe374
    @enasal-qawamshe374 6 лет назад

    I love you guys so much, your videos always make me happy

  • @thedisabledviking
    @thedisabledviking 6 лет назад +3

    i like the fact jared was trying to justify an assault 6:43

  • @baileylarson2661
    @baileylarson2661 6 лет назад

    Love the Ghost shirt

  • @spaceturtle1686
    @spaceturtle1686 6 лет назад +11

    Florida man arrested for tranquilizing and raping alligators (real story)

  • @dropdmurphy5689
    @dropdmurphy5689 6 лет назад +1

    If there's a naked man in Jared's kitchen cooking pasta, its because Jared asked him to be there. "Hey Jared, u ready for some Italian sausage????""

  • @Chris_yes
    @Chris_yes 6 лет назад +1

    PS I love the fact that the gator story that you linked is actually narrated by a Scottish or Irish woman. It makes it even more surreal. anyway thanks guys.

  • @Halo3machenima
    @Halo3machenima 6 лет назад

    I want to visit florida now. It sounds absolutely insane. I bet it would be the most entertaining vacation ever.

  • @uwubenji2271
    @uwubenji2271 5 лет назад

    *wakes up to austin singing my hero* aim for the bushes

  • @cigarettecat3981
    @cigarettecat3981 6 лет назад +12

    I am the Florida man because I live in Florida

  • @0xyt0cin65
    @0xyt0cin65 6 лет назад +33

    Last time I was this early Austin’s weight was further behind Jared hairline

    • @schlubenno3827
      @schlubenno3827 6 лет назад +6

      Aiden Al jenabi Good sentence.

    • @sergioperez-si7bu
      @sergioperez-si7bu 6 лет назад +5

      Jaden L I'm still trying to figure it out

    • @eoindenniston2611
      @eoindenniston2611 6 лет назад +3

      That doesn't even make sense idiot

    • @Chris_yes
      @Chris_yes 6 лет назад +2

      give him a chance he's special needs

    • @benhart6438
      @benhart6438 6 лет назад +2

      Last time I was this early dickeys weight was disappearing faster than Jared's hairline would make more sense.

  • @guitarmichael
    @guitarmichael 6 лет назад +8

    Tuff organic haircuts

  • @thewildsergals3481
    @thewildsergals3481 6 лет назад

    i LOVE your ghost shirt

  • @ashleyhanks355
    @ashleyhanks355 5 лет назад

    AUSTIN, I APPRECIATE YOUR OFFICE REFERENCE!! DWIGHT SCHRUTE!!

  • @jamesstuart1634
    @jamesstuart1634 5 лет назад

    I just realised how much Austin wears that Habitual Gloom hat

  • @erikharper1538
    @erikharper1538 6 лет назад +1

    the naked spaggethi one happened ltteraly a few miles away from my house in tallahassee

  • @guttergoodies674
    @guttergoodies674 6 лет назад +1

    The target thing also happened here in cali. In the next town from mine. Shit was lite....get it ahha

  • @nicandre7943
    @nicandre7943 6 лет назад

    Hey Austin what are you drinking in this video? Always love your videos guys, always entertaining AF!! Thank you for putting them out for us!

  • @nameless76mozwhaz9
    @nameless76mozwhaz9 6 лет назад

    I got the same shirt at the second ritual of that tour in Pa Austin. hail Ghost!

  • @jaredwright1655
    @jaredwright1655 6 лет назад

    Dicky reppin ghost. Love ya doggg

  • @ITzCrimePvP
    @ITzCrimePvP 6 лет назад +2

    you guys looking fresh af

  • @Psychosurgeonpls
    @Psychosurgeonpls 6 лет назад +1

    godspeed florida man.. godspeed

  • @kolbybutt9685
    @kolbybutt9685 6 лет назад +8

    I like to think Florida man is just the nickname for one middle aged man in Florida getting into all these situations

  • @emmymnz220
    @emmymnz220 6 лет назад +1

    florida is so fucking metal

  • @sophiaonearth6347
    @sophiaonearth6347 6 лет назад +1

    Dickey looks fantastic, you inspire me to keep trying to lose weight as well!

  • @MexicanSpy
    @MexicanSpy 4 года назад

    “Florida man is a anomaly”
    It sounds like SCP Potential

  • @sweeeeeney
    @sweeeeeney 6 лет назад

    Great video guys 🤘🏻

  • @hibro2596
    @hibro2596 5 лет назад

    Nice Ghost shirt Austin

  • @johnjarman5689
    @johnjarman5689 6 лет назад +2

    I bet the guy who was sleeping with the dolphin really freed Willy.