@@cheshirecynic4524Sounds like you watch too many movies. Food stamps have not been a physical thing for almost 20 years and you would get smacked for trying to trade a gift card for anything but a lil bit of weed from a teenager.
We once stole lighters all year from a buddy, put them in a shoe box and wrapped it up in duct tape and gave it to him on Xmas. His reaction was priceless.
YES! I made it into a Dickey Dines video! For the record, I snapped my knee whilst still on the bounce house, No idea how but it sounded like a tree branch snapping! Also, my brother ended up getting the scooter since I had to go through 6 months of physiotherapy 😂
Kat On High Thanks xD It was a complete slap in the face considering I had a cast from the top of my thigh to my toes so I had to bump down the stairs on my butt behind everyone else lol
KenoxProductions It's cool, worse things have happened :P I got to have people run around after me in school, all the people I hated in school had to run and get me lunch etc 😂 It had it's perks!
In eighth grade my choir class was doing this secret Santa thing and I told the teacher I didn’t want to do it. She was asking everyone what they wanted so the people who bought gifts would know what to buy. As a joke I raised my hand and said “all I want for Christmas is a can of tomato soup.” Everyone laughed but when we got gifts I actually got a can of tomato soup from my teacher. I thought it was one of the best things that a teacher has ever done
After not getting me anything for ten years my aunt who is also a drug dealer got me a calendar that had a definition of a different word on each day. I found out later that her thought process was "he's smart, smart people like dictionaries right?"
Holy shit I asked for a guitar once and I got a ukelele. My grandparents were like "what do you think?" I didnt have the heart to tell them that guitars have six strings, not four. 😂😂
There is a Wal-Mart down the road from my dad's house that was caught making meth in the backroom. I work at a different Wal-Mart, but I gotta say. Target is killing it.
My mom and her sisters have a group chat for the kids’ wishlists and we all know better than to only send pictures. We only send links and tell them about offers in stores because they mostly don’t buy anything if it’s not on sale.
Joey Lara Same, how it works with my family is that we just tell each other what we want and we all order it via Amazon prime or some other medium. That way no one is disappointed
The magnum part and Austin's Fucking acting honestly made me scream laughing and crying at the same time just because of how funny it was, thank you cause I haven't laughed like that in years honestly and Evan though it's 7am UK time the laugh was well worth it.
Isaac you guys need to spend Christmas together. In our house, the cheese goes first then the caramel and butter. I like the caramel the least, but I got bad teeth.
Josh RiffMonster well my grandparents got me some erotic (well, porn) novels These were disguised as some pirate adventure novels, I think they didnt read whats written in them But i didnt really mind as 11yo kid xd
Actually, a homeless person could buy meth with a target gift card. I once lived with a drug dealer for a few months, and saw all sorts of stuff traded for drugs. Food stamps and gift cards are pretty common currency in the poor-person's world...
3:53 Austin: "Oh i don't think this is mine, and she's like Oh shit..." Jared: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA". Jared laughs at everything Austing says. That's actually so funny🤣
my dad is a fire fighter. his dad (my grandpa) wanted to get him a gift that showed him that he was proud or something. my dad was completely stumped as to what it was when was holding a small but heavy gift. so was my family. my grandma and grandpa weren't there to see his reaction. the disbelieving look on my dads face while holding an utterly useless statue of a fire hydrant was priceless.
My grandparents got my sister and I, for our 14th birthday, an outdoor playset. "Ages 3 - 5" it said on the box...We hid that in the closet and I believe it is still there to this day.
About the condom thing. My mother got me some condoms before because apparently that is what awkward parents do when their son "comes of age". Funny thing is, she got me magnums. I could barely stop myself from laughing. I was thinking "Does she really think its that big?" funny thing is though, she was somehow right.
I was that other guy that you mentioned that got the expensive pen, and that was also a grandma gift haha I'm also triggered you didn't screenshot it 😂
Man, i love those tin cans with pop-corn inside it, everyone in my house does. I personally love the actual tin cans themselves because of how nostalgic they are.
My mom told my step dad if she got a washer and dryer for Christmas that she would kill him, so he spent hours searching for little tiny washer and dryers and spent like $50 and gave them to her, they still sit on one of our shelves.
Funny thing about the popcorn tins- We used to get those for my grandfather every Christmas. He absolutely LOVED them. He's probably the only person in the world who genuinely enjoyed them.
The worst Christmas gift I was supposed to get, but never did was a box of chocolate flavored condoms. It turns out my grandparents decided to try them out and there wasn't a single one left. The worst part is they went into detail about what they did and my lesbian aunt nearly fainted because she couldn't handle hearing about her straight parents sex life.
When I was little my parents owned a small sock factory and it was well known that one thing I had an endless supply of was socks and yet one year I got socks from my Grandmother, aunt, three cousins and an uncle, all unironically and not gag gifts.
I asked for an electric guitar, but I got this fake plastic one with 4 multicolored strings and a giant pic from Toys R US. In hindsight, it wasn't a bad gift.. but I was kind of expecting a real guitar lol
The worst Christmas gift I've ever gotten was a HOW TO KAZOO book from my Grandma. I don't play kazoo. I don't know how to play kazoo. I've never wanted to play kazoo. She got it for me because I said i played the recorder in which she heard kazoo.
When they mentioned the homemade and that blew up within a week I thought of when Cory Taylor exploded in the music video for "the devil in I" by Slipknot
My sister asked me what I wanted for Christmas, me being a smartass and not really knowing I said a piece of cheese. Christmas comes and I have one little square gift from her, I open it and it’s a slice of cheese...Then my other gifts come out but I give her props for going through with the joke
I gave my secret Santa a large jar of Hellman's light mayonnaise- it had been waiting next to a radiator for about two weeks as well before she got it Edit: I found out she's allergic to Mayo
Well since most of the video was about bad Grandma gifts, I think I should say that my grandparents came in clutch with probably the best of the three vinyls I got this year: Origin - Unparalleled Universe. Hell my parents probably couldn't find it despite our favorite bands and Origin all being on Nuclear Blast, and my mom also getting me two Overkill albums (My favorite: The Years of Decay, and the newest one; The Grinding Wheel).
be sure to go like our facebook page so you can make it into a future video
The DickeyDines Show bet
Is it just me or has dickey lost a gaping dickhole amount of weight?!
The DickeyDines Show koo
DO CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY
Dickey you make jared laugh more than anybody lol
“You can’t buy meth at a target”
Well, at least not IN a target
And scuzzy drug dealers will typically take food stamps and gift cards, at less than face value of course
@@cheshirecynic4524Sounds like you watch too many movies. Food stamps have not been a physical thing for almost 20 years and you would get smacked for trying to trade a gift card for anything but a lil bit of weed from a teenager.
no one says anything about BEHIND a target
@@cheshirecynic4524 yeah I'm surprised they didn't know that
Here in the great state of Indiana, you absolutely can buy meth IN a target
I got SUPER GOOD guitar strings... for my violin.
werewolfcooties where's the problem? Improvise. Adapt. Overcome
I once got viola strings for my violin, and then I got 4 A stings instead of a set the next year, those were rough times lol
Brennon Ramsey: They were so close... yet so far
I feel that in my bones
@@kegfoster6021 is it enough to make your systems blow?
We once stole lighters all year from a buddy, put them in a shoe box and wrapped it up in duct tape and gave it to him on Xmas. His reaction was priceless.
how the fuck does austin always have a story for everything that comes up, this is Austin's channel at this point
Terra Firma here's this channel in a nutshell: *Austin says something relatively humorous-ish. Jared dies of laughter for the ump-trillionth time*
@@tomboomeronacrv to be fair, who wouldn’t die of laughter from the shit Austin says?
@@spicybean2004 4 years later you're probably still right
@@tomboomeronacrv yee, Austin is always funny and Jarbes has his moments
my older sister had a miscariage last year (in november) and then my brother gave her a dying fetus shirt as a christmas- gift.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
That's fucking funny yo
Jake Pinnick are you the baby
Milan Bausch have u seen death metal wiggles? its super funny
Epic
Dickey's grandma sounds like quite a character.
Dickey's *family*
@@alchemist3661 dude I thought I was the only one who watch this old video.Been binge watching this channel for quite a while lol
@@lodke1697 his comment is from two years ago tho
@@robertogtr9159 Not mine. Mine was 3 weeks.
@@alchemist3661 oh sorry I didn't see the tag ✌🏼
YES! I made it into a Dickey Dines video! For the record, I snapped my knee whilst still on the bounce house, No idea how but it sounded like a tree branch snapping! Also, my brother ended up getting the scooter since I had to go through 6 months of physiotherapy 😂
Lawren Haggerty yours was my favorite oml 😂❤
That sounds horrible. I feel bad for you...
Kat On High Thanks xD It was a complete slap in the face considering I had a cast from the top of my thigh to my toes so I had to bump down the stairs on my butt behind everyone else lol
KenoxProductions It's cool, worse things have happened :P I got to have people run around after me in school, all the people I hated in school had to run and get me lunch etc 😂 It had it's perks!
Lawren Haggerty one time I broke my foot on a bounce house when i landed on it weird. Bounce castles aren't as soft as people think!
In eighth grade my choir class was doing this secret Santa thing and I told the teacher I didn’t want to do it. She was asking everyone what they wanted so the people who bought gifts would know what to buy. As a joke I raised my hand and said “all I want for Christmas is a can of tomato soup.” Everyone laughed but when we got gifts I actually got a can of tomato soup from my teacher. I thought it was one of the best things that a teacher has ever done
I wish my teachers were that cool.
ZackOvAllTrades but it’s weird because I hate that teacher but I will always love that moment
I asked my grandma for a drum practice pad, and she got me one of those cheap ass electronic kid drum sets with plastic sticks.
Denver Williams Thats why you ask Grandmas for gift cards lol
oof, i hope this doesnt happen to me, but ive already got a practice pad
Ive been asking my family for sheet music, I hope I don’t get marry had a little lamb.
Denver Williams Least you got something for Christmas? Millions of kids get nothing. Grow up. You sound shallow and selfish.
zac You sound dense
After not getting me anything for ten years my aunt who is also a drug dealer got me a calendar that had a definition of a different word on each day. I found out later that her thought process was "he's smart, smart people like dictionaries right?"
Fuck that, if my aunt was a dealer I'd ask for weed 😂
My grandma bought me a Custom shop telecaster.....soooooo.....grandparents aren't always off base haha
Cortland Goff ill trade you 😂My grandparents buy me a box of cereal and weird 70s button up shirts every year.
@Cortland Goff holy shit your grandmother knows whats up
Jesus Christ man!
Holy shit I asked for a guitar once and I got a ukelele. My grandparents were like "what do you think?" I didnt have the heart to tell them that guitars have six strings, not four. 😂😂
Cortland Goff My grandma just got me a Gojira shirt. Not to mention, my favorite album! It was the From Mars To Sirius 10th Anniversary shirt.
I work at target i can confirm even tho I don't work in pharmacy there is an 87.4% chance we don't sell meth
If you sell Adderall then yes you do
There is a Wal-Mart down the road from my dad's house that was caught making meth in the backroom. I work at a different Wal-Mart, but I gotta say. Target is killing it.
What the fuck is the other %23
What the fuck is up with your math skills? 12.6%
Cheshire Cynic I have bad math skills bro
Dicky is so funny omg
Tomislav Gredisnjak excuse you. It's Dickey*
SupernovaTaamsay Emily Dickens*
@@BrokenGodEnt Dickenson*
*Dickerson
@@Tunkkis Dicksonsington
I think this video has my favorite intro so far 😂
best intro yet
Josh is a bum smuggler
I swear every episode of these guys brings me to tears with laughter. Love you guys.
A way to start the day before finals, yes
Alexis Villadelgado Glad to see a gal watching the same goofy ass shit as me 😂
23:01 what the hell Austin xDD
You sounded like a bear cub dying.
MR.TOILETPARTY It made me *HARD*
my aunt has gotten me shaving razors for the past 3 years.. i've had a beard for the past 2 lol
She wants you to shave it
Ryan Kurnik I think that’s a hint
This is why whenever I make a Christmas list, I put links instead of descriptions so they can just order it online
Joey Lara Smart.....very smart
I make wishlists on various online stores and email them to my family
My mom and her sisters have a group chat for the kids’ wishlists and we all know better than to only send pictures. We only send links and tell them about offers in stores because they mostly don’t buy anything if it’s not on sale.
Joey Lara same here.
Joey Lara
Same, how it works with my family is that we just tell each other what we want and we all order it via Amazon prime or some other medium. That way no one is disappointed
The magnum part and Austin's Fucking acting honestly made me scream laughing and crying at the same time just because of how funny it was, thank you cause I haven't laughed like that in years honestly and Evan though it's 7am UK time the laugh was well worth it.
That 3-way popcorn tin barrel is so true. We only ate the caramel corn and left the rest to sit until next winter hahaha
Dude I eat everything but the caramel. Those tins are pretty dope though.
Isaac you guys need to spend Christmas together. In our house, the cheese goes first then the caramel and butter. I like the caramel the least, but I got bad teeth.
Dickey's shirt just reminded me I have a Cognitive neuroscience final tomorrow 😅👌🏻
Did you do well on the test
Yeah I need to know
Yes I did lol I’m a college grad now 😄
@@Xtina_9 Ayyyeeee congratulations!
One year all my cousins got like 100 dollars and all I got was axe body spray and I was like are you trying to tell me I stink
You should probably shower more
Why do grandmas send bad gifts? Well, mine, she gifted me a guitar so, I don't understand xD
Josh RiffMonster can't relate all mine died before i was 3 lol
dude same here
Mine gives me like $100 every year and I hate it but love it. She doesn’t need to be giving me that much
Josh RiffMonster well my grandparents got me some erotic (well, porn) novels
These were disguised as some pirate adventure novels, I think they didnt read whats written in them
But i didnt really mind as 11yo kid xd
Short Tom thinking of grandparents??
yo i aint that level of a fuck up
Actually, a homeless person could buy meth with a target gift card. I once lived with a drug dealer for a few months, and saw all sorts of stuff traded for drugs. Food stamps and gift cards are pretty common currency in the poor-person's world...
3:53
Austin: "Oh i don't think this is mine, and she's like Oh shit..."
Jared: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA".
Jared laughs at everything Austing says. That's actually so funny🤣
my dad is a fire fighter. his dad (my grandpa) wanted to get him a gift that showed him that he was proud or something. my dad was completely stumped as to what it was when was holding a small but heavy gift. so was my family. my grandma and grandpa weren't there to see his reaction. the disbelieving look on my dads face while holding an utterly useless statue of a fire hydrant was priceless.
I want to make a show where all the laugh tracks are Jared laughing at Austin
Family: "So what do you want for christmas?" Guy: [slaps table] [snorts] "F*@king mustard."
"Are the Tulips ready"
this should be a radio show
My grandma gives us the receipt of a 10 dollar dontation to kids in need for each of us
Aaron Block I mean.. you didn't get anything.. but it's not the worst, right?
Once i got a toilet paper roll with Santas on it from my grandma
Considering toilet paper is a valuable resource, I would be super excited for that like socks or pants
2017 Jared looks about 10 years younger than 2020 Jared.
5:03
I'm an older brother and that is SO accurate.
My grandparents got my sister and I, for our 14th birthday, an outdoor playset. "Ages 3 - 5" it said on the box...We hid that in the closet and I believe it is still there to this day.
14:35 I fell off my chair.
About the condom thing. My mother got me some condoms before because apparently that is what awkward parents do when their son "comes of age". Funny thing is, she got me magnums. I could barely stop myself from laughing. I was thinking "Does she really think its that big?" funny thing is though, she was somehow right.
How does she know? 😓
She probably sneaks in at night to look at your lil weeny😂
That’s fucking funny
I was that other guy that you mentioned that got the expensive pen, and that was also a grandma gift haha I'm also triggered you didn't screenshot it 😂
Boom
No you weren’t......
My mom got me a box of Froot Loops for Christmas once. I thought it was a gag gift, but it wasn't. She said, "Well you like Froot Loops!"
Dude legit the first dialogue you guys had and I'm fucking dying.
Austin: **says anything**
Jared:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I got face wash and my brother got a Nintendo switch... tHaNkS dAd
Man, i love those tin cans with pop-corn inside it, everyone in my house does. I personally love the actual tin cans themselves because of how nostalgic they are.
My mom told my step dad if she got a washer and dryer for Christmas that she would kill him, so he spent hours searching for little tiny washer and dryers and spent like $50 and gave them to her, they still sit on one of our shelves.
Funny thing about the popcorn tins-
We used to get those for my grandfather every Christmas. He absolutely LOVED them. He's probably the only person in the world who genuinely enjoyed them.
dickeys getting so skinny
TornPaperYoyo the dick needs girth
Do you not watch Dining with Dickey? Long and thin is what they're looking for.
TornPaperYoyo he's on drugs yup
He's been getting meth from target.
The worst Christmas gift I was supposed to get, but never did was a box of chocolate flavored condoms. It turns out my grandparents decided to try them out and there wasn't a single one left. The worst part is they went into detail about what they did and my lesbian aunt nearly fainted because she couldn't handle hearing about her straight parents sex life.
*stoned to the bone*
Oh man, I wished my grandma got me a toaster
The guy with the amp must have been playing Van Halen.You know eruption 😏
That intro with Jared's laugh gets me every time
13:53 The Phantom Cougher
Now toilet paper is the perfect gift
Mine was a bottle of wine.I AM A STRAIGHTEDGE
Christina X lmfao suck it up and drink edgy person
10:10 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂
God that scenario in the intro would be the funniest football dudebro dad moment ever
Are the tulips ready tho?
It did hurt, but shit happens.
Stephanie Baggett they read it while I was reading your comment. My grandma got me long underwear. While she knows I'd never wear that thing
Max Miller I read it at the exact same time 😁😉😁
Well holy smokes that's a coincidence 😛
"that's a lot of mustard"
GOOD OBSERVATION AUSTIN
The grandma head shake got me 😂
easily my favorite show
Why is his laugh so violent
When I was little my parents owned a small sock factory and it was well known that one thing I had an endless supply of was socks and yet one year I got socks from my Grandmother, aunt, three cousins and an uncle, all unironically and not gag gifts.
It turns out my life is not so bad.
"I thought it was a toy train set" LMAO
This year, my cousin got a drone, and I got towels
I asked for an electric guitar, but I got this fake plastic one with 4 multicolored strings and a giant pic from Toys R US. In hindsight, it wasn't a bad gift.. but I was kind of expecting a real guitar lol
The worst Christmas gift I've ever gotten was a HOW TO KAZOO book from my Grandma. I don't play kazoo. I don't know how to play kazoo. I've never wanted to play kazoo. She got it for me because I said i played the recorder in which she heard kazoo.
Sounds like a good time to pick up the Kazoo honestly.
Lol the pedals one had the Boss metal zone popping into mind
There was some video where a guy on a motorcycle was giving out $20 Burger King gift cards to homeless people.
My grandparents have it down for christmas, they just send me and my brothers money, they know what's up.
Does your mom say shell hold it for you
My father and his two brothers regift a fruitcake every year. They’ve been doing that since the late 80s.
Dickey : " yeah here you go (happy) christmas"
STORY GAMING I BEG OF U
When they mentioned the homemade and that blew up within a week I thought of when Cory Taylor exploded in the music video for "the devil in I" by Slipknot
Jared how tiny are you if you wear nothing but medium shirts xD
My sister asked me what I wanted for Christmas, me being a smartass and not really knowing I said a piece of cheese. Christmas comes and I have one little square gift from her, I open it and it’s a slice of cheese...Then my other gifts come out but I give her props for going through with the joke
I got socks one year which again isn't bad the only problem was that it was from a guy who I said hello to once at work 😬
"Here are Some Legos" "I'm 28"
Fuck That, I'd be fucking Stoked, Legos are fucking badass!
I gave my secret Santa a large jar of Hellman's light mayonnaise- it had been waiting next to a radiator for about two weeks as well before she got it
Edit: I found out she's allergic to Mayo
Fuckin Amazing
I gave my secret Santa something much better
Let's hear it then
@@austinhawkins5426 we dont share stories like this................
Oh, Oh my
"Well the Nothing was a good one" 🤣👌
I always ate the cheddar and regular and left the caramel... psssssssssssshhhhhhhhh
Oh thank God, I thought I was the only one.
Austin said “my grandpa died in front of me” then had a quick flash back ☠️☠️☠️
What band shirt is Austin wearing looks awesome!!!!!!
Vengeance_Rises_96 cognitive
Vengeance_Falls_96 Cognitive! They are dope!
Dickey7861 I'll have to check them out! Thanks Austin!
9:50 best thing I’ve ever heard!
came as early as i could
apparently i didn't come early enough
Are the tulips ready 🤣🤣🤣
I got some shamwow cause my life is a fucking mess
**tells the child the toaster is a bath toy**
Giving gift cards to homeless people isn't even that bad of an idea though
I need this today. Thank you guys!
I love the popcorn:(
Be the friend to give your friends the weird and shitty gifts. Cause its YOUR gift they're gonna talk about
I asked for band merch and I got camo stuff 😂
Well since most of the video was about bad Grandma gifts, I think I should say that my grandparents came in clutch with probably the best of the three vinyls I got this year: Origin - Unparalleled Universe. Hell my parents probably couldn't find it despite our favorite bands and Origin all being on Nuclear Blast, and my mom also getting me two Overkill albums (My favorite: The Years of Decay, and the newest one; The Grinding Wheel).
I got a sperm recipe book when I was 11
Did.... Did you use it?
The mustard one sounds like a cards against humanity card