I felt the same way you do about running out of time until very recently. I did run out of time, literally, my whole life ended last August when my fiancé died very suddenly and unexpectedly. I lost everything I had ever planned for and dreamed of. I was 'on track' to do all the things you're told as a woman you should do before you're 30 - I had a wonderful man who I loved, who I was months from marrying, we were were half way through buying our first home together, we were half way through IVF and due to have a baby should all have gone well, well before my 29th birthday. I am now 5 months from my 30th birthday. I've rebuilt a lot of my life, it's not ended, and I still have time to do things, and to change my plans and my life again. The saying 'you only live once' is wrong - you live so many lives in our time of being alive. You have time to live and try things and new versions of you.
I remember being 29 and realizing that time was passing and I was being the actualized version of the choices I'd made earlier in life. It is scary and we're told that once you hit 30 you're worth as a woman disappears but that's not true at all. I'm 31 now and happier than I ever have been. I would say I have more value even than a younger me because I have experience and authenticity to offer people in my life now.
Could not agree MORE with this!! I'm 35 and the happiest and most truest version of myself I have ever been 🥰 Here's to embracing your 30's, 40's and beyond ❤️
You were just as valuable back then as you are now, you've just realized your value now! 30s is great but I do miss the metabolism and lack of body aches from my 20s!
I just turned 36 in May, which means I’m suddenly closer to 40 than I am to 30, and it’s certainly a surreal thing to feel time pass by. For a while it felt like I was constantly pushing forward-in relationships, in my education, in my career-and I now I find that I’m in a place where I’ve achieved a lot of the goals I set out for myself and am wondering what’s next. It feels odd, to be more in tune with who I am, but to be faced with a whole new set of possibilities about what my life will look like from here on out. Will I move somewhere tranquil? Exotic? Will I progress in my career even further? Will I decide to have a family or stick with my decision to be childless? It all feels so fast and slow, so dire and inconsequential, so liberating and boring and comforting and maddening. I think life just feels like this sometimes. We wish for what we don’t have, long for what we could have had, are homesick for the things we have while we have them. I hope time feels slower for you soon, and I hope you can keep finding who you are. The world is big, and so are our souls.
Lucy, I’m 52. Growing up never stops and life can be full at every stage. Getting out of your 20’s is when you start really being aware of time passing: make it count, live it to the fullest! And the small moments, even ordinary ones can be the best.
I just turned 24 and I'm currently having to find a new place to live and a new job before starting at a new uni in September. And I've been trying to, since May. But the world right now is so full of walls too high yet provide no shade from the 40° heat and no shelter from the relentless costs of living. And I keep finding myself getting so emotional that my 20's had to be now, at this point in history. Why now? How am I expected to lay the foundations for my life when the earth threatens to swallow me whole. I want to relish the time I have left to be carefree and reckless but there's always so much at risk even when I'm careful so I can't take any chances. So I'm not having my experiences. So I'm not learning all my lessons. I cannot figure out who I am, and live in survival mode. It is an awful time to be in our 20's.
Something that really struck me was how you spoke about the odd bittersweetness that comes with being the happiest you've ever been. I realised I was the happiest I've ever been, that maybe this is the first time I've been truly happy, standing in the freezer section of a Lidl! I felt such joy, but also a wave of grief for the past two decades of my life, a childhood spent without contentedness. I'm learning that this is my role now: to allow that grief to surface, to be the adult child-me needed, to tell them it's okay that they are not happy, but that we found our route to happiness. It's also frightening to know that this version of me is part of a fleeting string of people as I grow and change, so I think I find comfort in knowing future me will be leading us further into life filled with joy
I am only 22 and yet I relate to thinking of what could have happened if I have lived my life better before. The last 6 years have been wasted with having struggled with social anxiety all throughout uni, then being in lockdowns and working remotely, and now my country literally being at war. And I am only realising this now. But there’s hope.
It's really comforting to have someone talk about what it's like to be 27 right now. I realized listening to you how much I want to see this experience reflected and talked about. That little clip resonated deeply. I would love to watch a whole series about people figuring out their late twenties in the midst of all this, or just hear more of your thoughts. Thank you for opening up!
Also, re: mourning being sober in your 20s - it feels like such a loss when you start but then you meet more friends who are also sober or just de-emphasize drinking, and then you start to realize that it is the ultimate life-hack. It gets so much better!
I remember being nervous about turning 30, but I am now 34 and feel that I know myself better than ever. Who I am, what I want, how to stand up for myself. I am not where I’d like to be in terms of my relationship, buying a home, etc but I try not to be too hard on myself. Trust me, you’ve got plenty of time 💕
i recently turned 26 and i feel this way. like logically i know i'm young but it feels as though time is slipping away. so much i want to do and to achieve and yet i feel stagnant, like i'm watching things happen. so much of my life feels like it's been lost to mental illness and now the pandemic too. it's sad.
I also feel like I've lost most of my life to mental illness and that I'm many steps behind my peers with a whole lot of catching up to do. I know I can't wait to be better though, as this is just part of who I am. We have to break the stagnancy somehow! Good luck 💕
I’m going to turn 30 in 3 weeks and I feel the same way. I’m very happy with my life now, I don’t have a partner, don’t have a job, just finished studying and live in a house with friends. I’m ticking none of the traditional boxes for my age and I somehow feel guilty about that even though I really am happy, it’s so weird. I also wish I had known myself better earlier, believed that I deserved good things, and that younger me wasn’t such a people pleaser… But I’m so happy with how far I’ve come, and I am building a great life for myself. I don’t know where I’m going with this, but yes, I do feel the same !
Covid really made it feel like we lost the past few years. I just turned 27 and it's weird to think that my mid 20s are now gone. I actually welcome aging and growing into my more mature self, but I still feel that sense of time rushing faster than we can run! I think Covid has more of an impact on that for 20-somethings as we tend to live a more social life (not as established so we have more frequent outings with friends, etc). So it's like we blinked, endured this immense stress pressure-cooker in survival mode, then woke up and realized we are not who we were before the pandemic started. It's so odd. It's a lurch.
Thank you for being so honest Lucy, I am turning 29 this year and I do feel like this sometimes too. Some months ago my best friend announced that she was pregnant, I got so emotional she thought I was crying of happiness but I was crying because I just felt scared I am not where I should be in life, or I don´t feel as adult as them. Hopefully we will all figure it out soon! A big hug from Barcelona!
Oh Lucy.. I don't know if you'll read this but- I'm 33 now. I remember being 27, I remember being so scared of time passing..but I hit 30 and it was like.. a switch flicked? like suddenly the fear was gone, and I was so so happy with where I was. And I still am. i don't feel like i've fun out of time, I feel like I have so much left to live and I have so much better of a grasp on who I am and where I want to be. Our world puts so much of a focus on our 20s and I find its so foolish- we aren't done becoming adults yet! I don't think you have to fear 30, or even 40-50-60 beyond. Its normal to just be finding who you are at 27, and its okay! I hope that hearing from someone past 30, that life feels *so* much better now, brightens at least someones day. I'm the happiest I have ever been, and I will only keep getting happier.
100% agree with this! I’d say I spent from 25-29 worrying about getting older and time passing me by, but then literally as soon as I turned 30 suddenly it all just stopped mattering! It’s so bizarre that so many people feel the same. I’m 33 now and am the happiest and most content I’ve ever been and truly believe this decade will be so so much better than my 20’s!
The comment section has been so great for me, I turned 28 today and feeling very lost and worried that I’m not where I should be but thank you for your words everybody
Ahh I feel you! When I was 27 I was in grad school around all these younger folks and they were just happy and could do anything, while I was a 27 year old with a chronic illness who needed to rest and worry about my future in a way they didn’t. It was super positive in the end because it pushed me to get on a much needed antidepressant, but it was also hard cause I’d passed that and I felt sooo behind. I’m 29 now and I’m so glad for that challenge, cause it made me feel more myself in other transitions later (like 2 years working in retail post-Masters and constantly job searching) It built me up in a way I didn’t expected to deal with new things, but god was it hard in the moment. You’ll get there ❤️
I feel like we’ve been cheated a little bit. I really wanted to have a house and a garden and build in the community & it’s just so much more expensive and hard than it ever has been- it feels like I’m stuck in limbo, getting older but not really doing the things I always wanted to do, because they’re still JUST out of reach. And they keep moving a little bit farther away each year.
I'm about to turn 24 and I feel the same. I dread the passing of time, the expectations that come with getting older and the feeling that everything Is getting more difficult and It Will only get worse from now on. I totally get where you're coming from
Thank you for sharing 💖 I relate so much to everything. I'm 24 and I feel robbed on so much due to the pandemic - for example, half my university experience was on distance. There was no graduation ceremony. There is so much that I haven't been able to do, and so many plans that had to be cancelled. My life is SO different now compared to before the pandemic, now I'm graduated and working full time, before I was studying full time. I hate the feeling of not knowing how to make up for lost time. And now, I'm worrying about the future and everything it will bring. I wish time would both go slower and faster.
This video really resonated right now. I turn 22 in two weeks and I graduate university tomorrow a year after finishing my degree (thanks covid). Its strange because, due to finishing when I did and being in the theatre field, I didn't have access to the opportunities I would have done in a regular year. I struggle thinking and accepting that I may not be able to achieve the dreams I wanted, but at the same time I know I'm young and if it wasn't for covid, I wouldn't be at a job that I adore. Man time and aging is weird. Beyond that, sending love Lucy!
I’ve had to pause to comment because THANK YOU. You’ve vocalised my conflicting feelings about ageing and changing as a person impeccably. I’m 26, about to start therapy and whilst I’m really excited about the process I’m about to embark upon, I’m also already apprehensive about the ways in which my thought processes and happiness and feelings about myself and my life are liable to change. Even though I’ve not even started therapy yet, I’m kicking myself for not having done it earlier and for ‘wasting’ time that I could (potentially) have had in my early 20s had I felt less encumbered by myself
So relatable! I’m also 27 and the happiest I’ve ever been. Also feel like the next stage seems out of reach because ~expensive~ but remember that life doesn’t end after your twenties and there’s great things in your life at all ages! So much to look forward to 💫
I stand with you soberiety! I resonate with so much of what you say about your sober journey. I am also 27 and have been sober for 11 months now. Sometimes I feel so alone in this as it doesn't feel like there are many people this age going through this and that is hard to not have someone to bounce off of, so I really appreciate hearing you talk about this and i admire your honesty because i understand how personal this can be. On another note, i have decided to have a sunset swim with flasks of tea to celebrate my one year sober anniversary! Im not sure my friends with understand fully but at least i have their support 😊
I am nearly 50 and a thing I regret so much now is having worried so much about getting old when I was about your age. You are still so young Lucy! please please don't worry now. you have sooo many fantastic years to enjoy in front of you and I can assure you that when you get to my age you feel exactly the same as you do at your age. so you still have 20 years to feel the same feelings and live the same fantastic life 🙂 The only thing that really changes for the worse is the relationship with friends. that is quite tought to deal with I must say.
I turned 30 last month and I feel this so much. I just recently really realized that I no longer envy who I was when I was 22. I love the more actualized person I am now, and that I finally have a career that I love. in some ways it feels like those things came too late, but that's partly the pandemic and partly society telling me that 30 is like the end or something.
I’m 30 in a week and a half and you explained that so well. I’ve been feeling exactly like how you explained for around the last three months. THANK YOU FOR SHARING. I’ve been feeling like I’ve been going crazy, glad to know I’m not on my own.
We’re the same age and I keep going from ‘everything is happening in the way it’s meant to for me’ to spiralling into ‘I haven’t fallen in love, I don’t have children, I don’t own property, I’ve not travelled enough etc.’ Honestly just dealing with my mental and physical well-being, trying to find financial stability and maintaining friendships and a routine is proving more than enough (sometimes too much) for me to manage. I try to be in the moment and enjoy life but anxiety really makes life hard to live. So I completely understand how you’re feeling. I’m still learning who I am and what I actually want. There are a lot of aspects of myself that have been consistent throughout my life and I find a lot of comfort in that. I also find that if I can focus on just what I need to do for myself today then everything feels a bit more manageable. Change and growth are challenging and exciting but we have to allow ourselves grace to say goodbye to our past selves. 💙 Ooh and 30 has never felt tangible to me (25 was the hard one for me and made hard by being near the start of the pandemic) and now I’m staring at my late 20’s filled with uncertainty, anxiety and pride. I didn’t really see myself ever reaching 30, it always felt insurmountable. You can learn so much in that time, so much changes, so much stays the same. At 27, I just want to try and step more out of my comfort zone, try new things, and find a balance in all areas of my life. Everything else will be a bonus! Thank you for sharing how you feel, Lucy.
I'm late to this video but wanted to chime in, from one Lucy to another, on the feeling of lost time. I graduated uni right as the pandemic hit, and two years later, I still feel like I'm stumbling blindly to figure out my career. In reality I know this is how a lot of your professional life goes in your 20s, but still! It feels like everything's going so fast and I'm sprinting to keep up. Social media makes this feeling a million times stronger, I think, especially watching former classmates get married, move to cool places, etc. I'm trying to remember that we all do things at a different pace, but that mindset is easier some days than others.
Honestly, you get to 30 and life is just incredible!!!! We never know who we really are until later I feel, I’m 34 and I have never felt so chilled!! Things get better with time, no need to rush or wish for things you haven’t done , just be excited for all the things that are to come❤️ and of course enjoy the now ❤️
Thank you so much for leaving the last bit in - this is exactly how I’ve felt for the whole of 2022! Late 20s is such a weird place to be, and the pandemic is the big one but I feel like without it I wouldn’t be as self actualized as I am so it is a weird grief/gratitude space to be. I try to think of it positively - that I needed this time and I shouldn’t be rushing into things just because but it helps to see others are in this space too - makes me think we’ll actually all be okay ❤️
I needed this video, I was chronically depressed for most of my 20s, and a complete restart and move was the one thing that helped. I was just starting to figure out who I was before the pandemic and now I'm also starting to consider if I should stop drinking or massively cut down. I feel exhausted starting over(ish) at 28, but it's got to be done!
God Lucy I feel exactly the same! I’m 26, living in a flat share in south London - and all my pals have started getting married and buying homes and it’s totally not what I want for myself right now and I’m happy with where I am, but it can really make it feel like time is getting away from me at breakneck speed. Doesn’t help that the last couple years have felt vaguely stagnant and vacant. Hope you’re feeling better!
Yep. 29 here and feeling seriously unstable and on the cusp. Frustrated about the pandemic and mental health. More unsure of myself than ever. Thank you (and all the commenters) for sharing.
thiiiiiis!! I feel like what you are talking about is an universal feeling right now. Me and my girl friends talk about this a lot lately. Thank you for being open and honest and vulnerable.
I didn't know how much it would make me cry to hear you say all of that and I am unsure why I am crying so hard. Laughing at myself at the same time. Reading all the comments makes it feel like a collective hurt. I'm going to be 36 this year and I quite identify with your optimism and view of situations. I tend to look for good when something unfavorable happens, etc. I have two darling children and I'm just starting to find out who I am and who I want to be again. Motherhood (and society etc) stripped away a lot of my identity in a way but I was privileged enough to be able to choose to stay home and now am also privileged to do things creatively that bring me joy. I am now finding things that make me so happy- books, pottery/ceramics, writing, and trying to focus on myself. The good news is that you come to realize that it all ebbs and flows. Have grace on yourself that who you are is going to evolve and every path you choose will have its gifts that come with it. There is no wrong way to go about it, just that the choices you make are ones that make you happy. I am feeling this for my children now as we are probably done having kids and my baby is going to be 2 in 4 months and my oldest will be 5. I hadn't even thought about myself through this mourning and I hear you and feel you and cried with you as you spoke. I changed so so much in the last two years and I love who I've become as well. I'm a whole new person and I love her but I feel for what you said. Sending hugs and a warm cup of tea. Life will meet you where you want it to and good things are going to continue to come to you. Sorry for the rambling on but I hope that made sense. I love my life at the moment but I definitely had to build myself to get here mentally and as we all change together, there will be parts left behind and new parts added continually.
i’m 27, turning 28, later this year - and i feel like i’m just figuring out who i am and what i want - in a way it makes me feel very lost sometimes. thanks for sharing this - i always try and remember we’re all on different journeys with different timelines!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings on growing older. I have been feeling the same recently, so it's nice to know that I'm not alone in this! I feel like there is so much that I want to do with the rest of my life, but like you I feel like time is running away on me. Just recently, I've turned a (small) corner in this thinking though, so I'm hoping I can start thinking more positively going forward, and just try to 'enjoy the ride' a little bit more. Also - I totally understand your feelings about your fashion choices from one year ago vs now. I'm the same with that too, and it makes me feel sad, but also unsure of myself and what I am choosing to wear these days! I feel like hanging onto the past me (clothing wise), but know that I don't feel comfortable in that anymore, so it's a really strange place to be in. Either way, you looked bloody gorgeous in that floral dress, and all of the other outfits that you've worn throughout this video, so go you!!! Thanks for your video today, and sending love from NZ xxx
It's always just around the corner... Yep. Sums up my constant idealisation of my potential future and over-analysis of whether I'm working hard enough to achieve it or not.
aw Lucy, I feel you girl. I turned 30 in April and it was without a doubt existential. but as I’m settling into this new decade, I’m really understanding that even if I had been given the chance to turn back the clock and be 20 again, I wouldn’t do it… because I am so much wiser and so much more comfortable in my own skin now. Much like yourself, I did a lot of floundering in my 20s ~ didn’t really know who I was, had a strong feeling about what direction to go but didn’t always listen to that intuition… engaged in a lot of self destruction too. I dunno, I think your 20s are so much about getting to know yourself and you are doing just that, so I hope you can see that you are indeed on the right path, dear. Nowadays I’m seeing that the horizon is opening in ways I never could have imagined. It’s scary getting older, not gonna sugar coat it ~ seeing your youth pass behind you is a wild thing to behold… but it’s also a privilege to grow older and the rewards, well, they really are priceless... It’s wild to see all the comments here from young women who struggle with this “turning 30” crisis… I truly felt so alone when I was experiencing it, but clearly it’s an issue many struggle with! I think I kept my fears close to me bec it almost feels shameful to have that social conditioning get to you in such a way, but I think by talking about these things openly it helps break down these constructs. I promise turning 30 is painless! If anything, I feel liberated now that I have that moment behind me. I’m sure when your day comes, you’ll find the quiet relief in it too love ♥️ as always, thank you for sharing
So relatable - I’m 28 (and a half!) and I have such mixed feelings about turning 30. In some ways I feel like I’ve achieved what I wanted to in my 20s but sometimes I can’t help but feel very left behind. This decade is tough, especially during a pandemic and a cost of living crisis. You are not alone!
I'm 26 and that chat is the most relatable thing I've heard from anyone in a long time. You are not alone. It is scary growing up, and having 'missed out' from the pandemic. No advice here I'm afraid, just solidarity and sending love xxx
Not me doing my makeup whilst watching this vlog and getting teary with you at the end and worrying about my makeup running as well 😭Thank you for being so honest and sharing your inner thoughts and worries, it really resonated with me - I think it's a natural part of growing up, it's scary but you're not alone Lucy! Thanks for your authenticity and keep up the amazing work ❤
Hi Lucy, I’ve been watching your videos for years and I’m 23 now having a similar sobriety crisis and I just want to say thank you for sharing that. I felt so seen. It’s so strange that I feel like my life has just started but time is passing so fast and I feel like I have no control
thank you so much for putting this out there. I just turned 26 and I am feeling SO happy about it because I am someone who isn't scared of growing up as to me it's one step closer to all the things I want in life, and I'm also living through some amazing opportunities. But recently I've also started to become disenfranchised with this 'perfect life' concept due to the cost of living crisis and climate change. I've started questioning whether I want kids at all, even though all my life it's been something I've been so excited about. I've started questioning how much I care about all of these things that previously excited me, and that's so scary. I've started wondering similar things such as when will I get a house, get engaged etc when all of this felt so attainable and so close. And I also don't feel like I know who I am yet, but I've changed so much it's scary and amazing. Anyway, all of this to say thank you again for speaking about this, it's one of the first time I've heard anyone say it and I've been reluctant to talk about it and never even post on youtube so this feels cathartic and listening to you made me really happy in a way because we're not alone 💖
I so relate to all of these comments on aging and feeling like we're running out of time. I think often people can minimise your worries and say, "you're not even old, what are you worrying about?". Regardless, the worry is real and ever present and I'm actually so comforted by all these comments that I'm not alone! 27, racing towards 28 in an absolute blur.
I cried with you Lucy. It’s scary, I’m sorry you also feel scared. Time passing is probably the greatest variable outside of our control in life, and being confronted with that is so hard. But we’ve got to try to accept it, not fight it, and ride these feelings out with those we love.
this is SO RELATABLE, thank you so much for sharing and big virtual hug for you! x PS I'm also totally down for seeing the flat hunt one more time (if there will be the space for recording during the process, bc it seems to be even much more stressful in many countries across Europe now than before)
2 года назад
I turned 28 two months ago and I totally understand your viewpoint on aging and turning 30. Additionally, I feel like I hit a plateau at 25 when the pandemic started. I haven't changed that much and am still at the same point in life as I was two years ago.. I'm still single. And my best friend is talking about starting a family with her boyfriend. And I couldn't be happier for her. She deserves the world and more. But then again I find myself crying once in a while how I want to be a mother someday and it feeling like getting more and more improbable as time goes on.. But then again, we don't hear about people struggling that often. I bet there are more people who feel like time is running out than people who have it together in their late 20s.. But it feels good to know that I'm not alone in this
Watching this on my birthday. Totally relatable. Have been thinking how fast time passes. Especially with these years of pandemic. Thinking about that I was just 23 when all started and now turning 26, it’s like if it has been just 1 long day. But eventually many things have been happening and feeling as an updated version of myself.
Mentioning the pandemic and all the things that could have been made me very emotional. I turned 18 just as we hit lockdown. I didn't have prom, My first year of university was wholly online, no freshers week etc. Growing up knowing the traditional route of late teenagehood makes me feel like even though i'm 20, I've not lived as much as I should. It's made me want to go and party now, but being in the last year of university now means I have to grow up. It's hard, but some situations are so much worse than mine.
I do feel the “if I had gotten sober and figured out my life sooner, who knows what I could’ve accomplished.” I think society has trapped us in this mindset because yes, they want us to be good,moral, productive citizens but they also don’t want to support (financially and emotionally) our journey to work through our emotional trauma, ie therapy and self exploration. As young adults living with an antiquated societal pressure; it’s almost impossible to figure out yourself when you’re younger because we don’t really have the support from society to do so, unless you have money and come from a supportive family. Instead, we are pressured to just be okay and drink away our mental problems, until it’s not okay and we have an issue that we struggle with understanding and makes us feel like outsiders.
Thanks so much for that clip Lucy - your thoughts resonate so much with me ("the grass is always greener" I know!!!). I just turned 26 a few months ago and can suddenly feel time ticking like I never have before. I'm really happy with the person I am now but also sad that I wasn't this version of myself when I was like, 20. Hearing you talk about this felt very reassuring so, thanks :) xx
I loved this video so much. Thanks for sharing!!! It made me realize how much I am also starting to panick that I won't have enough time.. And I am 6 years older than you. I also realized that I never used to feel like this because I wasn't enjoying my life, so this may all be a good sign? Best of luck!!
I'm currently flat hunting (Shoreditch/ London Fields/ Islington areas) and I must say misery loves company bc I've loved enjoying you share the struggle on here. Nice to know I'm not alone. Hope you find the perfect place! & yes, the 'growing up' post-pandemic in a crisis ... it's just so hard to connect with your age. But growing up isn't a race, you're doing amazing
The neighborhood in west London you walked through was the first neighborhood of London I set foot in when I visited the city for the first time. It was golden hour then, too, and my mom and I fell in love with the city instantly! ♥️
I think this was the first time I've heard someone voice this specific thing I've been thinking about a lot, about growing and changing and being glad about it, but wondering where I could be now if I had gotten to this version of myself years ago. What if I was at this level of self-assured and independent at 24 instead of 28? Then where would I be now? So I resent how slow the process feels/ how other people seem to have done and been more, but I try to tell myself that I could not have grown into who I am now any faster. I wish I could have, but I did my best at the time. Life IS finite, but those years were not wasted. All the knowledge and experience of those years couldn't have happened without the time, you know? And I do feel that optimism about not knowing what is around the corner, and like there is so much to look forward to. I'm glad you did put that in the video
I finished my apprenticeship 1.5 years ago, kept working there until I moved abroad temporarily. I hoped this would make me get out of my comfort zone again, I hoped this would be something that would make me grow. It didn't. Somehow this was super easy for me, it didn't feel scary from the beginning and I thought I was just too naive. But I wasn't, that night I found out why. I just got an offer, from the one and only college that I want to go to, today. This was my Plan B, because I've been struggeling to find a job since coming back (for good reasons, it has nothing to do with me as a person) and I had this feeling all along that it was going to end up being this way - I've been certain that with my 23rd birthday this October, my life will begin a new chapter. The past four years have been super hard - from what I've known at least - but I also became so secure within myself, I not only live on hope anymore, I *know* it's gonna be good. However it feels like I need to leave this part of myself behind, like a good friend. It's hard to let go, but this is the feeling that I was lacking before moving abroad. This is where growth is going to happen. I know it's gonna be good.
Chiming in to say that getting older isn't all that bad. I'm 30 and I recall having similar thoughts as you when I was your age. Well, now that I'm in my 30s, I've never felt prettier, more confident internally and externally. I'm healthier and a lot wealthier than I was in my 20s. All due to the choices I made in my 20s. I didn't turn into dust when I turned 30. You won't, either. Aging is natural and in fact, I still look like I'm in my 20s and I'm about to turn 31 next month. Your feelings are valid and they are natural. Just know that turning 30 isn't as bad as it seems like. Sending you positive vibes ✨️
I'm 53! And my worst 'aging moment was 29. I was single house sharing in a job that hated me! While my 30's were both extremes of acheivments and lows (bought my own flat, not in London but ended up in another job I hated in the end) ! $0 was the gift! I left crappy job to do second degree then sold flat which had been the only 'good' thing in my life to fund an MA (both in fine art) Now I'm my mother's carer some look at me not having had children or marriage etc as a 'failure' and looking after my mother as drudgry it isn't I actually enjoy it and am making space to make art as well. That journey helped me accept who I am and not see life as tick boxes. Uni/job/relationship/kids/etc but follow my own needs and desires!
Thank you for the vulnerability. We share our age (and nearly our names as well :D), so I wanted to say that I hear you. It feels like the pandemic has robbed us of many things, at the same time it has given us time to reflect. To change. And to grow. Who knows if you would have actually known yourself as well as you do now without it? I probably would not. There are multiple crises accumulating, yet societal pressures remain the same. It is up to us to challenge these though. The conditions have changed, so should the expectations. We are not here to conform to other people's ideas, we are here to figure things out. Maybe we won't make it to the Forbes below 30 chart, retire at 35, become digital nomads for 5 years and travel the world, buy a house with student debt breathing on our necks and wages too low to reach a mortgage. Maybe we decide to do it our own way, hack the system as needed, decide not to have kids or have them when the time feels right (my sister was born when my mum turned 37, so there is still a lot of time if this is a marker you want to pass),... Perhaps not being able to buy a house right away will provide us with an opportunity to explore a bit more and maybe even move somewhere completely different... I mean, who knows. The pandemic has taught us not to plan. And the future is still scary. But also quite blank...it's up to us to decide what we try to draw on our canvases, no matter the mistakes. Sending you hugs. And wish the best of luck :)
I have had to grieve the last 3 years because I had so many exciting life plans. I was planning on doing my Master's online while teaching English in Spain. I was excited to move out of my parent's house and live in Spain with my then boyfriend. Now, I'm 1 year away from graduation with none of my previous plans of travel or relationship, holding place in my future. But, at the same time I'm so excited to be 30. I'm also 27, and I feel as though the best things have yet to come. I feel so much like myself. I have worked so hard to be the best version of myself. I've picked myself up from the darkest places and found new contentment in a slower more peaceful life. That doesn't mean I won't pursue travel and fun experiences; it just means that the mundane has become so important.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability Lucy, I resonate with it alot. I'm turning 27 this year, and it feels particularly scary for me. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life until very recently, I took a leap and in September I'm going back to university to study something that I hope will bring me the fulfilling career I've been looking for. Growing up is scary and difficult, it's nice to read these comments and know I'm not alone.
I turn 24 next week. I have finished college, i work in retail - I live at home and I don’t have a car. I feel everything you said and I constantly say to myself that I’ve got time to live the life I want yet I don’t do anything about it. I don’t know where to start and im scared off all the things I’ll lose when I grow up. I constantly feel like im not achieving enough despite graduating with a masters. And that feeling of envy and that everyone has it so much easier than me. I don’t know what I do with these thoughts and who I can relate to
Hi Lucy! You may not know me but I am smiling and in tears while watching this. I am about to turn 27 in a few days and I just feel you especially the part about getting to know yourself. We will get there. Im starting to accept the fact that we just have to live our life one step at a time and we just have to stop setting timeline for ourselves because for as long as were living, anything is possible. Life is what we make it, as they say.
I feel the same way about feeling mature. I'm not sober, but I've struggled with substance abuse. It's crazy to me as a 25 year old (soon to be 25) to realize that my parents were having me at my age now. I cannot imagine having kids now.
I cannot tell you how much I relate to what you're saying about growing up. I am 26 and also feel much the same. It's hard to feel like you're finally becoming who you always were, and having to say goodbye to things that don't fit with that. I do think it's infinitely harder to be true to yourself as that often means going against much of what society tells us! Also, growing up in these times is tough, I often feel like I'm being prevented from growing up fully. Even though I've done all the 'right' things, gone to uni, got a well paying job - I still can't afford to have my own home and own space. People our age can't actualise ourselves as adults beyond doing things like as you say buy nice towels! I don't have much to say here but, solidarity ✌♥ optimism always :)
I'm also going to be 27 in a couple weeks and I'm going to be finishing the last year of my degree where after I'll be having entering a real big girl adult career. It feels very daunting because once I reach that point I know my life will change a lot, and I do feel myself mourning a lot of possibilities that could have happened if I decided to pursue a different career. Yes, I could switch careers eventually, but financially I'll need to stick it out for at least a few years. Additionally, even if I love it and feel like I made the right decision, I still think there will be a part of me that mourns another career that I would have loved to do but didn't find financially feasible.
Just want to say, life doesn't have to change drastically because of aging/settling down/having a family (all the things we associate with the big three oh!) if you don't want it to! I definitely felt the aging panic at 29 last year, so I had a baby quite impromptu and never looked back! We do all the same things we did before but bring him along with us. I love aging and my new role. Just constantly learning and it's the most wholesome I've ever felt. 💓
Women are sold that we should strive to “have it all” and the cold hard reality is that no one ever does, and we don’t need to feel so bad about it! We just need to make the best decisions we can and try to appreciate the moments we are in
It is completely normal to find yourself in a really weird spot in those last years of your twenties. You dont feel old but you don't feel young either. You feel more you than you ever have felt but also you are on a quest for meaning and purpose. Let me ruin the surprise, it all works out. You end up on the other side of 30 and surprisingly you are still you and you find things are better than ever. Don't fear the other side, it is indeed a good and safe place for you.
What you mentioned about the cost of living crisis and its impact on the timelines of our generation's milestones, I think that is a thing that we around the age of 30 are collectively aware of and all mourning in a way. We feel betrayed by what we've been taught and told about life, work, adulthood, money, because for most of us, these things are no longer true in our times. It is very difficult to be a young adult and become independent and fulfilled in a landscape that is so different and, for most of us, less fertile ground than it was for our parents. In some ways, every generation faces becoming an adult in a world that is different to the one they've experienced growing up, but in our case, there is no doubt the financial restrictions and burdens are as high as they haven't been in about a century. I think we need to try and free ourselves from our expectations of adult life, our parents' expectations... and find new things that match the times... the level of individual wealth that our parents' generation is holding on average in western countries is CLEARLY not sustainable for the following generations. So we are the ones suffering from that shift, but also the ones carrying a lot of responsibility and power to help make that shift and think in new ways!
I've been looking for a video about this. I've been chronically ill the last 5 years so I had to quit uni and my job and I've felt so scared that I'll never be able to live the life I want and that I've missed out on so much, I try to be hopeful and focus on the positive, but it's helpful to know other people even without chronic illnesses feel the same way ❤
Girl if you feel you have started to crack it in terms of finding/ understanding yourself at 27… you are smashing it 😝👏🏼 I understand what you mean re this wistful feeling I am starting to get this a little now at 37… have to remind myself I am right where I need to be 🙏🏻 xxx
Lucy, the market now in London for flats is absolute ass so yes, I'd love a video on that and your journey through navigating the astronomical prices but also trying to find something that you liek
I feel like I'm experiencing all the worst parts of being an adult. First the pandemic came when I was just about ready to explore my freedom, and while that was ongoing my mom died pretty suddenly last year, just before I had to start writing my bachelor. After I managed to finish my degree with a 3 month extension I was gonna start looking for jobs, but suddenly I was burnt out and couldn't do anything. I just feel so stuck, like both my mind and body is working against me, and I've lost all sense of who I am.
Echoing the comments from all the 30+ year olds. How you feel is pretty normal at your age. I felt the same. I’m 32 in London and most the people my age are doing those traditional “big things” (mainly flat buying and weddings) around 34/35. Not sure if that helps at all, but you’ll become even more confident and rounded and might want completely different things once you get there as well. You’ve got this 💕
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I felt the same way you do about running out of time until very recently. I did run out of time, literally, my whole life ended last August when my fiancé died very suddenly and unexpectedly. I lost everything I had ever planned for and dreamed of. I was 'on track' to do all the things you're told as a woman you should do before you're 30 - I had a wonderful man who I loved, who I was months from marrying, we were were half way through buying our first home together, we were half way through IVF and due to have a baby should all have gone well, well before my 29th birthday. I am now 5 months from my 30th birthday. I've rebuilt a lot of my life, it's not ended, and I still have time to do things, and to change my plans and my life again. The saying 'you only live once' is wrong - you live so many lives in our time of being alive. You have time to live and try things and new versions of you.
I’m so sorry to hear about your fiancé, I’m really glad you’re doing okay now 🤍
Sending you so much love
this is such a beautiful way to look at life, thank you for this comment :) Wishing you all the best!
Thank you so much for sharing. Stay strong.
I am so sorry for your loss and so glad you're rebuilding. Thank you for sharing this!!
I remember being 29 and realizing that time was passing and I was being the actualized version of the choices I'd made earlier in life. It is scary and we're told that once you hit 30 you're worth as a woman disappears but that's not true at all. I'm 31 now and happier than I ever have been. I would say I have more value even than a younger me because I have experience and authenticity to offer people in my life now.
I just turned 30 and couldn’t agree more.
Could not agree MORE with this!! I'm 35 and the happiest and most truest version of myself I have ever been 🥰 Here's to embracing your 30's, 40's and beyond ❤️
You were just as valuable back then as you are now, you've just realized your value now! 30s is great but I do miss the metabolism and lack of body aches from my 20s!
@@stefflores such a great point!! You are absolutely right!
Needed to see this! 💓 just turned 29 and am spiraling and horrified but trying to remain optimistic
I just turned 36 in May, which means I’m suddenly closer to 40 than I am to 30, and it’s certainly a surreal thing to feel time pass by. For a while it felt like I was constantly pushing forward-in relationships, in my education, in my career-and I now I find that I’m in a place where I’ve achieved a lot of the goals I set out for myself and am wondering what’s next. It feels odd, to be more in tune with who I am, but to be faced with a whole new set of possibilities about what my life will look like from here on out. Will I move somewhere tranquil? Exotic? Will I progress in my career even further? Will I decide to have a family or stick with my decision to be childless? It all feels so fast and slow, so dire and inconsequential, so liberating and boring and comforting and maddening. I think life just feels like this sometimes. We wish for what we don’t have, long for what we could have had, are homesick for the things we have while we have them. I hope time feels slower for you soon, and I hope you can keep finding who you are. The world is big, and so are our souls.
This is such a soothing comment to read. Wishing you the absolute best!
This is such a beautiful response
At 36, your child birth options are limited. Find a man 10 years your senior & make the best of the situation.
I’m nearer to 60! Ever year I learn more about myself and I worry less about what people think about me ! Embrace life
I’m sure your grandchildren love you!!
Lucy, I’m 52. Growing up never stops and life can be full at every stage. Getting out of your 20’s is when you start really being aware of time passing: make it count, live it to the fullest! And the small moments, even ordinary ones can be the best.
I just turned 24 and I'm currently having to find a new place to live and a new job before starting at a new uni in September. And I've been trying to, since May. But the world right now is so full of walls too high yet provide no shade from the 40° heat and no shelter from the relentless costs of living. And I keep finding myself getting so emotional that my 20's had to be now, at this point in history. Why now? How am I expected to lay the foundations for my life when the earth threatens to swallow me whole. I want to relish the time I have left to be carefree and reckless but there's always so much at risk even when I'm careful so I can't take any chances. So I'm not having my experiences. So I'm not learning all my lessons. I cannot figure out who I am, and live in survival mode. It is an awful time to be in our 20's.
Something that really struck me was how you spoke about the odd bittersweetness that comes with being the happiest you've ever been. I realised I was the happiest I've ever been, that maybe this is the first time I've been truly happy, standing in the freezer section of a Lidl! I felt such joy, but also a wave of grief for the past two decades of my life, a childhood spent without contentedness. I'm learning that this is my role now: to allow that grief to surface, to be the adult child-me needed, to tell them it's okay that they are not happy, but that we found our route to happiness. It's also frightening to know that this version of me is part of a fleeting string of people as I grow and change, so I think I find comfort in knowing future me will be leading us further into life filled with joy
well said ❤️
I am only 22 and yet I relate to thinking of what could have happened if I have lived my life better before. The last 6 years have been wasted with having struggled with social anxiety all throughout uni, then being in lockdowns and working remotely, and now my country literally being at war. And I am only realising this now. But there’s hope.
It's really comforting to have someone talk about what it's like to be 27 right now. I realized listening to you how much I want to see this experience reflected and talked about. That little clip resonated deeply. I would love to watch a whole series about people figuring out their late twenties in the midst of all this, or just hear more of your thoughts. Thank you for opening up!
Also, re: mourning being sober in your 20s - it feels like such a loss when you start but then you meet more friends who are also sober or just de-emphasize drinking, and then you start to realize that it is the ultimate life-hack. It gets so much better!
I remember being nervous about turning 30, but I am now 34 and feel that I know myself better than ever. Who I am, what I want, how to stand up for myself. I am not where I’d like to be in terms of my relationship, buying a home, etc but I try not to be too hard on myself. Trust me, you’ve got plenty of time 💕
Female fertility hits a wall in your late 30s. Women are born with value which evaporated by 40. Creating value takes a lifetime.
this is the most wholesome comment section ever! sending love to all you wonderful women and thank you lucy for sharing your vulnerability ❤️
i recently turned 26 and i feel this way. like logically i know i'm young but it feels as though time is slipping away. so much i want to do and to achieve and yet i feel stagnant, like i'm watching things happen. so much of my life feels like it's been lost to mental illness and now the pandemic too. it's sad.
I feel exactly the same! I also turned 26 recently and struggle a lot with these thoughts
I also feel like I've lost most of my life to mental illness and that I'm many steps behind my peers with a whole lot of catching up to do. I know I can't wait to be better though, as this is just part of who I am. We have to break the stagnancy somehow! Good luck 💕
I’m going to turn 30 in 3 weeks and I feel the same way. I’m very happy with my life now, I don’t have a partner, don’t have a job, just finished studying and live in a house with friends. I’m ticking none of the traditional boxes for my age and I somehow feel guilty about that even though I really am happy, it’s so weird. I also wish I had known myself better earlier, believed that I deserved good things, and that younger me wasn’t such a people pleaser… But I’m so happy with how far I’ve come, and I am building a great life for myself. I don’t know where I’m going with this, but yes, I do feel the same !
Covid really made it feel like we lost the past few years. I just turned 27 and it's weird to think that my mid 20s are now gone. I actually welcome aging and growing into my more mature self, but I still feel that sense of time rushing faster than we can run! I think Covid has more of an impact on that for 20-somethings as we tend to live a more social life (not as established so we have more frequent outings with friends, etc). So it's like we blinked, endured this immense stress pressure-cooker in survival mode, then woke up and realized we are not who we were before the pandemic started. It's so odd. It's a lurch.
Thank you for being so honest Lucy, I am turning 29 this year and I do feel like this sometimes too. Some months ago my best friend announced that she was pregnant, I got so emotional she thought I was crying of happiness but I was crying because I just felt scared I am not where I should be in life, or I don´t feel as adult as them. Hopefully we will all figure it out soon! A big hug from Barcelona!
Oh Lucy.. I don't know if you'll read this but- I'm 33 now. I remember being 27, I remember being so scared of time passing..but I hit 30 and it was like.. a switch flicked? like suddenly the fear was gone, and I was so so happy with where I was. And I still am. i don't feel like i've fun out of time, I feel like I have so much left to live and I have so much better of a grasp on who I am and where I want to be. Our world puts so much of a focus on our 20s and I find its so foolish- we aren't done becoming adults yet! I don't think you have to fear 30, or even 40-50-60 beyond. Its normal to just be finding who you are at 27, and its okay! I hope that hearing from someone past 30, that life feels *so* much better now, brightens at least someones day. I'm the happiest I have ever been, and I will only keep getting happier.
32 here and couldn't agree more
I love that 🥰 I know this wasn’t addressed to me but it helps
Same, I'm 35 and genuinely happy for the first time since I was a little kid.
100% agree with this! I’d say I spent from 25-29 worrying about getting older and time passing me by, but then literally as soon as I turned 30 suddenly it all just stopped mattering! It’s so bizarre that so many people feel the same. I’m 33 now and am the happiest and most content I’ve ever been and truly believe this decade will be so so much better than my 20’s!
The comment section has been so great for me, I turned 28 today and feeling very lost and worried that I’m not where I should be but thank you for your words everybody
Awh happy birthday!
Happy birthday 🤍
Ahh I feel you! When I was 27 I was in grad school around all these younger folks and they were just happy and could do anything, while I was a 27 year old with a chronic illness who needed to rest and worry about my future in a way they didn’t. It was super positive in the end because it pushed me to get on a much needed antidepressant, but it was also hard cause I’d passed that and I felt sooo behind. I’m 29 now and I’m so glad for that challenge, cause it made me feel more myself in other transitions later (like 2 years working in retail post-Masters and constantly job searching) It built me up in a way I didn’t expected to deal with new things, but god was it hard in the moment. You’ll get there ❤️
I feel like we’ve been cheated a little bit. I really wanted to have a house and a garden and build in the community & it’s just so much more expensive and hard than it ever has been- it feels like I’m stuck in limbo, getting older but not really doing the things I always wanted to do, because they’re still JUST out of reach. And they keep moving a little bit farther away each year.
I'm about to turn 24 and I feel the same. I dread the passing of time, the expectations that come with getting older and the feeling that everything Is getting more difficult and It Will only get worse from now on.
I totally get where you're coming from
Thank you for sharing 💖 I relate so much to everything. I'm 24 and I feel robbed on so much due to the pandemic - for example, half my university experience was on distance. There was no graduation ceremony. There is so much that I haven't been able to do, and so many plans that had to be cancelled. My life is SO different now compared to before the pandemic, now I'm graduated and working full time, before I was studying full time. I hate the feeling of not knowing how to make up for lost time. And now, I'm worrying about the future and everything it will bring. I wish time would both go slower and faster.
This video really resonated right now. I turn 22 in two weeks and I graduate university tomorrow a year after finishing my degree (thanks covid). Its strange because, due to finishing when I did and being in the theatre field, I didn't have access to the opportunities I would have done in a regular year. I struggle thinking and accepting that I may not be able to achieve the dreams I wanted, but at the same time I know I'm young and if it wasn't for covid, I wouldn't be at a job that I adore. Man time and aging is weird. Beyond that, sending love Lucy!
god lucy i could sob at this i resonate so much it is just so hard but we’re so lucky to be here i hope you’re feeling okay
I’ve had to pause to comment because THANK YOU. You’ve vocalised my conflicting feelings about ageing and changing as a person impeccably. I’m 26, about to start therapy and whilst I’m really excited about the process I’m about to embark upon, I’m also already apprehensive about the ways in which my thought processes and happiness and feelings about myself and my life are liable to change. Even though I’ve not even started therapy yet, I’m kicking myself for not having done it earlier and for ‘wasting’ time that I could (potentially) have had in my early 20s had I felt less encumbered by myself
So relatable! I’m also 27 and the happiest I’ve ever been. Also feel like the next stage seems out of reach because ~expensive~ but remember that life doesn’t end after your twenties and there’s great things in your life at all ages! So much to look forward to 💫
I stand with you soberiety! I resonate with so much of what you say about your sober journey. I am also 27 and have been sober for 11 months now. Sometimes I feel so alone in this as it doesn't feel like there are many people this age going through this and that is hard to not have someone to bounce off of, so I really appreciate hearing you talk about this and i admire your honesty because i understand how personal this can be. On another note, i have decided to have a sunset swim with flasks of tea to celebrate my one year sober anniversary! Im not sure my friends with understand fully but at least i have their support 😊
I am nearly 50 and a thing I regret so much now is having worried so much about getting old when I was about your age. You are still so young Lucy! please please don't worry now. you have sooo many fantastic years to enjoy in front of you and I can assure you that when you get to my age you feel exactly the same as you do at your age. so you still have 20 years to feel the same feelings and live the same fantastic life 🙂 The only thing that really changes for the worse is the relationship with friends. that is quite tought to deal with I must say.
I turned 30 last month and I feel this so much. I just recently really realized that I no longer envy who I was when I was 22. I love the more actualized person I am now, and that I finally have a career that I love. in some ways it feels like those things came too late, but that's partly the pandemic and partly society telling me that 30 is like the end or something.
I'm 26 & I relate to this so much! I'm not at all where I thought I'd be at this point in my life & it feels like time is moving so quickly!
I’m 30 in a week and a half and you explained that so well. I’ve been feeling exactly like how you explained for around the last three months. THANK YOU FOR SHARING. I’ve been feeling like I’ve been going crazy, glad to know I’m not on my own.
We’re the same age and I keep going from ‘everything is happening in the way it’s meant to for me’ to spiralling into ‘I haven’t fallen in love, I don’t have children, I don’t own property, I’ve not travelled enough etc.’ Honestly just dealing with my mental and physical well-being, trying to find financial stability and maintaining friendships and a routine is proving more than enough (sometimes too much) for me to manage. I try to be in the moment and enjoy life but anxiety really makes life hard to live. So I completely understand how you’re feeling. I’m still learning who I am and what I actually want. There are a lot of aspects of myself that have been consistent throughout my life and I find a lot of comfort in that. I also find that if I can focus on just what I need to do for myself today then everything feels a bit more manageable. Change and growth are challenging and exciting but we have to allow ourselves grace to say goodbye to our past selves. 💙 Ooh and 30 has never felt tangible to me (25 was the hard one for me and made hard by being near the start of the pandemic) and now I’m staring at my late 20’s filled with uncertainty, anxiety and pride. I didn’t really see myself ever reaching 30, it always felt insurmountable. You can learn so much in that time, so much changes, so much stays the same. At 27, I just want to try and step more out of my comfort zone, try new things, and find a balance in all areas of my life. Everything else will be a bonus! Thank you for sharing how you feel, Lucy.
I'm late to this video but wanted to chime in, from one Lucy to another, on the feeling of lost time. I graduated uni right as the pandemic hit, and two years later, I still feel like I'm stumbling blindly to figure out my career. In reality I know this is how a lot of your professional life goes in your 20s, but still! It feels like everything's going so fast and I'm sprinting to keep up. Social media makes this feeling a million times stronger, I think, especially watching former classmates get married, move to cool places, etc. I'm trying to remember that we all do things at a different pace, but that mindset is easier some days than others.
Honestly, you get to 30 and life is just incredible!!!! We never know who we really are until later I feel, I’m 34 and I have never felt so chilled!! Things get better with time, no need to rush or wish for things you haven’t done , just be excited for all the things that are to come❤️ and of course enjoy the now ❤️
Thank you so much for leaving the last bit in - this is exactly how I’ve felt for the whole of 2022! Late 20s is such a weird place to be, and the pandemic is the big one but I feel like without it I wouldn’t be as self actualized as I am so it is a weird grief/gratitude space to be. I try to think of it positively - that I needed this time and I shouldn’t be rushing into things just because but it helps to see others are in this space too - makes me think we’ll actually all be okay ❤️
I totally feel you. I just turned 27 beginning of the month. Truly appreciate your vulnerability, you're not alone. Sending love!
Thank you so much for this Lucy. So comforting to know others feel this way. We are all learning and growing. Love your videos!
I needed this video, I was chronically depressed for most of my 20s, and a complete restart and move was the one thing that helped. I was just starting to figure out who I was before the pandemic and now I'm also starting to consider if I should stop drinking or massively cut down. I feel exhausted starting over(ish) at 28, but it's got to be done!
God Lucy I feel exactly the same! I’m 26, living in a flat share in south London - and all my pals have started getting married and buying homes and it’s totally not what I want for myself right now and I’m happy with where I am, but it can really make it feel like time is getting away from me at breakneck speed. Doesn’t help that the last couple years have felt vaguely stagnant and vacant. Hope you’re feeling better!
Yep. 29 here and feeling seriously unstable and on the cusp. Frustrated about the pandemic and mental health. More unsure of myself than ever. Thank you (and all the commenters) for sharing.
thiiiiiis!! I feel like what you are talking about is an universal feeling right now. Me and my girl friends talk about this a lot lately. Thank you for being open and honest and vulnerable.
I didn't know how much it would make me cry to hear you say all of that and I am unsure why I am crying so hard. Laughing at myself at the same time. Reading all the comments makes it feel like a collective hurt. I'm going to be 36 this year and I quite identify with your optimism and view of situations. I tend to look for good when something unfavorable happens, etc. I have two darling children and I'm just starting to find out who I am and who I want to be again. Motherhood (and society etc) stripped away a lot of my identity in a way but I was privileged enough to be able to choose to stay home and now am also privileged to do things creatively that bring me joy. I am now finding things that make me so happy- books, pottery/ceramics, writing, and trying to focus on myself. The good news is that you come to realize that it all ebbs and flows. Have grace on yourself that who you are is going to evolve and every path you choose will have its gifts that come with it. There is no wrong way to go about it, just that the choices you make are ones that make you happy. I am feeling this for my children now as we are probably done having kids and my baby is going to be 2 in 4 months and my oldest will be 5. I hadn't even thought about myself through this mourning and I hear you and feel you and cried with you as you spoke. I changed so so much in the last two years and I love who I've become as well. I'm a whole new person and I love her but I feel for what you said. Sending hugs and a warm cup of tea. Life will meet you where you want it to and good things are going to continue to come to you. Sorry for the rambling on but I hope that made sense. I love my life at the moment but I definitely had to build myself to get here mentally and as we all change together, there will be parts left behind and new parts added continually.
i’m 27, turning 28, later this year - and i feel like i’m just figuring out who i am and what i want - in a way it makes me feel very lost sometimes. thanks for sharing this - i always try and remember we’re all on different journeys with different timelines!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings on growing older. I have been feeling the same recently, so it's nice to know that I'm not alone in this! I feel like there is so much that I want to do with the rest of my life, but like you I feel like time is running away on me. Just recently, I've turned a (small) corner in this thinking though, so I'm hoping I can start thinking more positively going forward, and just try to 'enjoy the ride' a little bit more.
Also - I totally understand your feelings about your fashion choices from one year ago vs now. I'm the same with that too, and it makes me feel sad, but also unsure of myself and what I am choosing to wear these days! I feel like hanging onto the past me (clothing wise), but know that I don't feel comfortable in that anymore, so it's a really strange place to be in.
Either way, you looked bloody gorgeous in that floral dress, and all of the other outfits that you've worn throughout this video, so go you!!!
Thanks for your video today, and sending love from NZ xxx
It's always just around the corner...
Yep. Sums up my constant idealisation of my potential future and over-analysis of whether I'm working hard enough to achieve it or not.
aw Lucy, I feel you girl. I turned 30 in April and it was without a doubt existential. but as I’m settling into this new decade, I’m really understanding that even if I had been given the chance to turn back the clock and be 20 again, I wouldn’t do it… because I am so much wiser and so much more comfortable in my own skin now. Much like yourself, I did a lot of floundering in my 20s ~ didn’t really know who I was, had a strong feeling about what direction to go but didn’t always listen to that intuition… engaged in a lot of self destruction too. I dunno, I think your 20s are so much about getting to know yourself and you are doing just that, so I hope you can see that you are indeed on the right path, dear. Nowadays I’m seeing that the horizon is opening in ways I never could have imagined. It’s scary getting older, not gonna sugar coat it ~ seeing your youth pass behind you is a wild thing to behold… but it’s also a privilege to grow older and the rewards, well, they really are priceless... It’s wild to see all the comments here from young women who struggle with this “turning 30” crisis… I truly felt so alone when I was experiencing it, but clearly it’s an issue many struggle with! I think I kept my fears close to me bec it almost feels shameful to have that social conditioning get to you in such a way, but I think by talking about these things openly it helps break down these constructs. I promise turning 30 is painless! If anything, I feel liberated now that I have that moment behind me. I’m sure when your day comes, you’ll find the quiet relief in it too love ♥️ as always, thank you for sharing
So relatable - I’m 28 (and a half!) and I have such mixed feelings about turning 30. In some ways I feel like I’ve achieved what I wanted to in my 20s but sometimes I can’t help but feel very left behind. This decade is tough, especially during a pandemic and a cost of living crisis. You are not alone!
Yes please for the apartment hunting video! 😍😍 That would be so helpful right now xx
I shed a wee tear at the end there! I did not expect that for my Sunday evening, but I empathise completely.
I'm 26 and that chat is the most relatable thing I've heard from anyone in a long time. You are not alone. It is scary growing up, and having 'missed out' from the pandemic. No advice here I'm afraid, just solidarity and sending love xxx
Not me doing my makeup whilst watching this vlog and getting teary with you at the end and worrying about my makeup running as well 😭Thank you for being so honest and sharing your inner thoughts and worries, it really resonated with me - I think it's a natural part of growing up, it's scary but you're not alone Lucy! Thanks for your authenticity and keep up the amazing work ❤
Hi Lucy, I’ve been watching your videos for years and I’m 23 now having a similar sobriety crisis and I just want to say thank you for sharing that. I felt so seen. It’s so strange that I feel like my life has just started but time is passing so fast and I feel like I have no control
thank you so much for putting this out there. I just turned 26 and I am feeling SO happy about it because I am someone who isn't scared of growing up as to me it's one step closer to all the things I want in life, and I'm also living through some amazing opportunities. But recently I've also started to become disenfranchised with this 'perfect life' concept due to the cost of living crisis and climate change. I've started questioning whether I want kids at all, even though all my life it's been something I've been so excited about. I've started questioning how much I care about all of these things that previously excited me, and that's so scary. I've started wondering similar things such as when will I get a house, get engaged etc when all of this felt so attainable and so close. And I also don't feel like I know who I am yet, but I've changed so much it's scary and amazing.
Anyway, all of this to say thank you again for speaking about this, it's one of the first time I've heard anyone say it and I've been reluctant to talk about it and never even post on youtube so this feels cathartic and listening to you made me really happy in a way because we're not alone 💖
I so relate to all of these comments on aging and feeling like we're running out of time. I think often people can minimise your worries and say, "you're not even old, what are you worrying about?". Regardless, the worry is real and ever present and I'm actually so comforted by all these comments that I'm not alone! 27, racing towards 28 in an absolute blur.
I turn 27 very soon and I can relate to every word and feeling you talked about. Thank you for sharing this with us. I hope we all find peace soon xx
I’m only 24 but lost my mid/late teens to illness and my early twenties to covid. I feel this deeply. 💖
I cried with you Lucy. It’s scary, I’m sorry you also feel scared. Time passing is probably the greatest variable outside of our control in life, and being confronted with that is so hard. But we’ve got to try to accept it, not fight it, and ride these feelings out with those we love.
this is SO RELATABLE, thank you so much for sharing and big virtual hug for you! x
PS I'm also totally down for seeing the flat hunt one more time (if there will be the space for recording during the process, bc it seems to be even much more stressful in many countries across Europe now than before)
I turned 28 two months ago and I totally understand your viewpoint on aging and turning 30.
Additionally, I feel like I hit a plateau at 25 when the pandemic started. I haven't changed that much and am still at the same point in life as I was two years ago.. I'm still single. And my best friend is talking about starting a family with her boyfriend. And I couldn't be happier for her. She deserves the world and more.
But then again I find myself crying once in a while how I want to be a mother someday and it feeling like getting more and more improbable as time goes on..
But then again, we don't hear about people struggling that often. I bet there are more people who feel like time is running out than people who have it together in their late 20s..
But it feels good to know that I'm not alone in this
Your vulnerability is so inspiring -- thank you
Watching this on my birthday. Totally relatable. Have been thinking how fast time passes. Especially with these years of pandemic. Thinking about that I was just 23 when all started and now turning 26, it’s like if it has been just 1 long day. But eventually many things have been happening and feeling as an updated version of myself.
Mentioning the pandemic and all the things that could have been made me very emotional. I turned 18 just as we hit lockdown. I didn't have prom, My first year of university was wholly online, no freshers week etc. Growing up knowing the traditional route of late teenagehood makes me feel like even though i'm 20, I've not lived as much as I should. It's made me want to go and party now, but being in the last year of university now means I have to grow up. It's hard, but some situations are so much worse than mine.
I do feel the “if I had gotten sober and figured out my life sooner, who knows what I could’ve accomplished.” I think society has trapped us in this mindset because yes, they want us to be good,moral, productive citizens but they also don’t want to support (financially and emotionally) our journey to work through our emotional trauma, ie therapy and self exploration. As young adults living with an antiquated societal pressure; it’s almost impossible to figure out yourself when you’re younger because we don’t really have the support from society to do so, unless you have money and come from a supportive family. Instead, we are pressured to just be okay and drink away our mental problems, until it’s not okay and we have an issue that we struggle with understanding and makes us feel like outsiders.
Thanks so much for that clip Lucy - your thoughts resonate so much with me ("the grass is always greener" I know!!!). I just turned 26 a few months ago and can suddenly feel time ticking like I never have before. I'm really happy with the person I am now but also sad that I wasn't this version of myself when I was like, 20. Hearing you talk about this felt very reassuring so, thanks :) xx
I loved this video so much. Thanks for sharing!!! It made me realize how much I am also starting to panick that I won't have enough time.. And I am 6 years older than you. I also realized that I never used to feel like this because I wasn't enjoying my life, so this may all be a good sign? Best of luck!!
I just had the same "I don't wanna grow up" crisis this weekend, so, sending you lots of love and empathy dear Lucy 💖
Does every woman feel the same way at 29? I certainly am. Weirdest age to be so far in life. By the way this vlog was beautifully filmed as always.
I'm currently flat hunting (Shoreditch/ London Fields/ Islington areas) and I must say misery loves company bc I've loved enjoying you share the struggle on here. Nice to know I'm not alone. Hope you find the perfect place!
& yes, the 'growing up' post-pandemic in a crisis ... it's just so hard to connect with your age. But growing up isn't a race, you're doing amazing
The neighborhood in west London you walked through was the first neighborhood of London I set foot in when I visited the city for the first time. It was golden hour then, too, and my mom and I fell in love with the city instantly! ♥️
I think this was the first time I've heard someone voice this specific thing I've been thinking about a lot, about growing and changing and being glad about it, but wondering where I could be now if I had gotten to this version of myself years ago. What if I was at this level of self-assured and independent at 24 instead of 28? Then where would I be now? So I resent how slow the process feels/ how other people seem to have done and been more, but I try to tell myself that I could not have grown into who I am now any faster. I wish I could have, but I did my best at the time. Life IS finite, but those years were not wasted. All the knowledge and experience of those years couldn't have happened without the time, you know? And I do feel that optimism about not knowing what is around the corner, and like there is so much to look forward to. I'm glad you did put that in the video
I finished my apprenticeship 1.5 years ago, kept working there until I moved abroad temporarily. I hoped this would make me get out of my comfort zone again, I hoped this would be something that would make me grow. It didn't. Somehow this was super easy for me, it didn't feel scary from the beginning and I thought I was just too naive. But I wasn't, that night I found out why. I just got an offer, from the one and only college that I want to go to, today. This was my Plan B, because I've been struggeling to find a job since coming back (for good reasons, it has nothing to do with me as a person) and I had this feeling all along that it was going to end up being this way - I've been certain that with my 23rd birthday this October, my life will begin a new chapter. The past four years have been super hard - from what I've known at least - but I also became so secure within myself, I not only live on hope anymore, I *know* it's gonna be good. However it feels like I need to leave this part of myself behind, like a good friend. It's hard to let go, but this is the feeling that I was lacking before moving abroad. This is where growth is going to happen. I know it's gonna be good.
Chiming in to say that getting older isn't all that bad.
I'm 30 and I recall having similar thoughts as you when I was your age. Well, now that I'm in my 30s, I've never felt prettier, more confident internally and externally. I'm healthier and a lot wealthier than I was in my 20s. All due to the choices I made in my 20s.
I didn't turn into dust when I turned 30. You won't, either. Aging is natural and in fact, I still look like I'm in my 20s and I'm about to turn 31 next month.
Your feelings are valid and they are natural. Just know that turning 30 isn't as bad as it seems like. Sending you positive vibes ✨️
I'm 53! And my worst 'aging moment was 29. I was single house sharing in a job that hated me! While my 30's were both extremes of acheivments and lows (bought my own flat, not in London but ended up in another job I hated in the end) ! $0 was the gift! I left crappy job to do second degree then sold flat which had been the only 'good' thing in my life to fund an MA (both in fine art) Now I'm my mother's carer some look at me not having had children or marriage etc as a 'failure' and looking after my mother as drudgry it isn't I actually enjoy it and am making space to make art as well. That journey helped me accept who I am and not see life as tick boxes. Uni/job/relationship/kids/etc but follow my own needs and desires!
Thank you for the vulnerability. We share our age (and nearly our names as well :D), so I wanted to say that I hear you. It feels like the pandemic has robbed us of many things, at the same time it has given us time to reflect. To change. And to grow. Who knows if you would have actually known yourself as well as you do now without it? I probably would not. There are multiple crises accumulating, yet societal pressures remain the same. It is up to us to challenge these though. The conditions have changed, so should the expectations. We are not here to conform to other people's ideas, we are here to figure things out. Maybe we won't make it to the Forbes below 30 chart, retire at 35, become digital nomads for 5 years and travel the world, buy a house with student debt breathing on our necks and wages too low to reach a mortgage. Maybe we decide to do it our own way, hack the system as needed, decide not to have kids or have them when the time feels right (my sister was born when my mum turned 37, so there is still a lot of time if this is a marker you want to pass),... Perhaps not being able to buy a house right away will provide us with an opportunity to explore a bit more and maybe even move somewhere completely different... I mean, who knows. The pandemic has taught us not to plan. And the future is still scary. But also quite blank...it's up to us to decide what we try to draw on our canvases, no matter the mistakes. Sending you hugs. And wish the best of luck :)
I have had to grieve the last 3 years because I had so many exciting life plans. I was planning on doing my Master's online while teaching English in Spain. I was excited to move out of my parent's house and live in Spain with my then boyfriend. Now, I'm 1 year away from graduation with none of my previous plans of travel or relationship, holding place in my future. But, at the same time I'm so excited to be 30.
I'm also 27, and I feel as though the best things have yet to come. I feel so much like myself. I have worked so hard to be the best version of myself. I've picked myself up from the darkest places and found new contentment in a slower more peaceful life. That doesn't mean I won't pursue travel and fun experiences; it just means that the mundane has become so important.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability Lucy, I resonate with it alot. I'm turning 27 this year, and it feels particularly scary for me. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life until very recently, I took a leap and in September I'm going back to university to study something that I hope will bring me the fulfilling career I've been looking for. Growing up is scary and difficult, it's nice to read these comments and know I'm not alone.
Lucy, thank you for sharing your feelings with us. It is so important, especially since it is so relatable!
I turn 24 next week. I have finished college, i work in retail - I live at home and I don’t have a car. I feel everything you said and I constantly say to myself that I’ve got time to live the life I want yet I don’t do anything about it. I don’t know where to start and im scared off all the things I’ll lose when I grow up. I constantly feel like im not achieving enough despite graduating with a masters. And that feeling of envy and that everyone has it so much easier than me. I don’t know what I do with these thoughts and who I can relate to
I relate to you, you're not alone!
I'm the same age as you and I feel the same, I think it's normal
Hi Lucy! You may not know me but I am smiling and in tears while watching this. I am about to turn 27 in a few days and I just feel you especially the part about getting to know yourself. We will get there. Im starting to accept the fact that we just have to live our life one step at a time and we just have to stop setting timeline for ourselves because for as long as were living, anything is possible. Life is what we make it, as they say.
I feel the same way about feeling mature. I'm not sober, but I've struggled with substance abuse. It's crazy to me as a 25 year old (soon to be 25) to realize that my parents were having me at my age now. I cannot imagine having kids now.
Yesss to the apartment hunting video!!
This a very beautiful and relatable video thanks for sharing Lucy
I feel this... having just turned 29 I keep thinking there's so much I want to do this year before the big 30.
I feel so seen by your teary chat. 27 feels so pivotal.
I cannot tell you how much I relate to what you're saying about growing up. I am 26 and also feel much the same. It's hard to feel like you're finally becoming who you always were, and having to say goodbye to things that don't fit with that. I do think it's infinitely harder to be true to yourself as that often means going against much of what society tells us!
Also, growing up in these times is tough, I often feel like I'm being prevented from growing up fully. Even though I've done all the 'right' things, gone to uni, got a well paying job - I still can't afford to have my own home and own space. People our age can't actualise ourselves as adults beyond doing things like as you say buy nice towels!
I don't have much to say here but, solidarity ✌♥ optimism always :)
I'm also going to be 27 in a couple weeks and I'm going to be finishing the last year of my degree where after I'll be having entering a real big girl adult career. It feels very daunting because once I reach that point I know my life will change a lot, and I do feel myself mourning a lot of possibilities that could have happened if I decided to pursue a different career. Yes, I could switch careers eventually, but financially I'll need to stick it out for at least a few years. Additionally, even if I love it and feel like I made the right decision, I still think there will be a part of me that mourns another career that I would have loved to do but didn't find financially feasible.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, it helped me feel less alone with my feelings like that x
Just want to say, life doesn't have to change drastically because of aging/settling down/having a family (all the things we associate with the big three oh!) if you don't want it to! I definitely felt the aging panic at 29 last year, so I had a baby quite impromptu and never looked back! We do all the same things we did before but bring him along with us. I love aging and my new role. Just constantly learning and it's the most wholesome I've ever felt. 💓
The first apartment hunting video is what made me subscribe to this channel x
Women are sold that we should strive to “have it all” and the cold hard reality is that no one ever does, and we don’t need to feel so bad about it! We just need to make the best decisions we can and try to appreciate the moments we are in
It is completely normal to find yourself in a really weird spot in those last years of your twenties. You dont feel old but you don't feel young either. You feel more you than you ever have felt but also you are on a quest for meaning and purpose. Let me ruin the surprise, it all works out. You end up on the other side of 30 and surprisingly you are still you and you find things are better than ever. Don't fear the other side, it is indeed a good and safe place for you.
What you mentioned about the cost of living crisis and its impact on the timelines of our generation's milestones, I think that is a thing that we around the age of 30 are collectively aware of and all mourning in a way. We feel betrayed by what we've been taught and told about life, work, adulthood, money, because for most of us, these things are no longer true in our times. It is very difficult to be a young adult and become independent and fulfilled in a landscape that is so different and, for most of us, less fertile ground than it was for our parents. In some ways, every generation faces becoming an adult in a world that is different to the one they've experienced growing up, but in our case, there is no doubt the financial restrictions and burdens are as high as they haven't been in about a century.
I think we need to try and free ourselves from our expectations of adult life, our parents' expectations... and find new things that match the times... the level of individual wealth that our parents' generation is holding on average in western countries is CLEARLY not sustainable for the following generations. So we are the ones suffering from that shift, but also the ones carrying a lot of responsibility and power to help make that shift and think in new ways!
I've been looking for a video about this. I've been chronically ill the last 5 years so I had to quit uni and my job and I've felt so scared that I'll never be able to live the life I want and that I've missed out on so much, I try to be hopeful and focus on the positive, but it's helpful to know other people even without chronic illnesses feel the same way ❤
Girl if you feel you have started to crack it in terms of finding/ understanding yourself at 27… you are smashing it 😝👏🏼 I understand what you mean re this wistful feeling I am starting to get this a little now at 37… have to remind myself I am right where I need to be 🙏🏻 xxx
oh damn, that last bit really hit hard. i'm only 23 but with finishing school and starting uni i sometimes feel the same
Lucy, the market now in London for flats is absolute ass so yes, I'd love a video on that and your journey through navigating the astronomical prices but also trying to find something that you liek
This was very comforting because I've been struggling with the same fear for a few years now
I’m 27 too Lucy , I totally get what your feeling ❤️❤️
I'm 20 and I relate to this....
I feel like I'm experiencing all the worst parts of being an adult. First the pandemic came when I was just about ready to explore my freedom, and while that was ongoing my mom died pretty suddenly last year, just before I had to start writing my bachelor. After I managed to finish my degree with a 3 month extension I was gonna start looking for jobs, but suddenly I was burnt out and couldn't do anything. I just feel so stuck, like both my mind and body is working against me, and I've lost all sense of who I am.
Echoing the comments from all the 30+ year olds. How you feel is pretty normal at your age. I felt the same. I’m 32 in London and most the people my age are doing those traditional “big things” (mainly flat buying and weddings) around 34/35. Not sure if that helps at all, but you’ll become even more confident and rounded and might want completely different things once you get there as well. You’ve got this 💕