Anger and ADHD: How to Build up Your Brakes
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 18 авг 2016
- Impulsivity is one of the main characteristics of ADHD, and building up our brakes is one of the most important things we can do. Here's the science behind it and 5 things that help.
Twitter: / howtoadhd
Facebook: / howtoadhd
Patreon: / howtoadhd
Belly Breathe video (with Elmo!): bit.ly/21j1qT5
Dr. Barkley video on anterior cingulate cortex: • Dr Russell Barkley - A...
Dr. Hallowell’s tips on managing anger: www.drhallowell.com/dr-hallowe...
Your brain is a ferrari: www.additudemag.com/adhd/artic...
Aerobic exercise boosts mindfulness:
psmag.com/aerobic-exercise-he...
Cognitive behavioral therapy: www.chadd.org/Understanding-AD...
www.deepdyve.com/lp/wiley/the...
Info on medication: www.wsj.com/articles/medicatin...
www.additudemag.com/adhd/artic...
www.understood.org/en/learnin...
www.understood.org/en/learnin...
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/artic...
well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/02...
"The Show Must Be Go" "Professor Umlaut"
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...
Anger and ADHD: How to Build up Your Brakes
![Eminem - Houdini [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/22tVWwmTie8/mqdefault.jpg)
My Brain : "I REGRET NOTHING!!"
My Brain 2 sec later : "I REGRET EVERYTHING!!"
Yeah 110%!
My life
Omg that impulsivity almost screwed up my life
Every day life right there
same :(
“ADHDers are impulsive, and not just when we buy office supplies” I feel personally called out
SAME OMG i felt attacked
Lmao u replied a year later
How does she know what I do on Wish?
Impulsed bought 5 planners and note books from the target dollar spot. No regrets.
I just did this last night💀
“We can be very fun…when we’re in a good mood”
Completely true! When I’m in a good mood, people think I’m funny, I’m super nice and outgoing and I love having fun and being playful. However when I’m in a bad mood, I get super nasty and explosive and I tend to disrespect authority.
SAME
i have a problem wiTH AUTHORITY
I am very similar to you. Didn't realize there were people out there that were like me.
Eh disrespecting authority isn't necessarily a bad thing
You described me
Oddly enough, despite my ADHD making me easily frustrated, I’m described as a very patient person and even work with special needs children. It takes a lot of masking, but it’s very rewarding to know that I’ve learned to suppress these emotions and am able to work with kids struggling in school… who often happen to have ADHD as well. To have first hand experience with the disorder that causes the kids to struggle so hard is invaluable in my ability to connect with the kids and allow them to succeed.
Just… don’t ask me to be patient with myself. If I make one small mistake I’m immediately useless and the worst at whatever task I was attempting… I’m a work in progress 😊
That ending statement describes me so well that I'm having a look around the room to see who else is watching me.
I just read that comment and had to look at the poster's name to see if I wrote it a long time ago and forgot. Kinda scary!
Wow. That feel's like 100% me. I only am impulsive with myself or people that are really close to me (parents,partner - of course with words only).
ADHD sufferer here; I think for me part of what happens when I get mad is I tend to stay mad because it’s embarrassing to get so worked that you intentionally want to stay worked up so the anger doesn’t feel like a waste
Oh my god I did that soooo much when I was younger. Like well I already got so mad so I’m gonna continue giving everyone the silent treatment as I work things out in my head :/
Lol
i completely agree!
This is so accurate tho!
Bruh when I mad I get upset n cry then because I be stressful with the things at work
I tend to get really upset but keep it in and then instead i start crying hysterically....
Sounds familiar.
Same.
Omg *same*
Same
Simply Sookie that’s kind wierd but who am I to judge
As someone who has lived with ADHD while around unsupportive parents who refuse to learn anything about the condition, these videos are exactly what I needed. I needed to know that I wasn't the freak they think I am. Thank you.
Sorry to hear that your parents are not being supportive to you. There are lots of other ADHDers like us you can talk to if you feel like. Since I was diagnosed with ADHD a couple of weeks ago, I've considered moving on from a friendship because of the lack of interest he has shown in this news. Then again, it's difficult to judge if I would be making the right call because of the emotional dysregulation ...
Same. People always make fun of ADHD like its not a serious condition, so I grew up thinking that way. I blamed myself for my shortcomings and developed depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. I fought my way through university to get my degree, using caffeine at cafes to hold my attention on my studies. I have struggled with personal relationships, friends, and work. My life is in shambles, and these videos finally taught me to be sympathetic with myself. I honestly think she may have saved my life. Its late in my life, but better late than never. I am so grateful for her videos. I am blessed to have a loving wife and son.
@@al_5655 My mother was downright abusive toward me. I am still deeply scared from the screaming and the physical abuse I took at home.
❤yeahhh...
This is a biggie for me. Emotional dysregulation. Holy Moly. Being diagnosed was the light that shone on this crippling issue of mine. Im new at this walk so these vids help a lot. Thank You from a 57 yr old newly diagnosed...
51 yr old here. I’m still grasping my diagnosis!
@@BrownBarbie100 yeah grasping is a good word. I found out recently I was treated for it as a kid. Noone ever thought to tell me as I bounced through frustrating years of chaos. But I am relieved in a way. I'm contemplating meds though I have zero trust in the medical industry. How did u discover u had adhd?
Well said :)
My therapist taught me to do an “anger drill”. When I notice I am feeling stressed, I go to my room or somewhere private and do some intense physical exercise while I talk out load about what is going on. I made an 80% improvement in controlling angry outbursts after just one week of doing anger drills. AND I got awesome abs after so many sit ups!
When I exercise I get even angrier I dont know why
@@mexicamapping6587 I do yoga. I've noticed certain poses just create a pool of anger. Other poses I am calm and zone out. Your muscle remember trauma as well... yay? More stuff to work on :/
@@mexicamapping6587 Then you aren't exerting yourself hard enough. If you do like four push-ups and then give up, then the "I'm a failure, I can't even do five push-ups" cycle will just add to the anger. Push right on through until you physically cannot lift yourself off the floor again. It does work. Plus, you'll get buff in no time. Stop making excuses.
Home's not bad, at work is a different story
My therapist told me the same thing. Adderall and Vyvanse nowadays make me go into a rage 😤 according to what my nurse practitioner said. But to me, it takes baby steps for me to go into another room and do something else.
Sometimes i get so angry, that i start shaking as if i was cold or sometimes i self harm out of anger
I do the shaking bit, but the anger-induced harm I keep for day-dreaming. Doesn't feel as good, but also doesn't feel as bad!
Yeah I shake too.
I used to harm myself out of anger too, I would hack at my arm then start bawling
oopsie
Shaking because of anger is not exclusive to ADHD. In fact I would say ADHD people might suffer less from it, since they act out their anger and dont notice it. You only notice your shaking when you leave the situation/suppress your anger
I shake too and I have occasionally self harmed out of anger
From the colors, the rapid picture changes and added funny scenes. This video not only has great info but its actually well thought out to keep our ADHD in check while we process it. Awesome job
this video is nearly 5 years old, but, often my brakes fail when I'm getting emotionally worked up over feeling neglected. I'm doing a lot better since 2021 started, though. 2020 put me through the ringer way harder than I've ever been, and...now I'm just hopeful, I wanna control my breaks better before I hurt anyone.
me too
you aren't alone with this problem. my overreaction to this feeling recently ended some of my closest relationships.
This why I've never learned to be assertive. I either hold everything in and explode at another time at the littlest thing, or I over react in the moment. No happy medium.
You're not alone. 2020 screwed me so hard due to lack of consistent outdoor exposure and having fun with friends. It left me traumatized..
I have the opposite I had and amazing 2020 but 2021 till now is just horrible for me and it’s also about survival for me
The worst part is, I think a lot of us don't even know we have ADHD and just suffer in silence because we think everyone around us was at a meeting that you weren't invited to because you don't seem to understand or work like the others do.
I'm not still confirmed whether or not I've adhd or not but this did reminded me of times
when I was sitting in class surrounded by other classmates (I'm in high school) and whenever an idea used to click in, even the smallest one, I use to have my 'EUREKA' action, my friends found it funny,
maybe now I know where it came from
I'm almost certain i have adhd because anytime anyone talks about the symptoms of adhd i relate to them SO HARD. I've never been diagnosed but after watching just one of these videos i feel confident i have adhd.
That empty, fearful stare...
@@splabbity the one that makes you feel like everyone else is an imposter.
Mental health should be the biggest on the budget.why? Because criminals mostly have them and they leave victims... And I'm sick of this not being addressed even close to physical health. If some dude gets capped don't blame me.
You mean like punching holes in your wall, and realizing 30 minutes later it was a stupid choice, you over-reacted, and now you have to go go to Home Depot and buy a wall patching kit and paint that matches.
I'm constantly having to apologize to people because I'll say something shitty, and immediately realize I've said something shitty... then not being someone who likes to hurt other's feelings, I feel bad about it almost immediately.
i have to holes in my desk that I cover with my trackpad and keyboard lol smh
Brenda G.P. Wall Punching
Brenda G.P. Yeah dude. My boyfriend punched holes in walls everyday. He's gotten better. I just had to realize temper is apart of it. Omg my main issue though is how I feel when he says sorry still after screaming like crazy at his computer. I feel like he doesn't mean it and I have low self esteem. I never feel exciting for him I feel like a boring girlfriend
Brenda G.P. I've definitely been there. Punching holes in walls. I'm not very handy either so that sucks lmao. I wouldn't know what to do with a wall-patching kit.
Brenda G.P. I'm not the only one?!
I was brought up with the notion that being angry is bad. So I compulsively try and don't show my anger because of an innate fear of being abandoned. So this means I tend to be hugely frustrated and take my anger out on pens, hard drives, anything I can break or hit. But that people won't notice 😆
Thanks! I'm in my late 40's; diagnosed around 20 yrs. You explaining HOW meditation can regulate ED is revolutionary for me. I'm blown away!
You're welcome! We're glad you were able to find something helpful for you while you're on your mental health journey! 😊 And thank YOU for watching and for the support! 🧡
@@HowtoADHD The medications help me not burst out in anger when somebody sniffs once, but I still feel the anger, I can now control it!
You: "Meditation!"
Me: *thinks* ugh, as if, forget that
You: "Hear me out..."
Me: ...
icecrystal34 I’m not a big exercise person either it’s boring to me but if they ever come out with a game other than Pokémon go I’ll try it I’m just not into Pokémon. And my parents don’t think I have adhd
@@thenarnianhufflepuff6077 Zombies Run seems like something you might want to check out. I just downloaded it yesterday, but haven't used it yet. It sounds pretty good.
Ray White I have that app on my phone but I’m impatiently waiting for the Harry Potter version of Pokémon go
@@thenarnianhufflepuff6077 You could make your own game! That's what I plan to do if Zombies is no fun. You can get a sandbox mode of a game you like, or put in cheat codes so you can get everything available to you, but make yourself earn it. Give yourself your own points for different exercises. "Dang I want the cool stove for my Sims house, but I need to run another mile to get it" *Puts running shoes on*...
I know its super hard to hold yourself accountable for yourself, but it might be worth a shot. I try different things like that all the time. Sometimes it works, sometimes I end up with something weird like a deck of cards with random exercises on them that I never use....
Ray White I have had an idea for a while it’s similar to Pokémon go but different.
I've also learned that 1 when my blood sugar gets low (I'm hungry) and 2 I'm sleep deprived I flip out more easily. I think people with ADHD need more sleep than those who don't have it, because it takes us longer to recharge our batteries so to speak One of my nephews is the same way
I think so too @ low blood sugar and more sleep for ADHD/ADD !
Yep, my husband has ADHD. If he gets over hungry, he is a nightmare!
I can never sleep thanks to my adhd
Same here sucks..
Same bro, I literally will get 10 hours of sleep and then ace a test
One of the things I really struggle with when it comes to emotional regulation is how other people respond. I have a great support network, but there is still this disconnect with those in my life. When I get angry, they try to support me and tell me things like “there’s no reason to be mad, it’s ok”. The issue is this, there is a reason to be mad, I just can’t control what I do with it once I’m there. Instead of telling me that I have no reason to be mad, and invalidating how I feel (essentially making me feel worse about flipping out), please tell me that it’s ok for me to get mad, that you understand how I feel, and help me find better ways to deal with it.
This!! Exactly what I'm trying to explain to a close friend. I know that my anger is disproportional to the thing I'm angry at, but the fact that I don't explode in anger at the thing I'm angry at is already a big achievement for me. They don't get it yet.
Yes your teachings and sharing as are so helpful !
Losing the love of my life of 4+ years due to my struggle to use my brakes to keep from yelling, losing my temper. I have taken Adderall twice per day for two years, but it hasn't been enough to prevent this outcome. My toxic behavior has caused her to lose hope in us working out despite loving me so much. Side note, both of our 8yr old boy's are also diagnosed and being treated for ADHD. It's been a challenging household. Please, I beg. Don't procrastinate getting the additional help you need like I did. I've finally reached out to a therapist, and start a emotion regulation therapy group next Monday, which is a 16week course. Then hopefully I will be able to see a therapist one on one to work on CBT therapy soon after. I know ADHD means we are hunters in a farmers world, but right now I feel like a failure to myself, my relationship, and most importantly our two beautiful kids. My heart breaks that I'm losing an amazingly intelligent, kind, beautiful woman because I didn't heed her warnings the first two times. 💔
Only problem is... how do i let the people in my life know all of this without looking like you are making up exuse for your actions😬
Exactly. They don't want to hear it or understand it. They just want to hate you & berate you...
THIS how does that work😭😭😭
Same sis, idk how to tell my parents and friends that i ve adhd, without sounding like i am self-diagnosing problems i dnt have, because i have too much time on my hand!
You just need to go back later. And you really can't let it be an excuse, you need to learn to control yourself, it sucks.
You can say that you don't want it to be an excuse, but that they might need to give you a bit more of a buffer than other people. And then work on the brakes consistently.
every time I hear "hello brains" and see a smiling face it instantly turns my mood around. your videos have helped my immensely and I check daily for updates. thank you!!!!!!!!
She’s literally a dopamine shot for me. OMG. Sometimes too much because I need to do work. But her love, acceptance, and understanding makes me want to stay here forever. ❤️
@@Briiiii23 Funny You Mention Dopamine, I have Found Ways to not only Trigger Mine but I can Trigger it in Others too. I'm Fun and People have such a Blast around Me.
I say it back in the same sincere tone! I love her introduction 💗
Thanks for the insights! I’m a teacher with a few ADHD students, and I’ve loved watching your videos to understand some of the ways to help my students. I also love resources and tips you’ve shared, because I struggle with mental health issues, and a lot of your advice seems to be universally helpful, too.
Fun random Fact my favorite teacher ever was MR. Knight he seemed to flow well with us students with adhd. So since your not him I appreciate teachers like him and you, for working with those of us with minds that work differently. :D One thing that I liked that he did we rearranged the desk some what frequently.. kinda made the space feel new every once and a while.
A lot of ADHD outbursts are from frustration.
Please remember the quiet kid can be ADHD too, don't forget them :)
Thanks for learning more about ADHD, most teachers just dosent take the time to understand us. ❤
@@Nitroz2990 I’m happy to do so! I’m grateful to try to get a better understanding of any of my students circumstances. I can see why it could be hard, since I don’t have the same large class load as some other teachers; that would make it trickier to do. Either way, I’m going to keep doing my best to gain insight into how to help. :)
FINALLY! Someone who understands! I’ve been told , “ Just learn to control your emotions! Just don’t get so mad , sad , frustrated…etc .” . I’ve gotten better at this . But I’m still no pro at it . I’ve always wondered why I can’t seem to control emotions. They control me . Thank you for the video. I’ll give it a shot 🥰
I’m in a hyper-focus mood about ADHD (yes I see the irony) and just sorta look at RUclips and must say, “ FINALLY! A video that is made FOR people with ADHD!”
Also it’s so nice not have a monotone video with people who aren’t struggling with it and think they understand the whole thing. Plus you make it actually entertaining and fun to watch without getting bored and click another video
Oh my gosh exactly I swear. I'm not entirely sure if this is what you're talking about, but since I've discovered that I might have adhd (I'm like super duper sure I might have it like 100%), I have been obsessed with researching and talking about it. I feel like people are annoyed of it and I wish I wouldn't talk about it so much but I feel like it's comforting to talk about it. I watch her videos every day literally. They make so much sense and because she has adhd, she actually understands and knows what she's talking about. I'm obsessed with this channel so much. I don't know where I was going with that but yes
@@bubblerrs8884 I’m on the same exact boat! I know it’s been a month but have you been diagnosed yet? The more I reflect on my daily life and experiences and watch these videos the more my behaviors and thoughts make sense. I always compared my brain as a sports car, always driving at 200+ mph 24/7
@@drake5459 omg I love the comparison to a car lol but no I have not been diagnosed yet. It took me a while to actually start to because I didn't have insurance at first but now I have it and so now I'm trying to find someone to see to be able to get diagnosed
@@bubblerrs8884 haha thank you! Cars come naturally for me (my inner kid got jumpy when How to ADHD mentioned a Ferrari engine :D) so it’s a common comparison. And it’s crazy I see every person in the same boat we’re in having the exact same struggles. I’m hoping to set an appointment with a doctor soon, I just need their contact information
@@drake5459 omg really?? I think you're the only person I've found that has the same problem. Also I really hope you can see a doctor soon so you can get the help you need. I mean that respectfully because I'm hoping for the same thing too. Good luck !! :) and thank you for replying to my comments. It means a lot to know that someone knows and understand what I'm talking about lol
This channel has been so enlightening. I’m a 26 year old woman and I’m now almost positive that ADHD explains my inability to start or complete tasks, my poor memory and concentration issues, all the things I’ve blurted out and shouldn’t have, general lack of impulse control, and past relationship issues, just to name a few. Thank you for creating this content.
Not diagnosed until age 40 now 41 the pandemic made it worse. Diagnosed with ASD 1 at age 23 and Anxiety, Depression PTSD and RSD in my pre teens
I know people can get as angry as i do. The thing i find most infuriating is when everyone else around me is allowed to be angry but when I get angry im told i need to calm down and relax as if i have some form of control over my emotions. If i could stay calm and not be angry, you think i wouldnt have tried already?
I feel the same I
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD (at 36!) and it explains so much. I'm very much a "researcher" and I've fallen down many internet rabbit holes about it in recent months. You're the first content creator I feel I've vibed with, if that makes sense. You're LIVING IT, not just talking about it clinically... you're showing a full range of emotions that we can relate to... you're entertaining AF and it keeps me watching for new content and diving back through the older stuff as well. Thanks so much!
Agree!
'How to keep up with conversations' might be a good video to work on
It's unbelievable how challenging that is!
+JoMV Tell me about it! I probably yield about 60% of all my conversations at most.
I jailbroke my iPad for the sole reason to be able to rewind youtube videos in 10 second steps
Status X If you ever find yourself non-jailbroken again, you should be able to find 3rd party RUclips apps that let you do it. I’m not sure if it’s still around but I used to use something called FoxTube.
+:D I think I'll stay on iOS 8.1.3 jailbroken, cz there's no diffrence between 8.1.3 jailbroken and current versions if you know what to install. Also newer iOS versions drain the battery more than a jb version does and you cant access your files, which I grew accustomed to. I now use it for basically everything.
My brakes just failed and It really damaged my relationship with my gf. Thankfully she’s patient and respected my wishes to take a week to figure myself out. This video came just in time.
How are you doing now?
@@A.The.H. Legit interested now, too...
Update?
I just lost two friends.
@@reginaldbowls7180 Have you tried looking for them where you last saw them?
I have never felt more understood than when I saw that "Wheeeeeeeee!" quote.
The way the video is presented with a cuteness spin and “ah chucks” totally ignores the agony and pain caused in a relationship. These outbursts of rage are debilitating to the victim, ruin special holidays, destroy the victims relationships with their friends who witnessing this behavior pull back and avoid and stop including you and your partner from social engagements.
I do not live with my partner and after 8 years always believe that this rage won’t happen again. Living apart I
Can take days and weeks needed to recover. My mother died 2 years ago I am an only child of an only child on both sides and no siblings so I have no family. He was my family.
There is no history of someone like this in my life. Grew up with unconditional love so I felt sorry for him and thought my secure stability would make him calm down. It didn’t and now I want to distance myself but that’s so hard living in Manhattan in these times of chaos after COVID ( which took my mother) with no support. I’m 73. When our partner has this disorder over time it gives us trauma which I never had.
"Work on building breaks". That's the problem. It is always "work". It's really exhausting.
I used to have reasonable breaks for an individual with ASD and ADHD Inattentive until bloody Covid
@@Dancestar1981 GOD this is me atm too. Like yeah, I had problems pre-COVID. But literally everything got worse over these past two years. My social anxiety affects literally EVERY aspect of my life. I have literally no friends and I can't even talk to teachers/bosses about important things. I'm pretty sure I've developed IED, but I can't remember at this point if I had it this bad pre-COVID or not. I don't know how to help myself because I'm busy trying to finish senior year and I can't get a therapist (literally money are taking new patients). I've started exercising more regularly and I'm pretty sure my anger explosions are getting less frequent/less intense. They still happen at least 2x a week, though.
"the acc appears to do (pause).... Nothing 🙃"
Why did that make me laugh so hard 😂
Well it made me cry 😢
We did Brain Balance for our daughter, best decision ever but was one of the hardest things we have ever done as a family! Anyway, this is exactly how they described what was going on in her right brain weak, left brain strong mind! They said the right side is the sort of the brakes that are supposed to come in and tell us something isn't as big as it feels but her right brain wasn't strong enough to put the brakes on. She isn't 100% but her life has changed so so much for the better! 💜 Meditation, Mindfulness, and excercise are also great for her!
The meditation point is really interesting, thank you so much for this! I grew up with undiagnosed ADHD, but also was Quaker and went to Quaker school - so I was in silent meditation for hours every week as a kid and teenager. Symptoms got way worse when I left for college and stopped going to Settling In. Go figure! So interesting, thank you so much!
First of all, when I'm watching your videos, I feel like someone finally understands me. A big problem that occurs on a daily basis is my love/hate relationship with food. Can you do a video on food and people with ADHD? If would really help, and it would make me feel better that there is a reason behind my madness.
Thanks! Absolutely love your videos :)
Not easy God blessd you!
Listening to her is like hearing a description of my feelings
I would like that video as well.
Me too! Since I was like 13. Still feel weird about it. How is it now with you?
I have so many problems with eating it’s unreal, I’m a 24 yo man who weighs 9 stone and I’m not even on medication
I'm a long time sufferer of adhd diagnosed at 7 medicated in my 40's. No idea of the time in between. Was told I'd grow out of it. So I had no idea what was wrong with me . Your videos are simply amazing. You have no idea how much you have helped me . Thank you so much.
Mine is the other way im 36 and only now just being assessed for adhd my childhood was not an easy one i had a good childhood but just never seemed to fit in anywhere and still dont really but eventually someone listened to me so im positive for the future.
meditation " opportunity to have thoughts and practice not acting on them " beautifully put! Thank you so much How To ADHD, you're such a gift.
I’m pretty sure my son has ADHD (not diagnosed yet) and your videos are so helpful for me to understand how his brain works and why he does (or doesn’t do) certain things. This one in particular was an eye opener! I always ask him why he keeps doing the same “bad behaviour” knowing he will get into trouble. I make the comparison to a video game where he meets an obstacle that kills his avatar, the next time he tries the level he’ll know to deal with that differently, so why not apply that in life? But I get it now: the video game doesn’t involve emotions! So he’s able to think rationally there.
The thing here pretty much isn't that I do things physically ( like flipping tables, punching someone), I actually verbally insult someone or just shout what's on my mind before I actually process what I was going to say... BTW: Your channel is totally helpful! :)
there was a lot of info, so some details like how its not always expressed physically, had to be cut out
I once almost quit my job because my car was broken and I overreacted slightly.... :D good thing my dad gave me his car then
Awww that was cool of him!
I'm just so blessed to have found your channel and I love you and I'm so proud of you as a 46-year-old woman whose children had ADHD it never occurred to me that I might have it. But in these last few years discovering and being diagnosed it makes so much sense and you have really been such a help and how to deal with all of it thank you
I like how you speak and explain things. Not too slow that my brain starts to procrastinate and also not too fast to grasp. Just the right speed.
Does anybody else get really angry when they can't let their hyperness or energy out? When I was diagnosed at 16, (and even when I was 17/18 as well) it was so easy to let it all out and not care what anyone thought. Now I'm nearly 23 there's this whole new moral compass that comes with being an adult where you know you should act more mature, and a part of my mind tells me to push it all down. And then I get to a point where I can't hold it anymore and it is bubbling inside of me and when I've pushed it down for that long; I try to let it out but there's a barrier that won't let me. And it just gets me so angry and frustrated and snappy with people. One part of me was relieved when I was diagnosed, the other part of me was gutted. They told me I might even "grow out of it" as a decent percentage of adults do. Who knew it would get harder when you grew up!
Do an exercise that you like, probably martial arts cause it’s fighting
Omg yes
I get depressed when I cannot.
You don’t ever grow out of it you just learn different coping strategies
KEEP ACTIVE!! I used to run 20 minutes a day AND walk everywhere and I felt awesome.
I got a desk job and it was the worst decision I ever made.
This explains so much about my childhood. I'd just insta-react to just about anything. Not fun for my family.
I mellowed out when I turned into a teenager...which is around the time I started getting HARD by social anxiety and depression. Guess they formed the effect of being a "brake".
I am here because I was trying to calm myself down before I literally strangle anyone who makes my day derail again. Ya know ? It's one of those days, yep ! Glad I had enough brakes to decide to look up your video, love ! Been following you for a while now and you always manage to cheer me up
I can't believe how much about ADD/ADHD I'm hearing about only now. Thanks to these videos. I'm 33. I grew up this this. I'm in grad school and only within the past couple years have been really only consciously managing it now.
I always thought something was wrong with me due to my temper.
Thanks to this page and everyone joining in the comments.
LMAOO One time my mom was screaming to me while in the car and I was like “I’m so mad I need to leave because I’m really mad” SO I TRIED TO OPEN THE DOOR. It was thankfully locked
your mom shouldn't be screaming at you.
Sorry your mom screams at you. ;C
Omg that is so relatable!!
I open palmed the windshield and it spiderwebbed
...I've definitely opened the door and bailed from a moving car for this exact reason...
i have adhd and i got drafted to the israeli military, and i remember in boot camp i got so frustrated and mad that i took the butt of my m16 and threw it straight at my commandors face sat 30 days in military prison for that....
roman mitsek what did u get mad about
proto401 52 😬Sucks.
It’s okay they probably deserved it
Lo tov, havere shellee. Col B'seder.
@@manuelalvarez25 Really ? Politicising a safe place? Bet you've never even been to Israel. If you truly believe that the IDA gets up and goes Pally hunting, you can't have ADHD. Because people with ADHD are intelligent and your comment says otherwise.
Oh and No. I'm not Israeli.
My daughter is 9 and diagnosed with ADHD. We LOVE your videos!!! You’ve helped her realize adhd isn’t something WRONG with her it’s something unique about her. Something that’s makes her brain amazing even if it creates struggles.
Thank you so much!! Don’t stop!
A few years back I actually went to a therapist just to learn to control my anger and impulsive outbursts. It helped tremendously.
What helped?
I am in love with your videos and they are so so helpful. i am hoping that maybe you can do a video on self-love or how not to be angry with yourself. im not like super sure but it seems like my ADHD causes me to punish my self etc THANK YOU FOR YOUR AMAZING VIDEOS
+Michael Petris that is an amazing idea thank you!!!
Michael Petris That happens to me to! How To ADHD, please make that video.
+How to ADHD Can you make a video about the lack of or less empathy that comes with ADHD and how we have trouble looking at how what we do affects others.
i agree
Im the same way... I once puched myself in the face couple of times in class.... then when I realised what I did I walked out of class and left...
My breaks fail when I feel something negative and I say it, then people call me negative and i feel self conscious
Curortousy Link My breaks fail in conversations too, usually with hilarious results. My youth group will forever remember me as the girl who doesn't care who she sleeps with. (I meant I would share a room with any of the other girls and not get offended if I wasn't with my bff... that's not how it came out...)
This is amazing!!! My husband gets so hurt sometimes and I keep apologizing after fights and saying “I really wish I could stop myself but I know I can’t promise that so I’ll just keep trying my best.” To him that sounded like I was saying “sorry that hurts your feelings but I won’t change anything.”
I saw this video and pointed and said “Look! It’s not just me?”
Doubt that would fly if roles were reversed. Learn some self control for christsakes.
@@yetanotherretroreview4476 just stop.
Thank you for your videos. I am 45 married with 2 children (6 and 8) and I was just diagnosed with ADHD this past week. Pretty severe diagnosis apparently. Thank you for making these videos, they have helped my wife and I tremendously in learning what we already knew. She wants to give you a hug because you're so awesome. Be well and be aware.
When I was younger, undiagnosed (got my diagnosis at the age of 28), and totally unaware that I could have ADHD my brakes failed me constantly, I have been standing in the middle at big crowds screaming at people who were ice cold ignoring me cause they made me so mad I cried and said awful things. Now days, having insight in my diagnosis and made the decision to take meds I don't react with such outbursts anymore, and frankly, getting this diagnosis have made me feel less embarrassed about these outbursts, I now know why I reacted in such an extreme way when people, honestly, treated me like crap.
I was at a training course, the instructor rambled on for first 2 hours about tool safety (I am a tradesman). so I was showing the guy beside me pictures from my phone cause I got distracted. the instructor saw me and asked if I wanted to share the photo with everyone. I blurted out," sure, is the training course going to start soon?"
it was not quite the exact same as flipping a table over, unless you saw the look on his face..... and then me laughing when I realized what had just come out of my mouth. did I mention the course was 7 hours long?
yup, fun times were had after that!
I hate people that don’t get to the point and drag it out just to hear their head roar! A 7 hour training course would be so painful!
Did everyone else laugh though?
I woke up from a lecture (boredom seems to trigger sleepiness from me) and asked what was going to be in the upcoming exam.
The entire lecture had just covered what's going to be in the exam.
Thank you. My symptoms are really difficult right now and I've been feeling terrible for snapping at my partner. I finally feel like I have some hope and a starting point to get myself under control.
Im 39 and have been suffering in silence my entire life. I've always thought why do I feel different why do I feel socially awkward all the time. My memory is terrible I can't seem to retain anything that comes out of a book but show me and watch me then I'm fine. I have so many projects that I want to start...I'm enrolled into a short course that should've taken 3 months to complete..its been 2 years and I've barely touched it and it makes me miserable. Omg I could go on. Thank you for your vids they are truly life changing in letting me realise I may have ADHD. I'm in the process of seeing a psychiatrist for diagnoses appt booked December 2021. Wish me luck :)
I must say that ballet has helped me kick start the whole being self-aware and mindfulness process since it teaches you discipline, and brain-body coordination which can be useful in social settings when you start getting frustrated....
Pretty sure doing ballet since age 6 was the reason I didn't get diagnosed until age 28... my mom and I both think that me dancing so much probably auto-regulated my ADHD to the point where we didn't even realise there was anything different about me. I'm very certain that if I had not started dancing so young, I would have been diagnosed much sooner.
I'm so glad my sister introduced me to your channel. I have ADHD and I always feel like, aside from a handful, of people I'm generally misunderstood and not accepted. It's such a relief and so inspiring to see how relatable your vids are and that there are 142k people who DO understand(or at least are wiling to) what me, my siblings and millions of others are going through.Thank you for educating us!
I understand. I’m an ADHDer
This is so true! I started doing yoga, meditation, and working out and I now feel like I don’t lash out as much! Yet when I do, it is still really bad..
I have severe untreated ADHD. Before I researched ADHD found out why I was so angry, I used to show EXTREME tantrums involving screaming at the top of my lungs like a demon, gritting my teeth, rapid heart breathing, hurting people, and tearing/destroying objects.
I remember this one time I failed my first drivers test at 17 because the lady at the drivers place thought I was using my phone when I was just turning it off. I immediately burst into tears and became extremely emotional when I got back in the car. When I got home I went into my room and beat up my pillows, roared extremely loud it disturbed everyone in my house, beating my pillows, and ripped apart the drivers manual book. My parents had to yell at me to calm down as if I was a child.
I feel like I have a lot of internalized anger from not succeeding in school that well and always being lonely from the poor social skills and bullying I get for having ADHD on the severe side.
I was always left untreated and had to stick with masking/natural remedies because my parents always saw it as something normal and just used discipline even though I clearly was not a mentally stable person.
I get angry really quick!
Like if u do too
I thought she said medication, and I was just like "I have those!"
nvm #4 was medication
I have them to
I don't take the meds, but can you tell me anything about it? On the piece of paper that comes with it, it says you can only take it for about a year and then need to be weened off again and re-evaluated. So I never took then if it is just short term solution.
@@PCLHH Most people stay on them continuously. You may need the dosage adjusted with growth spurts and such.
@@PCLHH I'm sure How to ADHD has videos on them. It's not a short term solution. That implies ADHD can be fixed.
If I can't walk easily, a wheel chair is not a short term solution. However, doctors would still probably want to annual get me to walk a few steps and check the strength of the muscles in my legs.
You need to be re-evaluated for any type of medication because your body can change. Weening off is weird though.
Oh my gosh! I thought I was the only one who felt like I was gonna punch someone every time I get mad and it seems like my fuse is so much shorter than others and my frustration level so much higher. Thank you so much for this video. All of your videos make me feel like “wow somebody actually gets my brain.!
Same and then I feel wrong for being as frustrated as I am over something someone else would consider very minor which makes it worse
Our special brains, unfortunately, only have 2 modes: extremes & steady, nothing in between. You're not alone in struggling to cope with the 2 😁
I am a (yet) undiagnosed ADHD'er, and had a discussion with my supervisor via MS Teams, lately. It's been some unimportant grammar / orthography issue. I didn't agree with her decision, but: she's my boss, so I replied... "if you say so" (because, what we were talking about wasn't worth any further argument), which I rather should have thought that written. She obviously received this as "passive-aggressive" and told our mutual boss, and today I had to justify myself in front of them, because of those four little words. Annoying! Which reminded me of your clip here... Thank you for covering that topic on your channel.
Suggestion reply for a future video: I believe a huge concept that is overlooked is ADHDers ability to regulate their expectations of future events. If we promise ourselves that a certain positive event will occur if we complete a certain task, but that positive event ends up not being attainable... how do we react? We created a fixation on a reward that we can not have... and in many cases that itself could lead to reacting negatively.
Another situation where expectations plays a role is planning your daily schedule. If you have too high expectations and try to do too many events in a short period of time, not only do you become overwhelmed due to the amount of activities you are trying to complete in a short period of time, but now you also have to deal with being let down due to failed achievement of your expectations.
My last example is single tasks and how expectations play a role there as well. Some ADHDers use certain short term motivational methods as a way to help them complete single short term tasks. Lets say a ADHDer is painting something, and they are motivated to paint something based on the expectation alone that "What I am going to make is going to best the best cat picture ever." This single concept drives them to work really hard.... but the expectation itself is likely too unattainable to the individual. Again, they created a fixation situation where they are overly focused on the painting because of this unattainable expectation.
I know I wrote a bunch... hope you read it -_-
Yes, lower expectations and over deliver.
Thank you so much! I always thought I was just a terrible person.
I got diagnosed and got my medication three days ago and I was just telling about this brakes -thing for my friend today! I finally have "one crusial second more between emotion and reaction". This is so important for me!! 😭😭💖💖
This is also great for partner education. I am struggling with understanding some of these traits in my significant other and feel like these videos help me to have a better understanding of why he has certain behaviors and how I might be able to better support him. Thank you!!!
I always have an urge to punch the wall every 5 minutes while doing hw
That can be because you're so bored that it's literally infuriating. Medication helped me with that.
I'm doing homework rn and that's exactly how I feel-
and now I've realize I haven't touched my work in 20 minutes cuz I'm on a How To ADHD spree and forgot about it whoops
Me too
When I was a teenager I kicked a hole in my bedroom door in frustration, regretted it and repaired it. The same happened many years later when I was an adult.....D’Oh!! I have been torturing myself for my many impulsive actions ever since, and it has recently led to regular suicidal thoughts. Your videos ring true for me in so many ways, and I have just been diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 49. Now I am battling with severe depression. Your videos are helping me to understand what the heck is going on with me, and I am so grateful I found this channel. Thank you.
I hate existing like this. Doing something and regretting it later is one thing. Being fully aware of it in the moment and knowing you're going to regret it is another thing altogether.
I love your channel so much! I've been binging your channel for the past 2 days. ADHD is something that I've been looking at for years, but I've always talked myself out of it because I didn't want to have more things wrong with me, but everything you're saying makes SO MUCH SENSE!
I always got the sense that things were harder for me than they were for others, but considered it a personal failure, and it's nice to consider the idea that it may not be just that.
Earlier I got so mad at my sister and then I just locked myself in the bathroom and watched videos of people feeding hotdogs to raccoons until I was calm again 😂 idk animal stuff always makes me happy and I tend to hyper focus more on things that have to do with animals
You're not alone. My go-to animal vids are those with guinea pigs in them. Those cute little face are so calming.
omg same!! whenever im upset ill make toys for my hamster, or ill watch people review improper hamster cages.
Haha was it the animal whisperer? I do that too.. it’s calming
This is incredibly relatable 😂
honestly, this channel is life changing. I still watched all of these videos instead of working on anything on my to do list.... But, I feel so many great things right now! I feel so much less alone, so much more prepared to take the steps to feel better and do better. Thank you so much!
I absolutely love this channel and recommend it to many of my patients, and both just the ones with ADHD. You have some great tips and information. Keep up the good work. You are helping change lives for the better, one video at a time.
Gotta say, this channel has been extremely helpful for me. 60+ years, meds only the last five (couldn’t handle it currently), and this channel has been immensely helpful both directly and in to pointing to other researchers and resources. Now trying to get off meds (or at least reduce them).
"Medication" Absolutely with you on this one. When I'm medicated, it's like I can feel the anger coming and I have a better understanding of what I can do to prevent it from getting to the point where I'm about to try and shove my fist through a wall... (which, I am not proud to say, I have broken bones b/c I actually did one time, and my fist hit a part of the wall with a stud. I keep the cast around as a reminder to try and do my best to keep it under control.) But it's like night and day. In the morning, before I take my meds, I'm a grump whose thoughts are all over the place.
To use a metaphor, unmedicated is driving through a traffic jam during rush-hour. Medicated is like taking the subway instead.
So in love with these videos. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 6. I'm 30 now, and still trying to explain to people how to cope with it and that it is a real thing. These videos are so helpful in explaining things!
Thank you for expressing yourself authentically about what you struggle with. You put so much effort into your videos and it shows. They are fun, informative, and playful, and in such a way that it keeps my attention (I have ADHD too). Taking the time to share that your efforts are very appreciated! :)
Before being diagnosed with ADHD in college, I had horrible anger management at home. I thank my parents for helping me learn skills to slow down, breathe and take a step back. As a teacher I have developed mindfulness practices that assist myself as well as my learners.
I am loving your channel! It is validating, interesting and helpful. I am learning about my brain more with every video. Also realizing how much I have learned to manage my ADHD.
There are often times that I see my disorder as an advantage once you learn to support your challenges.
I rarely hit someone when I get mad, but I ether walk away before I get to mad or I punch my bed, a wall, my bed and other things
Ho I forgot that I put my bed first XD
Same... 😁
I do really stupid things all the time, and it's resulted in something bad to me :(
The last one, was something I knew was not allowed. Posting something on the internet, that I knew I was not allowed to. But I still did it... and got in big trouble at work for it. Nearly ended up in termination. But was changed to first and final warning, and luckily, downgraded again to just a verbal warning. My bosses were quite angry, but very supportive in this case. Unfortunately in the previous job I had, they were the complete opposite, and documented every mistake I made and fired me in the end. Other staff were told to watch me and note any mistakes I made. I knew this at the time and it was very difficult for me to work, knowing everybody was watching me and waiting for me to make a mistake.
I'm so glad that I'm not there anymore.
That's my story I wanted to share with you all.
I was diagnosed with ADHD early last year, and since then I have learnt more about myself and knowing to watch out for my symptoms. Sometimes I catch them but other times I don't. A hand full of good friends support me and help me through my day which I'm very glad of.
Bye Brains :)
.. What 'big brother', '1984', dystopian culture do you live in where your getting fired for off time social media comments? Unless your threatening co-workers, spilling trade secrets, etc, what business is it of theirs?
I’ve been watching your videos for the past week…. You have no idea how much help and understanding you have brought to me. I’ve been going on for 10 years now leaving my ADHD untreated because no one in my family understood I had it, or at least there wasn’t anything to do about it. I’ve been struggling so damn much and I’ve always thought I was just slower or even dumber then most and that’s why I felt like I was putting in so much effort in everything I do only to be exhausted after words… rinse watch and repeat, I think you know where I’m going with that. Now after understanding better my adhd I’ve been able to calm down and breath more easily. I thought there was something wrong or broken in me, something I NEEDED to fix. I’ve gone through so many emotions and bottled up a lot of things. I’m lucky enough to have a supporting family that I have and a gf that quite literally was the only one that caught one to my adhd but didn’t realize it was that either. Thank you for creating this channel, I’m so happy there’s more info on adhd then I thought I could find. You’ve done an amazing job and I just wanted to say you helped one life come from struggles to now finally be able to walk forward calmly and seek the help I need.
"an opportunity to practice having thoughts and emotions without reacting to them" gave me a weird heavy feeling in my chest haha
Watching this amazing video is apparently not enough to keep me concentrated for long. Even tho I tried I ended up loosing my focus. Long story short I got distracted from a video by the comments and minute later I am lost in my thoughts.
Anyone else?
I’ve watched this video a few times but I had to watch it again after having a giant meltdown at my mom (I’m....23 years old) this morning because she happened to be the person around while I was having it - this video helps remind me what exactly I have to work on when things like this happen, so thank you so much for your hard work!
I got so much meltdowns with my mom too... She is ADHD too so it can go very quickly.
I was never diagnosed with ADHD but my most commonly associated phrase, "People Change Fast" has emerged from my social sphere for a reason. İt's awesome to see other people's solutions to being outliers. After spending years suffering outside the norm, you find weird ways of surviving, and it's so awesome to see how other honeybadgers have adapted.
Thanks for the videos!
I needed to hear this. I lose my temper and yell 4 or 5 times day at my kids. Between attitude from my neurotypical middle schooler and the behavior and cotton filled ears of my 3rd grader who has ADHD, I feel I have endless outbursts and I hate it. I'm going to her back to exercising - go to the gym - and mindfulness when my ears get hot. I don't want my kids to mainly remember me freaking out. I trained myself to admit when I'm wrong and apologize to the kids when I calm down. It helps when I remember that in the long run, all the crap I freak out over won't matter or even be remembered besides my reaction. It's weird because when my husband is yelling (hardly more than 1x a day), I'm cool as a cucumber and try to calm everyone down and work it out.
This is me 100%
Hey wanna say that you're saving my life haha talking from Brazil
I'm a 32 years old mother of two boys going through a looooot of struggle in this life and I have just discovered two weeks ago through your videos that I have adhd
It's one of the most important discoveries of my whole life and I L O V E your videos
Shout out to the kids I yelled at this year.I really regret yelling at them.
Such a beautiful person. I admire her openness and courage. I’ve watched several of her presentations and it’s helped me better understand those who have ADHD.
I watched this video a long time ago, and I couldn’t remember the title but the sentence “you’re not the only one who wanted to flip over a table... you’re just the only one that did” has haunted me for at least 9 months
Thank you for making these ❤
I lose it with my partner over everthing when im feeling in that mood.. hangry, flustered about last minute plans.. small inconsiderate actions etc. She sees as not a big deal but it angers me so much and I end up starting MAJOR arguments. Then well after Ive calmed down im like wtf at myself.. but i cant help it at the time!
You speak the truth 😃
This video made me feel so much better. I’m having such a hard time. I wish there was people I could talk to the experience the same issues. I’m struggling so bad... thank for the vid
I've done breathing exercises so that I take my body from autopilot to manual control. The more I do this the more present I become and mindful. You're no longer stuck in the grooves of your habits when you're in control and this is when you can make a different choice.
I found this RUclips channel at 25 and I swear it’s been helping me so much lately