Depression within a Marriage | Couch Conversations | S2 E6
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- Опубликовано: 14 окт 2024
- Couples share how depression affected their relationships and their steps in seeking help for themselves and their partners.
Follow Khadeen & Devale's YT Channel's! @The Ellises & @Khadeen Ellis And listen to their Podcast, "Deadass" on www.deadasspod...
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Filmed in 2019
He said, "my identity wasn't in God. It was in my business" as a business owner that hit me
I felt that too!
Boy yes It wasn't my business but it was to the money I was making. I can identify with him on so many levels
the body language from each couple, the affirming look in their eyes, the togetherness i see is beautiful beyond anything ive seen in a long time. Watching this makes me want to go home and just cuddle with my wife.
I really appreciate the transparency and vulnerability of the couples. Many couples experience times when depression and trauma strike but we don’t talk about it-particularly men.
" The Body Language Between All Couples Reveals The True Feelings Of Love They Have For Each Other "....!!!!!!!!!
absolutely beautiful.
I admire couples who work through the issues... You have to be vulnerable with each other...
Yes!!!
100% agree.
I can so relate, waking up everyday smiling but not really being happy, just to blend in, faking comes naturally.
Facts...I got tired of living that way. The pandemic taught me that when Im not okay I really speak up now. It took awhile to get there. One day you will also too. Until then be well.
I wish you best Jadiva. I pray and truly hope you are in a better mindset. It’s a good place to be vulnerable
Thisssssss
Yesssss
Once you begin talking you will realize your not alone and how many people have a story, but the great thing is you can come out the other side not only mentally better but a better person in general
Depression is a killer, but what is more exciting and powerful is when you and your spouse, husband or wife overcome it✊🏼
As a newly married man (1.5 years) this was definitely refreshing to watch. Its always so helpful when you know others go through similar trials as you in marriage. I appreciate this conversation. Gives me hope for my wife and i.
I was married to a man that he and his family made me think I was crazy because they would deny his depression (that I was living with in marriage) and I kept trying with everything in me to help him and finally when I was in the process of Divorcing him 2013, he faced it and got professional help. I'm thankful that he was diagnosed and accepted his truth. But God!
Did you stop the divorce?
@@christiemosley2796 Ikr?! I feel a bit nosey for asking, but at the same time I'm like....cliffhanger.
I was wondering the same thing. I am so very glad that he is getting the help he needs and admitting something is wrong is a problem for us all. But I also hope that you all were able to stay together. Or at least now have peace.
Praise God! He's on your side, always!
Leaving, sometimes is the only thing you can do. Depression can kill you, literally.
Black Love is a POWERFUL show! Thanks for all the transparency to everyone involved!
Alcohol is a depressant too. So, drinking every day is not giving yourself the time to recover at all.
Thank you for that!
Truuuuuuth
♥️🙌🏼
When I was depressed I couldn’t sleep. I would be up for days. Alcohol helped me sleep. That’s all I wanted.
If I may add something alcohol is a suppressant not a depressant. It functions like a spring. It depresses bodily and cognitive functions and then the minute that blur is over- all the issues come back full force
Really loved this, Marriage is not wedding day glammer but it's just so beautiful when two people decide to face life as a team.
Who said it was a wedding day? Are you going of your feelings or did you see it somewhere? I'm not from the US and maybe you guys see or hear something different.
🙌🏼♥️
@@Perfeccionista89 The video is not about a wedding day, I was making the point that sometimes so much hype in put into the wedding ceremony, when the reality of marriage is two people putting in the work to build a strong team.
@@fullerathome8560 Exactly! Often times there is too much focus on the wedding and not enough on the commitments made to each other which should go beyond that first day of unification.
When Kaden said she felt like she was living with a stranger.... whew chile! Sheesh!
Theeeeeere's a stranger in my house *insert Tamia's voice*
@@omphilemoerane2569 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
This is beautiful. Black couples sharing and building like this together is so needed in our community. I love that these Black men allowed themselves to be vulnerable, not only with their wives, but with each other. So dope!
They should invite Tabitha Brown and her husband for a conversation about supporting your spouse etc.
Yes!!
👍🏾
Hey, they do.
This video is a Q& A from Black Love:
m.ruclips.net/video/XUV7Wj0E6Tg/видео.html
This is one of the clips they have from an episode they were on (There are several clips you can check out!) m.ruclips.net/video/ppoWywKjMMA/видео.html
You spoke it...now they're hosting the couch conversations!
This is so special. I'm so happy that couples are exposing these issues and challenges that they face in a marriage. A lot of people always look at married couple and envy what they have but like every thing in life there are challenges . But, true Love is what keeps the marriage together as glue. Peace !
This was so eye opening. The mask of masculinity. Should I marry again I see that I need to be his safe place to fall. Beautiful episode. Much appreciated.
This is so needed, a few years ago I went through a HUGE bought of depression due to a hostile work environment. This is VERY healing. Thank you.
🆕🆓🆙🔝
I feel and understand this episode all to well.. in our relationship we took turns in both depression and ptsd and it has been an incredible heavy experience.. especially the part where i could not pull my partner out of his ptsd and depression that really did something to me for a long time. I think this subject is not talked about enough and i found it very interesting and soothing at the same time..
The reason men are more at risk is because they’re not allowed to be emotional. It’s deemed not masculine. But it’s the opposite. Being emotional doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be crying all the time but being in touch with your emotions and acknowledge you’re human. I’d say it’s probably easier for women to move through life because no one really tells us to stop crying or stop getting upset because it’s not good for our image. I know some parents have told some of their daughters as much as the next son but it’s not as common.
True
Its so crazy that they renewed their vows, and God gifted them with a child. he knew what they needed. omg so amazing.
This is near and dear to my heart...I too struggled with depression and it impacted my marriage so badly. Still struggling through it.
Thank you for sharing about Depression in Relationships!!! Being a Grief Counselor many couple don't understand that depression can come from many types of "losses"& "expectations" in our life. Especially, when depression is a form of "suppressed anger". Many times we show anger without understanding the "root" or the "pain" of why it is in our life and relationships. Thank you for creating an "open conversation" concerning Depression and other Mental Health issues affecting our Community.
What's the name of your counseling business?
@@keishapuryear8180 I'm in retirement after over twenty years!!! Wanting to give encouragement & understanding concerning depression in marital relationships. It is very important to set time for marital communication!!! Open communication is key!!! Marriage is "work in process"!!! You don't want that "dangerous" word to surface called "expectations"!!! Because "expectations" of our Spouse is "never" spoken but is apart of what "we want" or "need" in a relationship. It "destroy" the trust & respect in a relationship!!!
@@angeladenmark3164 I actually think talking about our expectations is healthy.
@@keishapuryear8180 Totally Agree!!!!
Perfectly assessed
A lot of spousal depression occurs during or after baby, I would like for them to indulge more into that topic, and why some spouses choose not to understand.
This! Some folk are slow the rest are selfish. Humans especially black people go they so much in silence.
Reveal You Beauty Studio Very, what they are talking about is all rainbows and unicorns but I know a lot of marriages that fail, especially when the woman gets depression, and not even accepted it could be something hormonal due to her being on birth control, or just facing and scoping through trauma, and it is internalized as her being boring, having an attitude, and not offering up sex, so then he steps out of the marriage etc. Even women can leave or file for divorce during that time point, so I’m not trying to keep it one sided, but that’s the perspective I am most familiar with.
Need to talk about male post partum depression too
Woman may go through depression after hormonal imbalances. Doctors don’t care to focus on that because they’d rather give you depression pills. That’s where diet, exercise and natural supplements can health. Hormone therapy should be the last result. A doctor that focuses on naturopathic can help.
@@nicodemusharding2310 I just heard of that recently. I didn’t realize men dealt with that.
Firstly, these couples are beautiful! And each one resembles their spouse. A pleasant contrast to the display of weave snatching and bed hopping that is some of everybody but not the most of what we do. And not all the bliss a lot of married couples like to portray. This was a pleasant watch and listen.
So true
Man I can feel the first gentleman.I know what it feels like to have all these plans and dreams and then have the wheels kicked out from under you and lose it all or what you believe is all @ that time. As a man as husband as a farther when you can not provide how you want to when you can not give and support the woman who has given so much to you, it breaks your spirit, you feel as if you've failed them. That's why understanding what a marriage is so important, for better or for worse through sickness & through health them ain't just words it's a guide to a successful marriage. That's why you stand facing one another holding both hands it signifies the becoming of one it signifies keeping your eyes on each other not losing that focus, it signifies Keeping things out letting nothing I mean nothing come between you, not money, not material things not the kids, not hard times. I commend these couples for having to staying power
Well said 💪🏽🙌🏽
Brother! This is powerful. YOU are powerful!!!🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾💯💯💯💯
I cried my little eyes out. I really needed this, it honestly was confirmation because I knew it was depression due to purpose! Love you guys!!
This is my new favourite thing to watch on RUclips. Black love needs to be shown more, I’ve seen a lot of interracial love and I think it’s beauty but i think it needs to be shown that black love does exist I also love how it addresses mental health especially in the black community. I’m from an African household and mental health is a very taboo subject and I live to see people address it. I’m so here for this channel 🖤
Man, I loved this episode! It truly hits home as a black man, it's tough to keep face and be the King in your household when you're not 100 percent happy. This is the very reason and motivation to write my first book entitled ''Why Not You'' that I released last year on Amazon. You can't expect others to be happy around you when you're not happy yourself. Happiness in a Black Man when he truly defines his purpose in life.
Very lovely!!
We all need to have more conversation like these.
Depression is REAL!!We know God is able to take care of all our needs and he never fails us..Conversations like these with the right people who been through the same or almost the same issue is what we call GREAT THERAPY🙏🙏❤️
Appreciate all of their transparencies during such adversity.
I just realized that's Spencer - the show All American is based on his story.
I love this episode and thank you for posting this on your platform. I'm engaged and I feel that mental health is not just important for yourself but for your partner as well. I think it's important that you are able to create that space for not only yourself but for your partner to feel comfortable to be vulnerable.
Congrats on your engagement!! I agree for me I would like couple’s therapy and individual therapy!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I'm a proud lesbian but I'm here for this!!!!!!!!!! I'm so proud of the initiative being taken by Couples of Color especially you guys. Showing your generation and the youninz that black love does exist, you can grow with each other for 8 years,16, 38, 50+ years. We're not all violent and ratchet, we wanna learn how to communicate better with each other. Show us (young black royalty) why and how its possible, we are hungry for the knowledge and experiences all the couples involved have to share.
Need more of this the up's and downs in a marriage and getting through it.
Y'all should really have these segments again 💯
Love the content. I go through periods of depression that started during my marriage. I thought that I would have the support to get through it once I opened up to my partner. It only further drove him away. Long story short, my marriage did not survive. I am finding my ground, but also have found that I cam exist past the pain. Thank you for exploring the situation before it moved you further away from you partner . Much love and many years to come for each of you. #SUPPORT#COMMUNICATION#BLACKLOVE
Cry.
Good subject content. This type of conversation is definitely needed. Well done.
💜❤️💙
I love to see black couples sit down and discuss their topics like this. Communication is an important part of healing.
WOW This is what's needed on youtube and enough with all the other negative things that we're always seeing on a random. This is worth viewing because it shows we do care about where we're going together. Black Love Thank You.
This message of sharing your story in a creative outlet for the purpose of healing is what I just shared with someone. 😊 Wow! I truly hope that person jumps on board 💓💏😘
Thank you thank you guys. This really liberated me. i thought my marriage was the worst for going through different times of depression.
Codie and Tommy, thank you so much for this channel, this concept and opening this dialogue surrounding black love🖤🖤
I enjoy every episode. These couples give me hope & encourage marriage. Many women see marriage as a goal. For me, it’s a stage during an infinite relationship. This show goes thru the ups & downs that can make or break a couple. I appreciate the insight.
It’s good to hear from regular folk, the struggles this life. Helps me feel ok. TFS
🔥🌹😊
As a single woman I must say I really appreciated this 🙏🏾
This show is life!!!!❤❤❤❤. Our (black) content and knowing WE are free to have conversations like this....thanks to The Ellis'
This was one of the realest episodes!! Thank you so much for being transparent and allowing us in. May God continue to bless all of these couples. 🙏🏾❤️
I think This is the couple that tv show “All American” is based on. This is great!
Which couple? The Ellis’s
@@y_e_i8213 the one in the green shirt. His name is Spencer
What an amazing conversation. Thanks for allowing us to be voyeurs into the intimate spaces of your marriage. I'm learning a lot. So proud of you guys ❤
This tells you that we are all vulnerable and Men ought to pray…Very well needed. This was a big blessing and very insightful. Well done guys 🖤
This is when we must go into spiritual battle. Depression is definitely an attack. 🙏🏽 Keep the convos going. 👏🏽
I love seeing couples like this who are able to discuss their problems. Communication is the key.
I’m not married, but I’m 23 & not happy with my career & this really blessed me
This is love! I am so proud of y'all making loving each other the priority. Y'all are such a joy.
Needed this. It shows that we are ALL human and more connected through our humanity than we think. The struggle is real. Thank you.
These are the discussions we need to have, I commend for talking about your personal lives.
During COVID, this is very relatable. Thanks for this conversation.
I love y’all!! Thank y’all for sharing your life. This is a real life couple, I would love for my husband and I to be guest on the couch. 29 years and we still LIKE each other. ❤️
Great episode to shed light on mental health and its importance. So many suffer in silence. Break down those walls...
Marriage is definitely not for everybody......... when you are not happy and try to force a relationship on someone it will never work and it's not fair to the other person......... in most cases you should cut your losses and move on.
Exactly I agree because everyone is not cut out for all the things that comes with being with someone else or accountable to someone else all the time.....it can be a bit much.
No , marriage is not easy. But hearing these couples stories., sounds like No one was forced to be in the relationships . The love was there. they were all just having a “ for better or for worse” times, and They fought through it. Yes, “cut your loses “. if there’s no love or commitment left . But don’t just move on because of a trial
My Lord, Depression is such a self-defeating stronghold that actually undermines the most wonderful aspects of life. 👑beautiful overcomers
My fiance's mom sent this to me. I suffer from depression. He doesn't understand. I watched & now I'm watching with him. Hopefully he can understand what I go thru better.
Thank all of you for being transparent and vulnerable. In your vulnerability there is strength. Blessings
This couch conversation was so healthy and helpful. Although I am not married yet, I know this conversation will be beneficial for me in the future. Thank you for sharing! This was too good just to like. I had to give ya'll a ❤
Thanks for having this conversation! Very good for even those of us who are dating and not married yet.
I think y'all are the strongest couple because y'all show how imperfect you are and have learned how to teach other how to live through all types of hard times not just one hard time
Wow! This was sooooo informative and the comments l felt were helpful and honest. We need this type of therapy in the black community!!
He’s so real and honest mad respect
Awesome episode. Great discussion!!
I really loved this! Such a great group for this discussion. I do wish in some moments that whoever was talking could finish their point. A couple people got cut off. I don’t think it was intentional at all, we just get excited in conversation 😂I really wanted to hear a couple of them finish their thought and elaborate more! Love this content! 💛
Great job! As a wife of 19 yrs five children I can relate!
Well done! I pray for million more years. ❤️🙏🏿
Yeesh! Strong woman. 25 , 6 years together..2 years married,one baby (hes 5). Its alot,it’s hard. I feel so stuck
@@JJ-kx8gi I feel you but just know that baby will not be a baby for long, keep your head up and stay strong you got this. Love all over your child!
Wow! Out of the mouth of babes...I say babes because I'm 55yo and felt everything they shared. I'm so grateful to see the younger generation's willingness to do things differently 🙏🏿 God bless you for sharing this.
love the transparency!! THANK YOU
I love you guys... thank you so much for doing this. Especially due to COVID, this is a much needed delayed conversation to have... this will empower many...God Bless 🌷
I appreciate this transparency so much….y’all don’t even know!
I suffered from depression for so long, and I’ve never felt like I belong especially because I kinda don’t. I’m learning that sometimes you have to give your environment as well as random people around you the chance to prove that they can be there for you. For me these are a few things that help
•go on a walk 30min everyday. Just go set an alarm and walk it helps
• surround yourself with ppl who believe in you, go where your celebrated(if you need I will celebrate you!! I don’t mind, leave a comment I got you☺️🥰
•whenever you have negative thoughts or feeling stop and say I love you 3 times!!
Thank you! I needed this
I'm not married but I like learning for whenever it happens. Thank you. These couples are very beautiful as well 🇹🇹
I loved this segment, it was powerful was so powerful and informative for both young and older couples alike. I just found you guys on a Breakfast Club interview that I watched mainly because Sistas connection but became a personal fan because of your honesty and willingness to share very personal experiences. I love that you both take care of each other and that’s so beautiful. Now your content just started popping up and I find you an even more intriguing couple so now I’ve subscribed and told my daughter, granddaughter and sister to check you out. My granddaughter whose in her late twenties can gain lots of knowledge from you guys.
Thank you all for being so open and honest and sharing your stories.
I also suffered from major depression which led to hospitalization and out patient treatment for 6 months. I relapsed twice. My condition stemmed from high stress at work and home that resurfaced past traumas. My husband and children were blindsided although my symptoms were growing for years. It was the most difficult time of my life dealing with my illness and my husband's infidelity. My faith in God was also tested because my prayers for the tumultuous state of my marriage felt unheard. Thankfully it wasn't until I accepted that my storm was not dependent upon my prayers to end that I began to heal. We separated for 2 years but he was always trying to come back. It wasn't until I was adamant about divorce that he began to seek counseling for his own issues. We later reconciled and have been back together 6 years.
Praise the Lord for that healing.💗
This discussion on how depression affects people is very insightful and made me realize what purpose really is and without it you do not have the right motivation to pursue your dreams and goals. Christ said, I have come so that you may have life more abundantly but the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy and through depression the enemy can do all these things but I thank GOD for His Son and The Spirit of Truth.
This has been brilliant - Big respect to all you guys for what you are putting out to our community. So needed
I was pregnant and and extremely sick while experiencing depression.Throwing up daily for 8 months while everyone else was happy for me. I remember spotting and 3 months and feeling hopeful that I would miscarry so I could be done being so terribly sick.
The absolute only way the couples can get their marriage back on a loving good track is Both people must have the desire to and want to make their relationship grow. If not then it is an uphill battle when only one want the relationship to heal itself. That’s my opinion. Good to see these 3 couples working thru the rough patches in their marriages. God bless them all.
This was a great topic, thank you all for sharing! This is tough on a marriage. I believe we're still working through this.
Great share! Thank you all for being so vulnerable, authentic and providing a vibe that oozed comfortability with each other and love with respective partners. peace...peace...peace
This this this right here is what I need for my grandkids to grow up seeing!! My marriage is strong in God I’m proud to say. I need my grandkids and my kids to see these young beautiful strong black couples to see the real and know all things is possible and to look for true love in God and then he will send them who they should be with!!
Depression Is Fo Sho A REAL Thing, I FO SHO KNOW...... 🥺
Lovn These Episodes 💌
I love how they really consider each other. Never had that.
I feel like my husband is going through a bought a depression over the recent lost of his dad who was his hero and his biggest fan. His dad went missing for almost 2 months and was then found floating in a pond. We live in Ga and his dad lived in Maryland. This started in June 2021 and he was found I think either late July or early august. It’s was a week before my husbands birthday and we were on the 2nd day of our week long family vacation. Now things are chaotic and he says he doesn’t need counseling bc he’s dealing with it. I’ve encouraged him to go BACK to counseling and NO!! His anger and mood swings are all over the place and I know he loves his family but he is too stubborn and prideful to get help. Now I’m about ready to go. We have 2 small kids that have seen too much tension between us. I’m in a fast right now seeking answers but this video hit home. I literally just started watching you guys for the first time this morning. And it’s 9:21a. I’m about 4 videos in.
You’re in my prayers. Thank you all for sharing.
A beautiful topic transparent, truth, and unconditional love!
This is definitely one of my favs from them, very open, honest and helpful pouring for filling into me. Thank you two and God bless you to continue to be a blessing to others in Jesus name 💙😘💙
Another greatly appreciated & much needed topic & conversation....
Gm I can relate to Depression Bc you smile but fighting your pain inside an wen you’re married or jus dating. We need to let both side no wats we’re battling an Thanks for doin this an w/ couples much ❤️❤️❤️❤️ keep on MANIFEST. PEACE AND BLESSINGS
Thank you to all the couples for being vulnerable it was so helpful 💕
Awesome heartfelt conversation
Accountability is the key...
Thank you all for sharing. Powerful healing stuff here
Not black, but in a long term relationship. I respect the vulnerability y'all share. As men we can be very proud, but its good to share the struggles and learn from each other. Iron sharpens iron.
💪🏽
I love you guys and I'm so proud of you and how you use your platform. Sooooo proud to be Black...wow!