I feel like the more I declutter and cut the attachments to material objects, the more I learn about myself and draw my power back to myself. It’s almost like these things are holding a tiny part of us hostage!
I've been decluttering steady since 2016 when I saw The Minimalists documentary. But I didn't see any progress until I stopped shopping and became a strict gatekeeper about what came into my home. Decluttering isn't a "one and done" job.
The fact that you DON’T simply give ideas with zero context and contemplation, is one of the main reasons why I love you and your channel and watch all of your videos!! 🤗❤
I would add something that I've not seen on any decluttering channel, blog, or book. Take care of your inner child. Decluttering is serious adulting and its easy to come up against resistance. I tackled my kitchen beginning in March. It was very hard work and not fun. So I made bargains with my inner child along the lines of If you hang with me through this today, tomorrow we will do an art project or I'll make a dress for a doll in our collection. It worked wonders to get all my selves on the same page. The kitchen project took two and a half months because it evolved into a deep cleaning, minor repairs, and decluttering adventure. I'm so glad I did it this way. Now, even when the kitchen gets messy, it takes so much less time to put it back in order. And my inner child had a lot of fun.
Isn’t it funny how we are all different. I follow 20 Minimalist/Organizing channels. When I came to your channel I had already gone through my all of my possessions 4 times! However, I was very stuck on some very private letters and memorabilia from my Mom and Dads life. I felt I was the Keeper of them. And even though they were tucked away and neatly organized in three boxes, they called to me. They had an energy that came with them that was very sad and draining for me. You are the only one of my Minimalists that spoke directly to me about these types of items. And their price I paid to hold on to them. I needed to see your emotions and your process and hear your words around this process specific to this type of decluttering. I am now completely free of those items! And, I have kept just a few things from each of my parents that mean something to me. And those things bring me only joy. I also continue to watch all my other channels because each brings me different perspectives. Thank you for helping me when I couldn’t help myself in this area. ❤
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this all out for me - stories like yours are the reason I’m here! ❤️ You’re right, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.
I agree, Marissa is so real about the emotional part of decluttering that so many others don’t talk about. It’s such a big part of the process for a lot of us too.
My mother was the original minimalist. My dad just the opposite. My mom remarried after divorce from my dad and moved from St. Paul (MN) to Houston. She gave just about everything to my dad. After that she only bought the bare minimum for her new apartment with my stepdad. I, being a bit like my dad, couldn't understand it at all. Where were all the "pretty" things? Now every time I pitch crap out I imagine my mom (gone for almost 40 years) cheering me on. Thanks, Mom.
OMG - 'the internal work is just as important as the external work' - YES! YES! YES! I'm only 1 year into my decluttering journey, and for me the internal work is even MORE important than the external work. While I've never been a big shopper, I certainly have attached too much meaning and significance to the things that I own and the stories that I attach to them. How I got it, where I used it, what someone said about that item. Every single dress, every hair clip, every book, my home was like a living museum! Now I'm learning how to access those stories WITHOUT the objects, as well as focus more on the present - the new memories and experiences that we are creating today.
(At 6:40) I always look around the thrift store after I donate because,hey,I’m right there. However,I always try to upgrade my possessions. For example,one time after donating,I went into my favorite Humane Society Thrift Shop and found a set of four,brand new,Williams Sonoma,polished stainless steel cooking utensils for $4.00! I bought them and immediately got rid of six plastic ones from my utensil crock. I’m so glad I went in!🙌🏻
wow - if that person doesn't like the chatter on here then why watch these vids? this is what your channel is about and thats what we're here for! this was inspirational for me...thanx!
I really don't feel like you talk too much. You explain things very well, and I appreciate that. Thank you for reaching out and helping so many people like me.
I’m just starting this journey (well I’m about a year in) ADMITTEDLY UNSUCCESSFUL…but I am trying. I had a stage of depression that lasted 3 years. I just let clutter soothe me. Shopping for things I didn’t need or even really want. Not being able to let go of unsentimental “sentimental” things….but the past month or so I’ve been really digging in. I have loaded up one of my husbands work vans 2x so far with donations. I find it hard to keep up with my daily housework and then Declutter and reorganize. I am hoping this video will help me get through the jump of stalemate I am feeling.
It’s so weird that people need to leave a comment to tell you why your channel isn’t right for them. Scroll on by, people! I enjoyed seeing some footage of your life in previous spaces and stages.
I just do one cupboard at a time , now . I originally started with putting the same thing together. Then I sorted the best of the best. We've been married 50 years , same home for 32, theres alot! I removed all the left behind children's unwanted things. What a relief! My craft stuff took a whole week.! Now I'm seriously into downsizing. Its just time for much to go to another home. 😊
Anyone who says you talk too much can just go elsewhere. The emotional talk is why your channel is my favourite. It’s like the minimalism version of when you’re having a bad day and your bestie pops in for a coffee and a catch up! 😅❤
Please never stop talking too much. For those viewers that want the quick list and that’s their process then RUclips, Pinterest and just plain Google are full of that. I literally sit down and watch your videos, pausing every feed minutes taking too class life notes. You are the first person I have found that speaks my language since my hoarder self lost both parents and immigrated abroad. I got myself to a very healthy point regarding my clutter over the last 12 years. Now with your inspiration I’m getting ready to tackle that very painful emotional clutter. Thank you ❤
I watched multiple de cluttering videos and ran across yours. Thank you for talking about identity. I grew up with an abusive father and a passive-aggressive mother. If my father didn’t like a particular behavior, he would tear up my things in my room reminding me he paid for it and it was his house. As an adult, I do associate “my” things with my identity. Intellectually, I get it. But when you discussed the underlying emotions attached to things, I cried. Then, compound that with parents who literally grew up dirt poor in the Depression, I was taught never to throw anything away. Today, I’m going to tackle a utensil drawer with broken handles. I have five graters. I don’t need five! Again, thank you for emphasizing the emotional side of why our homes become cluttered in the first place. Thank you.
So much good information here, this was a wonderful video. I would not say I’m a full-on minimalist, but I definitely don’t like clutter and like for my home to be easy to manage. On the other hand, I also want it to be cozy and inviting. One thing I would add is to have some grace for yourself and recognize that there are different seasons in your life and that life can be unpredictable. I embarked on a no-buy year in 2018 and it was going wonderfully, without a single slip, until mid-May when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Suddenly I had postsurgical gear, chemo caps, medical items and new clothes to fit my altered body. At that point in my life, decluttering was the least of my worries. But you can always get back to simplifying. Another thing I never would have predicted was the pandemic and working from home. I didn’t have the kind of job where working from home was even an option before, and then suddenly there was telehealth. It took me a few years to finally allow myself to get rid of all my work clothes since I dress much more casually now. We also built a small home in the woods a couple of years ago and I did a big purge prior to moving here so that I wasn’t having to store a bunch of stuff. I’m an avid cook but I was able to pair down so that we did not need to put in upper cabinets in our kitchen, for instance. But it’s a lifelong process. I do decluttering in small projects now, don’t worry if I can’t get everything done at once, and acknowledge that life continuously changes. You live differently with small children than you do with older children, and both of those are very very different from being on your own or just with a spouse. Currently, I’m adapting to having two messy, chewing hound dogs in the home, with their need for bones, dog beds and what not. I fully believe you can have both simplicity and the normal chaos of life, and be grateful for all of it.
Wow “external clutter is just internal clutter on display” really hits home for me. I truly appreciate this acknowledgment and take the shame I feel away just a little bit.
Please don't change the way you express yourself, because of some comments you receive...i just find everything you say and do so useful and meaningful! So thank you and greatings from Argentina!
Marissa, the videos where you said "it took me five years" gave me permission to start on the hard stuff. I first did Marie Kondo in 2014, and it works very well for clothes. There was no way I was ready to give up books or tackle the papers, so I stalled out. Since the beginning of May, two months ago, I have made great progress on papers and other closet-stashed items. My older son (I also have two sons) graduated high school, and my mom and I went through his baby things so I could decide what few items are most precious to me to keep now. Mom complimented me on my willingness to declutter! It's a long haul. I'm buoyed again this weekend by an older friend who posted on socials how exhausting it is that she is packing, cleaning, and decluttering her entire house to move to a condo. If I'm this tired at my current age, imagine getting started in 15-20 years or whenever we are ready to move. There is *so much* to do. This is going to take a long time, but thanks to encouragement like yours, I'm keeping at it.
and the moving from a big space to a smaller space is why in doing it now. my parents had to do that too. theres still a bunch of stuff i suspect packed away not really dealt with. i was going through some stuff decluttering i just found a recipet from 2018 -_- i just try to remind myself im doing this for the long term. not for just the short term. ive had a table next to me cluttered for weeks and ive been struggling with it.
There are tons of repeated “things to declutter” videos that I’m very bored with, so I don’t think you are talking too much, I think you are great in sharing your thoughts (and not too much). Love your videos 💕
I know about the thrift stores! I used to bring a couple bags a week for my first few years or more of my minimalist journey , I’d then go in and buy a few things! I will still go in but usually don’t get anything , or just a book , or if I am lucky some sheet music, and I use the thrift like a rental , I bring the book back when I am done reading it , so worth the few dollars , instead of getting from a book store
To me downsizing is a very slow process as it is hard to make that decision. 2015 we moved into a home a third of the size we had. Our garage only had a walkway in the middle. When retirement came up we started to downsize again as I knew we want an even smaller house. I make myself have a couple of garage sales a year to help this process. It wasn’t til a couple years ago I came across minimalist on RUclips. It has helped encourage me to keep going. Now that I am a widow I realise one day that I will most likely will only be living in a few rooms so downsizing continues. The bright side is that my children will not have all that work to do when I pass on. It’s amazingly that things you keep, that children nowadays do not want.
About #10--I find that decluttering is like peeling an onion, there's always another layer. Removing each layer reveals the next, and having time between helps with seeing and then letting go of more. Great lessons here!
Key Points: 🔑 - Start small - don't try to declutter everything at once 🏃♀️ - You're not defined by your stuff - let go of attachments 💭 - Focus on internal work too - reflect on why clutter built up 🧘♀️ - Put spending on hold - don't bring in new stuff while decluttering 🛑 - Don't wait for perfect time - make time amidst life's busyness ⏱️ - Ask the right questions - use checklists to guide decisions ❓ - Change categories if stuck - switch focus if you hit a rut 🚧 - Set intentions - define how spaces should feel and function 💡 - Keep what sparks joy - not just for aesthetics 🌈 - Declutter repeatedly - make it an ongoing habit 🗓️ - Talk to others - have conversations that inspire change 🗣️ - Start with visible clutter - clears space and boosts morale 🏆 - Schedule decluttering time - dedicate time for it routinely 📅 - Involve family - teach kids decluttering habits 👪 - Be compassionate - appreciate how far you've come 🤗 - Discard first - then organize what remains 🗑️➡️📦 - Celebrate small wins - mark progress to stay motivated ✅ - Stop acquiring clutter - curb shopaholic tendencies 🛒❌ - Give away items - donate to charity or gift loved ones 🎁 - Set limits on categories - prevent clutter from returning 🚫 - Maintain open spaces - visually calming and functional 🏝️ - Display thoughtfully - showcase your style mindfully 🖼️ - Streamline paperwork - reduce files and billing clutter 🗃️ - Review yearly - clear seasonal or unused items 📆 - Let go of perfection - progress over perfect order ✨ - Schedule decluttering time - dedicate time for it routinely 📅
Thanks for this really helpful list - I’m going to print it and use it as my reference for supporting my declutter decision making process to avoid becoming overwhelmed which has happened before when I’ve attempted everything at once along with decorating the whole house - unfortunately an aspect of BPD 🤦♀️🙄🤞🏻
Ive been doing the marathon version of decluttering for a few years now and i just now feel like im starting to make true progress. Ive learned to turn my emotions of (mostly) to my belongings and realize the memories are in me not my things
I agree about it taking years to see any progress! Several years ago, I got rid of no less than about 8 black bin liners of clothes to the charity shop. I also remember getting rid of a massive amount of old supermarket plastic bags, some of which were so old, they had started to rot. But despite all this work, and getting rid of seemingly hundreds of items, this didn't seem to make much of an impact. You have to go through several rounds of decluttering before you even start to see some results.
“Why spending so much money on buying more things when your home is already filled with stuff” is exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you for that! I do plan to declutter my home ‘cause I think I have so much that it is overwhelming me and I will also take your advice that “do a little when there is time is much better than than trying to find time for everything at once”. It will also make me finding time for accepting that I’m not what I own. Thank you again for your wise advice. I take it to my heart and now I’m a subscriber to your channel.
So many great tips here. I particularly liked the comparison to test taking strategy. If you get stuck move on to the easier questions - not only are you saving time but building confidence! Had a friend who would panic on tests when she suddenly didn't remember how to solve something, she would fall apart and be unable to complete the test. Sometimes if you skip a hard question and find something easier when you come back to the harder question you have found your groove! Building confidence in decluttering works the same way. 😊
Oh wow that 'sprint versus marathon' quote re Marie Kondo just stopped me from actually doing anything. I absolutely agree with your comment about doing small things here and there. I decluttered our top drawer and one of the benches in the kitchen. Took me a couple of hours but I've been able to maintain these spaces and now feel like having that success means I want to build on it and find other small, manageable areas to declutter.
"Decluttering is a form of self-care" and we do it for our future-self. What a wonderful way to embrace a daunting and often scary task. You never know what you might find (out about yourself) in the process. Thank you again.
You don't talk to much - you take the time to explain things well and share why the topic you're discussing matters. Most helpful "ah-ha moment" for me was realizing I wasn't making progress, despite all my purging of items, because the inflow of items wasn't being addressed. Thank you for all your helpful videos!
I really appreciate you distilling your life lessons into this list. I have a hard time decluttering ‘identity’ clutter that feels like part of who I am. Your taking the time to discuss doing the internal work so clutter doesn’t rebound is helpful. I find having an empty donation boxes near where I have my books and quilting supplies makes it easier to declutter. When the box is full, I drop it off at our library for the Friends of the Library sales and I take quilting supplies to our quilt guild’s Care Quilt program (they make charity quilts). Makes it easier for me to declutter knowing that my possessions are going to help others.
I could never live in a house empty of pretty things. Beauty is such a part of my life and adds quality to my days. Accessories are important and I think that some people declutter to the point of making their living spaces boring and ugly. Certainly I do not like junk piling up and keep all my spaces well organized including closets, cabinets, drawers, garage and storage room. I am continually letting go of things I haven't used in years or that don't appeal to me anymore. I'm just saying that sometimes this movement goes too far.
I agree with you. While I do like clear counters, I also like my walls to have something on them (her walls are bare) and I do like accessories for clothing, etc. To go mega stark is not necessarily a good idea. Isn't stark the environment of jail or mental hospital? Just wonderin?
@@deborahsimpson2732 Yes,there’s a reason why your Realtor will advise you to remove all of your photos and personal items from your home when staging to sell. Because then it will look like no one lives there,more of the idea of a model home.😖
This is where really understanding Marie Kondo's philosophy makes such a difference. Kondo never said to get rid of all your stuff. She said to let go of that which doesn't spark joy. If it sparks joy, or if it's useful and necessary, you keep it - including if that makes your house more full than someone else's! I too could never be comfortable in a house this empty, that's a stylistic personal choice though - if anyone tells you your house has to look like that definitely don't listen to them!
I decluttered around 465 items this year. I was on my decluttering journey since 2018 but bounced back again in shopping unnecessary clothings and stuffs. I was exhausted and not on my best behavior. I then sat and did thorough examination how the materials are overshadowing my personality, my mood and my overall health. Then, i made up my mind that there's no going back this time and decluttered around 465 items since January 2023. Its been almost a year i haven't purchased a single piece of clothing or anything as such. I am an avid reader so i couldn't declutter the books. However i decluttered the books that were not my thing. Its been a year i have not purchased a single book. I wanted to read everything that's already with me before buying the new ones. I'm downsizing everyday and I set out timer for 15 -20 minutes a week to go through my belongings over and over again if I need to get rid of sth. I had over two dozens of hand carrys, slings, backpacks but i got rid of them all and now i only have three of them in various style. I have stopped buying too much clothes for my son as well as kids outgrow their clothes so fast. Decluttering journey has been the best decision and so far the main ingredient for my prosperous mental health.
I can’t even begin to tell you how helpful your videos have been, and continue to be - I regularly revisit them, to keep me on track. Thank you SO much Marissa 😊
Totally agree that you need to carry out a lot of internal work before you can let go of external clutter. I am now gaining momentum thanks to your help 👊 This doesn’t happen over night - You need to keep in mind what your end goal is.
I agree with you with #3. I don’t watch the videos « 20 things to declutter now » as they are always the same: throw away expired food, medicine, broken toys etc. That is not my problem with clutter. My problem is how to let go of the attachment I have for my things. I am good at not bringing stuff in anymore. Next step is I want to do the in and out chart, just so I have a visual ☺️ starting this month, so half the year!
I feel like I've been doing a pretty good job of decluttering. The past 4 or so years I have lived an extremely busy and chaotic life which made me feel stressed out. I have put a ton of time into thinking about how I want to live a less stressful life, and what that would look like. It gave me time to make notes of areas of my house I want to declutter when I found time to do so. When I found the time to declutter, I would focus on 1-2 areas that would take me 30 minutes or less so I wouldn't get overwhelmed, and I don't put time constraints on myself as to when something needs to get done. I also just recently got back from a trip to Scandinavia where I got to visit Norway, Denmark, and Sweden. In Norway I did a home visit as an excursion and it gave me a ideas on how I can decorate my house in a simple way that is clutter free, as well as give me an idea of what people over there consider essentials in their homes. It made me think about if certain things I have in my home are really needed, or if certain things I have on my wish list of items I want to purchase are really needed.
I thought the conversation you had about internal conflict was very helpful for people to hear. You are right to talk about that, because as a therapist it is about the internal process of thinking so you can change how and why you keep things or can't let things go. You are doing a good job communicating and helping others. So, I just wanted to encourage you and thanking you. It helps me to hear it all.
To the people criticizing you for "talking" too much... there's plenty of black & white lists to print... I really appreciate you helping me focus on the why not just the what in this journey. So just wanted to pause at 4:48 and tell you thank you!
So encouraging to hear from someone who has been on the journey for years. We just passed our one year self-imposed deadline for downsizing. We did get rid of a lot of stuff over the year, and i came to the realization is an ongoing process. My next steo is letting go of "fantasy me" items - craft projects that I never finished or even started, magazines I saved to read one article "one day", etc. A little mourning goes with this, and a lot of freedom.
Love the deep dive on this. And to the ones complaining that there’s too much talk. You’re impatience and lack of care and thought is the problem. Do the work in identifying your values and bring them into your decisions. You’ll be calmer more grounded and organized. No one can give you a list for this - you can only do this for yourself. Enjoy the journey!
Thank you so much. I really needed to hear this. I have been so overwhelmed trying to declutter, that things got worse. I kept focusing on the big picture instead of one step at a time. We are made to believe we need things to survive, when in reality, those very things are what make us miserable. A lot of people get into debt because they think they need to buy things they really don't need. It's a scary cycle we need to break free from.
I remember my first-day decluttering. I stumble on a decluttering video. (min-mom) I went to my junk drawer. I was hooked after that. I did all my kitchen cabinets that day. The feeling I got was strength! I said to myself... I am sick of all this stuff. I look at stuff weekly, and I am continually tossing stuff out. Layer by layer for the past 3 yrs has been incredible. Throw in a bit of Swedish death cleaning too! The work made my life more straightforward now. Easy-peasy.
You Rule Girl! I love that you are helping people connect their internal clutter with their external clutter, thank you so much for helping me work through some of my hangups 🤗
Great advice, again. Thank you. The point about our clutter being a outside manifestation of our internal chaos/issues/struggles really hit home for me. Also, trying to make our homes look a certain way may not turn out the way we hoped. I found, in my experience, that when my home looked like the magazines (back in the day, showing my age) it felt like I was living in a museum or someone else's home. It felt off... Like you said, when you focus on what you enjoy/like, and what makes you happy, your home will feel so much better, comfortable & like, well, home, to you. 😊 Thank you again for another inspiring chat. 😊 And happy 7th Clutter-free Anniversary 🎉👏🏻
At first, very hard to declutter, but in the long run, you will enjoy more time and space when you accept and learned being a minimalist. Thank you so much Mam for sharing your minimalist life with your family👍♥️☺️.
There are plenty of lists on the internet of what to declutter. Don't come here looking for an oversimplification of something so important. I love how Marissa makes me feel like part of her personal journey because of how she tells her story. I watched nearly 100 videos about similar things and none appealed to me, even though I desperately needed to change my situation, as well. None convinced me until I found this channel. Marissa, I can't thank you enough for starting this channel. I'm so glad you haven't changed your style to please those rude commentors. Your experience is important and influential to so many people like me. And the emotion, reverence, and thoughtfulness with which you present it are perfect. Anything else would not do justice to your amazing experience.
The 15-30 min and don’t wait for the « right » time is helpful for neurodivergent minds. My biggest area for help is papers and letting go of clothing I no longer wear. BTW - Mari Kondo has relaxed since having children. I also don’t want to shame myself during this process - which I feel the minimalist community has a knack of practicing- this can be the worst nightmare for perfectionists. I don’t consider myself part of the minimalist community though - a mix between minimalist and maximalism. It also helps when all family members are on board. I haven’t bought books (unless for classes) in years, however I have books that are out of print and yes, they’re part of my identity. I definitely want to continue to work on my clothes. I enjoy the ritual of switching clothes and shoes for the season - it helps with the transition and feels like a way to say good bye to the old season and welcome the new season. Looking forward to creating more systems that will help me get organized.
I found you fairly recently and I love all the "inside" stuff that you share. The inside is what got you here in the first place cause for some reason we have clutter when others do not - so it isn't the stuff but the person.
I didn’t like very much M. Kondo principles, but one thing that really helped me from her book, was the moment I gathered all the clothes and I realised how big the pile was and that there was a problem 😅 Thanks for the great tips!
The test-taking analogy is a great way to put into perspective how hyper- focusing on one single problem can keep you from overall success. This applies to all areas of life since life itself is a sort of test with a time limit.
I moved away from the U.S. 8 years ago and one of my childhood best friends just came to visit. She just left and I have been crying all day, your video came up on the RUclips feed (I have watched many of your other videos!) And it just felt so comforting to watch. I was wondering why? Lol but then I remembered that you speak a lot about grief, you also don't have family around and there is just so much more to your videos than decluttering. So to those who want a list, they are missing something so beautiful and deep. Thank you!! ❤️
I really love and appreciate how you share the importance of inner work while decluttering. And I absolutely feel that it's a holistic process, a shift of mind, a release of emotional (and physical) attachements and reorganising your life by aligning with your true values and a deeper sense of self and meaning. Thank you for all the valuable content and inspiration. Keep being (and expanding) your brilliant self!
I love this video and especially how you navigate people essentially wanting an alternative option of a set of rules instead of doing the work. As a therapist I agree with lots of points that you have made in this and other videos and think you are so coherent and resilient to keep putting out a positive, no judgemental space for people wanting to simplify. I wish I had a video like this when I first started my minimalism journey in 2014! Keep up all your great work! ❤
I'm also a young mom of 2 children and I can confirm that there's no such thing as the right time but the benefits of decluttering are so liberating that it's worth the hassle. If I have a few tips to share: . Fix the root of your problem(s), not the symptoms. If you fear to let certain things go, ask yourself why it is so hard. It's only an object after all. Therapy might help for this . Less is more. Less inventory to manage equals more time to do other things that fulfill us instead of dragging us down . Quality over quantity and that's easier to achieve when we stop spending money on items that do not bring real value to our life
Hi Marissa 👋I have been binge watching your videos over the past month. I just let them auto play while I am cleaning or at work and each video has been awesome! I can relate to pretty much everything you say. I am 37 with a toddler and my partner has 4 other children so you can imagine how many things we have! Because of all the messes and clutter I feel so hopeless and out of control. I have realized that your home should be your peace and a nice sanctuary away from the world rather than add to the chaos of it. I have also been getting turned off by so much consumerism and so minimalism is something I had heard of but didn't really know much about until I found you! And thank goodness I did find you!!! Although I am still in the pre-de-clutter phase and just watching your videos with very little action yet, (although I have had a yard sale and gotten a few items out), I am working my way up to it - with you by my side! So thank you so much. You have no idea how much it means to me to not feel hopeless and to know there is a way out and I can have a better life. As a new first time mom, I just don't want my son to have to grow up in messes and clutter. I cannot control the inventory and we simply just don't need so much stuff! I don't want to spend all my time cleaning when I would rather have quality time with my son. You are such an inspiration! We can't control the world around us or what society tells us to do or what to buy but we can control our world and our controllables and that is just what I am working on. It's still scary because of the emotional attachments to some things (most things) so I know it won't be easy but I have just let life happen and I am ready to take charge. I really hope I can get my partner and his kids on board so I will be using your videos as back up support and watching/re-watching them! Thanks again! You are amazing! I look forward to being happy and free like you! 💛
You may also resonate with Dana K. White's no-mess decluttering system as her method of decluttering can be done in those tiny bits of time squeezed in between all other necessary child-bearing/family building activities and you Never Ever make a mess ever - whenever you stop, you have only ever made progress! Her method works really well for those with a lot of small children or those who have ADHD or medical issues who can only work on decluttering in small bursts. I encourage you to look her up - she's on RUclips & has a Podcast as well & has written several books such as "Decluttering at the speed of life" & "How to manage your home without losing your mind"... This may be a good way for you to get started on your decluttering journey without becoming overwhelmed 🤗💗
I watched this video TWICE. It really spoke to me and validated some of the methods I was already incorporating. It also inspired me to finally purge checkbooks from when my adult daughters were in Elementary School! I now keep digital pictures/files of items I’d still like to reference, but not physically keep. The new challenge is to organize them once a week for easy reference. I am also journaling to capture how I was feeling vs how I am now feeling about the items I allowed into my life and why?! I want to be more mindful and live more in the present having shared experiences with those I really care about.
Hullo I'm not done with the video but just got to that part about people saying you talk too much... 1. I disagree 150%. All of the things you said hit the nail on the head. Its all so important. Everything you say/share is valuable and I'm grateful. 2. There are plenty of videos/articles that would fit into what these people need. I wish it was easier for folks to remember/realize. Thank you for being here and for sharing everything you've learned!
I’m just starting my decluttering journey and I have to admit that I felt pressure to get it all done right away, but your encouragements helped relieve the pressure I was putting on myself. I love all of your thoughts and ideas on this… Moving on to a different category or space when you feel decision fatigue, spending freezes (because we also love to shop after we’ve just dropped off donations), spending 15 minutes each day (because I also get stuck in wanting to do it all right away in the most perfect setting with all the time in the world) and I especially loved the advice on getting to the root of why you have all this stuff, or why it’s not organized or how you got to where you are right now… We’ve lost three important people in the first six months of this year and I recognize our clutter as a symptom of our internal chaos. We are all wanting to break free.
America's #1 Cleaning Expert, Don Aslett said in one of his books that the average home contains an average of 182,000 items. I believe that and have dejunked a LOT.
You are soooo right - the internal work is very important! I feel like the Marie Kondo method of taking everything of a single category out at once and decluttering works well if you are already pared down and somewhat minimal (as I am). Great video!
I love how Marissa didn't blur out that negative commenter's name & photo who just "wants cool suggestions". Not letting her hide behind anonymity and calling her sh*t out, LOL! 🙌🔥🙌
Definitely think with #7, that people sometimes THINK that they can get serious about trying to keep up with a hobby they loved, but really there is no drive for it. If they haven't done it for several years but hope to again, but put in no effort, then it is an issue. It is just that I have helped people declutter and have heard so many say, "I haven't been able to do this in a couple years." Then I suggest ways for them to make time for it and that if they don't feel that passion anymore, to not keep the materials for it, etc. However, so many of them will keep those things for a hopeful time but never push themselves to do it, so I honestly suggest people get rid of the item if they aren't even trying to make time for it and keep it hidden away. I know for myself, I once bought something that I thought I'd use a lot because I once used a similar thing to it for years when I was young. I only used the item a couple times, so I realized, the passion I once had for it is not there anymore. I have learned to do that for other things in my life. . .I won't buy things unless I know I will work at it. I have quite a few hobbies and I make time for them. If I have no drive left, I seriously move on and don't continue in it, but it is rare these days because I have programmed myself. There is a lack of discipline and goal orientation in many who attempt to declutter (which is why your #8 is so great about setting up intentions). That is beautiful that you guys reread books. I think I have reread up to 10 books ever in my life, and so I don't keep books. I have started to read only kindle books because of it or I go to the library instead. I used to be heavily into this book swapping website that isn't doing so well these days, but I did it for about 14 years! I would have a wishlist I'd make, and when someone listed one of their used books on the site, and if I was near the top of the wait list for it, I would receive it. Then I can list it when I am done. I got rid of most of my books that way, and sold others. I loved it. I swapped over 1k books on that site (I read about 100 books a year as it is, sometimes more). I can't imagine if I were to have kept all those books! Always love your lists and your vids.
The idea of a buy nothing period is very welcoming. I was out shopping yesterday and intended to buy some new clothes. I guess it was good luck that nothing I tried on suited me. I don't need any more clothes. I have more than enough items to get me though the whole work week without needing to wear anything twice. I was shopping for entertainment and to distract myself from some unpleasant things I didn't want to think about. Even though I don't buy expensive clothes or home goods, it still all adds up: too much money spent and too much stuff accumulated. The truth is that I have more than enough of everything I need. So, instead of buying something, I made a donation to the local Humane Society. I think that was a much better use of my money than buying stuff I don't need.
Awesome tips - I love watching your videos!! 😊 I love what you said about “perfection is the enemy of progress” and the example of getting caught up about the dirty dishes in the sink. It might sound strange, but I like decluttering when a room is messy - because I know the dishes still in the cabinets (and not in the sink) or the clothes still in the drawers (and not in the dirty clothes hamper) are the ones not being used. It makes it easier for me to focus on the less frequently used items. Thanks again!! 😊
Love your posts and love the community! Growing up in the Army, we decluttered with every move. Never knew we were trend setters! 😂 But when Dad retired, after 25 years, that's when the consumption began. 😱 I'm 68 now, and after 1 divorce, 2 deaths (and an involuntary "declutter" after each husband), I'm embarking on my life's final declutter. This time, it's for me and what i want and to save my time and sanity because it's a whole new chapter of my life now. I'm adding Swedish Death Cleaning to your coaching, encouragement, and wonderful tips as well as tips and encouragement from the community. Thanks, everyone! The world is so much different after Covid, and it's fabulous to add another community to my life.❤🙏😊
Great tips! I've actually did the "sprint" method of decluttering and I shot myself in the foot because I gave away my baking sheets and ended up spending MORE money because I later needed them, not very smart. One of my BEST inspirations for decluttering is the show "Hoarders", no joke. After I watch Hoarders I go on a cleaning and decluttering rampage.
I love the remark, "decluttering once is never enough. I'm on my 8th decluttering pass. The process has halted many times, restarted, and gone at different speeds.
Please like + comment with YOUR best tips, lessons, or advice ► 📋 FREE 10-page declutter checklist here » atozenlife.com/free-declutter-checklist
I can see the webpage and it describes what the checklist provides but where can I download it?
@@lavenderm There should be a place to enter your email address, and instructions to download and print will be sent to you there 👍
scroll to the of the page & you'll see a box!
@@jmsl_910 Thank you!
@@AtoZenLife Thank you!
Instead of throwing away, my minimalism journey has been about stopping buying. I used up all the extras I had, saved money and decluttered naturally.
I feel like the more I declutter and cut the attachments to material objects, the more I learn about myself and draw my power back to myself. It’s almost like these things are holding a tiny part of us hostage!
I 💯 agree!
Very true! every time I get rid of something or sold something, I feel like I got a part of me back ❤
Wow, so true!
No, baby huge part. It is fear.
If I were living alone, I’d sell everything, buy a small rv and travel. My house, yard and all the daily cleaning is getting in my nerves !!!!
"External clutter is just your internal clutter on display".. love it, absolutely love it - thank you for that!
I've been decluttering steady since 2016 when I saw The Minimalists documentary. But I didn't see any progress until I stopped shopping and became a strict gatekeeper about what came into my home. Decluttering isn't a "one and done" job.
So game-changing 👏👏👏
it is an ongoing process, for LIFE! ..YOUR LIFE!
Is that the one with the 2 guys?
Yes!!! I used to go to TJ Maxx because I was bored and bought bags of stuff I didn't even need.
I like what I've heard"don't bring it in to start with"instead of decluttering,stop buying.
The fact that you DON’T simply give ideas with zero context and contemplation, is one of the main reasons why I love you and your channel and watch all of your videos!! 🤗❤
Yes, we're not looking for trendy/gimmicky ideas, but an actual lifestyle change. Keep doing what you are doing!
I would add something that I've not seen on any decluttering channel, blog, or book. Take care of your inner child. Decluttering is serious adulting and its easy to come up against resistance. I tackled my kitchen beginning in March. It was very hard work and not fun. So I made bargains with my inner child along the lines of If you hang with me through this today, tomorrow we will do an art project or I'll make a dress for a doll in our collection. It worked wonders to get all my selves on the same page. The kitchen project took two and a half months because it evolved into a deep cleaning, minor repairs, and decluttering adventure. I'm so glad I did it this way. Now, even when the kitchen gets messy, it takes so much less time to put it back in order. And my inner child had a lot of fun.
I will try this, thanks!
Isn’t it funny how we are all different. I follow 20 Minimalist/Organizing channels. When I came to your channel I had already gone through my all of my possessions 4 times! However, I was very stuck on some very private letters and memorabilia from my Mom and Dads life. I felt I was the Keeper of them. And even though they were tucked away and neatly organized in three boxes, they called to me. They had an energy that came with them that was very sad and draining for me. You are the only one of my Minimalists that spoke directly to me about these types of items. And their price I paid to hold on to them. I needed to see your emotions and your process and hear your words around this process specific to this type of decluttering. I am now completely free of those items! And, I have kept just a few things from each of my parents that mean something to me. And those things bring me only joy. I also continue to watch all my other channels because each brings me different perspectives. Thank you for helping me when I couldn’t help myself in this area. ❤
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this all out for me - stories like yours are the reason I’m here! ❤️ You’re right, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.
I agree, Marissa is so real about the emotional part of decluttering that so many others don’t talk about. It’s such a big part of the process for a lot of us too.
Scan those letters and pictures onto your computer and throw out the originals.
I went through my letters and cards my husband and I have exchanged and pared them down, thinking about my child possibly reading them one day.
My mother was the original minimalist. My dad just the opposite. My mom remarried after divorce from my dad and moved from St. Paul (MN) to Houston. She gave just about everything to my dad. After that she only bought the bare minimum for her new apartment with my stepdad. I, being a bit like my dad, couldn't understand it at all. Where were all the "pretty" things? Now every time I pitch crap out I imagine my mom (gone for almost 40 years) cheering me on. Thanks, Mom.
OMG - 'the internal work is just as important as the external work' - YES! YES! YES! I'm only 1 year into my decluttering journey, and for me the internal work is even MORE important than the external work.
While I've never been a big shopper, I certainly have attached too much meaning and significance to the things that I own and the stories that I attach to them. How I got it, where I used it, what someone said about that item. Every single dress, every hair clip, every book, my home was like a living museum!
Now I'm learning how to access those stories WITHOUT the objects, as well as focus more on the present - the new memories and experiences that we are creating today.
(At 6:40) I always look around the thrift store after I donate because,hey,I’m right there. However,I always try to upgrade my possessions. For example,one time after donating,I went into my favorite Humane Society Thrift Shop and found a set of four,brand new,Williams Sonoma,polished stainless steel cooking utensils for $4.00! I bought them and immediately got rid of six plastic ones from my utensil crock. I’m so glad I went in!🙌🏻
Great point!
wow - if that person doesn't like the chatter on here then why watch these vids? this is what your channel is about and thats what we're here for! this was inspirational for me...thanx!
Exactly! The talk is the whole point of this channel, and where the good info is!
❤well said ! Stop spreading negativity. Get off our channel we love her !!!!!!!
The chattering is what people look for to listen to while they're cleaning. The body doubling thing.
I really don't feel like you talk too much. You explain things very well, and I appreciate that. Thank you for reaching out and helping so many people like me.
same. Thank you Marissa
I’m just starting this journey (well I’m about a year in) ADMITTEDLY UNSUCCESSFUL…but I am trying. I had a stage of depression that lasted 3 years. I just let clutter soothe me. Shopping for things I didn’t need or even really want. Not being able to let go of unsentimental “sentimental” things….but the past month or so I’ve been really digging in. I have loaded up one of my husbands work vans 2x so far with donations. I find it hard to keep up with my daily housework and then Declutter and reorganize. I am hoping this video will help me get through the jump of stalemate I am feeling.
I’m watching this today. It’s been 3 years. Of Declutter. .. I’m liking empty space! More n more. 😂
It took me 3 years to get the bulk of it done, too. Enjoy 😊
It’s so weird that people need to leave a comment to tell you why your channel isn’t right for them. Scroll on by, people! I enjoyed seeing some footage of your life in previous spaces and stages.
I just do one cupboard at a time , now . I originally started with putting the same thing together. Then I sorted the best of the best. We've been married 50 years , same home for 32, theres alot! I removed all the left behind children's unwanted things. What a relief! My craft stuff took a whole week.! Now I'm seriously into downsizing. Its just time for much to go to another home. 😊
Anyone who says you talk too much can just go elsewhere. The emotional talk is why your channel is my favourite. It’s like the minimalism version of when you’re having a bad day and your bestie pops in for a coffee and a catch up! 😅❤
Please never stop talking too much. For those viewers that want the quick list and that’s their process then RUclips, Pinterest and just plain Google are full of that. I literally sit down and watch your videos, pausing every feed minutes taking too class life notes. You are the first person I have found that speaks my language since my hoarder self lost both parents and immigrated abroad. I got myself to a very healthy point regarding my clutter over the last 12 years. Now with your inspiration I’m getting ready to tackle that very painful emotional clutter. Thank you ❤
Thank you!
My first thought was: So find a blog! What are you doing on RUclips? 🤣🤣🤣
I watched multiple de cluttering videos and ran across yours. Thank you for talking about identity. I grew up with an abusive father and a passive-aggressive mother. If my father didn’t like a particular behavior, he would tear up my things in my room reminding me he paid for it and it was his house. As an adult, I do associate “my” things with my identity. Intellectually, I get it. But when you discussed the underlying emotions attached to things, I cried. Then, compound that with parents who literally grew up dirt poor in the Depression, I was taught never to throw anything away. Today, I’m going to tackle a utensil drawer with broken handles. I have five graters. I don’t need five! Again, thank you for emphasizing the emotional side of why our homes become cluttered in the first place. Thank you.
So much good information here, this was a wonderful video. I would not say I’m a full-on minimalist, but I definitely don’t like clutter and like for my home to be easy to manage. On the other hand, I also want it to be cozy and inviting. One thing I would add is to have some grace for yourself and recognize that there are different seasons in your life and that life can be unpredictable. I embarked on a no-buy year in 2018 and it was going wonderfully, without a single slip, until mid-May when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Suddenly I had postsurgical gear, chemo caps, medical items and new clothes to fit my altered body. At that point in my life, decluttering was the least of my worries. But you can always get back to simplifying. Another thing I never would have predicted was the pandemic and working from home. I didn’t have the kind of job where working from home was even an option before, and then suddenly there was telehealth. It took me a few years to finally allow myself to get rid of all my work clothes since I dress much more casually now. We also built a small home in the woods a couple of years ago and I did a big purge prior to moving here so that I wasn’t having to store a bunch of stuff. I’m an avid cook but I was able to pair down so that we did not need to put in upper cabinets in our kitchen, for instance. But it’s a lifelong process. I do decluttering in small projects now, don’t worry if I can’t get everything done at once, and acknowledge that life continuously changes. You live differently with small children than you do with older children, and both of those are very very different from being on your own or just with a spouse. Currently, I’m adapting to having two messy, chewing hound dogs in the home, with their need for bones, dog beds and what not. I fully believe you can have both simplicity and the normal chaos of life, and be grateful for all of it.
Wow “external clutter is just internal clutter on display” really hits home for me. I truly appreciate this acknowledgment and take the shame I feel away just a little bit.
The internal work is maybe the most important! I love your channel! ❤
Thanks so much 🙏
Please don't change the way you express yourself, because of some comments you receive...i just find everything you say and do so useful and meaningful! So thank you and greatings from Argentina!
Marissa, the videos where you said "it took me five years" gave me permission to start on the hard stuff. I first did Marie Kondo in 2014, and it works very well for clothes. There was no way I was ready to give up books or tackle the papers, so I stalled out. Since the beginning of May, two months ago, I have made great progress on papers and other closet-stashed items. My older son (I also have two sons) graduated high school, and my mom and I went through his baby things so I could decide what few items are most precious to me to keep now. Mom complimented me on my willingness to declutter! It's a long haul. I'm buoyed again this weekend by an older friend who posted on socials how exhausting it is that she is packing, cleaning, and decluttering her entire house to move to a condo. If I'm this tired at my current age, imagine getting started in 15-20 years or whenever we are ready to move. There is *so much* to do. This is going to take a long time, but thanks to encouragement like yours, I'm keeping at it.
You’re doing awesome, so much mental and physical progress! 🙌
and the moving from a big space to a smaller space is why in doing it now. my parents had to do that too. theres still a bunch of stuff i suspect packed away not really dealt with. i was going through some stuff decluttering i just found a recipet from 2018 -_- i just try to remind myself im doing this for the long term. not for just the short term. ive had a table next to me cluttered for weeks and ive been struggling with it.
There are tons of repeated “things to declutter” videos that I’m very bored with, so I don’t think you are talking too much, I think you are great in sharing your thoughts (and not too much). Love your videos 💕
I know about the thrift stores! I used to bring a couple bags a week for my first few years or more of my minimalist journey , I’d then go in and buy a few things! I will still go in but usually don’t get anything , or just a book , or if I am lucky some sheet music, and I use the thrift like a rental , I bring the book back when I am done reading it , so worth the few dollars , instead of getting from a book store
I don’t think you talk too much. I appreciate your channel!!
Thank you, hahaha!
its your gift, i need to declutter my spirit first then mind then body and surrounding. thank you for the motivation.
Surroundings first! You'll start to experience more freedom and peace of mind when you're less entangled in your stuff. 😊
To me downsizing is a very slow process as it is hard to make that decision. 2015 we moved into a home a third of the size we had. Our garage only had a walkway in the middle. When retirement came up we started to downsize again as I knew we want an even smaller house. I make myself have a couple of garage sales a year to help this process. It wasn’t til a couple years ago I came across minimalist on RUclips. It has helped encourage me to keep going. Now that I am a widow I realise one day that I will most likely will only be living in a few rooms so downsizing continues. The bright side is that my children will not have all that work to do when I pass on. It’s amazingly that things you keep, that children nowadays do not want.
About #10--I find that decluttering is like peeling an onion, there's always another layer. Removing each layer reveals the next, and having time between helps with seeing and then letting go of more. Great lessons here!
I agree! It gets easier every time too I think. However I think my onion has regrown some layers lately… 😂
That's exactly how I think of it, layers upon layers!
Key Points: 🔑
- Start small - don't try to declutter everything at once 🏃♀️
- You're not defined by your stuff - let go of attachments 💭
- Focus on internal work too - reflect on why clutter built up 🧘♀️
- Put spending on hold - don't bring in new stuff while decluttering 🛑
- Don't wait for perfect time - make time amidst life's busyness ⏱️
- Ask the right questions - use checklists to guide decisions ❓
- Change categories if stuck - switch focus if you hit a rut 🚧
- Set intentions - define how spaces should feel and function 💡
- Keep what sparks joy - not just for aesthetics 🌈
- Declutter repeatedly - make it an ongoing habit 🗓️
- Talk to others - have conversations that inspire change 🗣️
- Start with visible clutter - clears space and boosts morale 🏆
- Schedule decluttering time - dedicate time for it routinely 📅
- Involve family - teach kids decluttering habits 👪
- Be compassionate - appreciate how far you've come 🤗
- Discard first - then organize what remains 🗑️➡️📦
- Celebrate small wins - mark progress to stay motivated ✅
- Stop acquiring clutter - curb shopaholic tendencies 🛒❌
- Give away items - donate to charity or gift loved ones 🎁
- Set limits on categories - prevent clutter from returning 🚫
- Maintain open spaces - visually calming and functional 🏝️
- Display thoughtfully - showcase your style mindfully 🖼️
- Streamline paperwork - reduce files and billing clutter 🗃️
- Review yearly - clear seasonal or unused items 📆
- Let go of perfection - progress over perfect order ✨
- Schedule decluttering time - dedicate time for it routinely 📅
Thanks for this really helpful list - I’m going to print it and use it as my reference for supporting my declutter decision making process to avoid becoming overwhelmed which has happened before when I’ve attempted everything at once along with decorating the whole house - unfortunately an aspect of BPD 🤦♀️🙄🤞🏻
Great list. Thank you.
thank you for this.
Very helpful.
Screenshotting your list for reference.
🎉Merci Beaucoup🎉
Ive been doing the marathon version of decluttering for a few years now and i just now feel like im starting to make true progress. Ive learned to turn my emotions of (mostly) to my belongings and realize the memories are in me not my things
I agree about it taking years to see any progress! Several years ago, I got rid of no less than about 8 black bin liners of clothes to the charity shop. I also remember getting rid of a massive amount of old supermarket plastic bags, some of which were so old, they had started to rot. But despite all this work, and getting rid of seemingly hundreds of items, this didn't seem to make much of an impact. You have to go through several rounds of decluttering before you even start to see some results.
Take a picture of the stuff and give it away.
“Why spending so much money on buying more things when your home is already filled with stuff” is exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you for that! I do plan to declutter my home ‘cause I think I have so much that it is overwhelming me and I will also take your advice that “do a little when there is time is much better than than trying to find time for everything at once”. It will also make me finding time for accepting that I’m not what I own. Thank you again for your wise advice. I take it to my heart and now I’m a subscriber to your channel.
So many great tips here. I particularly liked the comparison to test taking strategy. If you get stuck move on to the easier questions - not only are you saving time but building confidence! Had a friend who would panic on tests when she suddenly didn't remember how to solve something, she would fall apart and be unable to complete the test. Sometimes if you skip a hard question and find something easier when you come back to the harder question you have found your groove! Building confidence in decluttering works the same way. 😊
Yes! I had friends in college, who were the exact same way, and I would always try to coach them on this. 🙌
Oh wow that 'sprint versus marathon' quote re Marie Kondo just stopped me from actually doing anything. I absolutely agree with your comment about doing small things here and there. I decluttered our top drawer and one of the benches in the kitchen. Took me a couple of hours but I've been able to maintain these spaces and now feel like having that success means I want to build on it and find other small, manageable areas to declutter.
Yes on the books 🎉 I got a PhD in English so it was completely my identity and the hardest thing to declutter
Gasp! I was an English major before I switch to speech language pathology. 🥹 I feel you!
Unusual question but I have completed my masters and I'm 31 almost, is it possible to start my education in English major at this age?
@@sandhyatiwari7 Not sure what country you are in, your goals, or what support you have. It's always possible to change your life.
"Decluttering is a form of self-care" and we do it for our future-self. What a wonderful way to embrace a daunting and often scary task. You never know what you might find (out about yourself) in the process. Thank you again.
You don't talk to much - you take the time to explain things well and share why the topic you're discussing matters.
Most helpful "ah-ha moment" for me was realizing I wasn't making progress, despite all my purging of items, because the inflow of items wasn't being addressed.
Thank you for all your helpful videos!
I really appreciate you distilling your life lessons into this list. I have a hard time decluttering ‘identity’ clutter that feels like part of who I am. Your taking the time to discuss doing the internal work so clutter doesn’t rebound is helpful. I find having an empty donation boxes near where I have my books and quilting supplies makes it easier to declutter. When the box is full, I drop it off at our library for the Friends of the Library sales and I take quilting supplies to our quilt guild’s Care Quilt program (they make charity quilts). Makes it easier for me to declutter knowing that my possessions are going to help others.
I love listening to you talk. I don't think you talk to much! I love your videos. They're very inspiring.
“You talk to much” is actually what made me subscribe, and those stories and experiences you share inspired me to start decluttering! 🚪❤️ thank you!
No, thank you ☺️
I could never live in a house empty of pretty things. Beauty is such a part of my life and adds quality to my days. Accessories are important and I think that some people declutter to the point of making their living spaces boring and ugly. Certainly I do not like junk piling up and keep all my spaces well organized including closets, cabinets, drawers, garage and storage room. I am continually letting go of things I haven't used in years or that don't appeal to me anymore. I'm just saying that sometimes this movement goes too far.
Too sparse and soulless.
I agree with you. While I do like clear counters, I also like my walls to have something on them (her walls are bare) and I do like accessories for clothing, etc. To go mega stark is not necessarily a good idea. Isn't stark the environment of jail or mental hospital? Just wonderin?
@@deborahsimpson2732 Yes,there’s a reason why your Realtor will advise you to remove all of your photos and personal items from your home when staging to sell. Because then it will look like no one lives there,more of the idea of a model home.😖
@@deborahsimpson2732what if the picture falls or something
This is where really understanding Marie Kondo's philosophy makes such a difference. Kondo never said to get rid of all your stuff. She said to let go of that which doesn't spark joy. If it sparks joy, or if it's useful and necessary, you keep it - including if that makes your house more full than someone else's!
I too could never be comfortable in a house this empty, that's a stylistic personal choice though - if anyone tells you your house has to look like that definitely don't listen to them!
I decluttered around 465 items this year. I was on my decluttering journey since 2018 but bounced back again in shopping unnecessary clothings and stuffs. I was exhausted and not on my best behavior. I then sat and did thorough examination how the materials are overshadowing my personality, my mood and my overall health. Then, i made up my mind that there's no going back this time and decluttered around 465 items since January 2023. Its been almost a year i haven't purchased a single piece of clothing or anything as such. I am an avid reader so i couldn't declutter the books. However i decluttered the books that were not my thing. Its been a year i have not purchased a single book. I wanted to read everything that's already with me before buying the new ones. I'm downsizing everyday and I set out timer for 15 -20 minutes a week to go through my belongings over and over again if I need to get rid of sth. I had over two dozens of hand carrys, slings, backpacks but i got rid of them all and now i only have three of them in various style. I have stopped buying too much clothes for my son as well as kids outgrow their clothes so fast. Decluttering journey has been the best decision and so far the main ingredient for my prosperous mental health.
I can’t even begin to tell you how helpful your videos have been, and continue to be - I regularly revisit them, to keep me on track. Thank you SO much Marissa 😊
Totally agree that you need to carry out a lot of internal work before you can let go of external clutter. I am now gaining momentum thanks to your help 👊 This doesn’t happen over night - You need to keep in mind what your end goal is.
Fist 👊 bump to you
You still sound reluctant
I love your videos because of your unique approach. My clutter is a reflection of what's within. So, thank you again for the "therapy"🙂
❤️🙏
I just started minimalism. I follow you silently, love the content . I am in process of 6month spend freez , hope I can be successful in my promise.
I agree with you with #3. I don’t watch the videos « 20 things to declutter now » as they are always the same: throw away expired food, medicine, broken toys etc. That is not my problem with clutter. My problem is how to let go of the attachment I have for my things. I am good at not bringing stuff in anymore. Next step is I want to do the in and out chart, just so I have a visual ☺️ starting this month, so half the year!
I don’t have anything to declutter anymore. I now have just the right amount of things. I need to declutter my mental health
That’s a very important category 👏
I feel like I've been doing a pretty good job of decluttering. The past 4 or so years I have lived an extremely busy and chaotic life which made me feel stressed out. I have put a ton of time into thinking about how I want to live a less stressful life, and what that would look like. It gave me time to make notes of areas of my house I want to declutter when I found time to do so. When I found the time to declutter, I would focus on 1-2 areas that would take me 30 minutes or less so I wouldn't get overwhelmed, and I don't put time constraints on myself as to when something needs to get done. I also just recently got back from a trip to Scandinavia where I got to visit Norway, Denmark, and Sweden. In Norway I did a home visit as an excursion and it gave me a ideas on how I can decorate my house in a simple way that is clutter free, as well as give me an idea of what people over there consider essentials in their homes. It made me think about if certain things I have in my home are really needed, or if certain things I have on my wish list of items I want to purchase are really needed.
I thought the conversation you had about internal conflict was very helpful for people to hear. You are right to talk about that, because as a therapist it is about the internal process of thinking so you can change how and why you keep things or can't let things go. You are doing a good job communicating and helping others. So, I just wanted to encourage you and thanking you. It helps me to hear it all.
To the people criticizing you for "talking" too much... there's plenty of black & white lists to print... I really appreciate you helping me focus on the why not just the what in this journey. So just wanted to pause at 4:48 and tell you thank you!
So encouraging to hear from someone who has been on the journey for years. We just passed our one year self-imposed deadline for downsizing. We did get rid of a lot of stuff over the year, and i came to the realization is an ongoing process. My next steo is letting go of "fantasy me" items - craft projects that I never finished or even started, magazines I saved to read one article "one day", etc. A little mourning goes with this, and a lot of freedom.
I had many things I didn’t use! I donated it for a good cause. Much space now in my 3 closets
Love the deep dive on this. And to the ones complaining that there’s too much talk. You’re impatience and lack of care and thought is the problem. Do the work in identifying your values and bring them into your decisions. You’ll be calmer more grounded and organized. No one can give you a list for this - you can only do this for yourself. Enjoy the journey!
Thank you so much. I really needed to hear this. I have been so overwhelmed trying to declutter, that things got worse. I kept focusing on the big picture instead of one step at a time. We are made to believe we need things to survive, when in reality, those very things are what make us miserable. A lot of people get into debt because they think they need to buy things they really don't need. It's a scary cycle we need to break free from.
I only keep my very favourite books now. All well worn covers but I know I’ll read them again ❤.
Essentialism ❤ We attach so much story and emotion to material items. When we finally let go, it is soo freeing! Great video!
I remember my first-day decluttering. I stumble on a decluttering video. (min-mom) I went to my junk drawer. I was hooked after that. I did all my kitchen cabinets that day. The feeling I got was strength! I said to myself... I am sick of all this stuff. I look at stuff weekly, and I am continually tossing stuff out. Layer by layer for the past 3 yrs has been incredible. Throw in a bit of Swedish death cleaning too! The work made my life more straightforward now. Easy-peasy.
What is Swedish death cleaning?
You Rule Girl! I love that you are helping people connect their internal clutter with their external clutter, thank you so much for helping me work through some of my hangups 🤗
Great advice, again. Thank you. The point about our clutter being a outside manifestation of our internal chaos/issues/struggles really hit home for me. Also, trying to make our homes look a certain way may not turn out the way we hoped. I found, in my experience, that when my home looked like the magazines (back in the day, showing my age) it felt like I was living in a museum or someone else's home. It felt off... Like you said, when you focus on what you enjoy/like, and what makes you happy, your home will feel so much better, comfortable & like, well, home, to you. 😊
Thank you again for another inspiring chat. 😊 And happy 7th Clutter-free Anniversary 🎉👏🏻
Your videos have been super helpful. I found you when looking for family minimalism. we are heading into year 6. And Yes, Clutter is a trauma symptom
❤️🩹
At first, very hard to declutter, but in the long run, you will enjoy more time and space when you accept and learned being a minimalist. Thank you so much Mam for sharing your minimalist life with your family👍♥️☺️.
There are plenty of lists on the internet of what to declutter. Don't come here looking for an oversimplification of something so important. I love how Marissa makes me feel like part of her personal journey because of how she tells her story. I watched nearly 100 videos about similar things and none appealed to me, even though I desperately needed to change my situation, as well. None convinced me until I found this channel.
Marissa, I can't thank you enough for starting this channel. I'm so glad you haven't changed your style to please those rude commentors. Your experience is important and influential to so many people like me. And the emotion, reverence, and thoughtfulness with which you present it are perfect. Anything else would not do justice to your amazing experience.
I'm going through some difficult times right now. So, to see those comments directed at something that has helped me so much made me angry.
The 15-30 min and don’t wait for the « right » time is helpful for neurodivergent minds. My biggest area for help is papers and letting go of clothing I no longer wear. BTW - Mari Kondo has relaxed since having children. I also don’t want to shame myself during this process - which I feel the minimalist community has a knack of practicing- this can be the worst nightmare for perfectionists. I don’t consider myself part of the minimalist community though - a mix between minimalist and maximalism. It also helps when all family members are on board. I haven’t bought books (unless for classes) in years, however I have books that are out of print and yes, they’re part of my identity. I definitely want to continue to work on my clothes. I enjoy the ritual of switching clothes and shoes for the season - it helps with the transition and feels like a way to say good bye to the old season and welcome the new season. Looking forward to creating more systems that will help me get organized.
I found you fairly recently and I love all the "inside" stuff that you share. The inside is what got you here in the first place cause for some reason we have clutter when others do not - so it isn't the stuff but the person.
It really is incredible how long it takes to declutter! I have been working on this for over 10 years...
I didn’t like very much M. Kondo principles, but one thing that really helped me from her book, was the moment I gathered all the clothes and I realised how big the pile was and that there was a problem 😅
Thanks for the great tips!
And I also think it’s not just about decluttering or buying less per se. It’s about buying fewer but better quality and fairly traded products. ❤
For me it started with Marie Kondo aswell.
I'm very grateful for her.
The test-taking analogy is a great way to put into perspective how hyper- focusing on one single problem can keep you from overall success. This applies to all areas of life since life itself is a sort of test with a time limit.
I moved away from the U.S. 8 years ago and one of my childhood best friends just came to visit. She just left and I have been crying all day, your video came up on the RUclips feed (I have watched many of your other videos!) And it just felt so comforting to watch. I was wondering why? Lol but then I remembered that you speak a lot about grief, you also don't have family around and there is just so much more to your videos than decluttering. So to those who want a list, they are missing something so beautiful and deep. Thank you!! ❤️
I really love and appreciate how you share the importance of inner work while decluttering. And I absolutely feel that it's a holistic process, a shift of mind, a release of emotional (and physical) attachements and reorganising your life by aligning with your true values and a deeper sense of self and meaning. Thank you for all the valuable content and inspiration. Keep being (and expanding) your brilliant self!
💗I love your talking & insight. It is your gift, please don’t stop.
I am a minimalist in all things but books. I have a large library and love it.
I love this video and especially how you navigate people essentially wanting an alternative option of a set of rules instead of doing the work. As a therapist I agree with lots of points that you have made in this and other videos and think you are so coherent and resilient to keep putting out a positive, no judgemental space for people wanting to simplify. I wish I had a video like this when I first started my minimalism journey in 2014! Keep up all your great work! ❤
I'm also a young mom of 2 children and I can confirm that there's no such thing as the right time but the benefits of decluttering are so liberating that it's worth the hassle. If I have a few tips to share:
. Fix the root of your problem(s), not the symptoms. If you fear to let certain things go, ask yourself why it is so hard. It's only an object after all. Therapy might help for this
. Less is more. Less inventory to manage equals more time to do other things that fulfill us instead of dragging us down
. Quality over quantity and that's easier to achieve when we stop spending money on items that do not bring real value to our life
“External clutter is your internal clutter on display.”
I love the idea of " taking care of the future me", I've never thought of that. Thank you for that! ❤
I love your reasoning and explanations behind decluttering. There’s so many emotions involved in why we keep stuff. Thanks, Marissa
Hi Marissa 👋I have been binge watching your videos over the past month. I just let them auto play while I am cleaning or at work and each video has been awesome! I can relate to pretty much everything you say. I am 37 with a toddler and my partner has 4 other children so you can imagine how many things we have! Because of all the messes and clutter I feel so hopeless and out of control. I have realized that your home should be your peace and a nice sanctuary away from the world rather than add to the chaos of it. I have also been getting turned off by so much consumerism and so minimalism is something I had heard of but didn't really know much about until I found you! And thank goodness I did find you!!! Although I am still in the pre-de-clutter phase and just watching your videos with very little action yet, (although I have had a yard sale and gotten a few items out), I am working my way up to it - with you by my side! So thank you so much. You have no idea how much it means to me to not feel hopeless and to know there is a way out and I can have a better life. As a new first time mom, I just don't want my son to have to grow up in messes and clutter. I cannot control the inventory and we simply just don't need so much stuff! I don't want to spend all my time cleaning when I would rather have quality time with my son. You are such an inspiration! We can't control the world around us or what society tells us to do or what to buy but we can control our world and our controllables and that is just what I am working on. It's still scary because of the emotional attachments to some things (most things) so I know it won't be easy but I have just let life happen and I am ready to take charge. I really hope I can get my partner and his kids on board so I will be using your videos as back up support and watching/re-watching them! Thanks again! You are amazing! I look forward to being happy and free like you! 💛
You may also resonate with Dana K. White's no-mess decluttering system as her method of decluttering can be done in those tiny bits of time squeezed in between all other necessary child-bearing/family building activities and you Never Ever make a mess ever - whenever you stop, you have only ever made progress! Her method works really well for those with a lot of small children or those who have ADHD or medical issues who can only work on decluttering in small bursts. I encourage you to look her up - she's on RUclips & has a Podcast as well & has written several books such as "Decluttering at the speed of life" & "How to manage your home without losing your mind"... This may be a good way for you to get started on your decluttering journey without becoming overwhelmed 🤗💗
I love it when you talk and help me think differently about my stuff.
It’s so true that we need to work on our internal selves.
I watched this video TWICE. It really spoke to me and validated some of the methods I was already incorporating.
It also inspired me to finally purge checkbooks from when my adult daughters were in Elementary School!
I now keep digital pictures/files of items I’d still like to reference, but not physically keep. The new challenge is to organize them once a week for easy reference.
I am also journaling to capture how I was feeling vs how I am now feeling about the items I allowed into my life and why?!
I want to be more mindful and live more in the present having shared experiences with those I really care about.
Really great video! I’ve used your tips to help downsize my belongings, since I live in under 800 square feet now and love it! 💗
Awesome progress, it really makes a difference in small spaces 👏
Yes! I have come to the understanding that I'm attached to things.
Hullo I'm not done with the video but just got to that part about people saying you talk too much...
1. I disagree 150%. All of the things you said hit the nail on the head. Its all so important. Everything you say/share is valuable and I'm grateful.
2. There are plenty of videos/articles that would fit into what these people need. I wish it was easier for folks to remember/realize.
Thank you for being here and for sharing everything you've learned!
Just went to an estate sale. Made me realize again just how much stuff we all have.
I’m just starting my decluttering journey and I have to admit that I felt pressure to get it all done right away, but your encouragements helped relieve the pressure I was putting on myself.
I love all of your thoughts and ideas on this… Moving on to a different category or space when you feel decision fatigue, spending freezes (because we also love to shop after we’ve just dropped off donations), spending 15 minutes each day (because I also get stuck in wanting to do it all right away in the most perfect setting with all the time in the world) and I especially loved the advice on getting to the root of why you have all this stuff, or why it’s not organized or how you got to where you are right now… We’ve lost three important people in the first six months of this year and I recognize our clutter as a symptom of our internal chaos. We are all wanting to break free.
America's #1 Cleaning Expert, Don Aslett said in one of his books that the average home contains an average of 182,000 items. I believe that and have dejunked a LOT.
This was the ABSOLUTE BEST mindfulness decluttering vid !!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
You are soooo right - the internal work is very important!
I feel like the Marie Kondo method of taking everything of a single category out at once and decluttering works well if you are already pared down and somewhat minimal (as I am). Great video!
I love how Marissa didn't blur out that negative commenter's name & photo who just "wants cool suggestions". Not letting her hide behind anonymity and calling her sh*t out, LOL! 🙌🔥🙌
Definitely think with #7, that people sometimes THINK that they can get serious about trying to keep up with a hobby they loved, but really there is no drive for it. If they haven't done it for several years but hope to again, but put in no effort, then it is an issue. It is just that I have helped people declutter and have heard so many say, "I haven't been able to do this in a couple years." Then I suggest ways for them to make time for it and that if they don't feel that passion anymore, to not keep the materials for it, etc. However, so many of them will keep those things for a hopeful time but never push themselves to do it, so I honestly suggest people get rid of the item if they aren't even trying to make time for it and keep it hidden away. I know for myself, I once bought something that I thought I'd use a lot because I once used a similar thing to it for years when I was young. I only used the item a couple times, so I realized, the passion I once had for it is not there anymore. I have learned to do that for other things in my life. . .I won't buy things unless I know I will work at it. I have quite a few hobbies and I make time for them. If I have no drive left, I seriously move on and don't continue in it, but it is rare these days because I have programmed myself. There is a lack of discipline and goal orientation in many who attempt to declutter (which is why your #8 is so great about setting up intentions).
That is beautiful that you guys reread books. I think I have reread up to 10 books ever in my life, and so I don't keep books. I have started to read only kindle books because of it or I go to the library instead. I used to be heavily into this book swapping website that isn't doing so well these days, but I did it for about 14 years! I would have a wishlist I'd make, and when someone listed one of their used books on the site, and if I was near the top of the wait list for it, I would receive it. Then I can list it when I am done. I got rid of most of my books that way, and sold others. I loved it. I swapped over 1k books on that site (I read about 100 books a year as it is, sometimes more). I can't imagine if I were to have kept all those books!
Always love your lists and your vids.
The idea of a buy nothing period is very welcoming. I was out shopping yesterday and intended to buy some new clothes. I guess it was good luck that nothing I tried on suited me. I don't need any more clothes. I have more than enough items to get me though the whole work week without needing to wear anything twice. I was shopping for entertainment and to distract myself from some unpleasant things I didn't want to think about. Even though I don't buy expensive clothes or home goods, it still all adds up: too much money spent and too much stuff accumulated. The truth is that I have more than enough of everything I need. So, instead of buying something, I made a donation to the local Humane Society. I think that was a much better use of my money than buying stuff I don't need.
Awesome tips - I love watching your videos!! 😊 I love what you said about “perfection is the enemy of progress” and the example of getting caught up about the dirty dishes in the sink. It might sound strange, but I like decluttering when a room is messy - because I know the dishes still in the cabinets (and not in the sink) or the clothes still in the drawers (and not in the dirty clothes hamper) are the ones not being used. It makes it easier for me to focus on the less frequently used items. Thanks again!! 😊
Im so glad i found your channel....yes i feel like im drowning 😢 its overwhelming as i have chronic pain and illnesses. But a little bit at a time x
I like that you talk about yourself and use your own experiences as examples.
Love your posts and love the community! Growing up in the Army, we decluttered with every move. Never knew we were trend setters! 😂 But when Dad retired, after 25 years, that's when the consumption began. 😱
I'm 68 now, and after 1 divorce, 2 deaths (and an involuntary "declutter" after each husband), I'm embarking on my life's final declutter.
This time, it's for me and what i want and to save my time and sanity because it's a whole new chapter of my life now.
I'm adding Swedish Death Cleaning to your coaching, encouragement, and wonderful tips as well as tips and encouragement from the community. Thanks, everyone! The world is so much different after Covid, and it's fabulous to add another community to my life.❤🙏😊
Great tips! I've actually did the "sprint" method of decluttering and I shot myself in the foot because I gave away my baking sheets and ended up spending MORE money because I later needed them, not very smart. One of my BEST inspirations for decluttering is the show "Hoarders", no joke. After I watch Hoarders I go on a cleaning and decluttering rampage.
I love the remark, "decluttering once is never enough. I'm on my 8th decluttering pass. The process has halted many times, restarted, and gone at different speeds.
Thank you for this excellent video!!🤗