I Decluttered 30 Years of Stuff...Here's What Happened.

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  • Опубликовано: 8 май 2024
  • Minimalism saved my life. I decluttered 30 years of stuff and went from emotional hoarder to minimalist and today I'm sharing a little bit more about how minimalism changed my life and what happened after I got rid of everything I own. If you feel overwhelmed and stressed out by clutter and mess, maybe you could benefit from decluttering your home and simplifying your life as well?
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    __________
    ► ⏰ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS:
    00:00 - Minimalism saved my life
    00:39 - Where it all started (my story)
    02:52 - Clutter as a trauma response
    03:54 - Are popular kids books/movies brainwashing us into NOT letting go? (Please comment!!)
    05:45 - Feeling overwhelmed as a mom
    07:49 - My big decluttering "aha moment"
    09:24 - Decluttering 30 years of stuff
    11:51 - From decluttering to minimalism
    13:45 - The joy of simple living
    16:50 - How to get more decluttering support :)
    __________
    ► FAVORITE DECLUTTER + ORGANIZE STUFF:
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    📝 Paper shredder: amzn.to/32uuNeR
    ► 📸 FAVORITE RUclips TOOLS:
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    » Music: www.epidemicsound.com/referra...
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    __________
    ABOUT A TO ZEN LIFE
    Along my journey to let go of 30 years of clutter, I accidentally became a minimalist and it was life-changing.
    Before, I was an emotional hoarder with nothing but the clutter from lost loved ones - and $25,000 of debt - to my name. Now I have a beautiful home in Europe, a happy family, live debt-free, and - best of all - wake up to a life that I’m EXCITED to live every day.
    My mission is to help you conquer your clutter and simplify YOUR way to a happier and better life. HERE'S OUR STORY: atozenlife.com/about-a-to-zen...
    __________
    NOTE: This description may contain affiliate links; these links allow you to find the items mentioned in this video at no additional cost to yourself. While this channel may earn a small amount when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in NO WAY obligated to use these links.
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Комментарии • 612

  • @AtoZenLife
    @AtoZenLife  4 месяца назад +54

    Please give this video a like 👍 and find out more about Clutter GPS here: atozenlife.com/clutter-gps

    • @tehilash7292
      @tehilash7292 4 месяца назад +2

      The church of minimalism😉

    • @smallhouseinthemeadow6131
      @smallhouseinthemeadow6131 4 месяца назад +5

      Happy Birthday! This is an awesome video. After following you for years, and being a minimalist for over 15 years,I have let the clutter creep back in slowly but surely, but after a second heart attack, myocarditis, pericardial effusion, covid, covid pneumonia and bacterial pneumonia this past two weeks, and my first heart attack in July from long covid from three years ago that causes paroxysmal hypertension and hyponeutremia, I am exhausted and I want to throw out literally everything I own. Part of it is that if I die from having another heart attack, I don't want my family to have to deal with my stuff, but the main reason for now while I am here, it is because I need to go through my day with ease and a peaceful surrounding in order to heal and feel less stressed. I am looking forward to beginning again,as soon as I have the strength to begin.

    • @cherylhartl3749
      @cherylhartl3749 4 месяца назад +6

      This is the one of the best videos I’ve seen about why clutter happens, how to approach it and the benefits that you can experience after you declutter your home. You have a way of speaking about the subject without being “preachy”, I guess that’s the best way I can explain it. You are so genuine and realistic in the way you present yourself, it’s like listening to my best friend telling me now decluttering worked for her. You’ve made decluttering sound achievable and easy to do, not so complicated that I keep putting it off. I also, love the term “Realistic Minimalism”, I want to be minimalistic, but I also enjoy having clothes and kitchen things……

    • @charisli3542
      @charisli3542 4 месяца назад +1

      I’m a consumer researcher. We did a research of declutterers and heard everyone saying it had changed their lives. It’s now being published. I wish I had interviewed you too!

    • @nicoleh3703
      @nicoleh3703 Месяц назад

      I usually buy something to commemorate a special day for me every year, but since I've started decluttering like crazy, I decided to just treat myself to an ice cream today. I realize I just don't need more stuff in my house! Plus, it's catching on in my household!

  • @cleopatrablackwell3414
    @cleopatrablackwell3414 4 месяца назад +709

    Coming from a background of being adopted twice during childhood and being surrounded by toxic families. I realized at 27 half of my belongings were gifts from people who had hurt or abandoned me . When i declutter all these things that carried so much pain i felt freedom . Those people couldnt hurt me anymore because i had permanently severed the physical ties.

    • @terrilloyd3691
      @terrilloyd3691 4 месяца назад +31

      I understand the need to get rid of things from toxic people. Good for you. Keep the things that give you good energy! You will feel better. I’ve done the same in my house. Feels great! Also, less to deal with and my house is so easy to clean. ❤

    • @autorinmitkatze
      @autorinmitkatze 4 месяца назад +17

      It feels so good to let go of things from toxic people. When I broke up with my first boyfriend and ended a toxic relationship, I gave away all the things he had given me, from plush doggie to jewelry, and it felt so relieving.

    • @SusanMurphy-xn5hl
      @SusanMurphy-xn5hl 4 месяца назад +5

    • @innocentshorti
      @innocentshorti 4 месяца назад +3

      incredible read - thanks for sharing your story!

    • @giuliannaborges9
      @giuliannaborges9 4 месяца назад +2

      ❤❤❤

  • @jenniemurphy1242
    @jenniemurphy1242 4 месяца назад +156

    I’m 74 years old and have a husband with dementia. I’ve been interested in the simplifying lifestyle for may years. And it’s been especially helpful now more than ever to keep a calm and stress less environment. You videos Marisa help keep me motivated to clear the clutter(mentally, physically and emotionally) and focus on the simple pleasures of life.

    • @AtoZenLife
      @AtoZenLife  4 месяца назад +7

      Thank you and happy to be helpful, Jennie ❤️

    • @lawrup
      @lawrup 4 месяца назад

      Thank got cluttering didnt kill you

    • @lawrup
      @lawrup 4 месяца назад

      ​@@AtoZenLifehey im 21 and going to waste 7 years and got no girlfriend and my body away till it rots i dont care if im look frail the only thing that Matter is the fate of humanity

    • @JoshC-End-Abortion-Fear-God
      @JoshC-End-Abortion-Fear-God 3 месяца назад

      Praying for your situation

  • @SusanMcBrayer
    @SusanMcBrayer 4 месяца назад +58

    Glad to hear other people cry when going through the sentimental items from our parents and other ancestors. It's hard, but I keep reminding myself, "This item is not the person." I have my memories without the actual item to remind me of them.

    • @MyFocusVaries
      @MyFocusVaries 4 месяца назад +7

      And the item is not their love for you or your love for them. ❤️

    • @clairedaines508
      @clairedaines508 4 месяца назад +9

      You can also take pictures of the item. Matt Haig of Hoarders recommends this, along with writing down the item's history, makes a wonderful heirloom to pass on to your descendants.

  • @dstarkus3693
    @dstarkus3693 4 месяца назад +193

    What I appreciate most about this video is how transparent and real you are about being sentimental over things that have come to you from other people and the related trauma responses. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and how you moved through it. I can really relate to this part of your work.
    I'm also realizing how much of the clutter in our home is aspirational -- for the project I want to do, kids activities (both things they already like or I want them to explore) and keeping things for the larger house we're saving for.

    • @AtoZenLife
      @AtoZenLife  4 месяца назад +19

      So much clutter is aspirational and collected with the best of intentions. Wishing you the best on your journey 🙏

    • @patriciaheraty7380
      @patriciaheraty7380 4 месяца назад +3

      Aspirational clutter is the stuff that sweet dreams and nightmares are made of:
      hence, you can decide
      whether the aspiration-object is something your future self will use (an inspiration to move forward) or
      whether the aspiration-object is a remnant of past expections (imposed by other's values & expectations, society, social media & advertising, etc.).
      Decluttering the physical is the visible (end-of-the-process) part.
      REAL decluttering has to happen in the heart & mind as well as in the physical world.
      (Sometimes one happens before the other, sometimes both happen at the same time.)
      The more filled your heart and mind are, the greater the load you carry.
      It's OK to unburden yourself!
      In fact, you owe it to yourself to unburden yourself.
      It's the only way to feel the strength you have actually been using to carry the load.
      Reclaim your strength!
      Make the strength available to yourself and deserving people, activities, etc.
      Feel the freedom and lightness you deserve.

    • @JoshC-End-Abortion-Fear-God
      @JoshC-End-Abortion-Fear-God 3 месяца назад

      Cool video

  • @alissabird3506
    @alissabird3506 4 месяца назад +30

    Girl, you are a survivor !

    • @AtoZenLife
      @AtoZenLife  4 месяца назад +5

      Thank you! That’s why I’m so passionate about this 🙏

  • @cocomuhly
    @cocomuhly 4 месяца назад +89

    “People can just decide to sell their stuff?” Isn’t it amazing and horrible how the way we were raised stays in us so strongly that we sometimes can’t see outside of it? We try to break the cycle but so many things can run deep.

    • @greatful1512
      @greatful1512 4 месяца назад +3

      ❤️

    • @freespirit3891
      @freespirit3891 4 месяца назад +12

      Very deep. Especially at my age of 75. My parents and grandparents were during the great depression. My dad the youngest born in 1928. Nothing was thrown out. If it couldn't be fixed, it would be saved for possibly fixing something else. Clothes for fixing others or quilts. Dad was a carpenter so I got to 'straighten nails'. Our NOT TO get rid of things is very ingrained. May all those who need help along the way be able to find your site and be inspired along the way. ❤

    • @aliceb1348
      @aliceb1348 4 месяца назад

      @@freespirit3891 I hear you!!! My dad, born 1905, used to have me remove nails from boards to save for future use-95% of which were never used. He would have me patch his pants and darn socks, even when he could afford new clothes. I didn’t mind though, and at 68 try not to waste anything. Still, I only want to save sentimental things.

  • @jeaninekelly4271
    @jeaninekelly4271 4 месяца назад +6

    I am decluttering 40 years worth of stuff. The sentimental stuff is hardest. I had a huge bonfire and burned all the stuffed animals, books, most memorabilia, and a lot of junk. I still have all the photos to go through. I turned a corner and finally don’t want to be the Keeper of the Crap anymore! Happy New Clean Year! My kids and husband are relieved. 🎉❤

  • @CindDJo
    @CindDJo 4 месяца назад +17

    You are right on girl. I can't think of a children's show that didn't have some sort of traumatizing lose.

  • @KarMa-ws3ll
    @KarMa-ws3ll 4 месяца назад +29

    I think, Decluttering is like trying to get fit - so hard in the beginning, but getting easier every time, then becoming easy and in the end, its your new normal, especially, when your view on stuff changes and you dont let any surplus enter your home. It truly becomes easy if you just keep on doing it!

  • @Miss_Annlaug
    @Miss_Annlaug 4 месяца назад +9

    Trauma often leads to hoarding. It's very hard. I have a family member who had very heavy loss and unsafety trauma, and they became a full hoarder ❤❤❤❤❤ i hope you all can find healing! All of you❤

  • @peghendel1088
    @peghendel1088 4 месяца назад +102

    What a great ending of 2023, looking forward to 2024. I'm well on the path to decluttering but find is like an onion, always another layer to process! My adult children are pleased that we are dealing with stuff from 53 years of marriage so they don't have to! My friends are shocked at what I have let go of (things from grandparents) but I did it with love, and still have the memories. These are things that only mean something to me, not useful or necessarily pretty. thank you!

    • @AtoZenLife
      @AtoZenLife  4 месяца назад +2

      Love this so much, thank you for sharing! 🙌

  • @christyp4264
    @christyp4264 4 месяца назад +26

    I think what also motivated me is when you see the homes of billionaires they are very minimal and these are people that can buy what they want. Minimalism is truly a luxury

  • @mindyindy4628
    @mindyindy4628 Месяц назад +2

    Totally agree about the Brave Little Toaster car junkyard scene.... One of the scariest and most disturbing things I saw as a kid, but for some reason I kept watching it.

  • @marycochrane9921
    @marycochrane9921 4 месяца назад +34

    Hands down, this is by far one of THE BEST videos on decluttering, and I watch them all! You get to the heart of why we hang onto too much stuff! You are inspiring. Thank you for sharing your past and how you are overcoming.❤

  • @lindabourcet1349
    @lindabourcet1349 4 месяца назад +53

    Happy birthday! Decluttering has changed my life as well. I am finally tackling my sentimental items and hobby supplies. I am glad I did all the rest of my house first as it is easier than I imagined. It turns out most of my sentimental stuff wasn’t that sentimental after all. I thought of what would happen to it after I died and what I wanted to leave behind. As for my hobby (quilting), it was surprisingly easy to let things go once I found out HOW. I couldn’t give things away to strangers but I could give them to fellow quilters. I made up prizes and put together raffle items for our guild Christmas party and for 2 quilt retreats and for the group I make charity quilts with. Seeing the joy on their faces as they won my stuff gave me joy. If it is hard to let go of precious or useful things,find a way to make gifts. I used baskets and bags and made the stuff look attractive. The joy of decluttering was combined with the joy of playing Santa. Definitely a win-win.

    • @AtoZenLife
      @AtoZenLife  4 месяца назад +4

      What a fantastic journey, I loved how you figured out solutions that fit well with you and your priorities! Selling and giving in Buy Nothing groups was extremely healing and helpful for me as well. Cheers to you!

    • @patchulli89
      @patchulli89 4 месяца назад +1

      That sounds great! I have a lot of hobby supplies too and got completely stuck in the decluttering process, because that part is so difficult, so I decided to do other areas first...

    • @patchulli89
      @patchulli89 4 месяца назад +3

      Our local Kindergarden luckily takes a lot of these things and the kids create stunning stuff with wool, fabric and other material. What is important there is not the created product, but the process. Having a lot of different material is great for the kids and the teachers...
      Just dropping this off for other people with too much hobby-supplies😅

  • @MissDaisy559
    @MissDaisy559 4 месяца назад +66

    I lost my mother to cancer at 14, (1974)and my father to cancer at 26, (1986). I was one of seven but the oldest daughter. I had a sister one year younger and five brothers. I am blessed to have all the siblings going through this with me. Were you an only child? If so, it’s amazing knowing what you went through all this and now, thanks to RUclips, you can tell your story. You are such an inspiration to many. Thank you!

    • @AtoZenLife
      @AtoZenLife  4 месяца назад +38

      I have a younger sister! I’ve mentioned her here and there - she was a mortician and then a hospice nurse. I think it’s amazing we both help people who struggled like us in different ways. ❤️🙏

    • @Jane_Moss
      @Jane_Moss 4 месяца назад +5

      @@AtoZenLifelove your videos so much. They have been adding a layer of support and direction for me at a hard time. I’m responding here because I always thought about going to mortuary school and I thought it’s super interesting the you mentioned this about your sister!

    • @muircaileag3
      @muircaileag3 4 месяца назад +11

      @@AtoZenLifethat’s a deep insight, and is what makes your channel so emotionally accessible. It can’t be easy but the work you do is more important than you can imagine. Losing a mother can be insurmountable for a young girl, but you’ve come out the other side and that is such an inspiration for others. I kept my mother’s get well cards for 40 years before I could look at them again and say goodbye. She died of ALS when I was 32 and had 3 very young children. My divorce soon followed because I realized she had been my biggest supporter, not my ex. It was a traumatic time and the rug was pulled out from under me as I grieved. What you bring to this work is the wisdom that comes from surviving loss. The irony is that your need for connection pushed you to create something that offers comfort and meaningful connection for others. I have been following your channel for several months but for some reason this post sums it all up: reset. Thanks once more!❤

  • @jcheema313
    @jcheema313 4 месяца назад +5

    Yes. Decluttering. Some days, disabilities paralysis kicks in, i can't. However, i keep trying and pushing... 😮😊

  • @user-gu1dd6dh8u
    @user-gu1dd6dh8u 4 месяца назад +11

    Oh, this is the sadest, most heartbreaking video I have ever seen... I grew up in horder home, went through many difficult and tragic loses, I know how it feels. I became minimalist even before I knew that word existed. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • @staceg2003
    @staceg2003 4 месяца назад +17

    One big problem I have with decluttering is anger. I feel like decisions are left to me - we acquire stuff, and I have to manage it. If I get rid of something that we haven't used in 5 years, suddenly it's in demand, and it's my fault for getting rid of it. But I'm being a pain in the neck if I ask people to make decisions on their stuff. It's not a good feeling. I feel defeated before I start. My daughter left a bedroom full of stuff when she moved out, and she moved two states away, so I guess it's up to me to sort her old clothes and books and everything else? Maybe anger is the wrong word. Frustration.
    That being said, I have been slowly chipping away at the stuff that is personally mine, and I have absolute zero guilt now about getting rid of my unused stuff.

    • @Smithpolly
      @Smithpolly 4 месяца назад +7

      I think "anger" is probably the right word.

    • @edennis8578
      @edennis8578 4 месяца назад

      No, I get it. You're angry because you're being used and treated like an unpaid servant. My first marriage was like that. I left before I strangled him. One woman he dated after the divorce actually complained to me about what a slob he is! No kidding, lady!

    • @beckiejani7782
      @beckiejani7782 4 месяца назад +5

      My tough-@$$ mother would say, you have two months (or whatever time) to get this stuff out of MY house or it's our the door!

    • @JS-ns8dr
      @JS-ns8dr 3 месяца назад +2

      I feel the same way

    • @TheBeautifulUniverse
      @TheBeautifulUniverse 3 месяца назад +2

      Your daughter’s stuff goes straight into the bin/donate. She didn’t need it when she moved out, she won’t need it now. Boom. Done. Wash your hands of this anger. It’s not yours to carry.

  • @nancyrawson132
    @nancyrawson132 4 месяца назад +21

    I have to add the story of "The Little Match Girl" and "A Dog of Flanders" to your list of stories and movies that deeply affected me - and scared me - as a child growing up in a toxic family. I was always an outsider in my own family - and I held on to things because I could not process my grief of never feeling as though I was wanted. I put my emotional energy into things because, as a child and later as an adult, I mistakenly believed that "things" couldn't hurt me!

  • @j.m.7056
    @j.m.7056 4 месяца назад +73

    Melissa, this is a powerful video! Your personal story told with love is lifesaving for not only you but for anyone who views it! Thank you so much. ❤❤❤

  • @doyourememberanna
    @doyourememberanna 4 месяца назад +6

    I totally relate to the movies traumatizing me 😭 I still struggle with humanizing objects.

  • @fluffytalguw5883
    @fluffytalguw5883 4 месяца назад +12

    My parents grew up with nothing and so they stuffed our lives with so many things. I’m trying to escape the stuff and then I married a man who also grew up poor so he keeps countless old, useless things. Our place is small and I’m really trying to get rid of things but there’s a lot of pushback. It’s so hard…

    • @ArtamStudio
      @ArtamStudio 4 месяца назад +2

      Oh man I feel ya. Just last week I purged and donated two large boxes of books. (My 4th major book purge.) My spouse's contribution? ONE book. Same thing with clothes, hobby stuff, electronics, everything. It's frustrating but if the will to purge doesn't come from within, there will be anger, defensiveness and new trauma atop old trauma. Good luck!

    • @dustyflats3832
      @dustyflats3832 4 месяца назад

      There is just too much stuff in our small space! Ugh! I’m not getting any younger, I hate cleaning a small space and trying to move around or dust is getting impossible. Just had a talk with my husband and we will begin tomorrow.
      Our families were of the depression days or just after and they kept everything because you never know when you will need it. It is quite true as many times if we needed something they would have it. We don’t have as much room and this is the smallest place we ever had and we grew up in sizeable homes, but at the cost of things I think we are stuck here. If that’s the case then things have to go. I was hanging onto some pieces of furniture, dishes ect in case we moved, but I’m resigning to the truth that I just don’t see that happening.

    • @dustyflats3832
      @dustyflats3832 4 месяца назад +1

      @@ArtamStudio😂I have books-mine, my deceased mom’s and grandma’s. I’m starting tomorrow! I need a change.

  • @creatorschild8247
    @creatorschild8247 4 месяца назад +5

    This is exactly me!
    Im sooooo overwhelmed, stressed & depressed from my clutter.
    Even though it’s killing me…. The overwhelming anxiety of getting rid of it stresses me out…. Even though I know deep inside…… I may feel stressed getting rid of it at the moment….. in a short while after I do….. I feel such relief & freedom.
    Im going to try real hard next week to start getting rid of hordes of stuff….. as I realize the stress of living with it is far worse…. As it’s every second of every day.
    Please pray for me to be strong & determined 🙏🏼

  • @Ahhposition
    @Ahhposition 4 месяца назад +14

    This is so spot on! As a 68 yo, I get so sentimental over stuff from my dead family members, even though I had such a happy childhood & I didn’t lose my parents until they were in their 90’s. But I always feel so much better after decluttering.

  • @miriammcconnell6465
    @miriammcconnell6465 3 месяца назад +7

    You were totally speaking directly to me. I have had so much loss (people), and hanging onto things as if to keep control and to hold onto anything. Random tokens of family that have passed won't bring them back, nor do they contain that person. Having permission to let things go is HUGE since many of us were raise not to waste anything. But when everything has value, nothing does. I am on a minimalist journey and your content means so much!!!

  • @alyssamillionaro
    @alyssamillionaro 4 месяца назад +27

    In my childhood/youth environmental issues were a great topic. My father wanted to produce almost no trash, we tried to recycle everything and to re-use stuff (clothes for rags, icecream boxes to be useful boxes later on etc). It took me a while to find out that it is ok to throw away things, because I always wanted to find a new usage for an item.

    • @chey8721
      @chey8721 4 месяца назад +1

      Oh, I can relate. My late Mom never bought my sisters and I clothes to wear at home, loungewear as we call it now. We wore our old clothes and old school uniforms (skirts in this case). And yeah we used our old clothes as rags.

  • @MyFocusVaries
    @MyFocusVaries 4 месяца назад +17

    Thank you for sharing your story again. You've come through so much. When my friend died of cancer, it made me think, why are we burdening today's life with "just in case" items that we store for tomorrow's life? We don't need to stock up.

    • @cherylperkins7538
      @cherylperkins7538 4 месяца назад +1

      Some things YES we do. Pay attention to the news, the stock market is due for a correction. Many will be caught without enough food and supplies. I sailed through the pandemic and was in want of nothing. But it means organizing a lot.
      Stay watchful

  • @djb1164
    @djb1164 3 месяца назад +3

    Taking photos of sentimental items makes it WAY easier to let them go.

  • @eloquentlyemma
    @eloquentlyemma 4 месяца назад +19

    My main source of guilt came from the fact that none of my childhood possessions ever meant very much to me. It was traumatic at the time but it made decluttering in later life very easy. I now consider myself to be an intentionalist rather than a minimalist and value the limited number of possessions I have.

    • @patriciaheraty7380
      @patriciaheraty7380 4 месяца назад +2

      I'm a "mindfulist", that way my aspirations and intentions only come into my home when my mind and to-do list are ready to work on them ;-)

  • @Ualalalalalala
    @Ualalalalalala 4 месяца назад +5

    I feel this, in our culture is very common to inherit dishwear sets, old ones, carpets, blankets, paintings etc.
    Basicly anything and everything, so my grandmother got her mothers things, then her sisters, and when my grandparents die, all their stuff came into our house, however we also had donated things from family, friends etc.
    Growing up poor, when we got a house it was an avalanche of stuff, and my mother would keep everything, because being poor you cant exacly afford buying it, so it was always usefull to have backups just in case, the problem with these backups, is that at some point it accumulates too much " trash ", recently ive been helping my mother declutter tons and tons of books, basicly same origin, from family, friends etc, problem is theres a lot of nonsense books, books she would never read in a life, but she still keeps it just in case it will ever be needed....this constant state of survival and keeping things we think might help us at some point, suddently applies to everything, i always understood the blankets, clothes, etc, but the never ending dishwear, etc
    Ive started a few months ago, slowly minimizing my things, my personal things, also because i intent to move out eventually, and will probably only be able to have 1 or 2 baggs with me on the road.
    But just trying to get rid of 6 giant piles of books has been incredibly stressfull and drainig... but seing my personal room slowly becoming emptier feels like a weight is being lifted off.

  • @paulabroadway1697
    @paulabroadway1697 4 месяца назад +20

    Nailed it!
    Growing up with a schizophrenic hoarder parent, it can be almost impossible to know what "normal" really is.
    We knew something wasn't right, but children can't label it much less fix it, even as the influence lingers into adulthood.
    Fast forward many years, and I found FlyLady. Her methods allowed me to crack the shell on how to part with stuff.
    Your videos have been so helpful in picking up the next chapter of decluttering and getting to the bottom of issues...
    as well as the back of the closets! 😁
    Thank you!

    • @beans4853
      @beans4853 4 месяца назад +4

      Interesting. My mother coped with her stress by going on a garbage spree, just dumping everything in sight. Made me want to keep everything! Thankfully, I managed to move back to MO of a middle ground and hope to be a better example to my children. I help them declutter constantly and explain the why and how of the benefits to having less and letting go of what you can't manage. I talk to myself at the same!

    • @dustyflats3832
      @dustyflats3832 4 месяца назад +3

      😂😂my MIL was sooo addicted to garage sales that my FIL used his hard of hearing to ignore her gestures as they flew by garage sale signs. He said we will have to deal with the mess when they are gone and the whole huge walk up garage was so full-I don’t know how we did it.

  • @dayday8332
    @dayday8332 4 месяца назад +9

    4 years ago I listened to 11 people in the space of a year and a much loved pet. I freaked out and moved to my mother’s for 4 months just to be close to her! Mind you I am married with a child. I enrolled my son in school at my mom’s and helped my husband move us towards family. Grief does crazy things to people. Thank God my husband is a great person and understood and was willing to change with me. I got interested in minimalism shortly after as things no longer had as much a place of importance to me.

  • @KarMa-ws3ll
    @KarMa-ws3ll 4 месяца назад +6

    Stopping worrying g about stuff clears so much time and mental capacity.I remember having a spine surgery several years ago and did not want to get help afterwards because of my unorganized home. Only closest friends were allowed. It was not even thaaat bad. But it was also very hard to keep on top of things with limited mobility, energy and a lot of pain.Having my 5th this year while not having any surplus stuff. My apartment is organized even on the worst days bc there is simply not enough stuff for it to get messy. If I return needing a mobility aid, there will be plenty of space to move around. If I need help, people can find stuff easily. Cleaning only takes a few minutes. When my father died, i just took a staple of his fabric handkerchiefs - because he always had a clean, ironed one handy. They are totally my Dad and dont take any space, but spark a lot of memories. It really, really is a deep relief for me and keeping it up for over 10 years now.

    • @dustyflats3832
      @dustyflats3832 4 месяца назад

      I have my dad’s hat-it is totally a Pop memory. Mom it was her scarves.

    • @KarMa-ws3ll
      @KarMa-ws3ll 4 месяца назад

      oh thats nice. Its strange to, to me, these handkerchiefs represent the personality of my dad.@@dustyflats3832

    • @margaret1336
      @margaret1336 4 месяца назад

      Yes I call Dad’s handkerchiefs my inheritance!❤❤

  • @haileyreign971
    @haileyreign971 4 месяца назад +7

    Over the past few months, I've realized that I have a problem with gifts. I end up keeping gifted items because giving it away will make me ungrateful, not because I actually want it. Happened a lot during childhood. I now realize it was an attempt to give me a better childhood than what my family had.
    I wasn't attached to "stuff" back then & I'm still not. Anytime I said I didn't need or want something, they became upset. I internalized it & just accepted what I was given to make them happy.

    • @dustyflats3832
      @dustyflats3832 4 месяца назад +2

      lol, every Christmas is the same. My SILs give my husband and I small gifts and used books, games. I so carted the bag of books out the door and the games will follow. Just hope they don’t ask questions.
      What I need to do is let them know how much we appreciate the gestures, but to give us only items we can consume as I Really have no room.

    • @JamieM470
      @JamieM470 4 месяца назад +4

      A gift that comes with a price----"You must keep this forever, cherish it, store it, display it, maintain it, or I will be CRUSHED and think you are a horrible person!"
      is not really a gift. That's a huge price to attach to a "gift".
      It feels like a form of control and power over my life, dictating to me what I should feel, how I should decorate my home, how much inventory I should be forced to store and maintain in my own home. It builds hurt and resentment along with the overwhelm of too much stuff...in addition to a feeling of panic and dread when they visit!
      This is no way to treat someone you love!
      A true gift is something that is thoughtfully chosen and freely given to demonstrate love and appreciation.
      The GIVING of it is the gift; not the eternal display and storage of an item.
      I struggle with a good response when someone complains about a "gift" they gave me and they don't see it displayed in my home.
      "Oh, I didn't realize it came with a hefty eternal price tag!" sounds kind of snippy lol.
      Maybe Marissa would have a good way to reply to folks like that. If anyone does, I'd sure appreciate it :)

  • @larajohnson8656
    @larajohnson8656 4 месяца назад +8

    Your story is amazing.
    You seem like an example of “You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.” So brave of you to live your life. Keep going.
    And I suppose this is true for all of us, isn’t it?

  • @Hillside-Hive
    @Hillside-Hive 4 месяца назад +5

    For some reason The Brave Little Toaster was a fond memory for me so a couple years back we picked it up in the $5 bin for a road trip. I was so excited to share this with my kids. Not 15 mins in and 3 kids were crying with ine asking between sobs, "why is this for kids?" (She was a teen)
    Needless to say, i tossed it at the next gas station 😂

  • @ingekaspers6412
    @ingekaspers6412 4 месяца назад

    Happy birthday! You are so motivating and you let me see that EVERYONE can declutter

  • @lisagagnon6712
    @lisagagnon6712 3 месяца назад +2

    Omg I’m so glad you are healing . We all have stories and thanks for sharing . That is a lot of trauma. God Bless you

  • @karenmuna7179
    @karenmuna7179 3 месяца назад +1

    Thank you for sharing!

  • @tonyraya
    @tonyraya 4 месяца назад +2

    I needed this. Thank you!

  • @BrainOverBingeCoachJulie
    @BrainOverBingeCoachJulie 4 месяца назад +1

    Thank you for sharing your story.

  • @karinecarrier7998
    @karinecarrier7998 4 месяца назад +1

    Happy Birthday!! Thank you for all the great content of this channel 😊

  • @stellamc
    @stellamc 4 месяца назад +1

    Happy Birthday! Thank you sharing your journey with us.

  • @angelicamason1650
    @angelicamason1650 4 месяца назад

    Thanks for sharing Marissa. happy Birthday and Happy New Year to you and your family.

  • @vivianhudacek1556
    @vivianhudacek1556 4 месяца назад

    I appreciate your openness about your challenges. Thanks

  • @juliegolub2602
    @juliegolub2602 3 месяца назад

    Beautifully said ❤

  • @LisaHerzchen
    @LisaHerzchen 4 месяца назад +3

    Thank you so much for sharing your journey!

  • @gingerbreadfarm
    @gingerbreadfarm 2 месяца назад +1

    Many thanks and a big hug💝

  • @shannonflood255
    @shannonflood255 4 месяца назад +4

    So kind of you to share….. I so relate to your story❤ it’s amazing how you’ve triumphed.

  • @Buttah1033
    @Buttah1033 3 месяца назад +1

    Thank you for your vulnerable message. I needed to hear this today. 💜

  • @nothingelsematters29
    @nothingelsematters29 3 месяца назад

    A big hug 🤗🤗🫂 really loved this video ❤

  • @maryscott1830
    @maryscott1830 4 месяца назад

    Thank you for being so vulnerable!! I know it’s hard. Really enjoyed this video! Currently de-cluttering! ❤

  • @davidyule3605
    @davidyule3605 2 месяца назад

    Incredibly powerful video! Thank you!

  • @leelewis22
    @leelewis22 4 месяца назад

    Happy Birthday! Thank you x

  • @katsybo
    @katsybo 3 месяца назад

    Thank you! I’m glad I found your channel.

  • @Itallnew
    @Itallnew 4 месяца назад +13

    I have always sort of the opposite issue. I have always been of a minimalist mindset, even before I knew what it was called….even as a child my room was very minimal as I am super sensitive to visual clutter and can easily feel completely overwhelmed .
    But after some pretty traumatic events over the years, I just don’t get attached to much at all…I see everything as junk that will end up in a landfill someday.
    I also don’t want to burden my children with all my stuff when I’m gone…been there done that with other family members and it’s SOOOO incredibly overwhelming and emotionally draining.
    I feel like nothing truly matters anymore other than our relationships with our family and my faith. EVERYTHING, even people are only temporary, and we are here for just a brief moment… we came here with only ourselves and we will leave the same. It’s only the lessons we have learned and the love and experiences we have had that matter.

    • @MyFocusVaries
      @MyFocusVaries 4 месяца назад +6

      I relate to your perspective. I did a major purge during COVID after my friend died of cancer. Storing things "just in case" seemed so pointless after seeing her die suddenly at a relatively young age. Burdening our today with things for an imagined tomorrow is pointless (because even if we live a long life, we don't need to stock up for it).

    • @sunshine3914
      @sunshine3914 4 месяца назад +1

      I feel the same. My father always said that he “came into this world with nothing, & would leave with nothing”. He was a minimalist who had done alright for himself, purchased a large piece of land to grow on & acquired some large pieces of equipment… of which I could actually use right now. But after his death, 18 years ago, I blocked everything completely out for over 5 years & have no idea where anything went, even the life insurance. I don’t feel any connection to anything I own, yet I don’t have the energy to get rid of any of it.

  • @yoli8964
    @yoli8964 4 месяца назад +1

    Great vlog! Thank you for telling us your personal journey.

  • @a-koravand4354
    @a-koravand4354 4 месяца назад +1

    Thanks Melissa and happy new year ina dvance.

  • @gracemeneses9217
    @gracemeneses9217 4 месяца назад +3

    Happy birthday ! Your story has been of great help to many.😊

  • @connielucas3064
    @connielucas3064 4 месяца назад +2

    Thank you for sharing your story. So truthful and authentic 👏🙏❤️

  • @MIOLAZARUS
    @MIOLAZARUS 4 месяца назад

    Thank you so much for giving all this life context ❤❤❤

  • @jenniferking6961
    @jenniferking6961 4 месяца назад +2

    Marissa, what a powerful video. Thanks for sharing your story. Happy 4-Year Anniversary!

  • @biancamiscodan3782
    @biancamiscodan3782 4 месяца назад +1

    Thsnk you for making this video.❤

  • @angelatommasohellman454
    @angelatommasohellman454 4 месяца назад +1

    Thank you for sharing

  • @livingoncoffee
    @livingoncoffee 4 месяца назад

    Wow! I really appreciate your honesty. We gave been through so much. It's good to be upfront about it.
    Keep stretching forward!!!

  • @TRex-os1uy
    @TRex-os1uy 4 месяца назад +2

    Thank you for sharing so much. It was raw, it was real. I appreciate you and what you're doing here.

  • @stelaidrizi
    @stelaidrizi 4 месяца назад

    This video was just what I needed right now. Thank you

  • @anitanavarro4121
    @anitanavarro4121 4 месяца назад +1

    Thank you for sharing your story. It inspired me to get up and start declutter.

  • @sfranks7727
    @sfranks7727 3 месяца назад +1

    Excellent advice. I needed to hear this. Thank you. 😉

  • @livingoncoffee
    @livingoncoffee 4 месяца назад

    Wow! I really appreciate your honesty. We have been through so much. Keep stretching forward!!
    Much good is ahead of us.....

  • @dean4125
    @dean4125 4 месяца назад +6

    alcohol is evil. my brother just died from it on May 20. he was only 39. he left behind 3 kids. I still cant believe he is gone. there is not a day go by that I dont think about him. and wish there was something I can do to help him. we tried over the years. but his alcohol addiction got the best of him. looking at alcohol just sickens me now

    • @AtoZenLife
      @AtoZenLife  4 месяца назад +2

      I’m so sorry for your loss. 🙏

  • @Giannina-LoveThemAll
    @Giannina-LoveThemAll 4 месяца назад

    2 mins in, and I'm balling. Thank you for your transparency and for not giving up. 💙💙💙

  • @sallydansereau1270
    @sallydansereau1270 4 месяца назад +1

    Happy birthday. I have been following your channel for a few years. Love your content, you have inspired me. I have been decluttering for a while. It is a habit and a mindset that takes time to hone, but oh soooo worth the effort. Thank you for all you share.

  • @beenajacob4020
    @beenajacob4020 4 месяца назад +4

    This week gave away a huge Turkey & accompaniments from a posh restaurant and an elite cake which came home as corporate gifts.. i especially love "decluttering" food stuff.

    • @richheruk
      @richheruk 4 месяца назад

      I'm looking forward to doing this after Christmas - my husband received a hamper from work full of food we won't eat. I get really anxious when there's too much food in the house.

  • @celebratecreatingwithkathr9353
    @celebratecreatingwithkathr9353 4 месяца назад

    Great video! PROUD OF YOU GIRL!!!!

  • @jeanbrozack7940
    @jeanbrozack7940 4 месяца назад +1

    Loved watching this a little earlier today. Great motivation for me to keep minimizing. Love your ideas and the way you present. Thank you and wishing you a peaceful New Year!❤

  • @mariamacdonald1007
    @mariamacdonald1007 3 месяца назад

    Thanks for sharing! You are doing such a great job explaining and sharing your story.

  • @tamarap387
    @tamarap387 4 месяца назад +1

    So happy to finally see what led you to be the beautiful minimalist you are today! Thank you!

  • @WhoaBasil
    @WhoaBasil 4 месяца назад +1

    I stumbled onto this video. Your thinking and words are strong! And good! This will help me get another layer deep into culling out more.

  • @sXeMartyr
    @sXeMartyr 3 месяца назад +1

    Loved this!

  • @kaettananunyabiz903
    @kaettananunyabiz903 4 месяца назад +4

    I totally identify with this. You lose people, their things become a link to them,even with pets. I inherited the majority of things i have from a beloved grandmother and my shopaholic-hoarder mother. It took me some years of serious introspection and grief processing to realize i didn't have to feel guilt over getting rid of things, just remember the love and laughter. As for the blackout? I lost a year at least, it's autopilot. We are human,we do it. Kudos to you for coming through it so well. Happy birthday,and thank you!🎉

  • @JustMe-px9qy
    @JustMe-px9qy 4 месяца назад

    Thank you so much for sharing.

  • @Leah-bs8mr
    @Leah-bs8mr 4 месяца назад +7

    Thanks for this video, decluttering is therapeutic. A few years ago I gave to goodwill my designer high heels collection, most of which were barely worn if at all. One day I decided that wasn't who I was anymore and although I still liked many of the heels I wanted to let go. After that good experience I just started like you said to be more intentional with my purchases and if they bring me enough joy to add to my home. It really has made me a better person and made me a more generous person as well.

  • @veganosaurusrexx5369
    @veganosaurusrexx5369 4 месяца назад +1

    thank you for sharing such personal history of your past, it must have been so hard for you. And now you can speak so openly about it all. props to you

  • @Isabella-yh8ls
    @Isabella-yh8ls 4 месяца назад +10

    Thank you for sharing so openly. You are an amazing inspiration.❤️

  • @michellehamric6856
    @michellehamric6856 4 месяца назад +11

    A belated Merry Christmas and an early Happy Birthday! It's so wonderful to see how you were able to take all the bad things that happened to you at a young age and were able to turn it all around for the good. CONGRATULATIONS for a job well done!

  • @bsmithFCC
    @bsmithFCC 4 месяца назад

    Really appreciate you sharing your story about your losses. You brought me to tears. So amazing how you survived and thrived. Great video, good tips, thanks for sharing.

  • @teresafry3295
    @teresafry3295 4 месяца назад

    You are awesome! Thanks for sharing. I am on the declutter journey and find your tips helpful and inspiring. 🙏

  • @Meemee-mo5it
    @Meemee-mo5it 4 месяца назад +1

    🎉 Happy birthday!!

  • @clairekeating1403
    @clairekeating1403 3 месяца назад +1

    Thank you for sharing your story. It took a lot of courage and it will help so many other people. Thank you

  • @veronicab4372
    @veronicab4372 3 месяца назад

    I'm so proud of you.

  • @annmarenakos8276
    @annmarenakos8276 4 месяца назад

    Thanks for sharing so sincerely your grief, losses, and the great complexity behind the emotional need to hold on to things as the place holders for many deep missing elements of life and people who were once anchors in one's life. I'm on to the hardest stuff to declutter for 2024 and strive to make huge progress with boxes of papers, photos, keepsakes, and family history. I look forward to hearing more about your Jan. private group and lesson offerings. Happy New Year!

  • @nancyreed5062
    @nancyreed5062 4 месяца назад

    This video is so emotionally important to us all.

  • @SilviaN1
    @SilviaN1 4 месяца назад

    How wonderful that you broke the cycle, and did what you did. Many would probably just have given up. I´m cheering for you!

  • @Alina_malina_tea
    @Alina_malina_tea 4 месяца назад +1

    I just want to say thank you!

  • @tyynisaari
    @tyynisaari 3 месяца назад

    Thank you so much for sharing your story and for all the valuable tips! May you and your family always be blessed!

  • @willmc7681
    @willmc7681 4 месяца назад +1

    Awesome job!

  • @mferretti8044
    @mferretti8044 4 месяца назад

    Thank you. I know how you felt!!❤❤